Be Visionary Events and Do The Thing

Participated Live is tonight. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Stacy Lauren, and I run the do the Thing community, and I have the do the Thing podcast, and I have an incredible guest on today, Rosanna, who is the founder of Be Visionary, and they do single events, and we're going to be getting to talk about all the things. I'm so excited to do this with you because we were talking a little bit before, and I feel like everyone is so just in that, like, dating app culture and not knowing that there's another way, you know, to actually meet people. And I love that you've created this business where you're showing people there is a new way and you're literally doing it.

Thank you, Stacey. Appreciate that. Thanks.

I'd love to have you make sure everyone in the group can see us, but I'd love to have you share just, like, about you and how you even started this and, you know, how it's been going and all that good stuff, if that's okay.

Happy? Yeah, absolutely.

I am a very young, spirited woman who found myself divorced at the age of 30. And, you know, that is when dating sites started, started really becoming popular. And I had started doing them back then and didn't care for them. And I actually saw the transformation where we went from meeting people in real life to now only doing it on dating sites. And people are constantly on their cell phones and not talking in real life anymore. And so I eventually, and I have always been, for lack of a better term, a hopeless romantic. Right. Like, yes, there's somebody for everyone, and we're all going to meet our person and live happily ever after. And I would say it was a couple years ago where I was starting to lose that hope. I was starting to say to myself, is this really ever going to happen anymore? I feel like the world's gone crazy. You know, it's very difficult to meet people of quality. The dating sites had just fake profiles and scam artists, and they're scamming people out of, you know, millions of dollars a year. And it was just very frustrating. And I have been working in the finance industry, in risk management for my entire career. And one of the things that I do is identify problems and fix problems, right? I help people find solutions to problems. And so I found that there was this gap in our dating world today. And I knew that I wasn't the only one feeling these challenges. I have friends who were single. I would talk to strangers who were single, and it's like, really, it's it shouldn't be this hard. Doesn't need to be this hard. So I would say about a year and a half ago, I was talking to a friend of mine, and it was a guy, and I said, you know, I should do a mixer that requires a girl to bring a single guy, and that way we can have equal men and women. And he's like, oh, I love that idea. Yeah, get her done. And. And I said, okay, well, and then I just didn't. I didn't do it. And he just kept at me and kept at me, which I'm glad that he did. I'm really glad that he did, because we did it. February of last year was my first singles event. It was an axe throwing event.

Oh, fun.

Yeah. And it was held in Westchester, Pennsylvania, and 275 people came out. Oh, my gosh. That's incredible. Yeah.

I know. It's crazy, right? So at that point, I was like, okay, I'm onto something here. Right? There is definitely a demand for this. And that's when I started to do one event every other month. And again, because I'm working full time and it's not easy. It's not easy. So I started doing one event every other month. And I was kind of toying with, okay, do I do the events for just singles? Do I do the events for anyone? And I kind of mixed it, and I think people were getting a little confused, like, okay, is this a singles one or is it a not? So finally, I think it was September. I said, okay, you know what? I'm going to do strictly singles. Make it easier for people. So strictly singles. And from that point on, I was doing one event a month, and I do it in Chester County, Montgomery County, Delaware County. And.

I now moved into doing more a month, and I've expanded into New Jersey. So, yeah, so that's. That's how I got into it and how I've gotten to where I am today.

Yeah, it's incredible because, like, when you have this pain, right, and you see that there's a problem, and then your natural habit in life, in your work life, is to actually solve the problem. And then all of a sudden you see that it's not just you, it's so many people. And then you're actually able to make a difference, right? In being able to create the space, space for people to connect. It's. I mean, it's really everything you could ask for in life, I think, is to. To know how to just like, kind of start it, right? And to now see where it's going is probably exciting.

It's rewarding. It's rewarding. I, I feel like this was my purpose in life. I'm finally doing what I was put on this earth to do and that's bring people together because I've always loved that. Right. I've always been a host. I love having people at my house. I love seeing people happy. I love seeing people connect. So now I could just do it on a larger scale and it's very rewarding.

So good. And let's just say hi to some people. So Mike's here. Mike says hi.

Thank you, Mike for connecting us.

I know Mike, you're awesome. And Norma's here.

Hey Norma.

Hey Delisa. And Vicki and Jill. Yes, Jill, you recorded. Hi Sarah. Good to see you. And Fern and Gerald. Gerald, I feel like you're new. I wonder, do you know Gerald? Rosanna? I wonder if. Yeah. And then Delisa said single events are successful in my area in Ohio.

Or are not successful. Oh, interesting in terms. Yeah. Really curious if that's just maybe enough. Not enough people. I would love to know too is like.

Let'S just say because there's a lot of people I run into that are introverts and it's kind of just like could energy suck you, you know, to like or scary, you know, and like to do something. This is a lot, right? To do something like this and really put yourself in that situation. Can we kind of talk to that person and, and see what that would be like for them?

Absolutely, yeah. So we do, we do have a lot of people who come out who are very shy and hesitant. And that is what is very unique about my events is the fact that I don't allow people to just hold up the wall or hold up the bar. Right. So we have engaging games and activities that now encourage people to get out there and meet people that they have. They didn't meet before they came there. Right. And it's incredible. I mean we do things. So I have different events for different age groups. 23 to 38, 38 to 55, 55 plus. And it's extremely wonderful to see how these like minded people come together on these games. I have them form in teams of four and they work together. Right. They get excited for each other when they win, they get sad together when they lose. They act like they've now known each other forever. It's crazy. I mean they are putting their arm around each other, they are exchanging phone numbers. I have gone out and I have met women who have come up to Me and said, thank you so much. I've met my best friend because of you. So one of the things that we really try to do is make sure that you might come in there alone, but you're not leaving alone. You're feeling like, wow, that was amazing. I met so many new people. I look forward to seeing them again at the next event. I have people coming to future events together now. You know, in my line of work, I don't want to see people come back. Right. Because I want them to find that person or, you know, live happily ever after with someone. But if they're gonna come back, I want them to have a community. I want them to have friends. I want them to feel like they're a part of something. And so I would say, you know, we do everything from like beer pong to trivia to goodness. I'm trying to think of all the games that we've had. We've had so many things to picking up. To picking up cotton balls with red solo cups on your hands. I mean, we've done it all. We've done it all. We've had a pool party with Volley all. We've done it all. You know, we try to be different. We try to think of different, you know, activities. We try to think of different venues. Because that's the other key thing, right. Is that I go into different areas all the time and different venues. Because you're attracting different people, then.

