Ep. 25 How to Experience Front Row Success with Marilyn Sherman

Today we have hall of fame speaker Marilyn Sherman, one of my friends, someone who's in my mastermind, someone that I just think is an amazing person as well as an unforgettable presenter.

I gotta tell you, Darren, if the word energy means anything to you, you have got to be in the presence of the Marilyn Sherman csp, cpae, an all round firebrand. Let's do this, brother.

And if you get Aaron, if you get Aaron Gargan King and Marilyn Sherman in the same. There's a thunderstorm.

I love it.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcast with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. AHAs. Let's dive right in.

All right. Welcome, Marilyn Sherman, hall of Fame friend. What's your hashtag?

You just held that up well, hashtag, front row life. I don't know if it's coming in backwards where you can see it.

Perfect.

Now we're good.

Front row life. And then once in a while, I've had people come up, up on stage and tell me what their bucket list item is. And I say one time I said, does anybody wish that they could be up here on this stage speaking like I'm speaking right now. And then this woman, like, yes. So I brought her up on stage and I said, if you had an opportunity to address this audience, what would you say in 10 seconds? And she said like this, her. Her theme of life. And I'm like, congratulations, you just had a front row moment. And so we all took pictures, they took pictures, and then that was it. So I like to find creative ways to get people engaged in my keynotes.

Now, you know, Marilyn, I just saw a common theme here of the front row. And that, we know, is what you are all about. Give us an idea of what it means to be in the front row and why that's so important to you.

Well, the best way to describe what a front row is is to talk about what a front row is. Not because I like to say that people are either stuck in the balcony or meandering around in general mission, but the best place to sit is in the front row. So balcony seats are when you're really disengaged. You're feeling like nobody gets me. No one understands Me, why am I here? I'm just gonna sit in this space until I find something better or something better comes along. People can leave their balcony seat and come back and no one would even have noticed that they had left. I mean, it's really just a total misalignment with your purpose and your goals in life. General admission is where most people sit. Sit. This is where they get into a comfort zone. This is like, well, this is the way I've always done it. This is the way I'll always do it. That's just the way I am. This is the expectation people have of me. I'm just going to fulfill that minimal expectation. And they just go through life in their comfort zone, and then that comfort zone ends up in a rut, and then that rut becomes a disaster, and then they slip back into the balcony. Front row is where life is lived. Front row is where you get to say, oh my gosh, it doesn't get any better than this. I love what I do. I love who I do it for. I love the fact that I get paid to do's for a living. I love the people I'm with. I just. I get goosebumps thinking about the ideas that I get to share with the world. That's front row. And you can apply it to everything. Front row relationships, front row work, front row health, front row attitude, front row faith.

You know what, though, Marilyn? I love that. But it leads me to one question which comes from me being on stage. And the weirdest thing for me is I have done several education events. I get these teachers in the room, and the weird thing is they want their kids to be engaged in the classroom. I go to a convention, I got teachers, and they're all kind of sitting in the back and nobody wants to be in the front row. It's weird, but then the thought comes to mind. Here's a question, but hey, Marilyn, I love front row seats, but they just cost so much and they're that much more expensive. What does that reason slash excuse tell you about front row life?

Well, a couple of things. Because you're saying a lot in there, Mark. Because any seat with the right attitude and perspective can be a front row seat. Like, imagine you do a keynote and it's on the other side of the country. You're done early and you're able to get on an earlier flight. But the only flight that can get you home early to be with your family has one seat left, and it's in the middle, and it's in the back but you get. You get to see your family. You're like, yeah, baby, I can't wait. Wait. This is fantastic. I had a great keynote, and now I'm heading home. Hey, how you doing? How are you doing? So it's the worst seat on the plane, but it's the best seat in the house for you. It's a front row seat because you get to go see your family. So it's all about shifting your perspective and shifting how you see where you're sitting. Now you're talking literally, like, in a conference setting. And all three of us on this podcast are front row people. I mean, we will wait at that door 45 minutes before it opens, so we could rush to the front and get a front row seat. I get that there are some people that they would rather have root canal than sit in the front row. You know, I've spoken to a lot of lawyers and judges and associations that are filled with people in the law community. They never sit in the front row. They would rather stand in the back on their phones than be in the front row. So there's no judgment. My whole message is be decisive and be cognizant of where you sit and who you sit with, because nothing good happens in the balcony. And it's amazing about the opportunities that you have when you're in the front row.

