Ep. 234 THE POWER OF COMMUNITY

All right, I know, I know you understand the power of community. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're going a little deeper with examples with the communities we've had and made and what it led to for us.

Yeah. You know what? The thing is, we don't really understand the power of community, but today we're going to talk about it.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

Okay. It actually should be the power of communitees because we all have several communities that we are part of. But this is to encourage you to take inventory. Seriously take inventory of where you're spending your time, because the people that you surround yourself with affect you, affect your thoughts, affect your trajectory. Is it going up? Is it going down? If you've listened to us before, you've heard me speak before, you know, one of the quotes that changed my life was the Jim Rohn quote. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Mark, I spend a lot of time with you. I'm just saying.

Yeah, it's been, what, 22 years and counting. Oh, man, we're still here.

So think about it. There's several communities just preparing for this. I kind of took inventory myself. I'm like, I should think about this. And I realized that often I've gone to conventions or conferences. So back in the early 90s, I spent some time in different communities in NSA. NSA was critical, Toastmasters was critical. But there was Also, in the 2000s, I was going to real estate conventions and conferences, and I found a mentor there, Ron LeGrand. And I learned so much from him. And the people I surrounded myself with when I was attending those conventions or conferences, it was people outside of the speaking world yet people who are Internet marketers, people who ran businesses at a higher level. And they pulled me up, they gave me ideas. I remember. Mark, the reason you may not even know this, but the reason I have all these videos on YouTube, thousands of videos on YouTube, and I get a check once a quarter, I think it is, or, yeah, once a quarter from Google for my YouTube views is because of that community. I put myself in back in the Day. Now, I did real estate. I flipped one house, and I realized I don't love real estate. Oh, man, I. I enjoyed the income from it. Just that one house, but it was. It was a nice income. However, I realized the time and energy I was spending doing it, I did not enjoy. And that was a big aha. Just like Subway. I learned so much from my running my Subway shop, but I did not enjoy that business. I enjoyed business, but not that business. But, Mark, when I was at One of Ron LeGrand's events, I met a guy named Dan Locke. And Dan Locke is an expert. A coach is a business coach. And I saw him. I saw him speak, and I'm like, I gotta learn from this guy. He was talking about copywriting. So back in the day, I used to do actual ads in Toastmaster magazine. And just by being around him, I would sit down to try and write copy, and he's like, darren, Darren, you're making it harder than it needs to. I was like, what do you mean? But don't I have to follow the format? He said, yeah, but you're writing. And, Mark, you say this a lot. We just said this in one of our coaching sessions we did with one of our executive clients 10 minutes ago, that you need to write as you speak. And you say right for the ear.

Not for the eye. Yeah, but when you write what you read, it looks so flowery and eloquent and verbose and loquacious when you talk.

Yeah, let's say that my copywriting was not flowery nor eloquent, nor effective. But he said, darren, just look at it this way. How would you say it over coffee if you had a speaker?

Yes, this.

Yeah, this was when I was launching the Ads Are about Get Paid to Speak by Next Week, my trademark program. And so I had, like, the back cover of Toastmaster magazine. And I went from trying to write copy, which was painful, to. To just that change of perspective because of my community, because I invested in being around people who were at that higher level that would pull me up and give me a new perspective. He said, picture you sitting down, having coffee in front of an emerging speaker who dreamed of getting paid. What would you say to them? I was like, oh, that kind of takes some pressure off. And I settled into it, and it. It flowed out of me. Wasn't perfect. I still needed an editor, but the essence and the intent was better. It reached more deeply, and it was. It was a choice that I made. And I remember he. He was helping him, me and my business, and he Said this is right when YouTube was just starting. Well, I would say kind of like TikTok is now, except TikTok has been around for a while and it's kind of blown up. But in the early days of YouTube, he said, you gotta be on YouTube. And I was like, whoa, whoa, all right, let me go look at YouTube. And I looked at YouTube and he said, you got to put a video up. So I took One of my DVDs at the time and I took a clip from it and I put it up and I called up my coach, my business coach, Dan Locke, and I said, I'm on YouTube. He said, no, no, no, no. You put up one video that doesn't put you on YouTube. You need to make it a habit. Mmm. You need to upload a video like every day.

And it clip, clip, clip, post, post, post. Yeah.

Years ago and years ago. But because I did that, because I had that perspective, because I chose that community that I could see that these business thinkers were way above my thinking as an entrepreneur back then. It changed what I did and how I did it. But going back, it was the choice to invest in, going to be around that community. Now we talk about Toastmasters a lot. It gave me a place to make mistakes. We talk about nsa, the National Speakers association, if you're listening to this internationally, in Canada, capsule, same association, different country. Singapore, South Africa.

