Ep. 278 CONFIDENCE?

Hey there, Mark Brown. Confidence, confidence, confidence.

Wasn't that you before your contest when you were, like, doing Rocky in your head? You were building your confidence and all that stuff. Yeah.

Yes. So confidence, so critical to being unforgettable.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation? AHAs. Let's dive right in.

Hey there, Mark Brown. We haven't talked about confidence in quite a while, and I think it's that thing that everybody wants, but it's like, how do you do it? Because some audiences are intimidating. Some of them, they're just kind of. They don't emote. And if you're like me, I love the audiences that emote, that just want to love on you. Well, not every audience does. You know, some of them are the analytical types and they might be loving you, but they don't show it. So it kind of pulls away our confidence while we're up on stage. And for me, and I know a lot of people, especially comedians, it's like once we get that first laugh, wow. Now we can take a breath and then we're good because we know we're connected. So confidence doesn't come just by accident. Confidence doesn't come just by accident. Hey, look, you might have this super duper audience. That's awesome. And they may love you and you could be half hearted, you could wing it, and they could still love you. They won't be there tomorrow at your next presentation.

That's true.

So there are audiences that will give you confidence that you'll feel comfortable in front of, and there'll be audiences that you won't. So what can we do to create that unstoppable confidence? How do we prepare for that? And I think that's kind of the answer is preparing. But how do we do that? And we've talked about this a little before. When I do my research, when I get to know the audience and I get to know what are their challenges. So now I've started, Mark, on my last keynote here at the Paris for All In, I started asking clients what their challenges were. And before I went into my content, I literally put up slides. You know, they're confident or their challenge is so these are people who run water parks that their employees are younger generation, you know, so that's a challenge. But weather is a challenge. You can't control the weather. That's a challenge. So literally, by putting them up there, they know that I know, they know that I know. And that came from doing my research and asking. When we know our content, that's a beautiful thing. When we know it helps people. And look, if you're working on new content, a way to get confidence, new content is to try it out in a low risk environment, like Toastmasters, like nsa, like, like, like, like, like a place where you're not getting paid. And you don't just start off with that. You interweave it between what you know you already have confidence in so you can create that connection and then you test a new bit of material. And I've talked about this before, but it's worth sharing again. When I was working on my championship speech and I did it at a Toastmasters club at MIT where, yes, the Massachusetts Institute for Technology had a club and this foreign exchange student, and I was just practicing, but a foreign exchange student came up to me after and said, I'm failing out of mit. My family says I should quit and go home. I heard your speech. I stay. Whoa. Then my confidence in that story, in that speech, like it was like the grinch, it grew 10 times. So sometimes we can get that from our audience, from a low risk environment, or even if you really believe this will help and this is a good story for this audience, it needs to be told, but in their reaction. That's why, you know, when we do our workshops, we always ask for, what are your keepers? Well, what are keepers?

Ahas.

Well, what are ahas? Things that work. So if we keep hearing the same ones, we're going to have confidence that those ideas, those techniques work. Why? Because the audience told us they did.

