Ep. 255 WHEN THE ANSWER IS NO

Hey there, Mark Brown. What do you do when the client says no?

Ouch. Yeah, it can be a tough pill to swallow does that. But the question is, does the journey end there? And how can we, how can we know and do something valuable with it?

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcast with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

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Yeah, we know not everyone's gonna say yes. However, maybe no means not yet.

Not yet exactly.

Maybe no means that's not the best option. Maybe no means what else do you got? Or maybe no means you just talking to the wrong person at the wrong time. There's so many reasons. Here's what we need to remember as speakers. Sometimes we take it to heart, we take it personally. It's not personally. Sometimes it's just a business decision and they know that. They know that the committee wants a woman speaker and I'm a pale, middle aged white guy and that's the current hot situation or hot topic, so we can't take it personally. That's number one. I still struggle with that on occasion because I care so much. But you and I have to remember. And Mark and I both had some stories that happened recently where they said no, but they were saying no to a certain idea for a certain event at a certain time. Here's my. My big aha to myself is that I want to create such rapport that they remember me on the pitch call as a valuable all in. I want to be your favorite option, not a suck up. But that look, I got content. I can help. This is what I do. This is what I love. There's going to. Event planners plan events and there's not just one event that they're planning. They might have two or three and you might be great, you might be perfect. By the way, they could even be disappointed with the person that they do choose. So maybe they call you back next year because they wanted. It was a good feeling. But the old, you know, Maya Angelou quote, people don't care. People remember you make them feel right. So in that pitch call, are you making them feel like you have confidence, like you own your content, that if right now or this event isn't right, that's okay with you. You're gonna be okay. You're not gonna go home and cry that you know. There's gonna be a way, there's gonna be a time where they call you back. You gotta leave the confidence in your voice. You've gotta leave that with them. And even if they never call you back, you're never gonna know all the reasons. So please don't take it personally. Mark.

Yeah. The key of being a member there is, no matter what the outcome of the conversation may be, what you would like them to remember is here's someone who. One, knows their content. Two. Is competent in what they know. Three, is willing to serve. Four. And would go all in if we do, at some point, choose to go with them. Every good speaker, every professional speaker has had a no at some point in their lives. And as Darren says, a no could be a not now, but you have to. You have. It is your responsibility as a professional, as a presenter to present yourself, your program, in the. In the best way you possibly can. And I said yourself first, deliberately. We think I'm going to present my program. No, you're presenting yourself. You are selling you first, the same you. I always say, bring all of you to every presentation. Bring all of you to every meeting so they get to know who you are and understand even if the answer is not yes. Now, they'll keep your name in the proverbial Rolodex. If you're under 40, you may have no idea what that means in the contact list to get back here at some point in time, as Darren said, we both have received no's that at some other point in time have become yeses. So do not be disheartened if you get a no. Just think, okay, what do I learn from this? And please take that meeting, that, that call as an opportunity to learn what they're looking for. To learn how can you be better at what you do? Perhaps in the. In the cell, in the ask. But don't think because it's a no, it's the end. A no could actually be a beginning, believe it or not.

Yeah. We need to remember that we might not be the best answer for this event. So when we're asking them what do they want for the outcome, we might know someone who is a better fit than us. Well, if I say, hey, if you're talking about leadership or pitching, you gotta bring in Ed Tate or Ford Sakes, and I give them some options and they talk to them and choose them, and they're perfect. They're Gonna remember how I made them feel. And they will keep me in mind because it's our reputation, good or bad, how we serve or not serve. And when we take any time, I've taken it because it's convenient. It's the money. It's in Vegas. And I went against some of my better thoughts because I made a money decision. Usually is not fun, not pretty, and it doesn't lead to more business. So, Mark, in our situation, I was asked to pitch them about facilitating. This was for YPO and teaching, training, training trainers how to facilitate. And I thought I was a great option. But I had a great call with them, built great rapport, and felt like I left with a new friend and just a great connection. And they said no, but they didn't forget me. There was also something in me that I knew somehow, some way, I'm going to work with them because the connection was good, because I was. I was so intent on helping and serving, and I knew I had the content along with the intent. Get that, Mark? Content.

Yes, content and intent.

And intent. My intention was. Was spot on. And serving that. They ended up calling us back a few months later and they hired both Mark and me for coaching. So that good impression that I left left a good taste in her mouth. And they also knew, as Patricia Fripp says, it's our responsibility to let people know how they can use us, how they can use us. So the seed needs to be planted by us. We need to make that suggestion in a way that serves them, in a way that they. That in a way that's unforgettable.