Yeah, all over the. All over the world.

Maps in Europe, psa, professional speakers. So it might have a different name, but that community, that community that I surround myself with are the people who understand me, who encourage me, who know what I'm up against, who, if I'm looking for someone to say, do new photo headshots, I can ask around in my community.

Exactly.

And they may have a source because they had one. This is a good one. This is a bad one. Stage time. Stage Time University. I can't believe the community that Mark, you and I have built over the years. And then what warms my heart is when I see them helping each other.

Right.

That it's truly not just about learning from us, which they can learn from us, they can get coach from us, but when they are encouraging other, when they are supporting each other, we have in stage time, member to member feedback where people we've trained give you feedback on your speech. And I just, I don't have children. It's like a proud papa.

Yeah.

And we have 300 members around the world and like. But seeing them help each other, that warms my heart and marked up just that must be like not at the level at. But when you see your son helping your daughter, your daughter helping your son.

Oh yeah, like, yeah, the proud papa feeling. Yeah, you're right. Because we have a study buddy program. And what's cool is seeing members of the, of the Stage Time community, as you say, helping each other out, collaborating with each other. I mean, I think it was last fall, one of our members put together an excellent event and they were able to collaborate with people. You were there for the event and it was wonderful how people within the community can support and encourage each other. And I heard you say, in, in a poetic sense, I heard you say, choose your community and use your community. But you also said, Darren, that community changed your perspective on how you process certain behaviors. And the power of having a community that knows you, understands you, cares about you, that you have an affinity with them and they have the opportunity to help change the way you and I think about whatever that community is involved in. The NSA has been so helpful to me as a community for so many years. I think 96. I joined almost 30 years ago and to realize people have learned from great mentors who to this day still encourage and support me. I'm part of that community. In recent years, I've become part of, of a LinkedIn community. I'm learning from them as well. And even locally with my local Georgia chapter of the nsa, that community, I'm finding I'm being called upon to serve them. Which led to one more thought. Do you serve your community? Because many people think it's your network. Use your network. Yeah. But not only should we be receiving from our community, we ought to be contributing, helping, serving, guiding. And in the last couple of years, for me in the speaking world, certainly Toastmasters for decades. But the NSA community for me is also expanded. Darren, you share this experience. We find NSA chapters outside our local area. You are Las Vegas, I am Atlanta, Georgia. But we've got both gotten requests to serve other chapters in other states and on occasion, we get to do it together. That's the power of community. We can help each other grow. We can help each other adjust from the mistakes that we have made. We can shorten their learning curve. And in the end, it's a win, win for everybody. So please think about your community not only for what you can receive from them, but how you can serve them, how you can help them, how you can help them grow as well.

Another thought, build your community.

Yes.

Meaning if you're an expert in health, nutrition, customer service, and you become, if you're an expert in that field. Well, there's new people coming to that field who need that encouragement, who need that mentoring. What community could you build? So there's being a part of it, but there's also choosing to build it. Like, one of the greatest things that I've accomplished with my life is building stage time, building that safe place where people can get that nurturing, get that growing, get that feedback. I honestly believe that. That most speakers never reach their full potential because they don't get the feedback they need to serve their audience at the highest level, whether it's a coach or whatever. But I honestly believe that is my truth from experience. I would have never become the speaker I am without you, Mark, and your coaching. Well, I appreciate that, but also without Michael Hague learning from him. Michael Davis, when he gives me feedback, Michael Hague helping me with my script. So what community could you build? Could you build a community where you're the papa bear, you're the mama bear, you're the one that people go to because you've created a safe place? Also take inventory. Maybe there's some communities you're a part of that don't serve. You need to step back. Because just going back to the Jim Rohn quote, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Well, if you're the only one in the group who's lifting everybody up, who's lifting you up? And maybe, maybe there's. Think about this. Choose your community, use your community, but don't be abused by the community.

Oh, he does wax eloquent today. Where is all this wisdom coming from?

Darren Lacroix, Divine inspiration. That's my only thought on that answer. But we've had people in stage time that were literally paying us money, that I gave them their money back and I kicked them out because they were poisoning the community. And, and bless them, I don't wish bad on them, but their negativity, their scarcity, mindset, whatever their issues were. I had people who weren't going to come to events because this person was going to come to an event like that was super clear. Yeah, super clear. But you got to protect your community as you build it. You got to protect it. And look, if we're out there and building a community and it's part of our business, that means anybody with money can join. But not all money is good money, as it's been said. Not my quote, but. But I've lived it.

