Ep. 40 The Keys to Your Unforgettable TED Talk

Hey there, Mark Brown. Everybody's talking. Ted. Tedx has exploded. People are giving unbelievable tedx talks. And some they're pretty good, but some are amazing. You would even say unforgettable. But one of the little secrets is a lot of the TEDx events each have coaches that help the TEDx features.

Mark, I tell you, I know about the red dot to stay in the red dot, but I realized, yeah. That many presenters now get their start doing TEDx and TED programs, and it's pretty phenomenal. And I'm always wondering, what do these TEDx coaches tell these people? How do they help them? And how can they help them to become unforgettable?

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

All right, Mark, you know that this isn't actually our specialty, so we brought in a couple experts.

Yeah. And the cool thing is I know one of them is a part of the faculty at Stagetown University, and he's been a client of ours, but he's become so good at what he does, he now helps other people as a TedX coach. So I'm really thrilled to have with us today Mike Davis from our Faculty, who's a TEDx coach with really, really great results. And he's not alone. We're gonna double team. I want you to introduce our second TEDx coach today, Darren.

Oh, my gosh. She's a triple threat. She's given a TED Talk. She is an event volunteer. She helps coordinate it, and she's an incredible TEDx coach, and she's got clients like Nike and all over the world. She's, like, amazing. She's a phenomenal coach. In fact, we talked about her last week in the other episode, how she jacked my brand up. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kath. Welcome, Kathy.

Thank you. Hi, guys. Good to see you.

How you doing, Mike?

I'm doing well, Mark. A thrill to be with three of my mentors.

Oh, wow. Glad you're here. Nice. So, Kathy, I want to start with your background because you're the reason, like, TEDx is even on my radar screen, because I remember having you were on one of Our calls and we interviewed you and I was like, hey, wait a minute. You're a coach, you're an event coordinator. You help choose who comes in and you've given a TED Talk. You're the triple threat.

Threat.

But when I found out how you studied TED Talks, oh my gosh, tell us about that and what you learned.

Oh, gosh, yeah, I had a goal to watch a thousand TED Talks. I was like, I gotta watch a thousand TED Talks. When you watch a thousand of anything, you see the good, the bad, the ugly. But you also find those one little pearls, the unforgettable ones. Right. And those are the ones you really pay close attention to and you kind of reverse engineers. So it was kind of my mission to kind of get into that space first and to figure out what people were doing really, really well.

I'm curious though, Kathy, is there one particular thing you learned that really stood out that told you, aha. This is, if not the key, this is a key to being successful on the TEDx or TED stage.

Yeah, I think if you really boiled it down to the number one thing, it would definitely be about having a unique idea mantra of ideas worth spreading. They really, really stick to that. So they try really hard on both the TED Global stage and on the local TEDx stages to say, hey, we don't want great speakers necessarily. We're not looking for the best speakers. We're looking for people that have really, really good ideas. So even great speakers or people, everyday people that are just doing great things, we have to take whatever they're doing and form it up into this great idea and share that idea with the world. So if there was anything, it would.

Be that, hey, Darren keeper, number one, it's not about the speaker, it's about the idea.

I like that.

I also love that they're 18 minutes, so you can actually listen to a bad one the whole way through. But what's amazing is to have an amazing one that you get the idea across, you get the point, and it's like, peace out. And it's like bam. So it almost makes it doubly effective because it's delivered in such a strategic way in such a short amount of time.

You get an 18 minute one that you love, though, I promise you, you're going to spend the next four hours doing research on whatever it was that you saw.

Well, the thing is, if the idea can make you think and do more research, then boom. That's two points to you. Thanks, Kathy, I appreciate that. I'm going to turn to Mike for a second. Because Mike, I think, has taken a different path. You know, we know and love. Mike M is the emcee for our events. Mike Host calls for our university every single week, so his journey is different. I'm not sure our audience even knows this side of Mike. So in a nutshell, what's the Mike Davis story and how did you come to be a TedX coach?

I'm here because 18 years ago, I helped Darren and David Brooks when they were doing their national tour when Darren was the reigning world champion. And I was so taken by Darren's style that I called him up a few days later and I said, would you be willing to coach me? And he enthusiastically said, maybe. I said, what do you mean maybe? He said, there's this book I want you to read, and it was called Stand Up Comedy. The book, and my first thought was, I don't want to study comedy. That's not what I want to do. But then I remembered a story he told about his mentor who one night told him, I noticed how good you really take into this comedy thing and how hard you're working. And anytime I headline, I'll give you five minutes. But if you ever turn me down, I will never help you again. And for some reason, that story popped into my head right before I told Darren I didn't want to be a comedian. I said, sure, I'll buy the book. Caught him up a week later, had a little chit chat, and I said, well, what's next? He said, what do you mean, what's next? I said, what's next? I read the book. You did? I said, yeah, you told me to. He said, mike, nobody's ever bought the book and read it before. I guess I'm stuck with you.

He passed Darryl McCoy.

And 18 years later, yes, my friend, you're stuck with me. The way I got into TEDx was literally five years ago. I wasn't familiar with it. My partner Linda said, you know, you should check this out. So I went to a TEDx audition here in Cincinnati. It was in the middle of January. It was cold, ice on the ground, snow everywhere. I was cursing the day I'd heard of TedX walking to this event. I walked up to the event planner once I got there and I said, I'm a coach. Don't know if it could be of any help. And she said, I need you. That's quite a vetting process.

What did your partner say when she went?

What did your partner say in response to that? Lady said, I need you now. I'M just messing with you.

She got it. She's like, hey, whatever it takes. And it was from there I started. And immediately the first year, I just fell in love with the whole concept. And I got very lucky the first year I got to work with three people. One was a Supreme Court judge out of Michigan, the first blind Supreme Court judge out of Michigan, and an NFL hall of Fame player named Anthony Munoz, who's like an icon in our town. So from there, and I just got excited about it. And all kidding aside, when I met Kathy, I thought about watching a thousand speeches since she'd done it. I said, but no, Kathy has been a real ment to me from a distance. Just studying the work that she's put into her course that she created. It saved me probably five years of learning just to follow what she had done, and it helped me tremendously. And it's been a great ride, and I look forward to it. I actually got my first TED Talk this year, which has now been postponed a year thanks to that little virus going around.

