Episode 187 - Mike Hogan: This Find Your Voice Champion Reveals His Journey To Freeing Your Mind

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. All right, guys. Well, the time has come again where another do the Thing challenge has come to an end. And I have our next guest who was a award winner of the challenge. He was a team player award, which is unbelievable to be able to see someone in this community that is putting towards the effort of not only the growth for himself, but also helping the other people in the community grow as well and really just adding to that safe space where people really feel like they can be vulnerable and speak to who they are and then also get some insight into other people and what they want too. And so it's been just amazing to have him in the community. And this is his second challenge and it's just been wonderful to get to see his engagement in the group and what he's been able to get out of it. And so I asked for him to come on again. He has been on before and we had an amazing episode about the last challenge. And for this one it's been a totally different kind of situation where this one was only 17 days. It was a dare a day. And it was all about finding your voice, but then also getting an opportunity to connect with others and be able to stretch your comfort muscle a little bit in asking deep questions to other people. So I am so excited to welcome Mike Hogan to the show. Hi, Mike.

Hi, Stacy. We meet again.

We meet again, again and again. I love that about you. I love that you just say yes.

I had a great conversation with a friend last night and by the way, I'm evangelizing, so I centered the podcast so maybe she'll be tuning in. Kind of made a joke about that movie. Jim Carrey movie. Yes, man.

Uh huh.

Yeah, I seem to kind of adopted that recently.

I think it's great because there's going to be times that you're going to really get to in line with what you want and then you might say no more. But then there's times when you just in this curious place of discovering who you are and what you want and where you want to go and then just saying yes just keeps opening you up to new things, which I see you really living that right now.

It's an energy. And I said I had a great conversation, had another great conversation. I just made the deadline to get here and just had a great conversation about things and the person was really interested in what was going on in my life and then I was able to translate things to her life and it just.

It just is Starting to, to come together. Starting to come together.

Well, I'd love to talk about the do the thing, find your voice challenge. So we just went through this journey together, 17 days. It was a dare a day. Some deep questions were asked and some fun questions like what kind of car are you and what have you done recently that you're proud of? I would love to hear just what your thoughts were about the challenge and maybe what you learned from it as well.

Sure. It was definitely different. I mean we go through our lives comparing things. So the first challenge compared to this, a lot more condensed and I, I didn't participate in, in the first one, my initial thoughts were I wasn't really sure what to expect. But then I quickly reminded myself kind of you got to remove that expectations and then that leaves you open minded. So it was for me personally, I wanted to be thoughtful about the dares and about the questions you and I talked early on. Well, I've gotten used to my own voice so got past that first little bump in the road or whatever. So it's not a big deal. I used to laugh at myself leaving voicemail greetings on the recordings and stuff, but got got past that. But I always wanted to give it a little thought and maybe a couple of times I tried not to. In other words, just be a little bit more spontaneous. So I battled with timing of when to do the recordings, when to do the thought again, tried not to overthink it and then made a conscious effort to try and go out and include something beyond myself. It was easy for me because I have people I hanging out with all the time so I would know I'm going to see Nicole on such and such a day. I'm going to ask her the next dare question that's going to come up. Right. So I could plan on that and then in group settings and my yoga class. But the pace of it for me was tough because you're doing it for yourself, but then you want to see what everybody else is doing and that's it.

The hard part was, I know, seeing.

All the content, being in your seat.

