Episode 182 - Adam Gilbert On How He Creates Lifestyle Changes Through The Power Of Microhabits

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. You know what I love about my podcast is how I could get fascinated with a company and a brand and get to email the founder of that company and brand and ask him to be on my podcast so I could hear his whole story. And then he says yes. And that is the case with this next guest, the company that he is the founder of. My Body Tutor, has been so popular in all types of podcasts and newsletters and influencers talking about it and just the way that they're helping people with weight loss and be able to stay fit and do the things that they want in terms of their health and hold themselves accountable for the things they want to do has been extraordinary to see. And I just cannot wait to dive into his story and be able to talk to him more about how this thing even started, how he's helping all these people and just all the ripples that are coming from that. So I am welcoming Adam Gilbert to the show. Hey, Adam.

Hi, how are you? Thanks so much for having me.

Yeah, thanks for being here. And I forgot to mention, you were an expert on our do the Thing Get Fit challenge expert panel, which was really exciting to have you there as well.

Yes, it was fun.

I'd love to start off and just have you share your story for everybody.

Yeah, sure. So I started my body tutor in 2007. I was working at Ernst Young at the time, and I was always the go to guy for fitness growing up, and I was the go to guy for fitness while I was there. And it was always the same story. I'd make plans for people, I'd make nutrition and exercise plans for people, and I'd see them a week or two later, depending on client obligations and things like that. And I would always hear, I love the plan you made for me. But. And the but was I got caught up with work, life, kids, happy hour, all sorts of things, right? These people knew what to do. They'd been given a plan they liked, but they weren't following through. So that's when the light bulb went off. Of creating a company that helps people stay consistent. Because I really think that is the biggest challenge in health and fitness is staying consistent. And then just before that, just quickly. One of the reasons why I'm so passionate about health and fitness is because of my father. My father growing up, when I was in seventh grade, I witnessed him having a heart attack. So me and my sister actually drove him to the hospital. My parents were divorced. I remember him Calling my sister, and we rushed over, drove him to the hospital. A few days later, he had triple bypass surgery. So seeing him kind of hooked up to all sorts of monitors and the ICU and all that stuff was really scary. And then later that year, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. So it was a tough year for him. But seeing him deteriorate mentally and physically throughout the years until he passed away was obviously really hard. And I learned early on that health is true wealth. Right. I saw with my own eyes that he would give anything in the world to be healthy. So that's really where my passion for fitness started. And then it turned into leaving Ernst Young to start my body tutor in 2007.

Yeah. It's so amazing when you. I see it with your own eyes. Right. That happen. And then to have that as your compelling why, when you're moving forward and wanting to do this thing that feels so important. But then I'm sure as things got hard, that was something you were able to tap back into on why you were even doing it in the first place.

For sure. Yeah. I think when you have a compelling why, it becomes a purposeful, driven kind of business. It becomes a calling. I always say, my Body Tutor is my life's worth. It's way more than a business for me. So. I totally agree.

I'd love to have you share how it works. So when someone comes in, they go on your website and what does that look like for them?

Yeah. So when someone signs up, they fill out a questionnaire and then based on that questionnaire, I'd personally pair them. One of our coaches. We have a team of 75 coaches. They're all incredible, but all sorts of coaches. Right. And that's the idea because obviously everyone is different, but they get paired with one of our coaches. The coach will reach out to them and set up an initial phone consultation. On that call, they'll talk to the client about their current diet, their current exercise, if they're doing anything. But most importantly, they're going to create a game plan with a client. Right. One that they feel comfortable with. And that's so important because so often we try to start these crazy diets that we're just doing, fulfill you from the start. So we come up with a plan that the client feels comfortable with and then the real magic happens. Each day, the client will share what they ate, what they did for exercise, if it was an exercise day in our easy to use mobile app or website, and then the following day and every day after, their very own coach Is writing back with personalized feedback, suggestions, and encouragement. So the fact they're in communication with their clients every single day, guiding them, supporting them, coaching them, holding them accountable is the key. Right. Because daily interaction is where the magic happens as we know it's. Knowing what to do is one thing, but actually doing it day in and day out and following through, that's the key.

