Ep. 29 The Show Must Go On! Unforgettable Under Pressure with Dr. Terry Lyles

Hey, Mark, you know we have one of the coolest jobs in the world that when everything's going well and you walk in and you've got that network marketing company in front of you and everybody's cheering, you haven't even walked on stage yet. It's awesome.

It's fantastic. Yeah, I know, man.

But, Mark, what do you do when unexpected pressure comes and attacks you? Whether it's internal things happening at home, maybe your business, maybe it's the event, or maybe it's something that out there just driving the nation crazy. How do you handle the pressure? And by the way, Mark, I know you're a music guy. What song comes to mind?

We see ourselves under pressure. That's really, really bad. But today we're gonna handle that issue. What do you do? How can you be unforgettable under pressure?

Let's do this.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

All right, Mark, welcome. Thanks for joining me today. I love this subject. All that's happening, all the craziness in the world, like there's that pressure out there. Keynote speeches being canceled, events being canceled. We're not canceling ours, by the way.

No, no.

I don't care if it's you and me in a room.

We're.

We're doing this next week, stagetimelive.com.

That'S right. We're gonna be live in Vegas. And listen, that pressure is real. And I'm so happy that we get a special guest Today, Terry Lyles. Dr. Terry Lyles, a buddy of mine. We get to share the platform together on several occasions, and he's America's stress coach. His whole theme, Darren, is how do you perform under pressure? Terry, welcome, my friend. How you doing today?

Thank you both for allowing me to be with you guys. It sounds interesting already, so I'm ready to go. Sounds great.

I'm just glad you're here, Terry. I got to share the platform with you a few times, hear you talk about dealing with pressure in your life. You've done, you work with some very high profile pressure people, like NASCAR drivers, and you've been on TV several times on News programs several times tell people, deal with how we handle the stress of life. How do we perform well under pressure? And the speakers, we gotta go on the platform and it's showtime every time, no matter what we have to deal with. And sometimes it's health, it's our family, we get depressed for going through stuff. But you know what that meeting planner doesn't want to know or even care about? That they're under pressure for you to perform so they can look good for their boss and for their clients. So, Terry, do you have one particular tip for speakers who are facing pressure? How do they perform well under pressure when they say they know that meeting planner wants them to do well? And you can see the sweat beading on that meeting planner's face. What would you tell a speaker in that situation?

You know what I've been telling myself for two decades doing this is. It's all preparation, preparation, preparation. So if you're prepared, you know your material cold, if your PowerPoint doesn't work, if the lights go out, if the audio doesn't work, you're okay, you know, you know your information. But how you stay calm under that kind of pressure is knowing that I'm going to make a difference. I'm going to change someone's life today. And what I'm going to say is going to make a difference in the world in this room today. So I focus on the purpose, not on the outcome of or the mistake I might make or the mistake that someone else might make. I'm focused on what am I delivering to these people to make a difference in their lives. And that calms me, keeps me centered in my purpose. That keeps me off the wall at 230 miles an hour as an IndyCar.

Driver, which that's kind of important. Staying off the wall, stay off the wall.

Never look at the wall. It's the first rule in race car driving. If you see the wall, never look at the wall, because you're going to hit it every time. Always look where you want to be going. So if the lights go out, and I've had all these things happen, you know, over a couple decades, the mic doesn't work. I walk up and down the aisles. I am engaged in those people. They are mine that day because they paid to be there. They deserve to receive, and I'm going to give them because it was my day and my calling to be there for them, and I'm going to offer and serve them what it is I came to give them.

And the event planner, they've got so many other stresses. We need to be the one who. That's what we're getting paid for, is to show up and be professional. It's easy to be the speaker when everything's good. We get paid to be the speaker, to be the pro, to actually calm the event planner when they're freaking out.

Yeah, well, and that's, I love that. I mean, I, you know, we talked just before the show. I had a impromptu that was a cancellation in Vegas. I've done several of these where a name speaker would. They can't get there because of health issues or whatever's going on in their lives. And I get a call and they're like, look, we know you're the guy. You know you can handle this. And I know Mark's done this as well. And they're like, just show up. And if you can do this, take. I get a call, 3 o' clock afternoon, eastern coast, you know, in my, in Miami area. I'm in Vegas that night on stage at 9 o' clock in the morning. And the other guy, the other guy's posters are all over the Coliseum. And it's not even him, it's me. And I'm like, look, that guy's not here, but I'm here. And let me tell you what I do. And it's going in there and saying, you guys, look, I got this. I do this for a living. Don't worry about it. I got you under control. So the meeting planners are like, oh my God, what if this, what if that you're walking past this guy's posters. I don't care. Doesn't matter. Because when they're done, they're going to look for my poster because I'm going to impart something to them that's going to impact their lives. And again, it's all about purpose driven appropriation of why I'm there, not just the logistics of why I'm there.