So to be part of it, and I'll admit I had to be selective because you only have so much bandwidth, right. So you contribute when you can. So there were a few things, I won't call it a regret, but I never got to the stranger piece. Just asking somebody, to me that kind of takes planning, especially somebody that works from home. Hey, I'm going to wait until I go to the grocery store tonight to ask the person in the aisle. So that didn't happen. So maybe at some point it will. But two things for me, the people that I do know, family, friends, people I do yoga with, it was a treat to see their expression on their faces when I'm asking these questions. And then the ones that did open up to me, it was really a reaffirmation. Yeah, I. I kind of had an idea that that was going to be their answer. Right. I know the people in my circle pretty well, which was. Made me happy. The bigger thing of what I've been thinking about, and I haven't sat down and done notes or anything like that, is it taught me or it enhanced in me. I feel the ability to listen to a thread. So. So I'm hearing over the last month, and maybe we all get into this, but in the last month I've just been hearing some common things, not just with do the thing, but connecting it outside of that. And I'm hearing common threads in that. I tell a friend about what I'm doing and then they're very supportive. Oh, you should definitely do that. I could see that. Stuff like that. And you're like, okay, that's kind of like a. A little beta test. Right. You're kind of verifying things. So it's going to sound mystical, but if you listen to the universe, hopefully a common thread is going to materialize. I hear a little something in yoga class, somebody would say something in a business meeting, we do the group thing. And then I'd have a great conversation with a friend. And it's just starting to. I know I'm not getting a lot of definition, but it enhanced in me, I think, the ability to just listen. Maybe you're listening to nothing. You're listening to your own thoughts and making the connections. I was always one of those guys way back when you do the personality test, you do the. And my strength was listening. I'm like, oh, great. How am I going to make money listening? But it's. It's done me well so far, but I feel like there's a little extra something in there now.

Yeah, I think what you're speaking to is. So the name of the challenge was find your voice. And honestly, I was struggling with the name the whole time because I'm like, it's not really finding your voice. It's freeing your mind. But I just couldn't. I couldn't articulated, I don't think until we did that celebration with everyone. And it's like getting out, like what you said, it's getting out all Those thoughts in your head and then putting them out of your head, either writing them down or putting them in a recorder and then whether or not someone shares them or not being able to just put it out there and then you're able to, like you said, see things. I mean, I call them messages from the universe, which is basically now that you almost are freed from your mind. You get to see what you want a little bit more clearly than maybe before.

The arena up here is only so big, right. So once you get it out, however you get it out, then it leaves space for new ideas and new thoughts and things like that. And I think you're spot on. Yeah. And the encouragement from the group. I mean, I loved being able to contribute, but the comments that I got is just affirmation. Like you said in the intro, it's a comfortable, safe space, which is the antithesis of what social media is in some ways nowadays. I could see other people coming out of their comfort zones to make a comment, to make an observation. And kudos to the newly crowned champion, Jeremy. He moved me with a lot of the things that he said. So long. Happy to pass the crown. I have full intentions of doing what I can to see if I can get it back. But anyway.

That'S the cool aspect of the group, is that you get all the feedback and you can distill it. Data points you in a direction. Like the universe is whispering. But data could point you in a direction too.

Yeah. And I want to just give some context to the listeners on what this challenge was. I gave a little bit, but with Mike speaking to. So number one, it's only 17 days. You can only do a minute a day because it's pretty much a dare a day. Things like what's something you've done recently that you're proud of, what's a legacy you want to leave in the world? So you can do it as little as a minute a day. But the time aspect is because the community got so engaged and just really all loved sharing their voice recordings, their video, their posts and then everyone's. Then it's building up that momentum. But the give back, like he's saying, is so incredible because you're then feeling like you're part of this shared experience in such a beautiful way. And so anyway, yeah, I definitely, I love how you. I want to hear it again. I'm so excited to clip what you said about the freeing your mind because that's been something I've been having a hard time like, you know, I've been saying I'm having a hard time saying what this is. I was doing the start a podcast challenge and then I paused it because I could tell people didn't get where I was at yet. And so that's where the find your voice challenge started. And now the start a book challenge is a continuation. I think most people got it now after find your voice, but the people that didn't will definitely get it after Start a book and then they'll be ready to. Whether or not they want to publish a podcast is different than just starting it and at least getting to see what it's going to be about.