You know, Darren, that last point you made, we're chuckling here, but it is a Very serious point, that there are times you'll find people in a community. It need not be a speaking community. It could be a faith based community. It could be, it could be a community organization, charity, nonprofit or ngo. And someone comes in and you can just, you feel, you can sense, you can experience, the vibe is off, the coherence is gone. The balance is out of whack and we have to make a difficult decision. If we are empowered to, to remove that person or for ourselves, we may find ourselves saying, you know what? I think my time here has come to an end. I need to distance myself, remove myself and find myself in another community for my own well being, where I can grow, where I can also learn and serve as well. That's a good point. And sometimes we have to make those.

Difficult decisions and you've got to keep yourself first. That doesn't mean we don't serve others. We don't please others for fellow people, pleasers. But at the same time, how can we please others if we're in this negative caustic environment? That's one of the reasons I left stand up. I love my standup buddies. I actually enjoyed the environment. Being in that caustic environment six or seven nights a week was not healthy for me personally. So that's why I did both stand up and speaking for a while. But I realized I had to step out. Maybe you're part of a mastermind that you've been thinking that one or two people really make you want to not show up. If you want to not show up, that community is not serving you. Look, yeah, you have, you have. What do I want to say? You have commitments, you have your word, you want to honor your word, but you also have the right at any moment to change your decision. I know people who, their mastermind broke up or they just left their mastermind because it wasn't working for them. And then once they left, then it broke up because they were kind of the glue. Holding it together.

Yeah. Holding it together. Yeah.

But that's okay. It's a new chapter. It's a new chapter for everyone. You're inviting people to make a new change for themselves. And you, because you're the catalyst, you could be the inspirer that you realize it's not working for you. Chances are it might not be working for some of the other people either, but you just inspire them by your actions. So it's the communities we are choose to be a part of. It's the communities we choose not to be part of. I mean, even in Toastmasters. I've seen clubs, the ebb and flow of the leaders and the decisions, because leaders always change. It's a volunteer organization. But where. Where do you thrive? Where do you want to grow? Hey, full transparency. We have an event called Game Changers coming up in Vegas once a year. But think about this community. Once a year, I get all the stage time coaches together, and I bring in a few couple experts new each year to keep it fresh. But also we come up with new content each year. Mark, you're excited to talk about referrals?

Oh, yeah. Wow. In a very, very fun year for me with referrals. I can't wait.

So when we bring in Sam Richter, Maureen Zappala, we bring in Ford, who's kind of like the big brother who.

Tells it like it is, always Ford sakes. Oh. Oh, for Ford sakes.

But this is something we've done every year. Mark, you know what year this is?

13.

17.

17. Wow.

17Th annual conference or convention. When I'm thinking back, like, I went to Ron LeGrand's event, but there are people there that I connected with. There's another real estate expert. We'll just call him Ryan. Ryan invited me. I got to know him. I gave him some feedback on his presentation. Well, he invited me to speak at his conference. He held a conference? So people in your community are the ones that can refer you. I just got a referral this past week from someone at the NSA chapter that I barely know. He got invited for a speech that he couldn't do in Vegas, and he invited Mark Camp. Mark Camp couldn't do it, so Mark passed it to me. So I'm booked next week here in Vegas because of my community, because I'm also serving my community with my talents. Mark, I will tell you, I am not a great board member. I realize that's not my talent. God bless Kathy Kalesha for putting up with me, but I realized that's not, hey, you want to use me for coaching, for teaching? I do the academy every year. I light up when I get to work with them. You put me on a board, and the 32 emails you get, I'm just.

Like, why are you bored on the board, Darren?

But it's just.

Just.

It's just not my thing. And I am thankful. You know, when they have the board members stand up at our meeting, I'm the first one to clap because it ain't me. But it doesn't. That. That is a. If you think about it, board of directors. That's a separate little community.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just don't thrive in that environment. I'm appreciative because without the board, there would be no NSA chapter. Our chapter would not be growing. Look, the power of community. You choose, build, choose, choose to leave.

