Ep. 263 THE MATH TO MASTERY?

Hey there, Mark Brown. Last week we talked about Toastmasters, we talked about nsa, the National Speakers association. But truly, if you want to be unforgettable, you got to become a master at both the skill and the business of speaking. So when I focused in, I'm like, what do people really need? What do they really need? What was I missing for so many years? Trying to figure it out on my own. Now I had the habit. Stage time, stage time, stage time. Which is a great habit, except if you're not getting new insights, you're going to practice and reinforce bad habits. So I still believe in the value of stage time, but if you want to master something, I think there's a little bit more. Anything to add to that, Mark?

Let's talk about the math to mastery.

Oops. See, you gotta master it, you gotta make mistakes.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation? Ahas. Let's dive right in.

All right, Mark. Mastery. What does it take to master anything? My thoughts automatically go to Mr. Miyagi, the Karate Kid mentor. Mr. Miyagi, wax on, wax off. And here's the funny part about that. Daniel, Daniel's son didn't understand. It didn't make sense to him. Well, if you're trying to grow, that's part of the process. You've got to try new things. You've got to get a new perspective. Mark, what's your thoughts to mastery?

Well, you mentioned, I want to keep with the metaphor of the Karate Kid. Daniel San found himself in the company under the tutelage and the guidance of a master. And to master something requires the years you put in, the work you put in the effort you put in, the mistakes you make, and eventually get into a place where you can master it. And it's difficult to become a master all on your own when you're beginning from scratch. And sometimes there are individuals who figure, you know, I can do a self taught thing. You know, we're in a DIY world, do it yourself, right? We want to do it, DIY it and find our way and eventually we get to a place where we get pretty good. But there has to be a simpler process. I think it's worth our while to have a talk today, a conversation about a process that can help us become not only better or become masters at our craft and at our skills.

Yeah, I think the starting point is making the decision, deciding like, I'm gonna do this. And we talked a little bit about this last week. When it's a dream, you know, isn't something you wish for, it's something you work for. Well, you can wish people would call you and book you for speaking, but what are you actually doing to become a master that when they see you on stage, they've got to have you. And it starts with that decision that I'm not going to live like this anymore. I'm not going to live at this level anymore. So the way I have the math to mastery, I define it as effort. So you gotta make the decision that you're willing to put in the effort and go beyond where you are now, get to that next level. So effort is the beginning point. Until effort, you're just dipping your toe in the water until you make the decision that I am going to do this. Enough is enough. We've got to have that enough is enough moment. And when I look at my life, it's when I have those enough is enough moments that that's when things change. But I think differently and I act differently because I made the decision. So if you're wanting to be unforgettable, it's good to have the want. But when you decide I'm going to be unforgettable now, you're going to break through some barriers. You're going to demystify some of those myths or those false beliefs that you have. Maybe it's insecurity about you and your life and your value. Maybe it's techniques or that you've never heard of. I never heard of world class techniques like you taught me, Mark. When just in storytelling I told a story, I didn't realize it was past tense versus current bringing us, the audience to the moment. That was boom. That was something I would have never figured out on my own. But effort, decide what else on effort, Mark.

We need to be cautious here because some people think, well, if I put in massive effort, it's finally going to come through. And sometimes the effort we put in you, we work at it. We work at it. We work at it might not be the best effort we put in. Some people say, well, look, I'm going to be all in. Whatever I do, I'm going to do all in. But if we're not very clear on where to focus our effort, that could be a problem. However, the idea is I believe I can do it, I decide to do it, I got to commit to it. So when we say I'm going to put all effort, I'm going to commit to putting the effort, but I have to make sure I'm putting the effort in the right practices, the right processes, the right focus, the right attention, the right emphasis. Sadly, some people want to find the quickest and the easiest and the shortcut way to do things. And I understand that. I was playing football in Jamaica, well, soccer to some North Americans. And we had to do laps around the football fields. And there's always some guys who would cut the corner by the corner flags, you would do the long side cut. And cutting corners, you really shortchanging yourself. You may think you get where you're going more quickly, but by putting the right amount of effort in trying to cut corners, you really shortchanging yourself. When we cut corners, we reduce our level of fitness as an athlete. If we reduce the effort we put in, we reduce our effectiveness as presenters, we reduce the power of our message, we reduce the impact on our audience and we reduce the influence that we can have if we put the right effort in. So I think we can agree, we can believe, we must believe, we must decide, but we must also commit to putting in the effort. Where do we put all that effort? Darren?

