Ep. 290 YOUR UNFORGETTABLE IMAGE WITH JERRY METELLUS

Hey there, Mark Brown. Every speaker wants to be on stage, and we know that marketing is important. Well, important to marketing is important to image.

Definitely.

There is nobody better to talk about that than our friend Jerry Mattelis, celebrity photographer. And I want to talk about. When you have a session with him, it is not about click, click. Mark, your thoughts?

Let us talk for a second, my friend. Let's do this.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

Hey there, Mark Brown.

Whoa.

Celebrity photographer, friend, fan.

And.

And, oh, my goodness. When you do a session with Jerry, he, like, dives into your soul, holds it up, and then snaps the picture. I don't know how else to describe it, but we have had him at our events in the past. We're bringing him back for Game Changers 2025. And I could not be more excited for the people who will be. Jerry Ized. Mark.

Terrified. Jerry, how are you, man?

I'm fantastic. You know what? You need to trademark this. You're gonna get Jerry ized.

It's a good thing.

That's what Darren says.

I always say Jerry Fi, but not Jerry Curl. That's going away.

Oh, no, back to the 80s. The 80s called. He wanted back.

I'm gonna have to turn on the sound effects, Mark, if we're gonna start doing that.

Well, I know.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Darren, good. It is good to see you, Jerry. You are truly the photographer to the stars there in Las Vegas, near Darren home. And I've always enjoyed hanging out with you, getting my head shots from you. And you can make me look good, man.

You can make anybody look good.

Oh, whatever.

Yeah, we're gonna talk about that. As a matter of fact, yes.

So I and Mark, I have on video. We're gonna add it later, but he talked. We'll talk about how Ford approached him, because I thought that was good. But, Jerry, some of the celebrities, before we dive in, we just want to make sure people's attention and ears are open. Simone Biles. You just work with Simone Biles. You've worked with Mike Tyson, work with Seinfeld. Who are some of the other ones?

A few Other people. But. But let me tell you why I tend to shy away from giving a list of people, okay? Because it's a almost a falsehood to believe that celebrities are a brand apart, just have extreme circumstances, but in fact, they're just another person. So just because someone had special circumstances doesn't always make them special, but we delusion that they are. And in fact, there are a lot of people who are not celebrities who should be celebrated, and they're not because they don't have that status or did not meet those requirements or did not meet those circumstances. So there's no question that when you put celebrity photographer next to somebody's name, it opens people's eyes and ears and oftentimes their wallets because they, oh, you must be special. So from a marketing standpoint, it's fantastic. From a human, realistic standpoint.

Well, right now we're marketing you, so I'm going with fantastic.

But then we'll bring it down now. Now here's the thing. Am I a fantastic photographer? Absolutely. Yeah.

Because.

I've honed my craft. There's no question about it. And because of the journey, it led me to have the trust of people who have very, very exclusive clients to invite me to the party because I knew what I was doing and because I hold my craft. But I did not start with working with celebrities. In fact, I started working with castmates. So a little background. I used to be on the other side of the camera. I was an actor, a dancer, et cetera, et cetera. And my first photos, I was living in Paris, France at the time. And my first photos were photos of my castmates, other dancers. So I would take the headshots and, you know, for them to try to expand on wherever the contract was over or while in the contract, still go do a little extra work here and there. So that was one. So I honed the craft by working with people who already were performing. But the interesting you find, that's where I say it's just humanity. Because even people who are performers, often times they are challenged when in front of the camera, they don't know what to do, what do with my hands. I said, well, what do you do with your hands every day that you can talk about that you can talk about publicly? You know, so it's. It's this notion that some way, somehow the camera makes you someone different. And what I've learned through the years is all I do is amplify what already is. So when someone says, oh, you make me look amazing, I'm like, Did I Now, there's no question I have to know how to shine the light on somebody. I have to know how to direct them, to bring them out of their own shell, Without a doubt. And that's, I think, where the biggest challenge is, is we're all trapped into our mind into something we believe either that we are we're supposed to be or that we're trying to please the people pleaser, anybody try to please others. So we show. We show up in a way that's not congruent with who we really are. Right. And so where I'm good at is to make people drop the mask and show up.

I want to say you have a knack for capturing their amazing. You have a way to bring out their amazing and their naturalness and then just capture it. I mean, it's.

