Episode 135 - Matthew McClure On Overcoming Fear On Stage As A Stand-Up Comedian

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So I did the thing, and last year I asked myself what would be the most terrifying thing that I could do and that thing ended up being stand up comedy. And so I took me a while to actually get myself to want to do the thing, but I finally got got there and did it. And I actually met our next guest that is with me today. Through that experience, I ended up signing up for a five week comedy class. And it was so much more than I even expected when I signed up for it, because it wasn't even really about the standup comedy. It was about just being with people that were wanting the same thing as me and really encouraging and supportive and positive and therapeutic in a way. And I'm really excited to get a chance to talk to our next guest. His name is Matt. And it's funny because, yeah, I met our next guest, Matt, who really was on a similar trajectory. It was his first time doing standup comedy as well and just really struck me as someone that I wanted to be able to interview with and kind of talk through the shared experience that we had together. And I also ended up going to his. Me and my other friends that were in the comedy show had gone to his house for a holiday party and we got to meet a lot of his friends and I got to see how he does the thing as far as making friends too. So I thought that could be something we talk about. So anyway, without further ado, I am introducing Matt to the show. Hi, Matt.

Hey, Stacy. Glad to be on podcast. First time ever being on podcast. So you got a trailblaze with me today.

Yay. And it's cool because I got to see you. We both got to see each other do a lot of first things doing this comedy thing. So I think it kind of adds to all of these cool new beginnings we've got going on.

Yeah. And that's why I was, when you asked me about it, I was this Sales. Interesting and interesting experience, but I got to keep saying yes to stuff that is a little weird, but some stuff that I want to do and want to keep doing. So not letting that kind of uneasiness about doing something new stop you from doing anything?

Yeah, actually, I kind of want to stay there for a minute, if you don't mind, because the yes to stuff that might be different and weird, where did that end up coming from? Was that something that you kind of set out as a goal or has it just sort of happened synergistically?

Well, I think that that's just how you gotta live life in a little bit of a way, because there's always gonna be stuff you want to do that you also don't want to do because it's either a lot of work or freaks you out because you haven't done it before. You're not sure what people are gonna think about it or how you're gonna feel about it. So then you kind of just take the easy route, don't do anything. I think that applies to pretty much every aspect of life. So I think that that's what I got into comedy for, was to really just do something that I knew freaked me out and terrified me so that I could get over that at that whole new level.

Yeah. Isn't it amazing, too, when you kind of face the fear that. Which I think is terrifying for so many people. But then when we actually were in the middle doing it, it just. I don't know how this was for you, but it. It didn't even seem as scary as I thought it would be.

Yeah, totally. The hardest part is getting up there. Once you're up there, it's really not that bad. Once I realized initially, I was like, I don't know if I want to tell anyone about the comedy show because I don't want to go and see me potentially bomb or not do that great or whatever. But I was like, you know, that's the whole point of me doing this class is to get up there and not care what people think about it. So I gotta invite people. But then once I invited everyone, it made it so much better because as long as they're not a jerk, pretty much most people will actually. They're actually super supportive. What you're trying to do if something you're doing out of your comfort zone for the first time. So it ended up being way easier than I thought it would be. The hardest part was just that they. Two days before the show, not actually doing the show.

Yeah. I'd Love to talk about what was the thing that actually got you to sign up? And even when you. How did you even find out about it? And how did you actually register?

Taking a step back then, I guess. So I started a financial consulting business at a company in 2016, and so it really took me probably three, four years to really get it going. And then Covid happened, and then I really started getting more momentum where I had time and money to do things about summer of 2021. So I just started to do more stuff after that. And I was having so much fun hanging out with friends. I had a girlfriend at the time, going on trips for the summer, things I hadn't done for years because of the COVID And when I started my business for 2022, I was like, I want to keep a social challenge going, if you will. Like, keep doing things that just stretch my comfort zone socially. Because I had been doing it for my business for a number of years, five, six years. So I wanted to do it more on a personal level. And I lived down the street from a theater, and I saw a sign for improv classes when I want to go get lunch one day. And it's kind of funny when you put stuff out there, right? Like write down a goal or something, or you just keep thinking about it, you start looking for. It's kind of get a new car, you get a Ford Focus or whatever, and then you're like, holy shit, there's a thousand Ford Focuses all over the road because you're looking for them. So then I was looking for something like that, and I saw the sign for the improv class, and I was going, all right, well, this is it. I think I got to do it. I mean, it's down the street from my house. I could walk there. It was super convenient. So I started doing the improv. And then I wanted to keep doing one more level, keep leveling up the social challenge, if you will. So after I did the improv for probably six months, I thought the next step was stand up. So that's why I joined the standup class.

