Ep. 279 DELIVERING YOUR SENSITIVE STORY WITH SMOKE WALLIN

Hey there, Mark Brown. When it comes to sensitive stories, I know a lot of presenters are a little leery and they don't necessarily trust themselves or they don't see the value in it. This gentleman, oh, my goodness. A CEO that we worked with. And the stories don't get more sensitive than this.

Indeed, that's true. And today we'll talk with our guest about how can you deliver a story that's so sensitive, especially when people who know you don't know about it. In a moment, you'll get to meet a friend of ours, Smoke Walid.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcast with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time.

Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, AHAs. Let's dive right in.

Darren, I'm really thrilled today because I mentioned a friend of ours, and we don't have time to go through Smoke's full cv, but I'll tell you, this friend Smoke is a serial entrepreneur and CEO. He's been on Fast Money, Fox News, msn, NBC. He's a super dude. We get to call him friend. And now he invests his time helping other CEOs to exit their companies. Let's welcome our friend, Smoke Wallen from Sedona, California. Hey, Smoke. How you doing?

I'm great, thanks. Thanks for having me, man.

I almost envy you because it's getting colder here in Georgia, of all places. And here you are in California. You got the mountains here, wine country. It must be a pretty good deal, huh?

Yeah. Only correction is I'm in Sedona, Arizona.

Arizona, sorry.

Yeah, we're going California.

Yeah, it's all west to you guys in Georgia.

Well, not only that, when you're a Jamaican living in Georgia, you might mess up some US geography. The good news is, no matter what geography talking about, you are here with us today. And we can't wait to dive in because we met you many months ago when you were giving a presentation for YPO and you were delivering a sensitive story. And it's never easy to tell a story that's really meaningful and close to your heart. But a couple of factors impressed me. If you don't mind, we'll talk about one particular aspect of your story and what can it go from there? And it's this we found out, Darren and I, when we worked with you, there are individuals who had known you for years, who had worked closely with you, but had no idea of the power of your story. And together, we want to kind of explore how you navigate that, how you able to deliver it, what your thought process was. So I have many, many questions, but I need to give some to my partner, Darren Lacroix. Darren?

Well, I think the first question is, why did you want to tell this story?

That's actually pretty simple. You know, I went through a. A lot of childhood trauma that I had blocked out of my memory. I had gone through a process where I uncovered those memories, kind of processed them, and had kind of come to terms with it. And I realized that I felt called to, obligated to share because I felt like I might be able to help others who have maybe had a similar situation. And the only way for me to potentially help them would be to share my story to, you know, and as you guys know, I mean, not a story that, you know, anyone would necessarily want us. Want to tell to a bunch of their friends or anybody for that matter. Yeah.

Well, you had the transparency to go deep. So thrilled to have you here, because I'm curious about a lot of the backstory that we don't know about. And I love the fact that you really saw that you were almost obligated to tell this story, to help others. And before we get into the story itself, what were some of the comments you've gotten since then? And you spoke in both Istanbul and Miami to your counterparts, other CEOs. What kind of feedback had you gotten?

Oh, yeah. I mean, the feedback was overwhelming. I mean, honestly, I wanted to do it so I could potentially help some people. I didn't expect the kind of response I got. And I talked about it. Quite a sensitive topic, as you guys know. Childhood pedophilia in family kind of situation. That was very, very personal. And what I was shocked was the number of people that came up to me. And these are CEOs, all CEOs, right? It's like 20. Between the two events, it was almost 2,500 CEOs who are very successful people, like, saying that happened to me, or I had an experience with it, and I had that happening. After the talk, I had a line that lasted a couple hours in the reception in Istanbul, people kind of going through. And a lot of those guys, as you guys know, remember, there was a lot of Asian, and it was a very global meeting who, culturally, one would expect to be even more Sensitive and less willing to share things just. Just based on my experience with lots of those international cultures. And I had them sharing stuff like raw. Like raw reaction, which again, I didn't do it for the reaction. But what was amazing was by being very direct and honest in my talk, and everyone could tell it wasn't like a performative act. It was like, here's something I'm going to share. It just evokes a response that comes from a higher or a deeper plane than just a superficial, like, oh, that was a cool talk and nice to meet you, but this was a lot more deep.