Yeah. And the thing that I noticed that I think is really remarkable and what you guys do is that idea of celebration, celebrating the things that they're doing. Right. Because I think it's so many times, especially in this kind of fit culture, it's so easy to shame yourself on the things that you're not doing. And I'm just kind of curious where that came from. How did you even come up with that idea? And then how is that working?

Yeah. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I mean, I think it's really important. I mean, when you're embarking on any journey of change, you're obviously acknowledging that things aren't working. But I think sometimes if you focus too much on everything that isn't working, that's kind of. It's a downer. Right. And it's important to be grateful. It's important to kind of accept where you are, but also expect more of yourself. And I just think also starting where the client is and meeting them where they're at versus saying everything you're doing is wrong is just going to lead to compliance. Right. Just a much higher likelihood of compliance versus everything you're doing is wrong. Let's scratch everything and start here. Way more effective to say, hey, what are you doing? What do you like doing? And try to build on that.

When you started, did you want to hire coaches or were you doing it yourself? I'm just curious how that evolved.

Yeah. So starting in February 2007, and for a while, I was the only coach. My dream was to always kind of build a business that served a lot of people. And I quickly realized that I was running out of time, I was running out of capacity in my day. So, yes, the plan was to eventually bring on coaches just because it's so fun and rewarding to do what we do very quickly. You realize there's only so many hours in the day, and it's like, all right, if I can hire people that are incredible and committed and dedicated and passionate, we can serve more people.

Yeah. I think it's incredible when you're able to duplicate yourself so then you're able to help more people. I'm just curious so with the coaches, 75 coaches. Oh, my gosh. So incredible. How does that work in terms of is there a certification process with mybody tutor or what kind of thing do they go through?

Yeah. So all of our coaches are certified. We're not one of those companies where someone becomes a success story, and then they're suddenly an expert at helping other people lose weight. I'm very proud of all of our coaches are certified. They come to us with extensive experience. Thankfully, we're getting, like, three to five applicants per week of people who want to work with us. So we're able to be extremely picky in who we hire. And I know we're only as good as our coaches. So they go through a rigorous hiring process, kind of. We test them on all sorts of things because it's interesting. I mean, in this industry, there's a lot of people that kind of know what's good for you, what's not good for you. But my thesis since day one has always been, for the most part, we know what is good for us. We know what's not good for us. Right. The real question is, why can't we do it? So we had all sorts of applicants, and it's super interesting to see people who have all sorts of schooling, all sorts of degrees, yet they have zero idea about behavior modification and behavior change. And that's ultimately, the business we're in, is helping people change their relationship with food, helping people change their behavior. Because if the only thing we're doing for our clients is simply just eat this, don't eat that, that's certainly important, but that's only the tip of the surface.

Yeah, I'd love to kind of go here, if you don't mind, when you talk about behavior modification and making a change. So if someone's like, okay, I'm ready, Adam. I'm ready to make a change, what would be their first step?

Well, I think the first step is. I mean, to me.

The challenge we solve is consistency, right? It's very easy to start all kinds of things, and it's very hard to actually follow through. And to me, it's like, first, let's understand why consistency is so hard. And maybe that's why you haven't been able to change your behavior. Right? So to me, it really comes down to three things. Right. Number one, the diets we try to follow are not sustainable to begin with. Right? So this might sound like common sense, but it's not common practice, because so often we start these crazy diets, and we can't Follow through and then we feel bad. But, like, you can't expect yourself to never eat a carbohydrate again or only eat breakthroughs for the rest of your life or all these crazy diets out there, right? So the first and foremost thing is make sure the plan you're following is actually sustainable to begin with. Make sure it's catered and customized to you, right? And that's paramount to what we do is creating personalized plans for clients. So that's number one. Number two is really making sure the plan you're doing is focusing on your mindset, your psychology, your habits. We call it mph, right? M for mindset, B for psychology, nature habits. Because most people are only going what I call food diet, right? And a food diet is where the only thing that's changing is the food you're eating. But if the only thing changing is the food you're eating, you're not going to change for the long term. So there has to be a focus on your mindset, your psychology, your habits, your relationship with food. Because ultimately, that takes willpower out of the equation, right? As you know, typically we start out day one, we're raring to go, by day 30, we're hanging up in the skin of our teeth, right? So when you actually change your relationship with food, you change your mindset, psychology, and habits. It really takes willpower out of the equation, makes it easier and easier as time goes on. And then last but not least is accountability. Right? Without accountability, it's too easy to make excuses. It's too easy to rationalize to ourselves during, after a long day. And that's why we offer on a daily basis. So that was a really long answer to your question of what does it take for behavior modification? So to me, though, the first step is understanding why you haven't been able to change your relationship with food or change your behavior consistently. Right? And then it comes down to let's figure out what your objectives are and then work backwards.

