The Three Questions Everyone is Asking About You

Hey there and welcome back to another episode of the Agent Leader Podcast. My name is Brent Kelly. I am your host and my pleasure and honor that you're with me today on a new episode. And this is going to be a little bit of a unique episode in the sense that this episode is going to release right about the time that we are finishing up the Profit Net two day live event for the Sitkins Group. Now, this is a two day event bringing in agency leaders across the country, sharing ideas, bringing in outside speakers on relevant subjects. And I think the biggest part of this is we're taking the information and everything is in a roundtable format. We want to take the ideas and be able to implement and execute, not just think about the ideas, that's the first part, but be able to figure out what can we actually apply. And you know, again, this is mainly for agency leaders. And my topic at the Profit Net that I'll be doing a presentation on is the three questions that everyone is asking about you. It's a leadership topic. And so what I wanted to do for those of you that couldn't be live there now, maybe next time, next time you'll be there, right? But for those that couldn't be there live, I wanted to share a little bit of a summary overview of what I spoke about when it comes to leadership, because obviously every agency leader could benefit from not just understanding some of the things that I spoke about when it comes to agency leadership, but certainly then figuring out how to apply what are the specific situations for me and my agency that I can use. And so I just want to kind of go through and summarize this a little bit with you and have it on today's podcast. That's what I'm going to do. And again, the topic of my presentation was the three questions that everyone is asking about you. And I'm going to get to those in a minute. But the first part, I think when we think of leadership and why this topic is so, so important, and there's many reasons why leadership is so important, but I think the best way to really understand what leadership means is to understand who has had the most impact and influence on US leaders that we have been mentored by or coached by or learned from, whatever the case may be. So right now, wherever you're listening, if you're driving, don't close your eyes, but if not, maybe close your eyes and just think about the first person that comes to your mind that was an influential, impactful leader in your life. Hopefully you had a picture pop up in your head, and maybe you had multiple people, but just think of one for right now, okay? Hopefully you've got them. And now I want to ask you the question, why? Why was this person that came to your mind, came to your awareness, so important to you, so impactful to you? What were the characteristics? What were the things that they did? What was the feelings that you had? Just write that down. Again, if you're not driving in front of you in a word or two or a phrase, hopefully you've got something written down or certainly at least in your head. See, when you think about the people that have led us, you quickly see the importance of, wow, I can and should have that impact on others. And if so, how do I do that? Now, there's a lot of definitions and theories of what leadership is, and I don't know there's really a right or wrong one. I think they're all applicable, most of them, at least. But my favorite definition of leadership comes from one of my mentors, John Maxwell, who I've had the pleasure and honor of spending time with and being part of his team. But John's definition of leadership is. I think he's about 30 years old when he came up with this. I mean, as far as it's been around that long. And his definition is one word. Leadership is influence, right? Leadership is influence. And my guess is the person that you pictured in your head and some of the characteristics that they had and how they affected you and impacted you were because of influence, right? They had influence in your life and of course, positive influence. So leadership is truly influence in our lives. Now, when I talk to leaders and as I spoke at Profit Net, well, how do you. How do you build influence? How do you gain influence so I can become a better leader? Well, again, lots of different things, but ultimately for me, if you want to really be a great leader, I think another characteristic that my guess is you probably felt with this person you thought of was they connected with you. They didn't try to convince you of stuff. They didn't try to hit you over the head. Maybe initially they did, I don't know. But ultimately, in some way or another, they connected with you. I think the greatest way for you to increase your influence is to move from a communicator, which is really important, but to a true connector. Connector of people. Because what does that mean for you and your agency and your life? Well, it means stronger relationships. I think we all want stronger relationships. We have a better sense of community. Our culture and our agency dramatically improves when we learn how to be a communicator and then a connector. Right, that connector. Our profitability increases and we become more productive. So all really good things. In fact, there was a really great study done by a company called Teleometrics. This has been several years ago now, but they studied 16,000 executives to understand why some were really high achievers and why others were low achievers. In fact, they had three categories, high