Ep. 141 Dont Memorize...

Hey there, Mark Brown. When I go back to my early days of stand up, this was long before the National Speakers association, long before Toastmasters. I had my little routine. I had to write it out because the courses I went through, the classes I went through, and it was word for word. And I went over it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And I. I was horrible at memorizing. But here was the bigger problem. Mark, you know my statement, if you're in your head, your emotions are dead, right? If you're in your head, your emotions are dead. And what would happen if somebody heckled me like a minute or two minutes into it, I'd have to stop and in my head go back to the beginning and quickly read through in my head the script to get where I was to remember, because the heckle, or even if it was somebody like laughing, it would mess me up. So here's what we say. Don't memorize.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcast with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

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Ready for some powerful presentation? AHAs. Let's dive right in.

Don't memorize. Don't memorize. If you're in your head, your emotions are dead. And if you're not present, if you're not connected to the audience and you're reading a script in your head, there's a problem.

Darren, I got to tell you, I have coaching clients who have memorized 45 minute keynote presentations. I know you're going to go, oh, but I asked them, is this what you want to do? And they're absolutely sure they want to memorize. I don't stop them, I don't change them, because that's where they feel comfortable. But what we don't often realize is memorization is good for your head, but that can also distract you from being present, being really honest, and sharing the emotion that should come out of your presentation. All of us want to tell stories in our presentations. And as our dear friend Michael Haidt, the Hollywood script consultant, says, the purpose of a story is to elicit emotion. It's hard to do that when you yourself aren't feeling the emotions because you're so concerned. Paragraph seven is coming Up. What's my opening line there? And that indeed can and does happen. I will remember this. I will recall back in 1994 when I was competing in the Toastmasters speech contest. And yes, Darren, I do have the VHS videotape to confirm it, even though I know you wanted to get a digitized version in color of that version. But I can remember at times trying to memorize my script. And at one point I got mentally lost, and I physically, in my brain, had to go find the next paragraph and start there. That's because I was memorizing 27, 28 years ago. I didn't understand the difference between memorizing and what you want to talk about today. And I'll let you lead that conversation.

Yeah. If you've ever seen anybody read a speech, whether it's on a piece of paper, on a lectern, or in the back of your eyelids.

Teleprompter.

Yep, or a teleprompter. But if what I mean by the back of the eyelids, if you're thinking it in your brain, reading it off of a script in your brain. But we say, don't memorize, internalize. Don't memorize, internalize. And what's the difference? You know, we want to get it into our bodies, we want to know it. But most importantly, like you're saying, Mark, what's important is the intention and the emotion comes through that. I want you to get this. I'm not just going over words in a row that were well written or not well written, but I want you to get this. A few points to cover today. But the last point is going to kind of bring it all together and come back to this. But, Mark, what do you do now? Any techniques or tips that don't work or work? What does Mark Brown do now?

Well, I want to go back before you even get the memorization to do with the scripting. You made a point earlier about written or not well written. The thing is, very often we write a speech for the eye and not for the ear. We might put words in that we would not normally say conversationally. So the first thing is, when you prepare your script, I recommend that what you write on the script sounds like you in conversation. Here's why. If it sounds like you normally sound in conversation, you almost don't need to memorize it because you're simply telling your story in the way you usually would. So first of all, think about the words you put on the page of your script as you would that normally sound like you're in conversation. It means you're almost forced to memorize the words you say when we engage in conversations. That day, I was very erudite and eloquent. No, I talked too much that day, and my wife let me know it. I don't need to memorize that. It's a truth. So think about the words you select. If it sounds like you, it is easier to simply relate what you have experienced normally, and there's no need to memorize. But for me, memorizing is trying to get all the words in my head. I may rehearse while I'm ironing my clothes or in my car driving, but I want to place myself in the situation I'm talking about. I want to recall and relive the experience. That way, I'm less concerned about the words I have to memorize, but I remember the experience, I recall the conversation, and I simply relate, relive, and express what I've been through. If I'm sharing an idea, where was I when that idea became real to me? What was I experiencing? What was the circumstance? If I can relive all of those things, I'm less concerned about memorizing the right words, but I'm more eager to share from my heart an experience I had that I strongly believe will be a benefit to my audience.

Yeah, and the more like you're saying, you write it for the ear, the more conversational. If it's written in a conversational format, in a conversational tone, it's easier to internalize it.

