Ep. 226 Match Their Energy?

Hey there, Mark Brown.

Oh, what's up? You seem to be low on energy, buddy. What's going on?

Well, you know. Oh, my goodness. Hey, Mark Brown. How are you today?

What's up?

Oh, my goodness, Mark, I had something happen to me recently where somebody walked up to me, the event planner, and said he, you know, I just thought you were gonna start with higher energy. You know, that's one of the reasons I brought you in. And it was fascinating because it made me think.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcast with your host, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

Mark, this is a pen in my mouth. It's not a thermometer, but I'm trying to get it under my tongue to take my temperature.

Well, with a pen in your mouth, your temperature will. That depends. Oh, man, sorry. Sorry.

I don't have the sound machine ready. Bam. No, Mark, it was a. It was interesting because I had it set me back because this planner who brought me in was like, you started off with low energy. That's not necessarily my thing. I'm more high energy, animated. But I had to stop and back up and ask, why? What was I doing? And I didn't realize it, but when I reflected on it, I realized I did it naturally. I don't even think about it anymore. It's just because you and I have been doing this for 30 years, that's scary to say that we gotta match the energy of the room. It's almost like if you've ever had a conversation with somebody and they were in the same room as you and like, somebody, some big travesty or tragedy just happened and it's a somber thing, or if somebody walked into a funeral, hey, how's everyone doing? I'd be like, what? What are you, like, read the room, bro. You're at a funeral. Like, why are you yelling? And. And with such joy. And it just. There's a disconnect.

You're so right. And the reason I'm chuckling. Forgive me, David. I'm chuckling because you.

Have you done that before?

Once in a. Once in a while. Because you told me a story very early on about you and the energy at an event at A church where you wanted to pump the people up and get applause for somebody who had spoken. And you realized that was not the appropriate time for that level of energy. Do you want to share that or not?

Oh, boy.

It might be cool.

It was a. It was a. It was a family. A story I tell about a family reunion where I was dating somebody. It was a big day. I was going to meet the family, and it's outdoor barbecue and under a tent, there's a whole group of people listening to somebody present. And they. And I just walked in in the middle of it. And then all of a sudden, the. The first presenter finished and. And walked away. And I was like, what? Nobody applauded, like, what is going on here? And so I tried to just get naturally, get the applause going. And one or two people clapped and I'm like, this is weird. I don't know if I want to be a part of this family.

Low energy, right? Low energy in the family.

Yeah. And then the next person came up to the front of the room and said, and now for our second reading. It was a mass. It was a service. It was. Oh, man. I thought it was a speaker speaking. I was wrong. It was just funny because I just. I was beating myself up and the woman I was seeing at the time just started laughing. She thought it was the funniest thing. And it was funny in retrospect, but in the moment, it wasn't funny. But I didn't read the room, right? I didn't know. I didn't know what was going on. Even though my intention was good, my behavior was awkward in that situation. And so at this event, I came on low energy and I was matching the room. And for you and I, if you walk into a network marketing company and they're on the ceiling, pumped up, they got the music jamming, everybody's dancing, and you walk on. Good morning. It's so nice to be here with you today. People be like, what? Read the room, dude, we're pumped. Now, look, I connected with them where they were, but then I took them where I wanted to go. So we say this. You must connect first. You must connect before you educate, entertain, or inspire. And part of that connection is being aware of their energy and then matching that energy at the beginning and then taking you on your journey. So even if it was a network marketing company and they're on the ceiling, you can start up there and then in some of your stories, bring them down for a dramatic moment and they'll go with you.

You mentioned lift them. That Works two ways, you said. Also, you could start high and then bring them down to where they are thoughtful, they're pensive, you're thinking about what you have to say. You're processing. But you and I also, Darren, have seen the opposite, where someone comes on and they start at a 9, and the audience is like, whoa, what just happened? And sometimes they stay there for 35 minutes. And we've seen that before. I believe you were kind enough to educate a speaker we both had at an event one time who was just a 9, and he stayed there for the entire presentation. And part of reading the room, I want to dig a little bit deeper here. Part of reading the room is not just reading in the room. It is the atmosphere of the event. What's happening at the event? What's happening in the hallway was some news just delivered by the CFO that may cause people to sit back and say, wait, I need to process this. That's one reason that I admire what you always teach. You always teach. Go in at least a day early to find out what's happening at the event. I can remember one event I attended. I've been in contact and I've told a story before with the CEO several weeks before the event and the week before the event. He went dark, silent. I mean, crickets could not reach the guy. I did have the meeting planner and also his assistant on tap. I was in contact with them, got to the event, all set. And when I get to the event, I find out before I speak, the CEO was released by the board a couple days earlier, or the entire company was in a place where I'm talking about how to be your best, elevate excellence, energy. And I had to understand where they were as an organization. I had to be flexible enough to customize my remarks, but I couldn't go on stage or fire, and I just. I could not do that at that time.

