Episode 246: Wendy Axelrod: Navigating Transition from Law to Energy Healer and Mindset Coach

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, I'm excited because I got connected to my next guest from my amazing cousin. And it's amazing when you get to meet people who have lived through an experience and then are able to come on the other side of it and be able to help other people and impact them in a huge way, just because you have that knowledge of being able to figure out how to help yourself, so then it helps you help other people. So I'm really excited to sit down with my next guest and basically be able to talk about her story and then also how she's helping other people now as well. So I'm welcoming Wendy to the show. Hey, Wendy.

Hello. Hello. Thank you so much for this opportunity to share my story with your community and with Theo. So thank you.

Yeah, thank you for being here. I love doing this because we sort of just got connected. We talked briefly on the phone, and then now we get to bear our souls and be able to hear it for the full effect in terms of what it is, because I actually. It's funny, I don't know if you're in the do the Thing community group, but I just was burying my soul and alive. My first time ever crying because my story got impacted and I had a moment and I wanted to share it. And I think it's great when you get to just be open and vulnerable and by. By you being vulnerable now that you're able to actually help other people, because a lot of people, they're scared to put themselves out there or to be able to speak about their experience. But when you're able to do that, you're able to help people on such a huge level that no one else can even understand because they haven't gone through it themselves.

Oh, that's exactly right. And I was on a conference call last week where I shared my story, and. And afterwards, somebody reached out to me and said, oh, my God, that's me. That's my story. And when somebody can relate to your story in a way and say, oh, my gosh, that's my story. Can we talk?

Knowing that, gosh, I'm not the only one, that it's so validating to know that you're not the only one, and.

Normalizing with that, I'd love to hear about you. And if you can just share about your story and then we can kind of take it from there.

Absolutely. Thank you. So my story, gosh, I started. I made many career changes over the years, and I'M going to share my story in the context of my career change because that's how it really brought everything to the forefront. So academics were a huge thing in my house. I was raised by my dad, started as a lawyer, moved into software development. I then combined those careers in something called electronic discovery. And each time it was always about using my head, being in a very male dominated field, always thinking things through, working hard. And there was always a piece of me that said my favorite thing was always to help other people. In fact, when I wrote my law school application, my stepmother was like, well, this is great, but you have to rewrite this because you're applying to law school, not social work school. So there's always this component of wanting to help people. And my favorite part when I was in the ediscovery field, which basically combines the legal and the tech, was to help the lawyers that I was supporting to go from that place of I'm not using that technology, I didn't go to law school for that, or I can't use that technology, I didn't go to law school for that, to, oh wait, I'm doing it. And that shift, that energetic shift of believing in themselves, knowing they can do it with the right support in a private setting where you say, no, there's no stupid question, all questions are important. And just by feeling safe, creating that safe space for them to learn and to grow and to watch them shift energetically into that place of empowerment. I mean, that was when I did my happy dance. And lawyers are what I would call change retardant, kind of like fire retardant, like completely resisted at all costs and certainly the older generations that I was tending to support. So fast forward and I'm thinking, you know what? I've tried everything from a professional perspective. Sales management, project management, consulting. Being a lawyer, I thought, you know, what's next? I was kind of at a loss because I had all these skills, all these degrees and certifications. And a friend said, well, you've helped me more than anyone else ever did as a coach, even more than the coaches that my old law firm, when I was a partner, had supported me with. And there was always a piece of me like, oh, that would be cool, but I don't want to start a business. And I had a coach when I was a manager at one of the law firms and I grew so much from that. So fast forward. I decided to become a coach after that conversation because he was saying, how can I monetize a business that I had been contemplating, which was an anti aging blog. Cause most people, when they see me, think that I'm considerably younger than I am. I'm 54. So most people would give me at least, certainly back then, like 10 to 15 years younger. So they would ask me what I was doing. And when my friend questioned me on, hey, how are you gonna monetize that? And I thought, he thought, oh, no. He goes, all right, well then what's stopping you from becoming the coach that you said you wanted to do? And that was a pivotal moment for me. So just as an aside, having a friend who's gonna call you out on knowing what's important to you is such a critical thing on this journey. Full stop. So fast forward. And here's where we get into the religious stuff. I got my certification, and nobody tells you when you're going through your coaching certification or many of these other coaching, other certification programs where they're basically pushing you out to start a business. They don't tell you that starting a business is one of the greatest exercise in personal development. I mean, it tests you on every single level. Being a business owner is not for the faint of heart. So fast forward. I tried. And over the years, I had tried therapy and I tried coaching, including a really expensive business accelerator coaching program. And I came out the other end with very little to show for it. Joined another one, a smaller program. And one of the members said, hey, who had some a free energy session to get unstuck in your business? Like, I don't know what that is, but, you know, when I was so desperate for help that I agreed to the call, within minutes I have tears streaming down my face, the most cathartic release, but I'm not crying. And afterwards, I felt like for the first time in my life, this sense of lightness and feeling better that nothing else had ever achieved. So I called her mentor and I said, I have to hire you. One, because I need this help, and two, because I need to get certified in your modality. Now, I don't understand this rule of stuff or how it works, but if I can do this and help other people in the depth of their pain and struggle, I need to help. And that set me on my path. And what I ultimately learned was that not only was it difficult to start a business, but the reason why I was really struggling was I had a massive amount of childhood trauma that had been unhealed. Because we know, oh, yeah, you know, if our parents are divorced when we're little, yes, it affects us. But you tend to think more in terms of relationships and letting people in. Not necessarily the extent of it or the fact that I had a severely mentally ill mother who's neglectful, amongst other things. And that has played a huge role in what we call mother wounding. And I basically spent the whole pandemic getting 10 energy healing certifications and receiving a massive amount of healing, working with practice partners, working on myself daily, which is something I still do now, four years later. And I feel better than I ever had. So I want other people to be able to be aware of this option.

