Ep. 50 Choose to Be Unforgettable

Hey, Mark, do you have ever a time in your life where you wanted something, you really wanted it, but then came that moment that it was that decision. It was that choice where you're like, that's it, I'm in.

Oh, yes. I can think of two right away. One, of course, was entering the Toastmasters speech contest and committing to six months of my life to win that thing. And the other, funny enough, was a relationship with. With my beloved wife. We're now 38 years married, and trust me, when you make a decision, when you choose, you will go all in.

And, Mark, I don't want to impress you with my knowledge, because I had to look this up a long time ago, but I remember the idea of burning the boats. Desidre was the decision. The decision, burning the boats, that there is no turning back, that I don't no longer want something. Mark, you heard me tell the story again and again and again about me playing high school football, being on the sidelines and getting frustrated with my dad, taking a picture of me on the sidelines. But I wanted to be in the game. But it wasn't until that day where enough is enough. That's it, I'm in. And it reminded me, gave me this idea for this episode, because I think it changes when you choose to be unforgettable. I love that quote by Patricia Fripp when she defines a hero and she says a hero is an imperfect person striving to be heroic.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcast with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, AHAs. Let's dive right in.

Mark, tell me about that moment when you chose, when you decided, what was that like? Bring us to that moment.

I had lost the contest in 1994 in Toastmasters. And I said, you know what? I'm going to do this one more time. I lost that contest at the end of August 1994. And by September, by September, I knew I was going to commit to competing one more time. I began to write a speech in September for the following year and for the next 11 months. It was one of those things on the forefront of my mind. I was committed. And the best part was when I made that choice, I found the people in my life who were willing to walk that journey with me, lock arms with me, and to hold me accountable for a commitment I made, for a choice I made to be unforgettable and to be successful.

I think when you choose, it just changes the game all of a sudden. It's a different level, a different playing field. In high school, I was so frustrated that I was always second string. And senior year, I said, enough is enough. In fact, I started lift. I started going to football camp. Nobody in my high school went to football camp. There was like one other kid because it wasn't like our main thing at our high school. But I just said, you know what? I gotta go above and beyond if I'm down here. And I think of Michael Haggs changing your identity, changing your own internal identity, getting to a different place. So you gotta go deeper. I started lifting weights, I started taking protein pills, I started running 4 miles A. And I remember one moment, one morning that when I was still getting used to this new acclimation, you know, literally on the side of the track heaving up my protein pills. But that's kind of what it took and it wasn't noticeable right away. Here's the thing, when you make the choice, things start to evolve, but you don't see different results right away. They're on the way, but not right away. And I remember it took me probably three games into the season where my coaches started noticing, you know, I was the last guy off the field. I was the first guy on the field. I was not the biggest, I was not the most talented, but I decided I chose to be a starter. And so I've got to change my identity and how I look at myself, and I think if a presenter can make that choice, that I'm going to be unforgettable. And I love that quote by Patricia. You don't have to be perfect, but that underlying intention needs to be there. And then all of a sudden, things will come to. I remember preparing for the world championship. I got this thought, ooh, you should run four miles like you did in football. I'm like, four miles a day. What does that have to do with presenting? Well, if you're gonna be under the biggest pressure of your life, you've gotta be able to handle that stress. And being in better shape helps you to handle that stress. Oh. So I think once you make that choice, all of a sudden these ideas start coming to you. But the cool thing is you act on them where maybe you might've had the ideas before, but you didn't. I heard about affirmat, I thought, affirmations, smash formations. That's silly. What does that do? What's that difference? Does it make? But then I thought, ooh, what if it does work? And if I'm all in, if I chose to do this, I'm gonna unturn every stone.

It's funny at the chuckle because I remember you telling me that going through that process in high school, becoming bigger, stronger, faster. You earned a pretty cool nickname, didn't you? Chester.

Yeah, that's Chester, right? I was not Steve Austin and I was not the 6 million doll. I did so much bench press that I became strong, and it changed my body. And I had the best chest in high school.