Wow, that's really cool. Because, you know, you mentioned that particular incident. Yes, there is pressure on the meeting planner.

Yes.

Make no mistake, it's multiple. Pressure is also pressure on you because you must now perform. I had a similar thing happen, Terry. I had to replace another speaker. I'm going to call him Fred. And when I got the call, I'm going to go to this event. I was given this mandate. I was told to be so good that they forget Fred, talk about what you're under pressure. So I had to go and perform under pressure. And when I was done, I did a one hour program on performance and excellence. And when I was done, the planner looked at me and said two words. They said, fred who?

Exactly. I was like, thank you, God.

They said, fred who? Because they said, I got in there and I did the job. As you said. I was focused on the purpose and I could have put pressure on myself. Her pressure plus my pressure was a powder keg.

But you're right.

When you focus on the purpose and I know what I have to bring to the table, I bring my very best every single time I talk about excellence. And if we focus on that purpose and we choose to be excellent and. And commit to making the meeting planner look good, forget ourselves. If I make them look good, then it's a win, win, win. And that was one of the most empowering feelings I ever got from delivering a presentation under that particular kind of pressure. And I know Darren has had his own kind of pressure. He's been speaking around the world for the last 20 years and he has probably stories he could tell the whole world. But I want to say thank you for pointing out the key here, to focus on the purpose and also by serving the meeting planner, help helping to relieve their pressure. You're really doing a service to the industry, to the organization, and they will remember you even though they see somebody else's posters. Any thoughts on that, Darren?

Yes. No, I agree. I mean, I wrote that down. By the way, Mark, I know you do the keepers.

Yes.

You've been off for a couple weeks in another country, traveling. Must be nice eating bomb bombs. So I have been doing the keepers at the end. So as a heads up to our amazing, brilliant guest here at the end, Mark kind of recaps the keepers. So, Mark, I already wrote that one. Be so good they forget Fred. That's brilliant. And then the purpose is to relieve the pressure.

Yes.

You know, focus on the purpose to relieve the pressure. I just think it's so tough. And here's a situation. I love your insight in this. I remember early on in my Toastmasters career when I was speaking and I was the big guy they brought in. And it just so happened that my girlfriend that I was dating at the time broke up with me the night before my big keynote. And I'm like up in my room, like, crying and bomb like, oh. And then I'm like, you believe in yourself. You know, I had to dig deep. And I mean, the show was on and I'm. I thank God I had Mark in my life to give me guidance and try and do just that, remind the purpose, and then I can go Back to my room and sop up another box of Kleenex when I'm done. Figure it out in the moment. So what's your thoughts on that type of situation?

I think what you said is spot on. I think in front of people, I mean, we've all been speaking in front of people our whole lives. It sounds like I know I have and you guys have as well. And it's about being authentic. The worst brokenness in us is what changes people's lives. If we're willing to be authentic and just be real. And I have a 35 year old special needs son who's ever spoken, walked, he's in a wheelchair, he's 35 years old. He weighs 65 pounds. He's probably the size of a seven year old. He's diapered and fed as an infant. I'm doing my shifts with him tonight for the next three nights and we trade him off and we take care of him and love on him. I shave him, I bathe him, I take care of him just like my wife does. And you know, we do what we do. So I share his story because I'm like, if he's having a good day, what is wrong with me? If I'm having a perceived, perceived, quote, unquote, bad day? My focus is wrong. I'm not focused on the end result. I need to be focused on the process. So to me, calmness under pressure is, as I say, to race car drivers, it's one corner at a time. You know, if you're driving the Indy 500 is two and a half mile track. You're doing 230 miles an hour, you're going to do four hours of driving, but it's literally a football field. 100 yards is one second at 200 miles an hour. So it's a hut, it's a hundred yards a second. So you're traveling at such speed you don't have time to think. It's got to be loaded in your autonomic nervous system, which you already have to be calm before you started speaking. So when I'm calm before I speak, I don't have to worry about speaking. I just start speaking and it's already there because the information's in me. If you're prepared, you know your info and you know your purpose, nothing can stop you.

