Ep. 176 The Critical Decision

Hey there, Mark Brown. Is there one critical decision that changes everything, that helps someone get on the path to be unforgettable?

Let's talk about that today, my friend.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time, stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, Ahas? Let's dive right in.

Hey there, Mark Brown. It's the new year. People are making resolutions and people. And we know the statistics, everyone knows the statistics. We don't even need to talk about that. But Mark Brown, the decision, the decision and even more importantly, the moment of decision, when you decide you are going to get on a path to be unforgettable. Tell us about your Mark moment.

Well, I tell you, it's funny. People say they set goals and I want to do this, I plan to do this. But for me, the moment I made the decision I wanted to become better as a presenter was actually in this. August of 1994. I had just competed in the Toastmasters World championship of public speaking. I had just finished as an also rank one of those guys who made the content necessary. And I sat in the ballroom of the Gault House in Louisville, Kentucky with my 7 year old son Joel on my lap. And he had been crying because daddy had tried so hard that he didn't win. It's not fair, you know, I'm trying to comfort him. And a man literally walked into my life. His name is David Brooks, the 1990 world champion of public speaking. And he said to me, mark, I don't mean to interrupt what's obviously a tender family moment, but I don't think I'll get to see you before I leave. I believe you're talented, you've got great potential. If I can help you, please let me know. And he handed me a business card. Is 1994 okay? This is 29 years ago. Handed me a business card. And he left. And I made a decision in that moment with my kid on my lap that I will call this man because he offered to help me. And as you know the story, Darren, the following day we got home to New York from Kentucky, literally dropped my bag, picked up my old fashioned push button dial phone with the handle on it and I called David Brooks and he said, hello, Says David Brooks. Yes, it's Mark Brown. Do you remember me? He said, mark, I met you yesterday. Well, David, you said you would help. Will you? He said, of course. And that began a mentoring relationship which literally changed the trajectory of my life, my career and my speaking. But the decision for the short answer is I made the decision on that Saturday afternoon in the Gaul's house in the ballroom with my 7 year old son crying next to me that I would get the help I needed from someone who offered. And Darren, you know the story. We often told a story that there were nine finalists, one champion. And David Brooks, who was on our podcast last year, said he offered his help to all the other finalists who did not win. And I was the only one who said yes. There's two parts to this one. It's deciding, yeah, I'm going to do that. But it's an acting upon the decision because many of us say, yeah, I'm going to do that. And let's be honest, if we're all honest, going back to the old business card, before the electronic business card, how many of us go to an event, a mixer, a meet and greet, a network, a convention and we go home with 83 business cards in a box somewhere. We put rubber band around it like one of these here and we toss them into a drawer and we leave them there. How do I know that? Ask me how I know that.

How do you know that?

I've done it time and time again. The difference is you decide and act on that decision. It has transformed my life.

Amen. And I love Mark that you're pointing out the action we can want to. I'm gonna. Yeah, but decide. I think it comes from, if my memory serves me correctly, it comes from a Latin term, decidre, and basically it means to burn the boats.

Oh wow, you are scolding me, man.

The old story of the, the guy who burned the boats. So there was no retreat, there was no going back, there was no, oh, maybe this will work, maybe this won't work. But I think once you decide, and for me it was in 2001, before I met you, when I decided to go with a coach. I had never been coached before and I said, you know what? I need someone now. I had to find somebody that I would trust, someone I'd be open to, someone who does coaching someone. But here's the key. When you make the decision, you're like, enough is enough. I'm not going to live this way anymore. But once you decide you're going to take the Action. You're going to take the class. You're going to take another class. You're going to find another class. You're going to find a coach. That coach doesn't work. You're going to find the right coach for you. You're going to find a different one. You decided. And I remember just I wanted. I wanted to be unforgettable. I wanted people to love me. We want the audience to love us. We want to be the speaker that everyone loves. Let's just face it. I think for most of us, that's part of the driver. Either we got the message or we want the love, or both. And nothing wrong with that. However, if you think you're going to figure it out on your own, you're freaking crazy.

I love what Mike Rayburn told you that time, Darren. What did he say to you again? Being self taught.

Oh. The problem with being self taught is the teacher's not that good. So how. But it starts with the decision. So, yes, it's New Year's and there's resolutions, but we're not asking to make a resolution. We're asking you to decide. Decide. And if you have, keep going. Find a new way, Find another path. I had many coaches and many mentors along the way, but I learned different things, things that I needed to learn from each of them. So it's not just like one and done. It's one. This one, that one, this one, this lesson. This is an aha. That I need. I love Ed Tate's analogy of the Swiss cheese. It's like, if you picture the Swiss cheese, there's different size holes in different areas on every slice. Well, every presenter has those natural gifts, has the stories inside them. But they probably need help finding the right story. They probably need help telling the right story. The audience needs to hear something in your story that you're too close to understand and identify. So it happens with the decision. Once I decided I was gonna get a coach, then I started searching. And then I found David McElhaney. He wasn't a world champion, but he was someone that I trusted, that I would be open to. And I finally decided enough was enough. And. And Mark, you know, I'm animated. People know I'm animated. But before getting coached, I was animated. And that was it. I was animated, but yet lacked impact. So it was like watching a train wreck. Well, I would. People would watch me, like, looking at a train wreck and, oh, my gosh, wow. And I might intrigue them, but nothing changed after. And that's what I Knew what was missing, that I couldn't just amp up my animatedness.