Yeah. If you've heard me say stage time, stage time, stage time. I was all in for the effort when I made that initial decision. But if I'm going to be honest here, four Toastmaster clubs, seven years, nsa, seven years, I wasn't making much progress even though I was getting more comfortable and more competent on stage. If you know me and my style, I'm very animated. So I became more confident, more confident, more animated. But I wasn't saying anything. So it was like watching a train wreck. So I became more intriguing. However, people didn't leave changed, they didn't leave inspired. They left like, oh, wow, he's comfortable or he's confident. Maybe they even some thought I was a good speaker. But unless they are thinking about themselves, you're just not the speaker you could be. They need to leave thinking about themselves, not you are a great speaker. So that comes to step number two in the multiplication, mastery and the math to mastery, effort multiplied by. I'm from New England, so sometimes we say times.

Times. Yeah, Jamaica, they would say times, no problem.

A proven process. So when I started in Stand up, it was the book Stand Up Comedy. The Book, it gave me a process to follow that I was unfamiliar with. Just like Mr. Miyagi gave Daniel San some exercises he didn't understand, but he was walking him through a process. Wax on, wax off.

Wax off. Yeah. Paint the fence.

When I became a sponge again and I started in stand up, I went to someone who was where I wanted to be. Headliner, comedian Chris McGuire. And I asked him. Now, I didn't know him. I just walked up to him after the show and asked him, hi, my name's Darren. What do I need to do? He said, number one, go get the book. The book. So the book is the Process. In stagetime University, we teach the process. We teach the process on how to create an unforgettable presentation, the process on how to tell unforgettable stories, the process on how to get laughs, and the process of own the stage, your own personal delivery. We call it the core four. So we give you the core four. So there are four different processes for four different skill sets in the speaking realm. Now, you may have one that you're naturally good at. Maybe you're a great storyteller. However, maybe you could be better at it so you stand out with your natural talents once you understand the world class techniques. So if you have a natural talent, that can be awesome. It could also be devastating if you're not open to learning how to make it better. It could be just nullifying or keeping you at that same level. Unless you're hungry and eager to figure out, how could I do it better? Even something as simple as writing an introduction. I don't need that. Well, yes, you do. You're speaking at a convention or conference. Don't let them use your bio for the introduction. That is horrible. That makes your job more difficult because you haven't set up the audience to want to hear what you're going to say. So again, the Process.

Now, Darren, remind me. You told me a story years ago about the process, and you told me you invited people to take the book test. You mentioned that book, and I know you mentioned the book as part of the process, but help us, those of us who are new to the podcast, to understand, one, what the book test was, and two, why it was so important to you in the context of somebody who claims they want to master it, they claim they want to get to mastery. Explain the book test real quick, please.