Terry Sometimes, though, we tend to get, as humans, this emotional piece can really almost wreck us.

Sure.

And it's not always easy to rein our emotions in. And the average person who works, who's going to go on the platform, not having as much experience as you have. And God bless you for doing that. 35 years. You are really an example. So many of us, but many average people say, you know, I don't know what that's like. I get hit with this issue out of the blue. I'm an emotional wreck, and I got to go out there and move people. How can I possibly do it? How can we regain that level of confidence on our own? Is it meditation? Is it prayer? What ideas have people shared with you? What does it work for you?

That's a great question. Okay, I would avoid the medication. I would definitely proliferate. Yeah, meditation. How they said medication. Meditation is fun. Yeah, meditation. Yeah, meditation, prayer. All of that is great. Okay, so that's all that helps us. But at the end of the day, we have to stand up in that space of I'm not sure what's going to happen. I could fall down. I always tell my wife, I'm like, baby, I'm going to go. Just. I'm not going to fall off stage. She's like, no, baby, you're not going to fall off stage. You know, I go. Because I make a joke of it and I go, but the point is purpose. Look, I don't care if I do fall off stage on my back on the floor, they're still going to get my message. Why? Because I'm there for a reason and a purpose, to change someone's life. I don't care if I make a mistake. I don't care if the lights go out. I don't care if the PowerPoint doesn't work. It does. I've done this in jungles around the world, in disaster zones. It doesn't matter to me. I can do this in my sleep. I wake up at night actually sweating at times on stage, because this is what I was, I think, born to do. But on top of that, I've groomed myself. Because talent and skill are different things. Talent's what God gives us, you know, I mean, he gives us talent. Skill is the discipline you put around the talent to be excellent. So you got to work your skill, you got to work your craft, know your information. Don't be afraid of your people in front of you. Just know that if I'm on point and I'm in purpose, they're going to walk out with something, no matter what goes on. And that is my. I don't care how many times you've spoken, people say, do you get nervous? I don't really get nervous. Sometimes I get like agitated or I think, oh my God, what if this happens? Or that happens? But I go back to why am I here? I'm here to share a message of why they brought me here to perform under pressure. And that's my book. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to just tell them what I know. If it's not good enough, it wasn't good enough. But I believe it will be because this is all I know. And I believe in it enough that I don't stop until I get that message across and I give it to them and I let God help them resonate with that. And I walk out and leave them and they go out and do what they have to do with their lives. And in most cases it's an inspirational piece, not just a motivational piece. It's an inspirational piece. It changes lives.

And Mark, one of the other challenges I've seen, there's someone that you and I both know and I remember early on witnessing this where he is a world class speaker and yet his PowerPoint wasn't working and he literally like freaked out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like it's like that is kind of like self imposed pressure, if you will. Like we gotta be prepared to be able to handle that. I know it's a little off course, but I want to make sure we brought that up because what would you recommend? Recommendary for somebody who's maybe newer and new to the pressure? You know, it's one thing for us who've been doing it for a while, we've got the ability to improv. But someone newer, what would you recommend?

You know, you've got to know your information. You have to know the information cold. I mean, and you know, I can do an all day. I don't do many all day trainings now because back in the day, you know, I would do seven hours a day at Chrysler General Motors up in Detroit and training management and groups. Literally seven hour days. But that was in the early 2000s. Now no one has the time to pay that. So I do it in three hour sessions or less. But I literally, in a full day session of seven hours, I would probably have 15 slides.

Wow.

It was photos with some bullet points. And now I do a three hour session. I may have three slides of information and eight or ten slides of photos. But those photos are stories. Why facts tells stories sell. Yeah. So I share my life stories and it weaves and connects that information. So if that PowerPoint goes off and it doesn't work, I have four points that I talk about, who we are, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I can do it my sleep and I can move around. You got to get your presentation down to 2 or 3, 4 points. No matter what happens, you know what those are, navigate through them. They won't know you. And I've watched Mark. Mark's a master. Darren, I'm sure you are too. You sound like you are. I've watched Mark do this. You guys are world class speakers. I mean, you just have to know your information. You know, you can't just be afraid. And it's not memorizing it, it's being directed and led by the passion of I'm going to make these four points and wherever I go, if I have to go off point, it's okay, I'm still going to get. They won't know the difference because they didn't get the PowerPoint before you. They don't know the difference. They're ignorant to what you know. You know what I'm saying? That's the beauty. They don't know the difference.