Yeah, we adjust. We adjust.

So, Kathy, tell us how you ended up getting into being a part of the event, giving your TEDx talk and coaching. Because I know you've coached some superstar celebrities as well.

Yeah, well, first, I think I should close the loop. Darren was the one that forced me to create the how to Rock a TED Talk program.

Yes.

He's like, why do you have all this knowledge and nobody can access it? Create a program. So it took me nine months, and I bird that fricking product. So there you go. How to Rock a TED Talk. Yeah. You know, I started my company as a marketing company, and I. I created a video series that went viral, and one of my clients wanted to do the same. And he was a video production company, and so I had some marketing ideas for him. And then he ended up creating this video that went viral. He got asked to give a TED Talk, and he was like, oh, my gosh, Kathy, I just said yes to giving a TED Talk. And I said I would do a new video, and all of that's in 51 days. Oh, my God, help me. And I was like, help you? I can't just help you speak. And in my mind, when you're a speaker, you're like, that's very incestuous to be helping another speaker speak. And so I was like, okay, I'll do my best. And I ended up coaching him to give a TED Talk. And it was kind of a unique situation. It was him and his business partner, and they were also showing off some new equipment in their realm. And so it was coaching two people. And he ended up getting this like eight minute standing ovation, which was mostly due to the video. I mean this video was outstanding. Still going viral today, years, years later. But anyway, he gave this TED Talk and I really had thought about, well, what's the difference between a TED Talk and a normal presentation? And it really became clear in my mind there was a clear segmented difference. And so I really started studying it. And then of course I coached a World War II veteran who was 91 at the time. And that was interesting. And then a rap star I coached. I mean I've had a whole array of people I've coached and everybody comes in with their little, you know, their little view on life. The rap star was like, that guy could write lyrics like no other. We would get done with a session and he'd come back with this beautifully scripted talk. And I'd go, ah, tone it down a little bit. You know, we need this to be more of a talk. The World War II veteran would come and be like, Kathy, I've spoken to media. I've been the Oregon game commissioner under four governors. I know how to do this. Anyway, being a coach, I think, and all of us would know this. But being a coach is more than just knowing the things that you should know and knowing that not everybody needs to know everything that you know. It's like taking that person and making them the best that they can be and drawing out of them what the world needs to hear. So I always have to start there, no matter who the person is.

Really quickly. You said the challenge of having someone. I've done this, I've done that. I know what I'm doing. I've spoken before. I'm more spitball bars, yo. I can't believe I just said that.

He said, I'm gonna spit yard bars, yo.

But it brought to mind a Darrenism and it seems that these eventually they became quite coachable. And Darren often says, if you're not coachable, there is no cure. So part of the process is having to having someone who may seem less coachable. But you said getting them to be who they are, finding their story and getting them to bring that out. And I can see Mike is nodding his head almost vigorously at this idea. And Mike, help me out here. If you could identify. And Darren, don't forget your question, my friend. But Mike, if you could identify one particular difference between what we call the average talk or the Toastmasters talk or the rubber Chicken Rotary Talk and the TED Talk. Is there one particular difference in mechanics and how it's delivered that you could point out or share with people who are curious about TEDx talks?

Yes, and it's really a follow up to what Kathy said. When I start to work with somebody, I see that they get in speaker mode and they want to be motivational. And it's like, no, no, no. TED is not about motivation. That's why we have Toastmasters and that's why we've got the National Speakers Association. And there's nothing wrong with motivation, but it takes away from the idea is just. And I know we preach this all the time at stage time, and I know Kathy does too. Be conversational. There's a reason that red dot's there, I think, to chain us to that spot. So it forces us to be more, have the energy come through the message and not so much acting on stage. So that, by far is the biggest challenge is to get them out of speaker motivation mode and just talk with us.

Mark, here's my favorite thing. Watching Kathy smile and smirk. She's like, like, someday you will steal the pebble from my hand. Young one.

No, Mike, you're so right. I couldn't have said it any better.

You probably did in your program that he listened to a gazillion times.

Every good speaker just takes great ideas and repackages them. Right?

So true.

Nice. But I want to ask both of you, who are your favorite TED Talks? Like, what are the favorite TED Talks that you go. That one reached me. So what were your favorite TED Talks, and why do you think that was? Let's start with Mike.

I have three. The first one, the one that touched me the most, is a guest that you had on one of your first two podcasts, Xia Jeng. I just was so inspired by the fact that he took this challenge that most people have, that being afraid of taking chances and being willing to be rejected. And it was hysterical. I sat next to you in Denver, Darren, while we watched Josh speak at the Golden Gavel for Toastmasters. He's just such a great kid. He's so likable. And that just shines through talking about being conversational. The second one is probably the granddaddy of them all, Sir Ken. Sir Ken Robinson, who I think still has the most views ever for a TED Talk. It was hysterically funny, but underneath it was this message that schools are killing creativity. And that resonates with me as the son of a teacher and a parent who's had kids go through school. And the third was James Veitch who talked about spam email, which was again, drop roll in the aisle is funny. But he tapped into a common frustration we all have. So they all had humor, but underneath it was a powerful, memorable message. Cool.

Thank you, Kathy.

