Ep. 91 Closer to Home

Hey, Darren Lacroix. How are you today, my buddy?

Glad to be here, bro. Glad to be here.

Awesome. Listen, I want to ask you a question. I've seen so many speeches, even in Toastmasters speech contests over the years, and they tell the story of Thomas Edison or Abe Lincoln or they talk about people who inspire them. It could be, you know, Elon Musk or somebody famous. And speakers, they do want to get someone who inspires them. But you know what? After a while, it turns out I've heard it before. What do you think about that, buddy?

Oh, there's. Don't get me started. But in fact, get me started.

Anyone can give a presentation. Few deliver unforgettable presentations. What's the difference? You're about to find out. Welcome to the unforgettable Presentations podcasts with your hosts, world champion speakers and coaches, Mark Brown. Mark Brown.

Life tells a story, and there's someone out there who needs to hear it.

And Darren Lacroix. And Darren Lacroix.

Stage time. Stage time. Stage time.

Ready for some powerful presentation. Ahas. Let's dive right in.

Mark. Let's get closer to home.

Yeah. What happens is this. I find that so many people find inspiration from people in history, leaders like Churchill. And that's great. And it's very often, often we have coaching clients who want to find that story, that great inspirational character. But I discovered recently, sometimes that great inspiration is a lot closer to home than you might think.

Amen.

Yeah, we don't often think about people who are close to us. And I confess, I wrote a blog post recently about one of my greatest inspirations. It's my daughter, my princess, Andrin, my firstborn. And anyone can go to my website and look at the blog. It's called Inspiration Closer to Home. But I realized that her life, to me, is inspiring. What happens often is we don't look at the people close to us. We're trying to find some great celebrity, somebody the whole world knows because they're generally inspirational. But when you think about it, you can find inspiration closer to home.

It's right there if you look for it. But sometimes we want that fantastic story. Well, the downside of that fantastic story is it's fantastic. So everyone in the world heard about it because it went viral. So now you're just another person who heard that story. And it's not necessarily special because it's not new. It's not a new person that we can relate to. That can also be the challenge. If it's Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, as Patricia would say. If she was here. Stop quoting dead white men. Well, it's the truth. Truth. We understand it, though. Hey, me, I did that at the beginning of my career. Many people have done that. But there becomes a point, especially our friends who are Toastmasters, where it's time to hear about you. Okay, you work that out. You regurgitated Tony Robbins stories that grabbed your attention. You took the 0.1 finger at someone else you blame, but three are coming back at you. Which I remember hearing that the first time. It was amazing. And then I realized that's out there. Everyone else is doing it because it's so good. But what people haven't heard is your uncle, your grandmother, your children, your dog.

That's true. I want to be very clear about one thing. We have talked before on the podcast about finding your own story and your own experience. This is slightly different. We're asking you to find inspiration not from yourself, but someone close to you. People have said, yes, I found inspiration in the guy who fell in the ravine and had to saw his arm off or the girl who was surfing and got bitten by the shark. I'm not discounting any of that. But as you said, Darren, we've heard many of those stories before. We've seen the Lifetime TV movie, whatever the case may be. And I'm not discounting it, but I'm saying, when was the last time you looked at your own family, people you love down the street and found inspiration in their stories? You know, and I could spend a day discussing my daughter's stories, and I'm not going to do that. But the point is, that'd be a.

Lot of editing on a podcast if it was a 24 hour podcast.

But I realized, Darren, seriously, my daughter's life is inspirational. Okay, so you're wondering what he's talking about. I'll give you the Reader's Digest condensed version. My daughter Andreen is 37 now, newly married, and found out a few years ago that she had multiple sclerosis. It's a very debilitating disease in the nervous system and you could end up in a wheelchair. But she says, no, I'm going to live my life. And she's very, very active physically. She still goes to Orange Theory. And every couple of days at 8:35 in the morning, my phone will buzz. She texts me her Orange Theory numbers. Before I can read them, she's calling me and discussing the workout with me. She got me involved in Orange Theory and fitness. If she gets hurt, she tapes her knees. When she was going through her undergrad in college, she was a week from her finals, had to do an emergency gallbladder surgery. She slept on the sofa, had her laptop in her lap and worked her way through. Didn't want to miss or do any makeups because she was committed. That's the kind of inspirational stories that can be right next to us and we don't think about it. It's a brother we're envious of because their story is so inspirational. So think, who in your family has lived an inspirational life? But they're right under your nose and they don't think about it. Here's the beauty, Darren. When you talk about people in your own family, the characters are more relatable because we are not thinking about a celebrity, a skier, somebody walked on the moon. We're talking about people who are in our own home, on our own street. And guess what? Every man has somebody in their home, every woman, somebody on their street, somebody in their family who is more relatable.

