Ep. 154 Panelist Part II Our Experience

Hey there, Mark Brown. You and I were just on a panel. We did an episode last week about being a panelist. Well, you and I just did panelists. We were panelists. We did panelists, yes, but separately.

Not the same panel. Not the same panel. Separately. But we were both on panels.

Yes, different panel. Ling. Same room. Oh, boy. It's gonna be one of those podcasts.

I know.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time, Stage time, Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

All right, Mark Brown, you and I were both on different panels. I'm not going to mention the company slash association that I did the panel for, because I'm going to get real and I'm going to go deep. But first, there's some good things that did happen in the panel that I was on. And Mark, I assume that same thing happen for you too.

Well, what kind of cool is. I want to. I want to blindside you. Okay, I'm going to. I pulled up the notes from our previous podcast on panels. I'm going to kind of go some of these notes. I'm going to compare my experience and hopefully you will join me on this against what our notes said to expect and to do. And I think we'll find this to be not only interesting, but maybe in some ways entertaining as well. But what for me, I had. I had a good experience being on the panel. And one of the benefits for me is when I have co panelists who not only have expertise, but I know them, and when they're your friends, that's easy. And we didn't really talk about this last week in our panel discussion. Edit our panel discussion. See what I did there?

Oh, boy. Gonna have to get the sound effects out.

Thank you for the trombone. But there is certainly an advantage that you have when you know your host, your moderator, and you know your fellow panelists well. And I was blessed in that I did know the other two panelists. In fact, we had agreed beforehand that we would all be on that panel together. So much so I didn't reveal this in our previous episode, Darren, but. But the event organizer had considered having four panelists and we were able to collaborate and give them the Wisdom of having only three of us. Based upon the breadth of our experience, the time that we had, we were able to show the event planner that having a four panelist would make it very difficult for each of us to have our comments, to answer questions clearly and then field questions from the audience as well. So, plus, number one for us was, I was familiar with, I knew, and I already had relationships with my fellow panelists to make our job easier. I don't know what it was like for you, but that particular organization's event and how that may impact your performance or the outcome.

Yeah, I think it was really cool that I did know the other panelists. We. I did respect them. I did learn from them. I learned some new ideas in the panel itself. So you can do that. But I think what's important, one of the. I know we're talking about good things that happen, but having the right people on the panel. And like you said, this was a bonus. There was three panelists. I think four or five can be a little overwhelming. And then you don't really go deep enough. And again, just my preference and the experience that I had. We had just three, and it was perfect. We covered an hour. It was a great flow of connection comments, diving into different experience and different perspectives.

Yeah, well, the cool thing is knowing you had an hour to work on this. Now, I recall six years ago at lady and the Champs when I was asked to be the moderator of the professional women's panel. We had. I think we had four panelists, but we had allocated enough time at that conference event at least 90 minutes. So being aware of the intent, we said last week, ask organizers the objective and intent of the panel. Being aware of the intent and the time frame that they had for it. We agreed that three would have been great. And that made it a very good experience, certainly in terms of time, but also in terms of the relationship as well. That was definitely a plus for us.

Yeah. Choosing the other panelists is, I think, critical. I didn't have any role in that. But the people who were chosen, it was a diverse group. We had fun. We knew each other, we respected each other. And Mark, I know after we're going to talk about lessons learned, but less lesson learned, having the right people and having the connection is important. So because like you said, we knew each other, we respected each other, we kind of edified each other. Even though we didn't plan on it, it was natural, it was real, which made it a better discussion.

That was complimentary. So knowing your fellow panelists is also A plus can help you to have a good experience. So I'm glad I was able to do that. Of course. Now, we mentioned last week that you should speak with the moderator in advance in person or by phone. Well, in my particular case, that was not possible to be. To be in person because we're in different parts of the world. And that, of course, you want to give grace to. But it's important to have that conversation with the moderator before. And in our case, it was virtual. There was even email involved, but there was more than one contact. So that was also a plus and a positive for me as an experience that I gained to help us as panelists and moderator, really, as a team, when you think about it, to serve our audience well.

Yep. No, I keep saying this over and over, but the choice of the people and the intent of the people who are chosen on the panel, because we all had that intent to deliver a world class panel. To deliver a world class panel, knowing our audience and knowing what they needed and knowing what their normal mindset is, to kind of gear them away from that. So I think not just the right people, but the right intent with all of the panelists. I think that can't be overlooked. And that's why having that conversation ahead of time. Mark, I'm going to be on another panel live later this week.

