Episode 90 - Javed Bhaghani Says Self-Awareness And Rhino Skin Are Key To Doing The Thing

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Oh, my gosh, you guys, today is a really exciting day. I have been asking this next guest to do a podcast interview with me for a while because he is one of the key things that got me to do the thing in my life and has been instrumental in so many things for me. And I am so excited to be able to get a chance to dive into everything that he has done and experienced and all the people he helps and impacts. It's just like my mind is blowing just thinking of what we can actually talk about in this interview. So I'm really excited to get a chance to have you guys hear from him and learn from him and get a chance to meet him and love him like I do. So I am introducing Jeff. Ed began to the show. Hey, Jeff.

Hey, Stacy. Thank you so much. You're too kind. And it's more flattering for me to actually be part of your podcast than anything else. So thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate it and happy to help in any way I can.

Yeah, I'm really excited. I just. You have so much to your life that I think could be learned from so many people. And just how you impact others, too, on top of your own experiences has been amazing to be able to see.

Yeah. Thank you.

So why don't we start off and have you share about you and your background and your story so everyone can learn about you?

I can give you kind of the sob story a little bit. You know, I was one of those kids that was very unconfident. I was bullied as I was a child. In fact, my mom told me when I was very young, in kindergarten, first grade, the teacher said that I need to go to a special school. So I was definitely had all things pitted against me. Also. Being a middle child seems to be part of that experience for me. But over the years, starting around, I think, ninth grade, I started developing a lot more confidence in who I am. And what I am and what I can do. And a lot of that confidence really came from people around me that said, hey, you can do this or you can be successful. You can do whatever you want to do. And so I always value that opportunity to be able to do that for others, because I know how much of a tremendous impact it made for me in terms of growing up. And as I continued to go through, we sold books door to door, that we did that in college. And then I went to work for a custom clothing company. And it had always been my ambition since very young age to start my own business. And so in 2003, we started our own business. We actually started buying some retail stores. Failed miserably at that. But then we converted that into what we do today, which is we manufacture custom furniture for hotels all across the country, including the Caribbean and Hawaii. In our life, we think we make all these decisions. We think that we decided to do this, and we make this to do that. And in reality, sometimes the decisions that we're not really cognizant about are the ones that we impact us the most. And so I remember sitting on a bench in ninth grade, and I was talking to a friend of mine. I said, hey, what are you going to join? What are you doing? You know, ninth graders were kind of green. He said, well, I'm going to join Junior Achievement, which is a business program. And the fact that he mentioned that pricked my ears. And so I got involved in Junior Achievement flippantly. I didn't really think twice about it. I was like, okay. But I can tell you today that that one flippant decision is exactly where I am today. That whole decision. I'll tell you what I mean. Joining Junior Achievement, I was able to meet a gentleman in 12th grade who told me I have to go sell books door to door. So my first summer selling bookstore door, I met a guy who was in college. His name was Nazif. He introduced me to my wife, which I'm married to today. I worked for a sister company from that book bookselling company called Tom James and Tom James. I said, I want to start my own office. And they said, you can go to San Diego. So I came to San Diego, and that's where I met my business partner who I'm in business with today. So a lot of times we try to think about making all these right decisions, But I think it's really around right intentions. If you have the right goal and the right vision and the right intentions, you will make it to where you want to Go. It's not always so methodical, I should say.

And you're speaking exactly the kind of thing I'm working on right now. I actually just bought this huge white paper roll that I want to lay out somewhere on my. I don't know if it's on my floor or on my wall yet, but I literally want to circle the dot of where things begin and then go, oh, wow, this is where I met that person. And that's where this about. And then almost see that connection. Because there's something I need to see visually. But it's exactly what you're talking to. You have no idea. Just by you even saying yes to one event or saying yes to one person, saying, let's come here. What, what's going to. Or taking a job that you might not even know what the outcomes.

Yeah. Where it leads you to. I mean, and I think the lesson here is really around awareness. I find that you have to be aware of what you're doing and what you're thinking. A lot of times we go through on. In a daytime. Have you ever stopped to think about what you're thinking about? I mean, our subconscious is always talking to us. And so it's an important exercise to get off your phone or sit quietly somewhere or not be distracted and actually say, well, what am I thinking about? And what you'll find and what I found for myself. They're usually very negative. Your thoughts, someone that hurt you, someone that told you you couldn't do something, something that's telling you you're not able to do something, or what your parents said or who hurt your feelings or someone said something rude to you that morning. And those thoughts are constantly running through our mind. And so to me, it's really around being aware of what you're thinking about and why you're thinking about it. And how is that going to impact you and what you're trying to achieve. Yeah.

So what is your biggest way that you're able to kind of tap into that, to be aware of what you're thinking?