Gosh, mine changes all the time. I binge watch TED Talks like no other mother. It's crazy. The other day somebody sent me one and said, oh, you have to watch this TED Talk. And I just kept following, you know, YouTube thinks it knows me. And so none of these TED talks seem to be related to each other, but it's like, oh, I think this one will be yours, Kathy. If I go back to my og, if I go back to some of the ones that I love from the beginning. Dan Pallotta has a great one. Why what we think about charity is dead wrong. And this is a great example of a good technical talk taking a talk and making an idea very technical, saying hey, everybody thinks about charity in one way and the way charities run charities is wrong. It's like backwards. Treat it like a business, make money with it. And so he kind of rips that apart and shows you in an 18 minute talk, he, he makes you sit there and you're like, yeah, oh my gosh, we need to do better. That is ultimately what you want right from a TED Talk is for people to really get behind it. I love Tim Urban's TED Talk on procrastination. It's frickin hilarious. Adam Grant had one as well. They're both really good. Those ones are great. And recently I just watched one. I think that's very apropos of what's really needed in the world. But, but there was a guy who gave a talk about the title of his TEDx talk, which was really long, but it was I am a black man who went to KKK rallies. Have you seen that mark parts of.

It, that whole thing.

So good. And again, if you look at how he presented in an idea and a perspective in a way that nobody else is doing right now. And so his perspective was so good that he believed befriended like the head of the KK in his area and then ultimately just he show up at the rallies and he became friends with them. And ultimately his idea was just if you show somebody, somebody genuine true respect and you treat them like a human, they're going to treat you that way back. He has now collected over 200 KKK uniforms because every time somebody leaves the KKK, they give, they give it, they give him their uniform. Incredible talk. It's so good. So it's Darrell something. I just saw it the other day and again it's like taking something and to be able to look at an idea through a perspective that we're not used to seeing I think is what makes something really, really good.

That's powerful. I can almost see some listeners now go to their laptop Black man kkk and they want to check that out. Now I want to ask a question regarding peoples impressions and maybe preconceived ideas about what a TED Talk is all about. I've heard people say, well you know ToastMasters, you're doing 7 minutes and Ted you got to do 18, but I only have 13, I gotta go find 5 more minutes. Is the TedX environment really that strident? And that's Kathy, you're talking. I can see you dying here. Kathy, please respond to that for me. Come on.

I have to choke myself. Well, me being a member Toastmasters and NSA and being a TED organizer, I feel like I'm across the whole spectrum. Well, first of all, the first thing I have to address is that being a TED, TED organizer, TEDx organizer, the number one thing that you can say to get yourself off of a TED stage is I'm a professional speaker or I'm a Toastmaster or I belong to NSA or I have a book that I want to tell you know, I think the whole world needs to hear about. That's like, it's like, like shooting yourself in the foot. So again, they're looking for good and unique ideas. They're not looking for somebody that's trying to use TED to create their own platform. I mean, if you think about it, if ted's looking for really, really good ideas, you have to start there. And it does not matter, it doesn't matter. Your speaking ability. I've literally coached people. Somebody I coached two years ago, she is a judge and so she spends a lot of time speaking, but not as a speaker. But her idea was so good she came into the country illegally and then she became the first Latinx woman judge in Oregon and she gave an amazing talk and her whole idea was played out really well. But it takes a long time to actually create that idea. And some people aren't willing to put in the time like Toastmasters or professional speakers. They're like, I'm already a good speaker or I already have really good ideas. But on average, I would say the average person giving a TED Talk spends about probably six to eight of their weeks preparing just the idea before they even write any of their talk. Just Going is this really holding this idea up? And you can tell the people that are in the top 10 that have the top 10 most watched TED talks, they'll tell you, Sir Ken Robinson, anybody that's in the top 10 will tell you not only did they spend a whole bunch of time like taking their idea and making it better, but they also practiced it a ton. So there's a lot to be learned. And some people just want to be lazy and just get on the stage.

It's ego. I bet ego is an issue.

I bet that's probably it. Darren, you said something that was really good too, that I think it's true. I know that you've said that. The problem in the professional speaking world is that either people start off and they're super unconfident and then they go to the other spectrum where they're like, cocky.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, no, but you're right. I think you need to live in the middle somewhere. And I think TED is the ground for that space.

And Kathy, you work with the organization in Portland, which is one of the biggest, or is it the biggest TEDx event in the country?

It's the largest TEDx event in the United States.

Wow.

And one of the largest in the world.

So by the way, going back to the NSA thing, there's some NSA speakers that they can't get their intro down to 18 minutes.

Oh, on the minute thing too, by the way, Ted, that's kind of the 18 minutes is a little bit now more of the old school thinking. They like to see. They like to now see, see 9 minute talks, 12 minute talk. So as the world is getting less and less of an attention span, so is Ted. 18 is like Max now. But we like. To your point, Mark, don't ever try to add. Don't ever try to add.

Now here come the Toastmasters. Oh, nine to ten. I could do that.

Well, they've been doing that in Cincinnati for years. Typically, I'm coaching six to eight minutes speeches and that's the time I was given. And that's where I tell people. That's one area where Toastmasters has been a great training ground. All the other things we learned that we got to forget for ted. But you know how to do a six to seven minute speech.

I'm going to start with you, Kathy, but then, Mike, I want you to follow up with the answer, the same question. So, Kathy, first of all, how long have you been working with TedX Portland?

Since 2009. Holy cow. What a long time? Yeah, 20, 19. So about 10 years. 10, 11 years.

And when you, you're part of the choosing process, how do you guys choose which ideas make it on the stage? Because we know, because you're the biggest and one of the most popular in the United States, you get everyone wanting to be on the big stage at 3,000 people instead of Pahrump, Nevada, where, where they're a brand new 100 person license. So how do you guys choose? How do you go through and say, you know, this one, this one?

