Episode 180 - Atira Shoffner On The Power Of Finding The Right Community For Growth

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So, my gosh, it is so cool have the opportunity to meet the people that I get to meet just by having my podcast. And I met my next guest through the challenges I've been doing. I actually had partnered with a company called Challenge Makers, and she's one of the brains that is behind the company and has been helping me come up with all the different challenges that I've been coming up with for do the Thing. And she's actually even had run my community for one of the challenges as well. So she's just really in sync with the things that I've been doing, and through that process, we've become friends. And the last challenge that I was starting, which was the Start a Podcast challenge, she pretty much was asking why I wanted to do that and why did I think it was important for people to start podcasts. And I was telling her the reasons why. And I won't get all into it all into this intro, because we'll talk about it during the interview, but I was telling her why I was excited about it. And at the time, she wasn't even remotely interested in starting a podcast. But through our conversations, all of a sudden, something clicked, and she was like, wait, actually, I would be interested in starting it. Maybe it could have been by me, as she says in her first episode, harassing her to do it, but she did have some kind of click there. And I thought that it was really cool because now that I'm listening to her podcast and getting to see what she's talking about, it's. It just shows me the power of changing something in someone's mind, like having this, like, one little button that can click something on, and then the people that can benefit from that change in the mindset. And so because to me, her podcast is so many things, and that's what it is. It's so many things to do, and there's so much about it that I think can really help people really see everything that's abundant out there for them and all the different possibilities that they can do. And so, anyway, so I'm really excited to have her come on, and we could talk about her starting the podcast and also all of the fun things that she's been up to. So I am excited to welcome Atira to the show. Hey, Atira.

Hi, Stacy. Thank you so much for that intro. I loved it.

Thank you. I am so excited to get a chance to talk to you. You were just pure joy, and I just really love just getting a chance to talk to you directly. And then also, I think I've seen, like, another side of you now that I've seen your podcast too, and so that's been really, really fun, too.

That's so funny, because my middle name is Joy, so that's funny you say that. But also, I've just loved getting to know you in this way, too, because it's so fun working with you. But then it's just. I'm like, man, I want to talk to Stacy, like, you know, in a different way because you're just such a cool person. Getting to know you outside of that space, too.

Thank you. And, yeah, it's interesting, too, because you. In one of the episodes that you did for your podcast, you interviewed Alicia, who's the. The other. The other one. The other brain, calling you guys brain, the other brain behind Challenge Makers. And, oh, my gosh, I got to see a whole other side of her that I never saw. And I really like that you're able to bring out somebody's true essence, who they are as a person. I feel like that's a. That's a really special gift that you have, too.

Oh, my gosh, what a compliment, Stacy. That just made my week. That's so sweet. Oh, my gosh. I do love Alicia. She's like the other half of my brain. So that was a fun one.

Yeah. I even posted it. I'm in a. And it's called an NFT Mastermind with Ryan Moran, who. She does a lot of stuff in that group and. And not in the. In the mastermind group, but in the Ryan Rand's network. And I posted that episode in that NFT Mastermind. I'm like, if you guys ever wanted to see another side of Alicia, Renoso watch this episode, because I don't think it's so cool to get to see a whole another side of someone come out just through. Through you being able to talk to them.

Right. So funny. I love that. Yeah.

Oh, Good.

I'd love to start off and just have you share with the listeners more about you and your story.

My story. Okay, so my story feels like a long one, but I'm only 25. Do you want, like why I started the podcast? Otherwise I feel lost here. I can start there. I have raging ADHD, so I could take this 40 different ways if we wanted to. I am a very, I don't know, I just like to do a ton of different things. I'm very creative. I've always loved to draw, to paint, and I've tried really almost every hobby out there except stained glass. I have all the tools, everything. I love working too. I have two jobs. Not because I need it, just because I can't not be doing something. I guess that's kind of where I land there. Does that answer your question?

Oh, totally, yeah. And so when you started doing like drawing and painting, what kind of drew you to that? I'm curious because I know you have this huge creative side where even in your first episode you're making jewelry as you're talking, which I, I, I absolutely love. I think I've told you that before because of the podcast name. It's like so perfect. But I was just curious, when did you start exploring different things?

Really? It was so I was kind of, ever since I was little, I kind of had a very left brain, like very science minded. I loved science and math and kind of my sister was the opposite. She was always doing artistic things, always creative, and my mom kind of just fostered both of those things, so. But I took my focus there. And then one time, I don't know why, but I thought I'd try drawing or something and I liked it and I was good at it. So I just kept getting into it and then the more, the more you, I really believe anyone could be good at drawing. The more you practice, the better you get. And that kind of feeling of doing something well really is really what kept me going. I guess I just like doing it well. And then you want to try more things. I've always wanted to do construction or something. So I'd get go from drawing to the silversmithing with the torch and everything. So just got deeper and more creative the more I did. Really?