Oh, cool.

With our buddy Tom Pfeiffer. And this is a panel of authors. And so I saw the other people who were advertised. I didn't know them. I reached out to one of them. We had a great conversation yesterday. And I know that that conversation is going to help set up the conversational panel because I learned a lot about her, she learned a lot about me. I did a little story coaching and she was blown away just having a conversation. But I know now we have a better connection. So that will come out, that will flow into the actual panel session.

Well, I will tell you, Darren, that is a point I failed to make last week in our original panelist discussion because the last two panels I've been on, I knew the fellow panelists, but you just said I did not know one of them. So I reached out to that panelist and to build that relationship, which means this. You can't depend. You would like to, but you can't depend on the organizer or the moderator to say, okay, hey guys, let's get together now. They should. But if that does not happen, it behooves you as a panelist to at least reach out to your fellow panelists and don't wait for them to call you. You be proactive, you take the initiative and you meet with them, call them, is there in the same town, visit with them, have coffee or tea or whatever suits you, but at least begin to build rapport and the relationship so that way you don't enter the panel cold again. I didn't have to do that because the last two times I found that I was quite familiar with, already in a relationship with and pretty good friends with my fellow panelists.

Yeah. And taking that time serves the audience. It also serves your comfort level for you being on the panel. Whether you're afraid, a little nervous a lot nervous, panic stricken, whatever level that is, it brings you down a notch because now you've already got that rapport with that other person. And I was talking to her. She had a couple of dogs in the background. We were talking via Zoom, you know, years ago, we didn't have Zoom that we could actually have that. Even though it's not literal face to face, in a way, it's virtual face to face, which still goes a long way and. And creating that connection, creating that respect, understanding the accomplishments each other have and that they're different, which that's what gives the power to the power to the panel. Give the power to the panel, man. Give the power.

I'll find a way to put it in my notes. Give power to the panel. Yeah, yeah. But like I said, and I appreciate your pointing that out, because if you do not at least have a phone call or a Zoom or even an email exchange with the other players, it could be problematic. No, I didn't have that experience. Maybe others of you have had a case where somebody didn't show up or somebody could not be there and it left you uncomfortable. That could be. That could make for a difficult or a less easy event. If you're unsure who's beside you, what are they talking about? What do they think? I don't even know who they are. Their personality. It could make some people very uncomfortable being in that situation. I'm not sure how I would handle that, but it's worth noting. Yeah.

Let's move on to some of the lessons learned from the experience. One of my lessons learned was not everyone has that world class mindset that I do. Not everyone thinks that way. And that was my bad. I can't put that on someone else. So I sent an email and I'm just being transparent to the person who was the moderator. And I was a little direct with my intention for the audience. However, this other person did not have that Commitment. And I think sometimes good. This person has had experience before. And Mark, I was all excited. I was like, hey, we just did a podcast on this. And I put that in the notes and saying, hey, if you're interested, you might check this out. Not knowing the person's experience well, it came across to the other person as offensive because, are you telling me how to do something? I was trying to be polite, fully helpful, and yet, ouch. I kind of overstepped my bounds carefully. I was trying to be professional. I was trying for the outcome. However, this person has done this before, but we don't know at what level. That was a big aha for me, that because they've done it before, they may not have the full commitment. Because I was surprised, I opened up the communication. I wanted to talk ahead of time, even if it was via email or zoom. A phone call would be even better. But that didn't happen. Moving to another lesson learned. Mark, you know, I love improv. I like not knowing the questions ahead of time. Really, I enjoy that because it keeps me on my game. However, lesson learned. I was sent the questions ahead of time and five of them, three of the five, I got nothing. Like, I didn't even know. I would not have known in the moment how to respond. So I'm glad I had them ahead of time. I could have done some work. But I did say and replied saying, hey, these three I have nothing on. And I did. To my credit, I don't want to take credit, but to my credit, I said, I don't really have good answers for these three questions. If you choose to answer them or ask them, I will be a team player. I will do it to the best of my ability. But I don't know what this means. And it was someone from another culture who, in their culture, it might have made perfect sense. And yeah, in my culture, I don't have a clue. So I didn't. I'm glad. In this case, I was glad I was given the questions ahead of time to at least say to the moderator, okay, I don't have much on this. If you choose to go this way, no problem. It's not going to set me up. It was a time lesson learned. It's good to see the questions ahead of time now, spontaneously. I hope a few come up that aren't. And the questions, when we actually did it, they weren't asked. So I'm glad I pushed back a little for the good of the audience.