Yeah, I mean, you've got the way you see things unfolding. I was in that nebulous zone before you made the shift to do the find the voice first, and it resonated with me. So I saw the progression or the potential progression there. Your hook originally, maybe that's a bad term back in the fall was more involved with relationships and dating and. But I think you attracted a great core group between that and the summer event that now people are getting it a little bit more. It all goes back to giving yourself confidence and space and courage and stop just saying, well, I can't. I don't want to oversimplify it, but I see the progression. You stop me. I don't want to turn this into a commercial.

I love it.

For a long time. I said, oh, yes. So what's the. Oh yeah, I kidded you about putting a calendar out and sure as heck a calendar went out. The book is next. So I'm like, well, I got nothing. I got nothing. But then you said a couple of things and some of the guests, the expert panel said a couple of things. It's about the process, not the end result. The end result may just be you meet a few new friends and you have some. Some good stories to tell. And that may be enough, right? I mean, that may be good enough, but I put it out into the universe with the person I just talked to about a book. So I haven't done my pledge card yet, but I think you'll see my name pop up once in a while.

So that's great. I'm glad. And I just to give more context too. Cause I didn't mention this part to the listeners is. So the other thing I try to do with the challenges is give certain levels of comfort zone because there's one circle where it's record yourself for these dares, then there's another circle a little bit outside of your comfort zone. Asking your friend the question, which is what Mike was talking about, where he was asking people the questions that were the dares. And then there's another circle, which is asking someone in a shared experience. And I had showed examples of how I did it in an Uber and then a restaurant and a bartender. And then also then the next circle, which is going in public. And you'll be seeing my videos, how I did that on YouTube at some point in the near future. But that was what I was also encouraging them to do because I always. Since it is a singles community, I do want there to be a dating component. And whether or not they meet the person through these things or just really get comfortable talking to people and getting to feel what that feels like about stretching their comfort zone, then I think that's something that is really powerful and that can help as you're looking for something. And you mentioned also it started with the dating, and that's what I realized. I started with the dating because that was what. It was exciting to me. But then I realized people still were wanting this person to fill them up. I need them to be full so when they meet the person, they're meeting someone at this full level where they're at, not at this sucked out, depleted level.

Fill your cup first. That way when it spills over, you can share it and you know you have a point of reference that you know what you're looking for and you know you have something to share. I mean, it's not a worthiness aspect, but I do believe everybody is or has the capability to be inherently happy. It comes from inside. But you got to clear the clouds. You just got to get rid of you. Don't ignore negative thoughts. We all have doubts and fears and things like that, but just realizing that those thoughts are just thoughts that you're sure didn't kill me. Well, duh. The obvious answer is no. We're. We're still here, right? So give it an opportunity until you hear that word no. And we all got no's during the previous challenge, and nobody turned me down for these interviews. Some didn't want to be recorded, and that was okay. But it's all in the way you present it, right? I mean, you have to read your audience. There's definitely something here for me personally, so I'm in with both feet.

Yay. And I'd also love to know you were one of the ones. And there were. There were quite a few people I was surprised that wanted. That were comfortable doing video because my initial thought was everyone was going to want to do the audio. And you got. So by the end of it, I'm like, man, Mike could be a YouTube star. You were like.

I mean, so comfortable just talking. And I love that you were able to do it wherever you wanted. I was just curious how you got that level of confidence to be able to do it and share it too.

Yeah. Not to repeat things, but my going in joke was, I hate my own voice. And then we were talking about the technical aspects. Oh, you can use a voice recorder on your phone. Okay, great. Well, crap, I can't get that over to Facebook. Okay, well, then what's the next best option? All right, let's use the phone. And you might as well have the video on. So. I mean, I did some videos. I didn't video other people like you did when you were romping around. I just got the sense people weren't confident, and I wasn't going to do that shock you thing that you see on social media. Right. But for me, recording it personally, I mean, there's so much to communication. Right. There's the voice, there's the intonation, there's the gestures. And of course, if people didn't know better, they would think I was Italian with the hands going. So I just, I got comfortable just, first of all, hear my own voice, and then realizing this is the easiest way to do it and having fun with it. I mean, the expressions hopefully added to it, and it's hard for me. There were some very creative people online that did the whole video presentation with the pictures, and that was beautiful. But the mere fact of working with the phone and just being able to get it from here to there, the simplicity of it worked for me. And speaking of YouTube, how everything ties together, I just did my interview with Artira.