Oh, did I ever tell you where that came from? No, I'm sure I've told you. So whether people believe in it or not, I'm an intuitive, so I don't. I don't have a little car table with cards and a candle pulling, telling your future and things like this what it is I have. Most people have it, but not most people tap. Not everyone taps into it, number one. And then interpret the signals they receive. What we have an impression. When you first meet someone, you get an impression. Let me rephrase that. Your soul has an impression of the person you're meeting before your mind does. You walk in and go, ooh, I'm attracted to this person. Or there's something about this person that's unsettling. Then when go to the mind, no, I shouldn't be judgmental. I have to trust the person. So after you rel. Once you relieve that knife from your back, you realize, I should have listened to my first impression. You knew it walking in, right? And so what happens is. But you don't know why there was something. In my case, because I was given that gift, and I've worked with it. I could tell you what's going on with that person. I could tell you what's going on internally with that person. And oftentimes they say, how do you know that? I say, I didn't know until it started happening. So it's an instant thing that happens. And what I've learned with humans is everyone wants to feel safe, right? So if you offer them a landing pad, most people will jump because they feel safe. And the gift. With the gift, intuition, which I've also warned people now, I have the same gift as a con artist. The difference Is I use it for good. The con artists use it for something else. So I see in you what your vulnerability might be. I encourage you to embrace it or help you protect yourself from any external assault. The con artist will just say, hey, it distracts you while going into that vulnerability and reach in and steal from you. We have the same gift. We have the same ability. So when I see in you, whatever someone wants to ask me, so how. How do you do this? I had to stop and think, reverse engineer my own process because it's just very organic and say, with my gift of intuition, I go into your soul and find your truth deep in your gut, and I grab a handful of it and paint you outside with that truth. So by the time you leave, you actually see yourself. And that's when a lot of times people say, man, this is the first time I like a picture of myself. This is the first. Was the best picture of myself I've ever seen. I said, because I didn't allow you to hide anymore, I invite you to come and step out and show up. And once you show up, you're fine. And I'm sure that's what you guys do as well when you help people discover their power. The power of the speech, the power of their stories is very similar in the sense that you have something here, you just haven't found the conduit, want to let it out and then find the system to amplify it. And this is what you guys do with that voice. So you do it vocally, I do it visually well.

And tell us the Ford story. So Ford Sakes, those of you know, Ford sakes, hall of fame speaker, he was at one of our events and had his pictures taken with you. And what, he came with a list of what he needed or something?

Yeah, he already knew exactly what he needed. So he's going to tell me. Okay, we're doing this, this, that, that, that, that. The other. I let him talk because I'm always. I'm always listening. Okay, that's great. So let me tell you what I know about you. And I opened his soul and told him, this is what I see. And you're gonna sit and we're gonna bring that out. He put his list away and he himself will tell you better the story from the receiving end. But in a nutshell, that's what it was. I said, that's all the stuff that you believe you're supposed to show. That's the stuff you believe you're supposed to be. What is. And it's not A judgment of good or bad. That's what I talk about. The safety, the landing pad. It's not a judgment, it's an observation. In fact, funnily, I'll say someone around you look great and say, oh, thank you. I said it wasn't a compliment, it was an observation. This is what you have and this is what it is. So with Ford, he'll tell the story of how he just ripped the list away, throw it away. And he loved the outcome because it's not about what you plan on doing, it's what happens in the moment and you show up.

And he said that was his favorite picture, right?

Correct.

Nice.

I think he's still using it. I've not, I don't, I don't follow people much, but I believe it's still, last I checked, it was still using it.

Thank you, Jerry. Now, I know as presenters, we're often told you've got to get your marketing materials right. You know, I work with a couple of different National Speakers association speaker academies, and they're told to get your one sheet, to get your headshot, to get your bio, to get all of these things. And the headshot piece becomes very critical. In my chapter in Georgia, we have an Academy showcase and they come dressed, they get makeup on, we get a stage with lights and backdrop, a beautiful studio, and they get three camera shoot video of their presentation. But the headshot piece is always critical and people get really worked up about a headshot. They want to look good, they want to take 10 years off their. Off their image. What advice would you give to these presenters who are doing their new press kit or they're brand new or they're going to do a new headshot, who get kind of hung up on all the details about what the headshot should look like. How do you guide them?