I still believe that there is somebody for everybody and it's just a matter of finding them. So I feel like doing that, going into different areas and different venues. And, you know, you have a lot of my people who. They are amazing. They follow me wherever I go. They're wonderful people. I love them. They're beautiful. And then I have new people that come and form new connections.

Yeah, I love that you're, like, making it easy for people to meet each other. And then what's really cool, too, because especially when you're. I don't know if you remember this, but, like, I. I know there's. I hear this a lot is when you're. And I went through this too, actually.

When you're newly single or you're single and you're not wanting to meet someone, you can still go to something like this because you're meeting other single people, you know, And I think that's like such a good way that you put it. It's like you. It doesn't need to be that you're meeting someone that's like a partner. You could just Be meeting new friends that way.

Exactly. Absolutely. You're absolutely right. And there are people who come who are not interested in meeting a spouse or anyone at that point because they're recently separated or recently broke out, whatever the case may be. But you can still. One of the things that I have learned is that feeling like you're part of the community, having friendships is actually physically healthier for you. Right. Like, when you're alone and you isolate yourself, that is actually a breakdown in your body, physically and emotionally. But having those friendships and having that feeling of being part of something, it's literally healthier. It's a healthier lifestyle. So if nothing else, if I allow people to live a longer life just because they came to my event and had a great time, then I've done my part. I'm happy with that, too.

Yeah. And Mike said an awesome reason to get off the couch. I, like, totally agree with that. Because that couch is so easy to stay on, you know? It's like, really easy.

Oh, yeah, it's very easy.

I got a little blanket going on over here. Turn the TV on. Put on some Love is Blind. You know, why not? Why don't you have Delete.

Exactly. Exactly. And I'll be honest with you. That is exactly where everybody has gotten. I feel like anybody who's been single for any significant amount of time has gotten so comfortable with being single and not putting themselves out there anymore and just sitting on the couch and binge watching Netflix and saying, you know, what?

If it happens, it happens.

But if it doesn't, that's fine, too. I'm content with just living alone for the rest of my life.

No.

No. God did not put us on this earth to be alone. We are not meant to be alone. So we need to push ourselves to really just get out there and if nothing else, just meet new friends and do different things.

So good. All right, you guys, I'd love to hear from you right now. And please put in the comments. Just like, as you're hearing Rosanna talk, if there's something coming up for you that you want to know about how you can do this in your area, or a way to get off the couch and, like, something to look forward to or even just what your objections are with doing this. Because I feel like when. When we get to hear from someone like you, right where you have. You're literally, like, creating the space for people to be able to connect. There's such a power in that ability, you know, to be able to do that. And so I just think it's really important for us all to just almost like share this experience together. To be able to, to know like, how do we actually like go, you know, and just say, okay, I'm gonna try it and I'm gonna go for five min and do it. And then for the people that don't live in Pennsylvania, in the Pennsylvania area.

Yeah, the Philadelphia tri state area right now. Yeah. But I do plan on expanding, but for now that's where it is.

Yeah. And so, and for those of you and I saw some people are clicking the QR code, we have Rosanna's website or is a Facebook page up on there. And so feel free to join even if you're not in that area because she's going to be opening up new states and things like that and put your state or your city in the comments also because this is a good chance for her to see where you guys are. And then even that could be potentially something that we do. Once you decide you want to expand, you know, is like almost have a liaison, you know, person you can communicate with the person on the streets, you know.

Yeah, that would be great. That would be amazing. Yeah, that'd be really good.

Okay, so we have a. Oh, Mike wants you to talk about your team.

Oh, my team. So I have to say that I have been very fortunate. I have a wonderful team of friends who have actually been assisting me since the beginning on a voluntary basis. And they. I have one who's. She is my right hand woman, Rebecca. She literally, I call her the Ambassador because she keeps me honest. Right. I've got so many things that I think of and she's always right there thinking of the things that I didn't consider. And then I have my girlfriend Tracy, who is also there. She's. She's my game girl.

She.

I can always count on her to start a game and get people going and have a blast doing the game. Then I have my friend Daryl. He's also my game guy. He coordinates the games. He's super fun. Love him to death. I have my boyfriend Chris, who is also always there and he's like the catch all. He definitely tries to help wherever he can. And then I have other people who have come to my events, who I've met through my events and they just love what I'm doing so much that they want to volunteer. So my friend, she has now become a good friend of mine, Cara. And then also a woman named Brooke who's recently assisted. So I have a lot of people who are just so open and Loving and just love what I'm doing. And they know that it's not easy, so they're more than willing to help me, which I greatly appreciate. And I am growing so fast that I also have been recently getting staff to help. And so I have a few staff members who are amazing as well. And I just want to keep growing from there and hopefully be able to tell my friends, hey, guys, you don't have to help anymore. Now. You can just. You can just come and mingle.

I love that. Oh, and so a couple people. So Natalie said she'll help you in Arizona. That would be actually fun if I connect you guys. She's one of the people that help do the thing, kind of like in the infancy stage with it all. So that would be fun if you guys connected. And then good to see you, Natalie. I'm so glad you're here. And then Fern said, little Rock, Arkansas. So, yeah, that's. That's a good one too. And Vicki said, been single for a long time. Oh, hey, Kimmy. Good to see you. And Delisa said, I signed up for two. One canceled and returned my money. The other canceled when I went to the event because only one guy showed up.