Yeah. I'm going to say pause right here for a quick second and ask yourself, do you feel a little closer connection to Mark now because he just told you the story of his daughter? Do you feel connected to Mark because of that story? Do you want to know more about his daughter because of that story? Are you inspired by his daughter because you just heard that story? That is what we're trying to say. That's our point. In my acceptance speech and in my championship speech, I talked about my dad, who was very quiet man. But the people of few words sometimes say some brilliant ones and really important moments. When my dad was in the army, in the US army, and served our country and had a bombshell go off during training near his ear. And his. His hearing has never been the same since then. But when I told him I wanted to be a comedian, he said, I don't care what you want to be, just be the best. So now it's closer to me. It's more personal to me. I can because I lived it. I was there when he said it. I can deliver it better because I was there in the moment. So we can tell our stories rather than regurgitating, say, Tony Robbins. Dad told him that he don't care what he wants to be, just be the best, eh? That's not nearly as powerful as me telling you the story about my quiet dad, who, in a moment of silence, he didn't know what to say, came out with this brilliance that kept me going. My friend Sherry, Sherry, who went through a really tough time a few months ago, and she Started working out. She wanted to take her life back. And we have a friendship. She is my friend's girlfriend, but he started training her. And when I saw how hard she was working every single day, when she didn't want to pick up weights, when she didn't want to do that, and I heard the stories around it, I saw that. And honestly, Mark, one of the reasons I jumped in in January 1st and dove back into my goal is I was so inspired and how she was changing her health, like watching it firsthand, wow, she's just consistent. Her momentum is incredible and she just does it and there's no excuses. And that literally inspired me. My friend Sherry, you never heard of Sherry. You know, people who work out, who is it in your life that often it's not that person who's muscle bound, it's that person who's overweight who gets up and does five more pounds again the next day. You know, that story can be way more inspiring than Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't want to intimidate people with my biceps here, but you up?

Oh, yeah. But see, Darren, what we're saying is this. And you know, maybe we can break this down into three specific points. And the first would be, I said earlier, the first is the characters are more relatable. You just said it's not. The who's big and buff is the individual who got an extra five pounds off, who looks like you, who looks like me. It is the regular person. They are more relatable because they're family. And we can relate to family, we can relate to neighbors. We see people going through things in life and they're close to us and you stop and you step back and you say, wow, how did they do that? Wow. Again, I'm being really intimate today and being very honest on today's podcast, but I briefly mentioned my sister before, who a year ago lost her 23 year old son who was suffering depression and made a decision he didn't want to live anymore. And she found him. She found him. And at his homegoing, my sister stood up there and delivered the funniest, most emotional, but most endearing eulogy. It wasn't even a eulogy. It was a remembrance of my nephew Dre's 23 year young life. And to see her go through that and the strength she and just my sister is one of my heroes because she inspires me to go through some of the toughest times in your life. She has beat breast cancer. She had to deal with a divorce, but she sends my wife and me a text message every Wednesday with a song. Hey, it's Worship Wednesday. How y' all doing? She's cheering us up. And if that isn't inspirational, I don't know what is and where is it. It's my sister. It's closer to home. Can you relate to a sibling who was close to home, who inspires you by their words, their attitude and their demeanor? You can tell their stories. I don't need no disrespect, but I don't need to mention a young lady who got arm bitten off by a shark. When I got my sister who sends me a text every Wednesday. Hey, it's Worship Wednesday. Here's a song for you, pick you up. What? I got one today, by the way. So I'm gonna ask you to remember, number one, the characters are more relatable. And ask yourself, who in my family inspires me and inspires others? Who's closer to home? Who's inspirational to me?

Yeah. And I think point number two, we're touching on this, but I wanna make it a clear point that it's not cliche and anything overused. The Thomas Edison story, the George Washington story, Abe Lincoln story and his run for politics, like we've heard those. And back in the day, back in motivational speaking in the 70s or 80s, that might have worked. It did work. That's why they were all doing it. But now it's more about being a personal connection to the characters. Because also, back then, social media wasn't what it was. So things didn't have the ability necessarily to go viral. So I think the fact that my dad said, I don't care what you want to be, just be the best. The fact that Vinnie said, never, ever turn down stage time. Okay, that wasn't somebody famous. That was my mentor. That was the person who spoke to me. But the cool thing is, if you do your characters right, if you deliver them right, you deliver the dialogue and that person is. Is actually speaking to the audience maybe the same way they spoke to us. And that's much more powerful, especially coming from us. But mostly it's not cliche. As soon as you do one thing that's cliche, I'm not even going to do the cliche about the cliche that we've always. We've mentioned many times. I'm not even going to say it because it's cliche about making fun of that cliche. If that makes fun makes any sense.

