Ep. 43 Your Unforgettable First Words

Hey, Darren, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Have you heard that before?

Yes, on video.

Well, you know, that was my opening line of the Toastmasters contest 25 years ago, according to our recording time on this podcast. But, you know, people say using a coat like that's kind of cheesy, but there is a ring of truth to it because our first impression can be long lasting and our first words as speakers can really shape what happens after that. What do you think about that?

Do your first words get them to lean in or roll their eyes and lean back?

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Present Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Mark Brown, your life tells a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, Ahas? Let's dive right in.

Oh, Mark, there's nothing worse than a horrible first words. Oh, my gosh, really? You're the professional, you're the expert. You worked really hard on this or you didn't. And that's the first thing you say.

Hey, man, what about this? Good morning. How y' all doing today? It's so great to be here. Thank you so much. But we think about it, Darren. We have been introduced, hopefully. Well, we take the stage and now everyone's waiting to hear from us and we say, how you doing? How's everybody feeling tonight? I kind of feel like I'm in a cheesy comedy club. When a well paid speaker. I'm serious. When a well paid speaker comes in with, how y' all doing tonight? What a great day, isn't it? It just doesn't seem like a way to capture me. And I'm sure there are individuals who want to know, first of all, why our first words are so important. What advice do you give to a fledgling speaker who says, darren, I've heard all these ideas. Why must I get my first words right?

Yeah, it's so critical. It's about creating that connection. But it's either. It's setting the trajectory. It's either setting it on a good tone or a bad tone. We've heard all the boring openings before. So are you setting the expectation that this is going to be good? Are you setting the expectation that I better start looking at my watch and looking for the restroom? The worst one, though, Mark, we all Heard it early on in our careers. Always start with a joke? No, no. Because usually their quote unquote definition of a joke is something they heard somewhere else. That A is plagiarism because you didn't write it, or B, doesn't get a laugh, or C, maybe even gets a laugh, but is totally off topic. The audience is sitting there, why did they say that? What does that have to do with customer service? Unless you're teaching us what not to and immediately make it an example. But that usually is not the case.

Yeah, the truth is we have to be careful because what happens is the first words out of our mouths not only sets the tone for the presentation, Darren, but what it does is it tells the audience a bit about who we are. And I hate to admit this, but very often, while audiences want to hear what you have to offer, in a sense, they might be judging your professionalism based upon the first words that you say, based upon how you come on stage, based upon the first thing you say to them. And oftentimes clients and other speakers tell me. Well, Mark, you know, I know why you need your first words. Your first words are to get their attention. Well, look, that was the only reason. A bad joke gets your attention. A plagiarized line gets your attention. An overused quote gets your attention. A misquoted quote gets your attention. I could go on and on and on and on. It's not just to get your attention because you don't want to get their attention in the wrong way. As you said, Darren, you want to set a trajectory, set the premise. You want to know where this is going. And I often tell people, while it may get your attention, you got to think about this. You want to establish a connection and it's a dual connection. One, it's a connection between you and your audience because that, that tension exists before you even say your first word. You want to establish that connection. But those opening words should also connect back to what you said, Darren, the premise, why you were there, what you have to give your audience. Which means you got to think through this opening and make sure it's appropriate for your audience, not just a great line to make them laugh. That's not the point. You want to make sure you, you are bringing the audience along a journey. And your opening should be the first step. You are the guide on this journey and your opening should be that first step.

Yeah, that first step is so critical and we have to think it through. I mean, Mark, you and I teach a two day workshop live and virtually called Unforgettable presentations. And we do a whole section on this. And that's why we thought this would be a good topic for you and I to have that conversation about. Because for me, it's therapy. I just. I want to. I have to speak and get it out that so many people are horrible or they walk up and they tell you about the weather. Now, yeah, here's the key about the weather. It's actually an attempt to do the right thing.

Yeah.

Because it is a commonality. What's one thing that they have in common? They were all outside that day. Maybe. Unless they were in a casino that day. But you're trying to create that connection on something that's almost a vanilla topic. It's like, that's what you got. What about the weather? You know, I mean, it just drives me batty.

Unless. Unless the weather is significant to what you're talking about. I mean, if you're dealing with. Look, Darren, for two years in a row, I got to speak in Canada to a group that was involved in farming. Now, for a farming audience who were.

Dealing with their crops, Was it ice fishing?

Be nice to my Canadian friends, Darren.

I love Canada.

