Ep. 227 Unforgettable Wordsmithing

Hey there, Mark Brown. This is like your territory, but I love it too. You're just better at it than me. But I appreciate as the listener the work and the effort and the time that people put into wordsmithing. So I'm gonna grab my dictionary. Just, just. So what do you call it?

The lexicon, my friend.

Lexicon. See, I'd have to go look that up to see what it was. But if you don't know the story, Mark Brown, even in grade school, was told by his classmates that. What does it say in your yearbook, Mark?

Yeah, it says, always seen in the center of a crowd, relating one of his experiences to his listeners, who have to make sure they have their dictionaries with them for frequent consultations. They actually wrote that?

Yeah, they didn't.

I'm a word nerd, man. I'm a self confessed word nerd. I love words.

They didn't write that in mind.

There we go. Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren. Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time, Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

I gotta chuckle, Darren. I mean, you know, I look, I love words. And those of us who have followed the podcast for the last, oh, gosh, four years will probably remember episode 182. Earlier in 2023, we interviewed one of the most famous soccer football commentators in the world, Peter Drury, an acquaintance of ours. And he said, you have to love the words to do what I do. Well, as presenters, we should love our words too. And I confess, I'm a word nerd. Yes, I used to read the dictionary for fun in junior high school. It does happen, right? And for those of you who may be new to the podcast, quick story. I'm in. I think it was eighth grade in my English class. And the young, young man came to our classroom door, all boys school in Jamaica. And he said, sir, I need to borrow a dictionary. One of my classmates said, hey, Brown, this kid wants to talk to you and the whole class because they knew that I would read a dictionary for fun. And I'm a word nerd. I have not one, but two dictionary apps on my mobile phone. One is called the free dictionary and the other is called Word Hippo. A tool we all use for many, for many, many ways to manage all words and use all words. Why do I say all this, Darren? Because as presenters, words are our tools. And words, well put together can be very effective in not just disseminating, sorry, sharing information with the audience, but it can also help to give them the experience of being with you.

Or.

Words are used for storytelling. Words are used to create emotion, generate emotion. Words are our tools and we should not take them lightly and just toss any word in. It behooves us to use the words and choose the words that most effectively accomplish the goal we have set for any story, any anecdote, passing information on, and indeed for our entire presentation, be it a seven minute talk or, or a three day workshop. That's my spiel, man.

Yeah, words matter. Words matter. And if you want to be unforgettable, you got to learn to love the language. Now, maybe not as much as Mark, but we have to appreciate the value of great writing. If you want to be unforgettable, you've got to, as Mark said, you must be selective to be effective, which is catchy and memorable, which is the point that they take your message home with them. And so, Mark, you had such great examples in your championship speech. And I've seen all the edits that you did with David Brooks, your mentor. And when it comes to editing, there's a famous quote that we learned from Patricia Fripper about wordsmithing from the great comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Mark, what's that quote?

Yeah, Seinfeld said, I will spend an hour taking an eight word sentence and editing it down to five. Let's pause for a second, Darren. An hour to take an eight word sentence and edit that eight words down to five. Which means Jerry Seinfeld, one of the most successful comedians of all time, invest the time to word Smith his humor so the audience can get the full experience. He wants to shorten the time between the setup and the punchline. As presenters, Darren, why should we be any different if we invest the time, an hour to remove three words from a sentence. And here's a man at the top of his game for how many years, Darren? What? 30 years or more, right? If he is willing to invest that much time, effort and energy to create that experience for his audience again, not just to get a laugh, but to create the experience for his audience, it's our responsibility to make a similar investment to give our audiences an experience that they will remember. If you want to be unforgettable, Darren, you gotta put in the work with words. And by the way, my mentor, David Brooks, his company back in 1994 was called Working with Words. Who knew? Yeah.