Yeah, well, we're one of the few too that don't have, we don't have a speaker accepted. Like, we don't ask for submissions, so we actually go out and find our own. But what we do, and it sounds like it could be a little snotty, but it's not like, it's like, oh, you can't submit. But that's not the case. We really want to control, like, so we have a meeting with our entire team. We go, kind of lock ourselves up, you know, in a hotel space and meeting space and we sit around for two days and we go, what are some of the topics that we need to bring to the city of Portland? What? And we try to keep 90% of our talks relevant to Portland because that's what we're supposed to be doing in TEDx. And we have one big headliner that might come from out of town, but we want to keep the things that are really important to Portland. So we sit around and we say, what, what needs to be talked about right now. And then usually we go find who's doing that. For instance, one year we had a lady write us, email our executive producer and say, why are you guys not, why have you guys not covered sex trafficking? Portland's one of the worst places in the United States for it. And we were like, oh my God, she's right. And then we were like, but that's not the right person to be talking about it. Who is this lady? We found the foremost expert, one of the foremost experts on sex trafficking was a lady that ran an organization here in Portland. And we had her give a TED Talk. And when we asked her, she's like, oh my God, a TED Talk? Jesus, I don't know how I'm going to do that. That's the beauty of it too, I think, is when you find those people that are doing amazing work and you're like, hey, now, I just want to prep you to share that idea with the world. So that's our process.

You reverse Engineer it. You find the idea, and then the best source to bring the idea forward. That's. That's pretty cool.

And then coach the hell out of the speaker.

So what's your process, Mike, for selection?

Well, I have been on the nominating committee a couple of times, and they'll do open tryouts and what they're looking for. And I love our curator, Jamie. She's just. She's looking for things that are different. And the second year I coached a guy is an example of what we look for. A guy goes up there and he starts reading this letter, and it's a breakup letter. And when he gets to the end, there's a major twist. And the twist is he's breaking up with pornography. And he talks about being. This journey of being addicted to pornography. Fortunately, I got assigned to work with him because he was chosen as one of the speakers. And I was just looking. Before we got on today, his videos had 2.56 million hits because of this unique idea to a fairly common problem, apparently. But it was a breakup letter, and it was just like, so different. So. Yes, and I know, Kathy, you do a lot more of that than I do in my position. I do more of the coaching that they're assigned to me, but it is cliche. But it is something that's just such a unique twist on an old idea, and that's a big part. But, yeah, we go through tryouts, and now they've done video submissions, and they get down to, I think 30 people are brought into a room in one day and have three minutes to do a talk to see if they'll qualify to get on the stage.

Wow, Mike, you know, you said something that I really want to highlight. That's amazing. There's no idea out there that's not good enough to be talked about again and again and again. But you really highlighted it. That it. Finding a new. So the way that you talked about this guy, he had a unique way of speaking about this. So that's. I really love that. That's really good.

Yeah.

And I'm going to toss this again to both of you. Mike, let me start with you. Okay, so you select your speakers, your. Excuse me. Your TED Talkers, and what as a coach now? So the event planner. Here's the one. Mike, you're assigned to this person. What's step one with working with someone? And then, Kathy, have you follow up on.

Oh, this is a great question, Darren, because this is an issue we had in Cincinnati until last year. They would assign us the speakers and I would start coaching and then find out halfway through the process. That's not what the organizer expected. So it is. Go back to square one and talk with the organizers and I'll say, Jamie, what do you expect this talk to be about? Because, and I don't know if this has been your experience. Kathy. The speakers come in with this idea of I want to tell them this and I've got all this I want to share. It's like, no, that's not what we auditioned for. That is square one. Darren is making sure everybody's on the same page about the final message that's getting out there.

That's good stuff.

Seems obvious, but it's not. At least not in our case.

Kathy.

Yeah Mike, that's many times an issue. Our organizers the same, except we are open to. I have found that I've never coached. I can't think of any speaker that I've ever coached that their idea ended up being the same that they went and stood on the final stage with that they started with. And so our organizers are also open to the discovery processes. When we start to coach, something else will come up. And you know, I do a specific like storytelling and idea generating session. And so things come up in that session that I don't think were prevalent to anybody before. So it's like new information. So it's like being at a trial and like wait, we have new information and so we're all in that space of being open to finding the best idea. But again you're right not allowing this space of a whole bunch of other things to come up. But we're open to saying, okay, well we originally had you come on because of this but holy cow, this, this is a new angle that we like. So that's why I say the six to eight weeks. Darren, I know that you know this from me, my coaching style. I do. I feel like I do things backwards. Like everything I've ever done in my life is backwards. But where many people will put pen to paper and start writing. I don't a. I don't ever let any of my speakers write a speech ever. They're not speeches, they're talks. They're conversations. I don't let them even start that until we've really nailed the idea. And that takes about spending six to eight weeks and I mean really nail it. Not just like this is what I'm going to talk about but really to run through it and say how would you support this? What evidence would you use to support this? What would be a catchphrase like, how are you going to open this? What's going to be the code? Like, really, let's talk through that whole thing before even going to the next stage.

I love that's what you do in Portland, Kathy, because we have a much shorter timeframe here in Cincinnati. But my own experience this year when I went to the tryout, even though I'm a coach, they made me try out, I went in there talking about storytelling because they know that's my area of expertise. And we got through it and I was working with the lead coach and we talked and talked just like what you're talking about, Kathy. And she said, you know what? We're tired of hearing about stories. What else can we talk about? And I shared the story about being on a. Standing on a desk in first grade and being humiliated and, and it kept me from speaking or being in front of groups for 25 years. And she said, that's it. Let's talk about why people are afraid of speaking. A unique story about a very common problem. We had to go through that process where she finally said, I don't want to hear about storytelling. Okay, what do we do?

And you're a pro, Mike, so you got to that quick. So you got to the juicy story quick. It's not always the case for everybody, but yeah, yeah.

Mark, Curious. Is there a process for selecting coaches that. That's one aspect of the TEDx experience I don't think I hear very much about. Can you give us any insight, any ideas about how that would work?