So how did you end up? How was it for you? And I guess I'm going to ask you for either one for the improv or the standup, whichever one might have been harder when it was the time to go to it. How was that for you? Was it easy for you just to go, or did you have to pull yourself out of your house?

Yeah, I had to stop. I would say the improv just because it was newer. Basically, for the first 10, 12 weeks, I did improv every single time for the class. The class was at seven or whatever. An hour before six o' clock would roll around. I'll go, shit, should I go today? Should I not go today? I don't know if I should. I really don't want to go, but it's like, oh, I got. I got to do it. I got to do it, because I promise, if I do it and I really got nothing to lose, so whatever, I just go. And then after doing that for the whole probably like six months for the improv, and then I did the improv show in front of a hundred people, and then it went way better than I thought it would. So that gave me a lot. Going to the standup class was more chill, right? Because you kind of just go. And for the most of the class, you're kind of just talking and thinking about stuff, and you only go up there for 10 or 20 minutes, where the improv class on stage, doing stuff for the whole two hours. So the going into the standup classes was easier, and I think doing the standup show was a little bit harder because it's all on you, but because I had the experience of doing it with the improv class, and it turned out way better than I thought it would, that. That gave me encouragement. So it was a little bit easier for the stand up. Not because stand up's easier, but because of how I went about it.

Yeah. And you've already had that muscle flexed with the improv and got to see the end result of it, too. And what you got out of it.

Yeah. And it was exhilarating. Once you're done with it. It's awesome.

Yeah, let's talk through that. Should I go? Should I not go? Because I actually had that too. I. I registered with no problem because I had a couple friends, as you met them, that went also, and that helped me join. But the day that it was the first day to go, I didn't want to go. I was trying to think, who can I give this thing? I just don't want to go.

Yeah, you're gonna come up with some excuse and you're like, oh, my friends are there. I really don't have a good excuse of them. They go, I'm not gonna have. I'm gonna have to talk to him about it and tell them I bail.

Exactly. No, that was literally the only reason I went, was because my friends are going to be there and because I had to pull myself out of the house to go because I was going Through a personal thing that day too. And I wasn't really feeling it. And then I remember going and just. It gave me so much energy because of just the way that it set up and structured. So I was happy that my friends were there because if they weren't, I don't know what I would have done. So I was just curious for you, when that shift happens of the Should I go? Should I not go? How do you go? And the reason I'm asking that is just because so many people have that right. It's not just us. It's a thing for whatever thing they want to do. Whether it's go on a date or get a new job or ask for the promotion. It's. We all have that inner person that's chatting with us and trying to pull us back to the safety zone.

Well, I think it's just an internal battle you gotta win because. And I think having my own business helped a lot of that because you have to do that all the time for everything as with you. Right. I mean, so you had a staffing agency 20 years. Okay. So yeah. I mean there's always stuff you don't want to do that you just got to take care of. Otherwise you're not going to get what you want in life, essentially. So it's what is more important. And also.

What is it called when you give yourself a little bit of pain to get yourself to do stuff? One thing that I do is so saying 6 o' clock rolls around for the class. I don't go to class. Then I would just terrible about myself the whole rest of the night because I'm like, I totally was stout and I didn't do it. And I would just not feel good about myself because I. I knew I could do it. It was just a matter of like actually doing it. And once you get there, you said it gives you energy. So it's. Once you actually do the things that freak you out on the other side, you feel way better. I just. I wanted to feel better about myself the next morning or the after the class and not have to live with that, I guess personal shame. But it's. It's just about. I think everyone's a little bit different. The methods of the madness. But for me, I think writing it down is really important. Writing down your goals. I do that every morning just because it helps me get motivated and get going. And then remind yourself of what you want because it's easy to get sidetracked all the time. So I think it's just weighing the Pros and cons of how are you going to feel now or after if you do it or you don't do it? And the answer is always, you'll feel way better. And it's really not that as hard as you think it is if you just do it.

That's really good advice. How will I feel after I either do it or I don't do it? That could apply to everything, right? Whether it's exercising or comedy show or anything you want to do.