Yeah, so, because after I won the world championship, a lot of people came to me for advice because they knew standup was my background. A lot of them wanted to be funnier So I would give them what I call the get the book test. So I tell them the story that I just mentioned here, where I walked up to Chris McGuire, asked him for advice. He said, get the book. So I tell people who come to me, I advise them to get the same book that I got, get the book, and then go through it, do the exercises, and then we can talk. Now, keep in mind, if you have a lot of people looking for free advice, you have a lot of people looking for free advice, but which takes a lot of time. So what I'm doing with the get the book test is I'm finding out who's serious, who made decision number one, that I'm going to figure this out. Well, if you say you're going to figure this out and you go to someone who is where you want to be, they give you a bit of advice, and you don't follow it. Why would I give you more advice if you're not willing to go get a $12 book on Amazon? You're never gonna do the hard stuff. When I went to my mentor, Alan Weiss, I would literally write down everything he told me to do if we would. You know, he had offered to have lunch for other NSA members. This is early on. I'm not saying he does it now. I do it now for my local chapter, take them to lunch, and he gives me things I must do. I wouldn't dare go back to him and ask him for more advice until I checked off everything on that list. I just don't get why people would do that. But they're looking for that shortcut. It goes back to, number one, make the decision and put in the effort. And if you're not willing to do that, why should anyone help you more?

And the thing is, please understand, I'm not saying anybody who's hearing this does this. But when you take those shortcuts, when you bypass steps offered to you by someone who has been where you are and has achieved what you want to achieve, it's in your best interest, interest to follow that process. And the book is simply an example and a metaphor. You're also telling the person, I'm willing to do what is necessary to become a master. Daniel San didn't want to whitewash fences and wash cars, but Miyagi said, wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. Here, here. How to use. How to use a paintbrush technique. And he understood later the power and the value of what he was learning. So if you want to become that master, even when it may not make complete sense to you. When you have a mentor and a coach who's advising you, I recommend you do what they say. And Darren and I laugh about this because we had an encounter at one point when we were working together back in 01, where I gave Darren instructions that didn't make sense to him because of his personality. I mean, he has told a story several times. If you're new, you might have. Might not have heard it, but to Darren, write down the ideas on paper. You can't edit what you don't write down. And your answer was, I'm a bullet point guy.

I don't write things out word for word. I can't be stuck in the script. I can't do that. That's not me. You don't understand me.

We went back and forth. At one point, thankfully, Dave McElhenne, his other coach, was there. He cannot call timeout. We both cannot cool off, go to a neutral Corner, take a 10 count. But we laugh about that now. We do. But, Darren, I are like brothers. We are. We're very close. But that moment, that day in the auditorium, the Wallace Auditorium with Readers Digest in New York, was a point where Darren had to come to terms with, I need to follow this process in order to become the master I want to be. I'm not saying I was a great wise man, but I just knew in the moment that particular step was a part of the process. Darren needed to be where he is today. And seeing him do what he does now and the hard. He has to help people. Trust me, friends, when he says it, he's lived it. He's made the mistakes. And he knows when we can find a proven process, it can make a significant difference to our progress and put us on the right path to mastery.

Yeah. So effort times or multiplied by a process is almost mastery. There's still one more part of the math to mastery. So effort times a proven process plus qualified coaching. You need the Mr. Miyagi, you need the wax on, wax off. You need the process, which Daniel San didn't understand. He was building his muscles to be able to deflect punches, but he was working on it. He put in the effort. But you still need Mr. Miyagi to help you tweak your technique. There you go, Mark. Tweak your technique. Your technique.

I like that. Darren is rhyming. That was wonderful. Yes.

Effort times a proven process plus qualified coaching equals mastery. And I challenge you to disprove this formula. I believe it, but this applies to anything you want to master. You Want to master painting, you want to master mountain climbing, you want to master fill in the blank. I believe in this formula. It's simple, it's powerful, but if you take out one element, you're not going to become that master you desire to be.