So, Marilyn, you have front row energy, that's for sure.

Amen to that.

So, Marilyn, just let's take us back to, like, the beginning. What brought you into becoming a speaker? Let's start with the beginning of your story. Why did you do this?

Well, I have a kind of a unique career. You know, usually when you talk to motivational speakers or professional speakers, they've done something incredible in their life. And then their second phase of their life is to tell the world the story about what they did that was so incredible. And then that morphed into a professional speaking career. That sort of the opposite of me. When I was 17 years old at Mercer Island High School in Seattle, Washington, I saw a speaker named Roger Crawford, who is hall of fame speaker, who has a deformed arm hand, and a prosthetic leg. And he was speaking to our junior class about how it's not the handicapped people in the world who are disabled. It's the people who have everything going for them, and they don't use what they have. They disable themselves, they handicap themselves. And I'll never forget, this was an unforgettable presentation that shifted the trajectory of my life. He told one story that I will never forget. And he told the story about playing football and having the ball and running down the field to score the winning touchdown for the final game of the season. And he was tackled by a defender, but the defender tackled his prosthetic leg and his prosthetic leg came off and he still was able to hop into the end zone to score the winning touchdown. Game over. Well, I was so moved by that because I was an athlete and I was connecting to athlete to athlete. And I'm like, wow. I was so moved that I thought more people in this world need to have a message of hope and inspiration. And I want to be that person. And I went to my mentor, my dad, who said, well, if you want to do that for your life, you need to have credibility first. So you need to get a job first in the corporate setting space so you could have credibility to speak to the corporate audiences and change their lives. And so I started to go to seminars outside of school. I started to sign up. Like I would have gone to Stagetime University, right? I would have, I would have. I was started to go to these events and sit in the front row and take notes. And a lot of times the speakers would. I would come up to them afterwards saying, oh my gosh, I want to be like you when I grow up. And they, they always complimented me on, I loved your energy as an audience member because you were in it, you were engaged. So I appreciate that. So my energy and their energy just sort of started my path. And then something happened in high school where I was chosen to be a new pilot program to help kids in distress. And it was called Natural Helpers because we had a couple of suicides in my high school. And I lived in a very high pressured work or home environment where it was a high rent district. So a lot of the kids had high expectations. You know, I lived in the community where the Nordstrom's lived and where Paul Allen lived. And so all the kids felt such expectation to succeed like their parents had succeeded. So there was a couple of suicides. So a health education firm came into my high school and did this program where everybody voted on the person they go to when they have a problem. They took a cross section of the kids and took them away from the weekend and taught them listening skills, crisis management skills, suicide prevention skills. And then they had us blend back into the landscape of our high school so that naturally we could help people that came to us when they were in distress. And I took to that program like a duck to water. And they saw Potential in me. So they invited me to speak on behalf of a student's perspective of this program that was piloted at my high school at a health education state conference. That was my first paid speaking engagement. I was 17.

Wow. You live in the front row life early on. Isn't that amazing, Darren? Yeah.

Where did the front row come from? Where did that. Because that's your brand. That's how I see you. And for everyone, I have a Marilyn Sherman chairman right here.

Seat.

Excuse me. Front row seat reserved for Darren. And I keep it on my desk. Where did this idea come from, Marilyn?

Well, my first book that I wrote was called Whose Comfort Zone Are you in? How to Lead the Life youe Want and Be Happy Every Day. And so I learned through my membership at the National Speakers association that it's always a good idea to have your keynote the same title as your book. So I was speaking a lot on whose comfort zone are you in? But my clients loved me, and they wanted to invite me back the next year. So they're like, what else you got? And so I had to stop and do some reflection. Well, what am I all about? What do I believe in? What's. What is unique about me? And I think it was Cheryl Roush. You know, Cheryl Roush, longtime member of Toastmasters. I think she said, well, Marilyn, something I notice about you is that you're always in the front row. And so then I took that. So it was like an organic representation of who am I already? And then how can I package that to be a theme? And then I wrote a book, why Settle for the Balcony? How to get a front row seat in Life. And then I started speaking on it, and that became the message. And then it became like, I'm front row girl on Twitter. I'm front row Marilyn on Instagram. And there's an evolution. You know, there's always an evolution to our speaking. Somebody one time said, well, this whole front row mentality. You're so full of yourself.

Ooh, wow.