There's so much in there that I love, but the thing that's screaming at me right now is the why haven't you been able to make the changes that you want with food? How do you help people even tap into that?

Yeah, I mean, I really think comes down to first off is having a plan that is truly catered and customized to the client. Because so many plans, it's like, you can never eat these foods or it's an eat this, don't eat that approach. So the first thing is we talk about one of the early Things we talk about is what are your non negotiables? Right. So for me, I love pizza with my kids. I love ice cream, I love hamburgers. Obviously I don't eat it all day, every day, but those foods are in my plan and we fit them in. Right. So instead of saying, here's what you absolutely can't eat, let's talk about your non negotiable. What are you unwilling to give up and start from there? Let's talk about your relationship with food. How is food serving you? How are you using food? And then of course, let's talk about accountability. Now we can implement it for you on a daily basis.

I love that idea of the non negotiable. I feel like that's very new language and I think that's really cool because I think we can burn so much energy on wanting that thing that we can't give up. And so then you're exhausted by the time you see the food and then you eat it, but you're then disappointed in yourself for eating it. But if you already say ahead of time and you work it into your plan that you can eat it, it almost releases all that energy totally.

It's like there was the white polar bear. It's like if someone says, don't think about a white polar bear or you're going to think about as a white polar bear. Right. Your mind backfires and obsesses on something. Right. So telling someone they can't eat X, Y or Z is the fastest way to make them obsess over it and then ultimately give in and feel bad about it.

Right.

There's no guilt in my body tutor. We never want our clients to feel guilty. There's no reason to feel guilty when it comes to food. It's just food. It's not your best friend, it's not your worst enemy. It's just food. And one of my favorite things is he hearing from people all the time is how they were able to enjoy their favorite food with their friends or family for a special occasion or whatever it might be. And they didn't feel any guilt whatsoever. And there's so much we moralize food, especially in our diet culture. And it's terrible because there's no reason to feel guilty.

Yeah. When you're talking, it's also making me think just how much power, the access we have to all of these things, social media and people saying certain diets and how easy it is to get distracted on the next new thing. And I think what you're saying is kind of Cut out the noise and really figure out what is good for you.

Yes. I call them like tactic chasers or the shiny new fad diet syndrome. It's so easy to kind of just obsess and get so consumed by what's new. But nothing beats the tried and true. And the tried and true is having a plan that is actually sustainable and catered to you, that takes into account your life, really focuses on your mindset, your psychology and habits, and ideally has accountability on a daily basis to put it all together to help you implement everything.

I'm curious, so with the mph, do you do any kind of things around miles per hour? Cause I feel like that could be really fun.

Yeah, no, but I'm a huge fan of acronyms. So for a while it was like we focus on mindset, habits, psychology, mph. I just think acronyms are really helpful in helping people learn. I'm a teacher of heart and so we haven't tied it in yet, but there is definitely ways to do that in terms of speed and all that, for sure.

I'm sure you'll get a long voice note for me after this because my mind goes crazy after with marketing ideas.

I love it. Share away and do the thing.

As an acronym, it's I'm game. So I love acronyms as well.