They actually had me back two years in a row. So I guess they like my presentation. But for them, if I talk about the weather when they're going through a difficult time and crop season or a splendid time for them at that time with that audience, it may be the perfect thing to say. But it comes down to, first of all, knowing your audience. What's on their hearts, what's on their minds, and what's important. Get this to them. Not about you looking good or being funny or being sharp. It's what you have to offer to them. Them. So the weather may not be appropriate for every audience. Airport travel may not be appropriate to every audience. But if they've all come to convention and they had to go through a difficult time because the airport had an issue, you could certainly connect with them in that way. But make sure if you use that reference, it still ties to the theme, your premise, and begins to lead them on the path. Because your whole goal is to bring them to a destination. If you go off on your left foot, when the path goes right, you have a big turn to make to yank the wheel to get them back to where you're going. And so many speakers make that mistake, Darren. They think a joke is funny, but then how do I get back on track? Especially after a great introduction.

Yeah. What did that have to do with the premise? And just to define premise we love Patricia Fripp. She's a friend, a mentor to us. You can find a podcast one of our episodes that we sat down with our hero, Patricia Fripp. But she defined premise so perfectly. The premise is the thought or the idea that you're selling. So the purpose of a good opening is to set up that thought or idea that you're selling. So if the weather had something to do with scarcity, and that's your topic, well, then there could be a logical tie in. But you still want to do it in an intriguing way, not a cliche way.

I love that. In an intriguing way, in a cliche way. And the key is knowing that whatever you choose to use your opening, whatever technique you choose, whatever method you choose, as long as it then sets you and the audience on this journey, you can use it. Now, be creative. We could probably give you 10, 20 different opening techniques, but the mindset has always to be creative. Get me to that point where we can be going together on this journey. You can tell the stories you could, but whatever you do, it has to be along that path. Bearing in mind, on rare occasions, a cheesy line may be just the right thing. But don't choose it because you like it. Choose it because it serves your audience best. That has to be the overarching idea, the thought or idea you're selling. Ask yourself, will this line, will this song, will this joke, will this little anecdote, will it help me to sell that premise? Or am I just choosing to satisfy myself by being funny? As Darren, you said, sometimes it doesn't land. And if it doesn't land, you dug yourself a hole you must now dig out of to get back to zero. And that can be painful. If you've seen that before, you'll know, as Darren would say, ouch. That's not fun, right?

Yeah. It creates two problems if you tell a joke that's off topic and not funny. One, the audience knew you were trying to be funny and weren't. And then number two, now you got such a bridge to gap to get over to what you were going to talk about. So please, please, please don't do that. And understand we're trying to set up the premise. We're going to keep saying that over and over until you get it that you need to set up the premise. Your joke, your story, your. Your opening. First words are so critical, and otherwise you're gonna have to do damage control to try and get them back if you miss it at the beginning where they're set up. But if you don't do it right now, you've gotta almost work harder to reconnect. Cause you just blew the connection. And by the way, I wanna remind people, check out episode. Let's see, episode number 10, where we talked about the introduction. So the introduction, we really went into the importance of it, what to do, Right? So now we're talking about. You're walking on stage. And I think, Mark, we also got to bring this up. The pause before you present. I love the Ed Tate. Ed Tate, Stan. The Ed Tate scan. Where, you know, he taught me in this most critical moment, as soon as the applause dies down. So as soon as the applause dies down. Let me just use this Mark, as the example. You know what? I'm going.

Aaron's toy. Here we go.

All right. So can you do it? So let's just say use this as an example. So, Mark, why don't you just do this live? First words. What do most speakers do? All right. Most speakers do when they take the stage to applause.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for being here. And it's great.

Stop.

That's wrong. Stop.

As soon as the applause dies down, whether it's a contest or whether it's a keynote, like, you've got to take that moment to create your own connection to that audience, to you. Because the otherwise the connection is still lingering from the previous speaker. It's almost like you don't want to tap into their connection. You want to create your own connection. So, Mark, let's go. Take two. All right, so here's how it should sound.

It was 5pm on a Thursday afternoon.

Bam. Those three, four, five seconds. And if you remember my buddy David McElhaney, my other coach, he said give it a three or a four. Heartbeat pause doesn't say seconds. That's too logical. Heartbeat, like, stand in that moment, take a few seconds, and guess what? It also establishes confidence and it also establishes intrigue. It gets them to lean in, to want to hear your first words instead of instantly. So, Mark, here's what I hear a lot. So I'll do this one. Yeah. So thank you. And they're talking and they haven't even finished clapping yet. And it's just take that time to create your own unique connection. Show that confidence. And it's a Boston term. You know, one of my favorites. Shut up.