And then I was reminded, it's not about me. So then I came, like, the ultimate front row seat is to be an usher to help someone else get to their front row. So for anybody thinks that I'm full of myself, I needed to make sure that I illuminated the idea that it's not about me being in the front row. It's about me saving a seat for someone else or for me to illuminate that path for someone else to be in their front row. So now it's like a perfect. I think it's a perfect keynote.

Sorry, I should have warned you about the sound effect machine.

I have.

I don't know what that means.

Well, Darren is a boy with a toy, so he has sound effects for the good, the bad, the crickets, the halo, everything. And he's saying that that is angelic and glorious and that you actually found. You found the key. It is to be the usher, the guide, the one who put someone else in their front row seat. And that's pretty awesome.

And the cool thing, too, is you live it. If any of you ever get a chance to be at a conference with Marilyn, she is always in the front row. She lives it. And, Marilyn, you have another book that came out that I love the title of. Just give us that.

Oh, is there a hole in your bucket list? Yes.

Yes, I love that. Is there a hole in your bucket list? We always hear about bucket lists, but what's stopping us? Just brilliant.

But see, don't forget now that if you're older, like, I'm older than 40, but older than 50. So I grew up hearing, there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza.

Dear Liza.

Right, There's a hole in the bucket. Yes. So that's a really cool pun. And Darren, didn't warn you? Marilyn, I tell the worst puns in the world, and I'm trying to be good today. I had not told a bad pun in at least five podcasts, so I'm gonna try and code it together today. Yeah, tell us about that hole in.

The bucket list I too grew up on. Is there a hole in your bucket? Dear Liza, dear Henry. Right. And so one day, it's just my failures, my own failures, my own issues, and you know how you have a goal to, like, get in shape, for example, and to lose a certain amount of weight. Like the year my dad died, a year later, I got on the scale, and it literally, in one year, I gained, like, 35 pounds. And I said out loud, why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I keep putting holes in my own bucket list? And then I thought, oh, now that's a good title. That deserves a sound effect. Darren. Yes. So I do have. I do have my buckets. I like, you know, like when I do a book signing, I have my pens in my buckets, right? And then I patch those holes because we have holes in our buckets. I patch them with courage, compassion, and kindness. So I have these stickers to remind people that we all have holes in our buckets. Things that we do to sabotage our own success. We all do. Fear, insecurity, comparison to others, negativity and doubt. Well, every one of those are self imposed and every one of those can be patched. And we start with compassion to let go of the guilt that we have that we're not where we thought we'd be in this part of our life by now. You know, the courage to make things right and then kindness to yourself and other people.

You know, Marilyn, I'm going to just yank the wheel for a second. Darren, hold your thought and come back to it. But I'm hearing you say all of this and you said your message is really who you already are. And everything I've heard so far really reaches into us and helps us see our strengths, our weaknesses, our shortcomings. And with all this energy you have, you began speaking at 17, for goodness sake. It would seem to us it would be the perfect ride for you. But if, as you say, your message comes from your experience, you mentioned compassion, kindness, failures. You have carried so much in your own life, but yet you seem so effervescent, so ebullient, so bright. How do you bridge the pains you've grown through to where you are today and have all this energy, this positivity, knowing you've had to deal with compassion, failure, loss. What brought you through all that to where you are now?

Well, it was harder at the beginning because I had really thin skin. When people would write down on their evaluations, they didn't like my outfit, they thought I was full of myself, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I learned very early on that what we focus on, we get more of. I would take all the evaluations and I had a beautiful journal and every positive, wonderful, amazing thing people would write, I would literally rewrite it. I call it a win list. And I rewrote all the positive things. And then if there was negative, I'm going to look at it and I'm going to say, ooh, that hurt. And is there some truth to it? And then I'm going to keep going on through these evaluations. Oh, here's another positive one. I would stop. I would literally rewrite it. So what I'm doing is I'm putting those grooves in my brain on focusing on the positive and attaching myself to the positive. The positive things kept being repeated like, I'm solid. I know. I know that I'm pure of heart. I know that I'm compassionate for my audience. I know that I am not full of myself. So when I hear those things, I default to what I already know to be true. Because I've kept track of all those positive things, so now I don't need to write down those things now. I just sort of. I just know at my core that I'm really good at what I do, and I'm really good at connecting to my audiences, and I'm really good at touching their hearts. So that keeps me moving forward. Even if I lose a gig to somebody else, I recognize, you know what? Wrong fit, wrong speaker for the wrong audience for me. So I can divest myself emotionally from that, and I can move on now. It's not always that easy. I mean, I do have my dark moments where I'm like, nobody likes me. I think I'm gonna eat some worms.