Now, you said earlier, Darren, about a nice little rhyme, tweak your technique. And my brain went back to the film the Karate Kid. And I can't believe it was sitting on this film for so much today. But I remember when Mr. Miyagi would have Daniel paint on the paintbrush, but he would hold his arm, lock his wrist and show him what the technique was to do the painting, which was really mastering the little techniques. He was tweaking it to make Daniel better at what he does in the world of speaking. You mentioned earlier, Darren, how you were able to tweak techniques, convert narration to dialogue, go from past tense to present tense, bring the audience in the moment you're still telling the story, but you were tweaking your technique to make it more effective. And we, those of us, those of you who know us, know we talk about qualified coaching quite a bit. We tell our stories as well, but understand when you qualify with the word qualified to learn advanced techniques that really masters use almost flawlessly and easily. And they're small changes. It's funny, Darren. I have the privilege of being the pro speaker coach for the National Speakers Association Georgia Chapter. So I coach the cohorts directly myself every year. My second year we have our showcase this year, September 7th, and I do a little 10 minute talk before our boot camp sessions. And I talked about the, your stageology and the idea of a stage plan and I briefly mentioned that stage mastery stageology. And two of them said, oh, Mark, that's a game changer. I never thought of that. And your individuals, some of whom have spoken before, but the idea that a stage could itself be a prop, the stage could be a tool for learning your script or delivering your message, for giving the or an experience. Those, they viewed that skill as mastery at a level they had not even been taught before. I say this not to brag. I say this to say it took me 30 years to learn some of this and some I learned from you because you were a stage person. You're very strong on stageology, that's your word. But realize when you have someone who understands the nuances, who is willing to help you, guide you, coach you, support you and instruct you, that is a component you should not take for granted. And Darren, I'm going to hit a hot Button word that I know gets you going. And the word is ego. Sometimes we are good and we know we're good. And we figure, I don't need a whole lot of help, maybe a tweak here or there, but I've got this. I wonder if you ever said that to yourself, Darren, as well.

Well, that's when I owned the Subway shop. That was my biggest problem. I was right out of business school, four years of business school. Then I invested in the Subway franchise. Here's the metaphor. I invested in a process, and then my ego thought I knew better. I'm right out of business school now. There's 5,000 Subway stores at that time, doing it a certain way, following a certain process. And so, just like you said, Mark, I tried to cut some corners and save a few bucks, and I didn't follow the process. I didn't commit to the process. Well, about a year and a half later, I had to sell the business at a loss. And by the way, I don't blame Subway. They did some things that I thought made things more challenging. They opened another store just down the road for me. But bottom line is my responsibility. I invested in the system and then I chose not to follow it. So that's why when I started standup in Subway, I thought I knew better. In stand up, I knew I didn't know. So I was smart enough to have that understanding that I was clueless, which made me a sponge, which made me open and hungry and eager until 2001, when my ego was creeping back in. And I thought I knew better.

Better.

And you gave me a process. And my ego is in the way to not follow it. So I needed the humility or the humbleness that you in your humility, gently, kindly and lovingly, oh, Darren, we have some work to do.

What? Anyway, you've said that several times, and I know we kind of chucked and laugh about that, but this last piece about qualified coaching, we have done podcasts about coaching before. We have kind of hammered the idea of qualified. And I know we have people who we like and those who may like us, but sometimes the most qualified is not the person you quote, unquote, have as a best friend, but is a person who is best qualified to show you what you do well and help you improve on what you do as well. And that kind of goes back to our podcast, Darren, about the NSA and Toastmasters, where you may find people who can really, who are really qualified to help you in these organizations. And if you want to master anything outside speaking, photography, for argument's sake, find someone who knows how to handle wear on a camera, who can give you guidance and direction and it makes a significant difference. Will you grow with effort? Yes. Will you grow with effort and the process? Most definitely. But will you grow exponentially with the effort, the process and qualified coaching? I tell you what for me, I did in my speaking journey. I began in Toastmasters in 1994 over 30 years ago, and I did not know what I was doing. Went to my first meeting in 92, became a member in 93 as an accountist. 94, went to the world championships, kind of by happenstance, believe it or not. Did not know what I was doing and everything changed in one year under the tutelage of a great coach, a qualified coach. The speaker I was in 94 summer was significantly inferior to the speaker I became in 95 summer with David Brooks guidance and help. But that was almost 30 years ago. I continued to grow and improve. I have mentors like Willie Jolly, like Patricia Fripper. If you don't know who they are, ask Siri. Google them. These are legends in the speaking business, people like Mike Rayburn. These are experts who I can go to and say, listen, I need help here. Can you help me even though I am a qualified coach myself? Guess what? Even coaches have coaches, even therapists have therapists. And even the pros who are the best at what they do have coaches as well. So we encourage you. You want to be a master? Yes. Decide, put the effort in. Yes. Find a proven process, not just a process, because some processes aren't that well proven. A proven process from an expert and then get qualified coaching and put you on squarely on the path to mastery. And that math does add up.