Shut up. Yeah. Don't step on the applause. In the same way we tell comedians, don't step on the laugh because that shows the audience is with you. And Darren to go a little deeper on the point you made, particularly if you're at a conference and you were following a previous speaker in quick succession, it might sound bad, but. But as a presenter, you kind of want them to forget the previous speaker. Not what they had to offer. But now you're a different person, different personality, you look different, you sound different, you want them to key on you. And that pause also gives you time after the polite applause. And here's the truth. Not everybody's applauding. Some people are going to the purses. No, no, they bring their purses. They're on their cell phones, they just tweeted something and they have so many other distractions that they're engaged in. When you give that three, four, five heartbeat pause, you give them time to one, their applause has all died down. Two, their mind is now off previous speaker. Three, they're looking at you, you're saying nothing. Four, they're putting their phones away and okay, now they want our attention. I've used that technique in many middle school with a thousand kids in a gymnasium. Darren, I just stop and look at him. And all of a sudden kids are going French. They almost want everyone to key in on the speaker. It works for kids. And adults are just older kids. I don't mean to insult anyone, but I'm saying by using that 3, 4, 5 heartbeat, everyone's attention automatically now comes towards you. And now you look at them with a scan, they see you looking at them, they see you. You want to eng them. Now you're establishing a relationship non verbally before you even say a word. Trust me. Try this. It is amazing and powerfully effective.

Yeah. And then we've got to do what Ed Tate, our buddy, teaches people, is to break preoccupation. So if you do that right, that alone will break preoccupation. Because if you're thinking about, some people are looking down, like you said, they're looking at their phones. The applause comes down and they're expecting those first words to come right away as soon as the applause dies down. And nothing. So they're looking and then nothing. It's like, is everything okay?

Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, what's going on? Is he okay?

Why is there no blah, blah, Good morning. It's really nice to be here. They're expecting that. So when you don't, it helps break that preoccupation and gets people to like, look up and almost take, take command attention by standing there in silence.

Man, there is power in that pause before you begin. And the beauty of it is you aren't struggling to get their attention. You are quietly commanding their attention. That's great. But after you have that attention, you have to be very careful what you say first or what you say next. And the intent, as we said, is to set up the premise of your presentation. And there are different ways, Darren, that you and I have opened. There are different ways that Frippa's taught people to open. There several or myriad or a plethora or an abundance of ways to open your presentation.

Let me get my dictionary and see if I can top that one. Because I can't do it out of my head. Plethora is my limit right there. When we do the two day workshop, we give people 18 different techniques. And we don't have time to cover all of that right now because it would turn it into an eight hour podcast. And then there's 25 opening lines so we have even the first actual words to say. But then here's a situation. Why to use those words and then what follows those words. So there's a lot to it. But Mark really felt that we should have this podcast where we focus in and make sure we're stressing that if you want to be unforgettable, the pause before your first words and your very first words matter. After your opening. After your opening, you can say, good morning. It's really nice to be here. If you feel those platitudes are necessary or it makes you. Allows you to be more comfortable, that's fine. But you don't do it first, you do it after.

Yeah. You know, the thing is, I know people might be thinking, well, Mark, you're talking about first words and you had this contest, you had almost like a cliche line. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. True. That was 25 years ago. I was certainly less experienced, but what I did.

Were there books back then?

Oh, geez, man, you're tough on me. Yeah, I know, I know. Back in the old VHS days. Yeah. Back then they actually recorded this contest on VHS video. And I do know what Betamax is, by the way, Darren. But even though you never get a second chance to make a first impression may seem to be a cliche line. What I did right was I used a line that was directly related to the purpose and premise of my speech. You analyzed that speech in episode, I think episode three was of our podcast. You showed me. I used a second chance several times throughout the speech as an underlying thought theme. And my last words were a second chance. So without really analyzing it back then 25 years ago, I used an opening line, even though it was a well used quotation. I used an opening line that did set up the premise of my speech and carried all the way through and even ended with, everyone deserves a second chance.

No, no, no. Everyone deserves a second. Yes.

Oh, daddy.

No doubt you've got to have the Mark Brown delivery.