I want to go back to one line you delivered. I often tease Darren about not, you know, you and your. Your lines of wisdom and your mantras, but you said, we're not asking you to make a resolution. We're asking you to make a decision. And that's huge. Right now. We're recording this at the beginning of January 2023, brand new year, and people are big on their resolutions. Yeah, I resolve, too. That's nice. I'm going to do that. And we all know how resolutions work out for most of us when you make a decision and then commit to that decision, which means taking the necessary steps to make that decision, become what it can be. This is perfect for all of us right now, especially those of us who like the idea of a New Year's resolution. And we're not going into weight loss or anything like that, but we're talking about the decision that leads us not only goes us or prompts us, but leads us into taking the necessary, necessary steps to be unforgettable. I want to bring you back very quickly, friends, to last week's episode when coach Jennifer Leone, he is the master of story digging. I was more than willing to submit myself to her coaching because, listen, I decided I need to be better every single day. I have proclaimed for years, if I stop learning, I stop living. How can I be better tomorrow than I am today? And one of those ways was to submit myself to coaching as a coach, as a world champion, as a certified speaking professional. I made the decision to submit myself to that because it's a way for me to grow and develop my own storytelling and become better. But we have to decide. We need to do what is necessary to improve, no matter how good we are right now. And the decision must lead to action.

The decision. And I want to just point this out because we talk about Mark Brown going home and calling David Brooks as soon as he got home, but he made the decision before that.

Yeah.

The decision precedes the transformation.

Oh, I gotta write that down. Oh, man. Darren, what happened to you?

This transformation. Praying helps. So until you decide, it's, you know, in 17 minutes to your dream, I say that a dream isn't something that you wish for. It's something that you work for.

So.

The work isn't done. And, Mark, I don't know if you have handy, your different revisions from David Brooks.

Yeah, I can show that. You know what's in my drawer over here?

When you make a decision it's not like, oh, I'm going to do a coaching session, I'm going to take a class. No, this is. For those of you watching the YouTube version, you see many, many iterations.

The script changes and everything.

And for those of you who are recycle fans and don't like that, they're all printed out. This is a day before we had. These are faxes, 1995 faxes.

Yes. These are faxes before, email, before.

But the decision happened. And now you see all of those iterations. But all those iterations came to the impact that Mark had that day. If you haven't seen Mark's speech, we talk about it in early, early episodes, I think two or three. You can see it on YouTube. It's still relevant 60 years later. I mean.

Colorized, remastered version. Darren, don't you say thank you?

No. Over 20, 25 years later, still relevant. Why? Because of the work he did. But the work came from the decision.

It starts with a decision. That's it.

Yep. You gotta say, enough is enough. This ain't working out. Hey, you can work really hard. However, decide that you want to be unforgettable and it's going to change your trajectory.

Thank you for saying that, Darren. And here's a tricky thing I got to share with you from my own heart and my own experience. Sometimes that decision has to be made at what we perceive to be a high point in our life and career. Let me clarify what I mean by that. I had the blessing of addressing an organization in a keynote in Texas several years ago. And I'd gone to their website and I'd seen the work they'd done and they had proclaimed that they were the best at what they do. And they probably were. And bold me. I go up with my keynote and I open with a slide of your website and the proclamation of how good they are, what they did, the results they got. And I said, that's your problem right there. You're good and you know it and you're comfortable there. See, you look at me like, what's this guy doing? We're paying him to yell at us to call it, you know. I said, no, give me a carefully. You are so good at what you do. You are unequal and you're comfortable there. Maybe it's time to decide, is there more that we can do and is there more that we can be? So you and I may be in a very comfortable place. We're doing very good work. We're solid, we feel. We are so good. We are memorable. When we deliver our presentations, we're wonderful trainers and facilitators. We're good at that. And you may be that good, but is now the time to decide to. As Emeril Lagasse, the chef would say, kick it up a notch. Bam. If you're not sure who that is, you can look him up. The famous chef Emery Lagasse would always say, kick it up a notch. If we decide today, what can I do better in one aspect of my career as a presenter, how can I improve? How can I change my trajectory in one aspect of my. Of my business or my profession as a presenter? Can I tell better stories? Can I insert better dialogue? Can I tighten my talks better? Can I handle the stage more efficiently? If we decide today to elevate one aspect of our presentations, where could we be one year from now if we make it a habit to decide on one thing, I can change work on it. Darren, you did that when you were competing. You said, I'll take a story of my keynote. I'm going to work on it. I'm going to work on it. I'm going to make it work and improve it and put it back in my keynote. What did that decision and the subsequent action do for you along that journey?

It changed everything. You know, it's that mindset that you bring to not just your preparation, but your delivery. And then the fact that you decided to record it and then you decided to go back and listen to that recording.

