Ep. 175 Coaching The Coach With Coach Jennifer Leone

Hey there, Mark Brown. The greatest gift that I could give you, my coach, is the gift of Jennifer. Jennifer, reaching into your life and helping you. This is like live without a net. We're just going to watch a coach get coached by a coach. I'm so thrilled and so excited.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, Ahas? Let's dive right in.

Mark Brown, I have a feeling you're extra vulnerable this morning, so.

Well, yeah, I'm dealing with a physical battle, but that's okay. Seeing a coach getting coached by a coach on a coaching call about coaching. Well, Jennifer, good to see you again.

Thank you. And, and you too. And, and I, I do want to acknowledge that the talent in the room before we start.

Yes.

You. The, the, the two of you have made a huge impression on me and also in my coaching and, and in my purpose of why I coach. And I thank you for that and thank you for, for, you know, what you give the world as well. Now I ask you to put your coaching hat down.

I don't know if Mark has. Mark, can you do that? Because vulner vulnerability plus I just. Authenticity equals credibility.

Plus vulnerability equals credibility.

And I just want to say that if you didn't listen to last week's episode, please go and listen because we dive into Jennifer's unforgettable questions. Mark.

Yeah, of course. I'll put a little disclaimer out there. Darren is relishing the idea that Jennifer is going to get going to my life because she made him cry in like five minutes when he went to her house years ago.

Your turn.

That's cool. But also for those who are part of our community, it's important for me to understand that we do our best to serve and help and coach people all over the world at various levels of urgency. But we are not afraid, ashamed, or unwilling to submit ourselves to the same treatment we give every single day, every single week. So I want to be clear on that. It's unrehearsed. I'm going to tell a story I've never told anywhere to anyone before in any kind of presentation. So I find this, for me, intriguing and I'd love to Find out what Jennifer hears that I don't hear or what she sees that I don't see. That being said, let's just jump into it together, okay?

Now if I. If I could just. Before you start. So people will know my style, and you. And you will be. No, my style. I need to stop when I need to stop at any moment to ask a question. Because if I don't, I may lose that thought, and it. It may disrupt, you know, the flow that I've got going in my head. So if you're okay with that, then I will do it the way I normally do it with a client.

Of course we are. When Darren and I were coaching at NSA a few years ago, we would interrupt people right away and say, oh, stop right there. And it was fine. So I'm totally open to that. The backdrop is 2009, when I buy my very first house here in Lizella, Georgia from Jerry and Jennifer. A couple maybe 70 years old, will retire in their. In their late 70s or late 60s, retiring. And Andrea and I found this wonderful house in the country, and we decided to buy the house. Jerry and Jennifer are a sweet, picture perfect older couple who could be anybody's grandma and grandpa. Real sweet people. We go to the closing, Everything is set. And the night before moving in, Jerry says to me, listen, I have. I need a couple of hours to move a few things out of the house. Just a few things before you move in. I said, fine, no problem. We moved in, everything worked well, and we began a new life in this new house. We come to find out Jerry and Jennifer want to stay in touch. We call once in a while. How you doing? It's great. Like in the house. It's wonderful. Thank you so much. Then we find out Jerry and Jennifer will come back to Georgia on vacation from Florida to visit our neighbor Larry down the street. Because they were best buddies for many, many years because they both bought their houses here in the 1990s. Brand new Jerry comes back to Georgia and say, hey, how you doing, Jerry? Great, Mark. How's the house? Oh, it's fine. Can I come in? Sure. And Jerry walked around the house. Oh, nice job, Mark. I love this. I love that. Oh, Mark, that, that faucet there, it's not. I see it's broken there. Can I fix that for you? I said, yeah. And over the course of a year, every time Jerry came back from Florida to visit our neighborhood, he'd find something to fix in my house. Now, normally you buy a house and you have a closing. You make a Deal. You sign papers and the individual shake hands and parties part company. But not Jerry, not Jennifer. Every chance they got, they came by to visit their old house, but more importantly, my wife and me. And over the course of three years, he was fixing things in my house every time he came home. I was wondering. It seems so odd to me that someone who would normally wash their hands and walk away would still want to be involved. But I never thought. He failed to let go of the house. What I thought was, here's someone who loves people dearly enough and honestly enough and purely enough to give a helping hand whenever he could. I didn't really fully understand that until six years later in 2015, when I suddenly lost my job of many, many years and found myself starting over again in my mid-50s in a very scary place. And one day, Jerry called on the phone. How y' all doing, Mark? Well, you know, Jerry's been a tough couple of months, man. It's been really, really hard. I'm not sure how I'm going to navigate this. Tell you what, you and Andrea take a few days, come down far to hang out with us, get your mind off things. I'll send you the address. We'll take care of you. Who was this man? Who was this woman who after selling you a house, not only come back to fix the house wherever they can, but opens their new home to you when you go through a difficult season? And sure enough, Andrew and I drove down to Fort Myers, Florida, to visit Jerry and Jennifer. They wouldn't let us do a thing but be their guest in their home. Took us for a boat ride, took us to activities to buy ice creams. They did their best to just let us enjoy some time away from chaos that led. That was a result of my having lost my job. And we had a really good five days with them. We came back home and I struggled for several years, and I will confess that. But every time I think of Jerry and Jennifer, I think this is not normal. People don't normally open their life to you when you buy a house from them. You normally sign a contract, you shake hands, and you part company. But I believe Jerry and Jennifer were not ordinary people. I'm hoping that the love and care and concern they show to Andrea and me over the past 13 years, we can pass on to other people. Because I never think of someone who does a transaction as someone who continues to build a relationship. And I guess one thing I've learned from Jerry and Jennifer is this too much of our lives are transactional, but we can make them relational. Too much of our lives are transactional, but we should make them relational. And I'm hoping that should I ever be old enough to sell my house to some younger couple, if I ever have a chance to do that, I might take a page out of Jerry and 24's book and extend the relationship if it's accepted. And serve them the way Jerry and Jennifer have served us. That's my story. And I'm done.