Oh, yeah.

Last night. And so, so we had a, we had a blast talking with her, so. Oh, good.

I can't wait to see it.

Your other disciples.

So many things to do. Podcast was.

She was telling me because I, I, I wasn't really in tune with the fact that she was behind the scenes for the last challenge. She's got it, too. That's.

Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. It's just a matter of starting. And she was kind of like a lot of people where she was like, when I was originally talking to her about it, she was like, no, I don't want to do a podcast. And then I mentioned that it's almost how people use social media. It's just another expression of how you can share who you are. And then that's what opened her up. And I think now that she's moving, who knows, it could turn into something else. Cause she loves it.

I mean, I. I'm totally in line with that. I really like what you're doing. Currently just popping on with the live videos to explain a technical aspect, because I'll be honest, the podcast piece, meaning you have the headphones and the nice microphone and that. And is that all necessary to do it? No, you've already said that, right?

Yeah.

But the technical tutorials, this is what I learned. This is how you do these steps. This is the platform you're going to use, or could use. I don't have all that committed to memory yet, but to know that the resources out there, it makes it a little less daunting. I mean, none of us knew how to buy a house the first time we bought it. Right? You learned as you went, so why should anything else be any different?

Totally. And that's what I'm hoping with doing. I'm glad you mentioned the live video, because that's what I'm doing as I go on anytime I touch the new podcast. Because for those of you listening, I started a new podcast called the do the Thing Dating Experiment. Stemmed out of the do the Thing singles community. And it just is getting to know people in a. In a different way. And Mike has interviewed for that, too. He was one of our first interviews. And so anytime I touch anything with that new podcast, I'm doing a video. And so my thoughts are. Because eventually. Because I've already set it up, right? I created the podcast, I uploaded my image, and then I uploaded my first episode. And then now everything's gonna be the same anytime I touch it. You guys will see. Oh, it's. Now she's just uploading her episode again. I've already seen this. Oh, uploading it again. It's. Once it's set up, it's the same thing over and over again. And then I'm going to do a syncing with Adam where it'll go to Apple, and then it just automatically, once I publish it goes straight to the podcast. People just think it's hard. And that's why you're right. Anything, when you do it the first time, it's like, how do I do that again? Just like using Google Drive, it's the same kind of level of, if you call it difficulty or easiness or whichever way you look at that, but then once you know how to do it, you're just doing the same thing over and over again.

Right. Repetitive. I Mean, you got it. You have to expose yourself to it. First of all, you got to make a little commitment to it. You can't just expect things. I was talking to a friend, and she said, you know, when I really commit to something, I want to see it all the way through the end. Well, to me, it's a what that fits with what we're going to be doing next. I use the word we. It's like, I don't play for a professional sports team, but I refer to the Eagles as we, so I love we.

Actually, this friend of mine uses the term we an awful lot in her texts or from a we, you know?

And I said, well, I see that, because some of these people in the next challenge, that's what they want. They want to see it all the way through to a book, Right? And then other people might just enjoy the journey and being exposed to type of things. I had something pop into my head I want to mention, and I hope you don't mind kind of going back to the dating, but then feeding into the Find the Voice and kind of just saying yes. So the dating and the Find the Voice, and the folks on Facebook have started to throw a whole bunch of things. Hey, Mike. Hey, Mike. Hey, Mike, you might want to do this, you might want to do that, so you can filter that stuff out. But two things. One was I saw an open call for a commercial for. For an acting type of situation. So I. Earlier this week, I did an open call with about 100 other people.

Wow.

