Ep. 75 The Blessings in Your Battles

Hey, Darren Lacroix. How are you, buddy?

Doing good, man. Doing good. Doing ready for battle.

You know, I'm glad you said that, because when recording this podcast right now, so many people have been going through a battle for almost a year, and they're still going through it. But I found out if we shift our perspective, we can find their blessings in our battles.

Yes. And we have the only profession, I believe, where everything that bad that happens to you. Cool. I can use that in a presentation.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the Unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Your life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix.

And Darren Lacroix, stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation, Ahas. Let's dive right in.

Yeah, Darren, man, we're recording this in the end of January 2021, and, man, what a year it has been for all of us, for everyone around the world, dealing with the pandemic and so much going on. And I got to tell you, Darren, it's very easy right now to look at our battles and kind of focus on them. And I got to confess, I've been tempted to do just that. But I'm so glad I have you to bounce ideas off. And I know we talked about this a little bit, that there actually can be blessings in our battles. And if we as presenters learn to look at those and not only look at them, but to look for them, to find them, we can use those as powerful tools as agents of hope to bless our audiences. What do you think, Darren?

Yeah, I think sometimes we forget that it is the battle that we went through that we overcame that is our credibility. Like my story on learning to be funnier, it's not nearly as powerful as if I was born funny. It's like, oh, here's a funny person wanting to be a comedian. Well, there's no challenge. There's no conflict. So we had an episode we did before about conflict, and we've also talked about finding those tragedies, those things in your life, if you want, go back and check those out as well. But we thought it would really be important as a reminder to everyone what you're going through right now or what you've recently been through. That is part of why we want to hear from you, because it gives you credibility. It gives you. It opens my ears to Want to hear your story?

Yeah. You know, the thing is, we all go through battles. And I know I did point out the pandemic and so on, and we're all struggling with that, but each of us individually have our own personal battles. And if you're like me, you don't want the whole world to know what you're going through, but we got to go through these. But look back at the lessons we learned by going through the battle, and sometimes we need to also shift our perspective. And in the middle of a battle, we're going through what good has happened, what blessings have taken place. You know, you look at the last year, for example, I'll share one of my experiences. I look back on the year 2020, and so many things have gone wrong. You know, business tanked and everything shifted, everything changed, and people tell me their same stories. But in the middle of all of that, I had what I call my daddy's delight. I told you about this, Darren. I got to perform my daughter's wedding ceremony right here in central Georgia. I got to not only give her to a man I know loves her and whom she loves, but I got to perform the ceremony. That's a once in a lifetime experience in the middle of all I'm going through. And the cool part is it took place four days after my birthday, so my daughter's wedding kind of upstaged my birthday. I can look at that, I can love that, I can laugh at that, and I can share that with people who, who hear my story. In the middle of all I'm going through, I'm finding joy, and I'm looking for those experiences that not only bless me, but I can use to inspire and bless other people.

Yeah, I remember when I was speaking to NSA in Austin, Texas. I think it was National Speakers association, the Austin, Texas chapter. And it was a year and a half or so ago when I was going through a battle with just finances. I was working really hard. My business was moving forward, money was coming in, but more was going out. And I wasn't taking inventory on what was happening in my marketing. I was just. Because I saw the money coming in, I didn't worry about it, even though the. The bank account was going down, down, down. And I remember telling a story about that that I literally told my team. I don't know if I'm going to hit payroll next week.

Wow.