Well, like right now, I can tell you. Have you ever thought, stopped and thought about your pinky toe? Think about that for a second. When's the last time you felt your pinky toe? You feel it? I feel it. You feel the sensation from your pinky toe. So it's being around that awareness. And the other thing around awareness that I find very helpful is listen to what you're telling yourself, listen to your body, listen to what's happening. Because there's so many times Where I'm trying to do something or there's a challenge or something's happening and I'll be sitting doing something else and that that idea or that something will come to my mind and I will respond to it at that exact moment. I won't wait, I won't forget about it, I won't logic myself out of it. I go with what I'm feeling or what I want to achieve. So for example, there could be people I've been trying to get in touch with for years and I'll be typing my computer and I'll just be sitting there and I'll think of that person's name. So what I'll do is I'll stop what I'm doing and I'll call that person and inadvertently I always catch them on the phone or, you know, I mean, so listen to what you're saying. We try to outsmart ourselves and we try to out logic ourselves. And a lot of times it's just really around being aware and following those awareness, following that feeling, following that direction.

And I like that idea of pausing and coming from that high achiever mindset, right? It's like go, go, go. Sometimes it's easy to almost numb and then not even notice what you're feeling. And that's something I've been working on. Actually I've had a somatic therapist on a few times that I've been working with because this is really where I'm going, trying to get reconnected to my body and knowing what that is. And I'm trying to explain it to the people listening too, because I think it's so easy to go into that go, go, go mindset, especially because my podcast is do the Thing. It's really important for me to also help people make sure when they're doing the thing, it's out of alignment for themselves, not coming from numbing. So I love that idea of that. It's almost like a pattern interrupt in your life where you're able to kind of stop and really focus on how you're feeling.

The Peruvians and the Egyptians mummified the exact same way. But there's no evidence that neither of those societies or civilizations ever communicated, but they mummified the same way. So what does that tell you? It tells you that if you really want something bad enough and you have that desire to do something, you'll figure it out. A lot of times when we get into this, how to, how to do this or how to do that or this is what I need to do, it almost creates what I call a mental block because automatically you start saying, well I don't know how to do that, or I can't do that or I need to know this or I need to have that, or I need to have this circumstance or I need to have this situation. But the reality is you need none of it. You can do it. That's my belief is that if you want something bad enough, you will succeed. And there is no how to manual. It really comes to you as you proceed and do it. That's how I honestly believe. Let's take nature for example. I'm a big observant around nature. In nature, if we're consider ourselves part of nature, then you have to believe that we operate in similar fashion to nature. So for example, a lot of us find ourselves impatient with change. You got to change quickly, got to change tomorrow. Well, let me ask you, how many seasons are there in nature? Or so even, even nature needs time to change and adjust. Why doesn't a river ever run straight? There's two ways to look at that. Because water will always find the path of least resistance, or water will always find a way to get it to its destination. You see, so if a tree wants sunlight and water, what does it do? It bends itself. So do we have to bend ourselves if we want something? If a rock, if you look at a rock with these beautiful formations, remember it took a lot of wind, rain, sun to make that happen. So as human beings we need a lot of tears, we need a lot of push when we lean, a lot of heat sometimes to make that change ourselves. So nature is a great example of how we can operate and look at nature around us to see how that operates and how we fit into that. And it gives us very clear guidance on how we should be able to maneuver and hit our goals and dreams in life.

For as far as when you see someone getting mentally blocked, what do you think is the best thing for them to do? In addition to kind of tapping into their self awareness?

I believe you just have to ask yourself the right questions. So if there's a mental block, you have to kind of be your own lawyer, as I would say. I'd say, okay, well wait, why do I feel that way? What is it that someone has said to me or what has happened in my prior life or and previous experience that makes me believe or think that's actually true? And what you'll find the answer is nothing's true when you say, oh, I can't do this. Well, why can't I Do that. Has someone said I can't do that? Or what has stopped me mentally from thinking that? And so just really questioning and probing your own thoughts are really a great way, in my opinion, to kind of get over what I call the mental blocks. It's usually I always like to say the greatest change is not around you, it's within you. So the more you can change yourself, the more things around you change. So the more you can challenge your thinking, the more you can challenge why you're thinking, what you're thinking, the more success you're going to have to overcome some of those obstacles.

Okay, Javed, we're going to go back, back to the old ages. Are you ready?

Yeah.

So we talked about selling books. I have had a few people on here that have sold great books stories and a few that I haven't published yet that I'm excited to about selling books door to door for the listeners that might be chiming in for the first time. If you can just explain what that is. That's a job that I also did during college, you guys, and it's Javette and I did not sell books together. We met after that job, after. At the next one. But I wanted to have us talk about it because I think this is another. In addition to your junior achievement story. I think this is another piece of that do the thing for formula kind of stemming through life.