So I'd love to talk about that a little bit more because mindset is obviously, I mean.

So important because it's so easy to get derailed once you think that you're not doing something that you want to do and you're not following through. So how do you help people with mindset or how do you even suggest them be able to reframe that old language?

Yeah. And just to your point, I mean, I think at least 80% of success is mindset. Right. Especially when it comes to our fitness. Again, for the most part, we know what's good for us. We know it's not good for us. Right. The real question is why can't we do it? And so much of that is what's going on between our ears. Right. So I think when it comes to mindset, it's, let's talk about what are your mental roadblocks, Right? So for some people, it's all or nothing thinking. For some people it's self sabotage. For some people it's fear of failure. For some people it's fear of success, which is surprising, very common. For some people it's, you can even say like emotional eating, stress eating, mindless eating. Those are all things that are going on in Our head. Right. Versus. And just to make sure people understand. I think they do. But a tactical challenge, right? To me, a tactical challenge is I have a dinner coming up or my birthday is coming up or what's the holidays. Those are tactical things. You can plan for them, you know, and there's things you can do. Whereas mindsets, you're with yourself all day long. Right. So until you change those. So it's like the saying, wherever you go, there you are. Right. And until you change that mindset, that soundtrack, I always equate it to, like, you can have the devil on your shoulder saying, you're already indulged. Start fresh tomorrow or start fresh Monday, or what's the point? I'm just going to give up anyway. Or you're just going to gain the weight back versus having the Rocky soundtrack in your ears. Right. Wouldn't you rather have the Rocky soundtrack?

Yeah, I love that. The Rocky soundtrack, because that's true. The more you can kind of channel into that fire and the power, then the noise can go away.

Yes. We know we've done a good job with our clients when they say Adam and their coach. So, like, Adam, your voice and my coach's voice have now replaced my inner voice. Right. And that's the idea, because we all have an inner voice that is our worst friend. Right. They're negative thoughts always reminding us of how we messed up. When you replace that with a positive voice, then you've changed your mindset. So to your question of how do you change it, first thing is, let's talk about what is getting in the way. Right. What are your limiting beliefs? What. All sorts of things. Right?

Yeah. So when you identify their limiting beliefs, how are you getting them to move through those?

Well, it depends what the limiting belief is. But typically, we'll talk about how the limiting belief is serving them. Right. So I believe every behavior we do, positive or negative, is serving us in some way. So even if I work with clients all the time who say they want to lose weight, but there's also a part of them that doesn't want to lose weight because they're using their weight as a security blanket. Right. It could be in their head. They're thinking, once I lose the weight, then I actually have to do what I keep saying I'm gonna do. And then it's like, if they lose the weight, what's their excuse? What's their blanket? Right. So uncovering those things is so important to the work we do.

Yeah. Cause you don't even know it on a conscious Level, it's still unconscious, but until you do the work, that's when it starts to come out and you're able to see really what's holding you back.

Totally, totally.

What do you think would help someone just stop making the excuses that they've been making for themselves?

Well, besides accountability and having a coach, I mean, obviously I'm biased, but I really believe a coach helps you get out of your own head. A coach helps you see your blind spots and identify and work through these limiting beliefs and things like that. But I think it's understanding how your beliefs are serving you, challenging them, and then working on ways to work through them. So, for example, someone might say a common thing is, I feel like I'm never going to be an enjoyment of favorite food, so what's the point? So it's like, all right, in their head. It's like, I'm going to have to eat in their head. I'm going to have to eat lettuce all day long. I'm never going to be able to enjoy my favorite food, so what's the point of even starting, right? So that's the story, that's the narrative. They come up within their head, it protects them from taking action, which, as we know, is the hardest thing to do. It's so much easier to remain where you are. Inertia is very powerful. So let me challenge that. It's like, well, is that really true? Are you never going to be able to enjoy your favorite foods? Right? And we challenge that. And it's like, no, of course not. You absolutely can enjoy your favorite foods. Or it could be I'm going to have to exercise for hours a day to lose weight. Is that really true? No, of course not. We challenge that and then we talk about actually ways where you actually can enjoy your favorite foods or you don't have to exercise even at all. Because as we know, 80% of weight loss is diet. So it's all about challenging the assumptions and then figuring out ways where we can work through them and say, hey, how will your life be better when we reach your goal, not worse off? Because for so many of these people, ultimately my definition of self sabotage is when we fear the very thing we say we want to accomplish, right? So for someone who thinks that they're never going to be able to eat their favorite foods or they're going to have to work out for hours a day or whatever it might be in their mind, they think if they lose weight, life is going to be worse off, not better off, right? We have to identify that. Right. And there's millions of examples. You know, I like being the person who always says yes. I like being the fun friend or I want to enjoy my favorite food, so I don't want to exercise for hours a day or Recently, a client told me she's scared of if she loses weight, she's going to lose her butt, and she likes having a big butt. We have all sorts of reasons why if we lose weight, life is going to be worse off, not better off. Challenge those, and then we say, hey, how will life actually be better off?