Yeah. And the cool thing is, funny enough, not only did we get engaged to coach speakers, we also, as a bonus, presented for them at two of their events in two different countries. And I want to go back to one thing Darren said earlier about the referral he made of other speakers. They will remember your enthusiasm, your confidence, your program. But when you refer someone who they then select and they then, like, they now see you as somebody who's a resource, your integrity is holding up. And, hey, we told him no, but he was willing to find somebody else for us. You know what? That particular speaker, they got integrity. They got good character. They're willing to, even though we disappoint them, they say refer somebody else who we did hire, they will view you differently as someone who said, no, thank you, goodbye, and you walked away. You're maintaining the relationship with them and you're showing your flexibility and what else you can offer. So Darren's pitch to do Training ended up being coaching and presenting. And we're not done with that organization yet. I think we've got more to work to do with them, you know, and it's, it's, don't think the no is going to be an end all. It's very quickly there. It's similarly, it was the reverse for me. I had a potential coaching client, we had two zoom calls and the answer was no. But in the process of conversation of conversation, I made them aware of other ways I could serve with a workshop or a training. And as you know, Darren, earlier this year I ended up flying to Europe to do a one day training for the same client who had told me no for the coaching. And in the process I also established a relationship with a leader within the organization that I maintained. And we're continuing to have conversations now of what else we can do. And that all stemmed from me getting a no. The work we're doing now, work I'm doing later on this year stemmed from you getting a no. But the no was not the end.

Yeah, and as you said, they brought us in for coaching and we offered, hey, we're going to be on site. If you want to use us in any other way, we'd love to, we're going to be there anyway. And so they said, oh, you know what, we would love you to talk to our learning officers about how to choose the right speaker. And you and I did that. Two separate rooms, two small groups, 20 minute presentations. Well, that just led to another big contract for you to go to Australia because of someone who is in my room. And we also have several proposals out there for other YPO chapters around the world. So being that favorite, not letting no be the end, but accepting the no for that presentation for that specific group. And it was a large contract that I didn't get, but it led to something that were three times the contract. So we just want you to know we don't always get yeses, but we always play full out because it is a relationship business. And I didn't understand that in the 90s. Relationships, what. But like you're saying, Mark, when you recommend somebody and they love them, they remember that and now they know your resource, people who know who can serve. So they come back to that resource for other recommendations.

Yeah, and the thing is here you're, you're showing excellence. Even though you don't get a chance to show your presentation, your workshop, your keynote, you are showing excellence in the relationship and showing them that you understand the industry as well. You aren't standing alone all by yourself. You have, you have connections, you have contacts. You, you, you have a network from which you can pull and that tells them also how serious you are. You know, some standalone person doing a one off. Here's somebody I can actually work with and relate to. And our stories are living proof of this. I didn't expect to get a one day coaching training out of a overall coaching no, but I maintained the relationship. And I maintained the relationship to this very day. So please be encouraged. A no could simply be a not now, not yet. You, you aren't the right fist fit for us, but we see something in you that eventually we can build some kind of relationship together. We can work together. So leave that door open and always stay positive. Always have dignity. Always be professional about it. Even if you think I really should have gotten it. Be professional. It'll go a long, long way.

Yeah. Just a reminder, you don't know what else is going on, who else is in their ear, who else is on the committee, what their opinions are. You can't take it personally. But Mark, as it's been said, you got to play the long game, right?

Right. Right.

Got to play the long game. Because when you set the right tone, set the right mood, be that person that makes them feel good, like you're on their team, they're going to remember that and it separates you from other people. Even if it's a no, it's a no. Not now, maybe no, not for this event, but it's not no forever.

Correct.

You know, and we can pick up something from that meeting. Maybe there's something you said you shouldn't have. Maybe, you know, we can learn from it. Another good reason to record calls with permission. Because maybe you had that opportunity and maybe you just didn't say the right thing. Well, go back and review your calls, Mark. I hated that when I worked at Bose as a telemarketer, they would record all of our calls for quality assurance. You don't know what quality assurance means when you got to sit there and listen to some of your calls with your boss. Like, that's painful. But then I ask, would I buy from me? So just like we encourage you to record yourself giving a presentation, I would encourage you to record yourself when you're doing the pitch call.

Yep.

When you have that opportunity. And if it doesn't go well, okay, what could you have done better next time? It's about that process. We want to build on that. So when the answer is no, don't take it personally. And it's not no forever. It's not.

It could be simply not now. And the later could be so much more than you imagined if you take the no in the right mindset, in the right frame of mind.

See you next week.

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