No, it doesn't, but it's okay.

Yes, it does.

I'm Just messing with you, buddy. You know that?

So it's gonna be more memorable. And one of my coaching clients, long time ago, you heard the story, Mark, about Chandra. Chandra, who had bought one of my programs or wanted to buy it, but wanted to know so badly about the return policy. And when we worked together, he actually told this story about this interaction with me. But we took what he was saying, which was don't quit. But we took the words, the dialogue, and we put the words into the guru, which is his wife. And his wife said, don't quit, commit. Don't quit, commit. So instead of saying, never quit, I don't remember which famous dead white guy said that, but, like Churchill or something. But it's Chandra's wife. She's saying the same thing, but she's saying it better. It's more related to the story because he had tried things and quit, and she. And tried things and quit and tried things and quit. Okay? So don't quit, commit. Because that was the challenge he had. She was the wisdom. Now, she didn't actually say it, but we took what she said and we put it into that digestible form. So it's not cliche like, don't quit. It was don't quit, comma, commit. And so now that cliche phrase, it's a universal idea. So we encourage you. The universal ideas need to be told again and again and again and again. However, you need to find your dialogue from your characters that are closer to home.

Yes. When you hear their voices, when you hear them speak, it just means that much more to the audience. So think about this again. I mentioned siblings, your brother or your sister, even the ones who you look up to, because they've accomplished something. That in itself is inspirational. My. My older brother, he's was featured. He works in Florida for. For the government there, and he was featured in the. In the website and on their Facebook page for his leadership. That's inspirational. It could be a child in your life, maybe you know, a child in your family who, you know was born with a club foot and they used to wear flippers backwards when they were a kid, and they felt like the ugly duckling. They didn't fit. They didn't fit well. So they would sit on the goose egg, not on the goose with their siblings. You may know somebody like that. And you watch their life, you see them fail and get back up. You see them build a business, and you go, you know what? All that they've done is inspirational. For those who don't know, I just told you about Darren Lacroix. Okay, My brother, my buddy, and what he's been through in his life, it's right there next to you. It could be even. Could even be a child who isn't even 10 years old yet, but they do something at school or they say, you know what, Mommy, I want to. I want to help raise some money for the kids down the street who don't have toys at Christmas time when we're so caught up with getting the next iPhone and the next computer. And this kid says, I want to give my Christmas money for the family because they don't have a toy to play with. That's inspirational. You tell that story of that kid in your house, it changes the game. Because now it's not the cliche story of the individual who decided to go on this great walk, right? Or to do this great thing on this great trek. It's somebody in your family who saw with compassion for somebody else and said, let's do this. We say, oh, how cute. But it's more than how cute it is. How inspirational. And that is not cliche. That is meaningful. That'll move the audiences. Trust me. There's inspiration so much closer to home. All we have to do is stop and take a look at it. And I know sometimes we don't want to think of family in that way, because there are times with family, you love them, but you just don't like him. But inspiration can come closer to home. It could be the. It could be the pet with. With three. Three legs that just keeps going, going, going, going. There is inspiration everywhere. That's closer to home. Darren.

Yeah, we had. At the last game changers event, we had some little short quick videos on Zoe Wisdom. So if you don't know, Zoe is our mascot here at Stage Time. And just watching the puppy, like, doesn't complain. It doesn't whine, it doesn't barely barks. But when you put the treats in the ball and to give it something to do and have it play around and get its own treats, I remember just like watching. So Zoe would, like, push it with his nose, push it with her nose, push it with her nose. And then once in a while, a little treat will fall out. Push it with her nose, push it with her nose, Push it with her nose. And then that wasn't working. So then she'd pick up the ball and throw it in the air herself. And it's like, oh, maybe I need to find another way. Because sometimes persistent isn't. Persistence isn't enough. We've got to do it a different way. So your inspiration could come from Zoe, which teaches you a lesson, which teaches the audience a lesson. So things like that and just showing that or using that, it's another way that the inspiration is closer to home.