Now, now we'll leave it alone. Being all in, Darren, seriously. And getting ready for the contest. My coach, the man I call the master mentor, David Brooks, 1990 world champion, he made a statement once about preparation, and he said, no matter what happens, I will not let anyone out. Prepare me. And I think you also had philosophy, which means you were committed. You went all in. I choose to prepare myself so well that no matter what happens, it'll be obvious to the audience, to the judges, I am the most prepared. I played high school football. In Jamaica, we call it football. North Americans call it soccer. And we would run. We were conditioned to run for 120 minutes in 90 degree heat back in the 1970s. I was younger, I was smart. Well, not much smarter, but I was. I was committed. And we were committed to one thing. There'd be no team would outrun us or outlast us on that soccer field. We would be the ones standing at the end of the end of the game in this heat. We were the ones who would be fit and ready to go. We made that choice. We made that decision. So when coach came to practice for two hours and did not bring out one soccer ball, and we knew. Oh, running today, conditioning today. Oh, my gosh. But we knew why? Because the choice was made. The decision was made. We choose to do what it takes to be unforgettable on the soccer field. But that now begs the question. Darren, as presenters, for those who listen to our podcast every week, what choices do we need to make to be unforgettable as presenters?

Yeah. Again, I love that quote by Patricia Fripp. So an unforgettable presenter is an imperfect presenter. You don't have to be perfect, but you're striving to be unforgettable. I'm so inspired. Inspired by some of our mentors, Mark, who continue to be sponges even this podcast. This is something that we chose to do that would help people know about us. We could help people. But now we can sit down with some of the best presenters in the world. Our curiosity keeps us striving. So, yes, we came up with a list of maybe a checklist to see if you truly have made the choice to be unforgettable. So, Mark, what do we got?

Well, you know what, it may sound odd, but number one for me, it's listening to podcasts. And I've appeared on several podcasts. But I do also listen to other podcasts to hear other presenters, what style they have, what material they bring. We have friends who host podcasts, and listening to other podcasts often bring. Aha. Hmm. Here's an idea I could try that. Let me contact that person. So being open to hear other presenters, other material, different perspectives is helpful to, and we believe, helpful to you also to listen to other podcasts. It's great to be asked to be a part of one. But then you listen, you go, ah, that's a good podcast for me to tune into. And it can help me to grow not only as a presenter, but also give me greater knowledge, understanding, and a broader view and a perspective I may not have had. It's part of my education.

Yeah, there's. There's many podcasts out there, some great ones. You happen to be listening to the best one.

Amen.

But by far, it's not the only one. Jay Baer, I've heard awesome things about his podcast. So it's not just this podcast. And that's the difference, too. Check yourself. Are you truly sponging? And maybe podcasts isn't your thing, but it's one kind of check in. Are you on the sideline like I was wanting to be in the game, or are you striving to be in the game, striving to be unforgettable? And now look, Mark, and I use the metaphor of the world championship. Every audience talk about my coaches. Well, meeting planners. If you're unforgettable, they're going to tell other meeting planners. Your best marketing tool is how good you are on stage. Even if you're not trying to, quote, unquote, get paid as a $80 million speaker. Whatever level you're at, if you're striving to be there, if you have a message that you care to give a TED Talk, well, don't just give a TED Talk. There's tens of thousands of them out there. Do an unforgettable TED Talk. Well, what does that take. Well, take a listen to the list, Mark.

Also this. You mentioned podcasts. What about this, Darren? Reading books, reading articles, or reading blogs from other individuals, that can be a wonderful source of not just information, but also inspiration. You and I read each other's blogs. I know that. And newsletters. But there's so many other material out there. There are good book. And if you don't want to read a book, then get audible or get a system whereby you can get access to information. I know you mentioned a book on storytelling that was written by Kendra hall, which I happen to have on Audible. So I be cutting my grass. Guess what? I got my ear, my earbuds in. I got my cans on my ears and I'm listening and making notes. Because when you read or when you listen, you are receiving more information, more inspiration, and you get a technique. Oh, I can use a foundry story here. That'd be so awesome. I'll change the way I present that idea. And now this one particular tool or tip can help me. Because you may have arrived or be very skilled at what you do does not mean you cannot continue to learn. If you're a minister, do you listen to other ministers, presentations, other pastors, other teachers. Can they help you to become better as you deliver your presentation? If you're a business presenter, do you listen to business speakers and what they have to say? Do you watch, Listen to. Scott McCain has a wonderful daily distinction that he puts out on the web. We interviewed Scott several months ago, several weeks ago for our podcast as well. So having access to these podcasts and blogs and articles and books that people have can be very, very helpful to help you to become better. But you have to choose to educate yourselves using these media.

