Ep. 161 Your Message As A Gift With Dr. Shirley Davis

Hey, Darren Lacroix. How are you today, my friend?

Golden Gavel. Come on.

Now. Those of us who are Toastmasters are familiar. Every year, every year, Toastmasters is an award to one, as in one individual who they honor for their work, for their contribution to society, to industry. And the bonus is they also want to make sure it's an excellent communicator. And Darren, real quickly, I got a chance to speak with our Golden Gavel awardership earlier this year, and I'm eager for our audience to get to know Dr. Shirley Davis. Let's do this.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. AHAs. Let's dive right in.

Well, well, well, well, well. Dr. Shirley Davis. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcast. How are you today?

I am amazing and so honored to be with you. Thank you for having me.

Well, the pleasure is ours. Not often do we get the Golden Gavel winner, who is a multiple book author, who has spoken on five continents, who've been on the COVID of Oprah's own magazine. I mean, it goes on and on and on. And we consider ourselves honored to meet you. You, because you've done so much good work, particularly in the area of diversity, equity and inclusion for the last several years. And the honor truly is ours. What do you think?

Darren, man. Yeah, let's dive in. Dr. Shirley, thank you for joining us. First initial question, how did you even get started in speaking? A lot of speakers like to know the backstory, especially of legends.

Yeah, I've been speaking actually since I was a young child, meaning enjoying it. And I was always attracted to those courses in the classroom that allowed me to do, like, for example, English composition. I was on the debate club and I was always attracted to English and speaking and speech competitions. And so I can remember my parents telling me that when I was 6 years old that I was a valedictorian in my kindergarten class. And my teacher saw something in me and asked me if I would be willing, willing to address our. Our kindergarten class. So I did that. And my parents said that I did it unafraid and just did it with such passion. And that started, you know, they are just seeing that gift in me. But formally entering into this as a profession, it actually came over time. Right. I believe that our destiny and our purpose leaves breadcrumbs and leaves clues. And so I was working in a bank, and I was actually doing some work as a teller, teller supervisor, and then ultimately moved into doing some customer service tr And I was so good at it, they asked me if I would put together a training program and teach other new tellers and customer service reps. And I found my niche. I was like, wow, I love this. I love training people and educating others on how to get like this epiphany and these, these new learnings and lessons. And so I've been doing that ever since. And then formally, I got into this work full time. I left corporate America after 30 years, about seven years ago, after having been mentored and coached by what I consider best in the business. And that's Mr. Les Brown himself. He found me, got me involved in speaker training, taught me, and mentored me over 21 years. And he has really helped me to build my craft as well as the business.

Wow. Now, you mentioned mutual friend Les Brown.

Yes.

On our podcast earlier in the season. And I've known Les for several years, also through nsa. But I will confess, and I hope our listeners are hearing this, that you found the gift early. I don't know too many kindergarten valedictorians, but my understanding is kindergarten is five and six years old. But at that age, you were able to identify a gift within you that has been used for so many years. And I would like our listeners to think about this. We have gifts within us, and sometimes it takes a while for us to get them. But then you got that gift so early. You acknowledged it so early and had this love for words, for language, for speaking, and then on an avenue to use it on the job. And I know I was a bank teller back in 1980, a long time ago, what that's like. But you took this path from childhood, through learning, through training, and then you found a mentor to help you really expand the gift you had. And I think there's lessons here, Darren, for our listeners regarding the power of having mentors who see the gift and allow that gift to grow in you. And I really admire that because you said as good as you were, you wanted to hone the craft, you work with less and really develop the skill of presenting and doing that well. So before I leave this topic, one quick question for you. What do you think was the most valuable lesson you got from the mentorship that Les Brown gave?

Oh, wow, okay. You're talking 21 years, right? And you're asking me for one. Well, I will say too that Les helped me to truly get out of my head and step into my greatness. Because even though, Marcus, I mentioned you to you and Darren and to your audience, even though I attracted to those things at a very young age, you know, I said, I said that. Yes, at six years old, my teacher saw something in me, others saw things in me, but it still took me a long time because even though I went off to college, I didn't major in speech competition, excuse me, speech composition, nor did I major in being an educator. I majored in pre law. So I still did not jump into doing that work. But I was always attracted to that kind of teaching, education, and certainly writing and love, love to speak. And so I found myself over time as I began to mature, as I began to see what was really most important. Ultimately, yes, it found. So when Les and I used work together, one of the things he had to truly help me to get beyond was a lot of my analysis and my paralysis and all the excuses, oh, wait a minute, I'm working a full time job. Oh, wait a minute. I got great benefits. Oh, wait a minute, I got a steady paycheck. So I had to get out of my head and realize that my passion and my destiny were awaiting me and I was allowing myself to be in my own way. So that's a great, great gift that he gave me. To think bigger, think beyond my own limitations and my self limiting belief. And then the other thing he shared with me, which was so key and critical, was I had to jump and grow my wings on the way down.