achievers, average achievers and low achievers. And you start to see some really quick correlations with this. You know, the low achievers were very preoccupied with themselves, with their own security. They didn't seek advice, and they had a very low level of trust with others. The average achievers were focused mostly on production. So they were focused on getting things done. They were still very much focused on their own status. And they would sometimes listen, but typically only the people that had authority. Right. They wouldn't listen to everybody. They would just listen to certain people that they wanted to. I thought that was kind of interesting. And then you look at the high achievers, those that are getting great results. Now at the Sitkins Group, we talk a lot about there's three levels, I think of agencies. There's the quoters and floaters. That's the name that we give the bottom 80% of agencies. And by the way, some of them are doing really well as far as financially, they're doing okay. Better than most industries out there. But they're quoting, they're floating. They don't have a plan, they don't have a process, they don't really have a system. They don't have a design idea of where they want to go. In some cases quoters and floaters. Then there's the average achievers or the average agencies, which I think are a lot of the trusted advisors. They take the next step up. Again, they're getting a great level of production, but they're still having regrets. You look at the high achievers, the top 2%. We often talk about the 2 percenters, those 2% of agencies not just in size. I'm talking about appetite for growth, hunger for growth. When you look at high achievers, and this study was very. It's very interesting, show that high achievers care about people as much, if not more than profits. Duh. Right. But really focused on people. They view others and not just superiors when it comes to title or position, but others very optimistically. They're always looking to see the best in people and how to add value to all people. And they actively listen. They're great Listeners, which is a challenge, right? A challenge for me. I know that in many cases, but a challenge for all business leaders. And so you look at this study, it kind of came to my attention of the importance of leadership. And what is the purpose of all of this? What's the purpose of leadership? Why is this topic so important, not just in your agency? Because we want to feel good. We want to get good results. Well, the purpose is to add value to others, right? Is to add that ultimately is the purpose of leadership. How can I add value to others? In fact, I would challenge you every morning when you wake up as a leader of any capacity, whether you're leading your family, your agency, you're leading your sales team, you're leading your clients. How can I add value to others today? Because a big part of this, what I believe, comes in the difference of success and significance. Both are important, but they are different. Success comes when we add value to ourselves. I did this, I did that. Significance comes when we add value to others, and there's a difference. And you know, one of my favorite quotes of all time is the great Zig Ziglar quote who said, if you help enough people get what they want, you can have anything you want. If you just help enough people get what they want, you're going to get great results. Right? It's what he's basically saying. Jim Collins, author of the book Good to Great, which is about 18 years old now, almost 20 years old, he said this. I love this quote. Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets or technology or competition or products. It is the one thing above all others, the ability to get and keep enough of the right people. Now, if you're listening right now, how important is it for you to get enough and keep enough of the right people? Say amen, right? Talk to agencies every single day. It's like, oh, we just gotta find the right people. We gotta keep our best people, all those things yet. So often we get stuck on what Jim said. Markets, technology, competition, or products. Now, it doesn't mean those things aren't important. Of course they are. But first, the one thing is the ability to get and keep enough of the right people. And to me, that starts with connection. That's leadership. Now, this is a huge challenge. I was fortunate. I had a great mentor, teacher, coach. When I was very young. That person also happened to be my mother. And she said something that I didn't really understand or hear when I was a kid. You ever understand? I heard Something, but I didn't really hear it. A lot of kids now as a father of five, I get that all the time. Like, I don't think they really hear what I just said. But my mom said this, she said, those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. And what does that mean? You can try to convince people to do things and you might have some short term success, but at the end of the day they're going to go back to the things that they believe in anyway. Maybe you've experienced that at home, at business, in your agency. So my challenge to you is to stop convincing and start connecting. Where is it right now that you're trying to convince? Where could you substitute an opportunity to begin to connect? Because see, connecting, of course goes along with communication is a skill and it's also an attitude. So let's start with the skill because see, communication and connecting is something that we can get better at, something. Oh, I'm just not a good