Wow.

It's like your transparency gave them permission that they could go there. Wow, Mark.

Yeah.

And I really appreciate that because you had to come to a point in your life where you said, I need to share that now, knowing you had several of your peers in the room who had known you for years, worked closely with you, but had no idea about this. Was there a point in your mind? And I asked this for others who are hearing or watching, who are going through this. Was there a point in your mind where you said, you know, this may be really uncomfortable. I'm not sure how they're going to respond to it, but I need to share that with them. What was the catalytic moment, the inciting incident or thought or conversation that said, let you say, you know what, I'm going to apply for this. I want to tell this story.

What was that again? I think it goes back to just that feeling, like when I processed the trauma and I went through the understanding of what happen, and then I came to terms with it, and then I got to a point of like, truly forgiving everyone involved, including myself. The relief or the. The freedom that it gave me and the just pure elation in terms of happiness I got to. By clearing those shadows was something I felt like I had to share. So the thing about trauma, whatever it is, it doesn't matter what it is. It could be anything from as an infant, you got left in your crib and you were. They let you cry. And that turned into trauma for you. Like, literally that can turn into, like a major trauma as an infant, to all kinds of other, you know, things that just depending on how you process it at the time, that stuff gets stuck in us, in our. In our bodies, in our energy bodies. And if we don't find a way to surface it and put conscious light on it and clear it, it's always going to be there in our subconscious, and it's always going to be manifesting and causing Challenges until you resolve it. And so for me, as when I got clear and I resolved my issues again, I was like, okay, I got to share this because I feel great. I'm super happy, I'm elated, I'm in this wonderful state. And I was like, I owe it to others who may be suffering in some way to at least share, share how it worked for me. And, and if that's helpful to some, great. That was my, my original thinking, follow up question.

And I ask for those who are watching or listening who may be thinking, okay, I could do that, but they share their life with a partner or a spouse and they're not sure how their spouse or partner may respond. What was your experience with Venetra when you told her, I need to share this, your partner and your family?

She's very supportive, but I think she was more concerned with, by going into a difficult topic that people are not usually speaking about in public. Her concern was it might cause trauma for people who have had trauma. You know, like if people someone has experienced, say, you know, a rape or something, and that becomes a topic of a speech that could re trigger those memories for that person. So her concern was really about like, hey, you can't just, you can't just dive into this nonchalantly. You know, I know it's your story and you're telling it, but you can't just do it without at least giving people a little bit of a warning, a little bit of a heads up. And I think I did that in my talk. You know, I kind of said, you know, I'm going to cover some difficult stuff here. I think I did. I can't remember now, but that was my intent, was not to shock anybody. It was never like a shock factor or that kind of thing. It was just being honest about things. And as you guys know, because we worked together on the final format of what I delivered, I really didn't get into any serious detail. I just shared that trauma happened and I gave an indication of the lane it's in. But that was shocking enough, I think, for people. It's not like I had to go into some kind of graphic detail. It wasn't what I did. Right.

Don't shock the audience. That's it seems, it seems so simple. But to craft a speech carefully to give enough to get the picture but not too much to gross them out, that was actually, that required a skill. And for those who are listening right now, yes, you may be eager to tell your story, but you need to be sensitive. How will the Audience respond. How might the audience respond? So, Darren, I know you got some questions, but I can't let this go with that advice from your most precious beloved one to you. Did it make you second think the idea, or did it inspire you to be more careful in how you wrote the speech?

