Ep. 186 Your Coming-of-Age Story

Hey there, Mark Brown. Flow with the go. I love that you just said that to me before we hit record.

Love that I want to flow with the go.

Hey, if you were with us last week, we talked about your next step. If you hadn't checked that out, please check it out. But this week we're going to be talking about your coming of age story.

How did we get here? How did you get here? Let's find out, shall we?

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time, Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, AHAs, let's dive right in.

All right, Mark, your coming of age story. If you're listening to this and you are a professional speaker, what's your coming of age story? And have you shared that with other emerging professional speakers? They might need to hear it because they might look at you and think, wow, you know, it's easy for them, but somewhere, some way, somewhere along the way, you had to have that moment where all of a sudden you knew, I'm a professional speaker. Now, everyone doesn't start that way.

That's true. I know perhaps many of our viewers, listeners are thinking, what tips can I get about being on the platform, delivering a speech every time they hear the podcast? One of our goals of the podcast is to give you a broad picture of what it means to be a presenter. And sometimes we need to be introspective and take a look back at what our journey has been like, and here's why. Part of being unforgettable is the way you have other individuals along their journey as well. And Darren and I both have had so much help, so many trips and falls, so many failures and so many missteps. But the journey itself can be really an integral part of encouraging others along their journey. Specifically today, though, I love the question, how did you know that this was what you're going to do and who you are going to be? I'll briefly share a part of my journey, Darren. As you know, I was a mainframe computer programmer at Reader's Digest in New York when I was blessed enough to win the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking. And I thought to myself, man, eventually it'll be cool to be a great speaker and travel the world and be the next, I don't know, Tony Robbins or Les Brown. But the reality was I had to go to work every day at Reader's Digest and type computer code in as a mainframe computer programmer. If you're a millennial, that phrase mainframe computer programmer, you can Google it or ask Siri if you're Siri us about it. First bad point of the day. But here's the deal. I would deliver presentations at Lions and Rotary clubs, service organizations in the vicinity surrounding Reader's Digest. Up in Chappaqua, New York, I'd hop out for an early lunch. I'd go five miles down the road and speak at a Rotary lunch and hurry back to work and go back to my desk and I was paid the official rubber chicken lunch. I even did breakfast at a Lions club down in somewhere in Tarrytown, New York in the morning before work. But I began to get my experience, my exposure and my expertise. I call that my triple X rating by delivering these free presentations before work, at lunch, at times, after work. And it was fun. At some point though, it began to shift in my mind that I can do this, I could do this and I should do this. But that didn't happen overnight. It was part of a journey. Now, perhaps you're on that journey right now yourself, and you're wondering, am I meant to do this? I can't tell you yes or no. But sometimes the journey in itself speaks to you. I know Darren's journey was different than mine, and maybe he can add some more insight to this. But here's the first point I want to make. Your journey will often tell you when it's time to make that decision. Bearing in mind sometimes people will go and become a speaker professionally, but they'll do it part time, for weeks, for months, maybe even years. Your journey and your coming of age is yours and yours alone. I will say one final thought on this, though. At this point, your heart will tell you if you need to do this, if you must do this. And I'm hoping that Darren Lacroix will give you a piece of his coming of age story when he was sitting at his desk working for both speakers. But I shouldn't tell your story, Darren. Just give us a hint of what your journey was like.

Well, and I want to bring up why this matters. So, number one, to encourage other people the way you were encouraged along your journey, from whoever your mentors were, someone probably needs to hear it because they look at you and think, boom, you were just born a keynote speaker. Well, that didn't happen. A lot of people don't know. Ford Sakes, Craig Valentine, Ed Tate, all started working for public seminar companies, teaching other people's content, as well as Mark Sanborn as well. These are some legends in the speaking world, and yet they started by teaching other people's content to get started. So wherever you are, it's just part of your journey. And if you haven't had your coming of age story happen, we're just here to tell you, keep going, you're gonna have it. Especially if your heart is there and you want to help the audience, it's gonna come and someday and you'll tell a story about that presentation where all of a sudden you knew. So, Mark, I joined nsa, the Nashville Speakers Association. I got my name into the NSA catalog. They had a physical catalog back in the day. And I can honestly say I've never gotten a call from being listed there.

Interesting.