You made one statement here that sounds like less jump and grow wings on the way down. But I want to make sure I properly interpret this. Dr. Davis, you will be attracted to your gift. Yeah, you will be attracted. Six years old. And the lesson for us is to think about our gifts. At one point, were we ever attracted to the gift? Have we forgotten that? And do we need to go back and realize, hey, yes, that gift is calling me? That's a good point. Thank you so very much for sharing that.

Yeah, and I remember that too. And it's one of the things I wrote in my latest book, and Les was the forward to that as well. But I really wrote in my book talking about how important it is to go back to your childhood and identify what are some of those things that you love to do, those gifts that you have, those early childhood dreams that you had where you didn't have all these limitations. So that was key and critical. So, yes, I totally agree with that.

And along the way, Mark was trying to nail you down to what's the one? I'm going to open it up a little bit in terms of maybe even not from Les, but along your journey as the speaker, because this is the Unforgettable Presentations podcast. What are a few of the lessons that you learned that help you go from good to great to, as we say, unforgettable? What are those critical lessons you can pass on?

I learned some great lessons, Darren. One of them is as life happened, right, that there's. That things will happen in your life that you don't have control over. And I've gone through so many different setbacks and challenges and tests and trials, near death experiences, breakups, betrayals, setbacks in my career, bankruptcy, financially devastated, and all of those things. What I learned in all of those is that they are building strength in you, courage in you, and they're teaching you that you can get beyond a lot of those setbacks and that they can truly help you be really springboard you into your future. I also learned, too, that life is not what happens to you, it's what you do with those things. So I had to shift in the ways that I looked at those, as, you know, as I say, these brilliant and these opportunities that are coming your way, but they're disguised as these challenges, but really they're opportunities. So I had to learn that. And ultimately I learned that failure is an option. A lot of times we learn failure is not an option. Failure is not an option. Oh, my God. Yes, it is. Because most successful people will tell you that they learn what not to do by doing a lot of the things that we failed at. And so I think that success for me has come because I have gone through so much missteps. I've gone through a lot of backpedaling. I've gone through some paralysis and some procrastinations. But it has taught me how to truly now look at these as opportunities, new doors that are coming and not to get in my comfort zone.

Not easy. And any insights in terms of, like, stagecraft when you're on stage, a lesson or two that you learned, maybe in terms of how to take your stories and up them or how to open better or closing tighter.

A couple of things. So I just got the golden gavel, as you opened up and mentioned. And so I was on like the largest stage of my career as a speaker, right to be talking to Toastmasters International which is huge. And it was a hybrid audience this year. So both in person, about 1200 people, and then the thousands of people worldw. And so what I know I had to do with my peers was bring it. So as I talk about my stagecraft, it truly was picking out some of the most substantial, significant and impactful compelling stories that was going to matter and those things that were relevant and that would resonate with people based on my topic. The other thing that I did was talk to a couple of people who were already a part of Toastmasters to ask them what were some of their key challenges. And I did my background study and my due diligence on the organization so that I could incorporate that into my message and make it even more meaningful. But to make it as impactful and unforgettable was for me to bring my most authentic self to tell my stories that only I could tell in the way that I could tell them and then share with them not only the brokenness, but the blessings that came out of them and then how they could then apply that in their own lives. So those were the things that I did was make those stories unforgettable, but also bring them in with laughter, with humor, but also with passion, with energy and a lot of emotion, but also practical takeaways. That's what our audiences want.

And Mark, I got one more piggyback question on this and then I'll toss it to you. So we've never asked a Golden Gavel winner this before, but you're five minutes before because a lot of presenters, they're really good, they have confidence. But sometimes five minutes before they go out, they don't necessarily have the routine or they let their inner critic psych them out. What does Dr. Shirley Davis do? Especially, like right before the golden gavel, what do you do to prepare? What are some of the techniques or ideas that you do to prepare your mindset before you walk out there?