Here comes the scalpel.

I didn't bring any Kleenex, but I'll be okay.

No, no, no. It actually. Actually, what you said is. It's really interesting that this isn't a normal scenario. You purchase a home just like what we did. We just sold our home after 45 years. After 45 years, we drove down that driveway knowing that we'll never see this home again. But in our own mind, we never wanted to meet the new people, really. And our reason was we didn't want a memory of a new memory of a new face in our old home.

I get that.

We wanted our memory to be left there and take it with us. So, you know, it's quite exceptional that these two people did what they did. Now let's ask, well, why. Why did they do what they do? And isn't it interesting that you said that they actually came at a time when it was a rough time for you? That is no coincidence in this universe. Because I've noticed in every story that I hear, at some point, at our lowest point, someone. Something happens to balance it back up. We may not see that until later on when we. When we reflect, but that person came for a reason and for a purpose.

Now, that's interesting, because as I think back on the story, I couldn't tell the whole story of buying a house, but you mentioned unusual and for a purpose. They were selling the house as owner. Here in the usa, you can sell through realtor. You can do sale by owner. He was selling it as owner. It also. I also found out he and his wife had the house built to their spec. He used to their first house. They ran their own power cables. I mean, they literally did work on a house. He had photographs of the house under construction of the empty lot with trees being moved. He and his wife were invested in the property. And it also turns out, and Andrea told me this, we were not the. We were not the highest bidder on the house. But something about Andrea and me, something about us, made them choose us to buy the house. I'd forgotten about that already. She's drinking deep. Look at that, Darren.

And now Mark. Think of it. Think of. Think of this. Because anything that we have, we own. It will mean different things to different people.

Yeah.

To some people, the house is just purely to cover their head, keep them warm, keep them cold, whatever, throughout the seasons. To someone else, it represents much more. Maybe it could be the sacrifices it took to get there, to build that home and all the memories that go in that home. To them, it was as equivalent as loving one of your children. See, that love for that house meant much more to Jennifer and Jerry. Obviously, this is obvious because of the. What they did and what they were prepared to do. So, you know, for them, it was the same. We. You. It's as if they were passing the baton, but they were very careful who. They passed the baton.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And. And so it's. It's. It's also our interpretation of what means a lot to us. You know, another. Another way of using the parallel in the story. Now they got a vibe from you. It's not the look, it's the vibe that they get when you think they're it. They're the ones. They're the ones I'm willing to let go and give my baton to them.

