Ep. 265 WHEN LIFE HAPPENS?

Hey there, Mark Brown.

Hey, Darren.

Life happens. Just because we're a speaker does not mean we don't have normal lives. We don't have families, we don't have stresses, we don't have challenges. In fact, we have just as many as everyone else. The one bonus is we can turn it into a story that can help us.

You're right. You're right.

If you're listening to this on one of the audio platforms, it might sound a little different than normal. The reason why is I'm on the road because life happens, so I'm doing okay. But life is going to happen to you. What are some ideas? What do you go through? And just understand that the biggest lesson is you're not alone. Your friends understand, your clients understand. We'll get into that in just a sec.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. Presentations, what's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive. Dive right in.

Hey there, Mark Brown. So, yeah, just full transparency. I'm here in Cape Cod recording this live because my mom passed away over the weekend, so.

Oh, sorry. So sorry, Darren. So sorry about that.

Yeah, thank you. I thought about what do I need to do? I need to jump on a plane, support my dad, support my sister and support. So yesterday we spent the time cleaning out my mom's room. Few choke up moments, few tears, you know, especially being there with my dad and my sister and just. But I knew what I needed to do and I thank God that I'm in this profession which gives me that flexibility. If you have a, you know, a regular job, then, hey, there is bereavement. But what's cool about this job and this career is you get a little more flexibility. And because we travel a lot, you maybe got some miles you can use. But anyway, so if the audio isn't as good, I apologize right up front, but I told Mark I still wanted to do this podcast. We've been doing this for what, three years now?

Five. Since 2019. Five years.

Five years. And we haven't missed a week yet. So I have a responsibility now. I have a little gap between flying out here, getting things settled with my family and now the funeral is. And the wake is this weekend. So I have a few days to do a few things, plan on writing the eulogy with my sister and the onslaught of texts and people who care and, you know, that's one thing right up front, Mark, we got to, we have to let people help us, you know, when, when things happen, sometimes because we choose to be speakers, sometimes that's because we have a giving heart and we want give to other people. And I give to other people and help people, want to help, support people. But you know, when, when I offer to help people, if they're going through a tough time, I have to remind them, don't steal my joy to help you, you know?

Yeah, I can appreciate that. I remember at one point my wife planned an event for me and it was like, I, I, looking back, I didn't really appreciate and respect, you know, what she did to help me during a season of my life. And that was bad. But I really like what you say because life is going to happen to us. Being speakers does not make us exempt from life's challenges. When we do face life's challenges, we need to be aware that. Look, we, we, here's the thing. We invest time and effort to build a professional network. Right. For our businesses. But there are times we need to be honest and human. And you may have some really good friends who are pros in your network, but don't be unafraid or unwilling or ashamed to get support and help when you need it. And sometimes the best help you can, you can get will come from your professional network.

Yeah, I mean, I had just bigged. Just bigged. So by the way, those sounds of birds you hear in the background, that is not special effects. That is real.

Beautiful, beautiful.