And all of a sudden, you get your 45 seconds, and you're the only one on the zoom. And I checked my heart rate before they called my name, and it was 110. And then you just let it happen. And I found out that I knew this was coming. It's a recruitment thing, so they want you to pay and coach you. Oh, we'll do this. So I didn't treat it too seriously, but still, it was cool. It just took a few minutes. And anyway. But the other thing was, there's this dating group on Facebook for my demographic, and I've been known to comment online on things, and I got into a conversation with somebody, and I said, as a joke, I said, you should come up with a dating app. And she said, oh, my gosh. She responded and said, I have thought about that for so long. She's like, do you want to help? And I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing, but sure, why not?

We're going to. We're going to talk tomorrow. I had no clue, obviously, but it's like I met somebody new and at the very least we're going to have a couple of laughs and maybe, maybe not, who knows?

And I think it's cool because you're just kind of exploring your curiosity and you're not attached to outcomes right now, which is kind of. It's a really fun place to be.

Oh, it, it really is clear. I was saying again to friends that I question myself every once in a while. Just as a check. Things are pretty good. Is this good? Not being pessimistic. But enjoy this because there's going to be a dip in life, right? Yeah, you're always going to have it. But it's for me, it's not just here between you and I. It's not just with my friends. I'm trying to encourage a friend to start an event planning business. So I'm feeding her information and suggestions and stuff like that. But it's also carried over to my professional career in that because I feel good and confident and kind of clearer in my thoughts. My communications with my customers and internally has improved in my overall job satisfaction has taken a step up. I see a good ramp plan this coming year. So I don't want to overuse the phrase things are falling in place, but people create this energy to what you said earlier, nobody is there to fill you up. You've run your own businesses, you want to support your employees, but it's not your job to fill them up. They better be bringing something to the table. So I haven't quantified what I'm bringing to the table yet, but I'm trying to put it together and maybe there's a couple of other things in the works. So we'll see.

Yeah. And I wrote this down from what you said in the very beginning and it's like you're not sure what to expect and that leaves you open minded and it sounds like that's kind of what you're doing with as you're approaching life right now.

Yeah, yeah. I mean it's again, oversimplifying things without getting too personal. I'm going out tonight with a group of friends and we're doing stuff that I love to do. Breaking bread, listening to music and hopefully dancing. There's somebody there that's a twinkle in my eye right now. But I'm not setting any expectations. If it's meant to happen, we'll just keep kind of wandering down the path. You can find so much research. Not research, but the quote unquote experts online. No, you've got to push the next agenda and the next step and the next. It's like now, you know what, I'm, I'm happy right now. Maybe it'll just keep getting happier. Why not, right?

Yeah, I love that.

I don't expectations about tonight but getting a good meal and getting a couple of dances in. Check that box.

That's so good. I was curious too. What do you think about the challenge? This one, the 17 day one, why do you think it really worked so well? What do you think helped it it work in the way that it did and connected the community together that way?

Well, community is the word I think that connected it, that's for sure. You had some, I'll call them veterans, some carryovers from the previous dare and I even noticed people from the previous dare contributing online, although they weren't actively participating. So I think it's that community aspect of people wanting to be engaged and being able to be engaged throughout the day. I have some ideas of some future challenges so we can save that for another time.

Oh, I want to hear them.

To me it was simply the community aspect and I know that people have taken that to another level and by that I mean sure, you can have comments online and then respond to that comment and blah, blah, blah, but I know me personally, I've taken conversations offline on messenger with a couple of people and you get that sense that people are open to that type of stuff.

Right.

And then that broadens the community, the pace. The giving the dare out the night before I think gave people a chance to kind of lean into it and whether you're doing it spontaneously, oh, there's the dare. Or you get a chance to think about it. And more often than not I did think about it. Like you said earlier, it works on different levels for people. So you could be as engaged or otherwise, whatever works for you.

What would be your advice to people that are thinking about joining a do the thing challenge but they're nervous?