Yeah, totally. And that's honestly what kind of got me into why I love. Want to keep doing this. Because I've never felt more relieved of that feeling in. Than now in my life. There's always stuff that you want to do that you don't do and that you kind of makes you feel like you're holding back or you're not. You're not doing everything you could do. And for me, that was. I didn't have a problem doing things, playing sports, getting good at putting myself out there to keep good at business or sports or, like, skills or hobbies, but with more social stuff, friends or having fun at the expense of being judged or whatever. Relationships. That was something that I always. I kind of didn't fully invest into. And I was just sick of having that feeling. Could have done that. I should have done that. That's annoying. It's like, why live with that Venus? Power through it in the moment and then you don't have to deal with that feeling anymore.

Yeah. Can you. And I love the word social challenge. I don't actually think I've heard of those words together. I love that because I do that do the thing dating dare challenge. And I've actually was thinking of being a team. I was. It's basically where I try to get people off dating apps and get them to do different dares to meet people out in the wilderness and things like that. And I was just thinking of changing the name from Dating Dare to just do the thing Dare Challenge. So then they'll do different dares, but. So I'm exploring that idea now. But what other kinds of social challenges are you. Are you doing for yourself?

Well, dating is an easy one. And just I think maybe this is kind of what you're describing. Just generally not outside of dating. Just going up and talking to people that you want to talk to, figure out what you did right. Or you just see someone walking around and you think they're attractive, you want to talk to or that person, new person in the office you want to get advice from. Them or whatever. It's super easy to just be like, ah, I don't. Certainly not a big deal. I won't miss out on anything if I don't do it. So it's easy to just pass it off. But if you just get. So I've been just trying to do more things that just anytime I want to do something, essentially talk to a person just going and doing it with, you know, within the next 20 minutes or something.

Yeah. Circumstance that you set a challenge for yourself to do it within 20 minutes. So then you don't talk yourself out of it, basically.

Yeah. Or if it's a person you just are seeing a random walk of life, you have to kind of do it in five seconds, otherwise you're not going to do it because then the opportunity passes.

And do you use that same strategy with the how will I feel after? Or do you have another strategy?

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a big part of it. I try to. I think for me, when it comes to doing stuff like that, visualizing the potential positive outcome is the best motivation to get me to do it. But also on the flip side, so you have something pulling you towards some positive outcome and also having the negative feeling you'll have afterwards if you don't do it. So you have like a thing on the bottom pushing you up from the bottom because you don't want to feel away from a negative outcome. You have something on the top pointing towards the top.

Well, for the listeners, do you mind sharing the comedy part of the experience? Cause I'd love to just have you articulate what it was for you just in terms of the magic behind that five week experience that we went through.

Well, for me, yeah, it was, I guess what was the biggest takeaways. So I mean, every class is still kind of tough to go there because you got to go up on stage and talk about yourself. And going up on stage in front of anyone can be difficult. But after doing the class for a couple of the first class when we all went up, I didn't realize that's when we were supposed to practice our material. I just thought we were going there, just talk about ourselves or something. I had no idea what's going on. But after like the second or third class, I realized, oh, that's when you're supposed to practice your material and then the class tells you what's good or not. So I think in between class it was a lot of work actually coming up with material, which I was surprised, but it was also really cool because you got to be self reflective because you end up talking about yourself. So in a way it was almost self therapy I think for mostly everyone in the class or especially for people, it was newer for. I mean, you were there, I was. Some people just go up there and just talk about their issues or whatever and not have anything to do with comedy for like 10 or 15 minutes, which it was totally fit the class. It wasn't weird at all with the vibe of everything that was going on, which I thought was very welcoming and awesome. So it ended up being self therapy in a way, I guess. Right. When you hear any professional stand up comics, they talk a lot of intimate details about themselves, which you only think of how vulnerable that makes you until you do it yourself. Holy crap. I'm supposed to talk about and make fun of myself in front of all these people verbally and not just think about in my own head. It's a whole different battle. And like I told you before, I think. Which is intuitive and not that big of a discovery. But with the class, when you're trying to write the jokes about your topic, it was very interesting having to articulate the whole joke because a lot of times you're thinking about how you feel about how people view you. Or my thing was right, I'm like a nerdy white guy and a lot of people look me for anything other than mathematics or putting together a spreadsheet. So it's thinking through that. Because when you normally think to yourself and you're thinking through different thoughts that you have, you typically are kind to yourself and how you're actually articulating it. You, there's gaps in your thinking and the logic that you make. So you have a story that you tell yourself. You go A through Z. Well, you typically skip steps and go from A to B and then D to E and then E to F and then G to M and then M to N and then N to O and. But there's gaps in your thinking and in order to make a good joke, it has to all make sense the whole story. You have to think of every single step along the way and make it funny. So it kind of reveals your. The self thinking that you have about these different topics, your life. It reveals how you really hadn't thought through this before, which could be extremely prominent theme in your entire life that you really hadn't thought through before. So I found that very helpful and interesting just going through that process of writing material that you actually have to make the whole thought make sense.