communicator. I'm just not a good connector, really. So you can't get better at this. In fact, when I do, our producer FIT programs our sales training for insurance producers. By the way, next one's coming up in May, so reach out to us if you're interested. But one of the things that I'll share with the producers in the room, I'll say, well, how many of you, by a show of hands, think that communication and connecting with your clients, your future ideal clients, your carriers or any form, right, to be a better communicator has a huge impact on your results? It's really, really important. And every hand in the room, not shockingly, goes sky high in the air. Oh, absolutely, we gotta be a better communicator. I agree, I agree. And I say, well, how many of you actively working each and every day and week on becoming a better communicator through proactive training, through rehearsals, through videoing yourself and all the hands go down. Why? Well, it takes work. It might be embarrassing, it may be uncomfortable. So number one skill or connecting is a skill, but it's also an attitude. It's the way that we see things, the way that we feel things. It's to be able to look at people and go, hmm, I am going to do my best to understand you versus just tell you what I think. Right. So why do leaders, you think about, why do leaders across all agencies? Because again, we work with leaders every single day and you know, it's all part of Growth and learning. But why do leaders in general, when we see this, why do they struggle with this connection? Maybe they're great at sales, but they're not connecting with their team. Maybe they're great at administration, but they're not great at connecting with their team. Whatever it is, why do they struggle? And it's so, so important to results of your agency? Well, I think there's a few things. Number one, I think there's a level of immaturity. Now let me explain immaturity, because sometimes you think of immaturity as a pimply faced teenage boy, right? But there's different levels of immaturity. My oldest daughter, and by the way, my daughter is an awesome kid. I mean, she really is. She's a very good student. She does well in sports, she's active in her church. I'm very proud of her. But she's still a teenage daughter. And if you have a teenager or you've raised teenagers, I think you can probably smile and nod and go, yep, I get you. But they're very focused, focused on themselves, right? In many cases. And it was not too long ago, I was in the kitchen and I was doing some cleaning up around the kitchen or whatever at the end of dinner and she was sitting there doing something and was talking about this and that and kept saying, I need to do this and this is important to me. And I, and me and I and me, and I and me. After a while I'm like, oh my gosh. So I began just to slowly walk around the kitchen table and I walked around again about the third time around, she looks at me and goes, what are you doing? And I said, well, hon, I've realized that everything in this world revolves around you. And so I just want to be part of your orbit now. I thought it was funny. She didn't, she didn't think it was funny at all. But I chuckled. Here's why I share that story. We can do the same type of thing without knowing it, right? We do believe that everything revolves around us. And maturity ultimately is what maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of other people, right? Just to be able to see and act on behalf of other people. The second reason is a level of ego. I think as leaders we struggle sometimes with ego. And by the way, ego isn't necessarily always a bad thing. I think ego is a trait inequality, at least a healthy ego that helps us achieve good things. We should be self confident, we should be driven, we should think that we're worthy, right? I think Every one of you in insurance agencies, I should always say, your clients should know that they're better off after doing business with you. That's a healthy ego. But ego can also be destructive. Just for example, and I did this at profit net. What if I took a selfie? Let's say there was five or six of us sitting down at the table and I took a selfie and I said, take a look at the picture. What do you think? Who is the first person you're gonna look at? Yourself. Right? That's just naturally who we are as human beings. So we've gotta be able to understand that we all have an ego. We have to find ways to break out of that ego. And the last thing is a failure to value everyone. There's a great story I heard. I love this story. It was a professor talking about a nursing program, and they were having their final exam for the nursing program. And obviously the number of questions on medical questions. But the last question was, what is the name of the cleaning lady that cleans this room? Because they were doing labs and the cleaning lady was there almost every night. They were doing labs. And some of the nursing students would come back and say, is this real? Is this a real question? He goes, absolutely. It's going to count just as much as the other questions. And this is the moral of the story. He said, you are not in the medical business. You are in the people business. See? And I would challenge every one of you listening right now to think about this for a second and take this with caution, I guess, is the best way I can describe it to you. But you are not in the insurance business. You are not in the risk management business. You are in the people business. And your tool of the trade, the service you