And I remember just being authentic about it and just saying, hey, here's what we go through, because sometimes at any convention or conference, the person comes in and I was the guy to learn from, and I realized that there's people who are struggling, who are going through a battle right now, and we may be on the other side of that battle, but they need to know about our scars. They need to know about the challenges we had and how big bad it really was. Because I know in Toastmasters and nsa, there's a lot of positivity. We need that encouragement, but sometimes we don't hear the whole story. And I remember telling that story, and I could just feel connected. Like, I was so connected. I remember Mark walking in the hallway after just getting ready to leave, and a woman came up to me and she was crying, and she said, thank you. I needed to hear that. Because oftentimes we look at the experts and we think, oh, they got it easy. And then we look at ourselves and we're like, I'm not making it. I don't know if I got what it takes. Maybe I should quit. Maybe I should find something else. So I think it's because of the middle of the battle, and I was willing to be open and share that, that it connected me. So sometimes those babies, battles, those down points, the getting stabbed, the getting smacked down and knocked down, that's exactly what your audience needs to hear. They don't want to hear about the person who's special and made it and never had a challenge their whole life. That's a boring movie. I don't want to go watch that. Well, as a speaker and presenter, we have this huge opportunity, and I think most people, their ego gets in the way, and I've had that at times myself. I needed that reminder. And just seeing that woman looking me in the face, crying, tears in her eyes and saying, thank you for telling me that I needed to hear that today.

Wow, that's awesome, man. You know, there you were at like a nadir or a low part of your career, and you shared a story that literally lifted somebody else. And I know you subscribe to the belief that we as presenters are merchants of hope. And sometimes the hope we give is not just telling how bad our battle is. Because you know what? I find people often say, how you doing? Well, not so great, man. I tell you, the dog died, you know, the cat ran away, and my mother in law came home. And I don't mean to mash my man. I have a wonderful mother in law. I proclaim to the world she is awesome and funny as all get out, but your life is gonna play out like a sad country music song to be cliche, but on A serious note. That's where we are. And we see those things. I'll put it to you this way. I spent 20 years in junior and senior high schools talking to kids about relationships, how we treat each other, the words that we use with a strong anti bullying component. And I meet with kids after my assembly and they say, man, the whole school hates me. And what you're saying is there are four or five really charismatic type A kids who are the lions and the other pride, and they abuse and torment me. And that translates to them as the entire school because the voice they hear is just those kids who constantly torment them. And I try and ask kids, okay, I understand that. I really feel bad about that. Let me ask you this. Who is your favorite teacher? Oh, Ms. Johnson. What class is that? Oh, drama. I love drama. Really? Yeah. I was at a school play last year. And as the child begins to look at one positive amidst this awful place called school and anybody here who has ever been 13, you know what that's like. But I get that child to look at one positive, Ms. Johnson in drama class and how much they love it. And we end the conversation, the kid is actually smiling half the time. And it reminded me that very often we are so much in the midst of our mess, we forget to look for the blessings. So if number one, we look for the blessing, and number two, as presenters, we find a way to use that blessing in the midst of our battle and then share that with our eager audience. What we don't know is there's always someone somewhere in some audience who's battling too. And if we can teach people to look for the blessings in the middle of the battle, you might find there are stories there you forgot about. So I know I will forever tell the story of my daughter's wedding in 2020. I'll forever tell the story of me going to England to watch the real football, use a foot to kick a ball in England with my son. I will tell those stories because though the battle is raging, there are blessings. The operative word here, I want to leave with everybody is the word seek. I'm going to ask you in the middle of your mess, in the brunt of your battle, I'm going to ask you to seek the blessings. It may be a small one, but when you find it and you tell that story and you work that story and you hear that story, you can be that agent of hope that lifts somebody up in the middle of their battle.

Yeah, Mark. And I think if you remember my you hero's journey keynote, that I did several years ago. I talked about the gift card. And I think, remember that when you're going through a battle, you're handed a gift card. But the only true way to redeem that gift card is when you share it with someone else. See, my battle becomes their blessing.

Ooh, I gotta write that down.

My battle becomes their blessing. And our buddy, Craig Valentine, fellow world champion and just amazing storyteller, teacher, he always has a. He's got a great little illustration about if you did the old days pay per view and you pay for a fight and everybody's over and you're sharing popcorn and beer and laughing and you're there to watch the fight, and all of a sudden the fight stops, the TV goes out, and then 10 minutes later it comes on and you see who's the winner. It's like, wait, we paid to see the battle. It's the battle they're paying for. It's not just the end result. When a friend, you know, a friend knows you're loving a soccer game. By the way, I can't believe you brought that up. The week before the Super Bowl. Football. Soccer.

