Episode 278: Vickie Nevins: How to Say Yes to Opportunities and Transform Your Life

Hey, everyone.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, these are the moments that I love when I get to bring the do the Thing community members on and celebrate them for the amazing accomplishments that they have done through the community before, after, and all the things that I get to see and learn about them. And that's who our next guest is. She's someone that I met during the Start a Podcast challenge. Started her podcast. She was also in the Go Live challenge. She actually is the one that untapped the ability for all of us to learn restreaming during that challenge and actually did a zoom with me and showed me exactly how to get it to work. And just as a very giving, fully generous person. And when you guys get to hear her story, you are going to be moved and inspired to go out and do something today because it's such an encouraging, inspiring story that you don't hear every day. And so I'm just so excited to be able to talk to her and get to know her better and have you guys learned from her as well. So I am welcoming Vicki to the show. Hey, Vicki.

Hey, Stacy. Thanks for having me today.

Yeah, thanks so much for coming. It's so cool because it's been a year, almost a year, and I'm just glad that we're able to do this.

Yeah, we're coming up on a year in April. I think it is exactly. Such a cool year.

So good.

So much fun.

Oh, I'm glad. Yeah, that's kind of the key of all the stuff in the community is I always make sure, because I think a lot of people are missing that, that piece of fun. And I love that you said that because that's one of my big reasons why I like to do what I'm doing, is for the fun aspect.

I have a thing that is, if we're not having fun, why are we doing it? I'm this many years old and I can choose to do things whatever I want, and I choose fun. If it's not fun, I'm not. I'm done.

Well, I'd love you to share with the listeners about you and your story.

Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? Where would you like me to begin? Because this is a big story.

Yeah. So why don't you give us an idea of just what you've overcome from just even the more recent, like the health stuff, and then we could kind of see where it goes from there. Because I feel like there's a lot there that can really help people Kind of see what's possible for them.

Sure. I grew up in the Midwest, a child of the. I was born in the 50s, raised in the 60s, survived the 70s, on and on. But I come from an abused childhood and have been an entrepreneur, solopreneur and a working preneur with my husband for the last 40 some years. 45. Didn't realize I'd been in business that long until just this year in this discovery that we've been doing is like, oh yeah, I guess I have been in business forever. But in 2019, I held a women's conference and I said 2020 would be a year like none other. And I said it'd be the year of the woman. Not half of it, right, but I really do think it was the year of the woman. And it was a year of like none other. I had Covid at the very end of 2019 before it had a name. And then I had it again at the end of 2020. And from there the next three months was a rapid decline. And I had a stroke in 2021 of March. Lost my entire left side.

Had to rebuild from there. Speaking, walking, talking, all of those things. Learning how to feed myself again. And for the longest time I had a. What felt like when you go to the dentist, a cotton swab stuck in your mouth where you couldn't talk. So I was constantly talking around that. And so anyway, I'm pretty much 90 some percent. I still have some residuals from that. And then 2023, I was diagnosed with cancer. No, 2022, I was diagnosed with cancer. 2023, I broke my ankle and lost my mom in the same month. So here I am, I'm having fun. Anyway, in spite of everything, you just keep moving in, moving forward. My philosophy is say yes to opportunities. And that's how we met.

Yeah, and let's talk about that, because that was one of the things that I think I enjoyed is not the right word, but just was in awe of you is just always your attitude and the way that you approach things and just getting to see these things that you've walked through and being able to come on the other side of it. I'd love to. Well, we could talk about your podcast, but then also talk about how you have actually walked through this stuff. Because I think there's a lot of people that when any of that, like an inkling that could have happened, I mean, you're going to be sitting on the TV couch and watching TV and.

Being like, okay, I'm good. Right. Start numbing or something.

So I'm just kind of curious what that process was like for you.