And then how did you like? Because I think a lot of times when someone's going to try something new, they kind of get into that self doubt. Okay. I don't know if I'd be good at this thing. And then maybe they won't even get started. What's Your kind of theory on, on that. How do you kind of get out of that and not even go there?

So I go there all the time, except in a different, you know, I really don't. The only time I've ever felt that feeling was starting this podcast. I'm like, I, I can't do this, or this looks stupid. That's really the first time in probably 15 years I felt like that because I have a few different problems with my heart and my health. So I've always been. Other kids want to play soccer. I'm like, I can't do that. I have no interest in that. Be good at that because my heart's gonna hurt. It's gonna not make me feel good. So I've always kind of accepted limitations that and just dealt with it. And it's, that's kind of where the mentality, if you can't do one thing, just do another, so find something else to do, stay busy kind of thing.

Yeah. Do you mind sharing more about that? When did you find out that was something that you had?

Well, I've gotten migraines since I was 10. I still don't know why, but it would be two or three times a week I've had a headache. If you have a headache, you don't want to go hang out with your friends or. There's just always been certain things where I've said no to because I didn't feel well. And then probably about in middle school I got diagnosed with POTS and dysautonomia. And I have also Ehlers Danlos syndrome. So those were all kind of diagnosed between middle school and high school. And it really wasn't a big deal. I mean, some things can be frustrating and there was probably a period of self pity moping, but you just gotta kind of accept it and roll with it. I did always want to climb like Mount Everest or do these crazy things, but I just kind of accept that there's other things that I'm good at that other people aren't. And that's just the way people are.

Yeah. So how did you get there where you could have done the self pity moping? And you probably did that for a little bit. Right. And then how did you get out of it to get into that acceptance of where you're at?

I feel like it's, it's easy to get stuck in the self pity mentality kind of. I just didn't want to do that. I like to be productive. I mean, obviously it didn't happen overnight when you're A teenager, you love to mope about yourself or about your situation. But I just. Once you keep doing other things that you're good at and focusing on your strengths, that's what becomes important rather than all the other things you can't do. That doesn't seem as important as the things you can. If you keep going. That's so good.

So when you were focusing on your strengths, did you have a specific way that you did that, or was it just naturally to you?

No, I would like. It was just natural. You know, in class, you focus on. I loved marine biology, so I signed up for that class. Or I'd come home and do some art instead of where other people would be going to practice. I know I tried out for the track team one time and I made it, but I, like, passed out in a race. So it's just. Instead of that, you do the other. I don't know.

Yeah, I love that. This idea for. And we'll go into the podcast in a few minutes, but I wanted to stay here for a minute. But the idea of this. So many things to do is. Stemmed from. You almost have restrictions with what you can do. So then you're. You're sort of like now becoming more abundant with the things that you're able to do because you want to do everything now.

You're so cool. I think I'll tell everyone before Stacy was. You'll go over advice for people. And I was, oh, I have no advice. I don't know what to talk about. And she's, oh, that'll come. And I didn't even realize that about myself until I've started talking Stacy. So that was really cool that you found that. Cause I just found that out with you. So good teamwork. Yay.

Yeah, that's amazing. I mean, it just shows that whatever you have, if someone's listening, right, and they have something going on, whether it's like a health issue or a stutter or some kind of learning disability, it's when you can look at your strengths. Right. And not focus on the. The pity and the moping with whatever that thing is, then I think the world opens up to you in that way.

And I don't want to get myself canceled here before I even get started. But I think a lot of people get stuck in focusing on what they can't do or the victim mentality. I know I'm in support groups for people with the same health disorder. And it's like, it's not that my disease isn't bad, but you could always have it worse, you could always have it better. So why not just be grateful for where you're at and focus on what you can do?

Yeah, so I'd love to hear more about that with the support group because as you know, the do the thing formula, one of the letters is M for my people, which is surrounding yourself with people that are going through the same thing as you, that want the same things to give you that connectedness to grow. So is that something you've been doing for a while to be able to. To help you through these health challenges?

I joined them and I kind of didn't really find my people. I found a lot of. I hate to say this, but I found a lot of, like, the for me post kind of thing, and I just didn't find that inspiring. I think it was really finding friendship with Alicia that kind of got me more excited and more inspired because she's so driven too. I mean, she's very focused on marketing, where I'm kind of focused on anything that's got my attention. You know, any hobby or anything, really. But it's kind of the same drive that we both have to just keep being productive and keep creating productive things. So that was really not. I've always had the mindset, but it's really keeps me going to be surrounded by a similar mindset, like you're saying.