provide is insurance and risk management. But you are first and foremost in the people business. And there's a, just, again, a philosophical difference in how we look at things. See, the most important language in business is the audience's language, your audience's language. And I want you to visualize that. Every single person, whether it's an agency, someone on your agency team, whether it's your carrier partners, whether it's a center of influence, whether it's your client, your future client. I don't care who it is. I want you, every single person that walks around, I want you to imagine that they have this antenna in the back of their head that sticks up in the air and it's directed into a radio station. It's always the same radio station, wiifm. What's in it for me, that's what people are thinking. What's in it for me, fair or not? So you as a leader, as an influencer, as a connector, have to find a way to build bridges so that they can look at you and say, you know what? This person can help me. I trust what they say and do, and I know that they truly care for me. And that leads directly into the three questions. The three questions that every single person is asking about you. Now remember, leadership is influence. So I don't care about your title or position. I care about you. Do you serve people? Do you have an impact on people? And the answer, of course, is yes. So the three questions that every single person is asking about you and they've got that antenna on their head, remember, is these three questions. Number one is, can you help me? This is a question of skill, a question of results. See, everybody wants to get better. I think at least the people that we're talking to, right? They want to have some positive outcome and they want to know, do you have a tool, a resource, an idea? I don't care what it is that can help me get a result that I'm looking for. Could be small, could be big, could be somewhere in between. But can you help me? Is question number one. Question number two is, can I trust you? Will you do what you said you were going to do? Will you be accountable? You know, my kids can. Great examples. I can say I can tell them how they should behave, how they should treat people, how they should put their stuff away, but if I don't model it, if I don't do it, it's all hot air. There's been some great studies out there about communication, connection, and then, of course, credibility. And this may not be shocking to you. You think of, think of, like, politics and of course, in our own business and the insurance agency, in the first six months of most relationships, communication overrides credibility, meaning that what we say is more impactful, more important than what we actually do because we're just getting to know each other, right? But after six months, credibility always outweighs communication. People are saying, well, okay, you said you were going to do this, but did you do it? Now think about your own relationships personally. How about professionally? How about for your insurance clients? If you tell them you're going to do stuff and you promise all these things and after six months you haven't delivered, does it matter what you say at that point? How about your team members? Oh, we're going to do this and we're going to Take care of this, and we're going to help you do this. And after six months, they're going to say, show me. Right? Show me that. So we have to understand that credibility is a true currency for you as a communicator and that you. And we want to write this down. If you're not driving, you are your message. You. You are your message. And it's important and impactful that you understand that. The last question. The first question, can you help me? The second question, can I trust you? The last question is, do you care for me? Do you care for me? Do you value me as a person? I had a great opportunity a couple years ago working with a very successful organization. They were having some success, but I came in to do a Lunch and learn presentation, and it went really well. And had a conversation with the leadership team at the end, and they said, hey, would you mind maybe figuring a way that we can start to do this consistently? And I want you to come work with our sales team? And I said, sure. What's the biggest frustration? What's the biggest challenge you're facing from a sales team perspective? And they said, you know, our people are doing pretty well overall, but there's something there that's missing that's holding them back. And we can't put our finger on why they're not doing great. They're doing good, but why aren't they doing great? And so I began to do weekly trainings with this group. And then, in fact, I would do a weekly training every other week. And then I would do a coaching where I would go in and listen and learn, ask questions, and we get more feedback from the group. And the second coaching session, something hit me that there was a problem between a disconnect between them as sales professionals and the leadership team. So I asked them these three questions. I said, well, question number one, I want to ask you is, do you believe your leadership team can help you? Meaning they can help you get the results you're looking for. And everybody said, yeah, absolutely. Of course they can. They've done a great job. I said, great. Second question, do you trust them? Meaning that if they say they're going to do something, do they do it now? There were a few people that kind of had their head looking around. I said, well, do you trust