Episode 250: Jocelyn Johnson: She Leaped from Shy to Shine at the Cocktail Challenge

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. All right, guys. Well, this is one of my favorite do the thing moments when I get to introduce you guys to one of our unbelievable not only do the Thing community members, but do the thing champions. And she was in our two hour cocktail party challenge, which was based off of Nick Gray's book, the two hour cocktail party. I got really creative with the challenge name. I copied it off of his book. But anyway, she just showed up, you guys. She showed up and really inspired and encouraged everyone around her. I mean, it was amazing from being able to do all the dares hosting her parties. I mean, she even handed out things for her neighbors to make them feel comfortable with her having a party at her house. And now she's in the find your voice challenge. And so it's been really neat just to see her evolve through the process and through the challenges and the growth that she's having. And I'm so excited to get to introduce her to you and dive into her story even more. So I am welcoming Jocelyn to the show.

Hey, Jocelyn. Hey, Stacy. Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.

Yeah, it's so fun because we've been kind of in each other's worlds now for the last few months. I feel like I've known you for a year because I've been in your.

House and been on your walks.

That's right. I'd love to have a start off and just share why you decided to join the do the thing challenge in the first place. What got you to say yes?

So actually, I just. I had all this time on my hands and I was scrolling Facebook and your ad popped up. I had never heard of do the thing or Stacy Lauren or the two hour cocktail party or any of it. And it all just made so much sense to me. It's strange that I had never heard of any of it because all of these things are things that Jocelyn would do. And so for all of that to pop up Facebook ad, I was like, okay, they're watching me, but they got it right this time, so let me look at it and see what this is. And so I clicked on the link, I read more about it, and I had been laid off from work back in July, and so I was filling my time with things that were not only going to stretch me and help me to grow as a person, but also things that would be fun and things that I could include my friends in and things that might help me meet new people and that sort of thing. And so this just. It fit so perfectly in this season. And so we also lost my sister last December, and she used to push me all the time to step out. Comfort zone. Cause she's like, you're really good at a lot of different things, but you should go and do the things you don't normally do. And so this was something that she would have pushed me to do, so it just made sense. But I accepted the challenge.

Yeah. Then if we tap back into the do the thing formula, just with your sister having pushed you. Right. And then you having this time to be able to honor her, that's really why you were able to just show up during the challenge, because you were able to tap back into that. And I remember seeing you talk about that, and I felt so. Just moved by her story and being able to see how this connected you closer to her.

Yes, absolutely. It was definitely a time that I felt like she showed up again for me, even though she's not here physically.

Yeah. So I'd love to have you just share how the challenge went for you. Maybe what you got out of it and all the good stuff that we could. We could hear.

Absolutely. So I will say I love that we call it a challenge, but you literally made it the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. So it's a challenge, but it was not challenging, I guess. Well, let me just say it was fun to do because there were other people that were doing it with me. Right. So I had a community. I didn't have to do it by myself, but I could run ideas and things that felt challenging, pass the group and get everybody else's feedback. Feedback that was amazing. Have access to Nick's book, which, I mean, if you just read the book and do what it says, you literally just kind of. You have to throw a party because the book basically throws a party for you. So that was amazing. And I loved just kind of being able to engage with everybody and hear different ideas. And I have hosted events in the past, but it's always been big scale stuff. Like I hosted an awards show and I did my 40th birthday party. Really big. And things for church. And so it's always months and months of planning and coordinating vendors and that sort of thing. And so to have this come along, I will say, I guess the most challenging thing for me was actually kind of scaling it back. There were a few times where I was planning a menu and I'm like, I know Nick says don't cook and don't, but I Have to.

Right.

The people are gonna expect it. But I'm so glad that I decided to use the formula because it really, I mean, it proved itself in the end, choosing to just show up and do it in a simple way. People were really appreciative of that, I think. And I feel like I got more time with my guests. I was able to connect with them more deeply just because I was running around trying to make sure everything was perfect. It was awesome. And I'm so excited to be doing it again. So my next two hour cocktail party is next month. I'm so excited.

