Ep. 150 The Depressed Motivational Speaker

Hey there, Mark Brown.

Hey, Darren. You sound kind of down, man. What's going on?

The Depressed Motivational Speaker.

The Depressed Motivational Speaker. That's a great way to start a podcast, right? With two guys.

Feel the love your feel the love, feel the energy. But the truth is it happens. We have times when we're down. We have. We're people, we. We have loss in our lives. We have financial mistakes, we have business mistakes. We have unexpected health issues that happen to us.

We have challenges. We are human. That's correct, yes.

Believe it or not, we are human. What do you do about that? How do you handle that?

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? Difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, AHAs, let's dive right in.

So, Mark, every year I re release an article called the Depressed Motivational speaker and I tell a true story of a time when I was down. I made some financial mistakes. I took our event lady of the Champs and I thought, ooh, I'm gonna move it to the summer. You know, we'll get a better deal at the hotels in Vegas and.

Yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah. It did not quite work as planned.

Did not work as planned. I also realized for our, for Toastmasters, nsaers, National Speakers association members, that the national convention is in the summer. So me and my brilliant ideas and I just, I posted it, I had, I posted a literal picture that I made some business mistakes. I told my team, I don't know if I'm going to hit payroll next week. I actually got a termination notice because I had gone through my savings. You know, I made some mistakes. And as a result of that, I think it's just such. Such a powerful thing to talk about for you and me because I think a lot of people think they're the only ones. It doesn't happen to them. You know, everybody else is so positive and I know a lot of positive people, but they're not always positive. And so I thought it might be cool to just kind of have a conversation about what do you do when. When life isn't great? And yet you, you, Mark Brown, are about to be introduced. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage the fabulous world champion of public speaking, Emmy Nominee. Give it up for Mark Brown.

Yeah, right. We laugh about it now, but the truth is, we talk about delivering unforgettable presentations, and not everyone who hears this is a professional. But the fact is, because we are human, there are times we have the responsibility to deliver a presentation right after we hear some bad news or right in the middle of a difficult season of our lives. It could be our own health concern, the health concern of our loved ones, parents, siblings, even our children, as Darren said. He mentioned going through a financial reversal. And I recall going to a convention some years ago right after my daughter. My teenage daughter's car was stolen. And it may not seem like a big deal. It became a case. I had to go to court and testify it was my car. There was other charges involved when they did find the vehicle. But I am on the platform, and I have to bring it for the audience. In the back of my mind, my poor kid, how difficult it was for her. But I have to push it aside. And that sounds like, yeah, you know, the show must go on showbiz. The show must go on. Da, da da da da da da da. But in reality, if any of you have ever been in a position where it was even a toastmaster's assignment and people were depending on you, a youth organization chosen a house of worship, and you were facing your own trial, you realize that not because you want to be unforgettable, but the sense of responsibility dictates. You know what? I can get through this, and I will go through this. I can't begin to imagine what ministers, pastors, rabbis have to go through to deliver new presentation every week when life also faces them. Smack you in the face. And I agree, Darren. It is something that seems to be kind of unorthodox and off the beaten path, so to speak. But if we're going to be honest and real about what it takes to be unforgettable, we have to also understand, some days it's not your best game day, but you got to bring your A game anyway.

Yeah, I remember I had a big breakup. I just found out relationship I was in wasn't working. And again, I don't dare compare my challenge with your challenge listening to this. These are just our stories, and your situation could be way worse. Absolutely. But we have to deal with whatever our situation is. So I find out, you know, fly through town and bang, have a relationship end. And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. And you're like, I'm trying not to, like, cry when you're a humorist.

Right.

You're a humorist.

Funny that, like, yeah, comedian, maybe this.

Will be funny, you know, and. But again, we bring this up because it's real. It's something. If you haven't yet, you will, you know, and just because my blood type is B positive.

Hey, bad puns are my domain.