I have a beautiful big speech that I just booked for Water park association in Las Vegas. And client is, it's very last minute, so we're three, four weeks away, and the client's like, hey, I need an intro and I need the description right away to put on our website. So I, you know, contact Jennifer, one of my speaker agents, and put her on it. But it's. And I told him, I'm like, look, I'm sorry for the delay. I had to jump on a plane and I just lost my mom. So just give me a little grace, forgive me, and understand. And, you know, people get it. They're understanding, you know, they're. The fact that I did respond to him was big to him, and he said, hey, don't worry, I get it. I've been through that myself. And you're gonna Have a lot of that, but don't be afraid to use that. The client gets it. Now, Mark, you and I know of speakers who. I have the time. I'm doing some things virtually. You and I are coaching some clients, clients in Australia later today. I can do that from here. Not the same as being in my office, but. But that's okay. The value is in helping them. So I was able to. Fortunate enough to be able to keep that commitment and not put it all on Mark. But what I love is my relationship with Mark. Since we've been going back so long, he's like, whatever you need, whatever you need. And we have a stage time call on Wednesday. And you know, I reached out to one of my members because Mike, who usually hosts, isn't able to. So one of our members is going to step up and they're like, don't worry, I got you. But this also goes back, Mark, to, you know, relationships, meaning that relationship you and I have. You know, I would do anything for you and you're offering that to me. Anything you can do. And I'm going to call you on that on a couple of things. But I need to, I need to, because I need to take care of our stage time members. We need to take care of our, our clients, and we need to take care of ourselves. You know, Mark, we're doing this podcast and my sister and brother in law are like, hey, we're going to go for a walk. And I'm like, you know what? I could use the exercise, man. Meaning I got a, I've been on a plane, I've been sitting with my dad and driving to and from Cape Cod. And so I'm like, you know what? I need that because I need to take care of myself. So, Mark, that might be another good point. You got to, you got to take care of yourself. Yeah, self care, you know, and just a quick email to clients, to students, to people who look up to you and they're our equals. They're, they, they get it, they understand. But we still need to be able to receive the help. And if I talk in circles and you're listening to this. Exactly my point. I'm asking for grace. You know, usually I'm adamant, I'm right on. And, and Mark's like, hey, we don't have to do this. We can skip a week. And I'm just like, no, it's real and I can breathe about it. I'm not missing on anything. I'm just in between things that I have to do here, you know, I went to the funeral home yesterday with my dad, and I knew I needed to be there with them. And even though I wasn't necessarily part of the planning, I was there. And I learned that my aunts and uncles and just, you know, my mom and dad, they were always there. I knew that was my job. Number one, Be there. So, Mark, other thoughts.

Well, I'm listening to you, Darren, and I guess the word is admiration. But you made a point just now that I don't want anyone to miss. And individuals are going to handle life in different ways. So please don't think this is a standard that everybody must adhere to. But I noticed that it almost seems as if being active while you can with your work is almost therapeutic in the midst of your grief. In this particular case, the loss of your mother, which is just devastating. I get that. And look, I want everyone to know Darren has my condolences. This is my brother. I love this man. We go back 25 years and as you said, I'll do anything for him. But I'm watching him and listening to him and realizing that he still wants to serve his clients well. And in a sense, I get the feeling that, that when we're going through a dark time and difficult time being able to at least engage to some degree with our clients, with our coworkers, with our associates, with our. With our, you know, those who we work with, that can be actually helpful to us to give us a bit of a relief from the pain, the stress, in this case, the grief you're feeling. And I don't want to speak for you, Darren, but it certainly appears to be that way. How close am I to accurate regarding your personal situation right now?

Yeah, it's. It's a form of therapy and it's. It's that volunteer principle, like when you're down and you're depressed, one thing that's recommended is go volunteer somewhere. Just give. And this is part of my giving because, you know, we don't get a million dollar check for each podcast that we put out there. That would be nice if anyone would like to.

We.

We greatly receive that. It's also. It feeds me to feed other people from the experience. Right. Almost get stung by a bee.

It's.