Yeah. And I really. I appreciate you being honest too, about the groups, because I've gone through different support groups before, whether it be parenting or just different things that I've gone through. And a lot of times I'm using a word that isn't popular, but I'm going to use it. They could be trauma bonding, you know, where people are kind of like talking and it becomes an elevated thing, which is where that, that huge distinction really has to be. They have to want the same things as you, which is to get out of that place. Right. And to move forward. So I'm glad that you mentioned that because sometimes you might think you're finding your people, but it's only gonna to bring you down, not bring you up a hundred percent.

And I think that there's a time and place for communicating your current struggles, but it's definitely not gonna be the Internet. You know, you're not gonna. You're not gonna find a good, good advice from the Internet. But I really don't think, you know, people are looking for advice most of the time, to be honest. Yeah.

What do you think? And then I wanna. I wanna go on to the other stuff, but, like, I'm curious, too. Like, what do you think helped you see that so easily? To then be able to. To not be in the group anymore and then to continue to look, which is then when you and Alicia were able to connect in that way.

I don't know. It takes a lot of. A lot of growth and a lot of. Not a lot of time, but I don't know the answer to that. I've always. I think I've grown up a lot since maybe in the last seven years. And it's just different life experiences. And you are who you. The top five people you surround yourself with. And I think once I got surrounded with the right people, it was easier to keep the positive attitude instead of being drugged down. So the. My people. And the formula is definitely one of the most important steps, because if you're still. I know I started working with Alicia, and I still had this one friendship that was just kind of bringing me down. And I felt once I stopped talking to that person, I felt a lot more growth. So in different ways, you know, not just the support group, but it's definitely who you surround yourself with that's most important to how you see your life.

So good. Okay, I'd love to move forward. And let's talk about the podcast. So we're in a meeting. I think this might have been our second meeting as we're talking about the startup podcast challenge, where you guys were like, why are you so passionate about this? And then I was sort of explaining what my reasoning was, and then something all of a sudden, like, clicked where you're, well, maybe I do want to start a podcast. I'm just curious if you remember kind of what happened for you and what that shift was about.

So I've always liked podcasts. I listened to this one Meat Eater podcast, and I. I just love that podcast. I love nature. I don't like hunting. It's a hunting podcast, but they also talk about nature. They talk about animals. And I love that. And I just, man, I don't have a business to support talking about the cool things I want to talk about. Plus, you know, you need one subject. I don't have one subject. I know surface level of 500 things instead of a lot about one thing. So I think when you started talking about, I think once you kind of were like, you don't need a business. These people don't need a business to talk about anything. They can talk about anything. And once we were going through your goals for the challenge and kind of wanting people to find their voice, Really, I think the biggest thing for me was realizing you don't need a business, you don't need even need anyone to listen. I kind of was lost in that. Who would listen to me? And then you were, no one needs to listen to it, no one needs to hear it, no one needs to care, and you can quit any time. And that was just kind of, oh, man, that's so true. Why am I hung up on? Like, what if IT needs to make money? Or what if it. Who. Who do I get ads from? It's like it really, you're just talking into a computer. Why do you need anything?

Totally. And then what gave you the idea for the name? And like, because all of that, everything just sort of started magically, at least for my idea. All of a sudden it was, this is the name. And then you already had an image. And it was just. Everything went so quick. And I was just curious kind of what that thought process was from the time that you made the decision to try it. And then to the point of where you, where you got.

Well, we made that the kind of the quiz for you that once we were laying out those weekly challenges. For your challenge, I was, what would I talk about? The idea of your challenge was to write down topics every day. And I was, what would I talk about? And I was like, well, you know, I'd probably talk about the things I know about or I love talking to Even my Neighbor Nancy, she's 80 years old. She has so many things to talk about. She'll tell me about her life all the time. I want to talk about making jewelry. I want to talk to people. And it was just kind of realizing there's so many things I want to talk about, and it's all kind of based on people's passions and their careers. Because that's what I'm passionate about, is working and producing, being productive. So I don't know, it just felt it. Just once I had the idea, it was kind of like, well, obviously that's what I should do. You know, it felt obvious. Once you think about what you're passionate about, that's what you talk about.

And so how did you. When you're thinking about what you're passionate about, was that like a writing exercise? Are you just thinking or how did you get into that headspace to kind of like do that?

Oh, I was, I was just thinking, Just thinking. And I was. I wrote down a few ideas. I started doing. I actually did start doing the write down. Once I decided to do it, it was really thinking About Nancy as like, I need to talk to Nancy. What would I talk to Nancy about? Her careers? Because she would have been one of the first people I interviewed. I just haven't had time to go see her. But I was okay. Well, I talked to Nancy about her career and then I started like, I'm like, okay, who else will I talk about? And I did start doing the right one thing a day you could talk about. So I've got like little mini list on my phone. And it just kind of made the idea seem better and better the more I got.

