Ep. 112 Build Your Business PART 1 Your Story

All right. Hey there, Mark Brown. We talk about presentations, we talk about stories, and we actually kind of like that. You and I just did a workshop for a law firm and we had so much fun helping them with their stories to build their business. And what was really exciting was just hearing the AHAs. And I think a lot of speakers, yes, they've heard about storytelling, they think about stories, but not necessarily the stories they tell to bring them more business.

Yeah. And it's important to understand that if you're not using a story to build your business, you're leaving money on the table. So I'm really thrilled about the idea of sharing somebody's aha and somebody's lessons because the reaction we got was just so amazing. We gotta share this, Darren.

Absolutely. So we're gonna do this as a two parter. Part one is about your story. Why you started becoming a presenter, why you being on stage, whether it's virtual or physical, why that matter? Where did that come from? Why would you to do that? That's crazy. And then part two is going to be their story. So this is your story, but maybe it's clients you help, maybe it's team members, but this is about building your business through story.

Let's do it.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentation Presentations Podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation AHAs? Let's dive right in.

And Mark, of course we gotta give two quick shout outs. One, to Donald Miller, who created the book Building youg Story brand. The book that I've gone through the most ever. It's a marketing book, but it's about story. And then Kendra hall, who was one of our guests, who, she wrote a book about stories, stories that stick. And we both, you and I, go back to these as references because look, if you're serious, if you're good at something, you don't just take what you learned in your experience, you're constantly learning. So we want to give credit to, to both Donald Miller and Kendra Hall. And then this is what. And Michael Hague, here's another person that we've learned from so many mentors, but we wanna give credit and just say, hey, we don't know everything, we continue to study, but what's really cool is we just had an experience with a law firm. So Mark and I are hired to come in and help them. Number one, their story. Meaning the woman who started the business. Why did she start the law firm? And so we thought this would be very relatable to speakers. Why are you a presenter? Why do you wanna be on stage? Why? If you're a pastor, why are you a pastor? And it's not just telling this story from the stage, but it's also the text story on your website. It's the demo video, it's the video that you embed on your website. Why? Because this is what we want people to see, to know why we're different, why, why they should learn from us. Because if you read a lot of speakers websites or presenters websites, it's a lot of the same. Yeah, they love it. They have a passion for it. Well, I don't know too many speakers that don't have a passion for it.

Yeah. The thing is, Darren, very often what happens is the information we have the about page on our websites and the about can't tell us who we are. And sometimes even when we discuss our business, they'll tell you that you went to certain school for so many years, they worked in this field, and they thought, well, once they got the expertise, they wanted to share what they have. And that's all very nice, but you made a very good point earlier. You said it's very generic very often what happens on people's websites. And the truth is, I want to revisit my own to make sure my story seems to make sense. Part of my story is the fact that I came to America. I was 18 years old, I had 40 bucks in my pocket, and this dream for a better life, that in itself is a mini story that tells the audience, wow, this guy's different. And it draws them in. So what's different about your website, about your story? Is it simply a list of credentials? There's some ways to change that and make it really pop for your audience.

Yeah. I remember hearing Patricia Fripp's story as to why she came to America with $500. So you came with less money, although you had a contact here where she didn't know anyone. And for a lot of people, it's like, wow, now you see Patricia differently. Once we experience people's stories, whether online, on text, in a video, in person, when we experience them, it draws us closer. It draws us closer. And I think that's what we're talking about. But not just using Your story on the stage to help your audience, but using your story in a way that will draw people to you so you can get on stage so you can get that opportunity. In fact, it was this law firm, and we will not use the name of the law firm, so we're just gonna say the firm, but not to be confused.

John Grisham.

Well, that's true.

That's true with Tom Cruise.

Yeah. It's a law firm in Massachusetts. We won't say where, but they deal with family law, and they brought us in to help build their team. And also, they're growing so fast that they needed new talent to be able to help handle the growing business. So this was a unique thing. So in part two, we're gonna talk about their story, meaning for you, your clients, the people that you've helped, the people who've experienced your presentation. So how do we tell their story in order to help grow our business? But this one episode, part one, is gonna be about your story. Why? And, Mark, we did a story dig with the founder of the company, and it was an aha. What was really cool if you were there with us on Zoom.