Well, first of all, I over prepare. I over prepare. I was totally ready for the message that I was going to deliver. The other thing that was key for me was I did not want to deliver something so brand new. Hot off the plan, depressed that I would be so tense and stressed out, I was like, no, these are stories that I tell all the time. But I'm going to incorporate it in a way of what I've learned about the organization itself. But I know my stories, I know my message, I know the strategies that I want to leave with them. So what I do a lot of times before my speech and certainly before the golden gavel was I get there early, I did the walkthrough. I got a chance to meet people as they were coming in. So I'm not one of those that wants to be kind of like in the background and away from people. I need to make contact. And then I love, love, love when I hit the stage that I look at people and I try to find where people are and see something or someone familiar to me that's important. I had already walked the stage so I knew how far over to the left I could walk, how far to the front and how far to the side I was comfortable with the stage. And I wanted to make sure too that you know, for me when I shared my stories, that I had the right lighting, the right sound and my. And certainly my body language. So I had done some practice of that prior to. And then ultimately I'll you in every speech before I speak, I am always saying a prayer and making sure that I am grounded because I'm a woman of faith. I'm grounded in recognizing that my gift is making room for me. And my gift is a blessing to someone else. That helps me to be really prepared. And I breathe a lot. I do great breathing exercises to exhale out the anxiety, any stress, any pressure and I just take it in is that I am going to be a blessing to someone who can't handle that.

Nice. Well said, Mark.

Well, that last bit resonates with me. See your gift as a blessing to your audience. I consider that sage advice. Here's why. For many presenters, particularly new and emerging presenters, as you know, Dr. Davis, they're really key on how do I do this right, say the right words, do the right things, have all the right mechanics. But you're telling us that if we see what we have prepared as a blessing, provided we have over prepared as a blessing, then it takes the pressure off because now we're giving a gift. Now your experience, Dr. Davis, I'm sure there are other members of maybe NSA or emerging speakers who see you and they go and they admire you and they approach you. Dr. Davis, what's the best advice you can give me? That has never happened before, right? What do you say to them?

Be your most authentic self. Get comfortable with who you are because you are the only one of you. And it's a gift that you have on the inside of you. As I just said, I recognize that the message I have, the stories that I'm sharing, is that it's helping someone else who is either getting ready to go through the test or the child or the challenge, have the same questions that I had or they are not getting ready to go in it, they're in it now. And so I know that I have the solution to somebody's problem and I have the prescription to someone's illness or someone's sickness or whatever that might be. And sometimes our sickness can be us. Right? We'd be our biggest critics. And so my advice to them is always be your true and authentic self and utilize your message as a gift. The other thing that I always tell people to is stay in your lane. Don't try to be someone else that you're not. Don't try to fake the funk, don't try to emulate and do all the things that you see other speakers do. Find what you do well. Yes, there's nothing wrong with getting coaching and getting mentoring, but all of that should be to help you become a better version of who you are, find.

What you do well, and do that. Now, I will confess, both Darren And I over there, 20 plus years, have had several presenters who tell us, oh, man, I want to be like you. I want to be like you. And because they've admired our accomplishment as Toastmasters World Champions, and now we have a Golden Gather winner with us, and there are those even now who will admire you. And I kind of want to go off into a bit of a tangent here, but for a reason. You've done so much work in the diversity, equity and inclusion space, which I know will lead young women, particularly women of color, to admire you and want to do what you do and want to be like you. Not always presenters, but in terms of influence and being a role model, what advice would you give to other presenters who find themselves being admired, particularly by young people, for what they do and what their skill set might be, how would you advise them to carry themselves and then navigate that?

Carry yourself in your most authentic way and make time for people you know? And for me, I want to stay relevant, but I also want to stay connected with people. And I like people to see my humanity. One of the best compliments that I get from other people is that I'm approachable. And I'm not one of those kind of speakers that comes up, shows up, blows up, and then you don't see me anymore. I'm there. Before the other sessions, I sat through three other sessions at the Toastmasters International Conference before I even got my golden gavel. And I went back to my room and integrated some of the messages into my speech that they had shared. And I called their names in my presentation. So I think that's important. I want people to be relatable. I want people to feel I'm human. And I tell others that same thing too is don't be unapproachable. Don't get the gift that you have in your, that you have. And then you're unapproachable. Nobody can. Can relate to you. And you're so far up here. I know we fly like eagles, that's a good thing. But eagles come down too, and we want to be down where people are. So I think those are important because people, if you want your message to really resonate, people need to see that, oh, that person is just like me. That person did go through some of the same things that I went through. So those things important. Make time for, for the people that you can. I know you can't do it all, but don't just dismiss people and overlook people and make them feel invisible because you're so big now.