Yeah, I mean, look, when I was in, when I was in college, you know, I got recruited to go sell bookstore door, which is in essence, you. You get in your car or you ride with someone to Nashville, Tennessee. They tell you you're going to go sell books in some town in the United States that you end up going to. You end up knocking on doors to find a place to stay. And after about 100 doors, someone will let you stay with them with two other college kids, which is really brave on their part. And then you get out there and you have your routine in the morning, you have to take cold showers. You have to give yourself positive affirmations. And you go knock on, they say about 80 doors a day, I think is about what the percentage is. And you do 30 demonstrations. You show your products or wares, and then you try to make three or four or five, six sales from that. And what you learn from that is a couple of things. One is that rejection is never personal, even though sometimes it feels like it. And the more important thing is to never give up. I think that is the biggest aspect of that program is you just can't give Up. Most people, if you look at successful people, they've all had their ups and downs, they've all had their failures, they've all had their setbacks. But what makes them successful is the fact that they don't give up. I mean, that is, to me, the only key ingredient to anyone is that you just continue to pursue and perceive and go for it. And that to me is if anyone asks what is their definition of success is never give up. You can't give up. And you have all types of reasons to give up. Financial reasons, you don't think you can do it mentally, or someone told you you can't do it, or the market doesn't demand your products, or, you know, whatever thousands of reasons people give you. But that has nothing to do with it. You know, if you have a desire and you have a will and you're willing to invest your time and energy, you will succeed. And most people give up. It's not because of what they're doing. It's because the mental picture of their success is different than what actually happened. You see? So when people go into ventures, I'll use my daughter, for example. My daughter wanted to go to Georgetown. And I said, noor, you can get to Georgetown, but it may not be in the way that you're thinking. You get to Georgetown. So, for example, going from high school into Georgetown, la la la. I mean, you got it. But if you really want to go to Georgetown, it may not work that way. You might have to go to another university for two years and then transfer into Georgetown. You see? But if you really want to go Georgetown, you will get there. So success has nothing to do with us in terms of the route. It's just not giving up. If you really want to be somewhere, you will be. And so don't let your mind trick you on how it should happen. It should just happen the way it needs to happen. You just got to keep towards and continue to push towards that goal. Yeah.

So do you think then the idea is if you're talking goals, it's just knowing where you want to go, and then it's okay if you don't have the exact plan of how you want to get there, it's just taking one step in the direction of the goal, or do you have another another way that you would advise?

I mean, it always takes a goal. Look, everyone, you know, there's a lot of people who try to plan out every particular aspect of something. Like, and I used to do this, to be honest, like, okay, if this happens, I'll do all this, but usually what happens is the thing you never think about is the one that throws you off kilter. So the thing actually is to really believe that no matter what comes your way, you will handle the situation at that time. You have to have that confidence because no one can preemptively foresee health issues or financial issues or whatever happens as you're trying to do things. But you just have to believe that whatever comes your way, you'll work it out and you'll find a way to get through it.

So how many years did you sell books for?

5.

Five years. Oh, my gosh. See, it's funny. We haven't really. It's. When we met, you were. We were already done with this book stuff. Yeah, we didn't really talk too much about actually selling. I didn't realize you sold that many years. Did you manage. You manage students then too, right?

Very unsuccessfully. But I've always wanted to be in management and leadership. That's what my degree was in. So it took me many, many people, unfortunate for them to learn and practice on before I think I can have some semblance of a decent leadership and management style.

Yeah, you guys, I love this so much because really pay attention to this because Javed was my manager, he was my boss with the next company. We'll get there in a minute. But he was the most amazing leader that I could have ever had. And we'll go into that in a minute. But I think that's amazing that you almost had these five years of practice. For me.

I was still terrible at it. I've probably gone through 20, 30 people since then, you know, but you learn and you adapt. And again, it's about being aware of what you're doing and why you're doing it and understanding that your intentions are in the right place. You're doing things for the right reasons. Those things carry a lot of weight, in my opinion, you know, in terms of understanding why you're doing something and. And what your intention is for doing it. I think that's a really big part of success. You know, it's not Hollywood crush and step on people. And, you know, that has nothing to do with it. It really is what you put in the lives of others, you know, really makes a huge difference in your ability to operate, in your ability for your vision and your ability to help people. It makes a difference. And I believe the more you can put in the lives of others, the more your life will be fulfilled. I mean, I just think there's an.

Equation there let's do the opposite of what I was thinking we would do right now. Let's talk about how terrible you were as a manager.