Yeah.

So how do you get people to show up at these things?

Like.

Yeah, at the events?

That's a great question. So I have been very blessed in the fact that people really enjoy the events, so they go out and they tell other friends. So it's a lot of word of mouth. And then I also leverage social media a lot. Right. To be able to get the word out there. And I would say additionally is my friends, my friends help a lot also with spreading the word. People like Mike, who has, you know, come to my events and has become a friend through that, he really tries to help me and spreading that word and sharing my posts. And so it's mainly social media and word of mouth. And the other thing that I also do is I also make sure that it's equal ratio genders. Nobody wants to go to a sausage fest and nobody wants to go to Right anywhere. It's all women. Nobody wants that. So what I try to do is, is I put the tickets out there and guess what, gentlemen? It's the women who are eating up these tickets very quickly. We're waiting on you to be a little more proactive and buy these tickets up sooner. So I get, you know, women who buy up these tickets and I'm like, okay, I've got to stop them now and wait for you guys to catch up. And if the guys were to catch up even sooner. I could add even more women's tickets, but they tend to wait to the last minute and I can't seem to change that. Yeah, but, yeah. So I make sure also that it's, it's very equal. I mean, I mean, like within like five plus or minus. So that's really important as well.

So that's interesting. So you're promoting it through social media. Your friends and the people that have gone to the event are sharing it, but then when they're buying the tickets, you're actually looking to see who's buying it. And then you notice it. More than one gender, you're actually like stopping it. And then you're, you're, you're specifically. I don't want to say targeting. That's a weird word. But, like, you know, like going after, you know. Yeah, that's awesome. So what would you, what, what do you do to get them to register? Is it you emailing them and then saying, like, okay, come on, like, let's.

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely marketing. Right? Marketing and advertisement. So there's a lot of strategy behind it. But there's definitely emails, there's social media ads.

Okay.

I've done flyers. So, like, when I first started, you literally would walk around town handing out fires. That's exactly what I did. People hyped for it. Yeah. Like my ax throwing, I did that. I just. It was in a town called Westchester, where it's. It's a great little town. People love living there. And there's a lot of restaurants and there's a lot of bars. So that's exactly what I did. I went out and I handed out flyers at the different restaurants and bars and stores and asked that they'd be willing to put a pile out. And the word got out there and 275 people came. No, not to mention that the venue owner also assisted and he put it out to his following, which also helped. But yeah, so there's just different means that you're able to use again. Luckily, the word gets out. Men tell other men. So, you know, and the other thing that I think I've been told that I do a good job with is trying to think of venues and activities that are going to attract men. Like, I'm not going to do an 80s roller skating event.

As much as you're going to love it. Men are not. And men are not going to come. So if you want me to just do a roller skating night of all women, I'm happy to do that. But you can't expect the men to come because they're not going to. Right. Act throwing was something that men love. So, yeah, I love this.

I think this is so good, because that is true. There's a lot of people that were saying, like, yeah, they want to do this stuff, but then there's only women that go, and there's no guys. So I love that. You're literally b. Vision visionary. Like, you're being visionary by, like, you know, really thinking just like, where do guys like to go? And ax throwing is obviously one. And then I love what you said about even the venue themselves because they have an email list, you know, and then they're sharing it with their list and saying, hey, there's a singles events. You know, if you're single, come to our event. Because they're only promoting their own place.

Right, exactly, exactly. Making money. Exactly. Yeah. To win. So good.

Okay, so let's see. Donna's here. Hey, Donna. She just finished the winery at. With her daughter. Is she. When's her wedding? I know her. She's. Her marriage is coming up soon. And Mike said the idea of putting something on your calendar, something to look forward to. And Lynn said, I haven't created the group, but have become a member of a number of single groups here in Michigan. I have met so many people through. Through them, not my person, but plenty of great friendships. One group is a boomers group that does all kinds of events. Dinners out, hikes, concerts. And not necessarily a group to meet potential partners, just people to get together. The other groups are more to meet a potential mate. And one group has over 20 couples that are together from the group and five engagements. Wow, that is amazing.

Amazing. That's amazing. So I do have a couple that came out of one of my events back in February. I had my first testimony, but unfortunately. And they were together for about three months, but they unfortunately broke up. And now the second testimony. They're still. They're still together from February. Very happy. And it's funny because they live an hour away from each other. So one of them took the chance of going to an event an hour away from them, and they ended up meeting their person. So that's the other thing, right? Like, don't pigeonhole yourself into just a local area. You never know your person could be an hour away or whatever it might be. So, yeah, I was really happy to see that.

Yeah, I love that. And I think the other thing about it, too, and it's kind of like when I do this group, right? We do A dating dare. Challenges and different kind of challenges just to get people off the dating app and give them a reason to go out. Next time I do a dating challenge, we'll have to connect, because that might.

Be fun to kind of, like, definitely.

Do a visionary dare. But. But yeah, I think the idea of that is when people are like, again, we talk about the couch, right? When they're sucked into the couch, it's kind of. I don't know. It's like that Groundhog Day. Especially if you're doing the dating app, right? Same thing, different day. But when you're going out and you're going to, like, a singles event or you're doing a dare and complimenting a stranger, whatever you're doing, it's like you're putting out that, like, energy, right? And. And that's what then is coming back to you versus you, like, sinking in and being negative. And all the things that come from just like, the swiping left and the swiping right. Right. Like, you're actually, like, going after the things you want.