I just wrote down passing the baton.

Wow. Yeah.

The whole. The whole theme here already emerging in two minutes. Wow.

Because now we get into their head and realize what this meant for them now for. For him to come back each year. Obviously he wanted to carry the relationship. He must. They must have felt you were people that would reciprocate that because, you know, when someone's approachable or not, you feel it.

Yeah, Right.

So they feel that, you know, that connection and that love. And it's as if that heartbeat had never stopped in that home. It continued on, you know, another parallel that you could use as a coach.

Continuing heartbeat.

Yeah.

I want to blame my wife because she is such a sweetheart and you've met her. Darren knows her pretty well. She has a way of drawing people to her, and people are drawn to her. And I'm sure that her being part of our duo was significant for them to make this decision, but. Yeah. Wow.

And now also consider this angle. If they were that intuitive to get that vibe, to get that feel from, you know what? These are the right people to. To move into the home that we put our heart and soul into. We know that they'll carry on the love in that home if they had that intuition that you were the right people to do that. I also believe, because I'VE seen it happen over and over again. We feel a, something in someone when we see a pain from them. I'll give, I'll give you an example of a man that I coached, six foot four man, who would make common sense, have a strong voice when he speak. And he had the confidence and the guts. He had everything to get up and do a speech. But when he spoke, virtually he whispered and I thought it odd. So I started to practice and I'd say, john, get down the back of the room and I'll go to the front of the training room and you've got to tell this story so that I could hear. And he found it extremely uncomfortable. And I went, wow, you're a six foot four man. You should have a strong voice. I knew straight away from that, from my experiences of being very intuitive, this man is holding back. He does not want to yell. Why does he not want to yell? Because somebody in his life had yelled. And he's linking to that. And it was. His mother had lost his little brother. And she constantly said in her pain and in her bereavement, shut up, be quiet. I don't want to hear your voice when you, when you cry, mom, Mom, I need. And that stayed with him. And this was a man now I was working with in his 70s. So that's that intuition that I got. So I'm saying now for, for Jerry and that they, he would have felt that something that he may have felt within him. I'm pretty certain I can help him in my own way. And that was his own way. I will fix this for you. I can't fix your pain, but I know it's there.

I think, you know, again, the, the pivotal experience was six years later in 2015. However, Jerry and Jennifer also knew I was a first time homebuyer in my, you know, late in my life, my first time owning a home, I didn't know a thing about homeownership and home maintenance. And I think one could say, well, maybe he pitied me a little bit because he saw this guy who's first time, got a family, got a house, doesn't know what he's doing, and I can help. It just seems so strange that he would leave from Florida, come back to Georgia twice a year, and every time he came back in my driveway. How's it going? Look at the backyard, look at the pool. Oh, we can fix that over here real easy. I mean, yeah, it just, and that's.

And that's that, you know, nurturing that fatherly love. You Know.

Yeah.

That the man has, you know, within him. And the beauty of what they did, as amazing as it sounds and unusual as it sounds, he did what he did, and he didn't have to do it.

Right.

That is a powerful lesson in your story, in telling others, because do we do what we do to get something back? But when you do what you do because you don't have to do it, it is, you know, it is pure giving. That's our intent.

What is our intent?

Wow. What is your intent? Wow. So there's powerful lessons of, you know, when. When. When I spoke at a. At a. At a seminar, there was a man there, and it was a pro bono. This particular one, a man at the end of the present, you know, shook my hand, thanked me, and I really love the story. And you made me think. And I went, yeah, yeah, that was nice, because everybody else did that. And then he slipped a $20 note. Now, let me tell you, this $20 note was folded in four. It had been so flat in that wallet, you could tell, you know, And I remember looking at this. At first, I thought it was a business card. And I looked at that, and I looked at it in the car. That was my first paying gig, that $20 note. That man will never, never know the beginning of what he had started. And the beauty was, he didn't have to pay me, but he felt compelled. And it made me think of how I could reciprocate and ripple that effect. The same as your Jerry and your Jennifer didn't have to do what they do, but they see that, and it also helps them feel as if I'm still a little part. I still want to fix, I still want to repair, to maintain, you know, the love that carries on in this home. So this home is up and standing and working for your people, for your family, to. To feel the love. It's giving, giving, giving without having to have, you know, a payment in return for it. That. That is a pure example of someone actually giving without. Without expecting anything in return.