My.

My assignment was to encourage them to elevate their level of excellence and to make their best even better. But I had to start at a place where they were sitting at a time both mentally and psychologically and for some, emotionally. And I say all that to say back to what you teach, Darren. Going early, go to the mixer, keep your ear to the ground, talk to people, find out what's happening on the day. Because in corporate America or in the world, a circumstance can change just like that. And you, as the professional who was brought in and paid the big bucks to serve them, have to be aware of that.

Yeah, we gotta be on the pulse. Mark, right here on the pulse.

Finger on the pulse.

That's right.

Exactly. That's it. Or here, if you are there.

Or there.

Yes.

In terms of researching the organization ahead of time, what are their newsletters? What is top of mind for them? So that way we can also emotionally connect into that energy, charge that thought. Top of mind idea.

Yeah. And just say that, Darren, you're right. I love the idea. Research, top of mind. And someone told me this years ago, it's a simple technique. If you go to the company's website or even Google, you could do that. You could Google the company, and rather than look for all or for videos or for images, click on news. And sometimes that news tab will tell you what happened yesterday or last week. And you may say, oh, I didn't realize that happened with the company. Ooh. With that new knowledge, I can go in with the right energy level and still take them where you need. Where I need to be. But simply be aware, Darren, you're right. Research and see what's top of mind for them as you serve your audience.

And if I can't be there a day early and spend the day before with them, which is what I like to do, if I just come in that day and I'm speaking after lunch, in the hallways, over coffee, at breakfast, I'll just ask people what's so far during the event, what were the highs and what were the lows? And that way I can also know if there was a funny joke, I can tap into that and use it as a callback. If there was a down moment, I can maybe take that down moment and connect it to one of my stories that matches that energy or that idea or that insight. So there's a lot we can do, but we've got to be careful that we need to read the room. Read the room. And where's their energy level at? Match them and then take them on your journey. So I did bring the energy up after I connected with them. Because if they're on the ceiling, number 10, and you come in at number two. Unless. Okay, there's always an exception if you're doing it for comedic purposes, something like that. Like they're on the ceiling and I come in high. Good morning. I'm really glad to be here.

What?

So I could do the opposite to make a point. Again, that's the exception. But for the most part, we gotta see where they're at, connect with them, loving them. Just like if you're walking into a conversation, just like you're walking into the room on stage, you're walking into a conversation, you wanna kinda get on the pulse, see what's happening, see where people's emotions are and sincerely almost listen to the energy, listen before you speak and serve you.

Listen, serve yourself well, you owe yourself as a presenter the responsibility, the duty of care to never ever walk into a room and go, ooh, didn't see that coming or what just happened. It is our responsibility as servants of the organization to be as aware as possible of what's happening. Please don't find yourself walking in and thinking, oh, I didn't see that coming, didn't expect that. What happened? What did I miss? And we can avoid the what did I miss by following Darren's, Darren's ideas and certainly doing all that we can to serve them. And there's one more thought I do want to share. I know we work our tails off, prepare the best content we have to serve our audiences and we should we bring our knowledge, our experience, our expertise or tips, tools and techniques. Yes, that's great, all of it. But let's not think solely of what I am going to give them, but think in terms of how am I going to serve them. And serving them involves finding out exactly where they are at that time. At times matching the energy and getting to that place where you want them to be. May take some time and may take some work but coming in where they are and maybe a little bit higher depending on again, Darren says they're all exceptional. There are always exceptions. But coming in where they are sends the message, I'm with you, sends a message I understand where you are, sends a message I desire to connect with you and relate to you. And when the audience feels that level of comfort with you, they're much more inclined to go along the go along with you on the journey of preparedness to take them.