You know, it's funny that you say that, and I've had a few people say this to me, too, and I felt it myself. I think one of the reasons why my events are successful is because of the energy people come. One of the things that I do, and I think Mike will attest to this, is I. When people come through the door, I want them to feel as if they were coming through the door of my house. I welcome them. I remember their names. I try to remember a little bit about them. I talk with them when they leave. I say, thank you so much for coming. Please be careful going home. And I'm being very sincere about that. Right? I greet them with a smile. I say goodbye with a smile. My staff does the same thing because that's what I've asked them to do, right? And people just. They gravitate to that. They appreciate that. Like, when somebody remembers, it's just a little something is remembering their name. They appreciate that. And now it raises their energy level. And now they're there. And they are there for the same reason. They're all there for the same reason. And now they've got a smile on their face and they feel comfortable. They feel like they are in a safe space, and that energy just continues throughout the night, and you really feel it. I even had a friend of mine come with his wife, and even they, not being single, they felt that energy, and they just could not speak highly enough about the event and how much fun they Had. Yeah. So I think that's the key is making sure that when you go out to one of these events and I don't care where you are.

Face, right, you put your perfume or your cologne on, you dress well, you feel good about yourself, you put that smile on your face, and you walk in there, no matter how you're feeling, no matter what's going on in your life, no matter how much in shambles you feel, put it all aside and walk in there and think positively and just be in the moment and enjoy it. And I promise you, it will bring you positive results. I promise it will. Yeah.

And like, almost imagine, like, there's two scenarios, right? One scenario is you're, like, on. And again, you guys, I like, really like to. Because I've. I've seen this so much with the people that are on the dating app and then still on it, and they're posting saying how much. Not in this group, but in other groups saying how much they hate it.

Right.

Or there's that. What's that group? That's, like, the dating the same guy. And like, oh, yeah, Are we dating the same guy?

Yep.

Yeah. There's so much negativity, right. In that, like, world. And so imagine the one person is on the dating app and they're doing the swiping for, like, an hour versus someone else that gets to go to an event like this for an hour. And then let's say you go somewhere else. Let's say it's the grocery store, and all of a sudden you're just happy and you're smiling and there's someone there that you smile at, and you all of a sudden. Who knows, right? Like, it's just. And you're also. Let's say you're also that dating app person.

You.

And then you go to the grocery store, and then you're just, like, not seeing anything because you're just annoyed and exhausted, you know, and it's almost just like it changes your whole mood pretty much. Yeah.

Whole demeanor. It really does. And pheromones are a real thing, right? I mean, God gave us pheromones for a reason.

Go into the real world, get into a space where you are actually around other people, and let your pheromones lead the way.

It's true. Yeah. And that's what the dating sites are missing. And then the other problem with dating sites is, is that people hide behind technology and people will say, do things that they would never even think or consider doing in real life. Right. Like, I think many people could Talk about some of the crap that they've been dealt with, that. Dealt with on the dating sites, that in real life, people tend to be a little more respectful.

It's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's hiding behind it. And could you please write the book? Let the pheromones lead the way. Will you? Will you write that book?

Yep, I really will. Yeah. I mean, it's the truth, though, right? I mean, they are there. They do work. I know a lot of us, we remember dating in real life, right? We remember prior to phones. I hate to say that, because I don't want to, you know, show my age, but we remember before phones were a thing and we would go to the club or we would go to the bar and we talk with someone and you were gravitated towards them for whatever reason. You had no idea why, but you were gravitated towards them. You end up falling for somebody who you wouldn't typically fall for, but they, you know, they made you laugh or, you know, their scent just gravitated you to them. So, yeah, pheromones are real.

What are some other. So the axe throwing is a good one. What are some other ones that have been popular with people?

Yeah. So I did a laser tag and escape room event, which was super fun. I did a pool party. Who doesn't love a party?

Let's see. I did a murder mystery dinner, which it was a mix of the singles and the couples. And I mean, it was. It was good. I mean, I still had a great turnout, but I don't know that that was one of my best ones. And now what I try to do is more mixers. Right now I'm sticking with mixers. Like at breweries. Men love these IPAs. These IPAs are like the new thing now, right? So, yeah, so I'm going to give you a brewery and give you an ipa.

I've had an Eagles tailgate party that was no longer Eagles because the Eagles moved the game on us, but it was football tailgate party. So that was super fun. Yeah, it really was. But, yeah, so it's just more about picking venues that are popular in the area that people will go to anyway on a normal basis.

And places that have, like, good food, good drink, that don't. Don't necessarily.

People don't. I don't know. I mean, like, people just like. I mean, that's. That's basically what I do. Easy locations. That's another thing, right? You have to pick locations that are easily accessible for people. So I also try to do that.

As well.

So good. And this is a good suggestion. Lynn said one of the groups I'm in went to an arcade and go kart event.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. And we actually have one of those. I was actually thinking about that because we have one of those around us too. Yeah.

Is there like a. Like a association that you belong to where you get to come up with these ideas, or do you just. Is it you and your boyfriend and your friends all just like deciding what, you know, what would be good?

So a lot of it is me, but I do have my friends who will go. They'll go somewhere and they'll be like, relax. This would be great for an event. Ro, have you thought about this? So, yeah. So it's funny because they really do think like that now. But a lot of it is me kind of sitting there and like, you know, I was single for a really, really long time and I think about, like, what would I have wanted to do, what would fun to do, where would be fun to go? So that's. And gains, like, what would I feel comfortable doing or not comfortable doing in a room full of singles? I mean, honestly, I'm very outgoing, so I don't care. I'll do anything. But I try to put myself in other people's shoes. Like, would this feel comfortable? But if everybody else is doing it, then why not, right? Why not put yourself out there and do it? So, yeah. So, yeah, I know.

It's funny because when you said pool party, in my mind I was like, I don't know, you know, because I feel like then are people like all in their bathing suits and all that, or is it more just like a casual kind of like get together?