Yeah. And the thing is, when you were saying about Zoe trying to find a new way and being persistent, having to get a treat, I will confess my brain went right away to the stories I've heard over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again about Abraham Lincoln running politics. And he tried again, tried again. And honestly, I began to visualize Zoe pushing that ball and throwing that ball. And I was more inspired by Zoe because it wasn't a cliche. I've heard abe Lincoln sing 879 times and a half times, but it was refreshing. And I can relate as I know who Zoe is. Oh, wow. It's some. It's mascot. She's close to home. So please, friends, think about that. The cliche can be destroyed when we look to close to home, to family members, to our pets, to our neighbors. When was the last time you had a conversation with your neighbor and they said something about their experience that you found inspirational? There's a story there to which we can relate back to point one, it's relatable. And point two, it's not cliche. And for me, one of the best parts of having the story come from someone closer to home is it fulfills one of my mark Isms. Right. Your audience wants to hear you, but they really want to know you. And I know we have used that line to talk about your personal story. Let's broaden that net or cast a little wider net a little bit. And look at it this way, they also get to know you through the relationships that you have and the people in your family and your circle. At our last event, I began one of our last trainings. I began to show a photograph, black and white from 1971, of me with my older brother. And I'm trying to stretch myself to get to his height. I wanted to be like him. So part of my story is not just all I've been through. Part of my story is the relationship with people who are close to home. There's a picture right there for those who see the video, those who are not seeing the video. It's a picture of my brother and me from 71 black and white back in the day. And I'm stretching to be like him because he is somebody I admire to this day. I think he's One of the coolest guys on the planet, my brother, he doesn't get phased by anything. He would take exams that year early because he was that smart, you know, I love the guy, but that shows who I am through the broader net of my relationship with my brother. So think about your family relationships as well and how your audience can get to know you better as a result of understanding the relationships, widen that net and bring people who are closer to home into your life's picture that you share with your audience, and they really get to know you on a deep, deeper level. It establishes a stronger connection, again, more relatable characters. Again, it's not cliche. And more importantly, it strengthens the connection because they see a broader picture of you and get to know you a little bit better.

Yeah. So if I talk about Zoe. Oh, you like dogs? I like dogs. You have a pet now. It's not my pet, but she's here 9 to 5 when Regina comes in. But at the same time, there becomes that connection. So you get to know me. I'm a dog guy. Even though if Zoe came in, I wasn't dog guy, the dog would not make the podcast, you know, would not make some of my videos, some of our stagetime University update videos. And, you know, the cool thing with unrelated directly, but you could also have some humor. Zoe wasn't pushing the ball, pushing the ball, pushing the ball. And then sitting down and crossing her arms saying, it's just not fair. She didn't complain, just found another way. Well, that one's not working. And wouldn't we all be better off if we did that instead of blaming other people and pointing a finger at you. And three, go back at me.

What's interesting, though, is we talk about the story about Zoe the dog, right? It could be a parakeet, could be a pet, could be a child. It could be a brother, sister. It's a family member. But the stories of their experiences and how it relates to us is the same. How you can relate to your audience and the wisdom that they give us, the inspiration they give us is being passed on to our audience as well. And it just might. It just might prompt your audience to look at their relationships differently as well. It could be a brand new movement. We get to see brand new stories. We get to gain closer connections to people around us. We begin to build stronger relationships. And in a world now where so much is being done socially, even though because we're physically distanced, our stories again can cast a much wider net, touch more people and inspire them here's the best part to me, inspire them to view their crazy, goofy, loving families a little bit differently and gain a greater appreciation for the impact that their relationship can have, not only on them, but. But on their audiences as well. This could be viral, friends, if we look closer to home, appreciate the power of that inspiration, and then spread it far and wide to people who need to be inspired. Now, when things are so difficult, think of your cousin, your niece, your uncle, your aunt, and their stories, their lives. Everybody has some degree of inspiration. And before long, we may not need to go back to Abraham Lincoln but once every 17 years. Because the truth is, we're now relating to people who are just like us.

Yes. More relatable, not cliche. And the audience really wants to know you. Such a powerful concept, and I don't want to overdo it, Mark. I think we've covered it. I think that people should be asking themselves, who around me? Who closer to home inspires me? Because often we're not looking that direction. So the purpose of this episode is to get you to look at what did you learn from your puppy? What did you learn from your cat? What did you learn from your kids? What lesson did your kids teach you? How about your aunts, your uncles growing up? Pull out those photo albums. Like, Mark, that's. You found the one about your brother, the black and white one.

Yeah. From 71. Yes. 50 years ago. Geez.

And I bet if you look at the pictures, being a professional speaker, an expert, an author, a pastor, you looking at those old pictures, looking for content, looking for memorable ideas, you will see metaphors in your pictures that other people won't see. There are metaphors, Right? Just like you're stretching one. That's just Mark trying to stretch. But you created a whole story and an analogy behind it. I'm willing to bet that if somebody truly wants that new idea and they look closer to home, they will find it.

I will say this, Darren. I want to ask everyone, really think about this very, very deeply. Look at the people around you. Look in your family. Look for your neighbors. Look for their inspirational stories. Ponder them, process them, and then pass them along. Because I believe if we look closer to home, we'll find people, we'll find characters, and we'll find stories who will help us to be unforgettable.

And you'll find them closer to home. See you next week.

See you next week.

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