them? And they said, no, no, no, we do, actually. We do trust them. They've always done what they said they were going to do. Just sometimes it takes a little longer. But they have been very trustworthy. I said, great. So, number one, they can help you. Number two, you trust them. So what am I missing here? Let me ask one more question. Do you believe outside of sales production that your leadership team truly cares for you, that truly values you as a person? And maybe you've been in a classroom before where the teacher asks a hard question and all the students put their head down, kind of look around like, please don't call me, please don't call me. And I said, listen, guys and gals, like, your information is confidential with me. I just want to help you get better, learn and grow. And so one gentleman in the back of the room looked up, raised his hand and said, I'll give you an answer. I said, okay. He said, absolutely not. Outside of us just getting our sales numbers, I don't think they really care about us. I really don't. And I said, wow, that's very powerful. And so I had an opportunity to talk with leadership the next week. And I didn't give away any names, but I just said, here's what I'm sensing and I'm feeling, and here's what I'm hearing from a group perspective. And I told them, and they were shocked. They said, really? No, we really do care about them. And I said, well, what have you done to show them? Again, outside of writing them a paycheck, in fact, one person goes, well, we do give them a check. And I said, well, I know that, but outside of just the paycheck, what do you provide them that says that you really value them, you really care about them as human beings? And they were like, I don't know. It's a great question. See, here's what I want you to remember and write down if you can. Silent gratitude is no gratitude at all. And if you want to connect with people, you have to show them that you really care. And I can tell you, running this podcast, when I teach and train on this stuff, it hits me between the eyeballs because I know there's many clients that I'm like, man, when's the last time I've said I really appreciate you? My own relationships, my wife, you know, what am I really doing? I completely appreciate her. But am I saying it? Am I showing it? So again, these three questions. Can you help me? Can I trust you? And do you care for me? Are the keys to unlock the door, to build connections, to gain influence, and to become a high level leader? You probably have heard this story before or this quote before from Maya Angelou, who said, people don't care about how much you know until they know about how much you care. And it is absolutely true. And let me give you one quick personal example of a great leader who has impacted me. And maybe it seems self serving, but it's absolutely true. And it's from Roger Sitkins. See, when I started with the Sitkins Group a couple years ago, I knew that Roger had the tools and resources and 30 year track record of helping agencies and he could help me. He'd help me deliver results. So I didn't have any issue with that. And I realized very quickly from our early conversations what we did that I could trust him. What he said was true. So those two questions were great. Do you care for me? I can tell you one of the things that has been super impactful and it's actually pretty small in the realm of things, but super impactful is that when I go to a training event and I travel a lot and I have five kids at home with a wife, it's really hard on them. And I know that and he knows that because he's lived it. And when I get done with my event or heading back, every single time, he texts my wife and he shares that I did a good job and that he's proud of me. He shares how impactful, important she is and thanks her. He talks about the kids, he cares about me, he cares about my family. See, that means the world to me. Now, I'm going to work hard either way. But I can tell you when you have a leader who believes in you, right? You have a leader who you know can help you get results. You have a leader that you know you can trust and you have a leader that cares about you more than just the end result. But as a human being, your productivity, your influence, your results skyrocket. They skyrocket. And I think most importantly too, and I'll leave you with this. As you become a high level agency leader, you will begin to move from success, which again is about adding value to yourself to significance and, and adding value to others. And by the way, when you add value to other people and gain significance, it also begins to multiply your results. So those are the three questions that everyone's asking. That was my premise of my keynote that I gave. Again, I just gave you kind of a summary here on today's podcast, but I thought it was important enough just to share that with you. And you know, it is so important to me that I can share some things that I'm learning, things that I've screwed up, things that I've done well, all sides of it. And just talk and share some things to help you as an agency leader, whatever your role or position, to be your best version possible. And if we can help you at the Sitkins Group in any way, reach out to me. I'd love to hear from you. If this podcast has added value to you, love to get a rating and review from you. Also share it with somebody else who could find it useful. I'll be continue to publish these and finding ways again to add value to you as a listener. So I appreciate it. I wish you all the best in your success.