They came dressed and then they would change into their bathing suits or they had their bathing suits underneath and eventually got into the pool and played volleyball and had a great time. Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. So what would you suggest for people that are in areas where you're not in now and like, something they could do to either curate or go, or do you have thoughts on just what would be good for them?

Wow. Okay. So as far as getting out there, there is meetup. So if you're not on meetup right now, I think meetup is, you know, a viable place to go look for other groups of people who are potentially single. I am also on meetup. I have b visionary pages on meetup, but again, they're more for the tri state area. I do plan on expanding to other states. You know, it's just a process I'm sure we all can appreciate that it's a process. So I would say leverage meetup as much as you can. And believe it or not, Facebook has a lot of singles groups. So if you even just type singles in the search line and then go click on groups, there is a lot of groups that do come up in the local area, at least here in this area. I have not checked in other, other states, but I know in the tri state area here, there's a lot of them. So I would definitely suggest that. But short of that, if I could give anybody any advice, it would be when you go to a bar, when you go to a restaurant, you're single, stop sitting at a table, sit at the bar.

Put your phone away, sit at the bar, talk with the people next to you. Even if they're a couple. Even if they're a couple, talk with them. You never know. They might know somebody for you. They might fall in love with your personality and be like, you know what? I forgot I work with this guy and he's amazing. I should hook you guys up or vice versa, right? I know this girl would be perfect for you. Like, let your personality come through, talk with people. Don't be too shy or afraid to talk with them, because believe it or not, they want to talk with you too. Even couples. So my boyfriend and I were just talking about this. We both have been in the service industry, and there's a lot of times where couples go out and they've been together for so long, there's nothing left to talk about. So they'd rather talk to the bartender. And that's why they sit at the bar, because they want to talk to the bartender. They want to be social. Or when they do sit at a table, they sit there and they BS with the waitress to the point where the waitress is like, okay, gotta go, gotta go.

So, you know, wherever you're sitting, whether it's somebody who's single, somebody who's not, just say, hello, Hi, how are you? You know. Do you come here a lot? Yeah, here. I really love their whatever. Right. Whatever it is.

I'm. That's. That's who I am. I mean, I will tell you that even as a kid, my mother said that she would have me walking around in the stroller and I say hi to everyone that walked down the street, and I'd introduce myself to everybody. I'm. And I am where I am today because of it. I love fact that I am capable of doing this, and I just urge people to do the same. I know it's not easy, but get out of your comfort zone and just try it.

It works.

It really works.

Yeah, I'm cracking up because I see Natalie commented and she said, so scary. And I'm only laughing because we had the most hilarious. During the first dating dare challenge, we had the most hilarious podcast episode where she was talking about her, how she. One of the dares was to go to a bar, you know, by herself. And she did this, her and Sue. Oh, I can't remember Sue's last name, but they went to a bar. But then Natalie stayed in the car and the. So that sue could do the dare and then they were gonna swap, but the bartender actually, like, came out and, like, got her and, like, wanted her to do inside, so. But I. It's true. And thanks for saying that, Natalie, because it is true, like, for.

It is scary, you know, like, sometimes. But I did this. So I do a find your voice challenge. And honestly, so because I come from sales, that's like my, like. And I don't mean sales, like I'm a salesperson. It's like door to door where I'm just used to rejection and like, flexing the muscle of, you know, of all that stuff. And so for me, like, having a reason to do something kind of like my podcast, it's a reason for me to talk to people.

Right.

And then obviously, once I'm talking, I'm so happy, you know, And.

Yeah.

Yeah. And so I did this one challenge or do this one challenge. I do it a few times a year. It's called find your voice. And one of the things is you, like, you do these self reflective questions that you answer yourself, but one of the comfort zone circles you can stretch is to ask someone else a question. And it is kind of fun. I mean, it is for me, it's fun. And I do think I've seen Terry did it. I don't see Terry here today, actually, but Kimmy did it. So some other people have, like, done this and now Norma did it, but. And Mike did it too, but basically going up to someone and asking that question. So one of my favorite questions is like, what is something you've done recently that you're proud of? And so, yeah, so like, my boyfriend and I actually were in Las Vegas and we, like, asked the bartender that question. And it was so cool because, you know, we're asking that question and because he works there, it's kind of just like, easier, you know, to like, start a conversation because you already have the question in your mind. That you can ask, and then the conversation kind of starts, you know, it's almost just like a. It's like a starting point. And it doesn't have to be that question. It could be a compliment.

It could be something that made you smile. Yeah, I love that.

Yeah. Like, that is that.

You know what I'm saying?

It's like having some kind of, like, starting point. So when you are scared, it just, like, starts the conversation, you know?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Now, do I suggest that you sit at a bar, you just turn to the person and say, so tell me, what was the last thing that made you smile? No, I don't suggest that. Right. You do have to have a little icebreaker in there of, hi, I'm Ro. How are you? You know, and you're gonna know. And that's the other thing. It's very important to have social cues. There are a lot of people out there that unfortunately don't have social cues.

Cues.

You're going to know if somebody's willing to engage with you, and if they're not, if they are smiling, if they're receptive, if they're answering and keeping the conversation going, keep it going. But if they're like, what? Then, you know, just move on. Okay. Enjoy your meal. Have a nice night. Right? Like, yeah, yeah, just have social cues and turn to somebody and say, or even if it's like, man, can you believe this football game? I cannot believe the Eagles are screwing it up again. Or whatever. Right. Or do you know what the basketball game is? Whatever it might be, even if you could care less about basketball, it's a question. It's something to just get the conversation going. Right? Yeah. They're going to be like, how about this basketball game? Like, this is ridiculous. I can't believe they're losing. Whatever.

Right.