That's so awesome. And I love that you said that too. Cause I actually didn't connect the dots on that. I connected it more on how cool it is because you don't have bad feelings after it's done and you want to do it again like you're doing. But I loved what you said about you actually get to enjoy the party because it kind of runs itself with the way he has you set it up.

Yep. It was perfect. There are. I can't even tell you, my favorite part of anything I've planned in the past has always been the end of it. I love when it's over and I can say, oh, I got through it. Right? But this party, I have so many high points that were like, oh, I love that we did this. And I really enjoyed having this moment with my guests. And I remember seeing the looks on their faces when this thing happened. And I don't have those memories of other events. So this was awesome.

Okay. And that brings up a good point for anyone listening that maybe didn't see the challenge and they don't know Nick's book. How would you describe what we went.

Through by doing the challenge?

Yes.

So we jumped right in and it was this amazing book that is a super easy read because it's so. I mean, the book is engaging and it's entertaining. And I feel like after we got a chance to meet Nick virtually. Right. I felt like I could hear him even when I was reading the book. Now, granted, there were some chapters that I listened to, so I literally did hear him. But even just reading the book in the car, I heard Nick's voice because it's just a really easy read. Fun. And so we were able to read this book and get checklists and formulas and all the insights of how to put together this two hour cocktail party where people get to show up, enjoy their time in your space, engage with each other. There's name tags. So nobody has the pressure of feeling like, oh my God, what's her name? All the things that I go through at other parties where I'm like, I've got to remember all 32 people's names. But there was none of that pressure for this. So that was really awesome. So we get this formula, we go through the book and everybody all together sets their party date and goes through the process of sending out invitations and we write our guest bios, which is probably one of my most favorite pieces of this entire project. Being able to just write a little blurb about how you know each person and introducing them to each other before the party ever even happened, that was so much fun. They talked about it at the party. And so you go through all of these things and then you host your two hour cocktail party. And it is two hours. I was very intentional about that. So we went from 7:16pm to 9:21pm and I was like, and at 9:21 you all have to go, you're leaving, you're going through that front door. You have to be outside at 9:21. I mean, they even got a kick out of that because they knew me as the person who's like, no, stay as long as you want to. So that was a different experience for my guests. It was like, are you really going to put us out? And I'm like, yes, absolutely. At 9:21, you have to go home or somewhere. You have to leave my home. But we go through the process, we all go through the book, we set the party date, we have the party and then we come back together and we talk about our parties. And it was just, it was fun and it was, it was a great way to connect not only with people that I know, some new people that I've met and then people that I met through the challenge. I made so many friends through the do the thing challenge. It's awesome. I love it.

I'd love to hear too, because on that very first kickoff, that's when I said, set the date, right? And that's the moment when you could decide to do it or not do it. And I'm just curious what got you to actually say, okay, Nick said, set the date. We're setting the date.

Yeah. So you said set the date. And I literally thought, no, I'm back now, I guess we're doing this. And so I was like, I haven't. I mean, set the date. Well, when. I mean, I guess I need to look at the calendar, right? So I'm looking at the calendar and there were a few dates on there, that might have worked, might not. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't know. But then listening to you guys talk even more, you're like, well, here's how you set your date. You're going to talk to your core group of people and you're going to find out what might work for them. And if you get a certain number of yeses, that's your date. And I was like, oh, this is easy enough. And I think the fact that everything was a formula and it was kind of a, well, if I can check these boxes off, then I've done it. Right? So let me just go through and see if these boxes will check themselves, and if they don't, we'll keep moving forward.

And how do you think you have grown during the challenge?

So I absolutely have been working on learning how to just take imperfect action. Right. Just move without having to feel like things need to be perfect or perfectly planned out, that sort of thing. And I had a significant amount of growth in that area with this challenge with the two hour cocktail party, because even though I have talked about it previously, it turns into more talk than action. And so it's like, okay, I'm going to take imperfect action, but first I'm going to make these five things perfect, and then I'm going to say, you know, almost imperfect action. Just as, I mean, a little bit more perfect than imperfect. But with the do the thing two hour cocktail party challenge, it was like, no, Jocelyn, you're going to take this imperfect action because today you are setting the date. You're not going to make it perfect, and that's okay. And honestly, I mean, like I said, I feel like it turned out perfectly because I didn't try to make it perfect. Yeah.