Darren Lacroix is a pretty cool dude and he has epitomized one point you made just now about being at an event as a recognized speaker, but investing time to attend other sessions. And Darren has been proclaiming that to our audience for a long time.

Wow, that's awesome.

But for many, the idea of, oh my gosh, I'm gonna speak in an hour. How do I then incorporate what I've just heard without completely blowing my speech to bits? Are there any specific techniques you used for short term incorporating what you have heard into a talk coming up in a short time?

Yeah, use the things that are relevant to what you're going to be talking about. That makes sense. So you don't want to just try to make it too over rehearsed and over manufactured. So for me, because I was going to be talking about leadership today and in the future and what you were going to need. Some of the other speakers, speakers were talking a bit about mental health and emotional wellness and they were talking about unconscious biases and they were talking about inclusivity and how important that was. All of that really tied into what I was going to be talking about. So I just pulled one point from one, one point from another. And here, if you need to, you can certainly have it as a note on the stage if you need to. Or what I did was I just went back to my slide deck and just put one or two words in there and called it out. So and I did remember the speaker's name. So those are the little small things that you can do, don't try to over remember and over rehearse it. But at least one thing that you do, you do know that resonates people appreciate that. And when I get to meet people and hear some of their testimonials, it's not unlike me to say I was talking to a blankety blanket and you know someone from Kentucky, I was talking to them out in the hallway and they were sharing with me like they know who they are. But people appreciate that you were out and available for others to meet you and to grab.

And I also want to just make sure everyone knows that you are not just a speaker in the diversity, equity inclusion. You had a dummies book, the Dummies series come out in January.

Woohoo.

That's big.

Sure. Yeah. Show it to us.

How amazing that one look Darren, that came out of left field. I wasn't expecting that. Look, I work hard and every day I'm trying to make impact. Every day I'm trying to that work with clients and customers and even mentees that I coach and help along the way. I was already working on another book with a global publishing company, Random Penguin House and Barrett Kohler. And I just published Living beyond what if and at the time I was writing that I get the call because of what we've been going through over the last two and a half years. There's a greater focus on De and I and leadership and culture and how we're going to work now differently. And I just get this call out of the blue from Wiley and Sons, huge, huge global publishing firm who has published what Almost 3000 Book for Dummies. Those of us who say I don't know this, I don't understand this, it's not for dummies, literally, right. But for those who are unknowledgeable about certain things. So to ask me to write that because of my 30 plus years of experience as a practitioner. So I've been a chief diversity, equity and inclusion officer three different times for major global corporations. But then because they looked at my background and saw all the work I was doing, I'm a five time author of LinkedIn learning courses. And so I was so honored and privileged that they asked me to write it because of my practical experience and my conversational tone. And they like, we don't want you to write this to people like you who get it, who've done this work. We want you to write it for those who are a bit far removed, those line leaders and supervisors who really don't understand it and Some might be resistant to it, and it's just, you know, the unknown. So write it in a very practical conversational tone in what you do. Anyway, so it was an easy task, but it was one of the most impactful and yet most significant contributions that I could make to leave a legacy.

Wow. Well, on that note, about the Dummies book.

Yeah.

You said write with a conversational and practical tone.

Yeah.

How do you. You mentioned you have mentees and people working with you who you. Who you're helping tutoring. How does that apply to speaking as well as writing? Are they mutually exclusive or do you. You.

No, that. That's my style. Look, one of the best compliments I get from my clients is that I'm very high energy. And they're like, your energy is contagious. But I also know how important it is. And I got this through training from some of my jobs. And see, I told you that all of the things that I've gone through and all of my jobs, my experiences have truly prepared me for the work that I do today as a speaker, as a coach, as a trainer, as a consultant, and as a global thought leader. I don't take any of those things for granted. But one of the most important lessons that I learned is that people don't just to hear statistics and data and facts and figures, that's important. But you need to leave them with something that's practical, a takeaway that they can go back and immediately apply in their daily jobs and in their daily lives. So I've always made sure every one of my training and educational programs and my speeches always have some strategies for what do you do about it, how do you go back and implement it? And telling stories and giving examples and giving testimonials, that's the way that you help them to see it's been done before and they can do it, too. That's the practical piece.