You know, I often talk about service, service and servanthood and caring and love. Because Darren will tell you my heart is always, how do we serve? How do we bless people? And what's also interesting about our story, Anders, and my story is that we have perpetual, perpetually been the ones who serve, and we don't often. And this may sound like a complaint. It's not. I'm being very vulnerable here. We are often the ones who serve, not as often the ones who are served. But I did learn a key Lesson there that it is good to receive. You know, we've been told it is more blessed to give than to receive. You must always give. You must always serve. But the experience we've had over the last several years and with Jerry and Jennifer definitely, is that it's okay to receive. You know, we've been taught so much give. It's better to give. Oh, it is more blessed to give. But we realize it's okay to receive, especially in a moment of pain. Right, Darren?

Jennifer, can I jump in? I don't want to disrupt your flow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A couple quick observations that I've had from the stands here, watching the master work with the master. A couple of ideas. Mark, you could, if you told this story and Jennifer, if it works, you could talk. You talked about. You went from trans. Transactional to relational. Relational. How about this? From transactional to transformational. And then over time, you realized it was perpetual. Just an idea.

Yeah.

Because then it became deeper. You're like, wow, this is. He wants it to remain perpetual. Like the giving to. Anyway, just again, ideas. And then we talked about vibe. Like, it could be a little aside, but is your vibe worth catching? Is your vibe worth catching? And then another idea that came up was he didn't have to. He wanted to, or he didn't have to.

He chose to.

He chose for a must do for who he is and who you are. It became a must do. This is what I must do. Just again, ideas from the sideline. Back to you, Jennifer.

There's no sideline ideas here. We're all coaches. It's all good.

That's right. The other idea that I got, it also teaches us how to accept what's been given to us.

Right.

Because. Because in this case, you could have go, who the hell is this guy? You know, it's my home now. You know, what does he think? Is he looking around? Is he looking for faults? Now, you could have gone down that road. And some people do that. And sometimes we. We have an intent to give to someone and they take offense.

Yeah.

And we forget that we're not looking from their point of view is. I'm. I'm just here to help. I know, I know I can do. Now this would have been a. This. You would have helped him as much as he helped you because you didn't close the door on him and go, listen, buddy, I'm fine. It's okay. But you. You also encourage now the relationship, and it becomes now two way and this. You have no idea what this would have done for him each time you went there to visit when you allowed him. Yeah, yeah, come in, come in. Yeah, come in, Jerry, come in. You have no idea. He. He. Maybe he will tell you one day what that did for him.

And Mark. It could be a better to give than receive and says it's better to give than to receive. It doesn't say, don't receive.

Right.

When we're not receiving from someone, we're not allowing them to give.

And how do we receive?

How do we receive when we don't receive? We don't allow them to give. We'll have to rephrase that. But yeah, yeah, yeah. We're actually hindering their joy of giving.

Taking their joy away.

Yeah.

How dare you take away my joy.

Because, you know, sometimes I. I may make something for the kids and they'll go, no, no, no, mom, it's okay. It's fine. They have no idea the pleasure that it gives me if I make that meal and I sit there and I watch them eat it. It's simply just a simple thing. So it's the same, you know, same example also, what, what this does in what we're doing now. You could have said that a story with those course of events and stayed at that. And that's what a lot of people do. They stick to the events of their story and stay with that. We're looking into the symbolism and there becomes now more of a story.

Yeah.

The truth inside of the story. The truth as to why we do what we do.

Yeah. Worth. Worth my while to take a deeper look at the hero.

Yeah.

I mean, the guru, Jerry. But what is his. What are his and Jennifer's perspective? What is their point of view? What do they see? Who are they on a deeper level?