Yes.

You would have seen the firm at the big wooden table, the conference table. Conference table. All of them sitting around wearing slippers. Slippers was part of it. This was so cool. And again, we forget, too. It's the detail. Sometimes when we tell our stories, we might know on stage, too, give the detail to set the setting. But it was just really cool that when. Mark, I'll let you talk about this, but when you did the story dig. And we'll say, we need a name. We'll say Lucy Lawyer. Okay, Lucy Lawyer.

I love that.

Lucy, who started the firm. When you started digging into her story, what was really cool. And what I love is that reactions tell the story. We saw the people sitting around. She was just answering your questions, but we saw people sitting around the table going, wow. And some of it they had heard before, but some of it maybe not quite the way we had dug out of it or you dug out of it, Mark.

Yeah. And by the way, for those who may be new to our podcast, Darren used the phrase story dig. And what that basically means is we ask questions to dig deeper into the story, into the why, the who, the motivation. And when we did that for Lucy Lawyer, our client this week, it was really interesting. There were details about the background behind why she did what she did that. People in the table were like, oh, wow. Their eyes began to widen. One lady was beaming because they hadn't really heard the story to that depth before they understood Lucy Lawyer's credentials, how good she was, how fast they were growing. But the initial motivation. And when she delivered one line. I'm not going to give you her line, but it was a line that we knew was going to be a foundational phrase for her business. And one of her associates made sure he repeated that particular line when we were recapping what they learned during the day. So what happened was one of her associates took her line, what became her signature line, her foundational phrase, and it was one of the keepers he got from the meeting. And the point I want to make is this. When you dig deeper in your story, you have no idea the impact you can have on your potential clients or the people in the room who are part of your team or who may not have heard the depth of your story. It's really powerful. And to see the story come deeper and deeper, the background, the work, the kids, seeing a child, and the impact. Oh, you know, when I was younger, I had that experience. And one of the senior attorneys said he couldn't believe that was her because her background was a mystery to him. He didn't know that part of her story. And it came out. It was like, what I can't see. Oh, yes, I can be that person if I want to be. But that's where I came from. A huge aha. Not only for Darren and me as the facilitators, but for her own associates who didn't know that part of her history. And it was powerful.

Yeah. And again, I want to emphasize that sometimes we take for granted our own stories. They're just facts. They're just parts of our lives. And so what I loved is getting. Because you and I don't know this person very well. So getting to know them, we started seeing the reactions of other people and what they thought was good, and then we even had them raise their hand. How many of you felt that was pretty good? Because part of the story was Lucy Lawyer grew up in a really tough childhood, and she called herself. She was from the trailer parks is what she called. And then that gives an image, a visceral image. But she's like, you know, I might be nice, but the trailer park girl comes out of me. And. And it's like, I want that person fighting for me.

Right? Right.

I want that person fight. I want the person who's nice and kind and loving. But then we get in the courtroom, I want that person. Or in front of the judge, I want that person who's gonna fight. And it was just that imagery that helps separate me because we were talking about, you know, copy on different lawyer websites. We are aggressive, okay? But that white website says it. That white website says it. That just like in a speaker's. Well, this one's passionate. They love what they do, they care about their clients, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Very generic.

Exactly. So how do you stand out? What's your story as to why you want to be a presenter? Where did that come from? Deep into your childhood, maybe. Or maybe there was an inciting incident, as Patricia calls it. What's the inciting incident? And we talked to her about this young girl that she knew of and that she loved and who had these boots and had this raincoat. Yeah, the raincoat. And the long blonde hair and the big eyes. And when she said, I, I don't want to give away the phrase because it's theirs. But when she was like, I don't want any kid to have to experience that. I want to fight for kids. So if I was a parent going through a divorce or something like. But it's not just the house and the assets. It's the kids custody and all these things. When it's realized that the lawyer is pushing for those kids more than anything, that. That I'm in. That's who I want. Yeah, I'm done. I've chosen. So for us as presenters, what is that reason why you do what you do? What was the inciting incident? And sometimes when we tell stories, we forget that there's those moments. So, Mark, what you did in the story dig is the moments that you were pulling out of her and you were asking her some questions. So, Mark, is there a couple, two, three questions that you might have a presenter ask themselves to help dig their story out? Because here's what we're looking for. And, Mark, I'll coin this new phrase. When people were sitting around the table, her team, the Scooby Doo moment. So when we get that reaction, we know we've hit a chord. We know it's visceral. We know it goes way beyond text or why we should hire you. It's the person you are. And I was just so blown away by how much her team cared about her and how much they truly were a family. And for me, the thing that stood out was the slippers they talked about. They've created this environment where they all come into the office and it's a house that they purchased, not a big corporate law firm. Think it goes along with who they Are and what they do and why they do what they do.