And you know, Darren, you mentioned about knowing your material. I have found people ask me, mark, you've been doing this 30 years. Do you ever get nervous? And I say, I might feel nervous if I'm not prepared. And confidence comes when I know my material. You mentioned that earlier, but I want to go one step further. Those of us, those of you who know us have heard this before, but it bears repeating today. Confidence comes when you not only know your material, you. You have internalized your material. That means it's not words in your head or concepts. You know, you are almost living this. It's part of, it's inside you. You don't think Two, two or three times about, you know. Okay, did I forget that part? Must memorize this. No, it is already inside you. And when you internalize, here's a piece of it. We have not talked about much, Darren, but when we internalize our material and you say we embody it, we feel it, it's part of our essence, our being almost. I can't help but share what I have inside me. We don't have that level of confidence. We cannot have that level of confidence just cerebrally acknowledged in my head. When you're in your head, your emotions are dead. But when you embody, when you embrace, when you live the message you have and eagerly share that to serve your audience, that total internal internalization will give you confidence even when the environment is not so welcoming. And we're going to be honest here, Darren said it earlier, sometimes environment is not so welcoming. Sometimes the environment can be hostile because something happened at the organization, with the association, within the company itself and people are on edge. You were coming in to inspire them and they found out they're going to have major budget cuts and they're going to lose 17% of the workforce and people are not really focused on what you have to say. Knowing you're walking into that environment. How can you still confidently speak, share, inspire and lift an audience if you do not have your message inside you? That environment can be very, or should I say extremely intimidating. Which is why I say again, you need to internalize, embody, embrace and then share the message from your very being. You bring your whole self to a presentation with that level of internalization and confidence. It's going to show real quick. Darren. I had to do a two or three Trucking association keynotes in the last 10 years and one of them I walked in. You talk about the audience with the arms to be crossed. I walked in and it was a tough audience. I got a wonderful review and recommendation from the CEO of the company and he said, we got some old truck drivers here who are pretty hard and tough and it may seem that they're not reaching, you're not reaching them, but you were able to reach them. And trust me, you touched them, you were effective, you did a wonderful job. And I had to feel confident looking at this audience of people who were like stone faced. If I did not feel confident within myself, I would have felt intimidated. Full disclosure. I went to Europe last year to do a one day program by myself for the first time and I was like, oh man, I'm going to cover these three topics for the whole day. And these are all CEOs. And there's a point. There was a moment. There was a moment, Darren. I didn't feel that confident I was going to write on the whiteboard. I just erased it. And you know what? I'm trying to be too clinical here. Let me talk to them about what I know they need. Had I not internalized that material and felt. And by the way, I'm going to deviate for a second in a moment. But had I not internalized my material and knew what I was going to do cold, I would not have been confident to make that adjustment in the moment. And the second point I want to make about that situation is this. When we are, our confidence in who we are, what we have to offer and how we read the audience will give us the ability to. To make the adjustment on the fly confidently if we know our material. Confidence also comes, Darren, I might add, by being able to read the room well, if we find ourselves in a very safe environment every single time we speak and don't practice reading the room, seeing their responses. Because there have been times I was even in a school, Darren, middle school, high school audience of almost 800 kids. And I could tell that where I was going was not where I needed to go for that audience at that time. And I made an adjustment confidently because I knew I had the material, I had read the room and I understood what the need was. It was not properly communicated to me at the time. This was years ago. I was fairly young in the business and I learned from this. When once I had the confidence in my material and I knew what I had, what they needed, I felt no fear or worry about serving the audience well. So I'm going to come back to my first statement on this. When we internalize our material and know it so well, we see it as our gift to the audience. That gives you confidence in different situations, even difficult ones. Because your message is not coming from your head, it's coming from your heart and coming from your very being.

Yeah. One of the biggest confidence killers, ego. When we think it's us and we're the important part. Guess what? You just lost some confidence. And I think the audience is gonna sense that. So you wanna build your confidence. Intention, serving the audience combined with preparation, researching the audience, constantly upping your material. Mark, I feel bad for people who teach like Ford AI these days they can't go a day without researching because that's their content. Because it's changing so quickly, that's even more challenging. But for you and me, we need to always be okay. What's another story about our subject? Like, mark your keynote on excellence. Mine on All In. So we've got to constantly be looking and searching for better stories. Why a better story? And we'll know it. We'll know it when we hear it. Like, ooh, that has to be in there. Like my new story about Sammy Davis Jr. And all in and Frank Sinatra. I'm excited. That's going to give me confidence. I already know how I'm going to deliver it. So be careful because ego can kill your confidence. Which is why the four questions I ask myself right before I go on stage, what is my intent? Okay. My intent should be to serve the audience, not I'm the best speaker or they love me more than the other conference speakers. Am I present? Am I right here, right now, forgetting about your problems? Will I have fun? And how would I deliver this presentation if I knew it was my last one ever? I hate to say this, but someday it will be my last presentation.

Yeah.

You know, you could get in an accident on your way home. You could lose your voice. Like, who knows? You could anyway. Devastation could happen. We don't know. Do you want that last memory? Kind of like I think of high school football, American football, Not mark football. I know. Like that last game, you know, that last game your senior year. If you're not going to go play football in college, that last game you play All In. Well, when you play all in, you have confidence because your ego's not in the way. One more secret weapon of mine. Reach out. Connect with him on LinkedIn. Chris McGuire. Chris McGuire. MCG U I R E Chris McGuire. He's a guy that I hire to help me connect with the audience, which gives me confidence. He does client research in a much deeper way than I do now. I call people, I do my time. Don't get me wrong. But he comes at it from such a different angle, and I can't have his brain. He's been writing late night comedy jokes for 30 years. He plays at the highest level. I could work as hard as I wanted, but I'm never going to duplicate that. 30 years of experience writing one liners for late night comedy. I want that on my team. So if I have a little less confidence, I just booked a speech with H vac people, which are not my people. They will be. They will be. I'll put my time in. I'll hire Chris to come in. So look, even if you're not ready to hire him, connect with Chris McGuire on LinkedIn watch what he's doing. He gives, tips he's got anyway, connect with him. He's one of my confidence boosters because of his brain and how he thinks.