Mike? I don't know if you guys do this in Cincinnati, but we have a whole team of coaches. And so what we try to do after we select is we try to find the people that would fit the people. Right. And sometimes it's not like they're the same type of personality. Sometimes it's like, oh, this speaker really needs somebody to teach them really good storytelling tactics or techniques. Or this person really is going to be afraid of standing on the stage. So they need somebody who wants to get really. That really one of the coaches that really loves to dive into the technical pieces. So we really try to do our best to give the best to the speaker. And I feel like we're asking a lot. Our timeframe is pretty far. We look three to six months out. Three months is minimum. By the time we have somebody stand on the stage. We've expected so much from them. And we're asking them to stand in front of 3,000 plus people. Lights flooded on them. You know, this professional venue it's kind of scary if you're not used to it. It's really, really scary. So we have, we feel like it's, we have to, to do our best to prepare them to be for that moment. And that moment's a legacy piece. I mean, we know that when they give that TED Talk, their TED Talk is going to be out there forever. So this is not something that they can do, some little podcast or something and it ends up buried somewhere. No, it's going to be front and center for the rest of their lives if somebody types their name in. So we try to give the best.

Well, as a coach, if you just go to an event and tell the planner what you do, an attractive woman will say, I need you.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

But you know, it's interesting they've had a hard time finding them here and I've actually referred some of my fellow world class speaking coaches through Craig Valentine and that's worked out extremely well.

Okay, Kathy, you mentioned you know, gonna be three months out or more. I'm curious for both Cincinnati and in Portland, what is the frequency of events in your locations? And I'll start with Mike and have Kathy end to second. How frequently do you have events in your part of the world?

Well, up through last year, Mark, we had our main stage event in May and then did a Cincinnati TEDx Women in November, which was a huge hit. And this year the plan was to start doing more what they call salon events because they had so many submissions. So in the future we'll have the two events, the main stage and the Cincinnati Women, about six months apart. And they're going to do mini events throughout the year.

So the mini events are the salon events.

Yep. They're not even doing try just submit, maybe do have five speakers show up around a topic, a specific topic.

Oh, so you leave the topic and we try to fit it? Yeah, I was going to ask the process because I'm sure there are people who will hear this who say TEDx salon event. How does that work? Can I get in on the action? So thank you for clarifying that. And Kathy, for you, how frequently do you have events in Oregon?

We do kind of same, same but different. We have the salon events as well. Salon events. Just for anybody listening though. Salon events do not end up on the website. They don't get recorded. It's more of a little town hall feel where you just have like 100 or so people and it's just more of a really informal kind of thing. We do that a Couple times a year. Sometimes we use that as our kind of breeding ground. Is like this idea going to do well here? If it does well, we'll put it on our main stage. We only do our main event once a year and it's because the minute our event ends we rest for a week and then we start up again. So our event is so highly produced and it's so big, we're kind of doing it all year round. We're really good about helping other TEDx's in our local area. Like we really team up with TEDxSeattle TEDx bend, there's a TEDxmount hood around here and so we try to do our best to help with our resources and coaches and sharing and knowledge sharing and whatnot. So we stay connected as much as we can. But as far as our main event, we just do one and it's once a year.

Cool. Thank you Darren.

Kathy, you have a great story about your World War II veteran and that whole experience. You gotta tell that like you can't be on a putt about TedX and not tell his story. Come on.

Well, you know Darren, you know about Frank Moore, he's about to turn 97. He's gonna turn 97 this coming January. So he's still around and doing great. I coached him back when he was 91 and as I kind of alluded to before, he's a stubborn guy, he's a strong dude.

That's why they paired you up with him.

I think they paired me up with them on purpose. They were like, oh, we're gonna put two really strong personalities. And he quit on me twice. Like I had to talk him off the ledge twice.

And before you go further, why do you think he was quitting? Like what was it? Cause I think some people don't get the work that is required to make an unforgettable TEDx talk.

He felt, yeah that's a good point Darren. He felt that he's given so many talks, he's been on tv, he's been, he's dealt with reporters, he's done media, he's spoken legislative scenarios. He just thought he could stand up and give an 18 minute talk in his sleep. And we really had to convince him that this was the talk of a lifetime. This was a legacy piece. This was worth really diving into. What would you want the world to know from your life? We were going to sum your life up, which is really difficult. 91 years of living, this guy lived. This guy knew people. The Hemingway's used to come to his bed and breakfast, like the Disney's came and visited. I mean, his life. You walk into his log cabin, you're like, you know all these people. I'm in the advertising world. I saw a picture of Hal Reiney. I'm like, you knew Hal Riny? Like, what is this? So, you know, he's lived this life and he just wanted to go give an impromptu speech for 18 minutes. But I tricked him, you guys, I tricked him. I had a little notebook and I talked to him for six months. Because I worked with him for six months, I did a little bit longer. I narrowed him down to an idea and he didn't know about it. And we just kept talking about that idea. And then every week when I would talk to him, I would just keep asking him the same questions to make him say that same idea. So he pretty much. He internalized that talk prior to standing on the stage. But after the talk was over, there's that famous picture where he's kissing me on the cheek. And he actually said to me on the stage, he said, he used to call me dear girl, which was so cute. He said, thank you, dear girl. I now truly understand what a TED Talk is. And so he was grateful after the fact, he understood what that meant.

That's right. I'm grateful after the fact because Mark put up with me and nurture me through it.

If you're not coachable, there is no. There is no cure.

I love that we can all say it, right?

Mike, any great stories from your experience?