I had something where I had gained weight after I went to this trip to Europe, and it was so hard to get the weight off. And I realized what it was. It was by me eating, I was controlling that I could gain weight. So things were in an uncontrolled state. Right then I had a few things spinning outside my personal life. And just by me eating, I knew that I could gain weight. And that just felt. I mean, it wasn't conscious, it was unconscious. I was able to bring it up. But it's just interesting. You don't even know what's coming up until you are able to investigate it.

I see this a lot with people who. Their parents, of course, well intended. But throughout their childhood, the parents were always telling their kids, you should watch what you eat, you should lose weight. And a lot of people, when they're adults and they're fully in control of their own lives, they actually gain a lot of weight because it is them exerting their independence. Right. Of no one can control what I eat. You're not the food police, and I'm gonna eat whatever I want.

Yeah, that's a really good point. That's powerful. Let's start off. Let's talk about habits specifically. So how do you think someone helps create the habits? They want to be able to either lose weight or get fit.

So, I mean, I guess it depends on where you feel like your habits are not serving you. I think it's sometimes the best way to create a new habit is to replace another one. So, for example, it could be after your kids are in bed or at the end of a long day, you plop on the couch, you grab some food. That habit is serving you in some way. Right? It's serving you in that. It's enabling you to relax, it's enabling you to turn off. But let's say you're eating a bowl of ice cream every night or whatever it might be. That's obviously not serving you. If your goal is to lose weight or whatever, if you're doing that on a daily basis. So then it's like, well, what can we do to replace that habit? Right? And I think it's much easier to replace a behavior or habit than quit one. So for me, it'd be like, instead of giving up TV altogether, because I think that's too many changes. It would be like, well, what can we eat instead of the ice cream? And sure, sitting on the couch and watching TV might be a trigger to get ice cream. I still think it's a lot easier to eat something else versus not watching TV at all.

I love the way you worded that, and I want the listeners to hear that. It's the what can we. It's such a great form of language because a lot of times when we're seeing something we don't want to do, we're like, oh, I don't want to give that up. But instead it's like, oh, what can we do instead? And it's such an empowering way to say it, to open your mind up, to be able to see what really is there and then what you can do differently.

Yeah. No one likes to feel like their behaviors are being restricted. What's known as reactance happens. So for some people with kids especially, it's like, you can't do X, it's going to make them want to do that even more. Right. So instead of you can't do X, let's talk about what we can do. Let's focus on all the positives, all that we can do. It's a whole different world when you focus on what you can do versus what you can't do.

All right, we gotta talk about accountability, because I feel like my body tutor has mastered the art of accountability, and there's so many people that whatever it is, losing weight. I mean, right now I'm doing start a podcast challenge. It's whatever that thing is that you want to do, you want to do it so bad. And then time gets in the way, money gets in the way.

TV gets in the way. Whatever it is, so many things get in the way. Or work gets in the way, whatever it is. And it's just so easy to just not follow through. And then once you were not following through, it's really easy to just give up. And so I'd love to just explore this accountability topic and what you could provide for people on there as well.