It just starts conversation. So it's worth. And. And if you're going to talk to a man, thinking about something that a man potentially wants to talk about.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like. It's almost just like. And I think I was kind of saying this with the sales and the podcast, it's whatever it's going to get you to be able to. And a dare, right? That's where the dare came up from. Because, like, whatever is going to get you to be able to, like, feel like you can talk to someone, you know, so that way you get the courage to do it. And so anyway, so that's just something. And if you guys need. And I saw Natalie. I'm so excited. She said she's going to do it this week. And if you guys need like a dare, because I could give you the image, like, that's fun. Just to even say, like, I was dared and I'm here and it's awkward, but it's kind of funny. I did this with a friend of mine. We were on Mission Bay. It's this like five mile walk. And we literally. I'm like, she wanted to meet someone. I'm like, honestly, I can't imagine you're gonna meet someone doing this, but we're gonna just have fun right now. And I'm like. And this was in one of the challenges we did. I had her, I wanted her to thumb wrestle, but she didn't want to, like, touch the hand. So she, like, did rock, paper, scissors. And literally she's like, she's daring me, you know, like to. To do rock, paper, scissors with everyone that I walk by, you know, and then obviously it doesn't end at rock, paper, scissors. We're like, literally having these, like, cool conversations with all these people. Because that was just kind of like the starting point of the conversation.

Yep, absolutely. It's funny because my two closest friends, you know how they say friends compliment each other? My two closest friends friends are a bit introverted. They're definitely not as outgoing as I am. And hanging out with me now for, you know, the few years that they have been, they have found how, you know, meeting new people, it's like, it's not as scary for them anymore now, now they're even more willing to just go up to a stranger and talk to them because they see how beautiful a relationship could blossom from it. And I think that's what we have to remember is that that could be your potential mate. That could be your potential best friend. Like, you have to think about it from a positive perspective and where could this potentially go? And it might not go anywhere, but so what, you just met somebody new, you had a nice conversation, and then they walk away. But it could also lead to beautiful things. And so you have to think about what, what is the possibilities. And that is why I called it be visionary to bring it all back. Envision what your life could be. Envision yourself with a circle of friends. Envision yourself having a full calendar every weekend. Envision yourself having that person in your life that you're with that you can't imagine life without. Like, envision being happy again. Like, that's. That's what it's all about. And it's okay. You can do that. You can get there. It's just a mindset. It's all about mindset. Yeah.

And, like, what if you just, like, said, I'm gonna do this to what would be the number 12 people, you know, this month and just even say, like, I'm just gonna experiment and have fun. Like, not even have any attachment to an outcome. You're just literally exactly, you know, being curious about what happens, you know?

Yeah, absolutely. You definitely can do that. Another thing my girlfriends and I have done is, is we've gone out and we said, okay, you pick somebody for me. For me in this bar, and you go tell them that I'm interested. And I may not be, but. And I could tell you that it's worked out well in some instances and not so well in other instances. But, like, you know, your friends know you well enough, they know you best. So have them pick somebody for you.

Yeah.

Have them dare you to go up to them. But make it a game. Make it fun. Life can be fun. I think we've all kind of just lost that element of being our inner child. And that's the other thing about my events is I want to bring that inner child out. I want to bring that person that really used to love life, who used to have a life. I want to bring that person out, because that is the authentic smile. That's the authentic happy that everybody should see, and it allows your personality to shine.

So what are some of, like, the kind of funnest things you've seen happen at your events?

Oh, wow. Well, it actually just happened on Thursday. It was really cute. I was talking with these two guys, and the friend says, jake wants to know where Vanessa is. He really likes Vanessa. Can you do me a favor and get on the microphone and call for Vanessa? And I said, sure, no problem. And I did. And we found Vanessa. And I said, vanessa, Jake wants to talk to you. And she went, what? And, yeah, they. They connected. And here they were. I got a picture of them with their arm around each other, and I don't know. I don't know if it went anywhere.

But it was really super cute.

Yeah. So. And they really look like they were kind of perfect for each other. With each other. Yeah. That said, that was cute.

I think a lot of my events, the biggest thing is just people like, sticking up for each other. No, no, he won that. He won that. And they never met each other before, and, you know, they came in as strangers, and by the end of the night, they're literally like best friends. It's just amazing to see. It is one of My favorite things to see that transformation. And my friends who help me with the events, they see it too. And it's just, it's, it's electrifying. It's really, it's contagious. It's like you just see it and you're like, you want more of it, you want to see it happen more. And then there's what we walk away from some events and it may not be that same level of connection, but at least people got out for the night and they had a good time and, you know, had conversations that they wouldn't normally have. So not all events are going to spawn all of these, you know, amazing connections. But I would say most of them have. Yeah.

What do you think? Because I noticed this, it was the year before I started this group that. And I think maybe one of the things that inspired it is I went to like different retreats and I'm talking to different, like I did authentic relating and some other kind of things. And I'm talking to people that are single, both women and men. And I'm hearing the same things, right? Like everyone wants, we want the same things. But then when they, the people meet, there's like these walls that are up that make it where like you can't, you know, and it could be the protection, it could be like all these things. But like, what have you noticed with that? And what do you think can help, you know, with that too?

It's a real thing. It's a real thing. So, you know, I do events by, in different age groups. Right. And what I have found is that it's much easier for the younger crowd to connect. They haven't gone through as much life as we have as we get older. They haven't gone through the divorces, they haven't gotten cheated on. They haven't gotten, you know, physically beat or verbally beat by their spouses. They haven't gone through a horrible divorce where now she's taking half of your income. So you're living in a one bedroom apartment. Right. I think as we get older, that 38 to 55 crowd. The 55 and actually the 55 crowd. Well, let me talk about the 38 to 55. The 38 to 55 is the toughest. That is that age group where they have now lived enough life where they're dated, they're dated, they've gone through.

Yeah, it's. They're jaded and they are guarded because they're jaded. Right. And they're like, you know, the innate thing in us as humans, is we want to be close to somebody. And I hate to say, but you have a lot of men out there who are like, I just want to get late. I just want to. Are you good with us just, you know, having sex and hanging out and no relationship and this, that and the other. And of course, women aren't okay with that. Of course we're like, no, get away from me.