Yeah. I'm so curious because I feel like you're right. I like that you kind of brought out that the career change is what started it all. Because I think so many times we live on this autopilot in life where you just keep pushing through, but until something drastic happens, it's like the feather of the brick or the semi truck. Many times it is the semi truck. And whether that's divorce, widow, loss of business, loss of job, or just career change and wanting something different, it's like all of a sudden then everything else opens up and you're able to see things in a new way because you're not living that hamster wheel anymore.

Yes. Oh, absolutely. And it was so incredibly eye opening because I just had no idea it opened a whole other world. And I had always considered myself highly self aware. So for me to learn. Wait a minute, you are nowhere near the level of self awareness that you are. You're highly sensitive to everyone else's energy and to what they're feeling and what they're struggling with and you're living under the weight of your own struggle. But I had no idea that that's really what I was so sensitive to or so aware of. So. Absolutely.

And I love how you had this tenacity to learn how to work through it. And I loved how you mentioned the woo thing because I think there's a lot of people listening that are into energy and holistic healing and all of that. Then there's the other camp that is still like, what is that? And I feel like I've been in the middle where I am all in, in terms of whenever I'm with someone I have a holistic coach and all of that. And so what I'm really curious about is you came on with this tenacity to learn this and be able to figure it out and then push through the other side. How do you think you had that level of grit to be able to do that?

Wow. Well, you know, there's a few reasons I Think I'll give my dad actually a lot of this credit because he raised me. So my parents split up in the middle of first grade, lived with my mother for the first year, and then my dad raised us, which is part of the challenge. And his way was always use your head, think. I'm not gonna always be there for you. But he's like, that's why I sent you to law school, so you can think for yourself and protect yourself when I'm not there. So it was always use your head, think. Figure this out. So he was always a creative problem solver. And I'll never forget there are times when I said, how do I do this? I'm not going to tell you. Go ahead, go think it through. Come out when you're done. Because he really wanted me to have that ability to solve problems for myself. And so he had that tenacity. If he wants to do something, that's what he would do. And then fast forward. There are a couple paths that someone who's had a traumatic childhood can go through. One is that high performer, perfectionist. Everything is academics and you throw yourself into work, you numb yourself with work or busyness. The other side is someone who goes down the path of addiction, whether that. And that can include obviously working, but also the drugs, the alcohol, shopping, gambling, whatever that may be. And I went down the high performer, the perfectionist education route. So I was always throwing myself into that aspect. So fast forward. I'm working in a law firm, one of the big ones, and I had a boss who was a. Oh my God. Perfectionist. Everyone on the team really largely was, but the boss really, really was. And they had a mantra, which was something that I always stood by, which is failure is not an option. And when you're in client service, that's a great mantra to have when you're in a big law firm, especially because the stakes were so high. So you were held to that standard and you were supported with that. So part of it is having that support and then having that muscle built in myself and knowing there was. Even before I started my whole long winded story that I went through, there were some really horrible, horrible times I had spent. I don't know if you heard the expression, dark nugget of the soul. Oh my gosh. When I was trying to figure out what's next before ending up down the path of coaching, I had no idea what I wanted to do any. Even when I was trying to get my start, there were many days when I was on the couch in a Horrible depression, thinking I'm completely stuck, I'm really at a loss. So it's not that I was always this gung ho trying to solve my problems, but now as soon as I realized, oh my gosh, I have a solution finally.