Did you have any thoughts as it was happening that got you either motivated or unmotivated, where you were like, oh yeah, this is totally feeling good. Or oh wait, why am I doing this again?

Sometimes I feel like we so good we had those weekly calls building your challenge. Because sometimes I'd feel not like imposter syndrome, but like I have a lot of. I don't know, like I said, I hadn't felt this way in like 15 years, but a lot of what will people think? And I, I haven't cared about that in so long that it was just scared me. It put me in a panic. I still don't even. I mean, I have it in my bio, but I haven't posted the reels I want to post or shared it on my Facebook. Just because I do have that self doubt that kind of not unmotivates me, but it's just, why should I do this? And I'm trying to work through and overcome that, but that's definitely a struggle. But then you'd re motivate me on the weekly cause by like, I love everything you're doing. It was so sweet. So I love that.

Yeah, I mean, it's because it's. It just amazes me and I think that's what I love about this, your story. You know, it's just the way that you're able to see things in a different way that is new and different. I mean, even what you were talking about with Elise Alicia, oh my God, like it's hilarious. Like you're, you have so many things that you say that are so hilarious. The thing where you said thought entrepreneurs were just douchebags or something. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was hilarious because I think. Cause I've been an entrepreneur pretty much my whole life. I don't even know that's like something that comes up.

But it's like I should explain that since your listeners are entrepreneurs. But like when I was younger, I just Heard through high school, it was like all the douchebag guys in high school had like entrepreneur in their bio. It just kind of felt like a way to explain where they got their dad's money. So I was just like, that's not a real word. That's not even a real job, I don't get it, I don't care kind of thing. So that's what, where that came from. And it wasn't until meeting Alicia where I was like, that's what an entrepreneur is. You have your own business. Okay, I got it. Some people use it correctly and some people just use it to explain why they're not really doing anything. Yeah.

And the way you were able to like get her to talk about to what, why she even became an entrepreneur, I think was, was so, was so cool in just the way that you're able to see things. Right. And so. Yeah. Anyway, the point, my point being is just I don't think, and I'm saying this for the listeners because you just don't know what impact you're going to have on people until you move and you start. And so that's why, like, I think to me this has been like just a powerful experience with you kind of seeing your light come out and your expression of who you are come out. Because anyone I've shared it with has been like, oh my gosh, that's so, so good. Because of the entertainment and the knowledge and the open mindedness and the fun and you just bring this whole other vibe to it. And so anyway, just getting to see, just getting to see your growth has.

Been, has been cool, I really hope, because like I said, I've always been a person that. Just not always, but I'd say okay. Starting in high school, I was just like, I do not care what people think, like about anything really, like opinions. And I've always, like preached that to my friends and my family. I'm like, why do you care? Why do you care? Why do you care what they think? Who cares? And then I've kind of found myself like, oh my gosh, caring so much about this podcast and then I need to get over it and just share it and schedule more interviews. So I appreciate your encouragement so much with that. It's really helping.

And what do you think? And so because I think self doubt is such a huge thing people have. And actually, oh my God, I'm doing an episode on this later today and I even looked it up on. Do you know the chat bot, the chat dot?

Okay.

Oh, semi obsessed with that Right now.

It'S her new best friend.

Oh, I love it. Actually, I'm going to look it up right now because it's like, I kid this. The funniest things came out. So basically it was. I was looking up names of the inner critic. Right. Because. But a lot of people have that. I've heard a lot. Like some people name it the Itty Bitty Shitty committee, which I think is hilarious.

That's cute. I like.

There's the inner critic and there's another one they, they had on there. The chatbot said this self doubt squad.

That's funny. Yeah.

Unsupportive inner dialogue. Anyway. And then there's another one.

Antagonist within. So I'm just wondering, especially because you're not used. You don't have the muscle to practice that because you're doing all these new things. But they're probably. They're new, but maybe they're related with the same kind of discomfort muscle that you've used already. Whereas this podcast, a whole nother discomfort muscle that you had to use because you're putting yourself out there in a way. And I was just kind of curious, how did you settle that dude down? I'm saying it's Stacy.

That's why I have like two episodes. But I think all this kind of the support like through your. Through both from our call, you know, the other day with the do the thing community, I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna schedule interviews. I think what I'm gonna do is schedule interviews with people I don't know. I think that'll help me a lot. I don't know what's going on with me and I wish I had the answer because I could just knock it away. But yeah, like you're saying, I'm not used to it. I'm so uncomfortable. But I'm just trying to power through it. I am really trying. I think that's, that's really important. Powering through any self doubt or discomfort. That's kind of always what I preach. I just ignore it and go forward. So trying to do that. Yeah.