Yeah. And it's whether it's podcasts, articles, reading books, listening to books, it's how are you reading, how are you listening? Are you listening for tips or are you listening for transformation? Are you listening for tips? Ooh, I could pick up a couple tips. Are you like, ooh, I really wanna get this. How do they look at things? And look, if you find a podcast that you kind of like, but then after a while you realize you're not getting a lot from it, check out find another one. Find another one. So be listening to two or three find articles, be that sponge. But being a spong challenge is a choice. It's not just getting tips. It's listening with transformation in mind, your own transformation. So you can be unforgettable, so you can leave your message on the hearts and the minds. And I get. I just. I'm so inspired by that quote by Fripp. It's the striving. Are you reading it to strive? Are you listening to strive?

What's also obvious, Darren, number three, in terms of being clear and intentional, is getting coached. Now, not every presenter is at a very high level. Some are very high level, some are not. But even if you're at a high level, it's okay to say, you know what, get coached. Better yet, I recommend you say, I choose to continue to get coached. We did a whole podcast episode. I think it was 14. Yes. On finding the right coach for you, Darren, and it's worth checking out. But if you choose to continually improve, be intentional about it. Darren, I know you're very big on what is your intent behind what you do, but if I say I will consult with that person, and I want them to work with me to help me to be even better. As good as I am. When I won the Toastmasters world title in 1995, I thought, man, this is awesome. And so many people were, mark, you're wonderful. You're a great keynote speaker. Come talk to us here. Come do this here. I felt that I was in a great place. Place. But I did never forget I had my master mentor, David Brooks. I could always go back to him because you know what? As good as I was. And Darren, you know, in the Toastmasters world, you win the world Championship, you are revered, you are highly risk. But I had only begun that journey, so I had to choose to continue to be coach. But question is this. Have you chosen to be coached or are you growing incrementally, as Darren says in the DIY world? But we choose to get the kind of coaching that will elevate your presentation but elevate you as a person. So when you give your gift to your audience, it's done with excellence and makes you that much more unforgettable.

Yeah. I think what we also have to consider is, like, look, if you aren't in a financial place that you can afford a coach, find somebody who might be willing to coach you. Maybe if you're in Toastmasters, a fellow Toastmaster who's starting as a coach, someone you can afford. If you want to check out getaspeakingcoach.com we list all the coaches in Stagetime University. Go check that out. But ask around to your friends or your colleagues who are presenters. It may not be a lifetime commitment with them, but create that relationship. So I think coaching versus just asking for help. We'll get to that in a minute is is a relationship. It's that person that you're open to that you really want their insights. Even though sometimes it might hurt because we don't want the hurt. Because then it's like, ooh, we have some work to do. We don't want more work. But if you choose to be unforgettable, you're choosing to do some more work to go deeper in your style, in your delivery, in your thought process, in your analogies. GetASpeakingCoach.com Ask around, find out who's a great speaker coach in your area. Check out episode 14 for sure. Because we go really deep on choosing the right person. And that's the other reason in stagetime University we have our weekly coaching call much more affordable than a personal world class coach. And we coach our members and Mark talk a little bit about this week's coaching call. I know that was we reached another level but what do you think? Think was that made this week's call just at a whole different level?

Yeah. Well, for those who don't know, we do a weekly coaching call at stage time where we have individuals who have submitted videotapes to be reviewed. In this case we have people leaving giving us some live input and we have coaches who on the spot provide feedback and direction and correction to the speaker. And one presenter had a dilemma this past week and share the concerns. Why do A, B or C. And when the coaching staff began to dig a little deeper and really get inside their heart and their mind, we could see the transformation take place live on the screen. There was a couple of Kleenex moments there. But what happened was the coaching brought out from the depths of this individual's spirit the message they really needed to deliver. We have several individuals who were also on the coaching call seeing this play out in real time, posting comments in the chat and it was overwhelming. The show of love support agreement. It was truly a different level of community that we experienced this week. And it goes to show when we decide we want to get coached, we submit ourselves to get coached. We choose to be coached. What can happen? Here's a kicker, Darren. The individual who I'm talking about is also a coach. And here is a coach who wanted to get coach who chose to get coached and in the process grew in half another in ways that are just fantastic. And I can't wait to hear the result of the new version of your speech when it is delivered. That can really be transformational.

Yeah, I remember our friend Geeta from nsa. We talk about her Quote, sometimes that a coach can find what's inside you that you can't find by yourself. And I think that's part of the value of that. If you want to know more about stage time and being a part of those calls, just go to masteringpublicspeaking.com masteringpublicspeaking.com so, Mark, what else we got on our list?