I really enjoy that. And you've had so much experience at the very highest level.

Yeah.

C suite.

Yeah.

What do you say to a presenter who gets an opportunity? I get to talk to CEOs and CFOs and CIOs. I've got to get all this information, all this data. I'm going to show them how much I know because I get the feeling there may be presenters who think the more information they have have, the better they will impress those in the C suite. Is that a misconception?

I think so, because I find, and I work with a number of CEOs of Fortune 50, Fortune 10, and yes. Fortune 100 companies. And I'm working with the CEOs, their direct reports of the C and E suite, leaders and boards of directors. And what I find is that they still appreciate the practical. Now they Definitely want the 50,000 foot. Help them understand what are some of the other global organizations doing? What's some of the best trends and best practices and strategies. But they also want to know now, how can I do it? How can our organization do it? So while we want to make it practical, we got to make it relevant to them, Right? So don't be so generic and don't give a bunch of statistics and data that doesn't relate specifically to their organization, to their industry, to their sector, and certainly to the issues that they're dealing with. So. So before I work with any of our leaders in presenting, I'm always asking questions. What's your, you know, what's your pain point? What is it that's keeping you up at night? What are some of the things that your employees are experiencing? What are things that you're afraid of that you don't share with them? They feel safe enough to tell me that. And I am able to cater and to tailor my presentations to them that makes it make sense for where they are. Bam.

This is a random question. Any strategies to have that unbelievable magnetic smile that you have, an energy?

Wow.

Yes. And that is be happy with who you are, be happy with where you are, be happy with what you do. And look, it took time, right? That's why I had to write this, the book Living beyond what if. And you see the backdrop here. This is my happy place by the water. But it's also a place of peace and a place of joy and a place of resolve. Because I did that work of having, like I was saying, a lot of those what if questions, those limiting beliefs, low self esteem. I had to get out of all of those places and spaces and truly find where was my happy place, what was my why, what was that that was making me live a life of meaning and significance. And when I got there about seven to 10 years ago, omg, it's just taken me to a whole nother level. So what you see is a true, authentic version of me becoming the best person that I can be. And still on that journey, I'm not what I would say at the finish line, but I have carried the baton to the second and the third and the fourth leg and I'm continuing the journey.

Yeah. As Patricia says. Patricia Fripp, those of you listening, Patricia Fripp says A hero is an imperfect person striving to be heroic. And what you're saying is you're there and you're striving to be better.

Always, Always. Every day I wake up excited about the opportun opportunity to be of service to someone and certainly the opportunity to be a blessing and to receive a blessing. I believe the more you give, the more it comes back to you. And so when you're living your best life and then you're striving to live an even better life, look, every day is golden. Look, no pun intended, with the golden galva.

Right. As you're like the perfect example of what Mark Brown says that you bring you to your presentation.

That's right, that's right.

And all of us, I think we need to remember we gotta work on ourselves in order to bring a better person to the presentation. So the presentation itself is better. We can't just, you know, it's not the words. It's not the words, it's the intention, it's the heart behind the words. Mark?

Yeah.

I have a question for you regarding your work, your expertise over 30 plus years in the university of Diversity, Equity.

And inclusion and human resources. Mostly human resources. Yeah.

And the thing is. Thank you. And I have come to understand I'm Jamaican by birth, an immigrant to the USA for over 40 years. But much of what people are facing now in terms of de and I were never part of my growing up experience. I also realize here in North America, very often the DEI definition seems to be very, very narrow.

Yeah.

And as a presenter, you now have to share with the world a broader perspective on what some may consider teach to be a touchy subject. Are there any principles you would help our listeners to learn when you face a touchy subject? Here's how to approach it to become unforgettable on a physical or virtual platform.

Great question.