Yeah. And questions like, you know, we all know, well, I want to be a speaker because I know this topic. Yeah, but why is that important to you? I began to ask, okay, so law was good, that's nice. But you chose this particular kind of law. It's easy to do, but yeah, you could do other things, but why this particular thing? And then the story came out when I asked what was the reason behind choosing this particular area of expertise, beyond the facility and the so called simplicity. But there must have been something that drives you to keep. You want to do this. And then the story of the children and her childhood came out. And we realized that deep down most of us will do what we do not just for the money or for the fame. There has to be a deeper reason inside of us and we have to actually ask the questions. And sometimes the most annoying question in the world is the word why. Well, why? Well, because it's easy. But why choose that one? What planted a seed in the first place? What would make you choose to become a presenter? Why would you leave Corporate America or Corporate World and decide to be a speaker because you know your topic. That may be true. And we say, passionate, from whence does that passion come? Why is that important to you? And in her case, we understood a child that touched her, a child that made her remember her own childhood, what she grew up in, and what she does not want to go back to. So the question is this. When you present, if you're a pastor, what drives you, what deep down drives you to decide? I choose this life, I choose this profession. And Darren, something interesting popped up from all the people we spoke with during that particular workshop. It wasn't just about finances, it wasn't just about earning income or being in a noble profession. It really went down to relationships. It came down to integrity and character and to purpose. And if all of us ask ourselves seriously why, we will begin to find within ourselves the reasons, the stories, that which drives us to do what we do. That's only the first part of it. The second part is tricky. How do you create the story from that and translate that in a way that appeals to the listener who say, yeah, he or she has been through that. I want to hear what they have to say. Not just they were funny. So I think I'll take them. I don't believe meeting planners. Go strictly on your ability and your technique. I just did a pretty event call with a client, an association out in Idaho. I'm doing A program for them next month in November, actually. And I began to explain to them why I do what I do. I showed them my affinity to their organization, what was important to them. And it was like, wow, nobody has told us all that before. But they understood it wasn't just about getting a paycheck. It really was about what that means to me. For example, it's an education association. And one of the things I labeled was, you know what? Education runs five generations deep in my family. My mother was a schoolteacher. My grandma taught at my elementary school. My aunt taught at my high school, which means I couldn't get away with anything. I spent 20 years, 20 years in schools teaching kids. My son was a schoolteacher in D.C. and they hear that and they say, okay, here's a guy who's not going to give a talk and be motivational, but he really, truly cares about education. His family life, his existence screams that. So I'm going to ask you this as a presenter, as a teacher, as a pastor. What is it about you and your personality, your existence, your being that truly drives you to do what you do? And how can you then tell that story in a way that draws your prospect, your clients, your potential clients to you, to want to work with you, not just because of your technical expertise, but what does your story say that'll make him say, yes, I choose them. That was really require some introspection, some story digging to find out the motivation behind why you do what you do. You do. It was really fun for us to do that for this particular law firm.