And Mark, in your speech, it's not just the fewer words. So Jerry Seinfeld talks about getting from punchline to punchline in fewer words, which is important, but we're also not just talking about fewer words. We're talking about stronger, more unforgettable words, which in your speech, you had some great alliterations. And you said, it's using words to say so much in so little time, but set the seed so deep that we can't forget. So, Mark, you talked about in your speech. One of my favorite lines is when you talked about the plight of the homeless and the reporter who took on the Persona. So I could say, Let me just say, here's how I would say it. Version one. And then let's see what Mark turned into. So I would say, so this reporter took on the Persona of the homeless and she was cold. She wrapped in the clothes that. The type of clothes that they wore. And she. She was playing a part because there was a hidden camera following what she did and how people interacted with her. And so she would huddle in the corner of a doorway in the. In the middle of winter in whatever city it was and New York City, and just take on that Persona to see what it was like. But Mark, how did you say all this?

To appreciate their circumstance, she dressed as they dressed, she walked as they walked, she lived as they lived. For several days, she carried a concealed microphone and the hidden camera crew followed her every move. Yeah, so that was the last part was. It was snowing, bitterly cold, and there she sat huddled in a doorway, shivering, trying to fend off the bone chilling winds, but hardly anyone noticed her. That's a mouthful.

Yeah, but you. That wasn't version 1.0, I'm guessing.

No, no, it was not. It was not. I had to. I had to wordsmith the scene because I wanted the audience to not only see it, and don't get me wrong, your. In your rendition, the audience could see she was dressing as they were in the hallway, and it was cold in winter in New York City. They could see that. But I wanted to use words that were rhythmic and therefore more memorable to create the emotional piece as well as the visual piece. When I said to appreciate their circumstance, she dressed as they dressed, she walked as they walked, and she lived as they lived. I use the as they. As they. As they. In a triad. So it was three visuals, but I used triads. And I repeated the words as they walked, as they walked, dressed as they dressed, lived as they lived. And it might be worth your while, friends, to study rhetorical devices. We have some friends who love these. Our dear friend Linda Marie Miller is the queen of rhetorical devices. And Ed Tate also loves rhetorical devices. Fellow world champion and certified speaking professional, Ed Tate. But I use that for the rhythm of it, for the experience of it and the visual impact. And I physically, on stage, I, I put the coat on, I shuffled along. So I walked as they walked. I dressed as they dressed. When I say lived as they lived, I pointed to a place on the ground on the street where she lived. Then I said, there she sat, huddled in her doorway, shivering. I physically huddled. I, I use the word huddled because some words have a sound to them that just really has impact. Darren, 22 years ago, when you and I worked together, you had a little pamphlet you were giving out about funny words and you were teaching a principle, which I'd like you to share real quickly, but regarding wordsmithing, about words that have a K sound and funny words, what was that principle you were teaching about using words effectively for humorous impact? Funny sounding words.

From our humor boot camp, we do a whole section which I learned from my mentor, Dave Fitzgerald, about funny words and that it is an impingement word. And this is. We're talking your language. I learned it from Dave. But this is, this is like the one big word that I know, impingement words. And impingement means to strike or collide. So when a sound in a word strikes the listener, it then grabs attention and can be more memorable, which we're talking about here, being unforgettable, taking the time. Look, this is a speech. Let's say we're not talking about a. Hey, it would help in a speech contest. But I'm even thinking more out there, keynote speaking. This is what you do. You got one speech or maybe two, but one speech, why would you not take the exact same thing you say, sit down like Seinfeld wordsmith, like Mark Brown, and say, how could I say it in a more vibrant, vivid, memorable way? So the hard K sound to strike or collide, which is why, you know, the F bomb in the comedy world is done a lot and it gets attention. And if you use it too much for new comedians, it just gets old. And now it's just a rhetorical device that turns you into a rhetorical boring person on stage. So the hard case sound at the end of the F bomb is strikes or collide. So it's profanity plus striking and colliding. So boom.

You.