Hard. Hard. The first bout of COVID wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. I mean, I had long haulers for the entire year. So much like my amplified version of my autoimmune challenge that I've had for many, many decades. And that's another part of my journey as well. But we'll just skim over that anyway. I have a lot of health issues that I've overcome through experience. And then when I had the second bout, it was hard. And after the COVID as my body started turning on itself, it started robbing me of oxygen. So just to get up to go to the restroom would take me. I'd have to gear up for 15, 20 minutes to get there, and then I'd have to take a nap about one to two hours afterward. And then I had my stroke in March. And when they were putting me in the ambulance, the lady emt, she was so fabulous. She just said, your first hour is important. It's the most important. And then the second hour and then 24 hours. And she was talking about how I just needed to look at those milestones. And I said, that's what I tell my girls. And she said, your daughters? And I said, no, that's who I, you know, the ladies that I coach because I am an entrepreneurial coach and business consultant, and that's what I tell the ladies. And I focus on women entrepreneurs, keep moving forward one foot at a time. And that was before the stroke. And it was like, oh, my gosh, I'm coaching myself. Is what dawned on me in the ambulance is I had to keep moving forward because what else is there? It's either life or death. And I did not want to go that way. And so, little by little that night, after getting the shot that was supposed to help you with the stroke, I realized I could move my toes. So I started doing that. I mean, they took such great care of me. And I realized, okay, I could do this and this. And so I started moving what I could move. And so by the next morning, even though I couldn't move my arms when I got in there, by the next morning, I was able to raise my arm up. When the neurosurgeon came in to meet me three days later, I was in rehab. Eleven days later, I walked out of the rehab on my own tower. They said they haven't seen me by do that type of self motivation before. And it's like, when you're faced with either do it or don't you find the energy to do it?

Wow.

Yeah. Anyway, I do it, you know?

Yeah. Either do it or don't. And then you find the energy to do it. I love that because those are your options. Right? Stop staying stuck. It's like, just decide. Do you want to do it? Yes, I want to do it. If you don't, then don't. But don't stay in that middle place. I love that.

Yeah. Yeah. Because the lady across the hall from me, they came to get her for therapy the same time they'd come get me physical and occupational therapy, and she wouldn't participate. And they were trying to coax her and beg her and all types of ways to get her to participate. And all I could think of is, I can't stay. Here I am right now. I'm in a wheelchair and I'm beginning to use a walker. I can't do this. I need to keep moving to overcome it while I can before it becomes a thing. I'm going to outrun whatever is coming at me. Wow.

What would you advise other people? And I know you do this with your clients, but other people that are going through a challenge and it's hard, and they just don't see the way out yet, how do they get unstuck?

It's kind of like the old thing of how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? What can you do? Let's find the one thing you can do and let's build from there. What can you do? Where is the one positive thing that you can focus on? And let's build from there. Let's find the positive. Even a world full of dark, there's got to be something. You're breathing. Let's have some fun breathing. Let's do something.

Yeah, it's true.

Right.

Because I think that's what I love about do the thing and being able to do the things that I'm doing. It's like giving that one little piece. Right. Just to get someone to move an inch. And then once you do, then you can move the other inch. And I think so many people, they're thinking of the big goal, and that's so overwhelming. And that's why they can't move, because it's too far. And I really like that language around just kind of, what's the easiest, safest thing to do to start, and then you can kind of keep going.

Absolutely. Because when I'm doing my coaching with my vision boards and the accountability and the other. The One on one coaching that I do. Instead of going, well, where do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in 10 years? When people ask me that is like, I freeze, I paralyze. And it's like, I can't make a decision from there. I can't think. But where do I want to be next month? I can tell you that. I can tell you 30, 60, 90 days, and that's what I help pull out. Where are you now? What do you like doing? So let's figure it out together. Yeah, that's what I like about working with you. It's like we just take a little piece and we start nipping on that one. And if it's the right piece, we keep going. Otherwise, we go grab some more pieces, and some of them fit together, some don't, but we use the ones that work. Yeah.