Yes. And what's amazing is that's exactly what I was asked to do for Toastmasters. I was so honored that not only did he have a copy of my book, the President and CEO, but he had gotten a copy for all of his direct reports, his executives, his leadership team. And he said, I love the way you approach this topic. And he said, because it makes it practical, relatable. And he said, and I'm learning from it without walking away feeling some kind of way. Right. I feel challenged. Yes. I feel like there's more work for me to do. But I didn't walk away feeling like, wow, I could never grasp this. So I think what's important is any particular topic. And we do a whole session on tips for talking about taboo topics. And what's important for that is that you want to first start with. With what's been, the ways that you've done it. So for me, I share my story about being a woman, a person of color, a woman of faith, and being in those rooms where I've been the only one, being in those rooms where I've been invisible, being at the table and feeling like I wasn't heard, that I was overlooked and I was undervalued. So when you share your own personal stories, you're not blaming and shaming anyone, but you're helping them to see, hey, I might have been one of those kind of leaders that treated her the same way, or I might be one of those kind of people who said that, and I didn't know that that was offensive or insulting or it came across as, you know, very hurtful. And so I'm sharing with them those kinds of stories. And the other thing I do is I love to gather testimonials from others. We do a lot of organizational assessments and audits. So I've got so many great stories and examples, but also data to be able to benchmark. Where are a lot of employees at today? So I'm able to share. Here is what your employees are saying. And there's a disconnect between their experience as an employee or worker from what your experience is as the leader and the executive. There's a disconnect. And sometimes we can be so high up here creating policies and strategies and practices that we forget sometimes the imposition and the interruption that it has to your business and your culture because you're out of touch. So talking about those, those taboo topics allows them now to say, you know, what I've got to rethink maybe the way that I show up, the way that I share things, the way that I communicate and who I might be leaving out, those are ways that you can do it. You can't necessarily put yourself in the other person's shoes because you may have never been a woman of color or a woman of faith or may have never been LGBTQ or person with a disability. But I do say to them, here's some of the common general ways that people feel overlooked and undervalued. And you can see it happen, happening all around the world where people have joined the great resignation or they're quietly quitting. You know, many of them may be still there, but they quit a long time ago. They just didn't Leave.

Well, so what I'm hearing then, and the practical tip, any of us, we may have passion for a particular topic, may not be de and I, but we have to also be aware it's helpful when we bring our personal story so we aren't simply just talking about a concept to beat somebody, but also be aware of how people communicate. I think a lesson for me is, particularly if I get the chance to travel to different parts of the world, physically or virtually, is to really develop an understanding of the audience. I will have their culture, their systems, what their beliefs are, and try to find a way to bridge that gap by sharing my experience, being honest, open and vulnerable enough, and maybe then we can have a dialogue and have conversations that will make it easier for our presentation to be able to ask question on this particular topic. I don't know if you've been counted anybody or you met anyone or heard someone who came down so heavily because they were activist or cause driven that may have caused a rift rather than a bridge.

Yes.

What advice would you give to passionate perspective presenters who really feel strongly about a cause, but your concern may be that their approach could lead to a rift.

Yes.

How would you advise them?

Yeah, I coach that all the time. And unfortunately, I have been one of those presenters who have come after someone's wounds have been open and they are still hurting. And so one of the things that I will share with them is what my practices are as well too, is I do want to first understand the audience and I do want to understand what. What's been some of the other education, I always ask, who's been some of your previous speakers? What's been the message? What was the reaction? And so I want to be sensitive to that so that I can either reinforce the messages that were positive that resonated, or I can help build that bridge where there has been just a opening and people fell in. The other thing too, that I coach people on too, is your tone is very important. If you build relationships with people ahead of time, build that rapport, like I said, get there ahead of time and start to engage and interact with some of the attendees. Ask them, what are you expecting today? What are you looking forward to today? And just make sure you're making some of those shifts and making sure too that you're adjusting as you need to. The other part of it is use much more inclusive language and be careful and sensitive about some of the stories you might tell that could very well shut people down. Language matters, words matter. And so you have to be sensitive to that, and I've even had to learn that even as a DEI expert, I still sometimes put my foot in my mind mouth. But I own it on stage. And sometimes I'll use it as a learning moment. Right. And I'll say to them, you know what? And I was at this last meeting, I was at this last presentation, and I said this, and I was like, wow. Coming from the DEI expert. Right. So we all are on a learning journey. We all make mistakes. Here's how you can recover.

Yeah. And intent matters, too. I think people can sense your intent. Doesn't mean you can say whatever you want. But I think if we know your heart and one of the things that Mark is doing as you have been speaking, he's been taking notes, and we do a little recap of your keepers and the wisdom that you dropped. And as he puts those together and we start coming to a close, one of the questions I always love to ask is if you, Dr. Shirley Davis, were sitting down with an emerging speaker, let's say, and they ask you for advice, like, I love what I do. I'm passionate. But what can I do to be unforgettable? What's some of the advice you would give them?