Oh, wow.

Wow. We're bringing back all of the nursery rhyme songs from the old days.

Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me. I'm gonna eat some worms. You know what? You also brought to mind the old Sonny Mercer song. You got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative. Don't mess with Mr. In between. I can't believe we've had all this singing in one podcast. But the power of that is you don't disregard a negative. No, you say, okay, I see that. How can I fix that? You accentuate the positive, it becomes that which you see first. And Darren's really big on using the ras, the reticular activation system. That which you look for becomes magnified and you see more often. That really helps us to think about how do we view our experiences. And the win list, to me, is a really good idea to keep our eyes focused on what we do well and continue to improve that, to serve the people we work with. Darren.

Yeah. I also want to point out something she said that was brilliant as well. We want to focus on the positive, but she also said on a negative piece of feedback. Was there some truth to it? That takes confidence to ask yourself that maybe there is some truth to it that we could work on or improve. So I like that she doesn't just throw it all away. She's truly into growth, and that's one of the things I love, love, love about Marilyn. So, Marilyn, on your journey, you're a Hall of fame speaker. Now on your journey, what were some of the, say, game changers of your presentation skills? Meaning? We have corporate presenters, we have pastors, we have entrepreneurs who use presentations to build their business. What would you say are some of the biggest aha's you had along the way to be unforgettable?

I've never given the same presentation twice.

Wow. Same theme, but not same presentation.

Always the same theme. Because I'm always about personal accountability for success. Change your seat, change your life. Change your, you know, front row success. That's always been the theme. But I do my homework. I want to know who the association is. What's a day in the life like of one of the attendees in the audience? What are their biggest challenges? One of the game changers is to know what their pain point is. Because I do something really funny on stage, and when it comes to, you know, what could possibly go wrong in your day. And if I know ahead of time, if they're a little slow in answering, you know, I'll hear the audience. But then when I do my big moment, like the punchline could be. And then you get audited. No. And the audience goes wild. Well, that particular audience, they have these unscheduled audits that are the worst for them to go through. So when I said that they all died, they all fell out laughing. A game changer is when I recognize it really isn't about me. It's about what can I do with my message to touch the lives of the people in that audience? And the best way for me to do that is to get to know my audience ahead of time. So I do some research, I do some interviews, I take notes. I show up early. I shake hands of everybody in the audience as they're walking in the room, if I can, as long as there's not 2,000 people in the room. But you know what I mean. I show up early, and I connect with people so that by the time I get on st, I'm already their friend. And that's important to me.

And when you do your research, Marilyn, whether you're researching or interviewing, what is it that you are looking for? Like, what are the questions you ask?

Or I ask them. What do you love about your job? What's the biggest challenge of your job? And what is. Like, why do you like. What's your why in your job? And I usually get all the same answers. I really love the people I work with. I really love the organization. It values their people. So I'm really. I'm really just sort of. I'm really just connecting with the people to remind me that I really like these people. These people are really. They're really good people. And now that I've talked to them on the phone, when I see them in person and I have them come up to me before the event, it's easier for them to find me than for me to Find them. Then it makes my job easier because I'm more relaxed. I'm not walking into a corner cold room. And then when I talk about their pains or what their frustrations are, I recognize no matter what their level of level is in the organization, everybody has the same frustrations. So it shows me where to be compassionate with them on stage and use them as examples. And sometimes I learn the most incredible things about these people and like, oh my gosh, can I please have your permission to mention that from stage? So that ends up being pretty cool.

And why do you ask them that permission?

I don't want to embarrass them. Like one woman, she started, her mother started the company. It was an entrepreneurial franchise business convention. And she started her business when she was literally nine months pregnant because she wanted a job that she'd have flexibility raising her children. So I was interviewing the daughter who the mother was pregnant with. So she's a second generation owner of this franchise. And now they're a $20 million business. I'm like, what a success story. Do you mind if I tell that from the stage? No, go right ahead. So I would hate to embarrass somebody if they're like, oh my God, please don't tell my numbers or I don't want to be known for that.

But they.

You're edifying them though.