Yes, yes.

I would have just stepped back and say, I'm not even sure what that means and given it to the other panelists, but I think I was speaking for all of us. But again, I don't know. Lesson learned.

What was cool about that is you were willing to defer to the other panelists because you trust their expertise in that area. And we did say in our podcast last week, one of our notes was, you want to ask the moderator, how can I best serve the audience? And if we are going to be honest as panelists and say, look, we are covering a topic, I am in that ballpark. But if you go down the third baseline and I'm not good at baseball, bad idea. But if you take that particular route, that's not an area where I feel strong in. I know panelist number three, Betty is an expert at that, so I'll play along. But I really would defer to her because that's her area of expertise within our subject matter. I think you handle that really well. And even though you said, I want to be spontaneous, I want to wing it, you're glad in that particular, particular case you did have the questions, because it could have been very, very difficult or at least awkward for you to say, wow, well, gee, I don't know. So look at the benefit. Always be aware of the benefit of getting some of these questions ahead of time, even if you like to be spontaneous and extemporaneous, as in the king or queen or the pooh, the grand guru of table topics for those who are in Toastmasters.

Yeah, it was an interesting lesson, and now I will always want those questions. I should have listened to our own session on panelists where we say, ask them for the question. So I'm glad he did that because it helped me serve the audience.

Yeah. Something else, a lesson learned I learned certainly from being in panelists, is that we talked about as briefly last week. I will not always share exactly the same opinion as my fellow panelists on any particular area or point that's made. And I appreciate when a fellow panelist will have a different perspective, but they offer it respectfully and say, I get that. But here's how I look at it. From my experience, I've noticed xyz, and that did happen once in our panel discussion. Last time was on, but it was. It was done so well. It was not confrontational, it wasn't adversarial. It simply gave the audience a different perspective. And I learned from it as well. So the cool thing is, as a panelist, we talk about be open to differing perspectives and so on, but when you're there, and you get asked a question, you want to give them what you got. You want to share experience, you want to share expertise, and that's great. But don't consider someone else's perspective as pushback or opposition, but view it as, you know what? I had never thought of it that way before, and I'm glad you said it. And that was my experience on the panel. So for me, it was a lesson learned that really be open to different perspectives, especially when you had never ever considered that before or even if you disagreed, give the other panelists a chance to explain their point of view. It just might change your mind.

Yes, be open. You might be surprised. And someone in the audience probably needs to hear their perspective even more than your perspective. Now there are some people need to hear your perspective as opposed to their. But again, the audience wins when we hear both. And Mark, this kind of leads me to these are two big words in a row. Brace yourself. Authentic edification. So edifying your fellow panelists is good. And when it's authentic, it's so much better because the audience can tell when your platitudes. One of the good lessons that I learned is even though I didn't have any communication with the moderator ahead of time until we finally get the questions last minute, and then I push back on that. But I went out and searched the moderator out to see his or her background, and I was pleasantly surprised at the expertise in which they had. So going there and watching a video in the homepage and getting to see their credentials made me go, okay, fair enough. They do something that I don't do. So it was a different perspective, and I would never want to do what they do. But there's a need for what they do, and they're every bit as professional. It's just a different lane, and I'm not familiar with that lane. I'm just not familiar with it. So they have a different ninja skill than I have. And so that was a big aha. So, Mark, I'm glad I took one of our tips. And even though that person didn't reach out to me, I did some research on them. Why? Again, to create the connection.

That's cool. There's two points there. One, we talked about speaking with them before, but if you can't reach, reach out to them. The lesson learned is you do your own homework, you do your own research and get as much information. Familiarize yourself with them. If not personally, at least get information on them. We do the same thing with our podcasts. I may bring a Guest, who I'm crazy about. You don't know. Wintley Phipps is, you know, you know of Chris Broussard, but he's my. He's my friend. So what can I get about Chris Broussard, Wendy Phipps, and so on. Same idea. And to me, one of the bonuses you said, authentic edification and platitudes in the same paragraph. I am just teasing, buddy. You know I love you. Okay, friends. We have been friends for 21 years. We tease each other a lot. Please don't send us any nasty emails. Okay? But please note the point here. Even if for some reason, you are unable to have that relationship with the moderator and your fellow panelists, do your homework, do your research, come prepared. And when you can share something about them, even in conversation. Before you start, let's say, oh, you made the effort to get to know me, even though we couldn't meet in person, I was traveling, whatever, but you made the effort to get to know me. That's a big benefit, because right there, somebody you just met is now more comfortable with you because they understand your intent is to get to know them. So together, you can be a team that serves your audience well. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. And the cool part is, part of the improv is after learning about the moderator and or other panelists, you can bring it into the conversation.