And you mentioned some of the high points of the party when you had that moment of just seeing, oh, wow, that's cool. Were there any that you can kind of talk about right now?

Sure. So there were points where I will say one of the expectations that I set was that my guests were going to be up, walking around, mingling, talking to each other. That did not happen at my party. Everybody basically sat in a really big almost circle, and we all talked and we shared things. And so the theme. And I know we want themes, but I'm a theme girl. I had to do that. So the theme of my party was fill the positivity. And so it was all about just kind of sharing positive highlights from the year and motivating and encouraging each other to finish the year out strong and Hearing what we all had planned for the end of the year. Right. If anybody had big plans in the works or things that they wanted to at least start before 2023 ends. And so about affirmations. And we talked about things that we do to motivate ourselves and we share just kind of tips and tricks and that kind of thing. And it turned into this big powwow of everybody sitting around encouraging each other. And I loved it. And I feel like people made friends that night because I had. I think there were 21 people at my party. And no one knew. Well, no one besides me knew more than three people at the party coming in. So I was intentional about that. I wanted to make sure that people were going to be meeting new people. And so I just kind of lined it up so that nobody knew more than three people. And so they all met new folks. And some of them are still in contact with each other today. And there was one lady there who had just gotten into planning vacations and travel and that sort of thing. And she. I mean, she was brand spanking new to it, like a week or two. And so she was able to talk a little bit about that and get some feedback from people. And people are reaching out to her from my party and getting her through travel. And I love that. I just love that I was able to connect those folks.

Isn't that amazing when you know you're a part of being able to help someone leverage like that? That's so cool.

Yeah.

I'd love to hear about your next party. Are you going to do it similar? Do you have a different theme in mind? Because that's kind of the nice thing about his parties, right? Is it becomes so. I don't want to say automatic, but since you already know the structure, it's easy now. You can kind of integrate it however you want.

So the next party fame is staying home for the holidays. So because I live in Atlanta and most people here are transplants, at Christmas time, the city kind of gets really quiet because a lot of people go home for the holidays. And so typically we do as well. I'm from Texas, and so we'll go back to Austin for the holiday season. But this year for the party, I want to invite people who are choosing to stay in the area for the holidays. And so we'll kind of create our own little tradition type thing or share traditions with our friends who are going to still be here in the area. One that I'm planning to do differently is this time, the last time with all the positivity My drink or my, my signature drink was hard seltzer, but it's a tea flavor or tea blend. And so this time I want to do Christmasy holiday punch flavored type stuff. And so I'm inviting guests to, to make suggestions or give feedback on their favorite holiday drink type thing or send their recipe or whatever. And so we're gonna get the ingredients and let people just kind of mix their own type stuff and see what we come up with. So it'll be a little interactive.

Yeah. So fun. And just so you guys know, as you're listening to this, that's how this works. Right. Once you learn a formula, you're able to follow it. And this is with anything you do, then you're able to. Okay, do I wanna add this or do I wanna add this? It doesn't have to be so in a box. Basically, you can expand on things, do them.

Absolutely.

So. Okay, well, this isn't your first do the thing moment. You have several other do the thing stories in your life. I'd love to just have you share a little bit about that.