Well, you did it for me, so thank you. But Even not knowing 25 years ago, the power of the opening line setting up the premise, I was using it without realizing it. And just today I got email from India where someone referenced the power of the speech I gave 25 years ago with that technique applied, which kind of.

Tells me they have VHS in India. They have VHS in India? What?

That's two.

Okay, okay. @ least I didn't say real to real.

Oh, Darren, you're having a ball today, aren't you?

Amen, bro.

Thank you for keeping me sharp. But. But seriously, I didn't realize back then I was using the appropriate technique. I didn't understand why it worked. But now. But now I see clearly that when the opening does set up your premise and if you can have it flow through your presentation, thematically, it's really, really powerful. So, Darren, we can't give 18 or 20 techniques in our talk today, but we can offer a couple, a few and give examples of how they work really effectively when your first words can really connect with your audience. What do you think?

I think the examples are important because sometimes I hear people, here's a technique, here's a technique without the example. So I would love to give really solid examples of the techniques that we offer.

Well, Darren, I'm going to ask you to jump in here because I know one that we teach is called the startling statement, where you open with a line that shocks them. It's kind of like the interesting fact, but almost at a higher level. It really. Whoa, where did that come from? Is that really true? I didn't know that. And the audience begins to go immediately. And I believe you've a great example of a startling statement. Good buddies.

I have two, actually. Now that you say that, two quick examples. And both I know sometimes. Mark, we did Speakers bureau's week last week on Unforgettable Podcast, and that wasn't really applicable to pastors. So for pastors, here's two great pastor examples that whether you're a pastor or not, whether you're in a congregation or not, these are great openings. If you remember, Mark, Patricia Fripp had. Yes. When she was Talking to the Seventh Day Adventist, she opened with, it says 362 times in the Bible, this too shall pass. And unless your presentation or sermon is well structured, I can't even hold it any longer. Unless it's well structured, your message will not stay in the hearts and the minds of your audience, of your congregation. Again, that's not word for word, but I'll always remember it because it's so powerful. 342. I don't remember the exact number. 342 times it says in the Bible, this too shall pass. So if. Now remember, her audience is Seventh Day Adventist ministers. So to them that's a startling statement. What? And she ties it perfectly into her premise. It's. It sets up her premise. And in episode 13, we interview Pastor Vince Antonucci and he has one of my favorites. We even show the clip in that episode as well as when we teach our two day seminars. It's the same thing that it says that money is mentioned.

I think he says God mentions money in the Bible more than any other topic. Something like that.

And that's like what really money is. And it sets up his premise about that. It's not about money, it's our relationship to money. And it's so well done. And forgive us for not having the exact words, but you get the point that it truly is a startling statement. I never realized that was the most common topic in the Bible. Like what? All right. And as Ed Tate would say, I'm listening. Yeah.

And the thing is, you know, Fripp, also when you tell pastors, if you don't deliver good sermons, they too will pass. You're thinking, wow, I need what she's teaching me to make sure my congregation will recall my sermon. So knowing the audience that you have and the impact the line can have, that's when a startling statement can be like, whoa, really? You know what? Whoa. I didn't realize that. And you want to make them think because now they're involved, now they're leaning in, now they want to know, okay, so how can I rectify that? How can I use that? How can I change that? Wow. How can I change me? And if the audience begins to think like that in your first line, they're clearly behind you on the path to the destination that your premise has prescribed. It's powerful.