And I'm glad this is coming up. And I think this could be really fun because we can do another episode after you've either decided to not do the podcast anymore, which is like after you've done at least 10 episodes. Right. Or after you've done a hundred episodes because you decided to keep it going. So it could be kind of a fun thing to do at either one of those moments. Because either one of those is a success. Whether you've like, decided not to do it, but you did your 10 episodes. That's a do the thing success because you got to see it through, you know, to see, okay, I. I did it. This is what I got from it. This is what I learned. I've decided not to continue it. Or it's this, like, hugely, like, thing podcast that's steaming onto other things and you're at your hundredth episode, so that could be really interesting.

I really do enjoy it, so I feel like that's why I want it to go forward. That's why I'm trying to ignore this weird feeling and keep going. Because I did. Like you said, I did learn new things about Alicia when I did her episode. I felt really accomplished just even publishing the website and thinking. Thinking about what to say for my first interview. It's. I like it. I do like it. So gonna try and keep going. Yeah.

How did you even come up with your questions? Your questions were so good.

Oh, thanks. I just said I googled what to ask an entrepreneur.

And some I. Some I just knew to ask her because I've seen her experience. I've seen her life for seven years. So it was. I want to know. I want you to tell people how you scaled your business because it was cool to watch. So it was a combination of taking some from online and just knowing her life.

That is so smart. So who would be your dream person that would be listening to your podcast that you would want for them to see that there are so many things to do, so they don't need to feel stuck at having one thing? Who would that person. What would that person look like? Not physically, but, like, what would they.

All blonde.

Really. Just anyone who feels. I feel like my sister comes to mind because she just doesn't know what she wants to do. And I think about that a lot. I used to be like that. I used to have a plan. And then being sick and stuff, it was just kind of just. I was like, okay, I'm going to school in North Carolina to be a lawyer. I'll have a car, a house, a dog, and kids by like, 25. And obviously I'm so, so far from that now that it's just. I hope anyone who feels they have a super rigid plan that'll they'll just fall apart if it doesn't happen, or someone who's so lost they don't know what to do, kind of just stumbles upon it and just finds out you really don't have to do one thing. And that was cool because I was thinking, in the process of thinking about who to interview, I was thinking of my friend Chad, and he's a pilot. He was a pilot. Now he trades stocks. Now he. He also helped with Lisa's business. Jamie Hunter, also a sheriff. Like, nobody really does one thing. And I never realized that before. And I feel like a lot of people don't realize that it's more rare to do one thing than it is to do more than one thing. And I don't think that that's talked about enough. Like, only a few people are doctors all their lives, or most people hop around, too.

There's. And I think that's what's drawing me so much to this is because there's a few sides of this, right? There's the one, there's the kids. When I say kids, I mean like teens to, like young adult that are kind of thinking they have to subscribe to the one thing because that's what adults are sort of grooming them to be, right? And then there's also the people like you've seen in my community, where a lot of them are over 40, starting their lives over again to realize, like, at any point you can make a change and do something new. And I think you've kind of hit both sides with the way that your podcast is. And so I think by people hearing it and seeing it and then getting to see these connection points while being entertained in such a fun way with the way that you're able to do it, it could really open up their mind.

You're so motivating, Stacy. I love it.

Well, and it's funny because I'm thinking of even I, I don't know if you met Woodley yet, but she's doing Foodie Podcast and she's doing Foodies United. And we were going over, she was doing a first interview with restaurant and talking to them about their food experience. And she. We were doing a little conversation about it, and she was telling me the question she was going to ask the person, which was like, what menus do they have? Like, how did they come up with their menu? How did they source their ingredients? And I was telling her I have no idea. Like, I would not even consider nor think any of those questions. Like, I don't even know how she came up with them, but because that's her lens, right? Is to.

Right.

She loves food. That's what she's doing. And so people are then going to be able to hear about her. Her interviewing them from her foodie lens, right? And then your lens is, oh my God, you're living in this one way and then you have the health stuff that then rocks your world and then you're having to really tap into your strengths, what's then which then gets you to do all these things. And again, I'm going to bring up flexing the muscle a lot because that just feels, it's alive for me. It's, it is a muscle to flex, to like do new things. Right. And to go through that novice, open minded, I'm going to ask questions and just learn as I go type of thing. And I think it's a whole, it's a whole new lens that you have.