It's one of the things that keeps me going, you know, serving. And I don't want to sound altruistic because some of it is selfish. It. It distracts me and part. Part of the time. I need that. And I know I'm going to have my moments. I know when my dad Breaks down. I. I break down. And I know, you know, it hasn't fully hit me yet, and I think it will when I go to the wake and I didn't see my mom. I wasn't there when she passed. I was actually on stage, Mark, at nsa, and I got the text, you know, from my sister and looked at it on a break and, you know, yeah, but, you know, it also wasn't. Kind of knew it was coming because I had a text the day before, and I was traveling, driving from California to Vegas. The point is, how can you also use your tragedies to help other people? And so that's why I want to do this real, authentic. I'm, you know, I got bags under my eyes. This is, you know, this is not makeup. This is not real. Real bags. And just want to be outside and have that opportunity. What can you do from the road? It reminded me of an idea, too, that we usually, if you and I are bus travel schedules, we record a few extra podcasts. And we didn't because I was around this week. So lesson learned. We should always have one in the can just in case. But that's okay. So I'm glad that we don't, because it kind of forced us to do this one. But for future, you know, what's the lesson here? Who can you lean on? Oh, I've got so many messages from NSA members, from my mastermind. That's one thing about I love in our mastermind is, you know, I know I can reach out and transparently say anything to them. My. My men's small group, they have been awesome. Just knowing that, just. It's like knowing that somebody else knows what you're going through. And they're, you know, sending me messages. Call me if you need to cry. Call me like. And then that gives me strength, even though I know I can, and if I need to, I will. But right now, just knowing you have that support and for you and I, we get it. We understand, and that's why we wanted to do this. But your speaker friends, like, the super friends, they get it and it and will support you and know what they need to do to jump in. Now, Mark, I know of a few speakers that this has happened to. Something like this happens, and they, like, have the keynote speech the next day or in two days or they got Covid and they can't go. Well, we also know who could deliver for the client because the client can't cancel their convention or conference, but it's our responsibility to have that person we can Recommend you know, why you're brought in there, you know your topic. If, you know, I'm brought in for storytelling and talking about better stories, better business, I know I could call you or Chris McGuire or Michael Davis. I have those people, those resources that I could recommend. I just hope that they're not better than I am. Well, the thing is, I hired this guy. This guy's so much better. Mark. It's also kind of a standard practice if people don't know this, if you're in grief somehow or some tragedy happens. It's almost like. It's almost like an NSA National Speakers association rule that I know of. Speakers that jump in for other speakers and they don't want the money, you keep the money.

Yeah.

A friend or a brother. Now, that's obviously case by case, but I just think that's such a beautiful thought and a beautiful gesture. But that's why we have brothers and sisters who are in the speaking world that we know who's good, we know who can fill in that if we can't make it. Here's who I'd recommend. And most of them, most of them are thrilled to do it and thrilled. You called them. What an honor to be called.

Yeah. That's what we call in the nsa the spirit of Cabot. Cabot. Robert was the founder of the nsa, also a past Toastmasters, world champion of public Speaking back in 43, I think it was. But the spirit of Cabot is evident in professionals. And look, not everyone here in this podcast is a professional speaker, but the mindset, the attitude is, these are my, my, my peers, my brothers and sisters, my family. How can I serve them? At the same time, we would invite you. When someone you know who's a speaker is facing life, they should feel free or be confident enough that they can call on you and recommend you to their client because of the quality of your work. And that kind of speaks to our professionalism as presenters. When we do, when we serve well, we will get recommended at times, hopefully rarely, in a situation where you need to replace your ass, to replace someone who is going through life. Because life does happen. And it's funny, I was telling fitness class this morning, I told one of my classmates, my partner, Darius, going through this loss of his mom. And we have been making plans for me to go to Australia next week for these clients we're going to coach tonight. I'll be there with them when they present next week in Australia. And it's interesting because when we got the assignment, Darius made the decision he made the executive decision to send me to Australia, not himself. And I don't. I could not foresee the timing here. It would have been so difficult for Darren to go to Australia next week and serve the client in that way. And it just so happens in this particular instance, he assigned me to go to Australia and he can be home with his family during the season. That was not foreseen. It was not prophetic. But I know had I not been assigned to go and Darren said, mark, I can't go. My. My family needs me. I'd say, yes, Darren, I will go. And in the same way, if I knew I have an assignment I could not fulfill, I said, darren, I can't do this right now. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, if he could do it, he would not even think twice. That is the relationship we built together as two individuals, fellow speakers. But also these are the kinds of relationships we can build with our mastermind, with a cadre of individuals who we trust, those we go on retreats with. And we would invite you who are listening and watching this just to think about how well can I serve my peers, my fellow presenters, my fellow speakers, my fellow coaches, my fellow trainers, so that when they go through a season, when life happens to them, I can be a service to them. Whether you choose to receive the conversation or not, that's entirely up to you. But we ask you to lend your hearts each to the other, support each other, love on each other, because you never know when life can happen to you. And I'm pretty confident without knowing for sure. There are individuals who may be watching or hearing this right now who are thinking themselves. Yep, I can recall being in a similar spot before, and I'm so thankful for those who helped me. Or they may say, yeah, I had a chance to help somebody in the past and I'm so glad I did. We need to support, encourage and help each other, whether we're emerging speakers or experienced seasoned pros. How we serve each other when life hits us is a mark of our professionalism, our heart, how we care for each other. And here's what I believe. This is Mark's opinion. If we can have that attitude towards each other, we can almost be guaranteed our clients are going to get the best from us, no matter what the circumstances may be when we actually go on a platform, when you visit a location, go to a conference, they'll see us with the servant's heart that we really need to have to be effective when delivering our messages. So I invite everyone to think about this when Life happened to you, who came to your aid. And when life happens to your friends, your associates, how quickly can you be supportive of them during their time of need?