So, so important. Mr. Brown, Mr. Brown, that is startling statement. Another one of my favorites is what they're thinking. Tying back in directly to what are they thinking? What is top of mind. And we want to be careful how we approach this, but whatever is top of mind. Whether it's the conference, whether it's what's going on in the world, what is it and how can we tap into that and know what they're thinking? Let me give you an example, Mark. So I was presenting at the Rio, I was doing a keynote speech at the Rio. And if you've listening and watching this, if you've never been to the Rio before, it has a very unique setup or structure of the actual casino. There's a large bank of elevators where all the hotels, hotel rooms are. And then the convention center is like a mile and a half away. So now there's obviously hallways so you don't have to go out in the Vegas sun. And you have to go down a long hallway. You take a right hand turn, you go down another long hallway, you take a left hand turn, go down another long hallway, and then there's another hallway that you keep going down. And I was speaking to a group called Contours Express. They're a group of franchisees and they're mostly female franchise owners and they own these franchise there's workout for women and so it's called Contours Express. And they were having their big, their first big international convention here in Vegas. And so me, middle aged bald guy walking through the crowd, nobody sees me, which I love because it allows me to eavesdrop, to hear what the conversations. Cause I want to create that opening that connects me to the audience. And sometimes honestly, there's nothing, there's nothing that's unique enough to set up my premise or to create that connection. So I'm walking down the hallway and I hear these ladies talking and they're oh my gosh, what a long hallway. This is crazy. I should have worn my sneakers. This is crazy. Why am I wearing heels? Da da. And it was common. So I realized what was happening. And so when I got up on stage, I said, welcome to the Rio here in Vegas and isn't this a beautiful hotel? And they all applaud. And then I say, I don't know if you know this or not, but Rio is actually a Native American term that stands for long flipping hallway. And they lost it. But I tapped into what they were thinking now that you know, you're like, oh, well that's funny. And that works at that one hotel. Well, it works in that same situation where there's a similar top of mind situation. I gave Jennifer. Lear and I were doing a UPS franchisees convention and we were on a panel and they had us there. We were at the Wynn hotel. And Wynn is spelled W, Y, N, N. And so it was a similar situation. And so when they introduced me in the panel, I said, I don't know if you know this or not, but Wynn. Do you notice it's spelled a little differently? I don't know if you know it or not, but it's a native American term which stands for long flipping hallway and 300 franchise, 500 franchisees. However, memory, they all lost it. Why? Because it's what they were thinking.

Yeah, and what's tricky though is. Yeah, when you do that and you know, you've established the connection with the audience and the idea. For example, Darren, you said Contour Express and the physical fitness women franchisees. Yep, franchisees. I'm just seeing myself, I was like, oh, I wish I was there. I'm seeing myself saying, yeah, long whip in the hallway. But that's why you need to be fit, physically fit. And, you know, I'm just gonna play on that and just kind of riff on that. And. And sometimes being aware of what the audience is thinking gives you the room to then kind of massage where you're going and really draw them in, have fun with it. But then you can connect it right back to why you're there and what you've got to share with them. It's pretty powerful. The key, though, is to be aware what often happens, Darren, to be really honest, especially if you're new and not as experienced as other people. As pro speakers, you're so caught up in the excitement of the moment. I've worked so hard on my presentation. I've got to deliver this well. And there is material going right by you because you're so focused on you delivering this right? No ums, no ahs, being perfect on stage, never forget you are there to serve your audience. And sometimes the best way to serve them is to listen to them because they're constantly talking to you. Whether they know it or not. They're giving you information and giving you material that you can use. But a startling statement certainly is helpful. And understanding how they think what's in their mind is also a key. One more thought, Darren. Go ahead.

Yeah, one more quick one. When you and I were creating unforgettable presentations, the two day workshop, one of the ideas was you could go online and actually do some searching to try and find some interesting statistics. And one of the ones I said, all right, let me show you. And then in five minutes, I literally went on Google, I did a search, and here's what I found again, tying into Our premise, how to create an unforgettable presentation. So what I found was, it takes six months to build a Rolls Royce and 13 hours to build a Toyota. And I found that on cora.com and it was a post that was there. So you always want to reference your source, but in that situation, we can ask the audience, okay, are you trying to build a Toyota or are you trying to be unforgettable? So the process is different. It takes longer. So that interesting statistic makes you go, huh, I didn't know that. But then, directly related to our topic.

Yeah. And I think you know, that particular statement, most people will admit, if they're being honest. I did not know that. And once you connect that to the idea of, hey, it takes that much extra work to build the Rolls Royce, you know what? I don't want my talk to be a Toyota. I want my talk. I want my presentation to be a Rolls Royce, a Maybach. I want mine to be really, really unforgettable. Therefore, I now know I've got to put the work in. And that one stack, that one fact now helps you lead the audience to thinking, I need to put the work in to get the result I want. So you want to think about what your first words are going to do to the audience's mind and how willing they will be to follow you on that journey to your destination that your premise prescribes.

Nice. All right, Mark, what else we got here?