Well, that's why I love your podcast challenge because there's those humbugs that are going to say there's too many podcasts out there. But everyone has such a unique perspective on life. So you could interview, everyone could interview Alicia 45 times and get different answers and find out something new. There's always something new to find out. And even traveling, if you go to the same place five times, there's always something new to see. The landscape's always changing. There's always something to learn and there's always something to appreciate from like any situation or anything really shows food. So that's what I like about your challenges. Get more podcasts out there, see more lenses.

I'm clipping that.

I kept telling Alicia because I was, I'm gonna use your re your face for reals Alicia on my Instagram whenever I get the confidence to do that. So whenever she'd say something really cool, I was, that's the real.

Totally. Yeah, cool. And yeah.

And so I think too, if you're open to, if you're open to just a little advice on the podcast. Are you?

Yeah.

And so, yeah, like I think what could help is just picturing the person more on like who could be listening from your view. And so that's one thing because then it, it comes off of you now and you're like, okay, this is the person that's going to hear it that maybe think about. Everyone's got these environmental kind of situations where maybe they don't know anyone that's done a bunch of new stuff. Maybe they have an accountant dad and whatever, they don't have that experience. And so by listening to you and you bringing them in on that access point, they're hearing it. So that's one, that's one way that could also help. And then the other way is just by saying, okay, I don't need to publish It. I could just record and then see how it feels. That would be another way. And then the third way is just like you said, you like getting to know people and just focusing on the person you're meeting. That, to me has been the thing that's been the thing that has powered me the most is I just. What is the word? I don't, I don't love really superficial conversations. You know, I, I like crave. I crave connection and deeper connection. And the podcast lens gives me a way to get that where I like, actually get energy from it. And so anyway, that's the thing that's been. Been the biggest thing that's helped me.

Yeah, I love that. Those are definitely huge, especially focusing more on the person than yourself. I need to just schedule these interviews. I'm going to message Randy. I'm gonna harass people in your do the thing group and just get it going. I think that that's. I think that would probably be my biggest advice is just do it. I'm gonna take Nike's slogan, I guess.

So. Good. Well, what do you. What advice do you have for people on trying something new? And it doesn't have to be the podcast, but just like in general. Like, let's say they do wanna start painting or they wanna take a crochet class or they wanna learn how to make jewelry. What would be your advice on having so many things to do?

I mean, in. So there's so many things. Like one, it would be like, why not? Why not try it? Or two, it would be, of course I'm going to give you several things because that's what I have to do to. When you're trying a lot of different hobbies at once, it's easiest to just leave them out around the house because when things are in front of you, it's easier to do them. So I have just half finished projects everywhere. Because if you put it away, you're not going to get it back out kind of thing. What else? Trying new hobbies. It's so rewarding to just make something crappy. Even if it's crappy, it might turn out cool and just let it sit there until you feel like it's finished. I always say, okay, this is probably my last one. But sometimes if you think something's bad, you just have to walk away from it for a while. Just take 10ft back and you'll see, you know what perspective is off. And then there was one more. I think that's probably enough to answer your question. Yeah.

And I'm Sitting. I just wrote down the. It's so rewarding to make something crappy. Love that.

So everyone feels this pressure to make something. Oh, that was what I was going to say is in all my classes, you. You have a. A picture to go off of. You know, your reference photo. But. And you're. These do not match. You're painting a cliff and it just. The shadows are off. One is longer than the other. And it's. What you don't realize is your reference photo isn't going to be taped up next to your painting. So who. Who cares? No one's going to see that one line is too long. So just focus on. Don't put too much into the little details unless you're a photorealist. And then it matters, but not really. Even then. Just kind of know that people are only going to see your version and that is all that matters.

Yeah. So I. I love that. I want to add just more context because I've been. I've been feeling into this lately too. Is that I. By you meaning reference photo? It's like that idea that's in your. In your head or that picture that you've had for what you want to create. No one has that picture. Is that what you mean?

Yes. Yep.

Yeah.

You're. You're painting a turtle and you're looking at this picture of a turtle. No one's gonna see what the turtle you're painting looks like or if it's got a different spot. And I think that that's true in life too. It doesn't always have to be what you thought it was supposed to be. In fact, it's never gonna be that. So just make sure you like how it actually looks on your paper. Totally.

I was. I interviewed someone, actually. She's really young. She's like 19. And she created this card game. It's like a conversation starter around t sex topics, but it's called Boobler. But anyway, she was talking about the card game and having every detail perfect from the texture to the card to the color. Like all things that you could imagine. Right. And it was funny because I had ordered it before I interviewed her. And I noticed none of that. I just noticed. I just noticed the. The things on the card. And so it took her an extra. And she mentioned it. It took her an extra, like six months or eight months to have it go live because she had this. This perfect picture in her head. But no one else has that same image. And so there is something really powerful about that.