Well, you just said mastering. And for some, it's a mastermind. You choose with whom you want to collaborate. So I'd say mastermind collaboration is helpful. I can vividly recall when I was a new NSA member National Speaker Association. It had to be between 15 and 20 years ago. I went to an NSA event, a convention, and I sat at a table during a break with Otis Williams Jr. Who's a Toastmasters 1993 world champion of public speaking. And there was another gentleman there. And the conversation centered around taking this new story, molding it, crafting it, and making it more effective, more powerful, and more impactful. So There's Otis Williams Jr. 93 world champion, Mark Brown, recent 95 world champion, and Les Brown hall of Fame speaker, living legend in the speaking world. And we are all together collaborating on how to make one single story better, to put it back into a keynote and the make it more impactful. And the growth I experienced, even though I am a respected world champion, but being in the midst of another world champion and a legend speaker, collaborating, working together, that was a choice I made that day and what a powerful choice it was for me. Because I know when I collaborate with people who are as good and better than I am, and trust me, there are those who are better. When I make that choice, I can't help but grow. But I may say, ooh, Les Brown, dude, legend. I'm gonna back off. I don't wanna do that. No, no, listen, you wanna choose. You don't want. You don't want to be the smartest person in the circle. You wanna collaborate and mastermind with people who will bring you to a higher height and you pass that on and choose to collaborate with others and bring them to higher heights as well.

Aaron, I have no chance to be the smartest guy in the room. That. I got that nailed. Nailed it. No, but I agree with what you're saying. It's a mastermind. I'm in a couple mastermind groups, and I even remember the night before I was presenting at NSA, the National Speakers association back in 2002, when I was asked to give my championship speech on the NSA stage, which hadn't Been done before. The night before, I sat down with Michael on past world champion Ed Tate, and I think there were a couple others. And it was just like this. Okay, here's this moment that happened in front of everyone. How can I tie it into my speech? Because it was a funny, emotional moment, and I just, okay, how can we do this? How can we do this? And it was that mastermind. So it's different from a coach. A mastermind is different. But if you're all in, if you choose to be unforgettable, you're going to seek out these masterminds at as well. There's just. There's so much to this, and there's so much that can come out of it. And sometimes the masterminding moment might come up in a moment that you didn't see it coming. And then you find yourself having lunch or having dinner with great speakers from different areas of the world or different parts of the industry. It's like, perfect. They have different perspective than maybe your background or your corner of the industry. So ask the question, say, hey, I'm working on this story, and here's what I'm trying to do, or, hey, I'm trying to create a foundational phrase. That's one of the reasons even, you know, stage time, we have that Facebook community, which is just stage time members, and they collaborate, they ask questions. I know Rich Hopkins has his Facebook, the finalists, you know, which is another great place to have that collaboration. So find that place, whether it's live, whether it's a moment, whether it's an ongoing mastermind, but just a great way to kind of check yourself to see if you're truly committed. That's another way to grow.

Yeah, Darren, you know, here's a fifth choice we can make. And some may say, I don't know if I want to go that route. And we have webinars, seminars, and workshops. Now, some people are workshop junkies. I get that. But if you are focusing on. On growth and being unforgettable, you want to consider, look around. We get offers. We see LinkedIn, we see Facebook, we see Twitter, we see Instagram. We always see things coming across our page that says, oh, free webinar, free workshop, or join us. And we also have workshops and webinars ourselves. But don't think you have arrived. And you don't need a workshop or webinar. You may see a workshop or webinar on how to master a platform that you use for a virtual presentation. And you know what? It might be worth your while to Invest an hour, an hour and a half and attend that webinar and learn something new about how to handle that platform well. So you take your powerful material, you marry that to your expertise of the platform, and then when you deliver, then you are unforgiven. But don't think I don't need the webinar. I don't need a seminar. I know what I'm doing. You can always learn something new, right, Darren?

Yeah. It could also be what not to do. Sometimes you can learn from other people's mistakes. So. But if you're striving, you're looking for what could I use, what could I model, what should I not do? But if you're striving, there's just a different mindset and intention that you bring to everything. And that's why I just think this could be the most important episode that we cover because you're going to get some tips and ideas and strategies from others, but it's what you bring to that tip.