You know what? I think we could talk about maybe a callback. To me, you're the king of the callbacks. But a callback is really cool. A callback calls back to a previous speaker, a previous event. And I found that callbacks are really effective when you call back to the company president, the CEO, or what somebody in authority, somebody who is highly respected has said at the event. I can recall one time I was doing a program in Dallas, Texas, for an organization involving healthcare, and they had done very, very well. And the CEO had told them about their performance, how well they had done, had told them about the numbers they put in and the results they got. And I knew my presentation was about being your best and exceeding your expectation of excellence. So when I was introduced, I said, phil just told you you are good. You are really very good, and that's your problem. So I combined a callback with a shocking statement. You're very, very good, and that's your problem. My premise was, as good as we are, we can all achieve greater levels of excellence. So that callback to what Phil said and the line that's your problem. I combine two of those techniques to get their attention and to connect to the idea of your performance was good. Now how can you make it excellent? I had to be aware of what he was saying. I had to be listening, because very often what happens to us is we're going to go up next. We're in our card, our notes, we're getting pumped up, we're doing our thing, and that's nothing wrong with that. But if you're not paying attention, you can miss golden opportunities. So I called back to what he said. Combine the shocking statement. And I knew I had them right there. And the program went very, very well. So think about how a callback could help you in your presentation, because one thing it does is this. It tells the audience, this individual, this speaker has done their best to get to know us. They're listening, they're paying attention, they're engaged. And trust me, for the most part, if the audience knows you're engaged with them and their organization and know where they are, what you're thinking, they're that much more willing to listen to you because they believe you respect them enough to know what's going on in their hearts and in their minds.

And if you like these ideas, by the way, I love, Mark, how our different episodes tie in and back up and go deeper. So if you like the callback idea, definitely check out episode 41, Mark Scherenbrock, because he talked about that a lot. And I try to get to an event a day or so ahead of time, and sometimes it blows the event planner away. Well, I want to find those beautiful nuggets, those emotionally charged moments that I can tap into that energy and. And connect me with my audience or reinforce a point. So if I can't get there a day ahead of time, I'm gonna ask around as soon as I get to the event site. What were the funny joke lines? What were the big moments? And I'm again looking for that commonality, not just something that struck one person, but if everybody's talking about Barbara and when she pulled out the tablecloth and the table fell over, like, I never want to diss another presenter, but if they had a good funny moment and they were okay with it, you know, obviously you never want to call back to anything negative, but if you want to call back to those emotionally charged moments, it can be a brilliant, brilliant thing. Mark, you know my famous one, when I was speaking at the NSA convention, it was in Phoenix, Arizona, and I was asked to give my ToastMaster speech. At NSA, that had never been done before. It was 2002, and the opening ceremonies had this pomp and circumstance. And Phoenix, Arizona, this guy comes in, riding on a horse, playing a banjo and singing. And it was really cool. And he goes up to the front of the room, he's playing another song. And while he's in the front of the room, he turns the horse to the side and he turning towards us and singing and playing. It was really cool. And in the middle of his song, the horse pooped, but it had a bucket behind it. But what was. What got the audience to gasp and yell and scream is it overshot the bucket. Like, overshot it. And so look, you know, I mean, no harm, no foul. It happens. Horse, you know, it's time. It's time. So the next morning, I was scheduled to give my open for the Saturday morning opening, setting up the keynote speaker. I was only doing seven minutes. At the beginning of my speech, when I fall in my face, I fell down in my face. After I deliver my lines, I go, is this where the horse did it? I still have people commenting on that decades later, but it was a really cool moment. But it was literally realizing, okay, here's this memorable moment that everybody saw, looking for those common moments. And then I literally sat down with Michael on fellow world champion Ed Tate. And I don't remember who else was there, but literally sat down and strategized. How could I tie into it, you know, without going over the top or making it gross or something like that? So how could I subtly tie into it? But bam, it became a memorable moment. Now, they. That was like a setup from God. Like, you don't get them that often, but I just knew. But you do get some magical moments that you could at least tie into. So we're looking for those moments, and then we, quote, unquote, call back to them. And that connects us to everybody because they know we were listening. We heard what was said, we knew, and we acknowledged the critical moment.

Now, that's wonderful. And callbacks can be so very powerful. I often say callbacks create aha's and ha ha's. In my case, the callback was a what? That's my problem by being so good. And in your case, it was aha. So we got the aha and the haha. So callbacks create ahas and hahas just a nugget to leave with you there. You know, again, there are many, many techniques for us to really get the audience going. But sometimes, Darren, you know, the path you want to lead the audience on and you're trying to get there quickly, especially if the previous speaker and the way things have been going during the day have kind of led them in one direction. And you're thinking, how can I yank the wheel and get. How can I get them to a place where they can see, feel, experience something? And I know that our dear friend Fripp has taught us a one word technique to get the audience to bring their mindset to where you want them to be. And I believe you have used this one word to have the audience almost transport them to a different time, different place, and to get them on the path that you want them to take. This one word is imagine. And I know you've used that in the past. And I'm curious to know, have there been circumstances where a word like imagine has been really needed because you had to pull them from where they may have been to where you want them to be? How have you used that imagine word as an opening in your presentations, Darren?