Junior Bridgman. It's an amazing story. Junior Bridgman tell a story about how we need to reserve judgment of other people. And about a woman going through a drive thru restaurant and she sees an ex NBA player taking her money. And she got so indignant that the guy wasted his talent, wasted his money, and now he's working at a fast food restaurant. So she calls a sports radio talk show and starts with all this vitriol against this guy saying, I can't believe he wasted all that money. Can you believe it? And the talk show host said, ma', am, that was Junior Bridgman. He doesn't just work at that Wendy's. He owns that Wendy's. He owns like 35 Wendy's. And then I met him at a Chili's convention because he was purchasing a boatload of Chili's restaurants. And I found out that what he does is he invests in cities that need economic development. So he builds the restaurants and hires people and then he just travels there and helps them out. And I said, can I please use that story? And he said, not here, I would rather you not. Because he's so humble, he does not want to be singled out in a convention of his peers.

But a lot of people, when you do single them out, it lifts them up, it connects you to the audience, and it also shows you did your homework. You weren't coming in with a canned speech.

Yes, but you gotta be careful with that, because I did that in when I was speaking for the German Speakers Association. I wanted to really connect with that audience. So I had a translator, and I went to the night before's event, and they were doing the election, and I'm like, what's happening now? It's really close. Okay, what's happening now? It's down to, like, two votes. Like, what's happening now? They can't believe it. It's so close. And so the translator was showing me all this tension, and the whole room I could see was really 10. And then eventually they announced the winner. So I thought, what a great way to open tomorrow by telling that story about, wow, what a tense night that was. And congratulations to our winner, who's now going to be the incoming chair of the association. You know, in your mind with your notes, it's like, hold for applause. It was crickets.

Aaron Hint. Darren Kint, Kent 1.

Exactly. And it was so awkward and uncomfortable. And I said, well, I'm sure that was like one of your front row moments in your life. And she just nodded. And I'm like, what happened? And I reflected on that, and I realized I just reminded half the audience that their person that they voted for did not win. So I put the whole. I mean, it shifted the energy in a way that in my opening line, it's like, okay, so make sure that when you do your homework that it enhances the vibe. It doesn't bring people down.

I'm curious, what was your recovery from that?

I just kept going.

The lesson is when. Yeah, when it happens, just keep going. Don't reflect, and try to do too much damage control. You get off script. Well, see, even. Even in our experiences and everyone catches this, even with our experience, there are times things don't go exactly as planned. But I hear all these wonderful techniques for us to learn. If somebody's emerging and they hear this, okay, good. Get to know him, get there early, meet people, find out where the pain points are. That was not organic for you. When did you come to the realization, I didn't do that? Well, maybe I need to do some more homework. Was there a point in time where you thought you, quote, unquote, messed up and needed to shift your approach when dealing with clients?

No, I think I've Been doing this so long that. And I'm. I've been at every single NSA convention since 1998, so I have not missed a convention. So I'm a lifelong learner, so I've always learned, just learning from the pros, like, what? Do the best of the best, do what works for them. So it's just something that I've learned. And I really hate to bomb on stage. I mean, like, I really hate it. Like, one time. I'm sure you love bombing stories.

I was gonna ask, did you ever bomb? So here you go.

Go ahead.

There was. It was during the night before reception, and there was a group of people that I could tell were talking about me. And I got really, like, it's kind of obvious you're talking about me. And I felt like the kid being picked on, so I just called him out. I said, are you guys talking about me? And they're like, yes, we are. We think you look like Angie Dickinson. Like, angie dickinson's, like, 75 years old. No, no, no. The young Angie Dickenson.

Policewoman Angie Dick, the hottie. Come on, Marilyn.

So I went back to my room, and I found a couple of shots of Angie Dickinson. There was an older version of Angie Dickinson, and then the younger version. So I told that story, and they laughed. They thought it was funny. But then, because I added an extra slide, I put thank you to the client, and I spelled their name wrong. And. Yeah. And if that's not bad enough, remember how I like to get the names of the people and interview them ahead of time. This particular audience, I waited until the reception the night before to interview them, which means I just didn't do it. I got too caught up with what was going on in my life, and I was like, I just procrastinated. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna leave him a message at the hotel, and I'm gonna see him at the reception. Those two things really made the meeting planner really upset. So upset. After I was done speaking, there was a luncheon. I was sitting next to her, and she wasn't really talking to me. And I said to her, hey, do you mind if I get a video testimonial? She said, no. I said, it's really easy. It's really quick. I'll just. And she's like, you know what? We'll do one when we get back to the office. We have a studio. We'll do one there. And then I'm like, happy. Go Lucky. And I go to the afternoon session. She goes, you really don't need to stay. I'm like, okay. And I leave. And I called the bureau and I said, just want to let you know the event went great. And she said, oh, I'm so happy to hear that. And I said, by the way, have you ever had a speaker call and say the event went great, and then you had the meeting planner call and they had a different opinion of that speaker? She said, yeah, it happened once. I said, oh, that's awful. Well, then my agent called, like, three days later, right before I was going on stage, and she said, what happened in San Diego? Like, what? She was. The bureau wants to know what happened. So it was those two things. The fact that I did not call the people that she gave me the names and phone numbers, and then I spelled their name wrong. Now, independently, I'm not so sure it would have been that big of a deal, but those two things together, she's like, I'm out. This was horrible.