Then it was, excuse the expression, but balls to the wall. I earned 10 certifications in two years. That was so important to me because now I knew there was nothing inherently wrong with me. There was just a lot of healing to be done. So that was a huge aspect for me.

Yeah, there's so much in there too, because I feel like you have this academic side to you, right where you got your law degree, you're doing all of this stuff and then when you almost identified as your work. Right. And so that's why that's so hard when that ends and you don't know what you're doing because you're losing this whole piece of piece of your identity. And so you're finding this shift in really trying to figure it out. And I feel like that's the most dysregulating part of that when you've lived your life for that, basically.

Yes. And actually that is a great message to share with people, which is our society has conditioned us. Get the great grades, get into the best schools, get the best jobs. It's always like, rise up in status, wise up in things and money. The thing is, if you're not doing work that leverages the best of you and what you most love to do and are best at, I mean, it's just so unfulfilling and it just grates on you. And then of course, our society doesn't really support figuring that out. And then we wonder why we feel lost because Suddenly in our 40s especially, that's when you're starting to hit that point of why am I here? What do I want to do? I don't want to just climb the corporate ladder because it's not feeding my soul. And even if they can't verbalize it, that's really what's going on. So part of it is absolutely finding that peace. And as part of that, well, I'll not forget when I went from practicing law to software development, I still had to tell people I'm a lawyer because my ego is saying that's what mattered. Even though what really mattered is who I am deep down. And that never changes. But we stayed with our attachment. And even when I went from coaching and took on energy healing, telling people I'm an energy healer and sharing that woo woo. So to your Point. So coming out as a healer, at least I would analogize it to coming out in other ways because it's not socially accepted by many. And even in my family, that was a huge part of my story as well. Like, you're doing what you gave up practicing law, you gave up all these other things to do what? They don't understand it. They couldn't relate to it. And it's also, despite being in the medical profession, they didn't even believe in therapy. They didn't believe in diving into themselves and getting to know themselves, which is a key thing. If you want to be happy and successful. You have to go within. It's an inside out job, not an outside in job.

Yeah. I love the timing of this interview. So I'm right now in the middle of. I just launched the find your voice challenge, which is a live challenge I did in January, and then I turned it to an on demand challenge. I do it a few times a year. And you're really speaking to what? And that's where the crying mess video happened today. Because I'm tapping so into why this is so important for me to help people find their voice. So when do the thing first started, it was about doing the thing right? And that was what I was doing, is I'm like, do the thing. I even had this intro that I had recorded that was like, get him. And then as I started interviewing people, I realized I've always done the thing, but I didn't always do the thing because it came from my heart. It came from what I thought I had to do or what people expected of me. And so this podcast has evolved now into doing the thing for you and not what you're conditioned from all of these things. And so that, I think, is what finding your voice is, right? It's finding that truest version of you and then being able to come on the other side and speaking it. And I'd love to hear that part of your story. Now you found this thing that you figured out who you were, what you want to do, so you found your voice, and then now you're coming on the other side of it. Now you're able to share it. And how did you get over that? Because I know so many people. There's this barrier there. I had it where I was hiding for so long, and then finally it just. It started in baby steps for me. I had even this podcast. It was audio only for 80 episodes until I was comfortable beyond video. And so I'm just curious how that kind of progression was for you.

