Ep. 105 The Unforgettable Research Of Ryan Estis

Hey there, Mark Brown. We have a rock star on with us this week. When Kendra hall is bragging about him, Jennifer Joseph Lear is bragging about him, you know, this is the real deal. Somebody who's booked constantly, does his own original research, works with companies in leadership and sales, and booked pre pandemic, booked constantly at levels of fees that you and I look up to. I'm so excited. Mark, your thoughts?

Yeah, listen, man, we get to sit down today with an individual who was listed by meetings and conventions magazine as one of the best keynote speakers ever heard. Let's meet Ryan Estes.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix and Darren Lecroy.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation AHAs. Let's dive right in.

All right, Mark Brown, let's welcome Ryan. Ryan, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for joining us.

Thank you guys. I'm excited for the conversation. Appreciate you having me on the show, Ryan.

Just give people who don't know you a little background on how you got started in the speaking world.

Sure. So I came up in corporate America, so I was an entry level sales rep. Got pretty good at that. And I should give some credit away to a professional speaker. So I was about. I was my first year of an entry level sales job out of college and I hadn't made a sale in about nine months, which by the way, isn't a good thing. And so I was on the verge of getting fired and moving back into my parents basement to sell baseball cards for beer money. And I caught a lucky break. I got invited to a networking seminar by a friend. The only reason I went is because he said there was a free happy hour. And a man by the name that we'll all know, Jim Rohn, took to stage. I thought I was gonna blow the speaker off at break and head to the nearest bar. And within 10 minutes I realized that this was a defl moment. And those three hours changed the course of my life. I did everything Jim said, bought his books on tape, started to become a professional student again. And 18 months later, I was the number one salesperson in the company. So Jim. Jim changed my life. I went on a trajectory inside that industry. Advertising, communications. Ended up as the chief revenue officer for about a $200 million agency, had oversight for sales and strategy. And as part of that job, I was doing a lot of speaking, industry related, just to be clear. It was really part of our thought leadership was part of our marketing strategy, right? We'd speak at conferences, promote me as an expert. I'd present client case studies. And it worked. We were expanding the brand, the business, acquiring new business. But I got good at it, and I started to look forward to those days the most. And look, I was a student of self help ever since Jim saved me that night. And, you know, so I had been to workshops, seminars, read every book on tape, listened to every book on tape around sales and leadership that I could get my hands on. And then as I was getting good and developing my craft, I just decided to study the industry, right? Hire a coach. How did Tony Robbins become Tony Robbins? What is Simon Sinek doing to get booked? And I wanted to understand that. And so about a year of coaching and some time with NSA as a student, and I decided to make my move. And that was 12 years ago. And it was the single best professional decision I've ever made. It wasn't always easy, and I'm sure we'll get into that, but I've never looked back. And I feel grateful to do this for a l. An extraordinary privilege.

Do you remember a couple of things that Jim said in the speech that really like, went right into you made it unforgettable?

Yeah, I can give you a couple of them. Now. You were the average of the five people you spend the most time with, right? So a little auditing of the circle.

The beer circle there, Ryan.

The beer circle. Yeah, exactly Right. So that one landed hard. Here's another one. Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. That one really, really registered deep. You know, so often we complain about circumstances, the things outside of our control, instead of focusing on what we control, which is how we show up our effort, our skills, our education, our perspective, our craft. This isn't an easy business, but the thing I can control is how good I get. And that's what, you know, today, what you guys do. That's what it's all about, right? It's. It's cultivating your craft. Jim was a master there, probably. I still have. It's. It's really cool. I still have the. The notes that I took. And I was sitting there with a beer figuring, who's this guy? Then pretty soon I was like, hey, asking the person to my right, do you have a pen? Can I get one of those? Extra workbooks. I think I need to write this down. I was a kid. I was 23 years old. But, man, that was a powerful night.

Wow. When you started diving in and you were working on Ryan, and you're like, this is what I'm gonna do. You had mentioned before we started the show that you got some coaching yourself.