I still remember that during the Go Live challenge, when we had just learned about going live. And then I think. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but all of a sudden I was wanting to try that Restream, and you were like, oh, I can help you. And then all of a sudden, you kind of unlock this whole thing. And then you saw us go crazy using Restream after that.

Yeah, it's a bits and pieces. Just build on it. Yeah. And that's playing with the Instagram, too.

Yeah, that's what it is.

It's.

And I noticed that during that. That podcast challenge, it's. Once you unlock, and that's what you did for me, you unlock that little piece. Right. That is maybe keeping you stuck. And then everything opens up. It's like a waterfall, really. And that's what happened when you started seeing it after that. Everyone's restreaming. Right. All of a sudden. And the same thing with the podcast. If I could unlock some technical piece, then all of a sudden, they had 20 episodes within a couple weeks. It was just such a fast process because it just unlocked the one thing.

Right? Exactly. And it's fun to be able to share that with people who get excited and emerge from there and keep building. It's just fun to do. It's fun to unravel. Stuck.

Yeah. Okay, so tell us about your podcast and what it's about and who you like to interview too.

It's badass women, those in training. And I love to ask, are you a badass, Stacy, or are you in training?

So is that what it is then? It's so funny. I don't think I realized. So are you interviewing both.

Yes, I.

Have conversations, unique conversations with extraordinary, ordinary women. Basically, if you're this far in life, you've had to overcome challenges. I don't know anybody who has not. And we figure out what it took to go over those challenges or we. I don't dwell on the challenge because that's where we were, and here's where we are and where we're going. I like to find out where they're going and what they're wanting to do, and I like to find out where they're at in both realms of what they've overcome, the badassery, and then what they're in training about. Because you're both in the same day.

Have you learned anything from the people that you've interviewed that are kind of the common things that you see over and over again?

I have. What's really neat is that every one of the ladies that I've interviewed have come to realize that they are both in training and a badass at the same time. And the resilience that they have, and they just figure it out. They don't stop to figure things out. They just keep doing. They just do the thing, Whatever that is that they have to do that day, and they move toward their passion and find their purpose as they're doing that, regardless of whether they're stuck in a job that they hate or whatever they're overcoming and they're raising families and all of those things. The resilience that I find in all of these ladies that I've interviewed is just so fun. And to watch them realize some of the badassery that they have when they're talking to me, like Jocelyn with her Princess Sunshine.

Oh, my gosh, it's so good when you are able to see something in someone that maybe they haven't seen yet, and you're able to bring that out and just. Even a podcast interview sometimes, yeah, it is fun.

Most of the ladies that I've interviewed, we just get to talking. I do a conversation before we go live to find out a little bit about them, because I'm not scripted whatsoever. I don't like scripts. I'll do some fun questions that I may have based on what I learned about them ahead of time. And then I have a few things that I like to ask. I like to ask who does the dishes and take out the trash at their home? Who does laundry? Because some of the ladies, they've done some very extraordinary things, but they're very ordinary at home. And so who still does the dishes? And that's funny. To hear how that happens. It's breaking that down to where it's very approachable to everybody.

It's good when you do that, because I feel like sometimes when people are seeing someone that's doing the thing, it's hard for them to relate. So then they can't imagine actually being able to do it right. It's too far away from where they are. But if you're able to kind of break it down with this relatable, ordinary stuff, then it almost shows the vision of, oh, they're human too. I guess that. Why couldn't I do it also? They're just like me.

Exactly. I learned that back in the day when I was doing drug sales. It's a sales model, I think, is wonderful for a lot of people, especially women who are wanting to do something while they're raising children and have a purpose beyond being mom, which that's a huge thing anyway. But they want to also maintain being a person. And so I learned that if you're nervous, you channel that into excitement and you channel in. All the ordinary is very approachable. Once you break it down into little pieces, it's no longer hard and unachievable. And you can find the ways to find those little pieces one at a time.

So we talked about fun. I'd love to hear how you incorporate fun into your everyday life.