Yeah, we got to have some kind of. If. If you're new and emerging and you rely on PowerPoint, we've got to have that backup plan. Like your handouts, your shorthand notes, of course, write it out so you can, you know, Our goal is to be present, not perfect. To be in the moment. And like you said, I love what you said. Let the passion lead you because sometimes you're going to make those adjustments in the moment from experience that you would have never planned. But that's what they needed.

You said something really great. Because the Greek word for perfect, pistuo, is literally not flawless. It means complete. So if I start and finish and I complete my message, they don't know the difference. Was it perfect? Nope. Was it flawless? Nope. Was it complete? Yep. Because I did A to Z. They don't know the difference.

So Mark is my coach. I think you completed me. I don't know if that.

That's it. That's what it is.

Jerry Maguire.

Baby.

It's funny though, Darren, you said, or just now, you new speakers very often rely on PowerPoint and maybe in so doing, we can potentially put ourselves under pressure by relying on PowerPoint. I spent a lot of years doing junior high, senior high school programs. I began to use PowerPoint slides because kids like visuals and I had my own picture of me when I was nine years old. My goofy outfit, high water pants, all that stuff. And kids laugh. But I was doing a school program and doing it for a While. And then I got an assignment to do a school one morning in California, and it turns out they wanted all 900 kids here to program, and there's too many kids to go in the gymnasium. And I had my PowerPoint, my laptop, good to go. And they said, we're going to do this out in the commons area in, like, an amphitheater that's outdoors at 8:30am and the sun is shining. Guess what? Ain't no way they're showing PowerPoint slides in broad daylight. And an 8. It's not going to happen. What did I do? I put my laptop away and I did my program without PowerPoint slides because I didn't rely on the slides. The thing is, yeah, we have come to a place where people are paying 10, $15,000 for their PowerPoint slides. I know people who. And that's fine. But if something goes wrong, the question is, can I perform without relying completely on my slides? I went to a program conference in Dallas, Texas, back in 1995, 97, 98. And one gentleman had PowerPoint slides, and he couldn't get them to work with the technology. And they literally moved his slot on the agenda to a different time so he could get his slides to work because he could not do it without the slides. I'm not faulting him, but 21st century, I'm thinking, they want you. They want your message. The slide should complement you, but not be the source of your message, because you are your message. And by reliability on slides, I think sometimes we can put ourselves under pressure.

Yeah, that's a great point, Mark. I had an old minister years ago when I was young, and I. And I. And I asked him, I said, so how do you do what you do? He's like, hey, I just go up. I do what I do. Whatever. And made it sound simple. But he was like, 80 years old, but he'd been speaking for 60 years. And he goes, listen, son, let me tell you something. It's okay to use notes. Don't let the notes use you. I never forgot that it so impacted my life that they are just a supplement to me. But I am the message. My notes are not the message. Love it.

Nice. It's really great. Don't let your. You use your notes. Don't let your notes.

Notes use you. Yeah. And I mean, that was like 25, 30 years ago. I've never forgotten it. And no matter what happens, I'm like, I got this because I am not my notes. I am me. My notes are just a guideline, and they don't know the difference.

Anyway, Terry, just have to warn you on this podcast, when we have brilliant moments and things.

Yeah.

Sound effects.

Geez, I like it, I like it. I got a sound effect. I like it. I'll put it on my ringtone. Man, that's awesome. That's great.

There you go. Now I gotta ask a question. I turned the corner very slightly, Terry.

Yes.

As we're recording this, we're at a time when the world is concerned about health issues. Right. And sometimes the show must go on. But you're called upon to deliver an impactful and powerful presentation. But physically you are not at your best. And all of us at some point in time have had to go on the platform. We were feeling 60%, 65%. We don't feel our best. We've had a vibe. We got something going on physically in our body and we don't feel powerful. And that in itself can be a stressor. What do you recommend to our listeners that they can do when they're dealing with physically not being at their best, but the meeting planner demands and perform at their best? Any ideas there, Terry?