I'm happy to share that. Look, when I would, you know, it was all about my rules. Managers tend to get into my rule. My rule is this. You have to do this, you have to do that. It tends to follow structure. It's not about. It's always trying to put a square peg in a circle, but it's about arrogance. It's about, I'm the boss, you have to listen to me. And you can get away with that for a certain amount of time, but you're not going to develop loyalty or passion or direction. What I've learned over the years is that it really is about the people you're working with. Their dreams are more important than your dreams, and the more you can help them get what they want, you'll get what you want. And even if I don't, it doesn't really matter. The point is, is I don't think I'm born here to just have a nice car and a big house. I'm here to give something back to my community, the people I work with, the teams I have. It really comes down to more of that. The more you can focus on what you can do for others and. And your work subsides or kind of fits into that role, you'll be successful. I. I believe that because other people want you to be successful, too.

What do you think's your number one takeaway from the book company as far as mindset goes? What did you. What are you living now?

That I believe that from there is never giving up. That's always sticking with your, you know, sticking with your program. Knock on the next door, make that next call, you know, and just keep going forward. I'll give you another analogy on nature. Since we're talking, I hope you don't mind. I'm kind of.

Yeah, go for it.

So when you're in life, if you're climbing up a hill, you guys go hiking at all. Going uphill, it's hard, isn't it? I mean, you breathe heavy, it kind of hurts. You have to kind of strain you a little bit. But what's harder going down? Your knees hurt. It's harder. So again, in life, although it's harder to go up, it's hard to go up, it's harder to come down. So you always have to be moving in the upward direction. Always improving, always getting better, always being aware, always trying new things, always evaluating how you can improve. And I believe that's a big part of success.

So now we met. I'm 24, I think 23, 24 now. So you knew that.

And you haven't changed at all. Stacy, by the way, you look the same. So whatever you're doing, you're doing well.

Thank you. So I remember my first day. So you guys, we worked at. It was a custom clothing company, but it's a sister company to the book company that we worked at. So that's how we met. Is the book company is. What is that like a on ramp to all these other companies get to work for?

Yes.

And so I went to work there. Javed was my boss. We worked together for four years, and it was quite an experience the first day. I don't know if you remember this, but I remember this. You gave me a planner. Because this is obviously a really long time ago. You gave me one of those planners, old school planners. And you. Do you remember this? You hand wrote every day a little motivational quote for me. Every day. Yes.

I don't remember that, but thanks for reminding me.

It was amazing. I've never felt more valued. I don't know. It was so cool. It just felt so good. So anyway, I really remember that, and I just felt okay. I am feeling really good here. This company.

Yeah.

And so let's just talk about that company because there's been. I've had a lot of realizations from the book company. Right. And all the things that we learned from there in terms of character building and perseverance and handling rejection. And there was even a moment that. I don't know if you had this, but realizing I never have to worry about money ever again. Because I can sell. Right. Like, I know if I hear no enough. If I hear no enough, I can do any. Anything in life. Did you have that same thing?

Yes. I felt. It's called rhino skin. You kind of get the thick skin where you don't have to worry about it anymore, and you start separating, you know, it from being personal. I mean, it takes a lot of effort and a lot of rejection to, you know, to kind of get to that point, but it frees you up. Right now, I don't mind talking to a stranger in a grocery store or saying hello to someone. I have no idea who they are or just introducing myself. So it takes time to get to that point. But I challenge everyone to do it very regularly. And it definitely is a great feeling to start building that confidence where it's okay to have someone say no to You.

And then I love that you brought up rhino skin. I actually just brought a stuffed rhino out. His name is Charge. To a kickoff call I had for a challenge I'm running, and it was to help people deal with rejection, because I love. I love the rhino. Why don't you give your. Your perception of how that rhino skin has carried you through life?

Gosh, Stacey, I mean, I don't think I'd be anywhere I am today without learning how to hear no for an answer. Does that make sense? You know, when I started this business, I was 33 years old, and there was large contracts on the line for these hotels and stuff like that. And so I heard no a lot, because they're looking at this kid going, I can't trust you with that. But you have to believe that you're going to do right by those people. And I always felt in my heart, I'm going to do right by whoever gives me a shot. I'm going to do right by them. And I still remember my first hotel client and lady, and she has a special place because she gave me a shot. And it started from there. So it took a lot of nos, took a lot of rejection, but you just keep pursuing and making those extra calls and asking to give me a shot and doing whatever you can to, you know, to. And do them right. Do them right. If you're going to ask for something, make sure you do them right.

And then talking about. So we talked about Tom James, which is the custom clothing company. Why don't you go ahead and talk about that and share what that experience was like? Because I have some things I want to talk about there, too, and then move on to your. To your business now.