I do what I want.

For the most part. I do. I do what I want. Well, my husband and I have been together for 45, 46 years, and we have just fun being around each other. And we go do things that a lot of other people aren't able to go do because of the way we started life. We were 14 years in before we had kids being married. And then so I was 35 and I had my first kid. But we find things to do that we like to do. I mean, we find the fun in a lot of things. I don't think we were put here to be miserable. I just don't. And that's part of my faith that I believe that we were not put here to be miserable. And so we need to fulfill that, because it's a gift. It's a gift every day to be here. I mean, if you wake up, that's a gift. And if you can do something with it, then you're giving part of your gift. And so we've traveled and we've traveled from coast to coast as truck drivers in the very beginning of our lives together. And then we raised children. And then now that the kids are gone and we're empty nesters. We are traveling again in an rv, so I do my podcast on my rv, but it's in the shop right now being rejuvenated. So I'm at my daughter's house now. We find things that we like to do and deal with them.

I love to kind of go a little deeper, if that's okay. Where you were talking earlier in the beginning about kind of coming through an abused childhood. And I know there's a lot of people that are listening that have gone through something that's traumatic, hard, all the things that can come up when you hear that. And I'm just wondering, how did you not stay there and how did you actually come through it? And then I have another question, which maybe I'll ask it separately. But do you think that also helped you when you went through the stroke, that experience too?

Sure. It's one of those things that it stays with you. You don't ever get rid of it. It's always there. But you survive that day and survive the next. You survive that day, so you need to survive the next. And that's just. That's how I approach everything is no matter how hard it is, I got through this part of it. I can get through the rest. Yeah, I'm still alive.

So. Yeah.

It's almost like your just overall attitude about things is you've flexed this muscle of being able to recover and overcome. So why wouldn't you just keep doing that every time something happens?

Absolutely. I've bounced back so many times my middle names were ever banned.

You just. Humor. Humor is my gift from God. You have to approach everything with humor. That's what gets me through everything. Find the fun, the funny, the ironic, and plow through. Just go right through it.

Yeah. And you mentioned now you're coaching women entrepreneurs and then you also have a community of people. Can you share a little bit more about that too?

Sure. I have two communities. I have the badass women and those in training. They don't necessarily have to be in business. Then I have the Chamber of Women Entrepreneurs that I founded from an endeavor that I started in 2007. But I've been coaching people since 1987. But I started focusing on women in the late 2008. 0, 9, 10, thereabouts. And the chamber of Women Entrepreneurs is designed for women who are in business to help women in business, women empowerment in all levels of life. And I have the Chamber of Women Entrepreneurs dot com. It's the membership where women can share their profile, their business. And I'VE got a lot of things coming from that as well. And you can find it on social media, on all of them. Same with the badass women of those in training. But not all women who are in business want to be identified as a badass, even though they are. You can't get through business and not be a badass. But not everybody wants to identify with that name. But that strength is still there. And I like to help spotlight women who have overcome all the obstacles that it takes to be where they are and to keep going into their vision. Because when they can get to their vision, then they realize that's not over. There's more vision, and it just keeps dominoing and, you know, the ebb and flow of everything, it just keeps going and it pours out. So I'd like to make a difference for them, I like to say, for you, for your business, for your community. Because my whole goal started out as changing the face of networking one connection at a time. Because I was told I couldn't do it. Because when I saw someone on stage when I was in direct sales, and I thought, man, she is inspiring and motivating all these ladies in this room. I want to do that. I want to help others get to where they want to go. And I thought, man, I don't have enough experience for that. So that's when I decided to get experience without just going and getting degrees and saying, I'm a coach. I went and got the experience so that I can help bring people to their reality. The reality and the vision together, merging it forward and just sharing that forward. Because that's how you change the world. One person at a time, one episode at a time, one conversation at a time. Changing the face of networking and how women relate to one another, rather than the mean girls stuff. Yeah.