Well, I did. So think about that. I mean, I hired a speaking coach while I had a corporate job, right? So I'm working at the ad agency. I'm doing some speaking as part of my job. And then it was in me. I was like, man, I would love to do that for a living. But is it real? Do they get paid? I don't know. So I went to an NSA meeting and somebody recommended this book, the Wealthy speaker by Jane Atkinson. I read it, I just called her. I said, hey, I'm not a speaker. I have a corporate job, but I want to learn more about the business of speaking. You know, can I hire you? And she. Of course, she said yes. I started to go down a path, and she said, look, if you really want to understand this business, go to a national NSA meeting. And keep in mind, I still have my job, right? So I take a couple of vacation days, fly up to New York for a big NSA meeting. It's crazy story. Tim Ferriss was doing a breakout session. He had just published a book called the Four Hour Workbook Week. And so there's 30 people in this breakout. Nobody knew who Tim Ferriss was. I go into this breakout because I thought the title was cool or whatever, and I got a copy of the book. And so between meeting Jane in person, nsa, and then on the flight home, I'm reading the Four Hour Workweek, and there's a story in there about an attorney who comes to an inflection point and decides that he doesn't want to be a lawyer anymore. He wants to live his most intentional, authentic life and pursue what's inside him and how. So many people don't answer that call. It's a whisper, but they ignore it because you have a mortgage and a car and a family. And, you know, I'm reading it on the way home, and I'm like, okay, I can ignore all these coincidences, or I can be honest with myself and say, I want to do this. I'm just afraid. And it was through confronting that fear and getting some support that eventually I made my move. So that was. Yeah. And I. Look, I'm a student, right? If you're going to be a teacher, you're going to stand on these stages. Right. And people are going to pay to hear what you have this say. I believe the best teachers are students. So I'm a lifelong learner, and I think any great speaker is. I'll never work without coaches and advisors and people around me that are helping me continue to evolve. Skill up. It's like, Phil Mickelson would never play the masters without a swing coach. He's got eight coaches. He's got a trainer and a dietician and a nutritionist and a mind coach and a strength coach and a putting coach and a swing coach and a. And a caddy. There's eight, nine. And so it's worth considering if you're a pro and you want to be on the speaking tour, how many coaches do you have and where are you going to learn? And skill up. And hopefully people are listening to this as part of their journey. So, yeah, that's my approach.

And what were a couple of the ahas that the coaches gave you, like, mistakes that you were making, that they gave you that whole new perspective? Do you remember any of those big breakthroughs?

I do. You know, Jane, and she's great. And so one of her theories is, you know, pick a lane. You can be a professional speaker. You can be an expert who speaks. What are you an expert? Because I was, you know, at that point, I said, well, I can speak about a lot of things. And I think that is a rookie mistake. Right? It's like, hey, you're pretty talented, articulate, charismatic. You've got a lot of energy. I can make a speech about whatever you want me to make a speech about. No, no, you're a sales expert. You've been doing that for 20 years. You've mastered that discip. You run a sales organization, and you're a leader. You're on the leadership team. You've been a sales manager. You've managed teams. You rose up in the ranks of this company. No, you're on the growth team. I mean, you're an executive. So those are your two disciplines. So sales and leadership became my focal point, my area of concentration. And that was really good insight because it was authentic to me. And. And then since then, you know, I've worked with. I worked with Dr. Nick Morgan on the stagecraft. Right. Jane was very helpful in helping me understand the business, the opportunity, and how to get organized. But I had a lot of energy and I had pretty good taste, but I was so raw. And Dr. Nick Morgan really kind of took that raw energy and created a framework and cultivated some Organization and some discipline on the stage so I could have more impact on an audience. Those are things I had to learn, though, and I think that's probably the point of emphasis.

Thing is, I'm glad you said that, because Darren and I have talked about picking your lane before. And we ask people to tell us what is the premise of your speech? And they say, well, anyone can do this thing. And Darren goes, no, no, no, you don't talk to anyone. Who is your target audience? Where is your area of expertise? And you said, do what is yet to do, what was meaningful to you, where your expertise lay. And I believe that's one of the first mistakes emerging speakers make. I'm a good speaker. I'll talk about anything. So how would you advise Ryan, that emerging speaker who says, hey, Ryan, you are listed as one of the best speakers in the world? I want to be a great speaker. I'm starting out. What's the one thing I need to. I need to master right away? What would you advise them?

My first question is, what have you already mastered? Because that's. That's your expertise. I'm a good speaker. Prior to ever speaking professionally, I gave thousands of presentations. I mean, I was.

I worked.

I worked in advertising for 17 years, right? So I was pitches and strategy sessions and winning deals and competitive bids and RFPs. I'd given thousands of presentations. I was a good presenter, but I wasn't a professional speaker. Understanding your domain, your expertise, your voice, your message, that's item one right up front. So in order to become a master, understand what you master, and if you haven't mastered something yet, get back to work.

We always say it's not the speech you give, it's the life you live. And just like you're that example of a life worth watching, you know, what are we diving into? What experience does Ryan have that we get to tap into to shorten our learning curve?