Yeah. And think Six Sigma Six Sigma, where they asked, not just why, why, why, why, why, why? Tony Robbins talks about that. Why, why, why? Keep asking why? To get to the real heart of it. And I think that's part of what you did and in that story. Dig. And when I think of that, I remember sitting at an NSA convention in the mid-90s, and this woman, Bobby Gee, was up in front of the room, and it was a little breakout session. He's like, why should anyone hire you? What have you done? And I don't know. My first answer to that was, I don't know, lady. That's why I'm here. So that's good. But now she planted the seed to help me try and figure it out. And it wasn't until years later that I realized my story of becoming a comedian, like, was part of my story of why I do what I do and where that came from. So when you were asking them the questions. And again, part two will Go into what was even more fascinating to us, which was all these people and why they work for that law firm. I thought it was just powerful that I was. I was. I was taking notes. I was like, oh, that's good. I was like, I don't even want to be a lawyer or a paralegal, and I want to work for this firm. But it was because of their stories. And Mark, going back to the little girl, I think I named her Barbara. That's not her real name, by the way. That's right. But Barbara, we'll call the baby. Barbara only shows in a baby. I think of that yellow coat, the yellow raincoat, and she bought her the matching boots. And like that visual image. Now, you can say, you did this for all kids, and that's great. And you don't want to, you know, you want to protect the kids. Protect the kids. That's good. But give us that personification of that one character that I can visualize, and that's going to help make your story stick. So in telling of your story, think of moments, think of characters, the setting. We did one, the secret scenic setting for storytelling Secret a couple episodes ago. But for this, we're just talking about asking you to go deep to use your story to help build your business. And I can't remember the presenter's name, but I know he has one thing. Whenever he sends out an email, his one thing is to get him to watch my demo video. Get him to watch my demo video. Get him to watch my demo video. And what is a demo video? It's telling your story. Telling your story in a short, succinct way of why you. Who have you helped? Why do you do this?

And.

And then what's your plan to help people with this subject and who else have you helped? So just kind of walking people through that. I'm just. I love this stuff. And sometimes even when we were studying it in preparation for this workshop for this client, Mark, I went back to Kendra's book and I listened again, the audiobook, and I was like, I got two more stories about, two more ideas for my own story. And that's what this episode is. We're asking you to revisit. Maybe you've already done this. We're asking you to do it again. Because the better story you have, the easier it is going to open the doors to get the possibility of getting on stage to build your business.

Yeah. And it also made me think. I know in our workshops and our webinars, as a means of acquainting ourselves with the audience and vice versa, we tell our stories. We do our three day workshop with Ed Tate. We all three of us tell our stories that are short versions, maybe two minutes each, but they get an idea of who we are and the background. Yours is brilliant. What? Little kid by the sidelines. Brilliant story. In my story, we show an old black and white photograph from my high school yearbook back in the late 1970s where my classmates wrote about me, always seen in the center of a crowd, relating one of his experiences to his listeners, who have to make sure they have their dictionaries with them for frequent consultations. Ha ha ha. And they laugh at me. But back in high school, my classmates saw that I was a committed communicator who would maintain the love for the language. And I brought that into the fore by what I do every single day. I talk about in my site. You'll see where I had a life, at least illness back in 93, and when I recovered, I made a commitment to excel in communication. I got a second chance at life. And my second chance at life gave me a chance to share what I have. I can't lose it. I can't miss it. So I am passionate because given that second chance at life, I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have to share my messages with the world, to coach people, to do workshops and to teach people what I have learned for the past 26, 27 years. That's part of my story. And you realize now maybe there's somebody who's hearing that say, oh, wow, Mark, I didn't know that about you. Tell me more. You can always get hold of me very easily through straight on my website. My point being, when we share our stories, that could be the catalyst that inspires someone to want to know more about you and. Or it may be just that piece of your representation that gives them the aha. That's why they do what they do. I can relate to that. They are the person I want to work with.

Yeah. Mark, any other insights that came when we were doing the story dig with lawyer Lucy in your mind? One of the things that popped up to me was again watching the table. And you have a great quote that says, it's your story, but it's for them.

It's about you, but it's for them.

There you go.

Yeah. And you mentioned seeing the other people. What we don't often realize is when we tell our story, it brings to mind in the ears and minds of the listeners an experience they may have had and hadn't even thought of. Until you tell your story, it becomes a reminder to them of what they have been through and why your story so much touches them that they want to hear what you have to say. And your story is about you, but it is for them. And we talked about how if your audience, your listeners, your congregation, your prospects can see themselves in your stories and identify with characters in your stories, that gives them buy in not only want to hear from you, you, but to hire you, to engage you, to be a part of your team and to associate with you if they can see themselves in your story. And I think when lawyer Lucy told part of her story, a few of the attendees or team members who were there could see themselves and say, yeah, I was like that when I was a kid too. And that may have been a total mystery because nobody knew it, but because you made your story clear and made it clear for you, but about you. But for them, that kind of connection also magnifies the likelihood of establishing a professional relationship.