Yeah, and I've hit on some of those. You're right. So I'll summarize. Some of them is if you want to be unforgettable, you've got to make sure that you yourself feel that way. So you can't give and bring what you don't already feel yourself. Do you feel empowered? Do you know what your superpower is? Do you understand your. Why do you recognize that there's greatness on the inside of you? And have you tapped into that?

That.

Because when you then really do the work to evolve into that person, that one that you want to be unforgettable, it starts first with your own introspection and making sure that you have done the work yourself. That's important because not too long ago, someone had not done the work. And they got up on stage, they had gone through a bad, bad breakup in their relationship, and it was easy to tell that they had not gotten over the pain because it was painful to listen to them as it was almost a therapy session. So it was not inspirational, not motivational. It was one of those painful things that we were listening to. So I always tell people, too, make sure that there's distance between anything that you're going to be talking about in your stories that was painful and hurtful that you're not healed over. You got to be healed and whole when you're talking to your audience because you want them to feel that same thing from you. So when people hear me, if they want that, that unforgettable experience, it's like, wow, she's so pumped up. She's so excited. She is so, you know, happ and energetic. I want that. When you give off those vibes of not being healed and not being whole and not even being resolved and even confident in who you are, that too comes across. Yeah.

Bam. And I just have to say, too, I love that. I love knowing and hearing that you weren't just the golden gavel winner. They literally bought your book, Dan, Rex and for the team, and they used your book. It's the content for everyone. It's going beyond the speech. It's the a. It's the life that you live, but it's also the content that you give. And we shouldn't get it all in an hour. So I love hearing that backstory because.

Yes.

Thank you.

Yeah. Mark.

Wow. We have what we call keepers, little nuggets of Wisdom. I get eight or nine. I have at least 15 here. I want to share a few of them that really resonated with me. And you know what? Sometimes Darren has his own as well. But I like this one. You will be attracted to your gift early, so can they be aware what's going on around you? If need be, go back to your childhood and find what attracted you then. Opportunities are often disguised as failure and failure is an option. Who else changes the there? When presenting, choose your most impactful stories for that audience and do your due diligence to serve them well.

That's right.

Always bring your best and most authentic self and bring the full breadth of your experience to your presentations.

That's right.

Share your brokenness and your blessings as part of your authenticity. Oh, good. Customize and incorporate material for every organization audience and see your gift as a blessing to your audience. You can't be all things to all men, so stay in your lane and find what you do well.

That's right.

Time passes. Stay relevant. Be relatable and approachable. Don't just show up and blow up. When presenting as part of a team of other speakers, selectively pull content from previous presenters, even if it's just one very relevant point. Don't upend your whole talk, but choose one valid point and work with that. Write and speak with a conversational and practical tone and be excited for every opportunity to serve. Remember, be sensitive of language and references, but begin to feel unforgettable and you will be unforgettable.

I love it.

Bam. Lots of wisdom.

Boom. I love that. Amazing.

I said all that.

Wow, that was a great. I love that, love that. I can't wait to hear this again because those are some wonderful nuggets right there is just like a whole framework and how to give and be an unforgettable presenter.

Well, there's something else here. I hope everyone catches this and just hit me. Boom. In the forehead. When we hear ourselves after a presentation, it might surprise us just how much wisdom we have gained over the years that we relate when we actually sing it. I mean, in 40 minutes you gave us all this wisdom. And I'm so thankful to our friend, our mentor, our co author, Patricia Fripp for first introducing me to you several months ago, Dr. Davis. So I, I have been blessed by our conversation.

Thank you and congratulations again on the golden gavel, all of your books, all the people you're impacting and thank you for taking the time during your vacation to be able to give to us. Mark, what a pleasure.

How can our listeners and viewers get hold of the great Dr. Shirley Davis?

Well, obviously if you want to be unforgettable, you got to be findable, right? So find me at www.drshirleydavis.com and then link in with me. I'm on LinkedIn, LinkedIn, learning and then follow me on Instagram, Twitter as well as on TikTok and Clubhouse. So that's important things for me and certainly go to Amazon and get my books. I would love, love, love for you to be blessed by the content and my experiences.

Nice. Thanks for being here and you listening. Soak up the Wisdom, get more Dr. Davis and we'll see you next week.

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