I say that I think that's a really valuable perspective, too. I always say, life is content. And instead of trying to get people interested in you, just be interesting, right? And have a point of view and a perspective and go develop something that other people can learn or benefit from. And that to me is, you know, item, item number one. And that was part of my research project. You know, I have this domain expertise. I think it's valuable. It's certainly been valuable in the context of my business. Is it something that other organizations would pay for, and is there a place I can go to learn more about that? I just think that that investment, the Other. The other thing I'd mention is if you're thinking about doing this professionally, it's a business like any other business. It's a competitive business. Part of the reason it's so competitive because there's low barrier to entry. But you need to treat it like a business. It's a P and L sales and marketing business. So you need to have capital and invest in yourself and your product and have a budget and a timeline and a team around you. And I treated my business acumen was useful because we run our sales and marketing just like we did at the ad agency. I mean, I take my playbook and drop it into what I'm doing, and we treat it that way. So, you know, it's interesting when I have conversations like this, people like, you hired a coach who did all this research before you started. And I was like, I was starting a business. How else would you think one would do such a thing? Like, of course I did market research. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm starting a business.

Preach it, brother. Preach it.

So maybe the principle is, do your homework, right?

There's three things, Ryan, that really stick out to me about your style and how you do things. One of them is just your storytelling. Obviously, Mark and I talk about storytelling a lot. Kendra is the queen of that. But you have this way of. I'll never forget that cup of coffee, that coffee cup story that you take this, just this experience from your life that happened and absolutely relate it to what we do every day in business. Where does that come from? Or how would you recommend people spot that story? Because I think a lot of people experience the stories, but they don't spot it and realize, ooh, this could be valuable.

Yeah, I think you have to be curious, right? So you, you know, this is never within an arm's length. I'm always taking notes, reflecting, writing down. So, you know, what's. What's your process for reflection and evaluating your life's experiences? And if you're, you know, I'm. I'm someone that is pretty mindful. As I've. As I've gotten older in life, I. I meditate, I take walks, I reflect, I journal. And so those practices help me cultivate the experiences in my life that I feel would a be relevant to somebody else and then also resonate in a compelling or emotional way. And part of. Part of what I like to do is just be the observer. So you think about the cup of coffee story. It's not a story about me. I was gifted and earned the privilege to tell somebody else's story by paying attention to an experience. That story is about Lily. And it's. I am the one who has been bestowed the extraordinary privilege, the honor of telling her story, of sharing her gift with the world, because that's what I do for a living. I'm a professional storyteller. And so here's this extraordinary human being who touched my life. She's touching other people's lives. I'm observing this happen, and I'm in the unique position to say, hey there. I learned something extraordinary from this woman, and so can you. And it's. And I'm the messenger. So that's. It's also looking at it that way. I think it's often amiss if you're just focused on, well, what did I do? That's great that I can tell other people. Oftentimes the stories I tell have nothing to do with me. I'm the observer and the messenger. But if there's a relevant insight that I can share with the audience that can help them be more of who they are or help them on their further journey, then the story becomes a gift worth giving. And so that's the way I frame it.

That's wonderful. Let's dive a little bit deeper. How can the new emerging speaker or the complacent speaker. I've got my. Some great stories. I got my signature. People are going to love it. It's awesome. But how can we train our brain to kind of pick up on a story or an experience that we can share? As you said, not about me, but what I've seen, experienced, or learned. I can then say, here is a story. Here, let me develop that. Is there a muscle you have to massage to get to that place?

Well, I think there's homework that's required. Right. So I would challenge any emerging or veteran speaker. If I was coaching them, I would say, well, hand me Storybook. I want to look at your life archive of all of the most important stories that have shaped the person you are today. And so if someone can't hand me their storybook, that's probably a good place to start. And so I could. I could walk into a stage now and tell you in a deep, emotionally resonant way, the Jim Rohn story. And I could walk you into that room and who I was as an adolescent and the failure I was experiencing, experiencing, and the fear that I had and how the life preserver that Jim threw me altered the course of my life. I've cultivated that material. It was an inflection Point. So it's through the process of self inspection. What are the defining moments of your life? What are the five biggest challenges you've had to overcome? And what did you learn from those experiences? You start to cultivate more self awareness through the examination of your life experience the things, the people, the experiences, the journey that made you who you are today. And that reverse engineering is mining for gold that we could take onto the platform, not just to become great ourselves, but in the service of the audience. And I think probably the most important thing I could say if I was advising an emerging speaker is when I started, it was all about, I have something to prove. I came out of a Fortune 500 company and I'm going to be a great speaker. And here I am with my stories. You know, I had this sort of chip on my shoulders, like I had to prove that I belonged in this profession. And it really is the wrong way to look at it. You can get so far with that. There is utility to that. But a much better way to look at it is what do you. What do you have to give? Right. And so I've really evolved. Right. How did I really have my breakthrough as a speaker? I stopped looking at it as what I had to prove. I went from having something to prove. Did I get a standing ovation? Was my. Did my story land? Was I funny versus forgetting all of that? Just show up with something to give that's going to be relevant and resonate with the audience. This hour isn't about me. It's about them. I am the servant. And once I kind of made that shift and began to cultivate that something to give mindset, it's just, I think, a lot easier to connect in a humble and authentic way.