Yeah. So, you know, when I first started offering accountability in 2007, we've been offering the same thing since day one, no one was really offering it because it's just interesting to see how things have evolved in the online space. Everyone thought a lack of knowledge was the real issue. Right. So they were selling knowledge. I always felt that we knew what to do, we just weren't doing it. And we're all really good at making promises to other people and often keeping them, but when it comes to ourselves, we are the worst, right? We're always breaking our promises to ourselves. And the problem is when you break a promise to yourself, it erodes your confidence, it erodes your good feelings, right? It's like if you say you're gonna do something to yourself and there's a part of you that knows you're not gonna do it, that feels terrible. So I realized early on that when you're accountable to someone else, when someone else is checking on you who has a vested interest in your success, it makes all the difference. External accountability is super powerful. Just because, again, we hate not showing up for other people, but for ourselves, we can easily blow ourselves up.

And what would be just some ways that people can really hold themselves accountable, whether they're working with mybody tutor or just on their own. What do you think are some good ways for them to be able to do it?

Yeah, I think the first step, if you don't want to hire a coach, is at the very least, start tracking. Right? Start tracking how you spend your time. Start tracking what you eat. Start tracking. The more you measure, the more you can manage. And the more you can manage, the more you'll improve. So at the very least, get honest with yourself. Whether it's starting a podcast or starting a weight loss journey, you want to just put everything out there for you yourself to see, because then there is no hiding. It's one thing to say to tell yourself things, but when you write it down, it definitely brings it to light.

I love the way you've said that because I think so many people talk about tracking your food and it's so easy to just be like, I don't want that rigidity. It's too rigid. But the more you can measure, the more you can manage. I mean, when you say it like that, it just feels like that makes sense on why that's why you want to do it.

Yes. And to be clear, you don't have to use my fitness pal and obsess over calories and macros and things like that. You could just write down what you ate. Just at the very least, own up to everything you're eating, everything you're doing throughout the day in terms of time, like, if you're trying to start a podcast or whatever it might be. Just get it all out there, though.

Yeah. And what else do you think would be good for people on the accountability front?

So, I mean, engaging a friend is always great. That could work. I mean, I do believe, though, that there's a very clear and big difference between kind of pure accountability versus pro accountability. The example I always use is my mom. She's a former high school English teacher. She used to tutor for the sats many years ago when it was time for me to take the SATs, she wanted to help me, but because she's my mom, I didn't take it seriously at all. Right. And it's very hard to tell someone you love or someone you're very close with the hard truths they might need to hear. Tell them what they need to hear instead of what they necessarily want to hear. But certainly you can try having a friend or partner, whatever it might be, try with people you know, and see how that works, too.

I love what you said with the hard truths. Telling someone what they need to hear versus what they want to hear, because I think that's such a hard job to do. How do you guys do that? How does that work?

Well, as the old saying goes, it's like, what's not what you say, it's how you say it. And I think all of our clients know at times we provide tough love, but it might be tough to hear, but it's all said with love. And I think when someone knows and feels that someone really cares for them, the message resonates a lot. Right. I remember in basketball, I played forest basketball. My coach always used to say, the day I stopped yelling you is the day you should be concerned. Right. And of course, we don't yell or shame our clients. But the point is, when you have someone who really cares about your success and seeing you progress, that feels good. And when you feel that you want to run through a brick wall for them. So it really is how you say it. And I think it's also a level of trust. Right. When you understand that this person is there for you and they're there to help you get to where you want to be and help you navigate through all the challenges you're going to face on any kind of worthwhile journey, it makes it a lot easier to take that in.

And what would you say to the person that's tried a bunch of different things, and they're just constantly failing and they're Thinking of giving up? How would you help that person?