Exactly.

You learned you can bring it into the conversation, which makes it more conversational, more authentic, more connecting, which the audience, I believe, loves that. Because now it's. It's like doing a fireside chat with a group of experts as opposed to the formal panel.

Well, there's room for that, too, Darren. There is room for the formal panel, but I like the idea of the cohesiveness you can get when you at least do the research. And the bonus is when you do get to have the conversation beforehand, you get to build it before rapport. You get to establish some kind of relationship, and it just strengthens the entire experience that the audience has. So that's certainly one very good lesson learned. And if you're doing a panel, one more lesson I want to point out, particularly if it's your first or second time doing a panel. We talked last week about having time limits. You get a one minute opening or a five minute to speak. It is difficult to always track that. And I mentioned that in my last panel, knowing those limits, I use my mobile phone stopwatch and literally timed myself. I put my mobile phone on my monitor. Nobody could see it, but I hit start, and I would talk and Just glance at a time. Because I wanted to honor everyone else's time. The last thing I wanted to do was was to eat into somebody else's time and be unkind to them, even unintentionally. Because you know what, let's be honest. You give a speaker an opportunity to speak about what they love, we gonna take it. So we have to be respectful. I had not thought before of my phone as a tool to help me stay on time. It was spontaneous, but lesson learned. Do everything you can to honor and respect your fellow panelists, to honor the moderator, the meeting planner, and those in attendance, live or virtually or hybrid. Do everything you can to respect them. So I learned the power of a stopwatch at my last panel discussion.

Yeah, Mark and I learned picked up a tip from one of our podcasts the last couple of weeks where we said speak in sound bites on a panel. It was a great reminder and I had that in mind. And a couple times I almost caught myself going on a normal story and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, bring it back. Sound bites. But I also thought of those foundational phrases that we use that grabs the audience's attention and how powerful that is. And then you get the nods from the other panelists when you use those time tested foundational phrases that you've used before and then you bring them in here, you look like a rock star. Because you were able to answer succinctly in sound bites. We can't emphasize this enough. Panel, quick story, not story, quick story. And also being the doing the handoff, Mark, we used to do that in the old days of teleconferences and tele webinars, before there were zoom webinars where you're on the phone so we couldn't see each other handing it to each other. So we had to do the verbal handoff. And that came in a lesson learned reminder. Instead of always going back to the moderator. The moderator, the moderator. Sometimes that can get old. So there was a couple times that I saw the pattern where we were going and I turned it over to expert number three instead of having to go back and forth. So you want to not become the moderator, but be aware of the pattern and what's happening and what did you think? And that way it's not the repetitive pattern. So, Mark, that's lesson learned from being a panelist. The aftermath. Mark and I thought that since we both just had the experience, a refresher, let's just kind of come up with what worked and then the lessons learned Mark.

Well, there's one more lesson learned you don't realize. You just taught about a very powerful lesson that applies not just to being a panelist. It's about the story. We teach about having a long version of our slides, a one hour version, a 45 and a 30 version in case time is short. You're just telling us. Darren, you reiterated to us the importance of having versions of our stories. One could be a full blown story, but you also want to write it as an anecdote. So we say sound bite. We think media sound bite. Yes. But think of your longer story as an anecdote. There's a story, actually one of my signature stories about Leo the soccer player. I can tell that story in three minutes, in 10. And I deliberately tested it as a 25 minute story earlier this year. But it was an exercise in saying how can I get the true essence of the story in as short a time as possible in the context of the panel discussion? So I don't drone on and on and on. So if nothing else, please learn this lesson. It's important for all of us at some point in time to learn how to modify our stories or for different lengths, for different situations and still be very clear on the message, the point and the premise of what we're delivering. That for me is a keeper. A lesson learned was you can and you should have different length stories depending on the situation.

Yeah, depending on the platform. That's it for this week. Next week, join us. We're going to go into the greatest story never told. Join us.

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