Yeah, I love that. And I, I agree. I feel like I got so many dots connected in my life that I've never even thought of before and even I'm writing a book right now. Undo the thing. And it did more, even more than that process because I wasn't really.

Okay. That would be super extensive. You gotta make everything make sense. I mean go like way down the rabbit hole of your. Whatever you're. Yeah.

I think there's something about. And it's something I'm gonna take with me now as I'm writing the book. But there was something about speaking it out loud while. And then hearing people's response to what you're saying. And then it helps the dots connect. Cause if they're confused at all, it's not. It's still something that's in your head.

Yeah. Nope. Yeah, totally. That's where the class is. Learning to scare. I was like the third or fourth class, I was like, oh, I'm kind of starting to get this. I got some material together. This can be great. And then like I say it out loud in class and everyone just looks at me.

What exactly? Well, that's what I thought was so cool about you because you. There was some stuff where people were telling you what they thought was funny. But then you'd come in the next class and we would ask about it and you're. Well, it's not true. It doesn't feel right for me. I'm not going to say something that doesn't feel. Feel right. And then you had other material and I love that. I think that's really cool because you're kind of getting to your own voice. You're not speaking to someone else's voice.

Yeah, totally. And I don't know, what would you get? What do you most about the class?

Yeah, I mean honestly I, I most valuable. I wasn't able to verbalize it the way you just did. But that self reflective thing, I think, I mean I looked at it as pure therapeutic for me. I mean I like the fact that I got a lot of speaking experience with people that I didn't know. Even though I had a couple of friends or there were so many other people that I didn't know. And, and just seeing the supportive nature, I think I really like that of everyone in the class and everyone was so willing to help and encouraging. It was just. And it, and it leveled things up. So every time we'd get to record it and then you'd get to hear it, hear where the laughs were and then hear the feedback and then you got to then expand on it, I got so much more than comedy. It's a life. I think it's a life experience that I think everyone should do at least once.

I know I've been recommending it to everyone because it was so cool. Also, one thing I got pretty used to now, watching and hearing myself on video, which if you don't do that normally, it's so cringy.

Listening to yourself talk. But that's how these sounds. There's total disconnect between how you think you sound and how you sound to everyone else in the world that's not you. And so I got a little bit more realistic grasp of that, which is important if you're trying to make good comedy, because nobody sees you how you see you. And it's important to know how people perceive you. Otherwise you're kind of talking in different languages a little bit. Every experience you have helps you for the next experience, even if it's totally different. Someone in our class, if you remember, were you there the last class, he was talking about how he feel like I wasted all this time totally. And I can relate to that because now I've been here seven years in this business and I'm crap now. 30 years old. I spent so much, much time in my early mid-20s up until a year and a half ago, basically not hanging out with friends, not spending money, not going on trips. I talked to a bunch of other friends. They've done all these international trips, done this, and studied abroad and lived in Spain for a year. I haven't done any of that because I was doing this damn job. But at the same time, everyone's a different place. So it's not like anyone's better or worse off. They're just better or worse at different things. And I think that what I really learned about it is how to motivate myself and how to set goals that I'll be able to follow through on is the number one thing I think I learned from this job. And that kind of translates to help you get anything in life. So I think it helped me set realistic expectations to do things that I would actually do. And then also the main way I got clients was through cold calls, which is another way of nobody wants to cold calls because you're afraid of rejection or whatever and just kind of sucks because you do a lot of work and get much positive feedback. But so I was kind of prepared in that way to do things without getting a laws of external rewards that I wanted at least for a period of time. And it Helped me slog through the mess where you didn't get anything you wanted, but having the faith that in the end you will get it. It's just a matter, not a matter of if, but when. So it really helped me motivate myself through that process.

Yeah, you built your patience, muscle and sounds like you got more resilient during it too. And so what was your way Setting goals? How. What do you think you learned there when you mentioned realistic goals? What do those look like?