That last part. Darren, I know it's one of your biggest bugaboos. It drives you crazy.

And look, it's your choice. You're listening to this podcast, you're listening to this podcast for a reason, because you want some new ideas, some new tips, some new insights, how to be unforgettable. But we're telling you that the most important thing is the decision that you make, that you're going to be. If you're just looking for tips, great. We hope you. We do hope you find them. But in your life, any aspect that you want to focus on, have you decided. Have you decided to be unforgettable? Have you decided to be the best? And if we sat back and looked at a week of your life, would we see evidence of that?

Ouch. Man. Darren, stepping on toes right here, man. Wow.

Hey, we didn't create the better than average podcast.

I hear that. A week of your life, man. You know what's really interesting, Darren, about that and the decision? I had a coaching client worked with for a year, and they signed up for Another year of coaching with me because they made a decision that they want to be even better at what they do. And they are good and they're a planner, they're very structured. But I tell you, this particular individual, when they make a decision, they go for it. And that's why they're continuing to increase their performance level, their impact level. Because for them, as good as I may get, is it really good enough? So I go back to what I told a particular organization. Sometimes where we are, we're so good, we're safe, we're comfortable, we're effective. But how can we be even better? It starts with that decision.

When you decide, it brings that mindset and I think that's the critical factor. It brings your mindset to again, your preparation, your delivery, your preparation from last time. But it changes your connection to you and your work and what you are doing. Like the decision affects your brain. I mean we've seen this in everything. If there's things you care about, don't care about, you look at it differently. Please understand we are here. We want you to impact your audience. We want you to be loved. We want you to be unforgettable. But it starts step one, the decision. You got talents. You have different talents than other people. You have a different Persona than other people. You have different stories than other people. Yet it's the decision that sets the trajectory, that sets the audience impact. Because the audience can tell when you're there for them.

Yeah. And here's a challenge, if you will want to call it a challenge. We often think of the New year. We make our resolutions and we're very forward thinking. I would ask you to consider this decision. I'm going to review my year, to chart my progress and my growth. And if I can see growth progress that took place last year, I'm going to decide that this is not the end of my journey. I'm going to decide to work on one specific area of my presentations. And for you, that decision may be the painful one of reviewing every recording of every presentation that you made last year. Now I know Darren talks about it, but listen, his VHS videotape cabinet is proof of what he did. And if you and I have the luxury of going on our phones to our own YouTube video, our own Vimeo video, go to our files that we put on our laptop and our hard drives. If you have recorded anything you've done, if you're a part of our stage time university worldwide community, look at your member to member feedbacks video submissions Watch your earliest submission and look at your latest and see if you can find some progress. Then identify what else you need to do. Make that decision today. Before you end, listen to this podcast and say, I'm going to do something. Figure out what it is. It could be getting coached on a call. It could be hiring a coach. It could be delivering more presentations. Whatever it may be. Make a decision today to do something that's going to elevate your level of excellence and make you that much more unforgettable. So look back to make progress. That's one decision you and I can both make to help us become better at what we do. But we have to decide now and then act on it. We want you to be unforgettable. We want you to continue to improve, to be better every single day. If you have a website, decide to do the painful work of reviewing your website. I'm doing the exact same thing today. I sent a note to my webmaster about content on my website. I had to make the decision. I had to begin to make those changes. I had to make contact with the webmaster. I had to take immediate action. One of your decisions could be, you know what? I've thought about maybe becoming a part of a mastermind, and you thought about it for the past seven months. Now decide to do it. You're laughing. Okay. I mean, I could go on and on and on about the book you want to write. We have these dreams, we have these goals, but we have to make a decision and act on it for this year to be a transformational year. So I challenge you to look at your material, look at your site, to look at your social media presence and decide what is the best way for me to have impact and be memorable, indeed, Even unforgettable in 2023 and beyond, to use a cliche.

All right, so here's the thing. This podcast is usually 40, 50 minutes. Okay? We're going to give you an extra 20 minutes to just think about your decision. So we've said enough. It's the decision. If you decided before, sometimes we get waylaid. Decide again, just recommit to being unforgettable. Here's another thing. Don't overwhelm yourself that I got to be great at every aspect of my speech. Today. I'm going to work on my intro, my opening, my clip. Another day. You're closing another day. One story. It doesn't become all at once, but if you are on that mission. Mark, I love that you always point out when we're doing webinars and trainings, I'll stop and correct a slide right then and there because the thought hit me. You keep carrying it. Does it disrupt the flow a little bit? Yeah, but it makes it so much better next time. But we're also being the example that it's that constant improvement. Mark Brown, I want to give him time to decide. Final thoughts.

My thought is this shameless plug. Okay, this past year we released the book Deliver Unforgettable Presentations. Maybe you can decide, hey, I'll get the book, I'll read it. But more importantly, I'll take at least one chapter. I'll dive deep into that one chapter and implement that idea starting today. And elevate the level of performance you deliver in any presentation, any training, any workshop. We want you not to be not only good, to be great, to be unforgettable. And that's why we're going to leave. You go and say, listen, make the critical decision and be unforgettable. See you next week.

We're going to ask you next week, did you decide?

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