Number one, your storytelling and how you make these practical life experiences and bring them and tell them. I love. If you're listening to this, go to ryanestas, check out the story. I will never forget that cup of coffee. Just brilliant. So go check out his website. The other thing that blows me away is your intensity and intention, Energy, intention, intention, all wrapped up into the Ryan brand. Where does that come from? Or how could someone cultivate that?

Yeah, look, I mean, I think energy is a word that's often associated with my bookings. Right. And it's something that I'm very, very mindful of. So being intentional. Right. And not giving that energy away to the wrong places. And so I think. I think part of that is you have a vision like you're moving towards something that is very meaningful to you that really matters. And then in service of that, you can kind of get through the challenges, the adversity, the roadblocks, the barriers because you have this true north, right, that's guiding you. I also say like when you're doing the work you're meant to be doing, you're gonna have energy, right? Like, I love that with you guys. I'm getting energized through being a part of what you've created and sharing my experience and maybe this can impact two or three other people. That's not lost on me. I think, I think when we're called to serve and when we're serving, that creates energy, right? Watch somebody who's helping somebody else and you'll see somebody that's switched on, right, that's ignited the energy is very connected to that. Something to give mindse. I don't care what flights I've been on and where I'm coming from and you know, what time zone I'm in, this is their hour. This is the one time that my eyes are going to connect with your eyes and how I, how do I want to leave my mark in that moment. And it's the truth, right? Like I'll say this sometimes from the stage, this is our hour. Most of you, we're never going to be in the same room again for the rest of our lives. How are we going to leave that space? And just honoring that, Right? Reminding yourself of what you're there to accomplish, I think creates that energy and that intensity. I want the moment to matter because that one hour, many years ago when I was 23 years old and lost and didn't know myself, it changed my life. Occasionally people from the outside will say, oh, you know, keynote speaking, like I get it, you have your script and you get your laughs and your standing ovation, but you're really not making a difference in someone's life either. I'll challenge that. Wrong. We made a difference in mine, right? So I still have the notes from when I was a 23 year old kid, completely altered the course of my life. And so I just, I'm reminded of that when I'm doing this work.

Well, you know, I gotta tell you this, right? I'm kind of pick on Darren for a second here because he, he tells a story. He told you. I coached him 20 years ago this week.

Wow.

He won the World Speaking Championship 20 years ago this week. And he always reminds people of the advice I gave to him the night before the finals. You talked about where you've been, where you're going. But right now, it's about the audience. And Darren always says, I told him this, and I'm going to confess, I didn't remember telling him this. What did I say? Darren, What? Tomorrow. Tomorrow you have.

Tomorrow you have the privilege of 2,000 lives for sale. Seven minutes. What will you do with that?

And that speaks to your comment. You just made one of my keepers. I'll give it to you early. You said, make the moment matter. It's the one time you get one shot at that audience on that day, at that time in that room, make that moment matter. And what I love about your advice is this, Ryan, you are moving the spotlight away from me and putting it squarely on them. So for every emerging speaker or experienced veteran speaker, we're going to remind ourselves why and for whom we do what we do. And for me, it's a big thank you, Ryan Estes, for that key point. I really, really appreciate it. How has that mindset, that perspective shifted, the way you speak in that? Did you ever, when you start off, think about how good I look, how great I sound, how smooth I am on stage, am I dressed well? Have I got the radio voice? I mean, did you have all those hangouts when you first got started?

All of it? You know, of course there was a ceiling that I hit pretty quickly. With that mindset, philosophy and approach, you can have a chip on your shoulder. And if you're willing to work really hard and you want to prove yourself and you have a little bit of talent, that's. There's utility in that. It'll get you to a certain place. I also find there's a lot of suffering in that, too, if you're not careful. Right? So, you know, you have a couple of life experiences that, that wake you up a little bit, and you start to ask bigger, deeper questions. Because if you're doing this work, the work we get to do, we're privileged to do, and I love that word because it is a privilege. If you're doing it just for you, you're missing a much bigger opportunity. I'm not to say that, not to say that you can't be a great speaker if you're doing it just for you. If you're that talented, you're that interesting, you can pull it off and probably make a great living and have a great business, but you've missed it by a mile in my estimation, because there's something much more meaningful on the other side of letting go of how you look and your ego and surrendering to service and that's what we're there for.