And no one else cares that much. They really don't. Honestly, that. That's. That's so funny. And that is advice I should even give to myself. No one's gonna care what you're doing. They care about themselves. As long as it entertains them. 15%, you're good. You know, I believe you should always do your best in anything but with kind of Alicia. Alicia is so bad about love her to death. But she wants things perfect and she is. And that is a good quality to have. But the pressure, take the pressure off because no one cares. Like she built this whole website a while ago and for a client and it was just. He was like, oh, I'll look at it later. And it was the late nights, the thought, the quality. And no one sees that. No one sees how much work you're doing. And it is incredible the amount she put into that. It was stunning, amazing. But it's just some people just like, whatever. So give yourself that space to be a little whatever too, because everyone else is going to do it. No one's thinking about you as much as you are.

Totally. That is so good. Okay, Tara, the time is here. So I would love to hear your number one piece of advice for the listeners on doing the thing, undoing the thing.

I'm still. I feel like I've said it all in my, let's say for doing. For doing the podcast thing, actually. How's that?

Sure.

Or do you want a hobby?

One what's coming alive first and we'll see where it goes.

I guess what's. Maybe it's just because we were just talking about it, but. And it might be relevant to me, but I guess like no one cares. That's my advice. You are the only person that matters. Your opinion matters the most because no one's ever going to care about you as much as you do. So make sure you're staying true to what you want and what you believe. How's that?

Yeah, that is really good. And then I'm thinking, while we're on this topic, I'd love to hear also for now that the self doubt thing is new. Right. What would be your piece of advice for someone to kind of move through.

That back to the Nike slogan, just do it like you said. I think one of the most. The biggest thing that's helped me is actually something you said is you can quit anytime. I don't know. I have big fear of quitting. So it's. It really helped me to know that like you, you don't have to quit. You just have to try your best. And that's. I can do that. I can try my best and just push through it. Just focus on your opinion of yourself.

And I'm glad you said that, because I think that's the other thing I like about your podcast, is because I think a lot of times people think they have to continue to do the same thing. Like, I had a company before I started my podcast and before I exited it, and I had people working there 18 years that felt like they had to stay there, and they didn't. And several of them have left since I've left and it's. And they've now are doing different things, but it's. When it doesn't feel aligned for you anymore. Whatever that thing is, whether you're playing piano or you're painting or you have a job or you have a business or you're doing a podcast, you don't need to. If you need to die on the sword, you can, like, actually stop it.

Something else. Exactly.

And sometimes when you're doing something new, then you're able to. And I think you even said this. Maybe I learned this from you, actually, now that I'm saying it out loud. But you learn about yourself, and so then it kind of gets you to the next level thing that you want to do, too.

Right. I believe that wholeheartedly in, like, being present in every situation. Because, like, even if you're staying at a, like, shitty hotel, they've probably got a cool painting somewhere or something to appreciate. There's something to learn and something to appreciate from every single situation, no matter what it is. I definitely believe that.

And so what you're saying now, too, you. I think this is. You have some serious, really good skills with, like, this muscle of appreciation, I think, and, like, of the curiosity of new things, which probably stems from just your background, right. Of having such a. Such a significant thing happen to you. And I'm just wondering for someone else, what would be a way that they could kind of, like, open themselves up to have that type of appreciation, mindset and that curiosity that you have for.

New things open themselves up. I feel like this is gonna sound so, so vain. I don't even know if I want to say it. But, like, I heard this one person at the beach one time, and they were like, there's always someone who's gonna look better than you and someone who's gonna look worse than you. And that's, like, terrible, but it kind of applies to everything else. There's always going to be someone who's better at drawing or better at painting. And there's always going to be, you know, someone worse opening yourself up. I think. I still think it still comes back to, like, seeing the little things and appreciating the little things in everything. Like, even on a walk, if you kind of like, oh, that's cool. I don't know. I just find things. I'm always finding things that I like to see. And if you're always looking for something cool or you're always appreciating, it's crazy to think that, like, when you're walking, when you're just walking down the road, just how complex and beautiful everything is, like this guy. And you're lucky enough to be seeing it all at a time where things aren't as bad as they could be. I think that that's important. Just understanding that things could always be better or they could always be worse. So I don't know. I hope that answers your question. I'm the kind of person that really like, marinates on an answer. I'm sure you've noticed from my days. To reply to you, I think that that's what it all comes down to. It's just, how can you not want to know more or want to appreciate how beautiful everything is? I don't know. It just naturally to me.

So good. I love it. Well, and it's from years of you practicing that muscle because you kind of had to. You were in a situation where you. You needed to do that.

Yeah, it's definitely like you. You can stop. Or at least. He says this a lot too, about people wanting to level up. And some people don't. And if you do, you're always gonna. You're always gonna be looking for the next thing to do or the next thing to appreciate. So as long as you're being productive, there's no way you're not gonna be appreciative or grateful for what you have, as long as you're not dwelling or sitting in negativity. That's how. That's how you just learn to be grateful.

