24 Jan 2017 · 6 min
Brent Kelly explores which critics actually matter and how to tell valuable feedback from noise. He draws on John Maxwell's insights about when to listen to criticism and when to ignore it.
Detractors, doubters, haters, critics, whatever you want to call them, there's always people who don't want you to succeed. However, there are some critics that you should actually listen to. And I'm going to talk about that on today's Daily Biz Grout. Hello there, this is Brent Kelly of Bizgriz with another Daily Biz Growl podcast. Famous poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said this. He said, whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There's always difficult arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires critical courage. Now, as a speaker and a trainer, my focus is to give value to my audience and help them achieve more, right? To reach their potential. It's one of the things that I focus on. However, there are some people I know this is shocking, who don't like my message. For example, even if I go somewhere, this actually didn't happen that long ago. A few months ago, I went and spoke to a group of leadership team and 38 out of 40 of my reviews were positive, right? So I had a 95% success rate, right? According to people that enjoyed my presentation. Yet those two people caused me to doubt myself and my abilities. It's kind of crazy. 95% success rate, right? Even that can be perceived as a negative experience if you're not careful. Now, admittedly, I'm a people pleaser and maybe you're a people pleaser like me. And I want you to take heed in this advice. Even if you're a semi people pleaser, not everyone will like you. And maybe you already know that. But let me just make it clear, not everyone will like you. You could be the best leader, you could be the best producer, you could be the best anything, enable people. There will be people who will gladly, with a big smile on their face, tell you that that's not the case. I love the following quote from Jonas Salk. And if you don't know that name, I didn't either. But Jonas Salk developed the polio vaccine. And I love this quote because it's so true. So understand this is someone who invented the polio vaccine. He said this. He said, first people will tell you that you are wrong. Then they will tell you that you are right, but what you are doing really isn't important. Finally, they will admit that you are right and what you're doing is very important. But after all, they knew it all the time. So even though criticism is painful. And today, of course, with social media, everyone can be a critic, right? It doesn't mean that criticism is bad, or at least all bad. In fact, there are some critics who you should listen to because they help you grow. Here's the big however, you've got to be really selective, very selective when deciding which critics to listen to and which ones to tune out. So with so many critics, how do you filter out helpful, constructive criticism from just the plain haters? Leadership expert John Maxwell writes about how to determine when to listen to critics. And he says to heed the advice of the critic only when these situations are true. These situations need to be true before you heed the advice of a critic. First one is, are unconditionally loved by the one who criticizes you. Two, the criticism is not tainted by his or her personal agenda. That's important. Third part is this. The person is not naturally critical of everything. Have you ever read someone or seen a review on Amazon and someone gives it a one star? Then you go to their profile. Maybe that's just me. Because you're just curious, like, how can this person give this product or this book one star? And you realize they give everything a one star. The next thing he mentions this. The person will continue giving support after giving advice. So just because they say something critical doesn't mean they say something that they won't say something positive afterwards. And finally, this he or she has knowledge and success of the area of criticism. It always amazes me the critics that have these strong opinions and yet have never done anything that they're criticizing. So much of it, right? Much of the criticism you're going to have to block out. But you will also need to find the people who you can trust who will offer you feedback even when it doesn't always feel good, right? In fact, sometimes it'll just downright hurt. Because as you know, if you're a parent or anybody who's helping someone that may be in a lower level of awareness, tough love is still love. Let me just end with this. Critics, doubters, detractors, haters. They're everywhere, right? You're surrounded by them. That's just a fact of life. However, don't miss the opportunity to learn from those critics who can help you grow, develop, and love you in the process. Hey, thanks for taking some time to listen to another daily Biz Growl podcast. I am certainly happy you are one of my listeners, and if you like this podcast, it's adding value to your life and your business, please go to itunes or Stitcher Radio and leave a positive review. I certainly would appreciate it. Again, this is Brent Kelly of Biz Grizz, challenging and encouraging you to go face your grizzly.