Yeah, there's a deeper joy that you're missing out on. I came up with a fourth as we were chatting here. But the third thing, Ryan, that I think really makes you stand out is your original research. And I know you created your own research and learning organization, but bringing original research to a presentation, that makes it unforgettable. Give us some insights on that.

Again, sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. So I had a very good personal friend of mine who ran a research organization in Minneapolis. We were good personal friends and I started to explore the idea of just conducting my original research, having a data set that I could leverage and utilize in my talks that were unique to me, that nobody else had. And so we've published some research and papers and reports together. That was a beautiful relationship. And so then that, that actually prompted me to say, well, what if, what if. Actually I went a step further and I conducted original research with my audience and then I actually walked into the stage and was able to tell them things about themselves that they didn't even know. And we built content around that. And it's pret. Extraordinary. Not every client has the capacity or wants to go on that journey, but boy, for the ones that do it. Can you talk about a level of customization and perspective that you, you can bring to a conversation. And we have a, we have a client that's engaged in this work with us right now. And you know, I can do, I can facilitate an executive retreat or an off site or a leadership conversation and tell them where they're struggling and how to solve it in a way that nobody else can. I know things about them they don't know. And so that level of quantitative and qualitative research combined, when you talk about customizing content from the platform, there, there is no other way to do it that gets to that level of insight and perspective. So you can imagine when someone's learning something about themselves, their level of engagement starts to elevate. That's pretty powerful. Yeah.

But real quickly, I want to really hang on to this, what you have just told us. And again, I was going to say, yeah, you just took customer listen to a new level. Yes, you did. But not only that, it shows the client, it shows the audience that unlike so many speakers who come with their back pocket, really well rehearsed, really well delivered back pocket speech, you have come in, right, with a focus that's squarely on them to identify where they have their deficiencies and their weaknesses. And hey, I have the answer not because I'm great, but I took time to find out what you need. I have a way to provide what you need, and here it is. So what I'm seeing as an audience member is here's someone who cares so much about me and my organization to help me get better at what I do. I have no difficulty referring him to somebody else who's trying to find someone like that. How has that approach helped your referral?

Well, I mean, my whole business is relationships and referrals, Right. I mean, I'm not a famous person. I'm a business person. And so it's the research and learning and the experience I share with the audience, I think that garners enough energy to create prompt for a referral. But I'll build on this and I'll give you some perspective, because something you said landed for me. It's not that I'm great. It's helping the audience identify where and how they can be great. It has nothing to do with me. I'm just the messenger. I'll give you an example. Culver's hamburger chain, right? It's 800 restaurants midway, okay. We've all had the butter burger. It's extraordinary. Great food, Great food. So I was hired to keynote their franchise summit, right? So there's like 800 restaurant owners in Orlando right before the pandemic. So I said, original research. Well, it'd be great to do qualitative research. They have a physical location. I could walk in there with my team and have the Culver's experience, then reflect back to them on what it was like. And of course, I bring my video crew, and we're scheduled to meet the manager, one of the restaurants here in Minneapolis. And we're meeting and we're filming and getting B roll and doing some interviewing, like I'm prone to do. And we sit down, we've got all the food on the table and sampling the menu, and all of a sudden we hear this. The song, the Happy Birthday song erupt over. And so my camera crew quickly turns and they're capturing this. There's a woman in the restaurant that day was 96 years old, and she was celebrating her 96th birthday with her daughter at Culver's. And so we got to interview her on camera about why she chose to walk into that restaurant on her 96th birthday. Wow. And so if you don't think stepping onto that stage at that conference and explaining to them the magic magic that makes someone want to commemorate their 96th birthday in your restaurant, that's how you can be great. You replicate that with consistency across this entire organization, and that's customization and credibility that nobody else could have brought to that conversation. Now, again, it's one of those things, right? I got lucky. I didn't know she was going to be there and they were going to start to sing. But I find that if I'm doing that level of work, I get lucky more often. And the cool thing is, I'll share the link, because that excerpt from this keynote we have on YouTube, and if you're really developing your stagecraft, you want to see a story that's customized, that really lands, that's another one, I think that people could take and say, wow, that was pretty thoughtful. And look at the impact it had.

Yeah. And I realize you're doing the work, and I appreciate your humility, and I'm going to say, but you observed the moment and knew you could do something with it. And I think that's what we need to see. You're doing the work. Work that allowed you to observe the moments. And I think that's key.