One of the other AHAs they got that was great and beautiful to see was the beginning emotion of the characters. When you start to tell the story. That's the relatable part. So when you're telling your why I became a presenter, why I'm passionate about this subject, when you're telling that story, we want to know how you felt before you got that. Aha. Because that aha. When the moment happened, when all of a sudden you committed, when you decided enough is enough, when that inciting incident happened in your life, then all of a sudden things shifted. So we need to see the before emotion. But I love when David Brooks said that we all have different stories, but we all share the same six emotions.

Awesome.

And it's just so important. So look at. Not just when you're telling your why story. How did you feel? How did you feel before the inciting incident? How did you feel after, when you were fully committed? I still remember lawyer Lucy, like in the hallway when she said that the trailer park Lucy came out and I'm like. And you're cheering on because think about it. That's the underdog.

Yeah.

You know, so that's the underdog. And I want the underdog who has fight in him that wins the fight.

Yeah.

And she told us about this or another attorney who she had always been pitted up against.

Yeah. Yeah.

And ended up that even though they argued, they had such respect for each other that he ended up joining her law firm. Like, I love that.

And it's.

It's just. It was Cool to see. And we say this to you because it's worth exploring your story again. But not just your story. Where were you at? What was the emotion that we could relate to? Because here we were talking to lawyers, paralegals, assistants, and we are talking about our speaker stories. But they could still relate. Even though they didn't want to be speakers, they could relate to Mark at the beginning of his story. To me being the guy on the sidelines, they could relate to that because it's the emotion, like David Brooks said.

Yeah. And as Michael Hague, the guru of stories, the Hollywood script consultant, says, the purpose of a story is to elicit emotion. When you tell even you, your business story well, and you can. You can create that emotional connection. We, we know, we talk about this, people will work with you if they like you, if they trust you. And that like. And that trust comes from the rapport you can build when you tell your story to which they can relate.

And consider this, too. They want, like, an event planner who might bring you in. They want to hear your story of where you were that their audience could relate to, to where you get to that victory that their audience wants to get to. What is that for them? And I think if you consider this, if you dive deeper, we highly recommend get a friend, sit down with a friend and grab a glass of wine, grab a cup of coffee and have a conversation and. And let your friend almost interview you. If you, you know, if you can afford a coach, get a Coach. Go to getaspeakingcoach.com. if you know organizations that might want our workshop. Better stories, better business, let us know. This is what we do. This is what we love, and we love having this podcast, to be able to almost debrief from it and share that and help you when you get on stage. But we're talking about using your stories to get you on more stages to create that great video. Even right now, it's hard to get live footage. But what if it was interview style, good lighting, talking to camera, talking just off camera, where you just kind of plot out your story and rethink it and retell it and then edit it down and throw in some of your previous live images as B roll, where it's you talking. And honestly, that's what I'm doing right now. That's where my mind is. So that's why I thought this would be a great subject, because I'm reevaluating. You know, I have my new book coming out, 17 minutes to your dream. So guess what? I had to Tell a different part of my story to help show why I wrote this book, but not just why I wrote this book, why I wrote this book and how it can help the reader. Same thing like when we're dealing with clients. Mark.

Yeah, I think that's really good to know that you can tell your story in different ways in a different medium, but you're still telling your story. And the key, Darren, you just said not just why I do it, but how it can help the reader. So as you build your business for presenting and you know we're not going to say build your business for preachers or pastors, but as you continue to use the skills you have, the point is how can you help the listener, the audience, congregation, those who are going to hear. What you have to say is their mindset and perspective is I'm going to tell my story and share what I have with the goal of helping them. That noble idea, when you dig deep and find out a deeper why in a pretty safe bet, if nothing else, it'll give your potential clients, it'll give your congregants a reason to look at what you have to say and why you say it. Because we have a responsibility and an opportunity. We have the ability if we use all three well. We really cannot only build our business where we can have an impact on audiences small and large, virtual and physical, that can be long lasting and memorable. So I ask you one more time to dig deeper into your story and build your business by telling your story.

Darren, we'll see you next week for part two. Their story.

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