Yeah, I don't know how far I can go with this because I write about this in my book, but I'm just going to say it because you guys invited me to your show. But I was doing a gig several years ago in San Francisco for Macy's west, and the day before, I had sliced my foot open playing in the pool with my son. Hit a jet on the. You know, and it just slight. It literally sliced my foot open. I bandaged it up, I got on the plane and went to San Francisco. I hardly could stand up and I literally stood there before I walked on stage and I literally just prayed and I said, God, you know what, you got to help me. I don't know. I've got to go do this because I don't have a choice. This is what I do. I went out there and I don't know what happened. I had no pain and I just went out and I did what I did. And I know God was with me because it was the purpose. And I believe in a bigger purpose than my own because I am not my own. And regardless if. Look, I've done. I did things with Gulfstream just about a year ago and I had a sinus infection and it was draining down my throat and I could hardly breathe. I had a glass of water over and over and over again. I would take a few words and I would take a drink and I would say, guys, you Gotta hang with me. Because I'm like, you're gonna leave and you're gonna be empowered. And I just. Because they don't care. They want the message. It's not about your physicality. It's about, what did you leave with me? And my goal, Darren, Mark, is I leave everything on the field every single day. Whatever you're going to get, you better scrap me and take me. This is all I got.

Yeah.

By the way, Mark, I think Mike Rayburn mentioned it in episode two where he said, leave it all on the stage. We've got to. And sometimes we need that reminder and it's okay, but we've got to have that reminder. And Mark, just a super quick, funny story. I made the mistake of having too much water before a speech happened too.

Well, no.

And it was a Toastmaster thing where I was actually showing my championship speech which was seven minutes long. So I, I had to go so bad. I hit play. The video is going. And I ran out to the restroom and when I came back in, the door was locked.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you do?

How do you get back in? You bang on the door.

I was banging on the door and finally they opened it up, but for a moment I just kind of freaked out. I'm like, okay, what's gonna happen at.

The end of the video?

That is. That is what it is. And you know what? It's being able to go, you know what? This is not going to define me. I was in Baltimore, Maryland years ago. It was the largest group I'd been in at that time. It was about 25,000 people. It was a multi level marketing company and they brought me in to speak for them. So I'm all fired up and I'm like, oh my God, this is the biggest thing I've ever done in my life. Just like 2000, 2001. And I'm backstage and I'm ready to go and I'm fired up and I'm walking up and the president of the company, Promisado, he's actually introducing me. And I realized the guys come up, they go, you don't have a mic on? And I'm like, I don't have a mic? What do you mean I don't have a mic on? They're literally like undressing me to put a mic on. Like, my jacket, my shirt, they're trying to stick it inside. You know what it's like. And then he's like, and here's Dr. Terry. And I'm walking out buttoning my, like, Trying to put my clothes on. And I walked out and went, you know what? I don't need clothes. I can do this. Whatever I gotta do, baby, I got this. And you know what? It was one of the most influential experiences to me in my life because I realized it was not about being perfect, it was about being complete.

And I think if we can have that ability to laugh, I think, you know, at the beginning I didn't have that. But as I realized I was like, oh, standing outside, banging on the door to let me in. And I'm like, this is going to be funny someday.

Not right, exactly. I, I mean one time I was doing a gig for Pfizer Pharmaceutical, hotel room, and we were in some city, whatever, and it's like 5:30 in the morning and I'm up because I had to go get ready to go on stage and start at 7 in the morning. And I'm walking down the hallway going, and a door opens up on my right and there's a guy that opens his door into my hotel room and he is butt naked and he's going to pick up his newspaper, he's going to pick up his newspaper off the ground. I didn't even look, I just kept walking. I'm like, good morning. He said, I don't know, he didn't say anything probably. So my first message to that group that morning was, look, I didn't have that bad of a day, okay? This guy was butt naked and he, he had no idea I was there. So what is your pressure today? You know, and it's all about just using relevance of the moment and your day. I've had airport issues and fiascos and I use those as current day issues right now. This is what I just did. What did you do? And they're like, wow, that's real life, man. It's not canned jokes, it's not a canned story. Life is stranger than fiction every day. That's why I don't read fiction. All you gotta do is just look.