Yeah, I mentioned an NFL hall of Famer named Anthony Munoz. I mean, literally one of the greatest football players in history. And when they assigned him to me, I had to first get past the fanboy thing because I'm a huge Cincinnati Bengal fan. No comments from. From you, Darren. And I thought, how am I going to take this guy? He's not just in our city as a football player. He's huge in the community. He's just got this stellar reputation. How am I going to humanize him to this group of people? And when we sat down, got through the whole fanboy thing, and I said, well, what do you want to talk about? And he looked at me and he said, I want to talk about you got a move forward with what you got. Okay, that's pretty cool. Where'd you learn that? And he thought for the longest time, he said, you know, it was my baseball coach in high school. He had. He was a great coach. And he started to tell me about him, and I stopped him forgetting that he was An NFL lineman, and he could have put me on the floor. I said, that's not where you learned it. He said, well, what do you mean? I said, he reinforced it. Where did you learn it? And he thought about it and he said, it was my mom. He said, michael, I'm one of five kids, grew up in east la, very rough part of town, father wasn't around. And my mom taught us that we ain't got much kids. And if you wear the knees out in your jeans, you got to go down to Walmart and get a patch and iron it on and sew it on, because these things have to last. Make do with what we have, move forward with what you've got. And as soon as he said that, I said, there's the story. It's a boy and his mom, right? And it had nothing to do with the NFL, the hall of Fame. That was his human story. And it was so great because in the middle of his speech, he was telling about being in the University of Southern California when he had had his third knee surgery in four years. And everybody was telling him, you're done. Your pro aspirations are gone. And he literally got choked up. And he got his biggest ovation of the talk right there, because he wasn't this big mountain of a man anymore. He was just like the rest of us, still friends with him today. It's a phenomenal experience.

You found the humanity, you found the story, behind the scene story, and that makes all the difference. Darren?

Yeah, Kathy, I remember you loving Brene Brown's talk. And that was just one of the big ones that made TedX and Ted, excuse me, Ted talks, what it was. That's one of the things that, when that went crazy viral, that's one of the things that. This whole riptide that made TEDx what it is. What do you think it was about that talk?

Yeah, I mean, if you look at Brene Brown, Simon Sinek had the same. Simon Sinek was actually even more impressive in the fact that it was. He literally did it at TedX. Puget Sound, which is defunct. It's not even around anymore. Must have been a tiny little. Looked like it was filmed in somebody's garage. He's holding a handheld mic. I swear there's like a fly flying around. He has like a flip chart that he's writing on and he, you know him. And both Brene Brown talked about Brene Brown especially. Obviously, her body of work has come to the surface now, and everybody knows who she is. And now she has a Netflix special and her Books are bestsellers. She really talked about something at the time that nobody else was talking about. You know, shame, vulnerability. And she brought forth an idea that was worth spreading. She really showed the world, I think, what TEDx had the potential for. And so I think that's really what. What made it good. And, Mike, I love your story about the NFL player because you nailed it perfectly. It's never. There's always like, there's a surfacing that people see, and then there's what makes people great. And you're right, it humanizes us and connects us to people when we can hear the human piece. I mean, with the World War II vet, with Frank Moore, his idea is life is as perfect as you make it, and everybody can relate to that. You know, he talks about how his daughter died in a car accident and how Thanksgiving of all days, and life is just as perfect as you make it. And so he. Even though he had went and stormed the beaches of Normandy and he was in World War II and he survived all that, I mean, he just talks about life. So, yeah, I think that that's what created and made TEDx really a brand worth looking at.

You talk about finding the human story and. And going beneath all what we see on the outside. Simple beginning for Simon Sinek, simple start for Brene Brown. What if I have this idea I really believe is worth spreading? Is there a standard process that goes across all TEDx events, or does each one handle me, the guy who wants to try something new, differently? Is there a particular process I must go through?

Yeah. Because I know we both have our opinions on this. Mike, I'm sure you'll have a great perspective for me. Mark, I would definitely say that there's a culture to ted. There's definitely a culture, just like there is in nsa, like there is in Toastmasters. The culture is what makes it beautiful. It's the reason why you can, you know, reach out to a toastmaster in China when you're visiting, and they will open their arms to you, even bring you into their home, because you share this common culture, this common thing that you believe in. And I think TED has that same following, that same culture. But then you get down to the level, and organizers are people, and people are people. So they're gonna have their own preferences, they're gonna have their own styles. They're gonna want different things. I think ultimately, though, the big culture of TED is, is this person gonna be idea centric and not me centric, or you centric, or my book centric or my speaking skills? Centric. It's that I think really that would be the big one. And if you can stay in that lane and in that space. I mean, as you know from my program how to rock a TikTok, I interviewed a whole bunch of organizers too, because I wanted to see, like TedX, Portland's not the only one in the world. I asked people across different countries and different places, different sizes of TED events, and they all pretty much said the same thing. What's the idea? Why is it different? Why is it unique? Why does our audience need to hear it? What's a different perspective? So I think if you stay in that lane, you'll be very, very safe. Now people's ego gets in their way. Because I've talked to so many people, they're like, I have this amazing idea and then I go, can you go to the ted site? Like 20 other people gave that same exact.

Nice.

So the process then, Mike, is it different? Do I have to call somebody or email somebody or must I phone a friend? Do I need to know some? Do I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy? Don't worry about it.

I mean, hey, I know what you're talking about. It occurred to me while Kathy was speaking, I don't know that we can answer that question in May of 2020 the same way we did in February. Because you and Darren doing the online presentations, training that you're doing, we've all agree now it's going to be different going forward. I'm not sure how TED events are going to be, how you're going to apply for them in the future, but up to now in Cincinnati, it was you submit a video and then they would do a live event audition. They didn't do that this year. It was just submit a video. So it's changing and I think that's going to become the norm going for most events. Submit a 3 to 5 minute video and they're going to base it on that video.

Hopefully you'll be the guy on the video. If it's somebody else's video, they're not.

Going to pick people with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. I guarantee that.

I get an idea, free hugs. Never mind.

All right, so one of the, you know, we talk about being unforgettable. So thanks to you guys, we're talking about being unforgettable. Giving a TED Talk. Let's just ask you quick, what do you think makes a TED Talk forgettable? What are some of the mistakes that you see? That's the difference between One that goes viral and one that has three views. Because it was. There's three people in their family. And I think everyone thinks, you gotta. I got a TedX talk. And. And they think all of a sudden their life's gonna change, their career is gonna take up. So what is a very forgettable TED Talk have in it?