But what's happening with those men, if you think about the psychology behind it, is it's, I'm scared of you. I like you, I find you attractive enough to want to go to bed with you, but I'm scared to get close to you because my ex wife cheated on me and now I'm having to pay her half of my income and she's the one that cheated on. On me. Or I'm scared of you because my wife decided after 25 years she doesn't want to be with me anymore. Not because there's somebody else, she just doesn't want to be with me anymore. So if you think about the psychology and not everybody, there's a lot of pervs out there too. But, you know, you gotta. Right? But if you think about the psychology behind it, that's why a lot of men do what they do. So sometimes I wouldn't suggest that you sleep with them, of course, but I would suggest that maybe even still meet up with them and see if maybe they're hiding behind that technology. And if you meet them in person, they might soften a bit and they might be more willing to actually, you know, date and see where things could potentially go. I think with women, we're definitely jaded, right? Like, I mean, we've had men cheat on us. We've had men, you know, verbally or physically abuse us or whatever the case may be, or, you know, they decide that we're going to raise their kids and they're able to go out and do whatever the hell they want. Right? So whatever the case may be as well.

One of the things that a lot of people don't realize is, is that they need to heal from all of that before they can actually move into a happy, healthy relationship. And I had to. I mean, I dealt with my own adversity, right? I mean, my ex husband cheated on me. It was not easy.

And it took many, many years for me to get where I am today and be in a healthy state. And fortunately, now I can be in a happy, healthy relationship. But it took a really long time. And people need to realize that you have to go through that in order to get to the end, to the other side and, you know, whether it be, you know, finding like a place where you can go and meditate or if it's talk therapy, whatever it is, I'll be honest with you. I was able to work with a holistic practitioner who was able to help tremendously from a physical perspective. Because trauma affects you physically, right? It adversely affects you physically. And sometimes your body now is not even capable of handling emotional stress anymore. So whatever, whatever works for you. Find that thing and heal. God bless you and heal. Thank you.

So that you can meet someone open and with an open heart and give it the opportunity that needs. Men are really. And you know, it's funny, actually, I can't say that. I've actually met a lot of men who are actually much further along than women in that aspect. They have. They're very self aware. They recognize that they have these problems and they're working on it. A lot of women are like, it's not me, it's everybody else. And it's like, no, no, it's not always everybody else. You know, you have to look inward first and then you can, you know, then look on the outward. So if I were to give anybody advice, that would be it.

Yeah, it's so good. I love that. And actually, you bring up, I have a book club for you guys coming. I was talking to you about this book before. Actually, Mike's the one that recommended it, which is cool. I just talked to this author, dating with the Full deck. It's Kevin McLemore. I talked to him. I feel like it was yesterday, Friday. Yeah. And so he's going to come in in a few weeks. And so if you guys want to do a book club on this, where you read it and then I'll bring.

Him on in mid May.

But that's what he talks about. Which I'm curious what you think about this because I was like, oh, my gosh. When he said it, I was like, oh, my gosh. He was saying, like, how a lot of times, like, women are getting divorced, like around 45 to 55. And like a lot of times it's because we're like kind of reaching menopausal age and. And so we don't have the. And this is not the exact way he put it. It was in a very, like, cool way, the way he worded it. So if this is not worded right, don't blame the author. But it was like, it really spoke to me that where you're, you're you're not as like your, Your. Your emotions are different. Right. So you're not able to handle things in the same way. So that kind of like, brings everything up to the.

To the easier. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, he's absolutely right. You know, people don't realize how much our physical state affects our emotional state. I will tell you. And I might be getting a little too personal, but I was on the pill for many years, and it wasn't until. And I was. I was mean. When I was on the pill, I was mean. And it wasn't until after I got off the pill that I relaxed and I was no longer that mean girl. And come to find out that it was because my body wasn't processing estrogen appropriately. So, like, hormones are a real thing. Hormones affect emotions, hormones affect your mood. So I think that everybody should really also look at where they are physically and where's their physical health to determine could that be adversely affecting your emotional state and your mental state? Because they are connected. The gut and mind connection is. It really is.

You know what I think is cool about that too? It's like, almost like we notice it more now. Like right now, I get activated pretty easily about there's something specific that keeps happening and I know it's me, you know, Like, I literally know it's me. But at least before you know this, I, like, wasn't even aware, you know, it was like, unconscious where I'm thinking, it's not my fault, you know? And now at least I feel more. I don't want to say advanced, but aware, you know, that it is something. And I think that's what I like. Oh, that's why I haven't read his book yet. I just got it today. But he talks about, like, you must figure out what your side of the street is, you know, and it's cool because especially if you're. Whoever you're dating reads it too, then you're both at the same level, you know, like before you even start. And it looks like a really easy, easy read. So, yeah, for those of you I see a lot of you are commenting that you want to join, so feel free to. Yeah, let me know and I'll put a post in the comments group because I'd like to do a book club before we bring him on. That would be really, really fun.

Right? Well, yeah, absolutely.