Yes.

Because if you're trying to memorize big words that you don't normally say to sound eloquent, you'll sound boring. You will sound boring. That's. No. That. That's no good for nobody. So.

Oh, a new sound effect. That it bounce. Okay. Boring.

New sound effect. Yeah, it's just. It's that challenge. So the difference between memorizing and internalizing. So when we want to internalize it, we want to get it in our body, get it where we. It becomes part of us. And I love this by Patricia Fripp. She taught us that what she does is she believes. She goes over her script with movement. She does it on her treadmill. So she's moving to help get it into her body rather than sitting in isolation going over the words by yourself. And I hadn't thought of that. That's why we tap into wisdom. But what can you do so you're not sitting still reading words on paper to get this into your body? Few things that I do. One of my techniques Like, Mark, you and I both did a wedding ceremony. We were the celebrant, which is also not part of my normal conversation words or officiant. Efficient, that is. There you go. What I did is I wrote it out conversationally, how I sound, so it's in my voice. But then I read it into my voice voice memo on my phone.

Oh, nice.

I read it into my voice memo on my phone, and then anywhere and everywhere I went, I played it. And what I tried to do was, like, while I was driving, I tried to match my words as I was saying it, you know, and here and there I get a phrase and then a sentence and. But hearing it over and over again. In the old days, Mark, I used to do the whole speaker under your pillow thing.

Oh, yeah. Don't tell when I tell you this, Darren. Tell no one I tell you this, but there are times I'll put earbud in my ear late at night before I go to bed, and I'll play something on my mobile device so I can hear what's going on in my ear. I've done books that way. I've done scripts that way. I've done music that way. But it's almost inside me when I'm in that moment of getting kind of relaxed and quiet and I can hear my own voice, I can hear my own words. And there are times I'll say, oh, I don't want to do it like that. It doesn't seem like natural. But what happens in that process is you realize, yeah, I am internalizing it almost subconsciously. And I'm again, I don't want to go into psychology. I'm no psychotherapist, psychoanalyst. I'm no psycho anything. I'm no psycho. But it's one method of having it just become internal to you. You almost hear it naturally. And I've actually done that with video as well of other presentations I've done. I've had to go back some months ago and do a presentation I hadn't done in a few years at a school. I spent many, many years doing school presentations, but that stopped back in 2018, maybe. And I got a call to deliver a talk to a school, and they wanted the one I gave, like nine years earlier, but I knew a version of it. And I went back to an old video of me giving that speech, and I spent some time just playing it, going over it again and hearing it again, and remembering what I felt when I told that particular story, how I had an audience interacting. It was gonna be A live presentation, it went very, very well. But going back to the videotape, remembering my movement, my motion, what that meant was important. And by the way, speaking of movement, Darren, when Fripp is on her treadmill, it's in her body. But if my movement is at times in sync with what I'm saying, if I can relive some of those experiences from talking about a conversation with my wife, if I can relive the conversation when I'm rehearsing, I remember it here, but I also re experience it inside my heart, inside my body. So you're quite right about that. And having a recording in your ear can be pretty cool. I'm trying to picture you though with a Bose speaker under your pillow. Since it used to work for Bose.

No, they used to have special pillow speakers that were flat and thin, just hiding it under there. But anyway, so there's many ways to do it. What we want to encourage you to do is to do something better, something different that if it's not working for you, if your method works, then use it, keep using it. Mark. When I was doing the wedding ceremony, what I would also do was I would type it out, I would say it out loud. And what I noticed was eh, that didn't feel like me. So I go in and change it. So the course of saying it out loud got me to go back and change the script so it would be more my word words, more style and like no, this goes at the end of the, that's the punch phrase. So that goes at the end. So I noticed that I edited it maybe five, six, seven times as I was trying to say it out loud. So I didn't just write it down once I'm done now let me internalize it. I write it out once and then I would say it out loud and record it. And I stopped by recording several times and to start over because like it just doesn't feel right. And then I would listen to it again and again. And Mark, you brought up a great point. Listening to like a past performance, like.

A live performance presentation.