Around, you know, funny thing is not funny. But on a more serious note, I realized for many me, I have to really think about my audience. Because there's somebody in my audience whose day is worse than mine, whose life is more pressured than mine, who is facing stress. I cannot even believe I may go to an event. It could be a network marketing event and they're there and that's the last day they're going to go. They're ready to quit, they're done, they're not going to come back after that there's somebody there who just found out who knows their husband's having an affair. I don't know what it is, but there are people in our audiences who may look really, really good and we feel this stress or they didn't start very, very well. We didn't get our morning coffee, whatever the case may be. But there's somebody in the audience who needs me and my message on that day at that time to change their life. And I find that if I can just take my focus for a moment off what I'm through and give my all to help them get through what they're going through, that'll make a great difference. And Darren, my partner here once talked to me about when you go on stage, you have a pressure or an issue you're facing. Well, guess what? An hour from now, that's still gonna be there. Did I get that right, Darren?

Yeah. It's gonna be there when you're done. It could be worse, but it will still be there. Make no mistake.

Yes, Mark.

That's what you reminded me. It's like, we've gotta, like leave that at the door. It'll be there. But for now, right now, I have this opportunity to help these people. I got to be present with them. And sometimes I'll. Even if I am having a freak out moment, I'll just sit there on the side of the room and just say, I love you, I'm here. I'm going to help you. And almost like train my brain. It's like, nope, it's about them. And just like in real life, when we're depressed or down, the best thing we could do is help somebody else. And that kind of helps turn around our own attitude. So, yeah, perfect opportunity.

Yeah. And that's. And that is the power of knowing what it is you're doing. I may not be the best any given day, but I can be the best of me every day if I just give everything I have that day, whatever that is. I just want to give everything I have. And I don't want to live. I mean, my first book I wrote, the last chapter was Live with no Regrets. I can't live with regrets. I'm going to leave it there and just put it all on the line and just, you know, if I win, I lose. Whatever it is I gave everything, I left it there. And I think as speakers, if you go with that kind of purpose and passion, you're never going to fail, ever. You're never going to fail. Because failure is, to me, six feet closer to My goal, because I'm six feet, I just want to fall forward. I want to fail forward. As long as I can fail forward and just go like, I'm closer to my goal, somebody here will be impacted. It doesn't matter how eloquent it sounds, how funny it was, how real, how. It doesn't matter. I don't even think about that. People say you have to tell a joke. People have to laugh. They have to. I don't tell jokes. I just talk life. And people laugh because it's life. My kids are crazy. I mean, they're all trying to kill themselves. It's brain damage. I mean, it's. It is what it is. I mean, people are people. And then they're like, oh, my God. It's just like Mark, he just laughed because he knows we all have kids. You're like, okay, this guy, he's real. I don't have to. I don't have to tell a joke and then try to connect it to a point. No. Know your points of interest. Tell your life. That's what people want to know. They want to do life with you.

Awesome. Darren. I want to offer some advice or some thought particularly to emerging speakers who get a really good, cool gig and they find themselves on the platform on the same agenda with a well known speaker or a celebrity speaker. And they think to themselves, oh, my gosh, I got to go speak at the Terry Lyles and Darren Lacroix. What in the world am I gonna do, Darren? Have you ever seen that or experienced that yourself before?

Yeah, absolutely. It happens all the time. And I remember feeling those feelings like. Like, how am I ever gonna follow that?

Right? Right, yeah. So what do you do there, Terry? What are you doing that?

I'm like, I'm gonna give you two minutes. I need that guy in the front row because I'm gonna blow his mind. So set him down. I'm gonna give him time to get his mic off, put him in the front row. And he's the only guy I'm talking to tonight. Because, bro, you don't know what you just stirred up. You see? So I turned that threat to a challenge. I actually have a challenge coin. That's what we use in the military, the Air Force. It's a coin that you receive in military for doing different acts of bravery and accommodations. So I have one, and it's called a challenge coin. And on one side it says threat, bad stress. And you flip it over, it says good stress challenge. So it's not about relieving the stress or the pressure. It's converting bad stress or pressure to good stress and pressure, which is threat to challenge. So I want that guy on the front row and I'm like, baby, I got you. Now it's my turn. Let me help you and your family because you did what you did. Love it. But you don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. Let me tell you who I am and that's how I deal with it. So I don't care who goes before me. I love it, love it, love it, love it. I'll just do my thing. If it's not good enough, don't bring me back. But you know what? They do.

And Mark, I remember in the stand up comedy world, that was what my mentor Vinnie taught me. He said, you have to become the person that no one can to follow.