Except one. And I remember it was about 1997, and my mentor, David Fitzgerald had told me about his first. His first. He was a comedian. How did you know? How did you know when you were a comedian? And I was asking him and he said, you know what? It was the first time that I got on a plane to give a comedy routine. When I had to get on a plane, I started thinking about, like, the day that I get booked and someone is paying for a plane ticket and a hotel. In my mind, that's when I would be a professional. So, Mark, the first call I got, it was in Panama City. Now listen to this moment. Panama City, Florida. Listen to this moment, though. I had been doing fee presentations in New England, but I never felt like I was a professional speaker. I felt like the imposter that I'm going to be found out. He's really not that good, you know. And so I thought listening to Dave Fitzgerald, that, okay, my first gig, when I get on a plane, that's when I know that I'll make it, or I've made it, at least at the beginning point. So I went there to Panama City, and because I didn't have great material back then, this is before my book came out, Laugh and Get Rich. I overcompensated by getting to know the audience because I didn't have enough material. So it was great practice because I get to know them. I called people ahead of time. I did the interviews. Mark, you know, we've talked about that on the podcast before, but it started because at the beginning I didn't have enough material because I did stand up comedy some of the stories and jokes would work in a professional setting, but some of them would not. So I had to kind of fill the void. And I was still building my keynote. But Mark, here was the moment. So I did the extra homework, I got up on stage, I was freaking nervous as all heck, but I got on stage, I did my thing, they laughed. You know, the cool thing about being a humor person in a corporate presentation is usually the other people aren't. So you don't have to be hysterical to stand out. Any light heartedness helps you stand out in a boring presentation conference. But here was the moment. Mark, two things happened. I was walking in the hall. Now keep in mind who I was. The introvert. I was not the Mark Brown natural born teacher. I'm the introvert, the person, the wallflower. I'm walking down the hallway after my presentation and nobody knew me there before the presentation. So I'm walking down the hall, just another young, almost bald guy at that point. And a woman. Mark, this is the moment. A woman turned to me, saw me across the hallway and smiled. I got choked up in that moment because she smiled because I had made her laugh. And it was so freaking magical that one moment that I. She didn't know me. I went up on stage, I did my thing, I served her. And I'll always remember that moment. And then I remember I had the rush to grab the shuttle van to get to the airport because my presentation was over. And I went to the front desk and I asked about the shuttle and she said there are no more shuttles. In fact, they're all gone. However, we're going to take care of you. There's a stretch limousine outside And Mark, I kid you not, I got into the back of the limo, they shuttled me to the airport and all I could hear in my head was that song. Those little friends of mine, if they could see me now, they wouldn't believe it. I didn't believe it. And it was to me, it was a God moment. That, yeah, this is what you're supposed to do. You are a professional speaker. And Mark, those two moments after my presentation were when that was my coming of age. I got on a plane, they allowed me to come back and that was just. That was when. Now I'm a professional speaker.

Thank you for the detail, Darren, because I know I didn't give much detail. I mentioned Lions Club, Rotary Club and all that in the morning at lunch. I was at the time just trying to get opportunities to speak. I had a pretty decent job at Reader's Digest. But during that process, I remember my first free paid speech, which sounds like a paradox. Let me explain. I had agreed to work to deliver a presentation for a particular organization. I don't even know how they heard of me. But they called me in my office at Reader's Digestion and they said, could you come and do a talk for us right, right here in White Plains, New York, which is about a 12 minute drive. If you're going fast down the parkway, don't tell the cops. But I said, I'll do it. And I went into White Plains. At this event, they had maybe a couple hundred people. It was a luncheon event and I gave a presentation at a time I customized for the audience. Even though at the time I didn't know what customization was, by definition, everything I said landed. It worked. They laughed, they responded, they applauded. I don't remember if I got a standing ovation. And please don't speak for standing ovations. If it's a good. If you do a good job, it'll be a byproduct. But I do remember when I was about to go back to my office after my long lunch break, the organizer came to me with a big smile on her face. She thanked me and she gave me an envelope with a greeting card in it. I was surprised, but thank you card. Cool. I pocket that thing, I hurry back to my office, open it up and was a crisp C note, $100 bill with a thank you handwritten by the organizer. I agree. I had agreed to do a no compensation presentation. I only wanted to get out there with this message that I wrote deliberately for them. I crafted for them for free. It was a zero fee engagement and I got this $100 bill and I thought, my goodness, perhaps I have arrived here. And I could not wait to tell my wife what happened, how great it was. Somebody actually gave me cash money for a presentation I'd done. Toastmasters District keynote for my local District 4 New York in Queens, New York earlier. And I've been doing these Kiwanis and Rotaries and Lions Service clubs. But someone said they ascribed a financial value as a thank you to what I had done. And I realized that as I was growing as a presenter, there are people who saw value in what I was doing. And I had the emotional, I don't want to say rush, but it was the overwhelming realization I had served them so well. They were willing to ascribe value not just to my presentation, what it meant to them as an organization and that sort of Hit me. And I remember part of the journey here, Darren. When that happened and I realized I could do something with this presentation, I began actively seeking out opportunities to be a presenter. The biggest catalyst came when the senior vice president of information systems at Reader's Digestion called me in my office one day, even though positionally I was about four or five levels below him. His name was Ken Nelson. And he asked me a question off the bat. Mark. Yes, sir. Ken Nelson. Yes, sir. I got a question for you. Yes, sir. Why do you work for me? What? He said, mark, I've seen you speak. I've heard what you do. You spoke for our executive committee one time. You spoke for IR department wide meeting one time. You have a gift and a talent here. Why do you work for me? Here's a guy who runs our division who knows I'm good at what I do. And he basically said, we are not using you in the best way possible for your skills, your gifts and your talent. We need to find a better way to use what you have. So part of my coming of age story, I wanted to catch these people, friends, is that sometimes part of my coming of age story is the fact that someone else saw the value I could provide. Not only the client who got the free speech, but someone who worked in my division who realized I could better serve my world delivering presentations rather than typing computer code, which I become quite adept at. But he said, what's the best way to use what you have? And there may come a time in your journey where someone will say, my goodness, do you realize what you have to offer? And that may be for you. Perhaps you've been there. Perhaps right now there's someone hearing my voice who is struggling with the very idea. Someone said, you gave us value, but you're looking at the safety of your job, of the career you currently have. Take some advice from my friend and our fellow world champion, Jim Key. Jim Key speaks professionally, but he has retained his current professional job at the same time. That may be an option for you, but this coming of age story could be telling you, you need to be more out there. You need to deliver to the audience of the world what they need it only you can provide. I don't know exactly what arc your story will take or think about this. You will know in your heart there'll be a story. There'll be something that says, you know what I need to find my path. And the story is this, Darren. We began to look at ways to use my gifts within Reader's Digest. Look at you Know human resources or looking at marketing and publications. And how could I go and talk about what we do? I even spoke at the local historic society in Worcester County, Bedford Hills, New York. I spoke as a Reader's Digest representative to tell the history of Reader's Digest in that area as a means of finding out, is this the lane I must be in? It took a couple of years to pick a lane, but eventually they found a place for me, delivering messages to schools across North America, as a result of which I've spoken to over 1 million middle and high school students across North America since 1996. I say that not as a brag, but to explain that my journey, my story arc, may not look like yours, from three speeches and Rotary clubs to schools all across North America to now having been on five continents. But there's a moment where I began to actively pursue what I believe was my calling, my purpose on this planet. The question is, are you hearing the knock? Are you hearing the voice? Are you feeling a stirring? Our audience is telling you we need your message. Is someone, a mentor, like a Dave Fitzgerald telling you, hey, you need to do this? What's your story?