Mark, you mentioned Chris being a confidence booster. Friends, I invite you to think who, who do you have in your circle of friends or family? I have a wife of 42 plus years at the time of this recording. I know she's a confidence booster for me. We have traveled internationally for keynotes and I always say this. When she is there, I am better. When she is there, I am better. You can't knock 42 plus years of marriage towards a wonderful individual who you know, God placed in your life just for you. I don't know who that person might be for you. Maybe you aren't married or connected, but there are individuals in your life who will be there to support, encourage and give you confidence, who will be honest with you when they know you're off your game, and who will hold you to a higher standard. It could be in your mastermind, it could be somebody you connect with, an accountability partner. But you can gain confidence by having that relationship and knowing that that relationship will be better for you, you and for them. And I don't often talk about this, but there's a certain level of confidence you can get by being in meaningful, supportive, uplifting relationships. And for me, there's nobody like Andrea Brown. Wow.

How do you top that, Mark? That's got to be the closer right there. So look, you probably heard the quote by Jim Rohn. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Take inventory on your top five. Now, when I met Brian Tracy, I was, I was just like my hero. I met him, however, he was already in my top five. Why? Because I listened to him constantly in my car. So even though I didn't have a relationship with him, he was in my top five. He was influencing more than most people in my life because I constantly listened while I was driving. So, hey, look, if you like our podcast, why not make that regular? If you want feedback from us, why not join Stage Time? That's a place where you can get coaching from us. Put us in your top five. If your goal is to build your confidence and be unforgettable, definitely.

And look, maybe you're hearing this today and going, you know, well, I'm pretty cool where I am right now. Here's my one thought for you. I begin with myself. It will never hurt us to continue to find ways to build or build our confidence with the caution we're not saying build your cockiness, okay? We're saying build your confidence. And one of the ways, Darren, my last thought is, one of the ways that my confidence gets lifted is knowing that my audience, my clients and meeting planners have confidence in me. That'll only come. That will only come, Darren, if I serve them well. And I can only serve them well if I invest the time to build those relationships, connect with clients, invest the time to be better at what I do, and invest the time to connect with the people I trust who can help me be better at my craft.

Make it your goal to constantly build your confidence. And look, if you're having a bad day, if your confidence gets taken away, congratulations, you're human.

Amen.

Us too. But then just rebuild it. Rebuild it. Start a testimonial file. When you get emails from people, when you get video, video testimonials from people, collect them. It's great for marketing. Marketing. It's also great for confidence boosting. When you need it, you go back and you listen to people telling you how much you help them, how much you impact them. That's gonna build your confidence. So just know that that's go to thing. And one more idea. Chance Langton, who's a friend of mine, who's a comedian, who in my early days I used to drive to shows. When I was opening for him, he wasn't able to drive, so I would pick him up and drive him and he would always listen to his best routine on the way to his gig. He would listen to his best routine. Why? Because it's gonna, like, remind you of the pattern, the flow, the enunciation, the rhythm of your presentation.

Why?

To get your brain on that rhythm. Don't listen to a bad presentation. We can learn from them. But before or on your way to, there is not the time to learn. It's the time to build your confidence. So, look, confidence is never ending. Confidence is something we always want to do if we want to be unforgettable. And if you don't have it, build it. Join us, listen to this podcast, listen to other podcasts and join us in stage time. Even better yet, join us for an upcoming workshop. Stagetimeworkshops.com or stagetime.com thanks for listening. Please pass this on to someone else who needs to be build their confidence.

See you next week.

Make sure you subscribe to our show.

Remember to subscribe because if you miss a week, you miss a lot.

If you like this episode, please leave us a review. If you want to get more from Mark and Darren check out stagetime University where they provide experienced presenters a proven path and world class feedback. To become the speaker everyone is talking about, go to stagetimeuniversity.com join us next week if you're going to take the time to prepare a presentation. Make it unforgettable.