Mark, I want to say this too. When you go to a seminar, webinar workshop, I don't want to say that's the only way to hear other speakers. I'm going to say number six is listen to other speakers, not just attending a seminar, webinar or workshop. You can be intentional about who you listen to. When I say webinar seminars and attending if you get the opportunity to be a part of one, especially in the virtual environment, it might be worth your while to do that because you could learn a new platform. And Darren, you and I have learned different platforms in the last several months.

Whether we wanted to or not.

Yeah. What in the world is Streamyard live on Facebook? Didn't know what that was. Had to do it for Vietnam. You did too. And recently there's a new platform called Hop in and several NSA speakers kind of collaborated and got together and put on a virtual speaker showcase. I was part of that showcase, had a great deal of fun, learned a lot, saw some mistakes. But you were among people who came and attended that conference to listen to me and other speakers. Now, of course I feel pretty good that Taryn Lacroix came to hear me speak. But even after hour long relationship, chances are you may hear something from me or a different speaker, ah, that could help me to be better on the platform or how to use this new platform differently. So make the effort, choose who you want to listen to. How can I learn from them? I said earlier, if you're a minister, we know some who listen are pastors. You may have Particular ministers whose techniques, whose styles, whose illustrations are helpful. We have featured two ministers in our podcast here. We featured Vince Antonucci, who's actually an author, and we also featured Manly Miller. Manly Miller. Yes, Manly Miller. And I know that many ministers, they listen to other ministers. We've had great teachers like Maxwell, who was a pastor's pastor. And we can look and listen and gain insight, also learn technique and how to master different things. But you choose who can help you. Not to imitate them, but to learn from them. Because if someone hears you speak and they hear someone else's technique, style and voice, you aren't being authentic, but you choose to listen. What can I learn? What can I glean? What can I adopt and adapt to help me be the best that I can be? And by paying attention to other presenters whose style may match your own and quite frankly, whose style may not match your own, you can see your own points of weakness and see where you can build on your strengths and magnify them. And again, you can become truly unforgettable, not just for your style, but for the style which makes your delivery of your powerful material even that much more effective.

And that striving, too, Mark, can come like we're saying how you're listening. So when I was studying the previous world champions, I remember watching Ed Tate's speech over and over again. Like, you can watch something once, but are you studying it with that striving intent? And I remember it was like the fourth or the fifth, fifth time that I went through his speech, I started realizing I'm like, whoa, wait a minute. This is a different structure than any other speech I've seen. It was one story, beginning to end. And I thought, wow, that's different. And then I saw some little verbal stumbles, some little mistakes. It's such a good speech. And I got so wrapped up in it the first couple of run throughs that I didn't notice his verbal stumbles. But when I did the third and fourth time, I was like, oh, I don't have to be perfect. So if you are striving, you're going to come out with ahas when you go deep and study them a second, a third, a fourth time. I studied 10 years of contest videos, nine contestants. That's 90 world class speeches. To see what was the difference between the person who came in first and the person who came in second. So I can tell you what I learned and you can take away that tip, but you'll never know it the way I know it, because I was the One striving. And sometimes I forget, sometimes I got to get back to that. But it was a great example that I think might help people as you listen to this.

Well, Darren, you're right. And it's funny you mentioned watching 90s speeches. This idea, idea number seven may seem a little unpopular, but what about listening to, to and watching yourself?

What.

So many of our clients now are telling me, listen, record yourself on video and watch yourself. And they go, step one, they record the video on their phone, their iPad, and then you watch the video, oh, I can't watch myself. It's so painful. When you listen to and watch yourself, you have to shift your mindset. Now, many of us listen to and watch ourselves to see what we have done wrong or what we can improve. And there's nothing wrong with that. I encourage that. But please consider this. When you listen to and watch yourself, you may see what you do well, and that's. Those are things you can pass on to others who may come to you for guidance. But listening to and watching yourselves yourself will give you a benchmark. You can track your own progress. If you record a video, your very first time presenting, and you record everything you do in six months, if you are well coached in a program like Stage Time, and you look at your first time presenting, and six months later, you will see the difference. And sometimes we're afraid to look at ourselves. So this little hint is you want to strive to be unforgettable. You have to choose to bite the bullet and watch yourself. It can be so helpful, so awful. And, Darren, you went, ooh, when I said, watch yourself on video, why is that?