Listen, for the record, I'm not big on a Super bowl, but I like a good bowl of soup.

Oh, boy.

First bad joke of the day. I'm sorry, fans, friends.

I'm not even gonna do the trombone noise on that one. But it's truly the fact that we went through the battle. That's why people want to hear about us, because we went through it and we came out the other side. I mean, we talk about some of our friends who've gone through and done TEDx talks. Like Rena, who talked about her abuse and how she is so open and so transparent about it, and yet her battle was painful. It's still painful. She carries that. But when she gives it in a TEDx talk and helps other people, I remember her sending the emails. And we talk about it in our program, unforgettable Presentations. How other people say that your ability to talk about it has given them some final sleep at night.

That's great.

When they had sleep at night. And I just think that the battles are our battles. But as a presenter, we get to share the battles, but we got to share the scars and the scrapes and the bumps and the bruises. Otherwise, why are you there? It is that conflict. So please, there are blessings in the middle of your battles, especially when you share it with somebody who's in the middle of the battle.

Yeah. And I would urge everyone, maybe you're in a really Heavy battle right now. But ask yourself seriously, how am I changing? How have I changed? What am I learning? What have I learned? Okay. How am I changing? How have I changed? What am I learning? What have I learned? And in the midst of this, in what way have I been a blessing to someone else? In the midst of my battle, in what way or ways have I been a blessing to someone else? You answer those five questions, you have material for a presentation that could be your next inspirational keynote. How am I changing? How have I changed? What am I learning? What have I learned? In the midst of my battle? What kind of blessing have I been to somebody else? Write this down. Ponder it. Spend some time on this. You have the nucleus of your next inspirational keynote right there.

Yeah. I'm going to add a sixth question. Mark. Who helped you? Who came alongside you? Who gave you a hand up? Because I think when you're in the middle of it. So right now, I'm on this mission to have my movie created. That's my new big dream, and I'm doing exactly what you're talking about. Mark. Before we got on this podcast, I was taking notes of things that happened to me this week. Lessons that I learned, how a new direction came from one conversation, how somebody I didn't even reach out to saw what I put on Facebook and reached out to me and handed me a blessing that I would have never even pursued. And it was just handed to me, but I was out there doing it, and I'm sharing my battle as I go. So my sequel is being written right now. And for those of you listening, when I told Mark I was on this mission, I asked him, mark, who would play you in the movie? And he didn't even hesitate. Denzel.

Oh, man. I'm not gonna touch that.

So I'm reaching out to Denzel. Hopefully somebody's listening. And if we could get Denzel to play Mark Brown, he'd have to work on the voice a little, but, you know.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, my. I really appreciate what you just said, because in our teaching, when we teach people about writing, keynotes, even our toastmasters, clients who come to us to learn, we talk about having a guru in your story. You can't be your own hero, your own guru. You don't do everything by yourself. There's always someone and even an inanimate object who taught you, who inspired you, who showed you the way, who gave you a lesson. The guru is a blessing in your battle. Don't discount the value of the role. He, she, or it plays it could be your pet dog, who knows? But there can be blessings in the middle of the battle. And on a very serious note, for those who are pet owners and pet pet lovers, on a very serious note, you know that sometimes we say a dog is a man's best friend or a person's best friend. You know, there are times when having that pet in your life has been for you literally a sanity saver and a life preserver. And maybe you never thought to talk about that. You may think it's too cheesy. Nobody wants to hear a pet story. But the power of the pet might be the blessing in your battle.

The power of the pet might be.

The blessing in your battle as well.

You're in.