What are you doing? Hey, when I'm around you, it makes me punnier. But the truth is we've gotta. This is the time when, you know, I love Stagetime University. I love that we have that family of people who are a community, that they are brothers and sisters. They encourage each other. People in nsa, people in Toastmasters. We gotta reach out to those people who get it, who will help lift us up, who will help get us back on track. We need that community that understands if your family are not speakers, presenters or pastors, they could be supportive, but they really don't understand to the depths of what we do, what we have to do, what we want to do. And, oh, and, oh, by the way, somebody has cancer. Maybe you have cancer. I remember Mark, when my comedy mentor, Dave Fitzgerald, when he had cancer and he was talking about it and he pulled me aside one night and he was going through chemo, he was going through radiation, and he just said, you know what? The only time I don't feel pain is when I'm on stage making people laugh.

Now, Darren, I needed to ask you to pause right there because it's very easy for that sentiment to sound counterintuitive. Wait, you're going through all of this and you gotta go make somebody else laugh? How is that even possible? But what he said kind of speaks to his mindset when I'm making other people laugh. And it makes me think, Darren, that you already gave us two tips. You said, first of all, no, it's not if, but when it's going to happen. And secondly, he said, you need to reach out. Yes, to people you love, but reach out to individuals who are doing what you do because they are more intimately aware of how the struggle can affect you. So in essence, you're saying reach out to your tribe, but now you're saying, Sue Dave is an element of service that's involved in this. You kind of want to give a little more detail on that.

You've probably heard the advice before. I've heard it several times. But if you're down and depressed, one of the things that can be helpful, again, like you said, it sounds counterintuitive, is to volunteer somewhere. Volunteer to serve the homeless, volunteer at a service club, volunteer to help kids when you're being of service, it takes some of the burden off of you. Well, what more service can we be than serving our audience? Especially if this is our lane and this is what we choose. Look, I'm not saying don't volunteer. Absolutely do. Go volunteer the day before because it will help at least lift you up a little bit more and then you can do it in steps. So do volunteer. Do be of service in your community, in your family, to people who. People who can do nothing for you just to help get to change that trajectory. And please shut off the tv. Especially if, like, hey, that's one of my issues. You know, I kind of have this like TV addiction. And I love true life crime shows. I love Dateline, Forensic Files, csi. I had to literally catch myself after I was recovered from COVID I still was in low energy mode and it was hard to get off the couch. I would do my minimal of work, but it was hard to get off the couch. And I realized I had to make it inconvenient for me to focus on negative. So I had somebody help me move my big television set out of my bedroom. So now I'm not falling asleep, which I was falling asleep watching the news, watching csi, watching something that has that, you know, you can't be listening to murder and killing and all of that, you know, look, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying, and this is again, for me, I knew I couldn't be listening to that for five hours or six hours. And then be happy and be positive. Look, I mean, the hero wins in the end. They catch the bad guys. But at the same time, you're still those. Those words are still getting into your brain. And that's a lot different than you feel when you're listening to your favorite music or listening to whatever you do that lifts you up.

Yeah. And you know, Darren, I have long been. Again, for me, this is Mark Brown speaking here. I've long been an advocate of. You know what? Sometimes when I turn the TV off or even watch the news, because all too often the news is not uplifting. I think the news is designed to. In many ways I'm going to get some flack for this. But I think in some ways there is a sensationalist piece to the news is also what's the latest bad news, how many shootings, how many murders? And when some good news comes along, it's called a human interest story or a heartwarming story. And no, here's Darren, it's the exception.

Right, right, right.

It is a human interest. It's so heartwarming. Oh, how cute. And it is the exception to what we normally hear. We've got wars going on all over the world right now. We're in a country where there's clearly conflict. We have been divided for at least eight years, 10 years maybe. And there's always going on in the news. And when you're dealing with your own pain, that can only magnify it. And this may sound corny or silly, but I can remember turning on my TV again. Opposite of what Darren said, but watching looney tunes from 1948. Something to make me laugh. So maybe. And we're not psychologists. I'm no psychotherapist. I'm no psychoanalyst. I'm no psycho anything, and I'm no psycho. Okay, wow.

Let's not jump to conclusion.