Yeah. So I think it's important to feel hopeful on any journey you embark on. And I would bet. And I mean, I hear this all the time from people who kind of tried things, and on some level, they didn't really feel hopeful. Right. And the good thing is hope has a formula, Right? And the formula is it's threefold. Number one is having a clear and defined objective. Right? So we all have clear and defined objectives when we sign up for something we've tried a program, et cetera. Number two, though, is having a pathway, right. How am I going to get from where I am to where I want to be? So that's really important, that whatever you're doing or whatever you did had a clear pathway. And number three is the most important is you believing you can follow the pathway. Right. And so often we start these diets, these programs, whatever it might be, whatever facet of life it is, and consciously or subconsciously, we know we can't stick with it. Right. And one of the things we do for our clients is making sure our clients feel like they can absolutely stick to the plan no matter what. Right. We're making sure it's realistic, it's catered to them, it's customized to them, because if they don't feel like they can, then they're doomed for failure because they're not feeling hopeful. Right. And if you're not feeling hopeful, then you're not going to act. And if you're not acting consistently, then you're not going to feel motivated. And it just spurs this whole kind of negative feedback loop, this whole vicious cycle. So to answer your question, you want to make sure you're feeling hopeful, because if you feel hope, then you believe you can actually follow through. And that's the key. And of course, not to mention, we're also supporting and guiding, coaching and holding you accountable every single day to make sure if there's anything that gets in the way, we can help you work through it.

Yeah, I love that hopeful strategy. Is that something you came up with? I'm just curious. Oh, my gosh. I've never heard of that before. That is so cool.

Thanks.

I feel like that could be applied to everything.

Totally, totally. Whether it's recording a podcast, you have to feel the most important part about that. That formula is believing you can actually follow the plan.

Yeah.

You have to have an objective. Of course you have to have a plan, but you have to believe you can follow the plan. Right. So instead of, let's Say someone for wanting to do a podcast, it's like, all right, record with seven people a week. That's pretty aggressive, right? That's an ambitious goal. What if you said, I want to record one podcast a week? That's pretty doable, right? I think people might say, all right, I can. I can do that. And that's the idea. You want to feel like you can absolutely do it.

So you're bringing up another point that I'm curious what you think, and I'm thinking about the podcast thing, but I think it applies to weight, too. Is one of the things that comes up anytime I do a challenge is people will feel behind, right? And they're like. Like, oh, I don't know if I can get started because I feel so behind. And I always encourage them, you can start at any point. The way we do the dare challenges. You can start on day one or start on day 15, and it's all the same, pretty much. So then you can always start. I want to show them that you can always start. You don't need to do that. But anyway, I was just curious, how do you approach that feeling for the person where they just feel so behind that they can't even catch up to themselves?

Yeah, I mean, I would say always start small. I think we let this idea of having to be perfect, having to do everything at once, having to do all at once, get in the way of action. And I think we have to accept that we're never going to be perfect. We might always feel like we're behind, but if that's always going to be a reason for not starting, we're never going to start. So it's kind of ultimately being comfortable with being less than perfect. Right. So many of our clients have these all or nothing mentalities, this perfectionist mindset, and one of the things we help them do is overcome that. And the biggest thing, though, is getting comfortable sticking with it while being less than perfect. Because so many people, I don't even like to use the word dieters, but they're amazing dieters when what I have to say, It's Sunday and 70, right? Life is perfect. Their kids slept, work is good, their boss is being great, but life is never perfect. There's always things going on, and there's always things that are going to challenge us. So the key is getting comfortable, sticking with it, whatever the challenge is, while being less than perfect, while circumstances are less than ideal.

Okay, so now this is screaming Abby, I'll have to talk about this. Something that used to happen to Me is I used to be like 70 pounds overweight. And so when I gained the 15 pounds, it was hard because I wanted to make sure that I lost it quickly so then I could just get back on track with being fit and healthy and all that stuff. And so something I used to do, I haven't done this recently, but I'd go to Starbucks and I'd get the chai tea latte and the muffin. And then that was kind of like my gateway drug to McDonald's and all the other things. And actually did a comedy routine on this with Cocoa Puffs. Cause that was my recent obsession. But I'm just curious, how do you help that person where they feel like once they've done something bad, then they may as well just throw it all to the wind, essentially?