We got a match. And by the way, there's always going to be, there's still going to be as prepared as we are. We can do that most of the time but there's still always going to be. Didn't see that coming because it could happen like in your introduction, you know, somebody could unaware be reading your introduction and oh wait, we have an announcement. You know there was an accident right outside. You can be prepared as you want and there's still going to be a not saw that coming but we can avoid most of them. We can be prepared for most of those situations. We just have to prepare, match their energy, read the room. Are people happy? Are they sad, are they joyful, are they Inspired. Like if they're inspired, we got to continue with the inspiration, match it, hold their hand and take them on your ride.

Now I'm curious, Darren, to kind of close the loop on your story. The meeting panel came to you afterwards and said you didn't start where I thought you did, but how did that conversation end up and what was the experience like for the audience at the end of the presentation?

Yeah, we didn't actually have the conversation after. I had to reflect on it for a day or two and then I realized what happened. So we didn't actually close the loop, but I closed it in my head. I was like, yeah, but I left them where the meeting planner wanted me to leave them at the end. Pumped up, excited, with a plan. Because it had been a motivational seminar day and I was the closing speaker. So I tied into what everybody else said but then turned it into, okay, here's what we're gonna do. So I had fun. I delivered it. I still wasn't at top energy, but it was a small room and it didn't seem as I felt. I did what I was supposed to do. And the more you get on stage, the more experience you have, the more you're just going to do some of these things naturally if you want to have the right. If you have the right intention and connect well.

Something you just said, Darren, triggered a thought in my mind. Scary, I know, but you said it was a small room. Friends, think about the environment in which you will be because there are times you make expect a large audience in a large room. You get a smaller audience in a large room and sometimes it is SRO standing room only. When we say be aware of the energy in the room, we also invite you to be aware of the room itself because sometimes the room itself may require a little bit of an energy boost. Darren, I know you've been in the old bowling alley room before where the room is narrow and long and sometimes just the the room is laid out requires a different dynamic. The key here is sensitivity to the needs of the audience. That's probably the most important aspect to be sensitive to what the audience needs now. Very quickly, Darren, regarding reading the room, one of the most difficult assignments I've ever been given was with a national insurance company some years ago and I had to go in for the whole three days because when I read when my agent arranged for the for the program, I didn't realize what the client landed on until I saw the draft of the agenda. I was a closing keynote speaker and in the description I'm sorry. In the description in the brochure, it said, reflecting on the events of the week, our closing keynote, Mark Brown will share his ideas to inspire us to be our best. Reflecting on the events of the week meant I had to go in for the entire event. I sat in sessions, I heard the opening keynote, I went to breakouts, I talked to people in the hall, and it gave me three days to not just feel the room, but to feel the event. Will you always have that opportunity? Quite likely not. But if you do, it can be a game changer. So when the time comes, you can be at the correct energy. You can bring the audience where you need to need them to be. And the benefit, the plus is many of them would have had, would have met you during the three days prior to the event, built some kind of rapport with you before. Rapport? We'll talk about that some other time. That gives you a chance to understand not only what's happening in the room that day, but you get a feel for the organization, for the event itself, and then you are really best equipped to serve that audience and to match their energy.

Yeah, we're paid to adapt to the situation. We bring our expertise, absolutely. But we're also paid as professionals to adapt to the setting, to the energy, to the situation. And you just got to have that awareness. That's why you've got to ask the questions again. If I come in late and I'm not able to be there beforehand, I want to ask questions of people. What were the highs, what were the lows, what were the funny jokes, what was the situations that stood out, good or bad? And then what I'm doing is I'm looking for commonalities because one person, this might have stood out to them, another person, this might. But I'm looking for commonalities to tap into what the audience is thinking. But as you go up on stage, as they're doing the introduction, look, look at your audience. They're looking at the introducer. So you have that unique perspective to look at them without them looking at you. And where are they at? How are they sitting? What's their body posture? Are they smiling? Are they bored? Yeah. So it's a great little sideline. The sideline perspective, Mark, I'm going to write that down. Right?

Yes. A sideline perspective. I love that idea, Darren, because it's like the actors in the wings looking at the audience before they go out. And I will tell you, when I. When I used to do school, I still do school presentations at times. They were in an auditorium. A thousand kids in the auditorium. And I'm backstage, literally behind the curtain, and I watch as they come in, watch their body language. Are they somber? Because in some schools they're told, you make a sound, you're in trouble. They're coming in cheerful, with their friends, having a good time. Do they anticipate a lecture or do they anticipate an experience with a guy who's come all the way from, you know, Georgia to California or to Oklahoma? And I'm watching the dynamic and watching the kids, the young people. I'm watching the teachers. Are they trying to grade papers while I'm speaking? You know, it's be aware. And I've seen that too. But being literally aware of what the energy in room is like when they're coming in the door. What are they talking about? What are they thinking about, what's happening there. I can't always read that beforehand when I get to a school for an assembly. But the same principle applies. I love the idea. Keep a sideline perspective. That to me, Darren is my best keeper of the day.