Oh, thank you, buddy. But I found what can I attach myself to that's going to lift me up? And for individuals listening to this, that could be a plethora of things, people, activities. But we need to be lifted. And if we can be lifted, then we can turn around and lift others. Sometimes, to be really honest, it may require your circumstance, may require you to consider not delivering that presentation because of where you are, but you always want to consider, how can I best serve my audience? And sometimes going outdoors, going for a walk, appreciating nature and fresh air, sometimes just to get out of your cycle, your routine, your normal behaviors. Just realize I'm alive, I'm breathing, and every chance I get, I can serve someone. And maybe I won't be unforgettable as I would like to be, but they won't forget that I came and I served and I did something for my audience. And I don't even know why I went there, Darren. But like I said, I know I live in times when I'm gonna be really honest. Okay. I don't think I've told you this story, Darren, but in 2017, my father passed away. He was 84. And we knew he was passing, he was dying. And we got to say goodbye to my dad in Florida. We drove down, said goodbye, and the funeral. Had a problem with his internment. I'll just say that. So when I left to come back to Georgia, he had not been interred. The internment was scheduled a few days later. I was in Canada delivering a presentation at a conference at the very same time they had the internment in Florida. My brother, my only brother was there. My only sister was there. My sister's ex husband was there. My brother and My brother's wife was there, small group at the graveside and they decided to live stream my father's interment on Facebook so I could see it and my wife could see it, which was best she could do. And in the pandemic, many goodbyes were livestreamed for family members who couldn't travel. So I got a taste of that back in 2017, November. I'm watching this thing and they're saying the prayers and singing the songs. He isn't quite interred yet. And I hear, I'm outside a conference room at a conference hotel in Canada and I hear my introducer begin to introduce me while I'm watching this ceremony take place. And the timing was such. Please help me welcome, as you said, Emmy nominee, world champion of public speaking, Mark Brown. I hear those words, of course I'm going to make the dramatic entrance through the door, you know, and come in. But it wasn't the dramatic entrance. It was me hoping I would have time to see the internment. And the truth is, I did not. I had to shut my phone off before the last final goodbye to my dad. Go in that room and talk about how to be your best and elevate your excellence and inspire this audience. It was not enormously easy. What I'm going to say to end the story may sound like a brag, but this is what happened. I delivered that day in November of 2017 and one year later, the company president. It was a breakout session. And within the next six months, the company president called and said, your message was so powerful for next year's convention, we want to make it the keynote so everybody who attends can hear that message.

Wow.

And he brought me back the following November for the entire event as a closing keynote speaker to send them on their way because I delivered on the day. Again, this may sound like a brag, but trust me, it is not. I just knew in that moment, in my pain, in my grief, I had to serve my audience. I'm not saying I'm a better person than anybody else who's hearing this. I'm just sharing my story from my heart and from my experience. And the deeper truth is, for several months I could not even talk about what happened that led to the mix up with my father being interred later. I couldn't even talk about it. It was that painful for me. But by God's grace, and I'm not going to try to convert anyone to my faith, but I believe by God's grace, I was able to deliver in that specific moment at that crucial point in time in my family's history and still deliver well enough for the company president himself to say, come back next year. And we want everyone to hear this message. Now, this may be for somebody, encouragement, but I will say this. If your heart and mind says, who can I serve amidst my own pain? It might surprise you how well you can do, because none of us knows for sure of any presenter who has touched us, who has inspired us, what he or she or they may have been going through in their life when they did it. But I want to encourage you when you have a difficult situation, but you have the responsibility to deliver. Yeah. Surround yourself with people who know what it's like to be in your shoes and have a heart of service and take as much care of yourself as you can and serve. Because you never know when you serve through your pain, what impact you may have. And that could truly, truly make you and your presentation unforgettable.

Thank you, Mark, for sharing that. We remember those moments, too, because they are so challenging. I mean, I remember I was flying through the Delaware airport that weekend. I was speaking in Chicago, coming back through Delaware, and there was a problem with my seat. And I remember this is just in the airport. I remember coming up to the ticket counter telling the woman I was supposed to fly through Delaware because the woman I was dating lived in Delaware. And I went to the ticket counter in Chicago. I was like, I need to change my flight. And there was a long line of people, and she's there at the counter. You know, she was trying to help me, but she had a lot going on. And she's typing away, typing away. And she's like, why is it you have to change and not go through Delaware? And I'm like, dating broke up with me, and she was seeing somebody else, and. And the lady could feel it. And this is about connection, too. The woman could feel it. She let go of her stuff. The line of people all of a sudden, kind of gave me some grace. And she came over, she got me Kleenex, she hugged me. Oh, wow. And she's like, all right, let's figure this out. I mean, I think when you're real and authentic, that people can, you know, when you're not trying to mask it, but just let it be and serve and put on the. Like you're saying, the heart of service. Mark, I just want to read this. So this idea came from this article that always gets the best feedback and the most responses when I put it out. And I put it out every once in a while just because of that, and I know somebody needs to hear that. So I'm just gonna read this. You can check it out. Darrenlecroy.com and put in the search Darren Lacroix, the depressed motivational speaker. And I said being down and depressed affects us on stage and off stage and affects the people around us as well. You know, we're not doing anything in a vacuum. People can tell us to pick up our chins, but our feelings can still be down. I'm not a depression expert and I can't say that I've ever been diagnosed with deep depression. But I feel like I have some experience and I even had been seeing a Christian counselor. There, I said it, I admit it. We all need a little help now and then. Do you want to know the funny part? What makes me laugh? I was scheduled to speak on Saturday in Las Vegas. Vegas, Mark. At a happiness conference.