So, okay. What other parting words do you have for people? I'm like, this has been so good, Rosanna. I, like, can't even thank you enough for Doing this. Do you have other kind of just like, advice that could just really help people as they're kind of like, yeah, becoming more of who they are. So then when they're out in the world old, they're able to show that and let the fear of whatever that looks like kind of dissipate, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. I think the whole fake it to make it saying is real. I think that even when you are sad or upset or mad, put a smile on your face anyway. Put a smile on your face and fake it until you make it. People warm up to smiles. I can't tell you the number of times where I walk by people and I'll smile and I'll say hello and. And they looked miserable before I did. And then the minute that I did that, they immediately just let their guard down and smiled right back and said hello and. Yeah. So I think that if you were the light in the darkness, that you will see that there's going to be a lot of great people out there that are going to be very receptive to you. And you have an amazing personality. I don't know most of the people that are on here right now, but I will tell you that every single one of you have an amazing personality. You are your own unique self. You are allowed to be loved. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. And you can have it. It's all about your mindset and the life that you want to create for yourself. So think about what that life is. Imagine what that life is that you want for yourself and make it happen. And you can make it happen. I knew that this was my purpose in life, and here I am, I'm finally, Unfortunately close to 50 years old, finally now doing what I feel I was meant to do. And if I could do it, and trust me, I'm no one special, if I could do it, so can you. So if that's what you want, you want that happy relationship where you are, you know, cuddling up on the couch, watching Love is Mine together, then imagine that and go out and get it. Put that smile on your face and go out and get it. You got this. And I am happy to help. I mean, if you have a question for me, if you want some suggestions, I'm more than happy to help. I can't say that I'm an expert, but, you know, I will definitely try. And then that's the other thing. There are dating coaches out there, so if you feel like you need some assistance. I'm not a dating coach. Right. I set those forums for you to be able to meet. But I do know people that are in the industry that I'm happy to refer you to, and they'll be more than happy to help, and they're great. They really are.

Yeah, it's so good. Especially when. Because I'm the same way. Where I'm not. I don't. I'm not under the dating coach category, but I do like to help people get out and handle rejection and things like that. But it's great. That's why I love collaborating, you know, with, like, different people, because I think when we're all able to, like, have this experience, you know, together, then everyone's able to, I don't know, get benefit from it, you know?

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. This has been amazing, I can't tell you. And again, Mike, thank you for connecting me and Stacy. I really appreciate it. You are amazing. You are doing wonderful things. You really are. I appreciate you bringing this community together. This is exactly what we all need. We all need somebody like you to, you know, bring people to the forefront that are out there helping others, and you yourself are helping others people. So I will continue to spread the word about you, telling people to watch you whenever you're on and follow you, and I look forward to continuing to work with you. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

And I feel the same way. And I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited for the next. I don't know when the next dating challenge is, but whenever it is, it's gonna. Yeah, we'll connect for sure. Because it would be fun to. Yeah, it'd be fun to kind of work through.

Definitely that.

Yeah. So good. What do you think? So we've been doing kind of, like, themes in the group. We're doing something new while I'm waiting for the next dating challenge to start. And so this last week, we did the.

Go.

Actually, this was Mike's suggestion. Mike's so amazing was go see some live music, and many people posted really cool live music that they went to. And so that was just something that we did as a community where we did it on our own. Right. What do you think would be a good kind of, like, dare for the week that people could do just to kind of, like, get out of the normal routine?

Oh, that's a good one. I would say go.

So, you know, if you're going to be by yourself, I would say go to a bar. Go sit at a bar by yourself. Just one day, one for dinner.

Right.

Go to a bar. Sit at a bar by yourself. And when I say a bar, I mean, you know, a classy restaurant bar, whatever it might be. But go out to eat and instead of sitting at a table, sit at the bar by yourself that has people in it. Right. Like, don't go sitting at a bar that's empty. And say hello to the people to your right and to the people to your left.

Okay.

Like, strike up a conversation. And it could be something as simple as. Do you suggest anything here? I've never been here before. Do you suggest any good. Any good meals? Oh, what are you drinking? Right. If they look like they have a very cool drink. Right. What are you drinking? I might want to get that. Just strike up a little bit of a conversation just to get yourself out of your shell and see where it leads you. And I would love to hear the outcomes of those. Yeah, I would love to hear that. That would be great.

Yeah, that's great. Okay. And then we have Rosanna's Facebook page on the QR code. But also share your website and your Instagram as well for people that want to follow along on all the things.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So my website is bevisionary events.com so B V I S I O N a r y events.com and then my Instagram is B Visionary Roe. Yeah. So please follow me. I will be coming to a place near you.

Yeah, I will. Eventually, I am going to be making it out to you. Like I said, I started this a year ago in Pennsylvania. I'm now in New Jersey. I'm going to be making my way out to Delaware. So little by little, I'm going to expand. You know, one of the things that I plan on doing is having an app that's associated with my event. So and those. Those apps are going to be a great resource for singles, a place where you can go to find dating coaches to ask a question and get. And get some advice.

Memberships for my event. So there's just. There's a lot of. I want to do workshops. I want. The biggest thing, as I think everybody has gotten from this conversation, is the fact that what makes my events unique is the fact that we do these icebreakers and these games to help people engage and learn each other at a deeper level. So I am going to want to have more intimate workshops and forums that are going to, you know, maybe contain five to 10 people where you can get to know people a little deeper. Those kind of things are going to be coming with my app. So little by little, trying to work on things. So please follow me, subscribe to my website. Yes. You're going to get a lot of emails about events that are not near you. But when I do come near you, at least, least now you'll know there and you'll be able to share it with your friends and come out and get to experience a be visionary event.

So good. Thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

And for you guys, you're gonna do the dare, so go to a bar by yourself. It could be a nice restaurant. Feel free to dress up and just talk to someone, say, hey, that meal looks amazing. Or what do you recommend for a meal? Whatever it is, just kind of like start a conversation with something and let us know how it went. And then tomorrow I'm going live on Instagram, which is not normal for me. So come check that out. It's that do the thing formula. It's with Katie.

Hold on, let me pull it up really quick.

It is. Here we go.

One second.

Here we go.

It is dating with Katie, who has a great podcast. And so that's going to be tomorrow at 4. And then what else is there? Oh, and Sunday, next Sunday, it's another mystery. Yeah, so there's that. All right, you guys, so wonderful seeing you. Thanks again, Rosanna. I really appreciate doing this, Stacey.

And thank you, everyone for joining. Appreciate you.

Do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity.