Episode 295: Jarrad Walker: Mr. Intentional on Embracing Life's Challenges

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, I love these kinds of episodes because by me doing the thing, I get to just meet the coolest people who are doing the thing, too. And if I didn't get out of my own vacuum or box of the things that I'm doing and I didn't expand and meet new people and go to these events and sign up for new things, then I would miss out on these beautiful opportunities of being able to meet the people that I've been able to meet. And so my guest that's coming on now that you guys are going to get to meet is the perfect example of that. From the moment we met, I saw him on a zoom. It was this immediate just, oh, my gosh, who are you and what are you doing? Because you're changing the world, and I want to be a part of that. And then we got to meet in person and just getting to see him and even met my daughter, and it was just a really beautiful way of him just. I don't know, the word is enveloping me into his fold of the world. And so I'm just excited to get to talk to him and have you guys meet him as well. So I am welcoming Jared to the show. Hey, Jared.

Hey.

Such an amazing introduction.

I'm so excited that you're here. We get to really dive into your story. I'm so excited for this because I feel like I've gotten glimpses of what you're doing, but to have this intentional time and space where we can really get to know each other is just super exciting.

I'm trying to contain myself. I really am. I'm. I'm going to jump out of my skin and just be screaming and everything. I'm super excited. Thank you for the privilege and opportunity.

Well, why don't we start off and let's have you share your story.

My story? My story? My story. What story? I mean, there's more than one, but.

Would you like to hear the story as it pertains to how I became who I am, as it pertains to the individual that is known for just being Mr. Intentional and all of that. That story.

I would love that. Yeah. I also want to hear if you had to overcome struggles to be the person that you are, because I think a lot of people see the finished version. Right. They could see you now and be like, I could never be like Jared because he's too blank. Right. And so the more that we can tap into that piece that made you where you are. I think that's going to help people really kind of understand that this is possible for everyone.

Yeah, I definitely get that. There are two major pieces to the story of Jared and to be honest with you, Jared Walker. Jared Andre Walker, as the kids used to call me at the middle school. I used to do after school program, coach jaw.

And I am literally a husband, I'm a father of three and I take my life intentionally. And the reason for that, the story behind it, I've said it so many times, is just it started with death. Just to be honest with you, it didn't begin with life, it began with death. Some people say that the opposite of living is dying when that's not true. The opposite of living is death. Because something that's dying has to be alive in order to even die. It started with death. For me one day I was. It was 2017. I was on the phone with my dad. We were talking and having a good conversation. Haha, Kiki, early in the morning, sneaking on the phone, by the way, I'm not supposed to be on the phone at all. I'm supposed to be working and not talking. But I end up taking a phone call as I typically do for my dad. And we were having a conversation that led to him saying something. I said, wait a minute. He said, speak of the devil. The person that he was talking about, his wife ends up calling him. You ever had a situation in life where you didn't know that that was actually a turning point so pivotal, so critical, you had no idea what was about to happen? Where you wish you could kind of go back and make some adjustments, not do anything differently, but just kind of perceive the moment appropriately. Well, you don't know what you don't know. And there are things you don't know that you don't know you don't know. But what I didn't know was when he said, hold on real quick, let me take this real quick. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just talked to you later. Because he was planning to turn click back over. I said, I'll just talk to you later. He said, you sure? I said, yeah. He said, all right, boy. Love you. I said, I love you too. He clicked over. Six hours later, I get a phone call and another phone call and another phone call and another phone call. What is going on? It's Facebook messenger being blown up and it's my stepsister and she's speaking. You ever seen that T mobile commercial back in the day with the little Girl, she was cheerleading, I guess. And she just spoke really fast.

All of that. You think she's doing a bidding war or something? Well, unfortunately, it wasn't a bidding war. It was her trying to find the ways in the word to express to me that she found my dad on the side of the bed, unresponsive.

And because of that, I had it in my mind that, hey, there's a chance that he might be gone, but he may not be. I don't know. But if it's his time, it's his time. You ever believe something until you realize you didn't believe that? Well, that's what happened. I ended up holding on to, hey, I hope he's okay. But if it's his time, it's his time. And on the way home, I get a phone call, and it's from his wife. And she says, baby, what you doing?

I said, I'm driving. What's up? Trying to play it cool. She says, I need you to pull over.

And it was at that moment I made a decision to be bold and just ask the question. I don't know. I just took a deep breath.

And I asked, is he dead, Taj?

She said, yeah, baby, I lost it. I shattered, I broke, and I never returned to being the same. Because they say the truth sets you free. Well, I believe the truth sets you free, but that means a lie sets you up. And I set myself up for failure because I didn't know that I was going to respond the way that I responded when I got the truth. Because one thing about the truth is you can't unhear it. And when I heard those words that my dad was no longer with us, it's just I didn't know how to do and what to do and why to do. I just literally lost my mind. By the grace of God, I made it home safely. And I don't know how I literally couldn't see. It was just that right there was a pivotal, changing, transformative moment for me. Because the person that I became, once I got put back together, never return to being the same. And it is for the better. But there are certain pains that you must experience in life that produces a perspective that is going to be useful for the masses, not just the man or woman in the mirror.

Yeah, I totally hear you. Because it's like you have to have lost, right? To be able to almost.

Wake up and call it the feather, the brick, or the semi truck, right. In order to make a change. And when the semi truck comes, it's like there's nowhere else that you could go. And I'm sorry for your loss. And just. I'm so. I don't know. I feel so. The word is privileged right now. Just privileged to be able to hear this story and know that now you're able to take that. Right. And that's what's powering you to be able to do the things that you're doing now.

Yeah. Because had that not happened, I wouldn't understand the impact and importance of intentionality. See, if it weren't for the experience that I just explained, then I wouldn't comprehend the importance of being intentional as a father. Because, remember, I told you, there's two pieces, two major pieces. In 2020, while everybody was focused on Covid, I was stuck in the bed, unable to move because I had a back injury. And that initiated in January of 2020. So when I got into the situation that I entered into, unbeknownst that it was gonna happen, it just happened. I'm like, what in the world's going on? It just happened. There are things in life that just happened. Well, that happened after hearing so many things from my wife as she was expressing and explaining how she needed help, she needed assistance, she was literally getting tired. And because our two little ones at the time, there were a lot, we homeschooled. And it wasn't until I was actually in the bed reflecting on my life, what am I going to do? I can't take care of my family like I used to. And I hear her in the other room going off because the kids are not following instructions. And that's when it hit me. I said, you've been failing. You've been failing as a father, you've been failing as a husband, you've been failing as a friend, you've been failing. And you don't have to do this anymore because you know what the outcome could be. See, there's no guarantee that your children are going to get a last conversation with you over the phone. If you're not intentional now, you're not going to get a chance to backtrack and be intentional later. It doesn't work that way. So in 2020, that was the year that the whole identity of being the if, because I knew I'm in the bed, don't know what's going to happen with me and everything yet. I remember when my father passed away, I didn't see that coming. So who's to say that I am not going to potentially be in a situation where my children had to reflect on a person that was not intentional. I don't want to be that. I don't need to be that. And that's when things changed. The change. The transformation literally came from pain. And the version of me had to die. That did not need to be. And that was the unintentional father that I was being. Unintentionally. So being the if is what was birthed out of that, being the if. Intentional father, intentional family, intentional friendship, and being intentional about your faith, because what you believe is what you will portray. So if you hold fast to something, you better act like it and believe it and behave according to it, because it's only then that you can be intentional about your fitness and your finances being whole and short. So that's the nutshell of that story. And ever since then, I. Life has been being what it has been, but at the same time, I wouldn't have it any other way.

So what do you think? For you, specifically? And then how to help other people when you're wanting to now change, Right. They're hearing this story, and it's like, okay, yeah, I get it. I want that too. Right? And be able to live with intentionality. What do you think is the first step for someone to be able to do that? And also, what did you do? How did you. All of a sudden, there's the moment when you're like, okay, I need to make a change. I don't want my kids to see me this way. I want to be able to live with intention. What was that first thing you were able to do?

Honestly, it wasn't just that. I looked at this bill and I saw that we had been spending so much money at Starbucks, it is unacceptable. So that.

That's funny. It was not what I was expecting anything.

We had just come from an anniversary, a celebration out in Galveston. We went to Galveston island, and unfortunately, Hurricane Imelda spoiled every plan that I had prepared for, literally. You ever had plans you like? I got it all the way down to a T. All T's, all I's, dotted. Yeah. No. So my wife and I were avid coffee drinkers. We big time. So when I saw this bill of how much money we were reviewing over the previous year of how much money we've been spending on coffee, I said, never again. You're out your mind. It's embarrassing to tell you how much. I said, no, we're not doing this. So it started with reflecting. Reflecting on the past. It's in the past that I believe you find your power, your ability, your skills, and your time. So the decision that I made was to not repeat certain behaviors, but I had to first reflect. I literally had to self assess. I had to look at who it was I had become. I genuinely stand by be, do, have, give, receive. I've heard Myron golden say be, do, have. I heard it from Zig Ziglar first. But at the end of the day, it's be the person that does the thing, then you actually have to do it. You can't hide. You got to do it.

Yeah.

After you do it or do the thing, then you'll have the fruit of that labor. And you can't give what you don't have. So based off of what you are producing, based off of what you're doing, you will give according to what you have. And then after that, you receive in response to what you're giving based on the law of reciprocity, of reaping and sowing. So I realized that if I didn't like what I was receiving, especially for my wife or my kids, I had to check what I was giving. If I didn't like what I was giving, I had to check what I had, Inventory, like, what do I have, what do I own? And then if I didn't like what I had, which I didn't, I had to check what I was doing. And if I didn't like what I was doing, I had to look at the man in the mirror at that time because who I had become was responsible for it all. I had to literally reflect and self assess. That was the first step.

Yeah. It's so huge. I feel like this should be step one in relationship management, regardless of who you're with. Because it's so easy to go into that, oh, they're not doing this, or I'm not getting this, but you're actually looking inside and you're like, wait, what am I giving first? I feel like that should be taught everywhere. Honestly, I love the way you just said that because it's so simple to just start with that.

Yeah, self awareness is definitely key. It's critical and it's pivotal. But that was the first step. And then how did I do it? I asked for help. I knew better than try to tackle that by myself. Doing it by myself got me where I was at and I didn't like it. So I had to literally ask for help. And I. I didn't like the help I was receiving. But that is because when it's good assistance, sometimes it's counterintuitive to what you're used to doing. So I asked questions. I got genuine, and I literally. We're not talking figurative. I literally had gotten to a point once I healed up and all that, because this wasn't overnight. Oh, no. Oh, no. So much happened. Oh, my goodness. But I had got to a place where I looked in the mirror, and my wife is in the bathroom with me. And I said, do you see him? She said, yeah. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. Him. Okay. You see him, right? She's like, yeah. I said, okay, now look at me in real life. Okay. I said, you see the mirror. You see me. I said, do I really look like that? She said, yeah, babe. I said, but that person looks confident. That person looks responsible, respectful, powerful. That person looks like somebody I want to be. She said, that's what I've been seeing in you since I met you. Congratulations. You're finally starting to see you for who you are. And I'm like. But I don't feel that way, because I still felt like I was failing. And she gave me some reassurance, and I had to ask others for that, because sometimes you need to hear the truth more than once for it to echo through the heart and actually make its way to the mind. For you to accept that you have been blind and now you can see. But that'll mean you understand what you're looking at. Yeah.

Wow. So how do you think you've been able to overcome that? Like, really step into who you are and being able to see the person that you're seeing in the mirror now?

Ooh. Good question. Great question. You, Stacey, you're amazing. Yeah, I honestly, it's a cliche response, coaching. I went through multiple coaching programs, and I literally got into communities that were making me aware of things I didn't even know I didn't know. And as I grew, and then, unfortunately, things happened. Certain communities got shut down. I saw it coming. But I noticed every community that I got into, no matter how big, I. I always stood out, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. But because I stood out, I was like, okay. I can't just ask questions and expect people just to be like, okay, cool. Congratulations. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's always the, whoa. Did he just say that and then spotlight me? Mind you, this is during the COVID season, so this is all on zoom. So I'm in this room with however many people, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I just had to get used to being the person that people want to hear, because I always thought I talked too much, but when I stopped talking, they said, why you stop? I thought I was saying to him and said, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have permission to keep going. Please don't stop. I had to accept it because this wasn't just virtual. When people came back in person, it was then, too. It's like the person that I become is someone that everyone wants to hear. And when I say everyone, I mean every person I came into contact with. And I literally just had to accept what my experiences were for what they were, rather than trying to read deeply into them, like, dude, people want to hear you. That's just what it is. They want to hear you accept it. Stop denying it. I wasn't hiding, clearly, because I was running my mouth, but people wanted to hear what I had to say. And it was through that being in different communities, getting the same responses from people that didn't even know each other and accepting that, hey, if you want to do something, then you need to go and do it. So I went through, got some courses, got good on camera, got great with my audio, and I produce music. That's part of what I do. So I already had the equipment, but it was literally being intentional about the skills that I was developing, the mindset I was developing, and the tools that I was acquiring. And it took time. And I'm still not where I would love to be, but I am where I would like to be at the moment.

How do you think the coaching and the communities helped you kind of see yourself better? Do you think there was any specific big kind of lessons that you learned that you've been able to apply?

Oh, yeah. One of the biggest lessons is that my teachers weren't lying to me when I was a kid. And the reason I say that is most people have these stories of where the teacher's always telling them what they can't do. You'll never amount to anything. You're not this, not me. I was the kid who stayed in trouble, did not want to be in the school system. I hated it with all my heart. And I would literally be the person I was that kid. I stayed in the principal's office, but I didn't just go to the principal's office. They sent me to the hallway first, and I'd be waiting for them to come out. And they would tell me, teachers that different grade levels and all of that stuff, especially high school.

They come outside, I'm like, what? Jared? Look, what you said was true, but you can't say that in front of the class, you will cause anarchy. Like, what? I will be told that I was right for what I said. I just should not have said it. And I heard that so many times from teachers that had nothing to do with each other. It's like, oh, wow.

I am someone that knows what they're talking about to the point where people connect and they comprehend and they understand exactly what I'm saying. But you got to tone down the timing of what you speak and what you say. So that eloquence had to be developed. And in the coaching that I was receiving, I got the same stuff. I'm not gonna lie, Stacy. It kind of irritated me for a while because all I would hear is, jared, you got it. I just paid you a lot of money just for me to get to the end of the certification and you to tell me privately, jared, you got it. Look, all these other stuff I went through speaking certifications and all types of stuff, and then I kept hearing the same thing. I got multiple certifications, psychometrics with intermetrics, and all of that stuff. And they would tell me, dude, hold on. We don't boost anyone's ego around here. That's not what we do. But I just want to tell you, this guy right here, Jared Walker. Oh, my goodness. Dude, you got it. You have exited the matrix. I'm like, why is everyone telling me I got it when I don't feel like I got it? And the last person to say it and I just finally got it was Eileen Wilder. When she said, jared.

You could sell to anyone, she's like, no, seriously, I'm not just saying that. She said, you're, like a secret weapon. I was like, what? When she expressed what she was telling me in person and over the Internet and all, it's just like the connections were made. Like.

You got it. And what the it is is subjective to whoever needs whatever it is that they need from you specifically, you already have it. You got it, Jared. Accept that and understand that you've been searching from all of these people for answers that you already had. You just had to accept it.

And for those of you listening, Eileen Wilder is both of our mentors. That's how we met through her program. And she has this really special ability to see in you what's inside of you. And then when she's able to verbalize it, I guess it's from her background being a pastor, there's something of the way she is able to articulate it. You feel it deeply, right? And you're like, oh, that's actually me that she's talking about.

Yeah. When we were at the workshop is when she was like, just go be you. And I was like, just be me. That's it? Yes. Okay, I just gotta go be me. And then she had to tell me one more time until I finally got it.

What advice would you give to someone that might be struggling with that? Cause I feel like so many of us struggle whether we heard it from people that were the opposite or whatever. But how do you really help someone kind of tap into just being comfortable being themselves?

Ooh, great question. I use a framework that I created. It's called Vibe. That's how I literally assess myself. Your vibe is going to be your values, your intentions, your beliefs, your expectations, and that's the person that you become. The person that you become is doing some stuff, though. This is where the virtues, identities, boundaries, and etiquette have to be taken into consideration. If we can't vibe together, we can't thrive together. Well, if I can't vibe with the man in the mirror, or you can't vibe with the woman in the mirror, then something is out of alignment. That means there isn't harmony, there's chaos. So the way that I do that is I do a vibe check. Like, hey, what do you value right now, Jared? Are you acting like it? I. Are you intentional about how you are valuing it? What do you believe? Have you questioned them? Don't just believe something just because you were told and taught that from a child and adolescent. You literally have to accept the fact that there are things you need to question to understand. If it stands for what it's supposed to be, and it truly is, then you will grow in not only hope and faith in that thing, but you will also become the person that does the thing that actually shows proof and evidence that you believe what you say you do. Because you will behave according to what you believe. And then the expectations, what are you thinking about futuristically? Like, I understand if your attention is something in front of you, your attention and intention go hand in hand. But your expectations, those are also your intentions. But if you're out of alignment, you're operating in chaos at any time. I'm not operating within my vibe. I know for sure I'm out of alignment. So this is that self assessment, like, hey, are you compromising unintentionally? Are you intentional about what you're saying and doing? Because if not, listen, an intention is just a purpose and an idea by definition. An intention is what you intend to do. What you purpose to do what you will, to do what you desire to do. So if that is the idea is literally synonymous with idea. An idea is the result of thinking. Thinking, by definition, is imagining or calculating. So that means that your ideas or your intentions or your purpose are the fruit of your imagination. If you do not like what you are producing as it pertains to your ideas, purposes and intentions, you literally have to think and reconsider. What are you imagining? Because the fruit, which is a full result, understood in time, is the reason for that. You can't move forward when you're in chaos. You have to literally figure out where you're at and then do something about it. That's the long answer to it for me and for someone who would literally want to understand man. Well, how do you do this? Check your vibe. Because once your vibe is in alignment, when you're operating in harmony, your values, intentions, beliefs and expectations, that's the way you're thinking, pretty much in totality. And then what you're doing, your virtues, identities, boundaries and etiquette, look how you treat people. In short, how are you treating others? Because how you treat yourself is going to be a good signifier of how you are treating others. If you're unaware that you're doing things that are not assisting and helping, then make the adjustment to actually stop, reassess, reconsider, remember, and remind yourself of what you need to do. Because you know.

And I love the simplicity of the check your vibe. Because I think so many times when you're saying walking through chaos, I use the words walking through a fire. When you're in the middle of just everything that we have to do, right, as humans living in our life with work, kids, family, the world, all these things, right? It's so easy to just be in that autopilot mode where you're just continuing to go, right? And then all of a sudden you wake up and you're like, wait, what am I even doing? I'm not doing anything for me. And so this idea of almost waking yourself up, even if it's every day, you're like, I'm going to check my vibe. And you have that as a constant reminder. Then you're able to check yourself and be able to notice where you might be lacking. Living with intentionality, right where you want to focus more on. I love the simplicity of it. I love the fun, kind of sexy saying of it. It just feels fun, I think, more than anything else I've heard out there too.

Thank you, Stacy.

Check your vibe. That's so fun. That's so fun. Especially if you're in your program. I'm imagining you teach it so deeply so that when you say that, it's coming from an immediate understanding of what they need to look at too.

Yeah. A lot of the time people don't know the questions to ask themselves. And you have. Okay, so if you're going to tell somebody to go and do something after they just ask you for help, you have to be willing to take them by the hand, especially if they've never been there before or at the very least walk alongside them. Well, if you've never been there before, you don't understand. You lack empathy, and it's very hard to help someone to understand something that you don't quite understand yet. So I make things simple for me with these mnemonics and acronyms because it assists me in making it simple for somebody else. So just like with your whole vibe, I mean, another one is your. This is how you literally make sure that you keep your circle the right way. And that's not sharing your PP&J with anyone who is not a VIP. A VIP is someone who shares the same values, identity and priorities as you. I can't expect somebody who is not a father, who is not a husband, who. None of that. To understand as an identity as it pertains to my priorities. They don't get that. And I shouldn't expect that. That's inconsiderate. So if that's the case, then I know that I can't share my principles, boundaries and judgments. Judgment, meaning, discernment, meaning how I see things appropriately in my own worldview. So if I can't share my principles, boundaries and judgments with you, it's because we don't share the same values, identity, nor priorities. And that's okay, but it just makes it easy for me to make the decision on, like, yeah, we can vibe together to a certain extent, but I know you're not a vip. We just cool and it's okay.

Well, I'd love you to share about your community because you're building a community now around this. And what kind of. Kind of got you to want to do that? And what is your goal for this community?

Absolutely. I've been told to do it. I've been asked to do it. I've been requested and suggested and all of that. And I was hiding because I felt like I didn't have it. And then I was told, jared, you got it again. It's like, what? Let me just go do the thing.

Let me just go do the thing shout out to Sarah Moses, let me go do it now. And I just literally, like, what? Well, Stacy has do the thing. Sarah has do it now. And I guess mine would fit right in with be the if.

Yeah.

An if is a condition that must be met in order for a specific purpose to be fulfilled. It's a piece of an algorithm pertaining to if, then when statements and all of that. So you need to be the actual change that you desire to see in somebody's life or circumstance or situation. And sometimes being that requires you to have a little more than. Than just you. Like, you're not enough to change and persuade every single person that you're going to come into contact with, because that's not your job and responsibility. You are enough to do what it is you are meant to do. Enough is enough. They like, enough is enough. Like, well, listen, listen. You have enough to do exactly what it is you're supposed to do. However, that doesn't mean that that doesn't require other people. So community is a huge thing. If it was useful for me, and I'm not the epitome or a catalyst for this example, but if it was good enough for me to change, then why wouldn't I perpetuate what I believe? And understanding that a lot of people don't have people who are intentional around them. They're not surrounded by people who genuinely desire to be intentional, especially as fathers, intentional as our family, intentional as friends, and intentional your faith. A lot of people just trying to find their tribe. So if you want to find your tribe, you got to find your vibe. Well, I want to create something for you so that you can do exactly that. You don't have to be like everybody else. You just need to find out if you fit into the garden, which is where harmony takes place. I don't agree with balance on certain things. Balance is dealing with scales. However, harmony is also dealing with scales musically. So if we're gonna have people who are not the same tone, they're not the same frequency. However, if you mesh them with somebody else, like I take a C sharp and then I add a G with it, then I'm gonna get a specific sound. If I like that, that's the second piece in a triad of as far as a minor chord. If we're intentionally trying to produce something to get a specific sound, then we should come together even though we are very different. The C sharp is a black key on the top of the piano. The G is just a white key at the bottom of the piano. But the Point is that they come together perfectly and they just so happen to be on the same instrument. Well, the instrument of life is what we all have inside of us. So I believe being intentional about your identity and understanding it, you're not that much different than the people around you. Just be intentional about who you put and keep around you. That right there will help you to not only accomplish what you're meant to, but but assist others in doing the same.

What kind of conversations do you see happening in your community?

Well, one conversation is definitely dealing with the thing I just referenced. Music. I love music. I create and produce music. This is what I do. I even had got to a place in point as we was talking before we started. The thing that I am actually creating. Like I've created it, but I'm testing it. And it's a signature memory. Like everyone has memories, but there's a framework that I created. And within it, you literally just take the memories, the messages and the melodies that pertain to your life. And this is how you get intentional about your legacy. So a signature memory is like a signature message. We've all heard of that. A signature memory is going to be a music enhanced message originally recorded by you.

Because if you have a podcast, for example, you're gonna want to have some music. You might want some intro or some outro music. If you are an artist and you don't know that you should be a public speaker, then guess what? You are a performer. You speak, you perform in front of a microphone. Therefore your message should be enhanced by your music so that you can originally record it for usefulness other than what you're doing right now. So inside of the community, I'm definitely big on making sure, like, hey, what's the soundtrack to your life?

How fun.

Let's create some music around that for you. But also what are you really trying to do? If you're here to be intentional, then let's make sure that we're provoking and pushing one another forward to get to the destination.

How fun that's gonna be. Just so I just see that being so alive with people. Cause it's just unique and different in you, right? And it brings in this lay fun too.

I got it from you, Stacy. You the one literally provoked me to realize, Jared, you and another way to say you got it. So go do the thing. And you made me aware. It's like you don't have to be anybody, but you just be intentionally be. And you'll attract those that you are meant to attract. And it's Definitely been unprocessed.

What do you think helped you see that? Just being able to tap into that being you. And you mentioned Eileen, you mentioned me, you mentioned being able to hear what everyone's saying. And I'd love to know, is there something that really got it to be.

Like, oh.

Here we are. I'm doing this thing.

Well, in all sincerity, one big major piece was you. When I witnessed and watched, I'm like, stacy's not trying to be fancy with any of this. She's literally making this very simple. Everything that you were doing and the connector piece for me was the fact that. Yo, Jerry, you know you've done this before. I'm like, what? So because I had recorded my process, I was able to review all of the things that I've already recorded. I was able to re. Watch me, and I'm like.

I did that. What, I should listen to me more often? No. What do they say this about me? Because I didn't want to be arrogant. Think I already know? No, but we're talking about years back. We're not talking about a couple months or a year or two. No, we're time back. Because I recorded my process, I was able to return and review, and it's like, oh, my goodness. So now I'm just going to collecting the pieces intentionally with what I already have.

Wow.

Oh.

And we're doing. I know you're in that cap show challenge with me. It'd be fun, because I've been having fun putting stuff in there. For those of you that don't know, cap shows, that tool that reimagines everything that you're saying, and it puts it in all these different ways to see it. So anyway, I don't know if you started doing that yet, but I've been having fun putting things that I've said in there, and it's like, oh, my gosh. I said that. It structures it in this really cool, unique. Right? I know. It's this really unique way.

Yeah, I did, and I have. And I was like, I could say that even better. Hold on. Let me just take this other piece of, like, that's so jarred. It sounds egotistical, but it's not. It's just like, man, this is great. Yeah, Cap shell's a phenomenal tool.

Yeah. It's like you tapped into your confidence, so now you're leaning into conviction. Right. Because you're starting to see it, hear it, feel it, and it's all part of this framework.

So, yeah, it was going from the. What do they Refer to it as the unintentional competence to the intentional competence. So I was unaware that I was already doing things. I was just producing fruit, not knowing it. Now I'm intentionally producing the fruit because I'm fully aware of what it is that I'm doing now. But I had to reflect.

Well, I'd love to hear your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing.

Oh, my number one piece of advice for people doing the thing. Okay. My number one piece of advice on doing the thing is literally know your vibe. And what I mean by that is there's two sides to it, of course, with the vibe and everything, but one, knowing who you are is extremely important. You're not just going to wake up and just know it. The way that you know who you are is by first knowing where you are. And I know I've got all of these acronyms and mnemonics, but there is one that has helped me immensely and it's called pain. It's a pain. I know we started the fight. It's like you said, it was death and now you're talking about pain. It sounds so morbid, but this is genuinely how I process this stuff. It's a pain, which is anticipation. What do you want? What are you expecting? Preparation. How are you getting ready for it? How are you making yourself ready for it? Articulation. How are you bringing that together? What you say you want and then what you're doing? How are you joining the two? This is the articulated and communicating that identification. Who have you become and is the person you become capable of accomplishing this thing? Or do you need help? And then navigation. Whose voice are you listening to in your head? Who's the gps, the rerouting when you're going the wrong way? Who is around you? Because regardless of where you're at and all of that good stuff, you still need some guidance. And if you're not taking wise counsel, then you possibly just going off of assumptions. And that's a limited perspective. So if your perspective is limited, then your understanding will always require improvement. A limited perspective will produce unlimited assumptions, but an unlimited perspective will at the very least produce an accurate understanding. So if you don't identify a pain worth suffering for, because guess what, you're already doing it. You can suffer going to the gym and be in pain while you trying to get these results. That's voluntary. Or you can suffer involuntarily like disease or death and things like that.

Yeah, yeah.

Choose your pain context to your vibe. Choose your pain. Make sure It's a pain worth suffering for, and it does not compromise your values, intentions, beliefs, expectations. That that's the main piece. The virtues, identities, boundaries, and etiquette, that's kind of hard to remember. But literally just knowing that the person that you become is suffering unintentionally and intentionally makes sure it's worth it.

Yeah, it's funny. I knew we connected on a lot of levels, but I didn't know it was this. I have a challenge I run at Find your voice. And it's actually turning out to be this foundation for everything that underpins do the thing. And it's all about self awareness and really tapping into who you are. And I'm like, wow, we really connect on that level. The importance of taking the time to be reflective and really getting out of the chaos, out of the fire, and being able to just spend five minutes with yourself. Because that's all it takes, right? It's five minutes a day to be able to ask yourself a question that can just break the autopilot to get you to see the intention with the question that you just said, which is like, okay, you don't want to work out which pain do you want? Do you want the pain of working out, or do you want the pain of disease? I mean, that is powerful. That statement alone. That is so powerful when you think about it.

Thank you, Stacy. That's really it. That's the advice. The one piece of advice. Literally, what are you suffering for and is it worth it? Because if it's not a pain worth suffering for, it is inconsistent with the identity that is literally attached to you. I genuinely believe that every person in this world is valuable, able to be of value, able to be of use. Therefore, if you are compromising your value, it's because you're being unintentional, which means you are being negligent. You don't have to be intentional to do things that are not wise. You have to be intentional to do things that are wise. If I accidentally step on your big toe and I say, I'm sorry, I didn't intend to do that, it doesn't change the fact that I just stepped on your big toe. Just because I was unintentional doesn't. Excuse me. So how many of us make so many excuses as to, well, I didn't know. Okay, that's cool. But now you know. How are we going to move forward on this? Because if you keep perpetuating the same thing as pride, it's perpetually repeating ignorant decisions every day, and it's only so long before that. Ignorance is not intentionality.

Wow. Please share with people where they can join your community and how they can get into your world.

Oh, definitely. Well, thanks to Stacy, Lauren, I've now understood that I have to send you guys to betheifcommunity.com and if you go to betheifcommunity.com, that's where you'll be able to join the community. We'll get you right in. We'll be in the community of people who are not only intentional, but they are the if because they're not making excuses. They are intentional about the actual vibe, values, intentions, beliefs and expectations. And how many of you would like to be amongst a bunch of people who are consistent with your tribe and your vibe? I think that's a good idea.

Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming on. This was so much fun getting to do this with you. I feel like I've just learned so much from you and I'm just really excited. I think this was amazing.

Thank you for having me. Stacy, you're amazing and phenomenal since the day I met you. Thank you.

Thank you. And for you guys, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. And hey, guys, have you checked out my Facebook group yet? It's do the thing community.com and I have a brand new one called dothingcollaboration.com.