Yeah. I mean, that's a lot of the work we do. But so, I mean, there's a few things off the bat, and obviously this is kind of the tip of the iceberg. But number one is when you feel that coming on, right. When you feel yourself tempted to go to Starbucks. Right. There's a few moments I always equate it to when you're going down a really steep water slide. Super fun, by the way. But when you're going down the steep water slide at the very top, there's a few moments where you can actually turn around and get off. Right? And we know we're going up that slide. You know, usually if the walk up a lot of stairs, we know that's happening. So whether it's 10 minutes before, five minutes before, it's never instant, Right. There's a. At the very least, there's a few minutes before we know we're kind of walking up towards that slippery slide that we don't want to go down. So the first thing is try to recognize that. Understand what it is you need that moment. Right? It's never about the food. It's about what the food allows us to avoid. So understand what's going on. Are you really stressed? Are you overwhelmed? Are you frustrated? Are you sad? That's the first step, right? Just recognizing when you feel that kind of bubbling up, when you feel like that's coming on. The second thing is it's going to happen because you're not a robot. You're a human. We're all humans. Is when you go down that slide, as we all do, even though we might not want to, even though we know what's coming on.

Try to avoid the judgment that comes with it, right? So let's Say you ate Cocoa Puffs. I would say you just ate Cocoa Puffs. Right. You didn't kill anyone. You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just ate Cocoa Puffs. And if we can get away with the judgment that comes with eating the Cocoa Puffs and just letting the Cocoa Puffs be the Cocoa Puffs, it's just food. It's not a big deal. You just ate the Cocoa Puffs. Let's move on. And obviously that takes time and practice and that's part of the work we do. But allowing yourself the self compassion to forgive yourself, and you don't even need to forgive yourself, but to move on from that is so powerful.

I'd love to hear your number one piece of advice for the listeners on doing the thing.

So today is my mom's birthday. April 25th. Am I allowed to say the date?

Yep.

Okay. My mom's birthday. One of the most impactful pieces of advice she's ever shared with me is that the monster is never as scary as it seems. Right. So when I was in elementary school, I vividly remember being terrified of middle school. It's such a big building. How am I going to survive? It's so big. When I was in middle school, I was terrified of going to high school. High school, I was terrified of going to college. The monster is never as scary as it seems. And what I've learned is the anticipation of an event or whatever the thing is, is almost always worse than the actual thing. Right. The anticipation is worse than the actual thing. And reminding myself that the monster is never as scary as it seems has been kind of one of my life's mantras in that it just helps me take the small step and it reminds me that I will be okay. And I have so much evidence in my life that whenever I thought there were these big scary monsters, they weren't nearly as scary as I thought.

It's so good. It makes me think of that uncertainty right when you're doing something new. And it almost helps validate that because it's not going to be as big as you think it's going to be.

Exactly. Exactly.

I'd love to hear if there's anything coming alive for you right now after our conversation today.

Everything. I mean, this stuff lights me up. Right. I could talk about this stuff all day long. I'm just so passionate about this work because I really believe and know. I mean, we've been at this since 2007, which is kind of crazy that when you focus on your health and fitness, it truly and literally impacts every aspect of your life. So to me, being able to impact someone's life and I hear all day long just how it's made them so much happier and how they have the confidence to do X now and Y now and Z, that to me is the best thing ever. So everything's coming alive. I mean, again, I could talk about this all day long, but to me, investing in your health and fitness, investing in your personal well being is. I don't think there's a better investment.

I'd love you to share with everyone how they can learn about my body, tutor and sign up and all that good stuff if they're interested.

Yeah, thanks. So the best way would be to go to mybodytutor.com but you can always email us, you can find us on the socials, on Instagram, on Twitter, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, everything. So I pride myself on being available. So if you have any questions, feel free to reach out. You can reach me at Adam at mybodytutor. Com and yeah, if you have any questions at all, reach out. I'm always here to help.

Thanks so much for coming on, Adam. This was amazing getting a chance to talk to you.

Thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

And for the listeners, do the thing, don't wait for opportunity, create it.