Because he also, he really acted like. Like a member of your family, whether it be a father, an uncle that would come in. You know, you've bought a home for the first time. You're naive. You knew it. All this. And he. He took on that role. So where. If we don't have that in our life, it's. It's no coincidence that someone comes and replaces that for that moment.

Yeah. The odd thing is, in my experience, and have very limited experience with home buying, you two have more than I do. But the individual from whom you buy the house generally does not fill that role. It's normally a buddy of yours, a friend of yours, a family member who said, hey. Or what you does construction from your church or your house of worship or your community or toastmaster, whatever it may be. But it's not usually the individual you buy the home from who fills in that role. So it speaks a lot to their character.

And he went beyond the service of the sale.

Yes, exactly.

Again, using this story, whether you're talking in front of leaders and in sales, you could use this as well.

Beyond the service of the sale.

Yeah, yeah.

Could you? Do you feel comfortable having a conversation with him, Mark?

Of course, of course.

And ask him his perspective. What were you thinking?

Yeah.

Why do you think you do this? Might give you some insight.

And another thing, I'm not sure. I don't know what religion he is, but whatever it is or whatever his beliefs or his values are, if you find out what they are, it also shows you that he's a man that had a value in a certain integrity, but he was the doer of the integrity. Are we in our own values? You know, you could share that as a parallel because sometimes, yeah, we, we're great at going, yeah, I believe in this and I do this, but we don't do anything. He was someone, no matter what it, you know, what he felt about how he treats people in his life, he actually did it. He walked the talk.

Living out his values.

Yes.

Living his values.

Yes. You know that he came to you as a lesson. And if you see that, you will uncover even more. That person came into your life. Whether he made you cry or made you laugh, there was a reason and a purpose for it, Mark.

And you might, sorry, you might remember my question at the beginning of one of my Rudy speeches. Who is your hero's hero? Who did your friend learn that from? Like, where did he pick it up from his life that now he is programmed to do this and give.

What's the root? Yeah. So it's been worthwhile to do a little deeper character study.

When I was expecting my first child and every Sunday night we'd go to church, you didn't get an opportunity really to talk to a lot of people while you're in the service. But there was always one woman that always sat behind us every Saturday. And this particular, she'd just smile at you. She wouldn't say much. But this particular day she tapped me on the shoulder and turned around and I smiled and she handed me hand knitted booties. That's all she did. That's all she did. And I remember to this day the smile on her face in doing it. And I remember going, I want that. That's the magic I want in her eyes. Didn't matter if she didn't get a thank you from me that she gave with her pure intent. This is for you. I made it with love. That is similar to this learning that lessons from. From that man don't waste. I'm saying to your audiences, don't waste those lessons. When you get those lessons and you uncover them and you find the symbolism in those lessons, then be that lesson to the next person. What are you willing to do and how far are you prepared to go? Because it's amazing what can be achieved when you don't care who gets the credit.

Well said.

Wow, this is good. I'm curious to take it one step further. The second half of the story was six years later when I lost my job, and things were getting really tough for us, and it was very stressful. He made the offer for us to go down to see him in Florida and to get away from everything that was. Was quite overwhelming here in central Georgia at the time. And just the way they were so hospitable and so open and just helped us to kind of forget, even for a few days, forget about what you're dealing with and realize that there are other parts to life to be lived. And normally, you would think family would do that, or friends or close, you know, loved ones, but someone with whom we built a relationship over time based upon one transaction and the way they did what they did, I guess that does, again, reinforcement. The idea of them living the values that they believed and having established a relationship with us, which to this day, I think is still odd. I've not heard since of any other similar relationship between the seller and the buyer of a house or a car, for that matter. So it's unique. It's unique, but the consistency that we see is in the character they have, the heart they have, the concern they have, and that almost paternal approach to. Just to help and support and encourage.

And their friendship had no judgment.

No, no. It was very supportive.

And that would be far better than seeing any family member at times.

Sometimes, yes, that's true.

You know, but also, how much was achieved by that pure gesture of inviting. They invited you to their home, you know, without judgment. We underestimate. You know, sometimes our judgments get in our way. Again, you know, another example. And when you only think of the people that you want to help without any. Any reward for yourself, you will achieve much more.