Sure. So I would say the first thing that I just jumped out there and did was the weight loss. So I lost or released is what I say. I released just over 270 pounds. Wow. And that was directly related to health challenges. So I was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension and they were both completely out of control. So I was on metformin and insulin and lots of other medications. And I had a car accident and had back surgery and I wasn't healing after the surgery. And so. Oh, I guess I should also say I had a weight loss surgery before all of that, that was not successful. I gained 80 pounds after the weight loss surgery. And so then I had back surgery and I was not healing. And my surgeon told me that it was because of the weight and if I wanted to feel better, then I was going to have to lose weight. I didn't believe or trust him. I called him a quack. I said, well, why wouldn't you tell me that before I went through all of this? And so my mother, knowing her child very well, suggested that I lose a few pounds. And then when I didn't feel better, I could go back to him and say, aha. See, I told you it was you, not me. Yeah, mom, that's a good idea. So I went and I had plenty of losing. I was going to lose 30 pounds, right. I was like, I'm gonna lose 30 pounds. And then when I don't feel any different I can go back and tell him it's his fault. And so I decided to just eat less and move a little bit more. At that time, I was walking on a walker. Sometimes I could use a cane, but for the most part I was using a walker. I would have to park as close as possible. If I went to a store or something like that, and it would take me a really long time to get inside. I couldn't get out of bed first thing in the morning. I'd wake up and take a pain pill and then go back to sleep for about an hour before I could even move. And so my commitment to moving more was, okay, instead of at the closest parking space at the store, I will park farther out and use my walker or whatever and just walk up to the store. And so I started doing that and then eat less. My commitment was, because I'm a foodie, I love food eating to this day. And so I was not gonna change what I was eating. I was only gonna eat less what I was eating. And so I threw out all my, my normal size plates and I was just using the little dessert sized plates and so plate at each meal. And that was it. Now I was piling it as high as I possibly could without food falling off, but I was only eating. So I made those small changes and the weight started to come off. And about a month later, I had lost over 30 pounds. And my mom said, now you can go back and tell them you don't feel any different. I was like, yeah, but I do.

Feel, I do feel different, mom. And she's like, oh, well, we gotta be sure. Let's do another mom. So long story short, that eventually turned into, wow, I really do feel better the more weight that I lose. And so when all of that started, I weighed in over about £460. And so I just kept going. I eventually changed what I was eating and my move more turned into go to the gym and do actual exercises and that sort of thing. And so I just kept going and the weight kept coming off. And then I started learning about ways to maximize those results and to get my body healthy from the inside out. And eventually I was able to come off of the diabetes medication and come off.

Blood pressure medication. And I've been off meds for over 10 years now, and I have not looked back. So I've kept the weight off for. This is my 11th year.

Wow, that's incredible.

Yeah, incredible. And it's like you're so vibrant, right? And so alive in the way that you talk and move and everything. And I just hearing you talk about what it was like for you, it's just totally different now.

Yeah, it is. It is absolutely different. And one thing I will say is I'm grateful for the opportunity to kind of let my do over at life because I really was headed down a very different path. And weight is something that my family has struggled with, both sides, Mom's side and dad's side. My little sister who passed last December, she was diagnosed with adult onset type 2 diabetes at age 8. And so she struggled with that and was on dialysis, had full kidney failure, was on all the medications, all those kinds of things. And so I have an understanding that definitely the medication does what it's supposed to do, but also it's taxing on our bodies. Right. So one of the things that I'm really grateful for is that in all of that, I was able to learn about what I'm putting in my body and how I'm treating my body and understanding that how I treat my body has a lot to do with how my body will treat me. Right. And so a friend of mine introduced me to a product called Plexus. It's the pink drink, and that's what basically stabilized my blood sugar and helped me to come off of the diabetes meds. And so it's little things, right? It's. I had heard her talk about Plexus before, but I. It didn't matter to me or make a difference to me until it was something that I was like, okay, well, now need to come off these meds. Now I'm ready to change my life. And so all of a sudden, Plexus was like this big aha moment. And she's like, I've been telling you about it. And that's why, I guess I keep telling the story, I keep talking about it because I'm sure that at some point somebody is going to be in their aha moment and they'll hear my story. And I hope that it'll just motivate them and encourage them to make their own way and take charge of their own life.

So from the mindset perspective, I know you had the drive of wanting to go back to the doctor and say, oh, it didn't work. But was there anything else that kept you going when you started making these habits and you started shifting in the ways that you did?

Yeah, I felt better and my clothes started fitting differently, and I was. I mean, I was the chubby kid. So from my earliest memories, I was always just a big kid. I'm I mean, you probably can't tell because I'm sitting here, but I'm six foot one, so I'm really tall. And I was always just really big. And I was the kid that kids called Jolly Green Jocelyn just fit. I was like, thanks for the name, Mom. But it's just one of those things that was part of life. And so as things change, things changed. I realized that I was being received differently. Even I could walk into the grocery store or walk into the bank and not feel like people were looking at me in that way. Right. With the judgy eyes, as I like to call them. And I liked not feeling judged.