Because it's painful. I had to do that as a telemarketer at Bose Corporation, my quote, unquote day job. As I pursued my dream, it was required that I had to sit down with my boss, and I hated it. But when I would sit and listen with him and he'd be like, what did you think of that? I was like, I wouldn't buy anything from that guy. I called back to that when my mentor said, you got to watch yourself. You don't like it. Trust us, you don't like it. But when you can go from not liking it to, how can I use this to help my next audience? It's just one moment in time. Don't beat yourself up. It's the identity, Andy. If you choose to keep it, if you stop striving, if you unchoose, you're boom. You just plateaued. Congratulations. As Mike Rayburn says in episode two, or three there. He said the only way to coast is downhill. That's what we mean by continue striving. And Mark, you know I always say from the stage when I tell people, record yourself every time, they always go, oh, I don't want to record myself. I hate to listen. Well, guess what? We had to listen. What makes you so special? You should be duct taped to a chair and forced to listen. But seriously, if you won't listen to yourself, you're. In my opinion, you haven't chose, you haven't made that choice to be unforgettable. It's painful, I get it. It was painful for me too. But at the same time, that's what it takes to be unforgettable.

Yes. And you know, when you make that decision, that choice, there are other things you're going to do as well. Here's my number eight. You mentioned earlier that we have several Toastmasters. And Toastmasters for me has been a wonderful place to be. Like a learning lab. I'm a member since 1993, 27 years and I'm still a dues paying, card carrying member of a Toastmasters Club. A Toastmasters Club is one place place that's a great learning lab. Here's my point number eight. You want to continually choose to test your material, test your changes, test the ideas you want to implement before you face that real live audience, that congregation. You want to test your material. For me, a Toastmasters Club is a great way to test material. And Darren, if I understand your story correctly, technically being in the contest was part of your testing process. You chose to improve the keynotes you were delivering to your corporate audiences. Share that real quickly.

Yeah, it was. The reason I entered the contest wasn't to win. I didn't even know it went past the district. I thought, you win the New England contest, that was it, you were done. But my choice, my choosing to be unforgettable, was to make my keynote better. I was working a day job, paying off my business loans, paying off my college loans and living at home with mom and dad, marketing myself every waking moment. The one thing I wasn't doing was improving my craft. And that's what my mentor said. Take the stories you have and make them so good, someone will pay to hear them. What? And so I chose to join the contest to use that competitive thing to push me to work harder, just like I did the old days of football. To push myself to choose, to strive to be unforgettable. Nobody's going to pay an average speaker a fair amount of Money, you might get 100 or $200 for a speaker if you're average. But I wanted to make it a career. And nobody's going to make a career on $100 a speech, especially getting booked every six months. That's right. So it's just making that. And then you said, also, I don't know if this is another one, Mark, or if this is part of this one and your points, but hearing those little bits of feedback from unknown coaches or let's just say coaches that you didn't see coming, people who are giving you that feedback, who may be unqualified, but they give you that little tip, that little insight, that little thing that you hadn't thought of, that if you dismiss all the feedback, you're missing some gold. Because even though they might not be a coach, they're an audience member, they're listening, and they might just ding. Unlock that little thing that's inside you that just takes it to the next level. Like one person said, you should call your speech out. You should title it Ouch. And I ignored it three or four times. And then finally somebody said it, but I was at the right moment to receive it, and I was like, oh, that's brilliant. Even though other people had told me that before, I just ignored it. You know, when we ignore some feedback, we just had somebody who gave us some feedback on our mastering virtual presentations, and they say, why don't you have a certification? Ding. Never. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, let's look into what that takes. But that came from just a random email from a marketing email about this event.

Yeah, Darren, I'm glad you mentioned that. And I want to jump to point number nine. Before I get there, I want to clarify one thing. When I said Toastmasters. Yes, a Toastmasters Club is a great place to test, but it's not the only place to test. You can find an audience, and for some people, it's their large family. For others, it's their local community organization. Maybe they work with young people. They do a little test of the YMCA kids or the Boys and Girls Club, I don't know. But whatever forum you can find, you have to choose to test. Darren, you told me even the great comedians test their material in certain places real quickly. What can you share about that?

Yeah, I remember my buddy Dave Fitzgerald, before he would go on stage on Evening at the Improv or Caroline's Comedy Hour, the famous TV shows back in the day, he would go to three comedy clubs in a night.

Oh, wow.