Yeah, it could get a laugh. That's not what we're here to. But the principle. Having the hard case sound snack smack. In one of my early jokes and I would tell a story about my subway shop, I would say, this lady came in with this scowl on her face. She was a pickle sniffer. Pickle sniffer, like got a laugh in and of itself. And because I recorded myself, I just did it by accident one day and I was like, ooh, that got a laugh. Write it down. Pickle sniffer. Like, it just. It gives you a vivid image. When I set it up by saying she had a scowl on her face, you can see her, you know, looking over the food and everything. So it is taking the time and using the words. There's always a better word. And it's our job to be unforgettable to find it. So we did a whole episode on foundational phrases. So this is not just your foundational phrase, but absolutely applies to your foundational phrase so we can say more and fewer words. And Mark, I wrote down a couple that I heard recently that just struck me because I knew we were going to do this podcast. One of them was by Steven Furtick. It was actually. He's a pastor, one of my favorite online pastors. Some people say he's overzealous. I love it because it's my style. But he is great with words and he had a sermon and just understand this in four words. He said so much with the title. And by the way, Mark has not heard this yet. This is new to Mark. I didn't share this ahead of time, but he said, bent knees break chains. Bent knees break chains. So he could have said, well, you know, if you get down on your knees and pray and, and ask for help, your life can change, even if there, you know. So we're saying so much in four words, but I'm sure that just didn't happen. He had to take the time and create that image as well as use or choose the right four words to get the point across in four words.

And as one word key piece to this, Darren, the four words he chose were all monosyllabic, one syllable each. Fewer words and fewer syllables are easier to remember. Bent knees, break chains. All one syllable. A sentence, a phrase, but a message right there with four words. So think about this in your wordsmithing. How can I take a four syllable word and find one that's two syllables? Enter word hippo one of our favorite tools, first introduced to me by a professional editor when we were doing our book Deliver unforgettable Presentations a year ago. And this word, hippo, is a tool that we use and that we share in Stage Time University with all our clients as well. You go to the thesaurus, which of course, as you know, a. A thesaurus is a volume that has other words for words. Which begs the question what is another word for thesaurus? I don't know. But using a thesaurus such as word hippo.com online, the beauty of that particular tool is it'll give you words in 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 syllables. It's a tool you you may also wish to use your favorite AI tool to ask could you give me 10 monosyllabic words that mean unforgettable? And it'll do its best to answer that question for you. My point is, whatever tool you choose to use, avail yourself of these resources to help you to be more compact and condensed to me to be succinct and concise but still effective in your presentations. Succinct and concise, but yet still effective. I had to use some words there. I couldn't help myself. But the idea is fewer words, short, shorter sentences, fewer words, fewer syllables are much more unforgettable and memorable than long drawn out 85 word sentences. Challenge for everyone. And I had my clients do this. Look at the latest script you have written and count the words in your longest sentence. Count the words in your average sentence. If you got 15, 16 words in a sentence, you need to do some wordsmithing to cut that bad boy down into bite sized pieces. And Darren, this also applies on television. You've been interviewed quite a few times, I know, certainly in Vegas. And when the host asks questions, they need succinct short answers. They don't want a table topic Toastmasters two minute speech. They need short answers. Because sometimes your segment is four minutes or fewer on a TV broadcast and that may be where you live right now in terms of what you're doing. So think clarity and brevity combined who how you do that wordsmithing and ask.

Yourself over and over again. Because this isn't my strength, I had to work harder at it. But I also knew its importance. My original championship speech was 1492 words. I had to get it down to 8, 100, 750 in that range. So every day I would send Mark a new version. But the overriding question get this, how do I say it better in fewer words? Not just how do I Say it in fewer words. How do I say it better in fewer words? So that gets my brain looking for that, looking for the better ways. And I remember I had three paragraphs in the original version that it came down to a sentence or two in my championship speech. Well, it was just a lot of blah, blah, blah. That wasn't relevant to my point. That took the audience off on a tangent. That wasn't wordsmithing. Mark, I heard a new one this weekend, too, and I love. This might be one of what you call the rhetorical devices, but this is one you've probably never heard of. I had never heard of. And it was a woman named Valerie Cummins who is a coach here in Vegas. And she said, I didn't do it the wrong way. I did it the long way. And I just thought that that was. Ooh. So she didn't do it wrong. She did it long. So we have those wrong and long. That helps make that statement instead of just saying, look, I took way too much time. I could have done it so much more quickly. Know, there's. It's just good, succinct and powerful.