Without any reward for yourselves. Well, I think that's.

When you don't. When. When you can live with the fact that nobody even knew that you were the person that helped someone.

Right, right.

Man, that's a Difference. That's when you really help. But if you're only thinking, yeah, yeah, there was.

There was never any show or any proclamation. I mean, if I didn't tell the story, you would never know even happened. And also, I believe they even tell their own kids about us. I don't think they do.

And, and you wouldn't. And you have no idea in their story how they needed a friendship. We don't know. You ask, you ask him what, what it meant for him that you reciprocated, you know, his. His friendship. And, and we have no idea what it may mean to somebody.

Mark, I'm going to channel my inner Jennifer here.

Okay.

I'd be willing to bet what he did and how he did it caused conversation with you and your wife.

Between.

Us after they left each time.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So those conversations. So his act didn't stop there? No, it kept going, it kept giving. Like his actions caused conversation with you and your wife. And I don't know how that fits in there, but I'm just thinking, like the transactional became transformational. It was perpetual. Perpetual, which is relational. That's a lot of syllables for me.

A lot of Asians here, many nations here.

And it's. And it's really interesting that he didn't come and tell you what you could do or haven't done to the house. He looked for the things that he could fix. I mean, that's who he is. He's just showing you who he is.

It was never a case of, oh, you didn't do that. Right. Or you messed it up, say, yeah, no, it was. It was. It was never. There was never any hint of reprimand or anything like that. It was more of, ah, I see here you could do this. Let me do it for you. I'm like, jerry, no, no, no, no. I'll show you. I didn't know how to do it, but he would, you know, he would repair. Repair pipes under my deck where the pool was that he had put in with his own son, by the way. So he knew. He knew the home. He knew the pulse of the house. He knew all the house breathed.

Can you see how much that house. Yeah. But it meant much more to him.

But he loved that house. Yes.

Go. Go back and have conversations with him because I think he's going to tell you some more to the story and he may tell. Made a difference to him in the way you allowed him, you know, and welcomed him to come in as usual, unusual as it was.

Well, that piece, the difference I Made Andrew and I made to him. Never occurred to me. It never did occur to me. And that's definitely worth investigating and having another. Another talk about because I never saw that, that perspective in the story. But I was always, I was always just flabbergasted, amazed, blessed that he would do what he had done and then to invite us to his home to get us away from our life stress. He was wise enough to realize that four or five days away from Macon, Georgia would be helpful to Andrea and me just to decompress a little bit and just to get away from all of that. Because it's a significant shift when you lose your income like that. Anybody who has lost a job and their income knows what that feels like. And in that moment, he realized that he could alleviate some of my stress. And I never thought about it that way. And I never ever thought.

Mark, wasn't he fixing. Wasn't he fixing something else? It wasn't now a pipe. He was fixing something for you.

Yes. That's good. That's gold.

He was fixing something for you. Yeah, he was still fixing something.

Fixer. Yeah, yeah, he was fixing us actually. Yeah, that's not. That's heavy. And Mark, I never saw that before.

I saw it, but I was waiting. When can I do this? So I'm waiting. I've got to find the right moments when I think someone will. Will open up and give me that because I'm very conscious of that.

No, that was just brilliant. He was actually helping to fix us at a time when we were broken and damaged.

And Mark, he also. Yes, he also didn't sell. He also didn't sell you a home. He passed on something he loved.

Yeah.

Remember? He remember wasn't the money for him because other people offered more.

Yeah.

It wasn't this. It wasn't about the money. This was about much more. So find out from him how much more that was for him.

Not financial, but emotionally. Wow. Relationally.

And even, Even the fact. Okay. He invites you to your home. Other people can do that, no big deal. That's nice. It's hospitable. But here is someone that. That like you said, sold you a home. That is exceptional. That is. Wow. That's different. So he really did come at a time when he saw what needed to be fixed in his own way. Now he, he just. That gesture. And don't tell your audiences, don't underestimate those small gestures. Just like the woman that handed me the hand knitted booties. Just like when he invites you to your home out of all the things in my life, I still remember that one. Just like you remember him and her. Don't underestimate those small things that people do that have this huge ripple effect. He will never be forgotten in your memories. Never. So don't underestimate or. And all that man did was show you the, you know, the love and the care that he had for his home. He still had it for you in his, you know, in the, in the home you now live in.