So what would you tell them now? Okay, they're done listening to this episode. They should. What? They should go outside and do what? Or they should. They should do what?

I don't know. You know what? I just like to look at the birds. How do they fly? Do you ever wonder that? It's just. It's. Everything is so freaking complex. And you know this from running a business, what it takes to run a business. Do you know what it takes for a bird to fly? It's in it's just crazy. Like, go outside. Look at how things are functioning without little employees or you've got their little cells. I don't know. I hope that makes sense. I think I'm starting to sound like a nut job, but things are just so much cooler than they should be. Yeah.

No, I'm sitting here wanting to cry. Hearing you talk about the bird. I just think that's such a. Yeah, no, it's so. It's so cool.

It's like I just sit outside or like lizards crawling, you know, they're just doing their thing every single day. They're not worried about who's texting them or how many likes their pictures got. I think. I don't know. I think nature is definitely inspires my curiosity the most.

Yeah. Last question, because I feel like I have to ask this. So how do you get. I mean, I feel like you have a really good way of being present in the moment. Then what's kind of your way to do that? Is it just by you going out and you see something and then that kind of gets you in the present?

I think I'm. I don't know if it's like a muscle, but I've always been a very curious person, so I think that you could kind of flex that muscle. Like observing. They actually taught me this. I went to therapy for, like, something that happened to me in high school. And they're like, to deal with anxiety, look at something and kind of ground yourself by asking questions about it or noticing that wall is blue, that bug is crawling. And then you kind of start to. Or at least my brain is start to. Wow. How is that crawling? Oh, what do you think that's for? And how big is that sign? You just start to ask yourself questions, and the more you ask, the more you learn. I've got 600 tabs of the most absurd questions. How big is the billboard? Things I'll never need to know. But it just kind of takes you down a road you might not have been before. So that's a good way to be present. Ask yourself, what is the thing? How does it work? Why is it there? Just start doing that once a day. Oh, no, that's.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad you have a podcast, Satira, because I feel like I want to have you. When you listen back to this, I think you're going to come up with 10 solo episodes, even though I know you hate them.

I was nervous about this, but I was. I want her on my podcast so bad. I have to do an Episode. Like, I hate talking about myself because I like to marinate on things, but I think this went a lot better. I think I was better at talking than I claimed to be. So good for showing me that, Stacy.

Yeah, I can't wait for you to listen. Listen back to it. I really can't.

Thank you so much, Stacey.

Thanks for coming on. Oh, please share with everyone where they can find your podcast and your YouTube channel and all the good stuff.

So I still haven't 100% nailed the uploading the podcast, but right now I am throwing everything onto my YouTube. It's just so many things to do and it's at a tier of joy, so. Wow. I've actually got 32 views on my solo episode. I think that these are all from. You're spreading the word, because I certainly haven't been. I don't even think my family knows I have one. So cool.

And so if they want to be interviewed by you or they want to listen, they just can go. They can go there and then they can. Your contact info will be on there eventually.

Yeah. If you want to be interviewed. I have an email. Shockner atira mail.coms h o F F N E R A T I R A gmail dot com. That's the best way. I made a podcast email, but again, I don't remember what that is. I'm a hot mess.

I love it.

The night you inspired me, I was like, okay, I've made my YouTube channel. I made my email. I've done everything. And now I've. It's been, you know, a month, so I'm kind of out of touch. But you've inspired me. I'm getting back in touch, you know.

It shows, though, that I think that's a really important part, you know, is just to have until the momentum is going enough for you to, like, this is anything, whether it's weight loss or doing something new or doing something scary, it's like before it becomes the momentum is, like, comfortable, there has to be a little bit of a nudge, you know?

Yeah. And there also has to be, like, discipline. You know, everyone says, especially with weight loss, I like to weightlift, too. And it's like, if you wait for the motivation, you're never gonna get started. You just have to force yourself to do it. I think it's discipline more than anything, you know, and motivation helps, too. So that's why you surround yourself with the right people who want to see you win for sure.

So good. Surround yourself with the right people who want to see you win. See, that was the perfect way to end this thing.

That's real.

And I feel like I'm doing that with you. So thank you for being a part of the do the Thing journey and thanks for sharing your story. I really, really appreciate it.

Thank you for everything. Stacy, you've been such an inspiration. I love what you're doing because it's encouraged me.

So cool and do the thing.

Do the thing. Let's do the thing. Just do the thing.

There we go.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast we host. You enjoyed the show, but even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast co or email us at hello the Thing podcast.com Sam.