Absolutely. You become that.

That's how you become a headliner. When you're an opening act and the middle act can't follow you, well, that's when you get upgraded to middle act. When you're the middle act and the headliner can't follow you, that's when you get upgraded. But we've also got to think about it not just from, hey, look at me, but how cool is it for the audience to get both of us right?

Well, and that's it. That's it. But to the speaker, to speaker, it's more about, look, I can stand with you toe to toe. Oh, it's the, the football player that's heads on with the, the defensive lineman. You're an offensive lineman. It's like, you know what? I got you, you got me. Okay, good. We got each other. But you know what? I'm gonna beat you. You know, it's a mentality of, you're good, I'm good. It's not about me being better than you, it's about me being me. And I'm not threatening, I'm not threatened by you. That's the key. That's the point. It's not about winning, losing. It's like, look, you win, but I can win with you, baby. We can do this. Before long. You're going to hire me to be on stage with you because we got everybody. It's an attitudinal thing that really is more spiritual than it is just thinking I can beat you. It's not about beating someone. You know, my best performances are me beating my expectations. Expectations, Nice.

And when we get that way, and let's just say if you're a little insecure it's okay. You're emerging and this person might be a mentor. But what we could do, there's kind of like a stock line quote unquote from the speaker slash comedy world that you could use just to be authentic with what you're feeling. If I'm up and coming and Mark was speaking before me and I was intimidated by that, I would say, wow, I have made it. When you get Mark Brown opening for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what I would do? And I've done this before? I would incorporate Mark Brown's or Darren's, your program into my verbiage. Mark said this, Darren said that. Let me tell you what that means. That guy is smart. And, and Mark, you've done that with me. I watched you do this with me before. You know, he's like that guy, he goes, that guy's educated, you know, whatever that is. You know what I mean? Because you're smart enough. It was fun. Because you're smart enough to know that it's not about you and me.

Yeah.

It's about them. But you know what? We can stand shoulder to shoulder. And whether you're Tom Brady or you're whomever, you can throw, catch, pitch, catch, receive, not, it's all about, hey, we can all be great, but it's not about us. It's about the score. And this is what I teach athletes and performers. It's what is the score? Did you win or did you not win? Was it your expectation to win? Did the score help you win? Whatever that was. And race cars, if you didn't crash, it was a good day if you finished in the top 10, it was a good day if you top five, great day if you win, ecstatic. My Guy won the IndyCar championship this year and he had the pressure of he had to win the last eight races of the year. He had to podium or he had no money left. And he podiumed all eight races, won five of those eight races and he now has a full time ride who's going to race this weekend in Palm beach in this area because he learn to embrace that challenge. And that's what it's about. It's not about being afraid. It's turning fear into that process of courage. Fear and courage are 180 degrees apart. If you just eat your fear, you can spit out courage. Courage is not the absence of fear. It's a utilization of fear. It's just knowing how to process it and say, I'm going to just do it anyway. That's what Our brave military personnel do every single day. They're afraid of dying just like anybody else, but they trust their training, that is their preparation and they trust their weaponry, their power points and everything else that should work. But if it doesn't, they'll get the guy next to them, get their weapon and they stay alive. So it's all preparation, expectation, deliverability on what you know you can do.

And Terry, when you said my guy, I'm assuming that means that this person, this race car driver is using you as a consultant or for advice, Is that what you mean?

Yeah, I was, I coached him all year. Yeah, he was my, one of my clients. I mean, he's one of 40 I've trained, so he's a young guy, he just turned 21. Oliver Askew.

Congratulations.

He's running his first IndyCar race this weekend actually. And, and I got a 14 year old I just started working with. I've trained multiple teenagers getting into the higher levels and it's all about mind body control. So when you talk about being on stage, okay, the worst thing could happen is what? You make a mistake, These guys, you make a mistake, you hit the wall, you could die.

Excellent, excellent perspective.

Yeah. Are you gonna die on stage? You're probably not gonna die on stage, dog. It's probably not that bad.

It might feel that way sometimes.