Yeah, they're always somewhere else, so we always have to bring them present. And Mark, you and I know we speak to. To toastmasters around the world, but just because we won a contest doesn't mean they're going to instantly connect with us.

Yeah, that's true.

So we still have to practice what we preach, if you will. So I use the word imagine and I tie the audience. So again, this is a Patricia Fripp technique. We want to give her full credit. Fripp.comfripp.com Go check it out. She's got brilliant articles and blog posts. She teaches us imagine. And then we paint the audience into a picture they want to be in, an end goal. They want. We never want to paint the audience. Imagine your car careened off the road and you're flying through the air into a ravine. Only rocks and spikes coming out. Like, you know, we don't. We want to only put them into a positive session that they want to be in. So I start off. Imagine you are competing in the World Championship of Public Speaking. You have been working on this speech for six months. You've given it to everyone who listened. The cat, the dog, your spouse hates the speech, but it's Saturday morning. You walk into the meeting room, you look out and you see 2,000 chairs.

Whoa.

You smell the coffee brewing in the back of the room. You can feel the tension in the air. And right at that moment, my dad walked up to me and said, darren, I can't find my seat.

Not now.

There's 2,000 seats, dad. Pick one. So I transitioned from the audience painting themselves in this emotional moment, and then this is a Craig Valentine technique. Tap and transport. Tap into their world and then transport them into your story. And then I talk about my dad, but it's too late. They already pictured it. They already have those feelings. They're already imagining that, because just saying the word imagine gets them to do that. But then we have to help them paint the picture just enough, just with some specific imagery to get them there. But it's that place they want to be.

And you know what you've actually done here, Darren? You've used a technique to open that's used by speakers around the globe. It's a story, but you doubled down. It's not just a story. It's a story in which the audience finds themselves involved after the very first word, imagine. It's really a dual technique, and used well, it can really set the audience up to experience, to have an experience with you. That, again, creates the atmosphere in which your premise is elevated. You've gotten their attention. You've made an emotional connection, but the connection is deeper because now they are involved. They are there. They're smelling the coffee. They're seeing the fresh carpet. They're seeing the chairs. They're hearing the voices. They're sensing the tension in the air. They're actually not just hearing a presentation. They're having an experience. And, Darren, you know, I've been teaching this for years. Don't give a speech. Give an experience. And when you apply that story technique with that one word, imagine, and do it if you effectively, that's when the audience feels so connected. It's as if they're right there with you. A powerful technique if used well and used effectively. But as Darren says, you want to make sure the situation is one in which the audience would want to find themselves, not one where they may see themselves in danger. So you be very careful how you. You choose the scenario and the situation in which you want them to invite to imagine themselves.

Darren and Mark, another technique that we have to bring up, which this is maybe an obvious one, but let's clarify on using a story.

Yeah.

So using a literal story to engage the audience right out of the bat. Not. Good morning. I'm really happy to be here. Thank you. What an honor. I was five years old. Like, just killed it. No, no, no. Right in. Jump in. As Ed says, break the preoccupation, jump into your content, and in this situation, jump into your story. Jump right into it. I use the one all the time about The Mark Brown story, where I drove, you know, got in my car, drove two and a half hours. It was Reader's Digest in a corporate training room, a little corporate theater. Mark Brown and David McElhenney. And if you were standing there, you would have seen me beaming from ear to ear, so excited to give Mark Brown the greatest speech in the history of Toastmasters. I swear, it was so good, you could hear choirs of angels. And so I launch right into that story. Now, the story has a purpose because I do that. I open with that when I'm doing my on the stage keynote, when I'm teaching people, what's the difference between good and great? How do we get there? What does a coach see? Well, the story sets up the line to be coachable. So if I'm going to get them to open their minds to this new way of looking at things, I want to use that story of where my ego got in the way. And I thought I just needed a few tips, but I wasn't coachable. So I used the Mark Brown story in order to again, set up my premise.