Sure. So on Tom James, the. It's a great company. They did an amazing job training on the sales and direct sales. You are. You're calling on very affluent individuals generally to go to their office and measure them up and have them buy clothes from you, like suits and ties and shirts and things like that. And I liked clothing at the time. And so I thought that probably it's a good fit, but they're very good at teaching you how to get past the receptionist and make those calls and get people on the phone, they were very, very good at that. And so I think if you were to ask me what did I get out of that experience, Stacy, if I'm being blunt here, is when I dealt with all these affluent people, I looked at them and said, there's nothing about them that I can't do. That's What I really walked away from, because every day I'd go to that job and I'd meet very successful people, and in some ways I would feel very angry about. Why are they in that position? I'm not. What is it that I don't have that they have? And I just, after asking that question long enough, I just figured there isn't nothing. I mean, I just gotta go do what I have to do, follow my dream. Yeah.

And there's so much in that. I, I, I noticed that too. And I think that there's so many people that don't even realize they have limiting beliefs about money. Because if you've ever said, oh, more money, more problems, or more money, you're a jerk, or whatever, that whatever those things you have are, it's once you get to be around. I had that same experience where once I was around the people, I'm. Oh, my God, they're like, really nice. It's not anything that, what you hear about.

It's.

They're actually amazing people. And just like anyone, there's some that are not nice. And a lot of them were mostly nice, though, and really respectful and, and just heartwarming and all this stuff. And so whatever kind of misperceptions you have around money, it's almost like all those walls come down because you realize there's no, there's nothing different about you or anyone else. It's really, I mean, there's difference, obviously, but nothing from the core.

We all, I think the way to look at it, Stacy, is that when you meet people, they're generally trying to size you up how much money you are, how successful you are. But when you're meeting a bunch of successful people, they don't ask that question. They don't care. So that kind of gets rid of that barrier right away so you can get to a real conversation or real heartfelt, you know, relationships, because that barrier is immediately removed. So I agree with you. It's not always, it's not always the first thought on someone's mind. If they're successful and you're happy that other people are successful, then that's a question that doesn't come to bear.

Yeah, exactly. So whatever kind of thought you'd have. Oh, I just, I've heard people with judging is what I'm thinking of, you know, where, which is a limiting belief. It's anytime you judge someone because of they have this or that, whatever it is that is, that's you basically telling the universe you don't want that.

Yeah, I mean, I Always like to say, don't use the word. You don't ever use I don't want something. Because your mind always processes the word want. So if you put don't in it, it actually creates that want. So if you say, I don't want to fail, all you're really telling yourself is, I want to fail. Your mind doesn't process the word don't. So be very careful on how the language you use with yourself as you're trying to communicate. And be aware. Be very careful about how you're talking to yourself. You know, talk about terms of the things you want to happen, the things you want to be, the things you want to, you know, want to achieve in your life. You know, the type of person you want to be. Not in terms of don't. I would tell you that.

Yeah. And I know there's a lot of the people that we had worked with that are C levels and attorneys and just all different types of people. And I know some of them even bought upwards of $20,000 worth of clothing. Right. For a year just to make sure they were presented in the way that was aligned with what they were doing. Right. Did you have to go through any. Any kind of mindset tricks for yourself to be able to work with them originally, or was it easy for you to kind of work through that?

No. I mean, it took me a couple years to develop the confidence to deal with someone who could buy $20,000 worth of clothing, you know, at a time. And it became less about the monetary and more about serving that client's needs and desires versus about how much can I sell them, how much money can I get to them at one time. So a lot of those big orders were fun, but, you know, at some point it is hard. It is hard to not, you know, say, wow, I just spent 20 grand. I wish I could do that, or. But it is always a little challenging. But again, some of the things I learned from that is to try to focus on the client, try to focus on the service, try to focus on the person as a human being, not as a commodity.

I'm glad you said that because I think when I use the word sales, a lot of people still don't understand sales specifically. They think it's like car sales or something like that. But sales is really the number one service job that you can have because you're able to have a great product available, that someone that you could basically identify what that person needs and help them get it, essentially. And when you care about what the other person wants and you kind of do it that way. It's really a great way to be able to provide a great service.

That's absolutely correct. We see them as two different things. You think of sales and then the service. But I believe that if you service well and you take care of your clients, like you said, the sales will come. You don't have to worry about that so much.

And I know you manage other people besides me. When you were there, did you. How did you feel? How did you feel that went compared.

To the book job in terms of the management? I learned the structure of that company and how they wanted people managed and what they wanted and how it was to be done. And, Stacy, I know you. You're complimenting me on my management style, but I have to tell you, personally, I think I was a terrible manager at that time because I was very inexperienced. I didn't really try to. I tried, but maybe not successful enough to get into other people's wants and desires. I was really focused more on trying to make sales for myself, try to make my own living. You know, I mean, there's all these complicated things when it came down to it, but, you know, I always tried to do my best for each person, but my own personal limitations in terms of my beliefs and what I was trying to accomplish, I think I was a few years away from being what I call super effective on helping people there. Yeah.