All kidding aside, I mean, you mentioned Zoe a lot. You're a mascot there, right? We can laugh and we joke. We do our two day programs and she shows up and she smiles and everything, but I have no clue what it may mean to you or your team member, Regina. And there'd be people out there right now who do have maybe even a seeing eye dog or a helping animal that means the world to them and gets them through their struggle of just trying to get around. Share the blessings in your battle. Because you never know the value or power they may have when you tell those stories to people with whom you connect every single day by living the life you live.

Yeah, Mark. And you know, we teach people about a story file, and I'm actually gonna. We've never talked about this before. This was a new subject we want to just dive into. And we dove. So here's an idea. Take battle notes. If you're going through a battle right now, write down key phrases, unexpected blessings along the way. People who came alongside you that unexpectedly, they became that, let's say, unknown guru that helped you. And that's literally what I'm doing now. It's like I have a spreadsheet of notes of all the things that are happening. I don't know what part of the story I'll tell now, but I'm in the middle of the battle. And it's exciting when you realize, ooh, this is going to be good someday. It ain't right now, but someday. But you're gonna tell a better story if you take better notes.

Yeah. The term I've heard often used is battle scars. Back in the old Shakespeare play Henry V, Henry V is doing a soliloquy before he goes to battle to inspire his people. One of the great motivational speeches ever, Henry V before the battle of Agincourt That's a G I n C O U R T. When Henry V gives a speech, he talks about what's going to happen when we win this battle and we go back home years from now. And he says, those who fought with us then shall he strip his sleeve and show his scars and say, these wounds I had on St Christian's Day. These wounds, these scars. It sounds poetic, but think about this. Your battle scars, which you record in your battle book, are reminders of what you've been through. And if you look at them and say, you know what? I wear this proudly because I was blessed. In the middle of that, you talk about who was back to back with you as fight the battle. Who was fighting with you. You know, what you overcame. Look for the blessings. You know, you're on a battlefield, you see a gardenia or a rose. What are the roses on your battlefield that you'd fail to notice along the way because you're so busy fighting? Where is the wedding in the middle of your financial disaster? You know, where's the time spent with a loved one when the whole world is going crazy? Look for those blessings in your battles. Compile them, share them, use them. I want to hear those stories. I want to be uplifted by the story. In the middle of all of this, you saw that. And hopefully I'll be inspired to not only remember, but to seek out and look for blessings with whatever battle I may face. And I can use them to help somebody else who's battling right now.

Mark Brown, Shakespeare. Well, in a podcast. I love you, brother. I love you. You just popp popped right in. Bam. It fit. That's like mic drop right there. Boom. Oh, man.

Appreciate that.

Can't touch this.

Well, you know, going to school in Jamaica with English background, you had to, you know, do Shakespeare and Thomas Hardy. And you think I'm better than words. Thomas Hardy was so loquacious, I had to read my book and my dictionary side by side because every page had a new vocabulary word. And I don't want to digress, but for many people, just going to school is a battle. What are the blessings there? I mean, to think of every area of your life you may consider to be a battle. There are blessings there. There are blessings there. Mine them, find them, use them, share them, inspire us by them.

Yeah, I'm actually started listening to a guided meditation, Deepak Chopra, and he's got this saying in the meditation. He says, everything that happens to you is a choice. But between a grievance and a miracle, choose the miracle, I just think that's brilliant. And as you go through your battle, please take notes because it's going to help someone else the more specificity you have. And go back and look for the blessings. I guarantee, I guarantee.

There you go.

That in any of your battles there were some blessings if you look for them, as Mark said, seek.

And the cool part is this, Darren, I believe if we embrace this now, we can look back and find the blessings we had that we didn't notice or recognize or acknowledge. But I can almost guarantee life will continually present us battles of different kinds, of different sorts at different times. But now, as we go forward, when the battle comes, if we're prepared to look for the blessing, I think one, we may handle the next battle differently, better. And two, we'll be more equipped to find those blessings, mind those blessings, record those blessings. So going forward we will face battles differently, we'll go through them differently and we'll find ways to use our blessings in our battles to bless others as well.

And when you find the battles, you'll find the blessings if you look for them. And that will help make you unforgettable.

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