Wow. So for me, when truth is spoken, I get a little tears. I'm starting to feel that a little bit. Because this is what we were talking about earlier about the vulnerability piece. I mean, this is where it's all about. First off, there's a societal belief that being vulnerable is a weakness. And the truth is, nothing could be further from the truth. Being vulnerable is, is being courageous. It is a strength. And I can't even begin to tell you how much work I did on myself. I mean, when I said earning all the certifications and I was doing that work, I was working on myself constantly and digging deep. There were times that I was in session and it felt like something really raw was being brought up to heal. That was at times absolutely petrifying. So part of it was saying, I want this for myself. I want life to be easier. Because I used to always look at other people and say, why does it seem like life is easier for them? And it was. When you're living under a lot of trauma and when it comes to speaking your truth, that is a really big area. So, for example, for women or even children generally, children should be seen and not heard right. Or if you have parents that get angry all the time or were alcoholics or abusive, you're going to silence your voice because you want to play small. So there could be so many. I'm just throwing out a couple examples. There are so many reasons why. Or becoming a healer, oh my God, I'm going to be rejected. So abandonment was a big issue, a big wounding for me to work on in this life time. So the fear of being abandoned or rejected, if I told people, this is what I'm doing. And to speak the truth about that openly, originally, in fact, I used to say to people, I'm doing energy healing now, but if you ever told me that I'd be doing this in a million years, I think you were crazy. Five years ago. If that was the case, I always had to qualify it. Now I can walk out and see. No, I'm an energy healer. This is what I do. I use my except coaching as well. But I lead with the healing because it goes so deep. In fact, I had a session with the healer where I used to be very soft spoken. And I would always hear, I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I can't hear you. I was always called out for being so soft spoken. And after one of the sessions that specifically focused on the throat and the soul chakra, that opened me right up. So it takes a While. But working on the throat chakra is a big piece of it. And understanding where that wounding comes from. And sometimes we don't, sometimes we do. So it's about helping people understand that. And that was part of my story, was to just continue and recognizing, okay, as I heal, then you step into the new version of you, so to speak. And then you're like, okay, what's next? Where am I struggling to to put my voice out there? Or where am I struggling to put myself out there? Be visible. But what happens if I speak my truth? What happens if I am seen? What's the fear? What's the narrative that you're telling yourself? And sometimes journaling is a great way to get that out. But it was persistence and receiving healing from different healers because everybody has their different experiences. So that was a big, big piece of it.

Yeah. And it's so important.

So.

So that was my video today as I was talking about this shower cap moment that I had had during the start a podcast challenge that I did in April. And I basically kept seeing the people that were in the challenge. And in the beginning, everyone had all their makeup and dressed perfectly and the video was perfect. And I'm like, oh my gosh, they're gonna mess it up for all the other people that aren't there yet. And so I took a shower and then had a shower cap on, went downstairs and basically did a live in the group during the challenge. And that was my moment of finding my voice where I literally didn't care in if people were like, oh, I don't like this, she's in a shower cap. But what happened was the group really came alive then where everyone was then posting videos. And so many people started their podcasts because of that. But what I realized today, which was my crying moment. So your timing is perfect, I guess, cuz we're in this space. But it was so much deeper than that. If you had held back, right, and you stayed hidden, then someone who needed to hear what you had to say would never hear it. And that's for me, when my experience after my divorce and the kids and all that stuff, I wouldn't have cared what that person looked like dressed like. I just needed to hear the message during that time. And so that's the work that I'm really doing is helping people come out of that shell so that way they can help the people. Exactly. What you're doing is to me what is so powerful to help more people do that. So I'd love to just first ask if Anything's coming alive for you. And then we could kind of transition and talk more about your healing business and what that looks like now.

Absolutely. The idea that we are here to share our gifts so that other people will have an easier time of it. I mean, that's why we're here. Certainly healers and healers, that doesn't mean necessarily energy healing. That could be a doctor, a coach, somebody who creates an offering that's intended to help others grow in a way that's healing to them. So. So what would I say about that? I would say, amazing how when I have shared my message, within moments, days, I'll get contacted by someone who said, thank you for sharing that. That was my story or sharing. I was out to dinner with a law school classmate that I hadn't seen in ages, and I told her a story about how I helped another client who was a chronic relapse or an addict. And I didn't know that before starting to work with her. And oh, my God, it was such heartbreaking. She relapsed right before we started, and I didn't know, should I continue to work with her or what should I do? And I figured, let me give it a shot. We'll do the first session. If it's not a fit, we'll stop. And we did the first session, and she was completely fine and doing really well with the healing in the session. After the first set, when we started the second session, I always ask people to focus on the positive things that have happened from the prior. And I said to her, so what have you noticed? Well, first, I can't believe how quickly this works. And then the start of the next session, I said, what'd you notice this time? Oh, my God. This was the easiest 36 days I've ever had in terms of managing my cravings. Because she felt safer, more secure in her energy and her boundaries, so there's less of a need to protect herself with alcohol. And then after the third, she actually had a horribly stressful day and said, I had an awful day after our third session, a day that my boyfriend was really nervous that he was going to set me back to relapsing. And instead, I went to the gym, I worked out, I went home, I listened to the recording of our third session, and I went back to work. I like, are you serious? It's just dumbfounding when you know the value of what you do and the power of what you do. So when you share your message and somebody says, oh, my gosh, I resonate with you, I know like and trust you. I want to work with you. And then when I shared that with my law school classmate, this story, she said, you know, Wendy, I've been an alcoholic for 20 years. I haven't had a drink since. And that loan was she signed up. So it's really, sometimes it's just you're what I need to hear you are. The solution I didn't know existed, but I think that's a really, really key piece is people don't realize what resources or means of getting better or growing are fully available to them.