It's so funny how everyone has different perceptions of themselves because I saw your heart and then also I. I saw your work ethic. So that was that example that you set, I think was really. Was really powerful. But that's so interesting. I've, like, been modeling my leadership after you. Here you are.

I know. Well, I mean, I appreciate that and I. And I don't want to take that away, but again, I never want to feel like I was good or complacent in anything. I always want to be thinking and how can I be improving? How can I do better? You know, I always want to be in that position because that always encourages learning and growth rather than thinking. You know, every time I find, like, I got it, I got this, something always humbles me. So I've learned to always be pursuing and try to improving and being aware of how I can be better at all times.

And then I think it was soon after this and you don't. I think we talked. I'm, like, trying to think of how to word this. I want to bring up the kidney without you.

I had a kidney transplant in 2008 for those who are in a position to give a kidney. Definitely nothing to be concerned about. You know, my brother in law, an angel who gave me his kidney so I can live a good life. So it is a birth defect that kind of happened to me at 38. When things happen to us, I can tell you in this particular instance is a really nice, nice thing that I learned from it is that we get into this self pity mode, right? Why me? Why not them? Why not? And why does this happen to me? And two things out of this is that everyone has problems. They just come in different faces. So if your problem's not kidney transplant, it's something else, maybe a heart or some other. But everyone has problems. So it's not really trying to live a problem free life. It's really reframing how you see problems. That's how I see it, you know. And so when I was in the hospital, the, the doctor came in and he goes, this is the worst rejection that I've ever seen. And so I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, And I, and I remember a few minutes before that I was doing the self pity thing and I decided, I said, I'm just going to start thinking that I got a kidney. I'm going to start thanking the fact that I was able to avoid dialysis and be right. Like kind of like an oil change, right? You just walk in a hospital, get your kidney and within a week things turned around. And it taught me a lesson that being grateful and being thankful and accepting that everyone has problems. And it's not, like I said, it's not how you see the problem. Everything's a benefit. I believe everything that happens to you is for good reason. I'll give you, I mean, I think if I didn't get the kidney transplant, I'm probably in much worse health because obviously I have to watch my health more than I did before. I wouldn't be as grateful than I was in 2008. So I find that everything that happens to us is always a good reason. You just have to look for the reason. And you may not discover it at that moment, but if you reflect and you look back, you'll see that most things in your life, actually probably all things in your life probably happen for a good reason. And there may be a few exceptions to that, but I believe that most things that happen are for good reason.

I mean, there's a lot in there with that gratitude. How did you get yourself out of that loop of seeing it as a problem and then switching it to gratitude?

Well, when the doctor says, hey, we might have to pull this kidney out, I think you have to change your perspective very quickly. Right. They say that there's only three reasons why people change. One is that you are confronted to change. One is that you decide to change. You just get up and say, I'm going to change. And the third is a catastrophic event makes you change. And so I would consider that one of those catastrophic events that makes you change. You know, I also believe Covid was a catastrophic event that made a lot of people change. You know, so there's only three reasons why people change. And I prefer to decide to change rather than have someone tell me I have to change. Or a catastrophic event makes you change.

Yeah, thanks for sharing. I think there's a lot in that. It's so easy to get caught up in the why you can't do something versus take responsibility for what you can do. And I know you were even bike riding soon after that. So how did you get yourself to just get right back on into everything again?

Well, I remember standing out at the window when I could barely walk at the hospital and going, man, I just can't wait to get on my bike. So again, a deep motivation to get something done and go get on my bike and. And be thankful that I can do that.

Yeah, well, yeah, let's talk about. So you said you had the failed business and then you. Now you're in the other business. So walk us through that a little bit more in terms of what you learned from that and then how you pivoted into the. The other one.

So when we, when we bought the retail stores in 2003, you know, I was never in retail. I was always in direct sales. And so about four months from August to December, I was. I kind of got fed up of sitting in the retail store, to be honest, and saying, you know, what is it that I can be doing to add value to what I'm doing? It's an important question to ask yourself, how do I add value? What can I be doing to add value? And so I said, look, I just can't sit here and wait for customers to come in. This is crazy. So I told my partner, I said, look, I'm going to go to the factories in Asia. I'm going to see what they're doing. And when I went to the factories, I found out that they were already providing furniture for hotels and hospitality in Europe and certain parts of the United States. And I said, so you guys can make anything I want? And they said, yeah, anything. You want. So I came back excited. I went to the hotel motel association lunch, met my first client, doctor, and to give me a shot. And so as 2007, if everyone remembers, that market was really bad. 2008, remember 2009. So by that time retail was really suffering. So we kind of created the diamond in the rough here. So we converted that furniture business, the retail business, into hospitality contract business from in 2007 and from there on out, it's all been up and up, you know, so it's been very great. That's kind of the lesson is that again, it's not, you know, who would have predicted, you know, that, but you got to just believe that. Back to my old thing is that, you know, when something happens, you have to believe that you'll figure it out when you get there.