I know we're talking about my story and Jerry and all that, but you mentioned briefly the booties you were given that day.

Yeah.

There were two words to a compound word that you used that really hit me. You said they were hand knitted. She didn't go to the store and buy booties.

That's right.

She made them by hand and gave them to you. And the fact she did that was a deep of deeper meaning than buying a store gift. Store bought gift. I mean, it would still be a gift, but her hand knitting it said something. For Jury to physically repair parts of the home said something. But to bring us to his place and repair or hurt during that difficult season. Wow.

He was too happy.

I never ever thought of Jerry as preparing us before. And that's the biggest takeaway from this wonderful.

And the other big, bigger takeaway that I would get that on a continuum. It keeps coming up. He didn't have to do this. He wasn't compelled to do this. It wasn't out of sense of duty like sometimes it is in our families. Yeah, it was, you know, it's pure brotherly love. Genuine care in his pure sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For one moment he made you feel you mattered enough for him to go out of his way to help you. Yeah, we, we got to uncover sometimes we, we underestimate the most beautiful little gifts we have been given throughout our life and not appreciated. And for the, the depth that they have like, like you said, hand knitted booties. The man that had a folded $20 note that been sitting so long in that wallet and then decided one day to pick that up and give it to me. He didn't have to. It may, it may. You know, he was a pensioner. It would have meant a lot of money, $20 for him. That's what I was blown away. There is no amount of money from that $20 on that have. Has given me that oomph in my heart like that $20 note. No. No amount of money will ever give me what that day, that man gave me the same for you. What that man did, he didn't have to do. He got his money. He could have walked away. We all, you know, we get what we want in life and we walk away. Do we turn around and go back and care for the people? You know, even, you know, go beyond the service of the sale?

Yeah.

How many times do we make you get an experience, even in a transaction with stuff, wham, bam, thank you, ma', am, I got what I wanted and move on. Do we make people feel like that or do we generally care? Do we go out of our way no matter what? Or if they never even noticed it was us that did that, that gesture.

Not for any accolades or any kind of recognition.

I mean, what did he get out of it? You know, he didn't get more money from the house. He got much more than we don't yet know of that story. You also gave him something. And also he may have needed this love and care that you and Andrea gave to him because he left his home, his life. It's like leaving his baby. And he's got to grieve with that. And you helped him with that. You know, when we left our home of 45 years, I felt as if I left the baby in the house. You know, that weird feeling. I felt like I left the baby in the house when I. When those gates closed for the last time, you know, and that's when I realized, I said to the kids, no, no, no, no. We packed not only our furniture, but we packed our memories. They came with us. So this meant. Yeah, this, this meant even more for him as much as he did for you. And like I said, he kept on repairing, kept on fixing, kept making a difference. Do we? Do we?

I will never look at a store the same way again. And I will have a convo with this individual before ere long to get some deeper insights.

No doubt that he's going to tell you something that is going to.

I know, I know, I know.

We might have to do a follow up episode just so people aren't left hanging. It's like.

And also it's a perfect opportunity in your story now when you go back and you interview him, for him to now hear from your own words what he meant to you and. And the impact of his gestures over the years have been huge and will never be forgotten and will encourage you to pass that on to others. Make him give him a gift.

Wow. The gift that keeps on giving.

I feel like a fly on the wall. There's a Darren on the wall. And the people listening are listeners on the wall. This is what coaching is like. It's a series of questions going deeper, a skilled, skilled coach hearing some things that may make her say, ooh, there's more there. Ooh, there's more there. So we have to talk it out with someone who is qualified. If you want to work with Jennifer one on one jenniferleone.com au for sure you could also join Mark, me and Jennifer, Mark and Jennifer do our first call of the month. We do one every week at stagetime University. But you get this kind of insight. If this would be helpful to you, join us. Go to stagetimeuniversity.com, check it out. Join us. It's a fraction of the value that you get and you will find gold. So if listening to this episode was helpful to you, please join us. We'd love to have you join us. Jennifer, what are your closing thoughts on coaching Mark on this story?