Yeah, I think it was the latter. I mean, I. I was very clear inside and align with, okay, I'm telling my story, and I can tell. It's my story to tell. You know, honestly, like, there are family members who reacted very badly to me telling the story publicly because of embarrassment. Right. So, you know, I got a lot of. A lot of blowback from certain family members who were appalled that I would air dirty laundry in the family in some way. You know, honestly, I'm like, that was. I didn't think. I didn't expect that that would be their reaction, but so be it. You know, I'm on my path, and my objective was to help as many people as I could. And covering up dirty laundry from long ago, it was not on my agenda.

Yeah, well, it's also part of your message because you. You had intentional or subconsciously suppressed. Suppressed what had happened to. For coping mechanism. So I love that you were. You know, there's a big difference between triggering and then healing was really your intention. And I think.

I think you said it right, Mark, when you. It wasn't about, like, shocking people, but I do think having an element of surprise and raw honesty that is like a little bit of a. Whoa. Like, did I just hear that? Like, I think that's. That makes for a compelling presentation. It makes. Because, look, at the end of the day, you guys know better than anybody. I mean, we're evoking emotion in each other, and we're talking it to each other's higher self in some ways, beyond the verbal, the words of the speech, or, like, it's a complete message of delivery. And in so doing, we're evoking kind of a deeper reaction for people. And I think so a little bit of surprise. I think in the mix with raw, real emotion, people feel that. They know it. They know you can tell if someone is being genuine and raw and honest about something. And I think that's what differentiates, you know, something that is extraordinary from, you know, the average, you know, presentation we hear in a normal business setting.

I'm thinking smoke of people we know and who we don't who are hearing this, and they're saying, man, this guy knows my experience. But I can't shake the idea if I go public with this, I may hurt so many people and I'm not sure. I don't know. I want to. In my gut, I feel I should. And they're having all these different thoughts. Did you struggle with any of that? And if so, how would you advise them?

Yeah, I mean, especially early on I was like, you know, do I really want to? Like, it's one thing processing something and understanding it and kind of in a very small circle, it's another thing being, being very public about it. And again, it comes back to me. It was about what would be what I was called to share because I wanted to help other people. And so me getting to this forgiving state was pure freedom. I mean, it was the key to unlocking the container I was operating in. And by unlocking it changed my life. So how do I not share that? I guess if you're on the fence and you're thinking about it, I guess on balance it's like, what's for the greater good? Like, what's going to help the most people the most? And is there something I can do in what I deliver in this situation that would help a lot of people? And to me that's not a hard trade off. It's like, okay, yeah, there's always going to be like naysayers. There's always going to be people that don't like what you say. But if you're genuine and honest with yourself and you're aligned and you're doing it for the right intentions and you stay true to that, so be it. You know, detractors welcome. You're welcome. You know, come on in, the water's fine.

So let's cover a little bit of the process. So now you've got, you're going to do it. You decide that you're going to be working with us on the story and you have the big block of clay. And so you are forever the person who named Mark Brown. Machete Mark. So we want to give kudos.

Derek, you might want to explain that to our new listeners. You might want to explain that to them.

All right, well, I'll explain it.

Go for it.

Go ahead, smoke. Please do.

I was trying. So there was a lot of pieces to my story and there was more to it than one could give in a 10 minute TED talk like venue. Right. And so I came to the table with a longer talk than we had time for. And so it was hard for me to figure out what not to say. And so I had a bigger list of things. And of course, when Mark got a Hold of it. He just took his machete out and just chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. So I did name. You did with no license fee whatsoever. You were dubbed forever Machete Mark. But look, it was a good process because it helped me refine and define my message to a point where it could be compelling and deliverable in a limited time frame. I could give five more speeches about different other aspects of my experience, but you can't do that all in one. So it was really about prioritizing and getting down to a simple message.

I appreciate that. And yes, Smoke spoken like a true businessman about licensing fees. I appreciate that. The funny thing is now other presenters have been told what you. What you've called me, and it's now falls upon me to be the editor, which I enjoy being, you know, as a word nerd myself. But I was actually quite impressed because you were willing, knowing you had so much content, you were willing to let some parts go, even parts you liked go in order to serve the greater good. What is the key message of this presentation? I would like for you to speak to the listeners who are saying, but I don't want to leave that out. I don't want to cut that out. Could you inspire them with one significant reason why we're so able to receive the editing and the wiggling of the machete so willingly?