And how do you. Because I've seen your team, like really, you. You had actually let my daughter come in and sell girl Scout cookies one time. And I got to meet everyone and I'm just wondering, so in terms of your. Since we've sort of had this through line of your management style since you were my boss many years ago, how is, how has that been for you now that you've had all this experience?

You know, I love my team. I feel the most satisfaction when I can help someone grow. I think that's my primary purpose, you know, like, if I can see someone, like there's certain people I brought on 10 years ago that, you know, were like an admin. And now they're managing five, six, seven people. I mean, I love that. I love watching them grow and develop. I love my team that, you know, sees vision, sees purpose for themselves, you know, sees a direction, sees the value of personal growth and how that coincides with professional growth. So I think a lot of my time is spent coaching and developing and working with my team because I believe the more I can help them achieve what they want, everything around it will also automatically achieve.

And what do you think's your best way to be able to help someone tap into their vision of why they want to do something?

I mean, to me, everyone, you know, you don't eat a cake the whole time. You take a bite at a time, right? So everything's around sitting down with your team and saying, okay, where do you see yourself in the next six months? Where do you see yourself in a year? What kind of income would you like to make in five years and looking at them and committing that, I'm going to help you do that. Do I have your permission to help you get to what you want. And once they give you permission to help them, then all feedback, all teamwork, all coaching is all from that perspective of helping them get what they want. And again, if you help them get what they want, you'll naturally get what you. They're symbiotic. All goals are symbiotic in my opinion. All vision is symbiotic because there's always alignment between all human beings and what we're trying to achieve.

And we talked a little bit about goals earlier, but I wanted to bring it up again. What has been your best way to approach goals?

Yeah, I mean, look, what I do is you could write down your goals and this. But what I found that works pretty effectively is journal writing for me. I love journal writing. You know, again, back to that awareness and, and reflecting the reflection is to think about and write down what you're thinking and where you want to go and what you'd like to have and what kind of person you want to be. And those type of things generally fine for me are very, very helpful. I also find reading autobiographies are very helpful for goals and achievements because as human beings we think we have to be perfect to succeed. And what you'll find out is that Thomas Edison, Obama, Abraham Lincoln, all of them were not perfect in any way. Benjamin Franklin, they had many, many faults but they were able to do tremendous things. And so that takes the pressure off me that I don't have to be a perfect person or perfect at this or perfect at that to be successful in whatever I'm wanting to achieve in life. So those examples are really, really helpful. You know, in fact, Abraham Lincoln was a very self loathing person. He would tell you I can't do this, I'm not that. You know, and imagine the impact he had. And that was his. Yeah, but his self talk wasn't the greatest. Yeah, but he was a sincere, genuine, heartfelt person that helped him ride through those things.

And what do you think as far as accountability goes? What's helped you either stay accountable to your goals or helped you help others stay accountable.

So accountability is one of those things. A lot of times you'll hear, hey, I have to have an accountability person or accountability this or something. You know, again, I think that's a trick in your mind that if you don't have that you can't achieve it. But the reality is you have to be accountable to yourself. I mean, what pride do you take in what you want to achieve? What is it that you're trying to Do. So accountability has to be 100% yourself. I mean, again, just to kind of get off on a little bit of a tangent is one of the things that makes people successful, I think, is you have to have 100% accountability for your actions. And let me give you a meaning example of this. A lot of times when things happen or problems happen, I talk about this a lot in my company. If I hear something like it's not my fault, or it's so and so's fault, that to me, pains me in my heart. And I'll tell you why it pains me. Because the moment we push the accountability onto an environment or another person or some other factor, we're reducing our opportunity to learn from that experience. We've written off our ability to say, what could I have done different? What could I have thought about different? What could I have been more aware of? You see? So to me, accountability is 100% me. And I'll give you another example. Let's just say, for example, you're in a relationship, okay? And you happen to lie one time to this partner of yours, just one time, and that was 10 years ago. And you're 10 years into this relationship and you're complaining that my. My spouse doesn't or my significant other or my partner doesn't trust me. Well, whose fault is that, really? Is it that. Is it their fault that they don't trust you, or is it yours that you lied to them 10 years ago? So it takes that type of reflection and that type of awareness to really hold yourself accountable to your success.

So what about. Do you have something as a visual reference or is there anything that you do to be able to hold yourself accountable?