And that goes back down. Rhett said earlier, help us by sharing with us today, right. You're helping people to understand we can begin to see and recognize a moment that maybe we hadn't seen or we wouldn't have seen a year ago or 10 years ago. But by developing, doing the research, by reading, by practicing, by getting coaching, by doing all the things you recommended, that's one more way to make that Muslim more aware. Ah, I see something there. I could use that. You could have said, oh, man, they're allowed over there as we're done and finish the interview. But you said, no, let me find out why she's doing that. And what's going really shifted.

What's going on over there? That's interesting. It's having. Curious. What's that? Yeah, why is that? Who's over there? And it's just being open and curious. That. Oh, they're singing Birthday. Oh, there's a birthday. Oh, her. Oh, her name's Helen. Oh, she comes here a lot. Helen. Okay, well, let's go put your cameras on. Helen.

Let's.

Oh, she's with her daughter. I'm gonna go say hello. She said, sit down, young man. Let me like it. Now I'm sitting down with Helen during your birthday party. And here we are. And three weeks later, I'm standing in front of 800 restaurant owners saying, I want to introduce you to my dear friend Helen.

Boom, boom, boom, right there.

And I bet the Event planners and the CEO and everybody was like, out of their mind, you know, because sometimes we forget. Yeah, the audience. But we're hired by someone who wrote a check to serve the audience, just like you're saying. Did they give you any comments about that piece?

I mean, referrals, testimonials, hugs, tears. You can see me walking off the stage and Craig Culver, who owns the company, just rushing up to me to embrace me, right? And now think about it a second. Now I have the Starbucks story in my hip pocket, right? I mean, it's so close. It would. It would have been enough. It would have worked. It's the same kind of thing, right? It's, It's. It's. It's in the restaurant retail space. It's about service. It. You know, it would have been enough. But look. But look at what I gift. And they'll never forget, Helen. They'll never forget that every moment with the customer matters. You never know why they walk through the door. You never know whose birthday it is. Connect, engage, smile. And when you show someone that opportunity, right, to be great, it's about their opportunity, not mine. I'm the messenger.

That's awesome. So, fourth thing that I think really makes you stand out, and I was doing some Ryan research of my own. I love that in your testimonials, you have people who say, look, he comes back each year, and it's never the same content. That's incredible. And one of the things that you talk about that, Mark, you and I teach in our event, unforgettable presentations. But we say, what's the action? What's the one action you want to take? But you seem to have this down and customize it for each audience, that there's specific, actionable content that you give them. How do you create that? How do you know for this audience what they need is this and this audience, what they need is, is that. How does Ryan think that?

One through it's discovery, right? It's the research. So it's getting on the phone with the stakeholders in the meeting and asking questions. And I'll give you a couple of questions. Why are you pulling everybody together? What's the occasion or the objective? Right? What does success look like? So if this meeting was a grand slam home run and it met all of your expectations or exceeded them, what would that mean? What do you expect from me in the slot I'm in opening or closing keynote, typically. And then what do you really hope happens after the meeting ends? Like, I always think the most important minute of A meeting that I'm typically invited to speak in is what happens at 8:01am the day after the meeting. What are people gonna go do? So part of what I'm thinking about in my mind is how do I bridge the gap between what happens in the room or what we're doing virtually, if that's the case, and then what happens the day after when they're back in the business? And so, so that action orientation, right, is like, okay, what does the customer want? Where are they on their journey? And how can I inspire action? The reason, part of the reason I focus on emotional storytelling is because when there's emotional resonance, people are more likely or more inclined to go through the discomfort of change, right? So when you're elevated emotionally, when your state is elevated, like, okay, that's it, I'm going for it. When I get back, I'm going to pull everybody together and do this. And it's in that place that I want people making their decisions. So typically, before I'm off the stage, we're in that action planning framework, right? And, and the client knows that A lot of my clients will leverage that. Like, yeah, let's do that action planning thing and then we'll, we'll have people turn them into their managers or we'll all post one action. We're going to take on slack. And then it's like, okay, imagine 800 action plans going into the business at 8:01am Monday. The momentum reverberation, the energy, it's a cascading effect over a business and that's how you create momentum. And so I, I want to put people in that place where they're inspired enough to do the hard thing, which is change. Wow.

Darren, I just met someone who was matched you on energy and I'm getting nervous, man.

He's, he's the hero on this one for sure. So, but, and that's one of the things, when I saw you, Ryan, I was, I was like, he gets me. He's my brother. Because I'm quiet off stage. But I, but, but I have that same intention that you do. And that's why I love it and resonated with me.