Wow.

Lol. Life's irony or God's humor. But think about it. How can you talk about getting unstuck if you've never been stuck? Although it may be challenging, I'll figure out a way to use this experience to help other people. After all, my blood type is B positive. Let me be super clear. I'm down, but I'm not out. My intention in written now. I was writing this article when I was feeling it. And so you, when you're feeling something, you write differently. That's why I didn't update the article or anything like that. I just took out a few time references. But I wrote it when I was there and I believe that's why it resonates with people. Because I didn't try and be in a happy place and write about being down or depressed. I said my intention in writing this article is not to have you feel bad for me. It is to let you know that you are not alone.

We never know who in our audience has gone through that. And I said before, we never know who we may have heard deliver during their season of difficulty. And they blessed us, they served us, they helped us, they guided us. And we found them memorable because in that moment, the mindset that says, you know, I gotta serve some people. It can be so powerful. I can't say anything more. Darren, I'm so happy you posted the article and decided to talk about this today because it's real for all of us. And I haven't told my father's burial story, internment story to too many people, certainly not publicly. Well, now I have. So it'll be heard all over the world. Listeners, I'm okay With that now I am. Because I realized that I was able, and I didn't think about, about it back in, in 17 and 18, I was able to serve amidst such a pointed moment in my life. I mean, physically, I've got my mobile phone in my hand and I'm hearing them announce and I tried to watch. I'm hoping I can see it. And then I said, please welcome Mark Brown. And I just had to just click and put the phone. Yeah, his phone. Well, actually my, my physical phone is like here, I'm watching the thing. Yeah. And then it's like, okay, click, audio off. Put it away. How to be your best.

Wow.

But I had to be my best for them in that moment. And for me, if for nobody, but for me, that's an unforgettable experience. And clearly for the president of the company, it was pretty decent talk as well. So I want to encourage everyone, as Darren says, it's not if, but when you're gonna get hit with something when it's time to go on stage. And the old saying is, the show must go on. And in many ways, in many a sense that is true. But you can and we can and we will go on and deliver. And we just don't know the impact we can have in a positive, positive sense.

Mark, you said something too. I wanna go a little deeper on. Every time you're in front of an audience, everyone is going through something. They're smiling on the outside. But now some people, some situations are easier to distance yourself from or compartmentalized because they're at a convention or conference with their buddies. So it's easy to get distracted. But make no mistake, every time you get on stage, someone, most people have some level of pain or hurt, which is why, as I say, I love the phrase, I learned it from Terry Paulson. And I love reminding people we are merchants of hope. We are merchants of hope. It is that hope that keeps people going. And part of our job, this is what we do, is to actually bring hope to people so that even though they're broken, they can function as their whole because they have hope.

And I cannot do anything to put an exclamation point to that other than to reiterate, friends, it's going to happen. But remember, it's okay. You reach out to those who know where you are, who are in your field of expertise, and share with them and with your family, find ways to serve. Take care of yourself, because self care is not selfish. And remember that when we have that opportunity, we can share hope with the audience. And if you may feel like a depressed motivational speaker, or depressed professional speaker or depressed speaker, bottom line is, you and I are communicators. We are speakers. And if we maintain that sense of heart and share that hope, we can and we will be Unforgettable.

If this has resonated with you or you know someone who needs this message, please pass this episode along because you are not alone.

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