So I kept going.

Yeah, I'd love to also hear about your children's books.

Yes. So I love that you use the S on the end because there will be more than one, but right now there's only one. So I have a book called On Account of Billy T. And it's a book about a little girl who is always just getting into trouble, and her parents and her teachers and everyone around her keeps telling her that it's on account of Billie T. And she's like, this kid Billy is really giving me a run for my money here. Like, I don't understand why I'm getting in trouble because of this kid, Billy T. So basically, the book walks you through a few different scenarios, things that she's doing, and people are trying to teach her a lesson. And in the end asks her father about Billy T. And he's like, no, honey, not on Account of Billie T. It's on accountability. And so the dad explains to her what accountability is and why it's important. And so it's just a little life lesson for kids. Thus far, it is tracking really well with children from age 4 all the way to age 14. So I'm excited about it, and I love that it's engaging the kids and they seem to be learning something from it. So I'm definitely planning to go back and do a another in that series.

So you literally have a book, published it, selling it, the whole thing.

The whole thing.

So how did you figure that out? How did you know what to do with being able to do that? I think that's something that so many people dream of doing.

So, Stacy, I am really glad that you. You're the first person to ever ask me this question. And first I'm nervously going to say the book was literally a dream. So I was asleep, I had a dream, and it was more like a poem because the book rhymes. But I woke up And I just wrote it all day. I picked up my phone and I typed it all in my phone in an email to myself. And then I went back to sleep. And the next day I woke up and I read it and I was like, oh, this is really good. Like this is actually pretty cool. And so for years I just kind of sat on it and talked to people and I was like, hey, I've got this idea for this kids book, but I need to find somebody to illustrate it. So that's going to be the reason why I don't do it right now. And then last year for my birthday, my best friend gifted me the illustrated pages to my book. Yeah, uh huh. There were so many tears. We were at a restaurant and I do this thing. So I am Princess Sunshine. I read to children. I get fully dressed up in princess dresses and tiaras and everything. And so at this moment for my birthday, we were going to a Bridgerton ball. And so I was in a full blown ball gown. We're sitting in this restaurant and she has pages and I could not contain myself. Like there's tears and I think there's a video somewhere of this. But I wasn't expecting it. I had asked her to do it years before and she decided that this was the time. So she gave it to me and I was like, okay, this is it, we're doing this now. I have no reason not to. And then things just, I kind of put pause on it because of everything that was going on with my sister. And then in January, after my sister's funeral, I had kind of a do the thing moment. And it's like, okay, there are too many things that I have been saying I'm gonna do. And there were a lot of things that I had talked with Jen about my sister. She's like, when are you gonna do that? You said you were gonna, you said you were gonna. Maybe not. And so I made a list and that book was at the top of the list. And I was like, I am doing this, I am doing this thing. And so it took maybe about three weeks. I published it through Amazon. I just had to upload the pages. And it's out there, it's for sale, it's on Kindle, it's here now. And so in my dedication page is to my sister. And it simply says, look Jen, I did it. Tonya, my gosh.

Amazing, amazing. Congratulations. It's huge. And it sounds like it's going to be an incredible. I mean it's great. One book is amazing. But I'm Just imagining that this is going to be the beginning of so many cool things. If you decide to go that route.

Yeah, I'm really excited about it. And I do have some ideas for. I actually have ideas for the next three, so I write those. You just made me feel really good.

Yeah, I know.

I was going to say, you got.

To take a really good sleep. Have a really good sleep.

That's the coolest story. Because it's like, how many times do you wake up and you see an.

Email from yourself and then it's actually a really cool idea.

Oh, my gosh. I'm just so happy for you. Sorry. I'm just reveling in that moment of just the beautifulness of it. I'd love to hear what else is on the list. Do you want to give us a couple other things that are on there?