Well, again, I'll give you another story on this. Okay? So journal writing helps to reread my journals, to think about what I want on a daily basis. You know, I start my morning on what I'm trying to achieve. So it's important. But, you know, look, when you were a child, Stacy, or you have children, right? Do you remember what your kids would do when they were young? What did they. What would they do every couple minutes or less than every couple minutes?

Ask why?

No. Well, that's one. But they say, I want this, right? Can I have a cookie? Mom, can we go to Disneyland? Mom, can we get a car? Mom, can we go here? Can I go see my friend? Right. Do you remember that? In the span of 10 minutes? I believe human beings always do that, even as adults. We never grow out of that habit. So you have to be aware the fact that the moment you wake up, you're probably thinking of 50 different wants and that's what's preventing you from hitting your goals. Focus on the one or two and discipline yourself on that. Right? Because it's easy to get in that trap. I want a new car, I want a bigger house, I want a new job, I need a new boss. Right. I want to make more money. And all that could happen within a four minute time frame. But if you don't know what you really, really want, why would anybody else really give it to you? So my view is focus on one or two things that you really really want and get and don't allow yourself those distractions. And you'll find that your creative mind will open up, your creativity will open up, your energy will be focused on getting those things you want, rather than the 50 other things that you maybe want or just thinking about at that time. So that's how I gauge accountability. I hope that answers your question, Stacy. But it's really just around being very aware of focusing and reminding yourself of things that are truly important to you on a daily basis.

And then with your journal, is there any kind of check that you're doing or anything tactile that you're doing to like show that you've done it?

No. I mean, I could go back and read my journal and I can tell you that most of the time I've hit most of my goals. Right? I've hit most of them. I even. I don't. My wife doesn't like the story, but I'll share it with you. I wrote down what I was looking for in a spouse, and I can tell you that what I wrote down versus what I got, it's like a 95% match. So again, just focusing on what you want and writing it down. And to me, the exercise of writing it down is pretty strong. I mean, you're actually physically taking effort. And that embeds it more than just than what I call thinking about it. And then the next day something distracts you and you think about something else. So the act of writing it down is a big part of it, and the act of reviewing it is also a big part of it.

And then as far as educating yourself, what's your favorite way to learn that you've noticed or do you have a certain way that you like to learn?

Yes. So I believe that autobiographies, reading those are really helpful. And I also find that the teacher learns more than the student. So I have every opportunity I possibly can to say you know, share things that I think will help people or help them be more successful. If I, I love that if, you know, and I love, I love working with kids. I love working with anyone who's open minded to wanting to learn how to be successful or be better. That is one of the greatest ways I love learning is by sharing that knowledge because it not only helps me embed it within myself, but also reminds me of certain things that I should be refocusing on.

Yeah. And perfect, because full circle, you, you started this episode talking about Junior Achievement and how that sort of helped, sort of get you on the path to success. And now that's what you're doing, right? Where you're educating others through that. Do you want to talk a little bit about what you're doing there?

Right there. I'm on the executive committee of the Junior Achievement for about, I think it's almost been five years. They do a fantastic job on financial literacy and helping people understand how important financial management is and how important thinking big and going for your goals and doing things like that make a big impact in your life. I mean, if you think about what you're surrounded with generally paints the picture of what you can do. Junior Achievement does a great job of helping kids oversee or look beyond their own surroundings. So if I grew up in a family where both my parents are plumbers, all their friends are plumbers or tradespeople, I think sometimes that's hard for a student or a kid to see beyond that. So I think Junior Achievement really does a great job creating that platform of saying, hey, you can be a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer, and when they meet people like that, it opens up the horizons for these kids that the possibilities are there. And also financial management, how to write a check, how to balance a budget, those are all very important aspects of, as part of, as part of being successful too.

All right, Javad, you get one piece of advice for the listeners on how to do the thing. What is it?

I would tell anyone that, look, listen to, listen to what you're saying and understand what you're saying to yourself. Just be aware of that conversation. To me, all the other stuff, how to do this and where to read this and all those things will come, I promise you that. But you have to understand what it is you want and be aware of it and why do you want it and what are you willing to do to get it. And I think it will happen for you. You just have to, you just have to be aware of it and focus.

On it and if any of the listeners would like to learn more about.

You, listen, I would. I would extend myself. If they want to reach me, they can reach me at Javed J a v e dascanehospitality.com you know, I'm more than happy to, you know, jump on a call and further discuss anything they need or answer any questions or help remove any mental blocks. I'm, I'm happy to do whatever, whatever is needed. Life is only fun when you're giving back, in my opinion.

So good. Thank you so much for coming on.

No problem. Thank you, Stacy. Thank you. All right, take care.

Bye.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast Co. Or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.