The first thing I would say, call me, I'll take care of you. Coach wise, the first thing I would say, but secondly, the truth is, is to remind, to remind people to be who they are. And that's the toughest thing for actors, is the same problem. Acting as a character is always easy, especially overacting. William Shatner made a career of overacting. So if you want to make somebody, if you watch somebody cry, to do, oh, my God, this is terrible. That's easy. The overacting is so easy. Underplaying. To play something, to play this average person having a vulnerable moment, keyword, vulnerable moment, with someone across the table from them, but not by your definition, in that moment, because it's like A dancer can. A street dancer. You put the music on, they can improvise. And I say, okay, that's great. Going to do that in this frame. And a 5, 6, 7, 8. And do it now. You have to control it, maintain it. What you have naturally, you have to now hone it and make it, replicate it in a frame that is not your natural frame of reference. And that's where people get into trouble. What I do is coach people to, no matter the size of the frame, still be the same you. That's the challenge for people. It is also a challenge because for the moment when you're yay high, what do people say? Okay, stop what you're doing. Come here, come here, come here. We're taking pictures. Okay, clean yourself up. And the kid's like, oh, stop it. I want to play. Stop what you're doing now. Say cheese. And the kid's like, I'm upset. You better wipe that off your face. You're trying to make the kid, who's not miserable, who's upset, put on a fake smile. So most of our lives, the moment a lens is pointing at us, we become fake. We try to give something that we believe we're supposed to give. We try to give a smile. We try to be something when in fact, two minutes before, you were talking to your friends and were naturally laughing, naturally engaged, and suddenly. Okay. Have you ever been at an event where you see people talking and they're doing great, and some of the photographer for the event comes and goes like this, and they were going to take a picture of them just interacting. They see the camera and they go, something. Yeah. Don't ever do that again. Mark Brown, don't you ever do that.

And we're on video, too. That's terrible.

I know. I shouldn't do that to that fish. No, no. And so what happens is, people, the moment people see a camera, they often forget who they are. When it becomes something else, they pretend. Exactly. And suddenly they forget. Like, I'll tell somebody, cross your arms. I don't want to cross my arms. I'm like, you've crossed your arms before. Just cross your arms. You'll have this notion there's got to be a photographic way of living. There's no photography of living. It's just living. So the long. That's the long way. To answer your question, just live. When the lens coming at you, even though you're going to be. I'm going to do a shoot. You're not getting shot. You're not going to die. Just Live.

So if you're coming to Game Changers, we're going to have Jerry there joining us. Reach out ahead of time, see if we can pick a slot for you, because he's going to be. He's going to be working on the side. So if you're coming to Game Changers, reach out to us, and it will definitely be worth your time, Jerry. Mark will sign up.

My hand is raised already, so I'll do that. We can't do Thai food this time, Jerry. I don't. We can't do our Thai dinner this time around. We'll see. I don't know.

We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

Hey, if nothing else, Uber Eats. We didn't have Uber eats before.

There you go.

Now go to the Thai food. Let the Thai food come to you.

And coconut juice with it with the pulp in it, right? Coconut water. There you go. Come on now, inside joke friends. Jerry, one more thought for you. A question for you regarding the whole process of. Of the value of the headshot. In your experience, particularly with people who are in public eye, speakers, trainers, actors, and so on, do we place too much value on the perfect headshot? And I ask because you always have us goof around and do silly stuff as well as the formal headshot. How can we relax more because we want to get that shot? Is there a way to sort of breathe or think or what we look at lens you. How do you make us feel more comfortable in the moment? One tip for us.

So the first thing is to redefine the perfect headshot. What is a perfect headshot? And so when we have to decide it, we mess it up. So it's how you feel about yourself, how people feel about you, how you show up based on that belief, and how people perceive you as you show up. All this combined makes it so oftentimes in a session, I will tell the person who's insecure, I say, do you realize that the entire universe, not just this planet, our solar system, our galaxy, across the entire universe, potential of trillions of potential living beings, only one person sees you the way you see yourself. You. So if everyone sees you as okay, who are you to believe that they're all idiots? You're the only one who truly knows. I look terrible. You look fine. And from this notion, we're constantly self critical and we project that, they say, no, I'm not this one. And we feel we have to get that perfect thing. I will ask someone, if I'm shooting a magazine cover, how many shots do you think I'll take. And I'm talking full session with the hair and the makeup, the full production. So we've had the best clothes, the best hair, makeup people, the best lighting, the best of everything. And in spite of that. And we're talking about a model who's picked out of hundreds. They'll sold maybe 10. How about 300? Use one photo for that cover. You could mess up at least 200 times. But the key is. And the same. I'm sure you confront the same issue with. When you're coaching your clients, the biggest challenge is to dare to try. And your concern is you're going to fail. I say you didn't fail. It was a fall, not a fail. What happens in the fall, you get back up a fail. You may die, but you're not gonna die. You're fine. And in that notion of that perspective, you're the only one who sees yourself that way. We typically, because that's human condition, we hold on to negativity much quicker than positivity all day long. Right?