Yeah. In the hallways, when listening, listen to what people are saying. Don't try and jump in every conversation. It's best, especially if they know you're the speaker or presenter now they're on guard, or they're gonna go in a different direction and ask you questions, which isn't bad. But sometimes we can learn a lot just by observing. Mark, you know my famous Rio joke when I was presenting at the Rio, but listening in the hallways, because they're really long hallways. So listening to the. This franchise that I was speaking to, Contours Express, kind of like the competition to Curves. And they were all women's workouts. And they were. Most of the owners and managers were female. And they're walking in the hallway and I'm just walking alongside. Nice advantage, Mark, to being a short, middle aged bald guy. Nobody notices me, which is great because then I'm like a chameleon on the wall. Oh, it's just the middle aged bald guy. But listening to them in the. Oh, it's such a long walk. Oh, it's so far from the elevators. It's such a long hallway. And I should have worn my sneakers instead of my heels. Well, you know, blah, blah. And just. But it was commonality. It was commonality. It was commonality. And so using my jokes that we teach at the humor boot camp, I went up on stage and I said, yeah, welcome to the Rio. Isn't it beautiful? And they were pumped to be there because the all the previous conventions were at the headquarters because it was a small growing franchise. So this was the first time they went to Vegas. They're pumped to be there and it is a beautiful hotel. And I said, I don't know if you know this, but Rio is actually a Native American term that means long flipping hallway. And so boom. Yeah, it came from the awareness and the joke techniques that we teach on how to create that joke to instantly connect. And now I've used that same joke in other casinos that have long hallways and it almost always works because it's a common top of mind frustration.

And Keith, I said two things you said earlier. What's top of mind to them? And you said, look for commonalities. And you use both that mind, that mindset and you applied techniques. You've been learned, you've learned and you're teaching now. And when it landed, boom, it landed perfectly. So I want to be clear about this. The idea of matching their energy is not just about how loud you are, how buoyant you are, how vibrant you are or how low key. And Steven Rightish you may be. Those who don't know Steven Wright, comedian, check him out. His delivery is really deadpan. His watch is very, very low and his hilariously funny. It isn't only about the energy you exude in the moment on the stage. There's so much more surrounding it. So when you do get to the stage, you are ready to serve your audience in the best way possible.

So no need to overdo it. Match their energy, be on the pulse, be aware. Be aware. Because this, if you don't connect, you're never going to be unforgettable. Because I've seen Mark, we've seen people in speech contests on professional stages that they're doing all the techniques correct, but there's such a disconnect and everybody knows it. So you can connect and that will overcome a lot of mistakes and overcome a lot of sins. It's the connection, you know, that's why I say don't be perfect, be present. The audience doesn't want you perfect word for word. They want you present. They want to connect with you. They want to feel with you. One of the comments I get a lot on my championship speech is the fact that I said and the people way in the back because I sit in the four corners of a room, which by the way, we recommend sit in the four corners to see their perspective and what they will see. Because I sat back there, I'm like, wow, this seed is horrible.

So.

But guess what?

I keep seeds.

Yeah, I connected with them. I brought them to the front row because I noticed them.

One more thought, Darren, regarding matching the energy and I'm glad you mentioned the people way in the back. When the audience knows that you are acknowledging them no matter where they are in the room, acknowledging their situation, their circumstance, their organization, when they understand the acknowledgment and they feel that connection and relationship with you, I very confident they're that much more inclined to listen to what you have to say and then you can hold their hand and take them on the journey to your prescribed destination. As long as your mindset says, I'm going to serve the audience in the.

Best way possible, match their energy. And by the way, we've gotten some amazing feedback on our last two episodes. Even Mike Davis, one of our friends and one of our coaches has said that last week with rl. Man, people love that. On talking about Taka Dot, you gotta check that out. And Frank King the week before that, episode 224. Wow. Talking about suicide and then bringing levity to it. If you haven't heard, you gotta check that out. So next week what are we gonna talk about? Hmm.

We'll see.

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