The tough one, Darren. Here's a question to ask yourself. Is your community helping or harming you? And sometimes we stay within a community for emotional reasons or we feel a sense of obligation. You know, I brought me in, I've been there for a while and I notice people. But you, you go to an event or you're with committee for an hour or two, depending on what your schedule is, and you walk away saying, in the cliche world, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back. But I can't leave them because they, they expect me to be there. Go back to what Darren said for your own emotional and mental health. Is that community right for you at this time? The truth is we all grow. I believe we all grow. And sometimes we outgrow a community we're a part of. But if we can outgrow it and leave it in good hands, it won't be a bad thing to move on. We all have seasons in our lives. The question is, when I leave a community, how have I left them? Did I leave in a bad way? Did I leave with a bad taste? Will I leave with an awful reputation with my integrity and character in the mud? These are also considerations when dealing with the facts of life regarding the ebb and flow of how we deal with communities and people and we are deal with human beings. There's always a challenge there. But it's worth our while to take inventory, examine our communities. And again, it need not be confined to speech and speaking world. I am part of an NSA community at large. The NSA community much more closely now. Like Darren, I do serve our local academy as the pro speaker for our next cohort. But it's also my toast, Methodist community. And for Darren and me as world champions, that can be a very broad community because we are being requested to speak worldwide. Then if you're a faith based, it could be your church, your synagogue, your mosque, whatever group you're a part of. If you're in the community, you could be in a wife, in a youth group, the ymc, ywca, the local boys and girls club, and there are any number of communities that you're involved in. Here's one more thought. While there is power in community, ask yourself, am I trying to be involved in two minutes at one time and in Doing so I. Am I really serving none? That's a question only you can answer. But I put it before you because we don't want to dilute the power of community by not being able to serve each community effectively as we should. If you need to serve one or two and serve one or two well, then serve one or two well. But don't seek to be involved in so many areas. You. You spread yourself too thin. You suffer, your family suffers, your loved ones suffer. I offer this kind of on the side. Here's a father in me, okay. And somebody who was so much. We talk about kids being overstressed and over scheduled. It applies to us as well. We do not serve best if we over commit ourselves. Let's take a take care of ourselves and serve our community as well.

Yeah. If you choose to leave, don't choose in bad, bad taste. If you choose to leave, don't leave in bad taste with grace.

Hmm.

Don't leave in bad taste, leave with grace. Because you also might not know the root of the actual problem. So leave with grace. Leave in love. That's all. Because you may want to come back to that community maybe when things change or when that person burn no bridges.

So don't burn any bridges. You're right. Yeah.

Yeah. And then don't think like networking. Like networking. Yes. But I encourage you to think net serving.

Nice word, Darren.

Don't net word. Net serve. And that works for me. I'm not a great networker, but I'm a great NET server. How could you serve? How are you serving that community? There's a power to the community, but how are you serving it? Just like I choose not to be on the board, but I do choose to teach and coach however they want. I choose to donate things to auctions to raise money for my chapter. We just. I spoke at NSA Denver and just raised a lot of money for them, but I feel like I serve them completely. So there's a power of community, good and bad. So we're asking you to take inventory. We're inviting you to join us in Las Vegas in April for Game Changers. Be in the room. Just like even though I went to Ron Legrand's event, it was actually someone else, Dan Locke, who ended up connecting with me and being a coach. There'll be some other people in the room. Frank King will be there. We have our stage time summit, which is a free day. Free, no charge. An extra day in Las Vegas, live or hybrid that we kind of. We bring in a couple of guests. Frank being One of them, Nona, who is also a. Yeah, yeah. I just hired her Mark too, by the way.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, so she's making phone calls for me because I don't have that bandwidth. But they're going to be speaking at the summit. But the rest of the summit day it's here's all these coaches. What do you want us to talk about? What are your challenges in the hallway? You know, Frank is. He's given 11 TedX coach. 11 TedX talks. 11 TedX talks. They stopped putting him up on YouTube because they don't like that he's had 11. But that's a lot of experience at TedX.

Yeah.

So I encourage you find those communities that you can serve and serve you. I'd love to have you join us at Game Changers. We put so much into it. And Mark, one of my favorite quotes last week from Judy Mandela was saying, and me and Chris at our event find the funny, work harder than anybody else.

Oh, wow.

To serve the workshop. Love what we do. It comes through. So if you're listening to this, check it out. Go to stagetime workshops.com use the discount code podpod25. The price is going up at the end of February, so get it now. Use the discount code now before the price goes up. We'd love to have you join us in Vegas or virtually and be a.

Part of our 5 and 6. Right. April 5th.

April 5 and 6. And then the summit day, the free day is the fourth.

Yeah.

So consider joining our community if you like us and resonate with us. Look, we might not be perfect for you, but if you listen to this podcast, you know us, good, bad and imperfect. If you listen to this, chances are we're a good fit to be in our community because we connect on some level, somehow, some way. So, Mark Brown, the power of community. Final thoughts.

My thought is this. As Aaron said earlier, take inventory of every community you're a part of and ask yourself, how well can I serve them? Because by being a part, by receiving and giving, that's the power of community. We'll see you next week.

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