No, the chemical, the chemical, great point. Listen, the chemicals are the same, it feels the same. Cortisol feels the same in everybody. Male, female, young, old. It's a release in the body. Chemically, it makes us fight flight. Right. But it's knowing that this is not going to kill me. I'm going to hit that wall, I'm going to drive through it, you know, and I'll just. If I'm going to crash, I'm going to crash winning. If I win, I won and I didn't crash. I mean, that's the level of. It's a millisecond, it's a thousandths of a second. It's one inch on the track, you make one mistake, you hit, you're done. Or you're a hero. So on stage it's like, look, really, the lights are on, the mic works, the PowerPoint, bro. I got this. This is easy. I'm just going to dance. This is easy. I got this. It's all about perspective.

Thanks so much, Terry. I mean, this is like a mouthful. A brain full, a heart full. There's so much material here. I can't believe time was flown by so quickly. I mean, Darren, I'm hearing Terry, really focus on the purpose. And something you said just now brought to my. One of my mantras. Talk about somebody who's a celebrity or who's a big name speaker on the same platform. But I tell people this. Everyone has a story to tell. Our lives tell a story. And there's somebody out there that needs to hear your story. So your story, your life and your experience are just as important as that of any celebrity or any great actor, performer. Each of us has value to offer to each of our audiences. And not only do we have the opportunity to share it, stress or no stress, we have the responsibility to share it. So, Terry, thanks so much for all the great wisdom tonight, man.

You're welcome. You're welcome. Hey, look, the book is Performance under Pressure. And they can get it on Amazon. You can go to Terry Lyles book dot com. You can get it there. If people want to know more, that's how we can get there. And it's all just about helping people get to the next level. Yeah.

And Terry, where, if somebody wanted to work with you one on one, where would they go? What website?

Terry Lyles. T E R R Y L Y L E S dot com.

Cool.

And just message me there. And yeah, it's really simple. So really appreciate you guys. I know you guys are pros. Marcus, fantastic. I mean, he's the guy that's spoken before me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure you are too. Yeah, I follow. I had to follow him. So I'm like, all right, what am I gonna do now? I'm like, I'm the guy in the room. It's like, what are you gonna do? So thank you, guys. I mean, speaking is only a conduit to get a message across to other people. It's not about us, it's about them.

Yeah, awesome, awesome.

And Terry, we're going to ask you if you've got one more bit of advice for anyone. But before we do that, Mark Brown, what do you got for keepers, man?

For keepers. First of all, focus on your purpose, not the outcome or the pressure. That's good. I like this one. I'm going to kind of modify Terry's phrase. Talent is God given, but the skill is effort driven. Talent is God given, but the skill is effort driven. Know your material code and you use your notes. Don't let your notes use you. I love that.

Yes, sir.

Okay. Don't beat the other person. Beat your own expectations. And remember, it's about them, not about you. So always, always, always serve your audience. Embrace the challenge and Always focus on your purpose.

And Mark, I think you missed a great one. Be so good they forget Fred.

Oh, that's right. Be so good they forget Fred. That's awesome. Awesome.

Yeah.

So, Terry, any final thoughts for helping people with advice on how do you be unforgettable under pressure?

You know, just live every day like it's the last day of your life. I mean, my son has been living and dying every day for 35 years with special needs issues. And every day I look at him, I'm like, he's alive but he's not alive. He's living, he's happy. I could be stressed out. I can sleep three or four hours a night with him trying to help him get through the night and stay alive and not aspirate. But you know what? Be alive, be present. Because we live today, tomorrow we die. Live every day like it's the last day on the planet. When you leave someone, tell them how much you love them, show them and go do what you do with purpose. And if you come back, it's a bonus. If you don't, it's a legacy.

Awesome. Thank you so much, Terry. We will. We're gonna leave it all on the platform like you say, Terry. Thanks so much. Friends, remember, we're all gonna face stressors, issues and pressure, but if we take Terry's advice, we will perform unforgettably under pressure.

And make sure you join us next week when we're gonna sit down with Tim Guard about humor on the platform. We'll see you next week.

Bye.

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If you like this episode, please leave us a review. If you want to get more from Mark and Darren, check out Stagetime University where they provide experienced presenters a proven path and world class feedback. To become the speaker of everyone is talking about, go to stagetimeuniversity.com join us next week. If you're going to take the time to prepare a presentation, make it unforgettable. So please leave us a review. If you want to get more from Mark and Darren, check out Stagetime University where they provide experienced presenters of proven path and world class feedback. To become the speaker everyone is talking about, go to stagetimeuniversity.com join us next week if you're going to take the time to prepare a presentation, make it unforgettable.