Stay positive. I love it. Stay positive.

So it's about that. I don't. But I hate myself. Why everybody else loves you. Why would you. And so to embrace whatever is. Because the fact is that face you have is the only one you have. Make the best of it in that moment. Bring the joy from. Find the joy somewhere, whether it's in the reflection of someone else's eyes that's across from you, whether or. And then you inject that in the side of your brain and carry that mirror around that. You know what? I'm okay. I do look fine. Because typically what people do in a photo, they go like this. Question marks in their head. And the key is to eliminate those question marks because you don't. When you walk in the store, you don't. When you walk. When you go and see your kids, when you see a loved one, you don't go, oh, I'm looking. Okay, before I hug this person. You don't do all that.

Love it, love it, love it. Thanks so much.

So what would you recommend? So if you can and you're listening to this. Hey, join us for Game Changers. Sign up for a session with Jerry. If not, go to Jerry Mattelis. M E T E l l u s.com Jerry with a jerrymetallis.com Check him out. For those of you watching the YouTube version, I'll kind of show you the amazing pictures. I mean just the pictures on your site that. Wow, pretty. Pretty amazing.

So check.

You know Fly to Vegas, do a session with him. I've done several sessions with him. He's got an amazing studio here in Vegas. But let's say they can't, or they're trying to find someone local because they're cheap and don't want to get on a plane. But let's just say, what advice do you have for finding the right photographer? Because there's so many out there. I'll just get a wedding photographer. They know how to snap a picture. Actually, first talk about, you said something brilliant to me, that, hey, with iPhones now everyone can take an amazing picture.

However, well, is your soul showing? Because part of the issue is the picture telling your story. That's the bottom line. So you could. So technically speaking, you took a click and you got the picture right. You're so focused on looking at yourself. This one's decent, but you're missing all the elements. There's a dog peeing on a fire hydrant in the background. There's a branch from that tree behind you sticking out of your head. But you're so focused looking at yourself that you miss those details that other people will pick on. So there's a lot of distractions that take away from you. With this said, is it possible that someone can take a selfie or someone take a picture of them with their phone and it turns out, is it absolutely possible? But that's, you might as well come to Vegas and gamble, because if that picture is going to be representative of you, why should you just take such a chance? By going, you're bringing a party of guests, of notable guests to a restaurant if you've never been to before, just heard that the guy cooked for a friend of yours. You've never tasted their food, you never tried anything. You take a risk bringing some of your most important clients to that restaurant. That's a high risk. It could work out. It could be a disaster. So the idea is the decision you make and the purpose of your photo, if your photo is going to be your ambassador. And in this day and since COVID one thing we, we've, we've came to understand more. Look at what we're doing now. You know, six, seven years ago, this would not have been common. Zoom through and visual communication from across the world is, is a do is very much the thing. Some people don't like to be on camera. Sometimes they're busy doing other things. Even though they're present in the conversation, they have a placeholder. And that placeholder is your ambassador is your representative. What do you want that placeholder to say about you. And so if it's not something strong and solid, you diminish your brand to a certain degree. And whether we like it or not, I have a conversation about how shallow we are. Right. And people perceive this as shallow. Said judging by looks is not shallow at all. It's natural. That's how we mate. That's how the animal kingdom proceeds. You make a decision looking at the animal across from you and you decide whether you're going to be friends or foe. Visual is a natural decision making process, but we somehow tend to believe while he went, that person went after that type of person. Well, that's what we're doing. The animal kingdom. If you're lying in the animal kingdom and you don't have a big mane and you don't have big shoulders, no female will come up to you. It's plain and simple. So you're in. So in the human kingdom, if you're out competing, you have to show up strong or you will never be an Alpha. It's not complicated. It's very basic. Either you want to be an alpha or you're not. But if you claim to be an Alpha, you have to come with all the quote unquote accoutrements that require to be an Alpha. And again, when you talk about photography, is it possible to get it from an iPhone? Absolutely. But the bottom line is whatever source you use, in however way you do it, you have to show up. It has to have quality and it has to represent you the way the trillions of other potential living beings see you, not just the way you see yourself. Bottom line.