Well, the performance of that presentation rather than just with the wedding ceremony. For my sister's wedding, I, I didn't have a past performance. It was brand new content, never done before. We'll probably never do again. So I didn't have that opportunity. But I remember Chance Langton, who was one of my comedy mentors back in Boston and I would open for him. I would drive with him to some of the shows we would do together and he would always listen to his best performance on the way to the show. Here's why you also, it's not just because it's the best and it gets great audience applause. Yes, that's cool, too. But your inflection or the way you deliver certain lines, your energy, enthusiasm, that time that you rocked it, that's a good one to go back and listen to, especially on your way to or just before, something like that. So I thought, great idea, great technique. Now, obviously that's content you've done before, but it also gets you in that same rhythm of that great performance.

That's so true. And what I don't want to miss is you said he would do it on his way to performance. It's like an instant refresher. And what's interesting is when I talked to you earlier about being in a hotel room before a presentation. I'm ironing my clothes. I'm going through it. Going through it right before you deliver can really help give you that boost. Yeah, I've done this before. I've been here. I'm going to bring them to that place in my, in my talk. They're going to really love it. That's really very interesting. And you also said you tweaked your script because you asked an important question. Does this sound like me? It may sound. It sounds almost ridiculous, but really, if we want to get the right words on paper in the script, very often it doesn't sound like us. How many times have we told our coaching clients, pause for a second over Starbucks or Tim Hortons if you're in Canada. Would you really say it that way? And they go, well, not really, but it just sounds nice because you're writing for the eye, not for the ear. We want the authentic you and for you to be authentic. Don't memorize fancy words. Share with us who you are in the moment. And some of the best presenters I've ever seen have been conversational. Their language isn't fancy. And really believe we just spent some time with an individual who gave us, who dropped some knowledge on us from the experience. It was like we sat with Nito Cobain for our podcast. We were like notes, notes, notes, learning wisdom. Just conversation now sounds really, really important. And this is a very, very good idea, having the recording and being in a place where we can relive that. What else might work besides having that audio recording and reliving a past experience? What else works for you, Darren?

Well, last weekend I was in Philadelphia doing for the first time live, my keynote. 17 minutes to your dream So I was very excited. I was also a little nervous. Mark, I'm gonna be honest here, because it's the first time I did it live. I'd done it many times. And it's for me, like, you are a phenomenal writer. I write by giving it, saying it, giving it again, saying it. So I'm always tweaking as I go. So it's evolved many times. But I've always done it with the slides right in front of me in a setting, virtual setting like this. So this is the first time I'm doing it live. All new content. I had one story, my story, my first time on stage. Before that, I used that I infused into it for this audience, and it worked well. But what I did is I went and I had my slides in my room. I went over the slides, like in hyper speed several times because I've changed it so many times. The slides have changed order. So in hyperspeed, in my room, standing up, I would go over, over it again and again and stop. Just like you've seen me do, Mark, stop. Change the slides, add this to the slide, reword the slide. There was just constant tweaking, but going over it, seeing the visuals in the order. You know, Mark, when we teach unforgettable presentations, by the way, we're doing it again, depending on when you listen to this, there's one in the calendar if you're listening today, the day that it comes out, we're doing one next week. So join us for unforgettable presentations where we walk you through and we teach the FRIPP speech model, where she has three major points. I think, Mark, that's also part of the overwhelming problem when people are memorizing is they're trying to memorize all the words. I want to know. Here's my opening. Here's point one, the evidence to back it up. Point two, the evidence to back it up. Point three, the evidence to back it up. So the structure will help you in your internalizing.

That's good. That's good right there.

So when I have my slides, my slides, my branding colors, blue and white with a tad of orange. My slides are white slides with blue letters, but each structure point are blue slides with white letters. This helps my audience, and guess what? It helps me too. Okay, now my brain goes, okay, this is the next point. So I don't worry word for word. When I'm in the moment, I don't worry word for word. But going through those slides and making the adjustments and going through them again, they then Become natural. Now I know whether it was live or online. The B button, my favorite button, renders a side black or blank. So the attention comes to you in a live setting. Now, I do that whenever I'm telling a story. Whenever the slides would be a distraction, I bring the attention to me. So then when you turn the slides back on, the attention goes back to the slide. So it's continuing to engage them by switching up where their focus is. So I'm controlling their attention. My point is the slides help me with my content. Now, the more I do it, the fewer slides I'm going to have. So I use the slides almost as my bullet points. Make sure you cover this so the slide doesn't say everything I'm going to say. It's just that reminder to cover this. But I'm saying it in my own words so there is no memorization because it's just, here's what you need to talk about. Yeah, okay. Here's what you need to mention. Here's what you need to mention. So it's almost like a highlight or like in the podcast, it's snippets of my own presentation, but it's reminding them and reminding me the order in which I chose to do them. But I'm not doing it word for word.