Sure. On the list of the things from January. Yeah, the things. So it was that. It was the Princess Sunshine thing because I had always talked about wanting to read to children and do a character. I didn't know what character, but Princess Sunshine is who came. So that was on the list, my final 15, which was the last £15. So I told you that the book, the dedication page says, look, Jen, I did it, but I didn't tell you that it signed pb, Like P as in Paul and B as in boy. But it signed PB because Jennifer used to call me Pumpkin Butt.

And she's the only person who was ever allowed to do that. But that was because after I lost over 270 pounds, I had these last 15 pounds that I talked about for 10 years. And I was like, I just gotta look at those last 15. Like, I have these 15 pounds that I want to lose. I'm going to look at these last 15. And so we used to talk all the time. And she'd be like, so this year maybe. Are you going to. Will the last 15 be this year? No. Okay, well, we'll see. And so I put that on the list and that was another Plexus moment for me. I actually learned that Plexus had some other products that could help me with that. And so I did that. So we lost the last 15 that was between. Let's see, I think it was March that that was gone. So that that got checked off. And then there are two things still on the list, but they're a tentative thing, I suppose. Well, not. Not really. One of the things is an absolute. Right. So my boyfriend and I have been together for four years and I know that we are going to be married. But I put that on the list because it was on Jennifer's list. She's like, where are you going to get married? So that's on the list. But I am not. I tell people all the time I'm not. I'm not on the ring to Biddy. I'm not. That's above me. So I'm leaving all that up to him. That's in his timing, and I want him to be completely comfortable when he asks. Okay, so there's that. And then the last thing on the list. I actually am going to share this. So I don't have any children, and Jennifer has three, and my older sister has two. And so Jenny used to always say, it's not fair. You know, she's like, you have to give us at least one. And so I put that on the list. Although that one is a. It's a. If it happens, great. If it doesn't happen, great. Because at this point, I am 41 years old and I am perfectly happy in life, so I can go either way on that. But it is on the list.

So great. It's so amazing when you're able to just get into that moment like you did, where you're just realizing how important it is to do the things that you want when you're opening yourself up and surrendering to yourself the things that you're okay not having too. I think that's great. Well, I'd love to hear what your number one piece of advice is for the listeners on doing the thing.

Okay. My number one piece of advice on doing the thing is take imperfect action. That's my number one piece of advice. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just do it. Jump out there, try it, and if it's imperfect, you can clean it up a little bit later. It's fine. But just. Just do it. Just jump out there and do it.

And what would your advice be to someone that maybe hasn't done a do the thing challenge yet and what they could gain from it?

My license. Stop waiting and come on. We're here. Come do the thing with us. I think, honestly, the community is probably the best thing that I have gotten out of that challenge. I love getting messages from people who were in the challenge with me, and they're just like, hey, just checking on you, or, hey, I saw such and such on your post on your wall. And just on my regular Facebook page. Right. Because we're friends now. And so they'll send messages and they're encouraging me to do things that are not related to our challenge, but we're encouraging each other to do all the things, and I love that. So I would definitely encourage anyone who hasn't done it. Come for the challenge, stay for the community.

Yeah, it's amazing because when you surround yourself with people that are action takers, right, and they're wanting to do the thing, then you just get this immediate connectedness with them because they're wanting the same thing as you.

Very true, very true. It's one of your M's, and I'm game. Right. My people. I found my people and I love it.

Oh, my gosh. I mean, it's incredible just being able to talk to you and having you in the community is just such a. A beautiful gift for so many people, because I feel like you bring such an amazing warmth and light and fun to the group.

I appreciate that. I really do.

And please share where everyone can buy your children's book. And then if there's any other place that they can follow along with you, I'd love to have you share that, too.

Yeah, absolutely. So the book is on Amazon and it is called On Account of Billy T, written by me, Jocelyn Johnson. And so you can find that there. And if you want to follow along with me, let's see. I'm all over social media. I am on Instagram as Jossa Lynn, so it's J O S S A underscore, L, Y N E. And I'm on Facebook as Jocelyn Latrice Johnson, and I'm also on Facebook as Read with Jocelyn. So you can find me there for some Princess Sunshine stuff.

All right, well, thanks again.

I appreciate it, and thank you so much.

And for the listeners, do the thing, don't wait for opportunity, create it.