That particular line, Darren, reminds me of a court case that took place 30 years ago, the O.J. simpson trial. And I remember at one point, one of the attorneys for the prosecution was addressing the jury, and it was. Mr. Darden was. It was a prosecutor. And he. He made a statement because Ron Goldman had passed away in a tragedy as well. And he said, Ron Goldman was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nicole Brown Simpson was in the wrong place for a long time. And he dropped that line in there. And I thought that was. He had rhythm, he had rhyme, he had wordsmith that. So here's a thought. Don't underestimate the value of rhythm and rhyme when you're wordsmithing, but be selective to be effective. You're not writing an epic poem, but you're using words selectively at certain places and in certain ways for the impact both visually and emotionally, along with the auditory impact you have from the words. These are simple tools. Rhythm, rhyme, alliteration. When used well, you become that much more memorable and, by default, unforgettable as well.

Great, Mark. I heard this in what you were saying. If I put it together, if you use rhythm and rhyme, you'll have more impact in less time.

Did you just word Smith that?

I'm channeling my inner Mark Brown?

More impact in less time when you use rhythm and rhyme. More impact in less time. You know what? I'm gonna write that down so I can refer to it later on.

That's a good one.

Darren's on a roll, friends. This is not his strong suit. He'll tell you that. I'm not putting him down.

No, Absolutely wordsmith.

But this is really good.

But I understand its importance, even though it's not my strength. So if it's not your strength, get some help. Get a writing buddy. Sit down with one of your stories over coffee or over zoom and just say, hey, here's what I'm trying to say.

But.

But someone else will give you an outside perspective. But you need. You're the director. You're the CEO of your speech, so you need to get some help. Here's the cool part. A little bit of effort is going to be divided by a whole boatload of audiences that you'll be in front of for the rest of your career. So, yes, it takes some time. Jerry Seinfeld took the time. Jerry Seinfeld, top of his profession. If you want to be unforgettable, here's an area to spend some time. Get a coach, whether it's Mark or me. Well, if it's wordsmithing, don't call me. We also, my friend. Yeah, Mark. Well, I have a strength, and my strength is on delivery on the characters and setting the scene. That's just what I love. That's where I love. If you don't know, Mark and I also do dynamic duo coaching that you can get both of us two on one. Just go to getaspeakingcoach.com you see our whole boatload of coaches. If you want comedy or humor writing, Chris McGuire, Stephanie McHugh. She's on that page. Each coach has their own specific strengths. So, Mark, knowing we were going to do this, my RAS reticular activating system was out there looking for great writing. I heard this one. It's been. I searched it to see who it should be credited to. It was one preacher. Bob Lohman and Robert Shula as well. There's great writing. I don't know who originated it, but when you're down to nothing, God is up to something.

That's rhythm and the opposite of something and nothing. So the combination of the rhythm, the combination of the. Of the contrast. Oh, Darren, you're talking my language.

I thought we'd have a Mark Chasm writing gasm. Look, it's. I do enjoy it. I don't enjoy the process as much, but I do it because it's important. You know, when Mark, when I was working on 17 minutes to youo Dreams Starting a whole brand new keynote. A couple years ago when I wrote the book, I would use my audience to see what was landing. So I did it for a lot of Toastmaster clubs and districts and whatever, for free. Because I was just, I was working it out at my. My writing is best in front of the audience and recording it and then going back and changing it. But I love that feedback. What hit? Cause I was looking to see the foundational phrases from this whole boatload of new content that worked. And then I would emphasize those and get rid of the ones that weren't working. So you are the CEO of your speech, you know, that seemed to like hit people. I'm in charge. Like, this is my speech. And when I had, when I talked about going back to Nineveh, the story of Jonah and the whale, and then I would come back to the audience, have you been swallowed by the whale of self? Doubt.

Metaphor, metaphor. Love that, Love that.

And those were the things that I would hear back at the end. What were your keepers? Well, when you start hearing your foundational phrases back as keepers, you know they're keepers. Those are good. And I had some. I'm like, didn't you like that one? But I can adjust it and try it again. But anyway, so you can also get a writing buddy, get a coach, and also use the audience, see what's landing. And then if it is like a Toastmaster organization or group, you can also ask, hey, does anybody have a better way to say ba, ba, ba ba?