Yikes.

Question for you. You said she called right before you were going on stage.

Yeah.

What impact, if any, Marilyn, did that have on your performance that day?

I told her later, don't ever, ever do that to me again.

She knew you were gonna be going on at that point in time?

Of course. This was my agent at the time, and she just. She wanted to know. And I'm like, you know, I' about to go on stage. And she goes, I know, I know, I know. I'm like, you know what? We will talk about this later. And then I had to regroup, you know, and then I had to review all those things in my win list.

Good thing you had it, Darren.

Yeah. So, Marilyn, thank you for your transparency. We love. Because I think people listening to this think just like I did early on, that all these pros, they never bomb. And so I think it's inspiring to know that we do and then learn from that. Marilyn, what do you think it takes to create an unforgettable presentation? What are some of the elements that people could work on?

I know that my business shifted when I put more humor in my keynote, and it shifted, too when I put more humor at the beginning of my demo video. Because humor sells. Humor shows engagement. Humor shows people are listening. It shows people are happy. And even with my last video, that. My new demo video, which is getting a ton of traction right now, my videographer, the producer, he had his own idea of what this video was going to look like. And the first really great laugh was like, at the three minute mark, I said, I told you from the beginning I'm going to give you a lot of leeway on this, but I need the humor up front. I need it all up front. And he did not agree with me, so he didn't put it in front. And then I had to say, you know what? We're now on version number three. I need the humor up front. He said, well, I wish you would have told me that earlier. So the humor is up front because that will engage people to then listen more to what the poignant points are. And the moving points.

Are you showing that diversity soon and early? And I know, Marilyn when you speak, because I got to watch you and be in the audience just a couple months ago here in Vegas. You're just amazing and have such rapport with your audience. I know one of your strengths is your storytelling, and I know you choose some great stories and you tell them well. So any advice on how to choose a story and then maybe how you go about refining it or making it better?

Well, the cardinal rule is never use somebody else's story. And I made that mistake one time. I was using a story by Christine Cashin, and then it was such a great story. It ended up in my demo video. And then during an NSA convention, there was a bureau there that was showing demo videos, and she showed both mine and Christine's.

And.

And she came up to me afterwards and said, you know, Christine is telling one of your stories in her demo video. It doesn't look good. And I'm like, no, stop. That is not right. And Christine was upset, rightfully so, and said, you know, now I have to redo my entire demo. I said, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. I'm taking it out immediately, and I'm never using the story again. And then on a more. And that was years ago. That was probably 20 years ago. And now recently, last year, I saw Scott Stratton speak, do a keynote here in Las Vegas, and he tells an amazing. And I'm like, that is a big story in my keynote. And now I have to take that out, because if he's saying it and we end up doing the same conference eventually or the next year, I would look like a hack. So the cardinal rule is, don't use anybody else's stories or anybody else's punchlines. There was a line that Rosita Perez said that just had me laughing so much. I met her afterwards and I said, do you mind if I use that line? It's so good thinking. Of course I'm going to use the line. And she said, no, that's My line, find your own line. And I never used that story. And even now that she's passed, I still have never used that story. And when she was sick, we had a beautiful dinner at Lou Heckler's house. And she said, you were so gracious. And I said, no, you were gracious. And she said, marilyn, I. I'll give you all my stories. I said, no, those are your stories. And I'm going to take your advice, and I'm going to continue to find my own stories.

You know, Marilyn, when I hear that, what I'm not hearing you say is, we all have our own stories, but we admire stories so much, we think it's a great story. And Darren always says, people, look, you don't need to have, you know, climb through a ravine and cut your arm off to find great stories. We all have our own stories. But when you meet a storyteller who's really talented, it's easy to admire and almost have what Darren calls story envy. Right?