I like the beauty of what we think is a simple story. And I found it over and over again. We have underestimated our simple stories because they become the most profound of all. And once, once you start digging and looking and digging and asking questions, you will find so much symbolism behind your characters, the simplicity of those stories. And that's what's going to be profound because we think we need to tell, you know, that Everest story that we kind. No, no, no, no. People don't want people. They're more moved by what you found from something so simple that has now completely has made you rethink the way you think in life. And also I found audiences found you told it from your point of view. You told it from their point of view because most times they don't. And then the effect of each, wow, now we didn't even touch on the area. You know, when it was a tough time for you, he felt something as little as it was that he made you feel. People care. Even just enough to make you feel you're going through a rough time. I may not know all the details, but I just want to know. I just want to let you know I care. We care. Look around you. Everyone cares enough for you to move on. Don't underestimate, underestimate that little thing that some gesture that you do or someone does for you.

Perfect example of what you said last week's episode of we only know half the story. They only bring me half the story. This is exactly that. So if you haven't listened to last week, go back and listen to last week. Episode 174 Love that you would get even more out of it and it would make this episode mean even more. Mark Brown, I get to ask you what was most important to you. I know you mentioned one thing, but are a couple things that really stood out.

I know. First of all, last week Jennifer mentioned this. Learning the other person's perspective and the idea of finding out what was going on in Jerry's heart. The whole process, through the sale of the house, coming back every once in a while and repeating a few things and then building the relationship, what was he seeing? What else stood out was the idea of by accepting the care, the compassion, the love that Jerry and Jennifer offered to Andrea and me, we were in effect, in effect actually blessing them by allowing them to serve us. And we know because we've been serving for so much for so many years in so many ways, we understand that. But actually receiving it was blessing them and allowing them to live out their values in a very meaningful way. Also, the perspective I mentioned before of very being the fixer of the whole, but it was so much more than that. Part of his role was to help fix us during a difficult time. And I'm inspired now to realize that we can also not be fixers so much, but we can be lovingly caring. Even as leaders, we can lead with compassion and care. And when it comes to sales, Jennifer said, this too is a service sale. You go beyond the service of sale. You go beyond what you provide in the moment. And the idea of transactional being transformational and being relational being perpetual, that's a mouthful and a head full as well. So there's a lot for me to glean from the good news is I get to listen it over and over again. And I'm so thankful I get to sharetofore untold story in this forum. Of course, it wasn't clean, it wasn't neat, it wasn't rehearsed. I will rework the story and at some point I will tell it again as part of a presentation. But I'm glad I could bring new material to my friends and the whole world quietly and not allow myself to receive the help that we all need when we're putting a new story together. So thank you, Jennifer. Thank you, Darren.

And sometimes we may be the ones in that audience that relate to Jerry. We may be a Jerry and we may think, well, what part do we play in this world? Who's going to notice us? So when you tell the story and you give him the pedestal and the praise that he deserves, the pedestal praise.

Love it.

Yeah. Then it makes us, you know, those that think they're the little people, we gotta. It's telling them, no, no, no, no. You make a huge difference in this world.

And we know this is our heart, that we come, the three of us come, that we want to help. We want you to tell your story again. Jenniferleone.comau getaspeakingcoach.com and you can find all of the coaches from stagetime or join us and get a taste stagetimeuniversity.com as a presentation mastery member. Love to have you and be part of our family. Knowing that I'm going to say something that's very bold and you may make some of you listening to this feel a little uncomfortable. But I believe because of my experience with Mark and because of what you just heard here, I believe there are two kinds of speakers or presenters. Those who see the value in a quality coach and those who will never ever reach their full potential. Because you can't coach yourself. Jennifer, thanks for being here. Thanks for letting us sit on the wall and watch you coach Mark Brown. Thanks for your vulnerability and your authenticity. You got so much credibility it's ridiculous. Happy to call you friends, both of you. If you're listening to this, find a coach, get a coach. Doesn't even have to be us, but find someone who can help reach into your life, reach into the stories you already have and show you this. So much more depth. Why? So you can be unforgettable. See you next week.

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