And, you know, I'm not, it's interesting and I'll share this. I'm not an extrovert. I'm not, I'm probably somewhere in the middle. I'm not a total introvert either, but I can, I can get uncomfortable, a little anxious in like new social situations. I don't love cocktail parties and small talk and networking. It's, it's not my comfort level. I like a lot of depth, but that I'm, I'm not, I'm never the life of the party. And so just whoever you are, that's really not what this energy is about. But when I'm in that place and I have an idea that I think can land to help someone else become more of who they're capable of being, that elevates and expands who I, I am, and that's energy.

One of the other things you have a knack for, kind of related to the action items, is during your presentation, you asked some really powerful questions. One of them I wrote down was, how will I be remembered by the people I work with? Because I know you work with a lot of corporate clients too, and trying to get them to engage and get along and love on each other to bring the company to the next level. And I just think that is such a powerful question.

Big one.

Oh, I never even considered that. How will they remember me? Who cares? It's my family. But it's like, these are people you spend eight hours a day with, or 16.

Well, that question begins if you spend a little time with it, which we'll do, that's another opportunity, right? I'll tell people, especially in the leadership side of the work I do, everyone can walk out of there with their own personal leadership vision. It's like, when I'm my best, this is who I am. How do you want to be remembered? Remembered, Right. If somebody on your team was talking about you ten years from now to a friend, what would they say? And let's really get specific about that. Let's start to write that down. And so you go through this exercise of visioning, who am I when I'm my best self? Who do I want to be in service for my people? What kind of impact or imprint do I want to leave? That becomes your personal leadership vision. And now you have a true north, a compass guiding you. So when something happens outside of your control, control, you don't fall apart. Right? You have a reference point, and that's really, really important given all of the chaos and uncertainty and disruption that we're going to be navigating. Here's another one I love. If nothing changes five years later, what are you going to regret the most? Right. That challenges people to look inside themselves and say, hey, am I on my path or do I know I'm not and do I need to? Do I need to confront myself and do something about it? If you want people to change, sometimes the most important questions you can offer. The questions we have to ask ourselves.

Wow. Wow, this is heavy. I gotta ask a question. I'm gonna yank the wheel on, you know, Ryan, real quickly because I know where time is going. I gotta ask this question, please. Did you ever bomb, despite your desire to serve your audience so well, did you ever have one of those? Man, I want to take the last hour of my life in your career.

Yes. And I wrote about it publicly. And you can link to the blog post in your show notes. The post is called I am a total fraud. So, yeah, I bombed. And one of the audience members, you know, it's an interesting question. Did I bomb? I sent it in. Maybe that's a better question, right? I went through the.

You phoned it in.

Phoned it in. That's probably a better refrain. It wasn't a total nosedive. It was just. I mailed it in. And so if I was grading myself, it might have been a B minus or a C plus. But it was obvious to one person in the audience, and he decided, he took it upon himself to let me know. The subject line of the email he sent in through my website was, you are a total fraud. And that was the kindest sentence of the email. Wow. And it hurt me. It hurt me. But I. To the. To this day, his name's Rudy. Well, leave his last name. Anonymous. And to this day, Rudy, what a golden gift you gave me because it forced me to confront myself. And in that moment of pain at the airport, as I was reading that and unraveling, what I was able to do was summon the strength to build a new iteration of myself. It was a personal attack. And I think sometimes in doing this work publicly, you have to take those with a grain of salt. I'm not for everybody. My energy is not for everybody. Okay? But there was growth. And through that discomfort, there is growth. And the reality is, I'm a human being. If I do this 80 to 85 times a year, they're going to be two or three that aren't as good as the two or three best versions of me. Same holds true for any performer. I don't care who it is. You're LeBron James. You're going to have a couple off nights. You're Brad Pitt. You're going to have a couple takes where you just didn't quite get the line right. But the discipline of preparation and honoring it as a privilege keeps me in a spot where even my B minus today still has a lot of resonance and impact. And so. But the answer to your question is absolutely, I did. I think if you do this long enough, you'll experience the pain of the bomb too. You know what I always say it's like, but what was the lesson? And. And you have to understand the setback is simply the setup for the breakthrough. And so oftentimes you have a setback and if you're paying attention and you're lear and there's a growth opportunity in it, you actually go further. And I think that was true for me when I was accused of being a total fraud. So to this day, thank you, Rudy. I still have the email. I saved it, I blogged about it, and I've never forgotten it.

Did you answer him?

You know, I never did. We talked a lot about that. I actually, maybe someday I still should. I should thank him for Rudy did.