Mark, how I say it is this. Here's my mark ism. Let your slides be your guides. Let your slides be your guides. It's exactly what Darren just said. He let his slides guide him through. Didn't need to know exactly word for word. And listen, if you truly understand, and you should understand fully your content, you may not need word for word representation of everything you have to say. That being said, I want to honor those people who really believe Baron Mark, you don't understand. I am safe. I feel safe if I know exactly what I'll say word for word for word for word. And I'm not going to knock you for that. If that works for you, then bless you. But I do. I would encourage you, if you are going to learn it word for word, don't just learn it word for word. Let each of those words, every phrase and sentence, be meaningful to you. So when you share those words from a place of authenticity and a place of passion, it won't come across as somebody who's reading a news report or narrating for a video. It comes across as somebody who is really sharing from their heart with passion what they believe, what they've experienced, their humor, their main points. All of that should flow forth from you in A meaningful way. And you can do that if you are going to go word for word by doing as Fripp said. Darren said, move your body, internalize it that way. So every movement means something. And there may be other ways to include movement that can help you to remember what you have to say. Not just to memorize it, but to internalize it. Any ideas how that could work for us, Darren?

Talk about a setup. Mark.

Hey, man, I love you, buddy.

Well, when I was working on my world championship speech and Mark was coaching me, I had heard the idea from Tony Robbins about anchoring nlp, anchoring a spot on the stage. What was super helpful to me working on this brand new piece of content, seven minute speech. I took my key phrases or my vignettes and I printed them out on cardstock. And each of my vignettes I placed at a certain position on the stage and I set up my metaphor that here's where I am, here's where I want to go. And then each vignette walked me slowly across the stage to get to that key point. So on my printout of the yellow car, on the yellow card stock, I had VNI valuable negative information. Robert Goddard story Mom and dad. When I went home to tell my mom and dad, mom, dad, I want to be a comedian. The step after the Ouch. The woman who covered my mouth. So each little vignette I placed on the stage, and then here's part of the key. I would go to that spot. So even if it was in my bedroom, I would go to that spot, deliver that line. If I forgot which one this is, I would look down. That would be my little reminder. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here it is. Okay, now I move over to the next spot, tell the next vignette, the next spot. So I had those cheat sheets, literally. But eventually I stood there enough, I just knew what it was. I remember getting one time to practice on a big stage at my church, in a church hall. And I had my dad just randomly point out spots. So now I wasn't memorizing the order. I was definitely anchoring even deeper those spots on the stage. So now I would stand in that spot. I got it. It would trigger it. I stand in that spot. I got it. One other thing that I did, that was an interesting technique. I don't know where I came up with it, but I would play the song Simply the Best by Tina Turner. I wanted to serve my audience the best. And I would blast it on my acoustic wave music system. Blast it. While I was working on My speech. So it was an intentional distraction. It forced me to focus on what I was saying and block out everything else. And that was super helpful. And I think if you remember right, Mark, it was Ryan Avery.

Ryan Avery, yep.

Who had people, when he was practicing in Oregon intentionally heckle him while he was practicing for that same idea to eliminate the distractions that nothing's gonna. Because guess what? A distraction is gonna happen. Something could happen. Like the microphone falling. Microphone battery packs falling off your waste in the middle of your most important line. But the point is, with that intentional distraction, it forces you to focus and go deeper. So in the moment, if there's any distractions, it's less likely to mess you up.