Well, I mean if you're nervous, it's natural. So you're not the first and you won't be the last to have a little trepidation or anxiety or whatever the case may be. If you're nervous, I'll virtually guarantee something, sign up, join it, just monitor the class and before the challenge is over you will be commenting. So whether it be a thumbs up or a heart or something and then maybe you'll be ready to be an active participant in the next challenge. So take it in bite sized pieces but what are you waiting for? I mean, just. And you've used this before. Hey, if you don't like it, just. Just don't come to the meetings or just don't comment. I mean, nobody's going to judge you, right? So it's really something. It's a self paced, self care, self learning type of environment. How's that?

Oh, my gosh. So good, so good. Okay, I.

This is, this is the kind of clarity. And I look, you know, if I go talk to my neighbor, he's going to be like, oh, yeah, Mike. Okay, good. All right, that's great. But to be able to uncover something and it's going to be different for everyone. But do you want to. You want to hear the challenge?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for bringing up.

So, voice book podcast. How about a music challenge? Oh, singing or picking up an instrument. These are little things that may or may not be on people's bucket lists or sitting way back in a regret file. I never played an instrument. My parents never made me play an instrument growing up. I don't really regret it. I play a mean air drum.

But I've occasionally thought maybe if I was challenged, I might want to. Might want to do something like that.

You know, the thing I like about it is because with all these things, with the voice, the book, the podcast, I'm trying to open up different parts of their brain, or you guys, right? To open up different parts of your brain. So then you're getting that stuff out of your head. And then I think music sort of just leads right into that. I think you're right. I hadn't even had that on my radar, you see, from the events calendar that you helped me.

Put out. But my friend is a musician and I mean, she's told me she writes, she'll set aside time to write original material and what have you. And she's the one I told about the book and she's like, oh, my God, yes, that needs to be put out there. So that's kind of when it came to me. I mean, people get up and do karaoke. I've never done that. So I don't know, maybe.

Maybe I like it. Yeah, no, totally something there. Thank you.

You have other ones planned or thought about, so, yeah, I pretty much.

I have us covered through the summer, and then there's still. The end of the year is still open. So I've got a bunch of different ones that I'm tossing through, but I'm going to add that to the list because it's Goes into the same idea of freeing your mind of what you have to share with the world or share with you even, you know, and getting to know yourself. Because, honestly, the more and more I'm even doing the other podcast to do the thing, dating Experiment, I'm seeing a common theme, which is where I was too. It's like everyone spends so much time caring for everyone else, and then you're in this place, whether it's mid-40s, 50s, 60s. So far I've interviewed people in all those ranges. And then you're now getting to know yourself again and rediscovering what you want. And we're seeing this is our life. Let's live it now and get to know what lights us up.

Figure out a way to communicate and share that. Yeah, let's not go down the dating rabbit hole. We can save that for another conversation. Yeah, the fitness. When that rolls out, I'll be in. So the other thing I would say about joining the next challenge, whatever it is, the other thing that tipped me was the podcast about the book challenge with the experts. There are some things in there that resonated, that opened a couple of things for me. Yay.

It's working.

So exciting.

It's working for me. I mean, I've almost got one shirt for every day of the week, so I'll keep working on it, but it.

So cool. Well, it was wonderful having you on. I appreciate your value and the contribution you make. You definitely are a joy to have in the community. And it's been fun to get to know you on these podcasts, too. And through the celebration interviews and all that stuff that we get to do, I'd love to have you share where people can follow along with you and your journey.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Here we go again. Need to revise my Instagram. Yeah, my Instagram. Because it doesn't exactly roll off my tongue. I mean, the easiest way to get the get me is just on Facebook, really. Just Mike Hogan. So it's kind of simple. But what added into the show notes the Instagram.

Okay, sounds good.

I'll do that. Yeah.

All right. Thanks so much, Mike. I appreciate it.

Thank you, Stacey. All right, have a great weekend, and.

Thanks for joining the do the Thing podcast.