Well, I, I just realized that it, I. It makes me sound kind of simple, I think, which is, is good. I don't know the difference between guys and girls. I don't know if I can make good analogy where guys can just be dumb and enjoy themselves sitting on the couch watching sports all day and be totally content, happy with that or feel like girls, they need to talk to people and have more things going on to entertain themselves. Otherwise they get bored and can't just be okay with that simple Tim lifestyle. Where for me, I, I need some carrot to chase, if you will. Like I need some golden ticket at the end of the road to chase. Otherwise it's as dumb as it sounds. I lose a lot of enthusiasm for things, so I always need a goal motivated me. Otherwise I tend to just get a little down or just lack of energy. As an example, the improv class I did for six months basically, and then the show was done and I couldn't do the next Improv Clouds because I had a schedule conflict. That was something that I'd been working super hard on for a couple weeks just because I didn't want to do bad in the show. Right. And then Anna had been doing it for six months and that was the thing that was motivating me, like getting good enough to do the show. And once it was over, I had a high because of the show. And then combined with the fact that I didn't have anything to chase, that was quite as motivating as before. It was two or three weeks after the show and I'm like, man, I'm feeling a little weird and not energized as I was like, what's going on? And then I signed up for the standup class just basically out of to get something that would give me excited along with all those other reasons. But that was part of it too. Once I signed up for the standup class, I was like, I need to get good at stand up so I don't blow it at the show. Then that helped. So I think just writing down every year I write down how much clients and how much money I want to make with my business, how much I wanted to grow, stuff like that. And just write it down every day helps keep focused and enthusiastic about things.

And you know what? You're. I didn't even think about it in the way that you just said it with the whole. Signing up for the standup was in fact, the goal that you needed to do it. It's the same reason why someone signs up for a half marathon. They want to start running. It's just. It gives you a bigger goal that put the deadline on it for you. So then you aren't even burning as much energy to do it because you already have this path that you need to follow in order to fulfill it.

Yeah. And then makes you step up. Said like, once you actually do the thing right afterwards, you feel better about it, even if you're feeling down the dumps. I'm tired today. I got bad sleep. Everyone was a jerk to me all day at work. I didn't get any clients today. Everyone rejected me. And then just one more thing. He's got to keep doing one more thing. And then once you show up to the class and afterwards, feel better. Like, oh, my God, I can't believe I would have almost didn't come to class because of course I feel better afterwards.

Yeah. I love that. I love that. Do one more thing in the. In the direction of your goal, too. That's so good. So I told you before I really wanted to find out your friend story because I really was. I was drawn by all of your friends and how supportive and encouraging they are. I was just wondering if you mind sharing a little bit about how you guys got connected and how you've been able to stay in that kind of bubble of. I mean, that really is the idea of those five people arounding surrounding you. Right. Where you're the average of the five people that surround you. I think you really built that around you.

Oh, thanks. That's a good compliment. I don't know. I just. Bringing people in your life that are gonna bring you down at all and. Yeah, I mean, I've been out there. Most the ones you met are those. They're mostly friends from high school or college that I just kept in touch with that I've lived in San Diego, various points since then. And so, yeah, we have a lot of history together, so we know each other really well. Yeah. And I think you can keep a friend that a long time. 15 years, usually. It's because you have a lot of Similarities. And you're. Takes effort to be a good friend too at times. So I think just cultivating that over time and making sure that they're good people and not discouraging you to do stuff. I mean, I don't know, we just make a point to hang out as frequently as we can. And yeah, I guess I think it's important to. Because it's kind of easy sometimes, like have friends or get relationships with people that are make sense now, but that there's something about them that is going to clash. So it's used, I don't know, I guess with them I've never had to deal with that. So I'm grateful for that. To have good friends like that. And yeah, nice to be like I said, I thought it was cool to see how once I did something like this, pretty much everyone that I talked about was actually really supportive and not judging, which was my fear, which I realize is kind of irrational.

Okay, Matt, the time is here. So what is your number one piece of advice for the listeners on doing the thing?

Okay, is this like the grand finale?

Finale?

Yeah. That's cool. So my advice, what helps me, I mean I can only speak for myself, not that I have the answers, is that writing down my goals every day has been the number one thing that I've ever done that has changed my life. Because it helps you keep every day focus on what the end goal for is so that you can suffer the in between moments that suck that you're not going to want to do to get to that angle because it's a constant reminder of why you're doing it and what you're going for. I mean, you can make that bigger than the negative. The negative things facing you when you're trying to make a decision, whether that fear, potential failure, losing money in your business, or getting rejected by a person or whatever. If you can make that positive outcome bigger than negative outcome, that helps me. And I think the number one way I've done that is by writing down my goals every single day.

I'm so glad you were able to take the time and do this with me, Matt. This was so much fun and I really appreciate you sharing all about us being able to talk about the shared experience that we had with the standup comedy for the first time, how you got connected with your friends and all the good things. And it was amazing having you on here. So thank you.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show, but even we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast co or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.