I think it's probably a natural process. I mean, you guys do it all the time, but it's probably a natural process that you have more material to cover than you have time. So it's probably pretty normal to try to fit it into size. I think it's the realization that a audience member cannot absorb multiple complex messages in one sitting. And so it's like, okay, yeah, those are all great points. And if you had an hour lecture and that was the format, then maybe you could cover all those things. But if you are trying to deliver something in a TED like format talk, you have to really decide and prioritize that which you want to convey. And more is not more. Less is more in terms of impact, because it's better to stay on one message or a very simple message and say that message in a couple of different ways than to have five messages that are kind of all over the board and hard to follow. Right. It's better to kind of reinforce a theme and really dig deep so that it is conveyed fully to the audience. And I think that's what we achieved.

There is one aspect of what we did, and I didn't go through the whole process of you having to Apply and being selected. But at the tail end of all of this, at the end of your presentation and your partners as well, who spoke at both conferences, you left the audience with one simple sentence that was at the heart of your message. Was it difficult in the process of trying to define this difficult, sensitive story and deliver it in a way that was meaningful? Was it difficult to arrive at that foundational phrase that was the essence and the core of your story?

It kind of came about naturally, but it didn't start out, you know, I think it changed as we went along, but it popped out as the most obvious thing as we. As we got closer. Right. I think, you know, in mine was in forgiving, we are forgiven. Right. And that was. You guys, remember? But, like, my purpose of sharing part of my story was not the story. It's to say we're not. You're not the story. Whatever happened to you, whatever trauma, whatever thing happened to you was never about that. It was about how do you overcome it? And you overcome it by forgiving yourself and everyone else. And if you can forgive fully, like, absolutely, really forgive, you are forgiven and you're free. It's the freedom card. And so it took us a little bit, but it kind of came out naturally. Right, like in our. In our process with you guys after much machete ing. Yeah, yeah.

The wheeling of the machete. Yeah. So how would you advise others who have a very sensitive story to tell in terms of the value of a foundational phrase? Smoke?

I think it's really valuable. I think, again, it helps deliver the message in a very concise way that means a lot to that audience. So, like, again, like, what. What is the reason we're doing these talks? What. Why are you speaking? Right. Like, that's. First of all, ask yourself that if you have a purpose, which is, I want to convey something. I want to. I want to help people. I want to, you know, whatever your objective is, then if your objective is that you want someone to, like, actually have an emotional response and that you want them to remember what you said, then you've got to come up with a. With a very simple message that is memorable. And I think that catchphrase achieves that quite well.

Sweet, sweet, sweet. And I have to go back, and Darren is just. He's just processing. Right. I can see him just going in his head. And, Darren, you may want to share just the opening clip if you wish.

But.

But one more question again, since we're talking about sensitive stories, and I'm trying to just keep myself calm as I Ask this question, Smoke, knowing that a sensitive story of that nature would need a phrase that would be the anchor and hold it up. Did you, Even though the phrase came through organically, so to speak, do you believe that having a foundational phrase will help the audience to cope with the level of emotion that's involved, or did you not connect the two at all? The idea of the phrase helping the audience handle the emotion. So kind of an odd question. I know, but you're smart.

Yeah. I think the way I translate what you're asking, you know, the way I'll put it in my words, which is my purpose was to help people. And again, the point was not the trauma. It was the how did I overcome it? How did I get through it? My catchphrase was about the purpose, which was in forgiving, we were forgiven. And that. That achieved that. So it wasn't ever about, like, oh, this trauma. And I, you know, shared deeply. It was always about, okay, that was just to say, like, it was really big and really difficult. But here's how I processed it and got to freedom on the other side. And that's what I was trying to convey is, like, anyone can do that.

Well, what I admire there, Smoke, is the idea of, yes, you don't want to focus on the trauma itself, but you want to focus on the end of the journey, what was the result of it. And I think that's a very key point that you make there, because when we have a truly sensitive story, the temptation is to magnify the story. Look what I went through. But your advice is, that's not the story, it's what comes out of it. And your simple phrase in forgiving, we are forgiven. Five simple words powerfully conveyed that in a meaningful way. So, friends, listening, watching, yes, you may have endured a traumatic experience, but think less about elevating the experience. But elevate the antidote, elevate the response. And Darren, I think if you clip of the very ending where we saw Smoke on stage with his foundational phrase there and the response he and his fellow speakers received that day when they got it in forgiving, we are forgiven. There he is.

If you're listening online to the podcast, you don't see the visual, but you can check out his speech online on YouTube. If you type in Smoke Wallen W A L L I N LAB L A B ypo Istanbul. And you should be able to find it quite simply. But here's just the opening.

Einstein said there are only two ways to live your life. One is, if nothing's a miracle. The other as if everything's a miracle. Had you said that to me two years ago, I would have been like, that's nice, let's go grab a tequila at the bar. This is my 21st year in YPO. I've led a high profile entrepreneurial career. And today I help other entrepreneurs maximize their exits globally and turn success into significance. I have a loving family. Thank you, Anitra, for the beautiful introduction and song. How about the song and of our life together and four adult children. All good humans. If you met me, then you would have met a happy guy for sure. But just beneath the surface, I was actually suffering from anxiety, but ignoring the symptoms going into the pandemic. I had a business collapse. I was drinking for sport. I won a lot. I see some of you out there. My health was declining. I had gained a bunch of weight. I had gout, pre diabetes, insomnia, you name it, all the normal things. And although I had co founded Dignity moves with other YPOers to help the homeless. If I'm honest, if I ran into a homeless person, I would cross the street to avoid them. I was avoiding difficult emotional situations wherever possible.

That's good. I tell you why I thought that's good. Smoke, you said earlier you could not just come out and hit them with a trauma. It'll freak them out. But you set that up so well and I apologize. I called Anitra Venetra earlier. There's Noveen, her name, my mistake. But you set the stage with where you are now, your family, your life, what you're doing, also what you've been through a little bit. So we know what the world sees. And then you began to give us a glimpse of what's behind the scenes. And you gently brought us through a business collapse, medical symptoms, things were going wrong until you unearth the real reason behind it. So your technique there was not to shock him. So please, friends, if your story is really sensitive, you don't want to shock the audience right away. But Smoke was able to bring us to a place where we were able to receive what he had to say in a meaningful way. And that technique is one I would encourage everyone to consider, particularly if your story is really sensitive. And Smoke, how did your family receive that in rehearsal when they saw the way your direction did they see that it was a slow climb, not just a leap off the cliff kind of thing or in the way you structured it?

Yeah, I think so. I think that it worked well. You know, it was like, all right, there's some look, we all have a public face and what's really happening. Everybody in the world, right? All of us, we all have something. And many times that public face is. Everyone thinks these things, but if you actually really knew the person, you would know there's all these other things that are going on behind the scenes. And we all do this, right? Like, everyone we see, we see them on TV or we see, you know, people just in our world, you know, we have assumptions about, oh, their life is so great, they're perfect, they have all these things. But beneath the surface, we're all humans and everybody has challenges and all these things. So what I think we achieved in this, the cadence of it was, yeah, acknowledging, like, hey, I've had a high profile career. I've been on, been on, been a lot of press and had a lot of ventures and all kinds of public Persona that people would know. And yet, just beneath the surface, there were some issues, but I didn't realize the bigger issues until I went deep into my shadows. And so that was the lead up to it. And I think it worked. It worked well. And, you know, it's a good, good cadence generally.

And in your feedback that you got from people, which I'm thrilled to hear that that many people came to you, meaning you made an impact or they wouldn't have lined up to talk to you. Did any of them mention any moment in your speech that connected with them? And this is just my own curiosity.

Not really. And honestly, I think I have 100 testimonials from people that a lot of people wrote me notes and private notes and stuff. I actually put a few of them on my website just anonymously. But there was a lot of personal notes that came to me about it. And I think it was. People received the emotional and the energy of the message in a really, really positive way. And more so than they could say, well, I remember like this one piece or that one piece. It was more like the whole package was delivered and received that way.

I know it was a combination of you and Mark way more than me in creating some of those moments, but I remember the moment when you were standing in front of the statue and like that moment, and we gave you the idea of, you know, what did. You could smell the incense and then the one that. This is, again, a sensitive topic, but we're saying this because we're trying to help people to deliver their stories. I remember. I'll forever remember the wording. So you sat at the end of the piano bench with the right guard. You could smell Your the right guard and you were. And heard the screams and you were just waiting your turn. That is all Smoke said. But that was so like, we got it in just a few sentences.

And that goes back. Smoke to the. To your being sensitive to your audience as well. Any comment on that?

Yeah, I mean, like, again, it wasn't about being overly explicit or graphic, but it was about capturing the memory of the moment and the different senses, the sounds, the smells, the feelings. And by conveying that, I think it brought people to a visceral understanding of what I was talking about in a very small number of words.

Yeah. And what I love is you brought us to a moment when nothing was, you know, the anticipation was happening. So it's not like you brought us to a. The moment, if you will, or like the experience. It was prior to the experience, but that's all we needed between you and Mark. I was like, whoa, that's powerful and perfect, yet not too much.

And one of the keys there is, as Darren said, is not too much. So as you're listening to this, you're considering, well, gee, my story is really heavy and I don't want to, but I don't want to pull back too far. That's where having the advice and wisdom of someone who understands the story process can be really helpful. I don't know how much Smoke you. You shared that story with anybody in the. In the past, but to have it for the first time sharing this to a large audience of all very successful CEOs and define the right measure, to not overdo it or undersell it, but to hit that sweet spot is no small task. And we count ourselves privileged to have walked this journey with you to help you to craft it in that way. And we had no idea until you spoke to us. Now, of the over 100 people who had spoken to you, who would line up to speak with you, who have shared testimonials of impact, and that's what it is. You said you wanted to share your story to help others, but you admit you had no idea you had so many others you were helping. I mean, when you first say, I want to help others, did you have in your mind Maybe there are five or 10 people in the audience who might relate. Was that even a thought in your mind? Or you just said, I'm going to go for it?

No, I just figured it would help whoever it was meant to help. And it wasn't really about a number, but I feel like. And there's probably 10 times the number that actually told me that it mattered to them, that it impacted them, that probably felt an impact. Right. But they're not necessarily going to talk to me. Right. So, like, you know, I think it was a big. It was a lot bigger impact than I expected. And. But it was aligned with what I was hoping to achieve, which is, you know, if I could help some people, then great, you know, and I think that's what. What we did.

And please share what what Smoke says, it isn't about the number of people you impact. It's the fact that you do have impact by sharing your story. So even though I ask a numbers question, please don't think the numbers are significant. What the point of that question was the realization that you and I have no idea how many people don't come to us, but that should not deter us from sharing our sensitive story.

I've come to understand, and I can't remember where I read it exactly, but when you give a gift, whatever it is, your talent, your energy, your whatever your. Your thing is, whatever your. Your specific lane is, it's only a true gift if you give it freely and don't need or expect any response. And I think I, obviously, it was wonderful to get a response and all the speakers, we all got great ovations and it was really warm and felt great. So don't get me wrong, that felt really nice, but that wasn't why I did it. And I just wanted to give it. And if it helps the people, great. And, you know, that was the intent.

And what was the coaching process like working with Mark and me on your sensitive story? Did you ever, like, swear at us under your breath or Machete Mark? Oh, Machete Mark.

But you guys bicker with each other more than I bicker with you. You guys are like the odd couple, you know, you're like, you practically could have a TV show around you, too.

You want to sponsor us, Smoke?

No. I mean, look, it was a great process, and obviously you guys bring different perspectives, and that was helpful. I think it was really useful to have two experts bringing different lenses. You guys look at the world differently, and you both bring your lens to the table where it's just like, okay, in different lanes of what you really feel strongly about. And at the end of the day, you guys said this to all of us, and I took it to heart, which is, I am the CEO of my speech. You guys aren't. So this was my talk, it's my message, so I own it. But I've run a lot of businesses, I've led a lot of people and where I've been most successful, it's when I listened to a great team and we win together. That's what happened with us. Like, you guys gave me lots of great input. I didn't follow all of it, but I think we came out with a great end product because I did listen to you guys. And we, between us, we came out with what I think was a really unique and special delivery and message.

We appreciate that because we always say, listen, we are consultants and we do want to help every person we work with. We want to help them bring their best to the platform. And I always tell my clients, if you disagree with an idea, it's okay. You won't hurt my feelings. I offer it as a suggestion, but you embrace what you believe works best for you. And in this particular case, 100% worked for you. Smoker. We're so proud of the work you did and honored to have served you in this way. To deliver such a sensitive story to so high profile an audience and get the response that you did.

Yeah, you'd hurt my feelings, not Mark's.

Just kidding.

So in the coaching process, one of the things that we started doing because we were working with you was creating a stage plan. The idea of each part of your story went to a different place. How did that impact your delivery or your confidence?

Mine was a little bit more complicated than a lot of people's. I think when I saw some of the other charts, I was like, we had too many boxes on mine. But I think it does two things. One, it's a very great memory technique to learn your talk and have physical cues that help you remember the points in it. So I think that's a useful thing. And also I learned a lot just in terms of how do you deliver a message. Just for instance, when I did dialogue versus when I was speaking firsthand, and how in dialogue, the idea was, don't turn to the audience, turn to like I'm speaking to someone partly, not all the way, and switch places and do it for the other person. And that was like, you know, that was new knowledge for me, like how to do that and do it, like, in a way that felt natural. But I think that that really worked. And that was. That was great.

And I think one of the ideas I loved and you implemented incredibly was your idea was part of your healing process, part of your anecdote as antidote, as Mark was saying, was the forgiveness and the thank you. So you had a thousand of your colleagues stand up and say thank you to each other. As part of your presentation. And I just, I love that because now you're giving them an experience, as Mark says, as opposed to a speech. Where did that idea come from? Or give us some backstory on that.

You have to know your audience. And this is an audience of high powered CEOs who I've kind of spent the last couple of decades with and friends. So I didn't know everybody. Obviously there's a lot of people I didn't know, but I know the type. And one of the things in this audience, and it's probably true of lots of different audiences, but in this particular case, I'd say half of them are add a lot of leaders are. Have certain peculiarities, but one thing that they have in common is they don't like to sit around and they're very action oriented. So to get them engaged in my talk and to bring them to their feet and have them not just say thank you, but say thank you to each other and bring it viscerally to life, just felt like a really good way to kind of bring the audience to the table.

And you did it at the very end. It was part of your big ending. It was part of the climax. It wasn't anticlimactic. And you also. Also did that deliberately. Yes.

Yeah, I think it was kind of just. It just came out naturally. I don't know. I don't remember exactly why it happened then, but. But it was the message of in forgiving, you're forgiven. And to get to these. This place saying thank you was part of my process. And I wanted everyone to kind of understand what that feels like and just start saying thank you. And so I just got everybody up to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It doesn't hurt with your standing ovation if you already have them standing.

True. I would never argue that point.

They're there already. Nice. And if we go back and just look quick at the stage plan, part of Smoke's story was literally saying thank you to people and each different place and position. And so. And that led up to the close, which is where he told his des story and then he closed on that. And I just, I thought that was brilliant.

So.

So Mark's gonna kind of go through the keepers unless you have another question mark.

Just to get Smoke. To reiterate one of his most powerful points, imagine if you will smoke someone who is under the power of your influence and they know what you've done, and they say, smoke, I've got a story I kind of want to tell, but I'M not sure if I tell it, what one bit of advice would you give that person?

Do it for the right reasons. If it will help you by telling it or will help others by you telling it, then I would say it's probably something you should do, but you have to be ready to do it. Like, so the other thing is what appeared to be me being very vulnerable, and I think that's how everyone would have read what I delivered is a very vulnerable story is not actually vulnerability once you've processed it fully. So it's actually just being honest and true. And so for me, what felt very vulnerable to the audience was actually just me telling a story. It doesn't mean that I didn't have emotion around it, but I had already processed a lot of that. It wasn't still, like, traumatic for me to talk about it, and I think that's important. So if someone's on the fence, it's like, okay, where are you in your process with whatever story you want to tell? And have you decoupled your identity from the story enough to where you can have detachment and speak? You want to speak with emotion and feeling, but you don't want to be so emotional where, like, you. You collapse on stage because it's so. Still, so raw for you. It has to be the right time. Yeah.

You don't want to use the stage for therapy, as we say. I think that you really nailed it, that you've got to decouple from the event. And Mark, I'm going to just show the end of his speech to show how that looked with everybody saying thank you.

If you're listening, just listen up.

And forgiveness is not condoning. It's not. It is freedom. Now join me in taking the first step to living in gratitude. Please stand up. Look at your neighbors. Now tell three of them, thank you, thank you, thank you. Over the coming days, please say thank you to the people you meet in all walks of life. You will feel the gratitude grow inside in forgiving. We are forgiven. Thank you. Thank you. Boom.

Boom, Mark, as you gather your thoughts. So Smoke Mark was taking notes as we went through this. If someone is a CEO and they have a business that they would like to sell and they want your help or they just want to reach out to you, what way would you recommend? What's the best way to connect with Smoke Wallen?

Well, I've got a. My personal website is smokewalin.com, so that's easy. You can find me on YouTube. Like you said. I've got some stuff on There I'm very pretty active on LinkedIn so you can always message me there. All those are ways to get me. But STS Capital is our firm. We're middle market exits 100 million and up generally speaking, but can sometimes help people in different sizes. But yeah, I'm really easy to find because I'm the only smoke that I've found so far that there is out there. So it's not that hard to get me.

Yes.

MOG is your actual real name, correct?

Smoke, correct? Yes.

And that company name is sts, Sierra Tango, Sierra Capital Partners. STS Capital Partners. And the senior partner has given us some wisdom today. And smoke some nuggets you left for me. 1Share your story to help others. You say you owed it to the world, but think it through. Compose your talk carefully with sensitivity and do not shock your audience. Share if you feel called and unlock that container that change your life. I love that. Continually define and refine your message. Remember your audience can't absorb multiple complex messages in a short time. Get a machete. Be clear on your purpose and capture the memory of the moment to create a visceral understanding in the minds of your audience. Your story is a gift. Give it freely. Make sure you are ready to share. You'll share for the right reasons and be willing to decouple your identity enough to have detachment and there and then share from your heart. Smoke. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you both Darren and Mark and thanks for all your coaching and help and being the people you are. I know you guys are helping people give speeches, but you're also making a big difference in the world by helping people refine their messages, deliver them effectively. And that's impacting all kinds of uncounted lives out there. And so what you guys do is actually God's work. It's important.

Thank you, thank you Smoke.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And we really appreciate your time. And will you be in Barcelona?

To be determined, to be determined.

Well, please say hello if you do. And thanks for helping the other ypoers who are going through it. They loved having you on the call. I think it really was more helpful. You are an amazing human being and you have changed how I look at my life and what I think and how I act when I come into people who are homeless. And I see them differently because of you, because of your story. So thank you. We'll see you next week.

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