Yeah. Make no mistake, this is why we encourage you to make the decision to strive for unforgettable.

Excellent.

You can strive for being a good speaker, you could strive for being a great speaker. But when you strive to be unforgettable, if you're taking notes, write this down. Dollars, follow, impact. Dollars, follow, impact. Mark gave a free speech, had so much impact, they wanted to hand him $100. So it was a coming of age story for Mark, but he delivered the value first. More people saw his value. People talked about his value. They found a position for him because of his value. That's because he became unforgettable. So for you in your journey, make the decision to strive for unforgettable. Mark. I heard an interview from a famous actor, actress. I won't say her name, but it was a great interview and a great insight. Her mentor said to her or asked her a question, do you want to be an actor or do you want to be a movie star? Do you want to be good or do you want to be unforgettable? There's a different path, but it comes from that commitment. So we're encouraging you. If you have a coming of age story, please share it. And here's another way you might not have considered sharing it. Let's say you are speaking to a group of entrepreneurs. Well, you could talk to them about their coming of age story. How did you know you wanted to be an entrepreneur? When did you know you wanted to be an entrepreneur? So in your interviews ahead of time you could get a couple of stories, but now you can tell your story of how you knew you became a speaker or an expert or a coach or a consultant, whatever you are, so you can relate your story to their world. If they're bank managers, how did you know you were going to become a bank manager? Like, what is that? So we can use it to make it relatable. Because in every industry, in every company, there's coming of age stories. So it can be relatable in that way as well.

One more thought for you regarding your coming of age story. And this may seem a little bit odd or maybe even quirky. It's also possible you could be in the midst of your own coming of age story now. And here's what I mean by that. Think about this. Are there individuals, are there people who you trust who are encouraging you to speak more often, to tell your story, to share your expertise? Are people inviting you to speak to their organizations, their societies, their groups, their youth? Are people saying, hey, we need what you have to offer and you may have some doubt? I don't know, I've got this going on in my life. Maybe your coming of age story is talking to you right now and you need to hear or listen more closely to what's happening. Because the last thing any of us want to do is this, knowing that we have value to provide, failing to do so because it might be uncomfortable. The truth is coming of age and taking the leap can be downright scary. But behind all of that, think of the value you have to offer and the lives you can change when you're willing to take that step.

Thank you, Mark Brown. And if you have committed to being unforgettable, we encourage you, like we mentioned last week, your next step. Join us for our upcoming event. Mark Me, Patricia Fripp Ford Sakes, Ed Tate live in Las Vegas. Game changers. You can join us live or you can join us virtually. Go to stagetime live. Share your coming of age story. If you're still developing that story, it starts with that decision to become unforgettable. The dollars will follow, impact you, impact people. There's going to be positive side effects because what we do and how we do it at the highest level is rare. You will stand out. People will know you, will hear about you and they'll talk about you. Like we say in the book, Mark speak to be remembered and repeated. So Mark Brown, your coming of age story. Take us home.

Well, as I said before, you may be in the midst of your story right now. Take some time, think about it and ask yourself, how can I be impactful and unforgettable? We'll see you next week.

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