Are you the speaker that they would turn to? Like, if you're not, make that your goal, to become that speaker, to become unforgettable. Nobody wants to recommend somebody who's average, but it's a commitment. It's a commitment, right? It's a choice. And you got to work a little harder. You got to take a little more coaching. You got to get a little more feedback. But if you're listening to this, here's a question to make this truly engaging. If this happened to you, who would you call? Who in your circle would you call to fill in for you? Just take a few minutes to think of that. And I encourage you. Tell them you listen to this podcast, Call them and tell them, say, hey, you know what? If something happened in my life, you would be the person I would call to fill in for me. What a great compliment that would be. What a great conversation that would be. So think about it. Even if it's two or three people, hey, I would call you. You don't have to. Just call one.

And one more thought to pick to piggyback on that, Darren, little tongue tied today. Would other people call you? Think about that. Would other. Would your associates, your peers, your fellow speakers, would they call you when life happens to them? It's a bit of a challenging question, but I'm asking. I'm asking myself that question right now as well. Would other people call you? And I can recall. I can. As I think it through, I can recall instances where someone could not fulfill an assignment. And they did call me. They didn't recommend me. I did serve the client. And thankfully, the client then told my friend, my associate I'd serve them well. But, yeah, those are two key questions. Who would you call? And who would call you? Life happens.

I hope this has given you some insight, because if it hasn't happened to you, it will. Either a friend of yours going through this, speaker friend of yours, or you going through this. It's. It's gonna happen. It's life. And what's your backup plan? What is that? What's that plan if you can't do a speech? What's that? That's making me think, Mark.

Yeah, that's the idea. We can make people think we're doing our job well, right? Darren, my brother, you know I love you. I know it's a difficult season for you right now, and I'm So thankful that you chose to do this podcast with full transparency, complete honesty. I'm honored to be your brother. I love you dearly. I'm glad to be by your side. And I cannot believe it's been five years we've been doing this podcast and we haven't missed a week at a time where we could. And that shows your integrity, your. Your heart, your commitment. I'm glad to help you. Well, that's okay because I said earlier, sometimes being able to finding a way to complete the assignment can be for you, for us, therapeutic. It gives us something to do. We still feel we're serving and it gives us a moment in the midst of our grief for a bit of a reprieve. It may not be fully balanced. We may not be perfect. But I thank you for showing the world the significance and the value of still following through in the midst of your grief. Because when life happens, sometimes we need different ways to cope. And I really appreciate your brother. I love you dearly, man.

Thanks, man. We'll. We'll do the. The one where I cry next week.

All right, we'll see him next week then. All right.

All right, see you next week.

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