Yeah. And I love the fact that the story was engaging. And many of us will want to tell stories that we like. They're our favorite stories. They're, oh, this is a great story. I gotta tell the story. But then we began to try to jerry rig it and try to find a way to make the story fit into the content. And sometimes, if we're honest, we know it doesn't, but we love the story so much, we really want to tell it. One of the signs of our professionalism, and I'm trying to be always professional, is knowing that my favorite story may not be for my audience. It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, Darren, to acknowledge that my favorite story may not be the right story, but for this audience, for this message at this time. And that's why we tell people to keep a story file. Because you know what? We want to find the better story. No, we want to find the best story for this audience, for this premise at this time, for this outcome that'll benefit the people in the seats. So you have to, yes, great, to tell stories, but make sure the story is connected, sets up and supports your premise, and fits seamlessly into the flow of your presentation.

Yeah. For that audience, that time, that day. So I would never start out, imagine you're about to give the speech of your life. So if I'm talking to Toastmasters, I say, you're in the world Championship. If I'm talking to a group of NSAers or an NSA chapter. I'll say, imagine you're giving the speech of your life. It's the big one. So I say world championship because they don't get that. That's not on their radar screen, even though there might be a couple of Toastmasters. So I adjust the opening for that story. But I also wouldn't say imagine you're about to be in front of a room of 2,000 people. If I'm talking to, let's just say, and forgive the reference if you are one, but actuarial accountants, actuaries, actuaries, because they don't necessarily, necessarily want to be in front of an audience, and that's not why I'm there. So I'm not going to use that story that way for that audience because they don't want to imagine that they panic when they think about that. So we've got to just be aware, just like you said, what's the best story today to set up this premise for this audience? It's almost like you've got to ask ourselves those things, especially if you're going to use a story. Now, a story is good if it's the right story.

Yeah. And that's really key. If nothing else, please take this nugget or this one.

Keeper.

We have the responsibility to really think about the why behind the presentation, to think about what is the best way to open for this audience at this time under these circumstances. We have the responsibility to find out what's going on with that particular audience or in an organization. Because how you open could really make or break what you have, what impact you have on the audience. I know we spoke with Scott McCain some time ago, Darren, and he talked about being in a. I think it was episode 33, where he had to face an audience that was kind of hostile. And he had to. He had to find out what was going on, what was the reason for this. And I myself had a program one time when I had to go to this particular event and I found out the CEO was released by the board a couple of days earlier, and had I not found out what I was dealing with, it could really have hampered my impact on the organization. So I guess the bottom line is this. Yes, we're discussing the opening lines here, but the overarching truth is we have to accept the responsibility to really understand our audience, understand their circumstances, situation, and to determine what's the best way to serve them. And the first thing that we say, our opening lines can either make or break the impact we can have on any audience on any given day and.

Make or break that connection. So again, if you're listening to this, thank you. If you want more like this is just one aspect. Episode 10, we go deeper on the introduction, setting up the stage before you even go out there. If you want to learn Vince Antonucci and more behind the story of him as a pastor being unforgettable. And he's just great at illustrations. That's episode 13. Mark Schoenbrock was episode 41. He really is the king of the callback. Got some great stories. So, Mark, I really hope you're enjoying this podcast. We love working together. Well, I won't speak for you, but.

I love working with Ben.

I love working with working with Mark. We truly love what we do and we encourage you. If you want to learn more from us, check out one of our events or check out stagetimeuniversity.com because this is what we chose to do with our time. And Mark Brown, you're my brother.

Well, man, I appreciate that. And to be really honest, getting to work with you, especially in a time when there's so much conflict in our world, I think us working together represents what can happen when people choose to collaborate, use their skills, and support each other. And what we're trying to do is support the people who want to speak well. We want to support those pastors, those pro speakers who want to be unforgettable. And each tool, each tip, each technique, each interview is designed to help you truly be unforgettable. It's our joy. It's our privilege to serve you. And Darren, you can take us home, man.

Yeah. Just remember, every time you get on stage, that question that Mark told me you have the privilege of seven minutes for 2,000 lives. Well, if you're giving a presentation, you have the opportunity for 45 minutes or 18 minutes for a TED talk. But remember also, if it's being recorded, that's multiplied by how many people watch that recording. And right now, there are people in your audience who they're smiling, but they're hurting inside. And I love what Terry Paulson said. We have to be merchants of hope. So don't just prepare a speech. Prepare so you can truly help people who are hurting inside and need your inspiration so you and your message can be unforgettable.

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