How did you get over that fear of judgment and all of that that you went through?

Um, that was a talk about peel away the layers of the onion. That is something that had so many roots. You talk about a tree with a gazillion roots underneath and just literally working at it, chipping away at that, because that's a very deeply rooted wounding. So it tends to take the longest. Especially for childhood trauma. It's that first seven years of your life when your brain is essentially or six to seven years, it's in a theta brain state. So you're open to everything around you. So that one in particular, what people say, what you're supposed to do, how you're supposed to do it, that's all ingrained in you. So learning how to step away from what others are telling you to do, think, act or be, and saying, wait a minute, I want to listen to my own inner guidance. We're not taught to learn that. So it was peeling away the layers of the healing that had to be done. And as I did that and felt safer to put myself out there, I became less concerned with what other people think. So I would say that is probably the biggest way in which I did that.

And what would be your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing?

Believe in yourself and know that no matter how hard or dark it may feel, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Because let me tell you, I had some really dark days and now I've never been happier than I wish that for everyone, truly.

And I'd love to hear more about your healing practice now and what that looks like and who you'd like to help.

Sure. So I would say that my target client is, is a self aware, high performing woman over 40 who feels stuck taking action in her business because of her inner mindset, resistance and basically she's self sabotaging. She is the block for moving forward. And I do one on one sessions, I do group work. But I also have a signature program that I call the Unstucky Accelerator. That's why I have it in my name here. And basically where that came from. So sometimes we think that we have to throw out the baby with the bath water when we design what's next for us, that really resonates. And the truth is I'm an innovator. I'm a creative problem solver. I'm an efficiency finder. And I realized after spending tens of thousands of dollars on healing and certifications and all the time in reflection and listening to the session recordings, that I wanted to give others the ability to heal a lot in a much faster period of time with a set structure. Because when you've had a lot of trauma, the need to know what's next, Uncertainty is a big issue. So being able to say, here's your seven sessions, here's what we're going to cover and here are the benefits of it. And that's all you have to do is show up. Because a lot of high performers just don't have the time. So. Or they're afraid to talk. Right. So giving them that. So starting with that program which helps with being more in flow. So when things go sideways or people or places or situations that would normally trigger you, they suddenly are just rolling off your back like a duck water off a duck. More confidence. Suddenly feeling worthy and deserving of having what you want in life. Believing that what you want to achieve is possible. Speaking your truth without worrying what other people are going to say is a big one. Especially when I get to the throat chakra session. Being less judgmental and critical of others and of yourself, more self accepting. So it basically works on all the different levels and then one on one sessions where we then dive into what are the specific issues that you are struggling with. So that could be half hour sessions, one hour sessions. And I typically prefer to work with packages. I do work with people who fall outside of my niche if they resonate with my message. I'd say the key thing for me is they're hungry, they want to do this work, they want to rip this stuff out by the roots, they want to be better, they want to grow, they really want to be their true selves. So those are the key. And then I also have a combined Reiki. I don't tend to use it as much, but it's great for burnout. And if someone just wants to relax and then if they want to deal with a particular ratio, I'll bring in some of my other tools. To nip the issue in the bud.

So I love the expansiveness of what you have to be able to help people. It's almost like you meet them where they are, you have a lot of different ways that you can help them.

Exactly. Because different people need different things. And it really is that important because if somebody shows up and they're not ready for the bigger work, going right into my program. All right, let's just try to session. Yeah. And get a feel for how I work. And invariably, for the most part, when people do that first session, if this is aligned for them, it's like, you know, we're off to the races.

And where can people reach out to you if they're interested?

Sure. You can email me wendyxlerod.com they can also reach me on my website, wendyaxelrod.com I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Facebook, although I tend not to be as involved on Facebook. Really? That's not where I'm doing marketing, but I'm in your group, so they can always find me there.

Thank you so much for coming on. This was incredible. Getting a chance to talk to you and hear your story.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And I just truly hope that there are people out there that hear the mask and say, yes, I can do this.

And for the listeners, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. And hey, guys, have you checked out my Facebook group yet? Go to do the thing community dot com.