Thank you so much, Jerry. Right.

My pleasure with Darren is so in essence, anyone can click, anyone can take a picture and go, hey, here's your photo. But who's the person that's going to bring something out of you and make you show up, make your brand that you carry inside your soul show up on the outside of you. That's the difference. That's. That's where I come in.

Yeah. And it's more challenging these days to grab someone's attention. They're looking at speakers, they're going through. You know, a speaker's bureau might send them four or five people. Well, they're trying to narrow it down to one as quickly as they can. So they're going to judge us right or wrong. They're going to judge us based on checking out our webpage for 13 seconds, if that. So we need to have that photo that helps them to engage the page. How do we get them to engage the page? And sometimes it's just that image and you can see a picture of someone, you're like, oh, they're cool, or I like them. And, and you don't even know why, but you have that ability to pull that out of people.

Absolutely. Let me bring back to a more finer answer to the question you asked. How do you pick your photographer? I see you pick your photographer the same way you pick your therapist. But most people just go, oh, therapist? I found it online, it's near my house. Boom. And they go, and in fact, you should interview your therapist to see if it's the right fit. They may not be the right person for you. Not all therapists are created equal. Not all photographers are created equal. My style may not be right for everyone and vice versa. And so you call the photographer, you get a sense for them, not just what pictures you could get from them. How comfortable are you just talking to them as a human being before the photographer, human behind the camera. If you can't connect with that person just in a conversation, how do you think you're going to connect to them the day of your shooting and not be, oh, gosh, I wish, I wish I wasn't here. I'm not feeling this. And that's your photo.

That's a great, great advice. Yeah, you got to feel the connection and like them before you even choose them.

That applies to everything, everything you do.

So mark any final questions as we wrap this up?

Well, no, I'm just getting my notes here to give back to what the wisdom Jerry has given to us.

Oh, snap.

Jerry, if you're watching this, jerrymettelis.com J E R R Y M E T E l l u s.com you got to just go check out his site. Just, just check out his work, please. We are fans of him. We're thrilled that we're going to be able to bring you back this year. Glad it's working out because we have so many people come up to us and say, he's amazing. Because you take the time to connect with them, to go into them. It's not just like you said, it's not just point and click. Here's your headshot. It's like pulling is easy.

The 15 minutes we talk before we take the first photo is where the time goes. With 20 minute session, the taking pictures may be 5 minutes. Breaking down the connection and building that bridge to everything flows. That's, that's the critical part. And just a quick note, the easiest way for people to remember how to spell my name. Three words put together. Me tell us.

There you go. Boom.

If you went to school, you know how to spell those three words. You can know how to spell my name.

Are you on any of those social media platforms? They could follow you.

They all the same. Jerry Mattelis, across the board.

Sweet. So, Mark Brown, what do you got?

Well, a few ideas for us. One, I'm gonna go backwards. Interview potential photographers. Get the right fit, right advice to us as he does. Hone your craft.

Be good at what you do.

You wanna amplify what already exists. And don't be trapped in an image of what you think you are supposed to be. Remember who you are and don't become fake in front of the glens. Right, Jerry?

Correct, sir. Hit it again.

Geez. Today, positive. And find the joy during a photo shoot. Find that joy of who you are because your picture tells a story and your photo is your ambassador in your place. Show up strong for every photo shoot. Get quality photos and bring your full essence. And let your brand show up every time you stand in front of the lens. That's wisdom, brother.

Thank you for that. Thank you gentlemen. It was a pleasure.

So if you want to be unforgettable, photos matter, especially this day and age. Sometimes we think, oh, well, I need video. Well, yeah, you do. But that photo is so important. It's one of the things that event planners, one of the first things they ask for, send us a headshot. Well, that headshot also decides, let's just say you're doing a breakout session. Well, there's five people when you got your titles, but the headshot actually has some influence on who who comes to your session. So make no mistake, it's important. It's critical to your career. Don't take it lightly and join us at Game Changers 2025 if you can, in April. Jerry Mattelis, thanks for being here. You rock.

Thank you for having me.

We get cooler just by having you around.

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