You're really describing how you kind of tap into your calling in a way. Right. It's kind of like looking at that experience that was the most disappointing for you, and it really hit you. And then now you're able to actually flip the script on it and help people overcome it.

Right. When I said to one lady, go. I said, I want to do that, because she helps people get there to that level. And she looked at me and she.

Chuckled and she said, how nice.

And I thought, I'm not going to let anybody else feel like that. Nope. If I can prevent that, that's my. My goal is to make everybody realize that, boom. You are enough. You are enough. Take what you have. Get up and go. Just go. If it's not the right direction. Turn around. It's okay. It's not a life or death thing. Unless you're having to get through something, but you just keep going.

Okay, Vicki, you've already shared great advice, but I'm so curious. What is your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing?

Say yes to opportunities when they present themselves. Say yes. Not every opportunity is going to be one of these things that's life altering and you have to do it forever. Some of them may be just for a day to say yes. Some of the challenges you presented, it was like a five minute challenge. Five minutes. Come on, you can do five minutes. Okay, I did. I did five minutes. It didn't kill me. What was the shirt that said, did you die? Right. I didn't.

And so all of those things were like, yes, I can do five minutes. I can do 10 minutes. I could do those bits and pieces, though. And I just love that whole idea for people to come to the realization that if I say yes to this opportunity and then maybe five minutes or five years from now, I don't like that and I've invested all this into it. I'm a failure. No, that's the milestone it took you to get to this new opportunity to be prepared, to be open for it.

That is such amazing advice. I actually noticed this with the podcast challenge because I had a lot of people at first say they didn't want to start a podcast. And then I remember just saying, at least do 10 episodes and see how you feel. And then you could always stop the podcast because it's free anyway. Starting a podcast is free in terms.

Of on the platform.

And I remember a lot of people started their podcasts after that. And I'm doing the same thing now with that new thing I'm doing with the community, where I think the community is a lever to an entire online platform. And so there's some people that are also not thinking they want a community, but I'm like, can you imagine? Just imagine that this turns in and it brings whatever you're doing to life and then you don't need to keep the community. That's a starting point. Or you decide you keep it. And I love that because it's the whole it doesn't have to be forever thing. And actually that's how do the things started. I've looked back. I think you saw that post where I said, I'm starting a temporary group, and I forgot that I was even thinking that way. But it's so true, where you don't even know where it's going to go unless you try it. And then knowing it can end and not treating it like it's a failure actually looking at whatever that time is you spent on it as a success.

I think we take ourselves too seriously often. Way too often. I think if like you said, if we go into it with a light hearted adventure and we're not so life and deathy, it's not so scary. If we can just go in with that idea of let's just go try it out, let's go have some fun, what can that hurt? And then look where we go.

Yeah. Okay. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you wish I asked you?

That's a good question. I don't know. I just encourage people to just say yes. Opportunities. That's the thing. That's my whole thing is say yeah, just try and please share where people.

Can follow you again just in case they missed it in the beginning.

Okay. The podcast is badass. Loan of those in YouTube and Spotify and it channels out through various ones as I keep adding those in the time that we have. I have at least 10 episodes out right now and I've got like 20 that I'm editing and putting out there, putting the intro and the outro. I try to keep all the conversations normal. I don't change things. I just cut out the and but my whole goal is to keep everything under 24 minutes in conversation with then plus the intro outro. So I it's not mind boggling. And then chamber of womanentrepreneurs.com or on all those social medias and if you have a business and you're a female business owner, put your business on there, you can get a free listing. What does that hurt? What does it hurt to have me advertise for you?

Well, thanks so much for coming on. It's so wonderful knowing you and I appreciate your contribution and support to me and the community. I feel like you've just been this radiating piece for the group since you've started with us. So I appreciate that so much.

Well, thank you. I love hanging out in the sandbox with you.

And for you guys, do the thing, don't wait for opportunity, create it. And hey, have you checked out my free Facebook group yet? Go to dothethingcommunity. Com.