Yeah.

But if you think about it, we all have our own experiences. I mean, just hearing you telling me that you gave your first paid speech at 17, I might be a little bit jealous of that, but it's an amazing story. The problem is, though, maybe you'll agree with this. Sometimes our stories are so close to us, we think it's no big deal. Whereas to the audience, they'd be like, wow, you gave your first speech when you were 17. Tell me more. And to you, it was your life, but to them, it's fantastic. So I tell people, you know, one man's mundane is another man's magnificent. One person's mundane is another person's magnificent. So your mundane story, Marilyn, I think, is magnificent.

Wow. And Marilyn, I second everything he says. You also have this amazing chair that you send out after the time. For those of you listening to the podcast, I'm holding it up. It says, success sits here. It has her theme on it reserved for Darren. But what's super cool about this? Also on the back, Mark, she put a lot of time and effort into. This is something that you sent after the fact to some of your event planners. Like, I just love this. It's one of those most amazing leave behinds, but it's actually a mail behind, I guess. Sorry, mail. M A I L behind.

Yeah, that's the best part is my customized box. I made these custom or I had these made. And it's got a chair on it, and it says, your front row seat is here, here. And it's got my front row logo on it. So, yeah, it's a beautiful. I used to send out. I used to send out little flashlights to remind people, to illuminate the path for others and to be an usher. And I even had one of my clients give out flashlights to everybody in the audience. And then I lost my audience because as soon as they opened up the box in the middle of my speech, they had to take them apart to put the batteries in. It's like, okay, back here. But no, I just. It's just something that. It's a labor of love because it takes a while to paint on the chairs the messages, but on the bottom of the chair, I would put the name of the event and the date, and then I send it to them. And it's something that they. They love. And they. Yeah, thank you for being you. Yeah. So. So it's something that's very unique to me, and it's something that they can put on their. Their desk, and it's something that I want them to remember. And then I'll get emails from people saying, marilyn, I thought about you, and I decided to go to the front row. And then they'll tell me their front row story. So I think it's a perfect. It's like a perfect storm of a concept, a theme, an idea, a keynote.

It's part of what makes you unforgettable, because it's not only your experience, but now you're extending that experience. And when you can send a leave behind that sits on someone's desk, you are unforgettable. And they remember the moment and it brings them back to that moment and reminds them of that message that you're trying to leave with them. I just think it's one of the ways you're unforgettable.

I'm curious, Marilyn, have you ever considered doing a publication, a leaflet, a LinkedIn article, something on your site with my favorite front row stories from people who get back to you and tell you how your presentation changed them. Not about you, but about them and what changes they've been in their lives just to share with your audience and your followers.

I had thought about that and then I didn't know exactly how to do it. So the mechanics. I have ideas all over the place, but it's the mechanics that I don't understand. And I would love to have people share their front row moments, stories in one place so everybody can see what it means for other people to live their life in the front row, whether it's a relationship or a job or promotion. Or an opportunity. Yeah, it's a great idea. And if you know how to mechanically do that, I'm all ears.

Well, I'm not that mechanical. But maybe, maybe your mastermind group has somebody who may have an idea. You know, a repository, a page on your site, Leave your comments here or leave your front row stories here, and then you maybe do a publication once every so often. I don't know. This idea came to me and I don't know how to do it either. But I thought, man, the world needs to hear these front row stories. And Darren may have some clue for you.

I'm not sure I call them front row moments.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah. So I want people to hashtag front row moments. What was their favorite front row moment? What did they do that like? Oh, my gosh, this is a moment. Like when I went to go see Elton John. My videographer was in town and so he took video of me, like, crying. This is a front row moment for me. I'm going to see Elton John. Because it's different for everybody.

Well, maybe could be on the Gram or. Sorry, on the ig. I don't know what this ig. The Gram is so kid like, I guess. But maybe on Instagram you could just post a moment from somebody and it's right there. And your followers say, oh, somebody, and then I'll share mine. And before you know it, you become the clearinghouse for all these front row moments again. Just an idea came to mind.

That's a great idea. And today's Front Row Friday, so today would be a good day to do that.

Well, we could say that being on the Unforgettable presentations podcast was your front row moment today. So who knows on Friday?

Well, you could also start a blog or blog category and Then take your URL. Marilyn Sherman.com frontrow stories.

Front row features.

Front row features or front row moments.

Yes.