Three clubs in a night. He would drive across town, he would work on just his little set. So when you're on a big show like that, it's not like your own HBO special or it's an hour. So he would just work on those five minutes. It would listen to the recording, record himself and go back and tweak it, drive across town, get on stage, do a guest spot at another club, record that, drive across town, do it again. You know, in a bigger city like Boston, there's a lot of comedy clubs driving distance. But why would you not get that feedback? You're number one internalizing it. And I remember hearing Ed Tate, I was inspired by him saying that he would go to a club and he would test one line, just one line, and change that one line so he knows this is the part I'm testing out. And based on the feedback, we ask after, we're the CEO of our speech. So whether it's Toastmasters or a local Rotary Club or a Kiwanis club or local association, just any meeting online, if you ask the right questions, here's what I want to know. You can get gold. Random feedback isn't bad. That's what I'm saying, is we got to listen to that random feedback, but we also got to ask, what did you think of this? What did you think of that? And give them like four basic questions to see what's resonating.

And you actually chose to write out the questions you wanted to ask every club member who attended your rehearsal speeches as you were testing. Your material is critical. It's a choice that you make and how deep you go, again, that's also a choice. And the deeper you dive into these choices, the more chance you give yourself to be unforgettable. That was number eight. There's two more very quickly, nine and ten. Here's number nine. This is a hard one. And I'll use your words, Darren, your words are crave evaluations. Not just accept evaluations or receive. You're saying crave now. I must confess, when you get to a certain level of competency, it's often difficult to ask someone and to crave evaluations. As a ToastMasters World Champion 25 years in, I've been asked to speak at several Toastmasters events, live and also virtual. And recently, I went to a club meeting. We're doing an open house and I was the guest speaker to show what Toastmasters can do for you. And. And the organizer asked me, mark, is it okay if we have one of our members do an evaluation of your 10 to 15 minute speech? Is that okay. Because you know, sometimes you're world champions. Listen, by all means, yes, have them evaluate me as good as I've been told that I am, there's always room for me to learn. And the gentleman gave me a wonderful evaluation, Darren. And actually I wrote down what he had to say. And of course, oh, you're so wonderful. You have good presence and you flowed well with your PowerPoint size. It was powerful. But I want to give you one big, one particular tip. And I literally wrote it down on my sheet of paper. And he said this. In your pacing, if you slowed down a smidge and used your pauses a little more effectively, especially in a virtual environment, virtually, it would have been that much more effective. One tip pacing, slow down a smidge, use your pauses more effectively, would have improved your presentation. Now, I could say I'm a 25 year world champion, whatever, but I wrote everything he said and I took that. And I know in myself there are times I get excited and my pacing kind of gets lost and I speak too quickly and I have to slow myself down. That was a valid observation. I received it, I've begun to, to apply it and I'm thankful for it. So please, my friends, listen. You have to crave feedback. As Darren said, it may not come from the world's best number one speaker. It may come from somebody in your audience who was impacted by what you said. And that one tip they give you can transform the way you present, but you have to choose to crave the feedback.

Yeah, you've got to almost evaluate it. Like, could this help? Could this help? They might not be a world class coach, but they just, like Geeta said, they might just tap in and unlock a little piece of your thinking or your story that you didn't even see coming. Or if we talk about this with Ed Tate a lot, that open loop, sometimes you open a loop you're not even aware of. So whatever happened to that red Wagner dragon? Or you know, whatever happened to your big sister? Like, oops. So we've got to crave it and listen to it, be open to it. Now, we may dismiss most of it. That's okay. You're striving. Only when you consider, would this really make it better. Now trust me, sometimes I have to catch myself. It's like, yeah, go ahead. Because I don't want to do more work. I'm busy enough building, building the business and trying to help the members. So we've got to catch ourselves. But when we're striving, we realize, okay, what's best for our next audience and the number 10.