I'll start with that. Kathy, you just said one is that the idea that you think is unique. And then you. The people haven't done their research. It's like 20 other people, exact same talk. That's why they told me we don't want to hear storytelling, even though I have a unique perspective. And I get that. So make sure that it truly is a unique perspective. Second is you can tell when somebody's not prepared. We see that as speech coaches at stage time also, but they just don't put in the time. But I think the biggest is they try to put too much information in and it becomes an information talk without any how to. And that's big in Cincinnati. They say, don't just give us an idea. How do we use it? That's what's missing in most of them is how do I take this idea and apply it to my life?

Yeah, I totally second that. Another big thing that I think has been sweeping across TED in general, especially now TED Global quickly converted to Chris Anderson interviewing people from experts from all over the world and the health space. And now all of a sudden you're seeing TED talks that were like in somebody's living room. So they've adjusted pretty quickly. I think one of the big areas where people are experts that they've been really fighting against is pseudoscience. People getting on the stage and making claims on things and trying to be unique, maybe trying really hard and realizing that they can't stay in that cliche space. And then they're creating information that's false or. I watched a TED Talk one time on a guy I don't even remember the name, but. But if I did, I wouldn't repeat it. But he repeated that thing that we always hear in Toastmasters that we know is false or it's out of context. 93% of everything you say is by Bible. I know, it's so out of context. And he gave a whole TED Talk on it. So to me, that would fall into the pseudoscience. So you nailed it, though. Mike, every TED Talk ultimately should have an end goal. How is it going to. And Darren, I know, like, like, I feel like you and I would violently agree on this. It's like, in the end, how are you going to change the way somebody feels or acts or thinks or does? Like, ultimately, what's the end. What's the end game to that? That's what a TED Talk should ultimately do. Even if it's just to educate you on something that is coming into the future. You know, something that you don't, that people don't have a lot of knowledge on. So it's a new perspective. What's your new perspective? Even if it's an old idea.

That's awesome, Kathy. That's a great, great point about that. You know, Dr. Moravian and the whole 93% versus 7% communication. And Mark's heard me rail on this a couple times on core calls is, you know, when somebody has not done their homework and they've. And Darren, you taught me that early on. Lost credibility right away. I'm not listening to anything else you say.

I did a Google search. Now I can do a TED Talk. You know, I did one Google search in five minutes. I got a ted, TED Talk idea.

Something's important to note, though, Darren, onto that question. I wouldn't necessarily. A lot of people that have given TED Talks like immediately want to go, you know, of course, a couple of my really big name people have gotten millions of views on their TED Talks. And I would say, as somebody who consumes a lot of TED talks and coaches and really stays in that world, I don't think the best TED talks, you can always gauge them by how many people have watched them because there's some great TED talks that have 5,000 views to them that are hidden gems. But because the topic doesn't seem to be mainstream at the moment and nobody's talking about that, they're kind of hidden so many times. A big mistake, probably the number one mistake that when we're coaching a speaker, I don't know if this happens with you, Mike, is people in their head, they're like, oh, I want to give a TED Talk that's going to get a million. Oh my God, stop. Give the best TED Talk you can in that space. And if it only gets 5,000 views, but you can say with all your heart that that was the best TED Talk in that space. With your knowledge, you've done your job.

One of our customers, Rena, gave an amazing TED Talk about her own experience and being raped. And I remember she came to me saying, oh, this guy who spoke at the same event, he has so many more views than I do. And I said, rena, stop. I said, there's no way he's got that many views that are natural or organic. Turns out the other guy was paying for views. Nothing wrong with that. But she was comparing herself. And then she started getting these trickle in emails and tweets of people who her story resonated. And finally they were able to talk about the. Their experience. And I was like, rena, that's why you're doing it. And then all of a sudden, she started getting paid keynote speeches as a result, and things organically grew as opposed to somebody like, oh, I have so many digits and numbers after.

Yeah, but Dan, what Kathy said to me, there's a parallel because I know a lot of toastmasters. Listen. And again, some wisdom you taught me early on, hey, if you want a trophy, go buy one, right? You can buy.

If you can buy mine, I'll sell.

Mine for the right price, 35 bucks, you can buy the. But quit doing that, because it's not about that. It's about getting the message out.

And I have one more question for you two coaches. What are some of the common questions that you find yourself asking over and over again to help dig out the real story of the real why? I know if it wasn't for Mark digging into me and my. Yeah, you were digging into my life. Like the Subway sandwich shop joke was not even in the original version. It was you pulling out what was already inside me that I didn't know how to access. So are there any other common question coaches that you ask pretty regularly that if somebody's listening to this, maybe they could ask themselves whether it's for a TED Talk or for their own presentation or even a pastor in a sermon.

Mike, I mentioned it earlier in my NFL player story. The question where did you learn that? And they're going to give you a surface answer, and then you gotta dig. Where we really learn is in childhood, obviously, from parents and grandparents usually, and other people reinforce it. So you have to ask yourself, is that where I learned it or did that just reinforce it and dig? Because that's where the story lies.

Mike.

Parents all over the world are just clapping for you right now because everybody learned something. And then they are like, oh, my gosh, I learned this thing. And then the parents, like, I've been telling you this for, like, somebody comes along. So you'll love that. No, I think that's great, Mike. I love that. Because, you know, part of what makes a TED Talk great is there's this idea, and on the surface, it's really good. But a really good TED Talk will be Layered by depth. And so I like the talks to be wide, like, they can be applicable, and they're universal to a lot of people. But I like the depth to them, too. So I like those depth questions. I also worked with Darren to help me on this list, and then I ended up finalizing it with a friend of mine who's a psychologist. But I came up with a thing called the idea generator, where there's like, 99 questions and try to, like, cover the whole array of somebody's life. And so I do a session that I call the idea session and all that we. The very first session, and we just sit there and cover that whole array. And people feel like they've left, like, a therapy session over time because I'm asking them about who their childhood hero is. I'm asking them about their first heartbreak. I'm asking. I mean, just mentors in their first business or first job. And so it's, you know, and it's part of my program, but I really feel like you really have to pick at people's lives. And I think that's why I know all of us are really huge advocates. Every single one of my. Anybody I coach, I always tell them. First thing I tell them, we're start a story file. You're going to. I mean, I have. I looked the other day. I have almost a thousand stories in my story file. I have, like 987 stories in there. It's the golden nuggets to your ideas, to your. It even enriches your life and your stories and your friendships and your family. So I think it's going deep. Mike, I think you nailed it. It's just. It's going deeper, going deeper, going deeper.