And then have it go directly to the blog or and then take those, the best ones, and turn it into a book.

But good idea, right?

Yeah.

Marilyn Sherman, you'll get the bill later.

So nevermind. No, just kidding. Just kidding, Marilyn. Go ahead, Darren.

So Mark takes notes throughout our podcast on the aha. Moment. Or we call him keepers. So we're gonna have Mark recap that in just a second. But first, if somebody wants to get in touch with you, know more about you, go see your demo video, consider having you in as a speaker, or get one of your books. Where would you send them?

Marilyn Sherman.comfrontrowsuccess.com that goes to my website, Marilyn Sherman.com Sweet.

So, Marilyn Sherman.com, m A R I L Y N S H E R M a n marilyn sherman.com or frontrowsuccess.com yes. Wonderful.

So we have corporate presenters, entrepreneurs, and pastors who listen to this. What one last bit of advice would you give to them for them to make their presentations unforgettable?

I think defaults to always, always, always caring about the people in that room. You know, if you really care about them, then you're in the moment. I think far too many speakers are in their head too much, and they're thinking about sounding good and looking good. And that, to me, is pure ego. And when you let go of your ego, of looking good and sounding good and knowing that it's not about you, it's about your audience. And that's the advice that maybe some of your listeners sometimes get fearful when they have a big audience that they're about to be in front of. And I called my mentor, and I had been used to speaking in front of groups of 40 and 50 people, and all of a sudden there was going to be 200 people in the room. And I called them up in tears. I was so scared. And he asked me two questions that I've never forgotten, and I think it'll be of value to your audience, your listeners, on how to overcome any kind of doubt and fear going up on stage. He asked me these two questions. He said, do you believe in what you're about to present? Do you believe in the material? Do you believe it? And I'm like, absolutely, I believe it. Number two, do you believe that what you're about to present will be of value to that audience you're about to present it to? Absolutely. And he said, then everything else is ego. And that really got me. And sorry to bury the lead. We could have started the program with that. But it's not about how you look and how you sound, although that's very important. And it's also better to sound good than look good. I always tell that to my AV crew. But you want to be of value to your audience. And if you care enough about that audience, then you will be present with them. Like the other day when I was at an event when the alarms kept going off because there was a hurricane warning, and then the phone started going off. Every once in a while there was like a wave of it, and then it would stop. And by the third time, I just stopped and said, you know what? We should make this a drinking game. And they laughed so much. But I never would have come up with that line had I been in my head thinking about what my next line was. But when you're present and when you're with your audience because you care about them and them getting the information, you can't go wrong.

Yeah. We always say if you're in your head, your emotions are dead and the audience wants you present. Not perfect.

That's perfect. Yes, yes, yes, yes. People love me because I'm imperfect. I celebrate my imperfection.

In the front row.

In the front row.

Mark Brown, what do we have for keepers for this episode? Wow.

I got a mouse. And the first was a keeper that got from somebody else. Basically, if you don't use what you have, you handicap yourself. Your message is who you already are. Love that. Make a win list of all the positives in your evaluations and find the truth in the negative comments. Marilyn says, I customize every presentation. Identify client pain points, find out what they love, why they do what they do, their biggest frustrations and challenges, why it's about the audience. Love them. Care about them. Erase your ego. Be a lifelong learner, and learn from the pros. Wow. We got so many. And for me, the biggest one is this. Erase your ego and love your audience. Thanks so much, Marilyn.

My pleasure.

Yeah, I also wrote down, too, Mark. I usually don't write down keepers, but there's so many really good ones that she is also willing to look at. Was there an element of truth in the criticism that could truly make her better? Not to focus on the critic, but to focus on where maybe could I improve? Was there a little bit of trouble? And then she doesn't walk into a cold room because she strategically warms it up ahead of time, which I love that. Marilyn Sherman, thank you for being here with us. And there might be a rumor that you might make an appearance at stagetime Live, but we.

You know what? That would be an honor to speak on your stage because you guys are like, world class winners and you've got people that really love and adore what you do. So it'd be great to be in that world, and I could tell some of these stories live.

Wouldn't that be cool? Garrett? I mean, he could come to see our game changers at Stagetime Live. What do you think?

Stagetimelive.com we can't say it won't be advertised, but she just might show up. Marilyn Sherman, thanks for being with us. You truly live in the front row. You're one of my favorite speakers. You are unforgettable thank you Darren.

Thank you Mark. It was a pleasure being here.

Awesome.

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