Thank you, Darren. Number 10 for striving. And I know, Darren, you're a fan of this one. It's simply asking for someone to give you some guidance. Not the same as being coached. For example, in 2000 at the Toastmasters Convention, Darren, you noticed I had gone. It was in fountain blue Hilton in Miami beach, and I had gone to the beach that day, and torrential rain began to fall. I hurry inside the hotel. It's 67 degrees in the hotel lobby. I've got ripping wet shorts down over my shoulder, and a gentleman comes to me to ask me a question. Hey, Mark, I'm in the contest. Can I ask you a question? I said, sure. And 45 minutes later, I'm there standing with goosebumps on responding to more questions that Ed Tate had asked me. The same Ed Tate who went on the following day to win the Toastmasters World Championship. He did not feel too ashamed. He chose to ask. He saw the opportunity and he said, listen, do you mind? And sometimes all it takes is. Hey, hey, Darren, get a minute. Could I ask you a question? I see someone like Mark Sanborn or Mistreatment. Could I ask you a question? I confess, Darren, there are times I get on the phone, I call the legend Jeannie Robertson, and I ask her questions. I said, oh, Mark, you're so kind and so sweet to ask me, Mark, I tell you what I do. Very poor impersonation, but you get the idea. And Jeannie was our guest three episodes ago on the podcast with amazing results. Great following. The point being, if you don't choose to add, you will never get the answer to that one question. That might be the one answer that can transform you from being good or great to being unforgettable. So don't be afraid or ashamed to ask. And if you do that, you never know what the result could be.

Mark, who was it that we had on recently that said that they recorded themselves every time and then went back and watched it?

It may have been David Henderson. I'm not sure. It may have been David Henderson.

Yeah, that's right. It was David Henderson. And I know Jeannie talks about working on her stories over and over again, and that's what unforgettable presenters do. So if you meet an unforgettable presenter, ask them, hey, by the way, I'm working on this. Or, hey, what books do you recommend? What articles do you think were helpful? What do you think? Now, if they're an unforgettable presenter, chances are they've studied this they've learned, they've had coach who coached you. So by asking them some questions, you're gonna get some new insights that could unlock more of your unforgettable potential. Sometimes we forget, and if we unchoose, if we unchoose to be unforgettable, it changes our delivery. So your ego can diminish your impact. Your ego can diminish your impact, which means you might have been unforgettable. But then if you start coasting, like Mike Rayburn says, all of a sudden when you're striving, you're inspiring the people around you. People see you hungry and eager, and it encourages them to do more. But when you think you've made it, you're plateauing. And now that affects your delivery because you think. Think it's good enough. Well, that you just. You're no longer hungry. I'm a big New England Patriots Tom Brady fan, and now I'm going through the emotional recovery of him going to Tampa Bay. But, hey, he earned it. He doesn't owe New England anything. He can do what he wants. He did a lot for us. But I just. I'm amazed. After a Super bowl, he's striving for that next one. He's still looking at tapes longer than anybody now. Forgive me if you're not a Patriots or a Tom Brady fan. I'm sorry. Don't hate me. I grew up with the Steve Grogan years when we always struggled and we barely made the playoffs. But anyway, the point is, we've got to continue to be hungry and strive.

That's right. And I want to recap real quickly, Darian, what those 10 points are. You want to choose first to listen to podcasts. Number two, read books, articles, blogs, even do them electronically. Number three, get coached. And again, we recommend episode 14, how to find the right coach for you. Number four, collaborate. Be a part of a mastermind. Number five, choose carefully. Seminars, webinars, workshops that can help you to be unforgettable. Number six, listen to other speakers, particularly those those in your industry who can give you guidance and help and model what can help you to be unforgettable. Number seven, Ouch. Listen to and watch yourself honestly, openly and critically. Number eight, test, test, test. Be it Toastmasters, Rotary, or any other environment. Number nine, crave evaluations and do not let your ego get in the way. And number 10, ask. It can make a difference if you choose to change, if you choose to open your mind. If you choose, you can be unforgettable. Aaron?

Yeah? A couple resources we mentioned if you're looking for a coach, go check out getaspeakingcoach.com and there's all of them and their ninja skills. In fact, we put the podcast episode right at the top of that page to get people to understand. Here's how you go about choosing it. And then if you want to check out stagetime University, we have those live calls. I think that's one of the big differentiators in what we created because we're trying to help people. Well, you can't just take a course and be unforgettable. You got to take a course, try it, get some insights for some qualified coaches. And so that's why every week we have those. You can check out masteringpublicspeaking.com mastering publicspeaking.com but remember this, it is a choice. Choose to be unforgettable. And maybe you don't do all 10 of these things, but maybe you do two more than you have been doing. Or maybe you bring that mindset to everything you do, to craving feedback, to asking questions, bringing that unforgettable mindset again. Patricia Frisco. An unforgettable presenter is an imperfect presenter striving to be unforgettable.

Hey, we'll catch you next week. We'll see you on stage, we'll see you online. Remember, be unforgettable.

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