Right?

And almost all of the time, someone. There'll be a wordsmith in your audience. Someone will have a great idea. And I remember when I was working on the metaphor of the rope and I had it sectioned off in one inch sections and I was doing this metaphor about 158 hours in a week, and someone in the audience in a practice session said, your rope is their hope. And I was like, oh, that's good. So sometimes we can use the audience to get ideas and people want to help. People want to help. So may come from an audience member, may come from a rating buddy, may come from a coach, or it may come to your focusing, your focusing. By the way, I'm going to ask Dictionary.com if you're listening. You got to up your game because you don't have wordsmithing as a word on dictionary.com it is on wordhippo.com and.

Google knows it too. Google knows it.

Yeah. So it is a word especially. But I love the tool of word Hippo. It's very simple gives you rhymes, you can play around with it. And as Patricia says, it's challenging to be creative in isolation.

That's right.

Unless you have a tool. If you have a good tool, it makes it easier, more fun, but always better if you can, you know, grab a coffee, grab a glass of wine and get some help.

You mentioned, Darren having your foundational phrase for a presentation. A foundational phrase repeated, that's what the audience remembers. It's worth our while to invest time to make these fun, make these foundational phrases memorable. Also, when you deliver your nuggets of wisdom, is there a way to deliver a nugget of wisdom that is rhythmic, that has rhyme, has impact, has emotional consequences, consequence, but emotional impact if the point you make can be repeated, and I love what our mentor, the immortal Ms. Patricia Fripp, says, speak to be remembered and repeated. If your audience can repeat the points you make, can repeat your points of wisdom, repeat your foundational phrase. If they can be clear on the premise of your presentation, that's when you are having impact because they remember it and they'll repeat it to someone else. These terms, these words, these phrases don't often trip lightly across our lips instantaneously. They do take work and think. Also in terms of your value propositions. We talk about your. Your foundational phrase, or what's the premise of your speech? Or what do you do? How do you identify the value you bring to any audience? We often say, can you say it in 10 words or fewer? That's the editing piece. And can you say it in a way that's rhythmic enough for the audience to remember it? I want to hire that person. You know, Darren, Ed Tate talks about how certain people have sold their businesses and what they offer by writing the word, the right words and creating the right description. So when they ask, what do you do? You know, I help so and so. You know, I help people save money on their homes. That sounds nice. How can you recreate that? What do you do, Mark? I code speakers to be better. That's fine. I have in the past use. I help presenters to shine on stage and online. Shine on stage online. That's more rhythmic. And they know. I'll help you do a virtual presentation. I'll help you do a live, but I'll also help you shine. And it took me a while to come up with that. And I have a program now called Shine on Stage and Online and I teach that program. That did not happen in a vacuum or overnight. That took a while. It took me working with you and stage time and going through the same exercises to create a phrase that in a few words helps the audience know exactly what I do and who I do it for. Take this challenge not just to be useful in the presentation, but expand the value to yourself regarding how you describe your business or whatever it is you offer to those who will listen up when you meet a prospect. This technique and this principle can literally transform your presentations and it would be helpful for your business as well. If you use the tool of wordsmithing and use it wisely and well.

Mark Brown says it best. So invest in a wordsmithing buddy, whether it's just buying him a coffee or hiring a coach. If it's not your strength, and if it is your strength, get another wordsmither to go along with you because you're gonna multiply this effort. This time, this investment. Investment is multiplied by, think about it, every presentation you give and on your website now you have a better, more catchy title that will make an event planner go. Hmm, we need that if it's concise, if it gets the point across, and if you're offering your new, fresh perspective. So Mark, that's why I love working with you. We have varying strengths, but we collaborate well and we have fun. Thanks for listening to this. Happy New Year coming up. We really love what we get to do and please pass this on. If you like this podcast or one of our other episodes, please pass it on. We love what we get to do and want to help you help your audience. Mark Brown, take us home.

Use your words, choose your words. Be a wordsmith and you will be unforgettable. See you next week.

Yeah, and lose some words.

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