And I'm going to flip things around for you listening to this. As a presenter, what does your audience need from you? Well, they need enough inspiration or a great story to get them to commit to changing what they do and how they do it. If it wasn't for that, they're not going to do anything else. So number one, we've got to inspire them to make the decision to basically go all in for whatever your subject is. They need a process to follow. Now, in your one hour keynote, you might not be able to give them the whole process, but you got to at least give them step one of what they could do. And maybe your book, maybe a course, maybe something as a follow up to give the rest of the process. And then do you offer coaching or consulting that if people do want to get your help that you have a way in your revenue model to be able to deliver that. Because if people like you, they like your process, they're not going to need. Also going to need your gut, excuse me, they're going to need your guidance to stay on track, to get back on track, to notice when they stray a little. Just like Danielson, to keep the metaphor going. And I believe in this so much. This is how I designed stagetime University. I designed. If you want to work on the skill we have presentation mastery. Well, what do you need? Well, you got to decide, you got to join us, be a part of the stage time family. And then I have several processes on one, how to create a presentation, create your keynote by next week. Two, how to tell unforgettable stories, secrets of storytelling. Three, get more laughs by next week and four, own the stage delivery. So I give the core four processes and that alone would be great because now I don't have to put any more effort or time. I just need to get people to register and go through the process. Well, that's not enough. Now they need the qualified coaching part. So every Wednesday we have two coaches, two world class coaches on every call giving three of our members feedback, direct specific feedback. In 20 minutes your story is going to change. Some people just have an idea for a story. So my coaches, Mark being one of them, me being one of them, we'll do a story dig and help dig out of you the critical elements to the story instead of you trying to figure it out in isolation. So every Wednesday we have qualified coaching calls. Now on the business side, I packaged my business processes, how to get paid to speak by next week, how to say what, how to, how to figure out where your value lies. So I have several business processes and then twice a month we have business mentoring calls where you can ask Ford Sakes and me a question. We can look at your, look at your website, your LinkedIn profile, your demo reel, your one sheet, you can get feedback on that. It follows exactly what I'm talking about here. That's I believe in this so much. That's how I design stage time. So if you'd like to work on your skills or your business or both, go to stagetimeuniversity.com on the website. If you look at it and you're not quite sure, there's a couple of 59 minute free trainings that you can go through. One by Mark and me on unforgettable presentations, one by Ford and me on get paid to speak training. So we give you a taste of it to help you decide maybe we're not for you, but find those proven process and the qualified coaching to get the right people to help you get where you want to go. We can't be masters alone. Mark, final thoughts?

Yeah, my final thought is this. I hope you caught the brilliance what Darren just said. As a presenter, you too can provide mastery or the path to mastery by inspiring your audience members to put effort in to give them your process. That worked for you. Again, you can't do all in 45 minutes, but at least you can lead them to your own qualified coaching, a cohort or a program you're involved in. And they can become masters as a result of you following your own process of going through the effort, finding the process and mastering it. And that's what we do here at Stage Time. Look, our goal is simple. We would like everyone who hears our podcast to become good. No, to become great, but not really. Our goal is to help you to be unforgettable. Everything we do is centered around helping you to master the craft and become unforgettable. We'd love for you to join us, but don't forget the math. Put it. Decide first, make the effort, find the process, apply it, use it. And align yourself with those who are qualified to help you to achieve your goal. That's how you become unforgettable.

I'll see you next week.

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