And that's a really cool thing and a key thing, a key concept to grasp. If you can stay focused and share what you have amidst all kinds of distractions. You're not thinking about. Next line, next paragraph. Well, how do I begin? Because you have internalized by rehearsing in a quote unquote, hostile distracts in a built environment. You know that when the time comes, if a fire alarm goes off, if an attendee's mobile phone rings, of course, attendees, mobile phones never rings during your speech. Never ring during your speech. Right, duh. If somebody drops a trade because they forgot to hold the meal service while you were presenting, ask me how I know. Are you thrown off by that? Somebody begins to sneeze, Somebody has to run outside. These are all real life scenarios in speaking, and particularly for those of you who are Toastmasters, this particular episode is being aired in the middle of Toastmasters contest season as districts are now having their contests. These things can happen if you're giving a presentation at a conference. Not a contest, a contest, a conference presentation. Many of our listeners do get chances to speak at conferences, and these things do happen, by the way. There are times you'll get a chance to do a keynote or a mainstay speech. It may often happen at a breakfast event, a lunch event or a dinner event. And at meal events, the likelihood of these kinds of distractions can be very, very high. Unless you are adamant about no meal service during a presentation. And be honest, honestly, we can't always get the green light on that sometimes. I'm sorry, your talk is during dinner. It's going to happen there. You're going to hear glasses clinking and Darren. For those who are listening, Darren's head is in his hands right now. Oh my gosh, how many times do we battle that one? Darren, please. No meal service, no coffee service. But they do it anyway. These are the fact. These are real life scenarios. But if you have internalized your content, you know, where was I? Because something happened. This is real world speaking need to be aware of. So these techniques of planning where to block is good. Now, there's one caveat here where you plan your anchoring and you're blocking on the stage. Be very aware that sometimes you may get a chance to deliver a presentation at a conference event. And you find out you're giving your keynote at a dinner event. And you are standing at a lectern with two long tables, one to your right, one to your left. And you have about 4 inches of space to move to tell your stories. Been there before, Darren. Been there. Yep.

It's a tiny anchor. You have to put a tiny anchor down. I'll take one half a step this way, literally.

Or you may say, if I turn here 45 degrees, that's going to be home with mom and dad. That's going to represent. And if you are wise, you will check the venue out in advance to get a lead on what you will encounter. And in cases like this, if you have blocked and anchored certain spots you can then create within that room. Okay, that light fixture over there is going to be my anchor for this particular spot. Where that camera is in the back or where is a coat rack or coffee service, I don't know. But you have to be creative. You don't lose your anchor. You can still use your anchor and not depend on memorization because you already internalized your content, Darren.

Yeah. And I think the last important point in my mind is that we are talking about writing it out word for word, but making sure it's conversational, working on going over it. But now here's the key. Once you get to the moment in the presentation, you gotta let it go, let it go, let it go. You gotta forget the words and be present. You know my question I ask myself before I take the stage? Am I present? Am I right here, right now? And again, if you're in your head, your emotions are dead. So even though you might have worked on the wording, you've gotta go with right now what's in your heart. And get those points of wisdom across with the evidence that you can remember. If you need the trigger in the slide, give yourself a trigger in the slide. But don't write out the whole thing on the slide because you don't want them reading your slides. Just a trigger for you. And as I internalize this new concept, new keynote, get it more into My body. I'll be able to cut out some of the slides, but for now I'm kind of cheating. But I want to make sure I get it right. Right. But it's not word for word. I let it go. Mark?

Yeah. Question for you, Darren. This came to my mind a while ago with your comedy background. I was watching a couple of comedians on TV this week, on YouTube this week just to get a couple of laughs. And I noticed there are two different videos, one comedian, same routine he was doing. However he was able to interact with his audience and not lose anything he had prepared to deliver. And sometimes in our presentations we will get an audience to react or to respond to what we have to say. But you'll notice that when you internalize your message, any interaction, any comment doesn't throw you off, it actually helps feed you because you are not so tied to the words that you are saying. Your concern is, am I serving my audience well? And in the middle of the interaction or the quote unquote distraction or deviation, it doesn't matter because the material you want to share with the emotion you want to share it and the value you want to give is still going to come out because you're not tied to word for word on a script. Go back to what Darren said earlier. What is my intent? Your intent is to serve. And you take these techniques and internalize your message, then you're close to delivering an unforgettable presentation.

Darren, don't memorize. Internalize. Get the words into your body, into your mind. If you do write them out, give it some emphasis on the right words. Otherwise if you emphasize on the wrong words, it's not going to sound normal. Stop.

Stop. You're killing me. You're killing me. You're killing me.

Yes. You gotta be in the moment. You gotta have fun. So please don't memorize. Internalize. Internalize. Mark Brown, take us home my friends.

Love you all. Don't memorize. Internalize. Be your best and be unforgettable.

We'll see you next week where we go deeper into customization.

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