Thank you for sharing that. Because you know so many people when one day I speak for myself first I was young and I bombed completely. And my first thought is, I bombed. And I saw all the negative and did not see the opportunity for growth until my buddy, a world champion speaker named Morgan MacArthur, an old horse doctor, had to use a question metaphor, said, hey, buddy, get back on the horse. Get back on the horse. What do you learn from this, Darren? Same thing you and Rick, right? You bombed. So. But we can all learn from those lessons, Ryan. I tell you, I taken what we say in the business copious notes, and Darren will not go for his dictionary today. You know what the word copious means? We have a running joke, Ryan. I use a big word and Darren says, what does that mean?

I have my dictionary right here.

That's what we do.

That's awesome.

Got a Darren it down.

It's great.

Got a daring it down. Ryan, I know you have an event and if people want to connect with you or work with you to upgrade their skills, because I love that you had that email, but you didn't just take it. You actually said, okay, I'm going to redefine. I'm taking everything higher. So how could people work with you? Go to your event.

Check you out the website ryanestus.com, but I'm also involved in another business called Three Ring Circus. And Three Ring Circus is a speaker development company. And so there are opportunities to engage me and the team to develop your craft. And so you could go to3ringcircus.com or I'll just give you a couple. A couple of prompts here. We're doing a boot camp in Nashville. The next one up is October 6th 7th and 8th. I will be there facilitating on the 8th. Starts with the dinner on the 6th. All day content. Josh Langner is going to be there who's another world famous keynote speaker. And really it's an opening of the kimono. You get to see how we built our businesses, the tips, tools, techniques and trade craft that we leverage to stay booked and create demand around us. And so I'm excited to be a part of this, excited to work with Josh and the team. So we'd love to see anybody who's serious about the business either in Nashville this October. We're going to do another one to close the year in December in Detroit. So those are the next two up.

Awesome. So 3ringcircus.com and Ryan Estes, E-S-T-I S.com please check it out like you if you are serious about this business. We need coaches. Ryan said needs a coach. I got coach. I got many coaches. Mark Brown's been coached. It's like one commonality with world class speakers. And last question before we go to the keepers. So Ryan, you're sitting down, having a cup of coffee with an emerging speaker who's maybe they just got that email and they bomb, but they truly believe they have that message. What would you tell them over coffee?

Get back out there. Mark said it. Get back. It was the great advice. Get back on the horse. The best thing about my bomb was I had another speech 48 hours later and there was all the anxiety and oh man, am I going to bomb again. And once you move through that, you're just the next iteration of yourself. So I would also say talk to somebody that's world class, that's been doing it for 10 years. They'll tell you their story. This is your story. And now think about that for a sec. I have a story. What a gift the bomb was. Now it's a story and I can put the email up on the screen at boot camp and we go, oh God, I can't believe he said that to you. We can talk about it. Life is content. People will see themselves in your suffering. And someday, five years from now, this moment might be a gift you give the world. Harvest it. So there's gold there. That's what I'd say.

Perfect.

Wow.

Mark Brown, what do we got for keepers here?

Oh, man, I need to get 18 deep breaths. I was writing furiously here. I love. I'm going to start near the ending. He says, give your own audience an action plan, something to do the very next day. He says, the work we do is a privilege and the best teachers are students. Make every moment matter and whatever you do, ask yourself what are you doing to learn and to skill up? Focus your energy in the right direction to give your audience the best value. Remember this. Your expertise lies in what you have already mastered. So understand your domain and remember to become a master. Understand what you have already mastered. Life is content, so be interested, not interesting. Invest in yourself. Do your homework. Be curious, Reflect. Be mindful. Mindful and observe what is in your life. Storybook. There's gold there. Use self inspection to cultivate the stories from your life experience. Whenever you're going to speak, remember this. You got to move from something to prove to something to give. My will is full. Ryan, Darren got a few more for us.

Well I just wanted to do another shout out on the if you have a chip on your shoulder, it can be good for a while but then you've got that ceiling. Yeah so you gotta let go of that chip to bust through the ceiling. And Ryan, you have helped us to upgrade our customization to a whole other level by your ability to just go do the work and then observe and then Helen's Butter Burger Birthday.

Bam. Helen's Butter Burger Birthday. I love that.

Ryan, thanks for helping us be unforgettable. If you're listening to this, Please go check out3ringcircus.com ryanestis.com thank you for spending some time with us and helping us serve our audience. Mark Brown Take us home.

Friends, it was our joy to speak with one of the most amazing speakers in the world. Take these tools, take these tips and remember, if you want to be unforgettable, forgettable, always give your audience an action plan. Be unforgettable and we'll see you next week.

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