Well, Kathy, what's interesting about that, and we see this on stage time on core calls every week, is people do not see the power of their own story. And, Mark, I know we joke about this every week in the middle of somebody just talking to us about their story story that we've just watched on video. All of the coaches will say, whoa. And the members like, what are you talking about? That's the story. They don't see it, and we're all guilty of it. We're too close to our own stories, but that's why we have to dig.

Did I hear a magic thing?

Yeah, that's my little soundboard.

All these sound effects on.

I love it.

Guys, thank you for spending some time with us and letting us dig deeper into behind the Great TED Talks. What a coach sees and looks for and thinks about that most people don't even know the work behind it. Thanks for kind of illuminating that. It's not just that easy when you commit to it. You're committing to some serious effort and digging into your life and there's going to be some struggle and dear girl, people are gonna wanna quit on you as a coach. That's tough. And you guys are the heartbeat of the event. I think you guys are the secret weapon to making multiplying the message and getting that idea worth spreading. If it's not for you guys, there'd be some really lame talks that never reach their full potential. So thank you for what you do for the world, for people. And I know, Kathy, you also work with nice Nike and you've got this huge contract with them taking care of their executives. So I know both of you. You aren't just TedX coaches. That's just one little thing you do. So before we have the Mark Brown recap, Kathy, how would people find you? If they want to know more about you or work with you, they'd have.

To know how to spell my name. And then they just.

Okay, maybe you could spell it. Maybe you can spell it for them. Make sure you have the E. By the way, have the E in Cathy.

Thank you. Or you're. Yes, have the E in Cathy. Cathy. C A T H e y r MIAs like tortillas. A A R M I L L.

A s. That's how kathyormias.com youm can find out more about her, what she does. Truly one of the great coaches. And Mike Davis, how do we reach you?

That would be M I, K E D a B A s. No, hold on, hold on.

Spell it again. Wait, wait, wait.

Actually, my company is speakingcpr.com a lot.

Of presenters need their speeches resuscitated.

That was it.

Yeah. Do you have one of those things on your wall in your office, you know?

No, but I need to defibrillator. Have a lot of things on my wall. But my coach told me to get those off.

Yes. Smart guy.

Inside joke, guys. Inside joke.

Nice of you to listen. Excellent. You are coachable.

Yeah, Kathy, my background used to be awful and Darren called me one day and said, dude, we need to talk.

It's beautiful now. So it works.

If you want, I can show you what it used to look like. I have a picture of the 1970s Hardwood Basement man cave. One of our presenters, even in stage time, Kathy said, is he and his mom mom's basement. Like I, I didn't.

Can't even make that up still live with his mom.

Yes.

We appreciate you taking that on the chin mic, but it was for a good cause, so we appreciate you.

Yeah.

And so I'm gonna ask you guys, after Mark does his recap for one final bit of advice. If somebody wants to truly give an unforgettable TED Talk, what would they need to do or what would you tell them? If they were sitting across the table from you having coffee and they were really adamant, what would you tell them? But first, Mark Brown, let's talk recap. What's some keepers from today?

Well, the first was an old one from Darren Lacroix. If you're not coachable, there is no cure. But I like this one. It's not about the skill of the speaker. It's about the power of the idea. I love that Michael Davis said this. Don't be motivational, Be converted conversational. Don't be motivational, be conversational. Give a unique approach to a familiar concept and give a new perspective on an old idea. I'll say it again. Give a unique approach. Have a unique approach to a familiar concept and give a new perspective on an old idea. Two more. Find the story behind the story. Find the story behind the story and a really good TED Talk. I love this. By Kathy Armillas. A really good TED Talk will be layered by depth. Those are my keepers for the day.

Thank you. I got one more. One more that you missed. I can't believe you missed it. Here's the brilliance of Kathy Armias. Drawing out what the world needs to hear. Drawing out what the world needs to hear. And by the way, if you're listening to this, we mentioned ja Jang. Episode 11 is Ja Jang. You've got to listen to that and you've got to go watch his TED Talk and then hear the story behind the story. He's just awesome. So, Kathy Ermias, ladies first. What was your one piece of advice over coffee?

My one piece of advice would also be my biggest pet peeve. Don't end any talk with thank you because I know done right mic drop. We can all agree on that. I specifically hate it and a lot of TED talks actually do it, so don't just follow the herd. I just think that it's the lazy way to say I'm done with my talk. And I think the unlazy way to say I'm done with my talk is here is the most powerful thing that you're gonna hear from my talk and I'm gonna leave it there. So it's the last thing that you hear. It's the thing that ingests into your mind and blows up later. So and powerful with what you want them to do. And if you. I always threaten my speakers. If you say thank you, I will charge the stage and I will knock you down. Don't do it. And everybody that I ever. Oh, they, they always look at me. They don't say thank you. And you can see them looking behind the stage like, I didn't say thank you.

That's great.

That is fantastic.

Mike.

It's been said in this podcast already, but be coachable. Put your ego aside. You're being asked to speak on a TED stage because you're an expert. You may be brilliant, but you got to set your ego aside and be willing to find it. Like Frank did after 91 years of life. It took some work, but he set it aside and left a memorable talk that got Kathy a kiss on the.

Cheek, which I loved.

Yes, you did, dear girl.

It's ideas worth sharing, not ego worth spreading.

There you go.

All right. Hey guys, thanks for being a part. Thanks for helping other people to be unforgettable and thanks for pulling back the curtain and giving us the behind the scenes view at TEDx. Mark Brown, take us home.

Thank you so much friends. Hey listen, share this podcast with somebody you know and we'll see you on stage or online. Be unforgettable.

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