Expert Panel-Work/Life Balance. What Does This Mean for Women in Business and Leadership

I do the thing. Expert panel. We are.

I don't even know. I can't even tell you. Like, the timing of this panel is, like, so perfect, because when you're doing something new and you're expanding, it's so easy to think that you have to choose, right? Do I want to explode my business, or do I want to have my personal life? And what's been great is I have Dr. Toobie here, who has been talking to me about her upcoming masterclass, helping Women scale without sacrifice. And she's basically showing people that you don't have to choose. You're able to actually do it without worrying about sacrificing, because you're able to set up systems and create boundaries around the things that you're doing to be able to do that. And so we thought this would be fun to bring other women who are doing this so beautifully and go through it, because we all go through these times of growth and, you know, going through that. And so I would love to have you each introduce yourself and say who you are. And we'll start with you, Dr. Tooby. But if we could take one minute, because I'm realizing we are not live in the Facebook group yet, which is fine, because this will be on recording. But just take one minute, and we'll all just say hi for a minute for first, and then I'll have you each introduce yourself.

That sounds good.

All right, here we go.

They changed the way. It's like streaming, and I'm like, oh, that's right. We got to still push live. That's important. Here we go.

There we are.

So we're in one group.

Which group is this?

Here we go. I'm gonna mute my thing, so it's gonna take.

Here we are.

We're live in my group.

Okay, great. That's amazing. Good. Okay, great. So that should work. Let's just double check here. If not. Oh, that'd be kind of cool. We could bring them all into your group, potentially.

We're live in Meant to Thrive right now.

Okay, cool. Great. Hello, Meant to Thrive.

We are really excited about this. Okay, one second. Sorry. I'm realizing I need to do it this way.

Why don't you guys each take a minute? I'll figure out my thing on the back end. But Dr. Shuby, if you could just start introduce yourself. Your masterclass, what inspired us to meet, and then everyone will be able to basically take a few minutes and share who they are and what they're doing.

Yeah. So too.

I. I'm the above only leadership and finer details luxury event. So I'm a woman that has multiple business.

Is the reason about this topic on women. So I have.

Master class coming up on Wednesday, May 8.

Called Meant to thrive Scale without sacrifice. We're really going businesses without sacrificing everything that matters to them most. And in that transformational masterclass you will learn the six stages of the resilient business blueprint that's been carefully set up by.

By just examining CEOs have done this business and you hear about how we tripled revenue once I once.

I implemented this and so I want to share that with all of you freely so you would come to the master systems in place and how to put.

You'Ll go we'll go through the six stages and you'll learn a lot about that but that they don't have to have a business full of overwhelm, full of burnout, full of sacrificing the relationships, their families, their time for themselves. So really taking it back to the understanding.

Of what things business and for yourself to run Cassidy without sacriing everything. So that's what it is. So I don't know what else to know but yeah so that I hope everything yeah yeah. So join us and we'll be in.

The room and love to hear from.

Powerful women doing it.

If you're already doing it would love to hear from you.

If you know any woman that needs that extra support.

Men are welcome to but it is women centered.

It is a little bit different for.

Us when we want to scale we.

Have to start thinking of what we need to sacrifice in order for us to scale that. And so we want to kind of talk about that and see what we.

Can do about that so that we don't always have to make that choice. So yeah I just encourage you guys to.

Be part of the conversation. Wednesday, May 8 you go to do.

The QR code.

And the VIP hours at 12 o' clock have a woman coming in that scaled her business from ground zero as a small business owner now she's a millionaire and her on Thursday and then you guys will watch her interview and she'll also be in the VIP room and also be in the room to answer questions and kind of give some of her strategies from the blueprint, the resilient business blueprint that she's been able to use.

So so good and thank you so much and I appreciate you inspiring this whole thing. Right. That's where it's so cool when guys are doing when we as women or anyone in business is doing something Great. Then all of a sudden things get ignited. And because of Dr. Tuby's masterclass and just the energy that's been created, we are putting together this expert panel so we could just have these conversations about work, life balance and what that really means to women in business and leadership. Because like I said in the beginning, it's a lot right? Like when we're wanting to do these big things for ourselves, we take it from a different approach because we sometimes I'm speaking from my own experience, but can do the people pleasing thing and you know, start to lose yourself in the process and think you have to give everything to everyone. And it's really important to have these open conversations so we're able to work through that. And so I'd love to start with you, Deborah, if you could share who you are, what you do, who you help, and then will go around the room in that way.

My name is Deborah Sherman and Stacy, thank you very much for inviting me to be part of this. I currently have a communications business. I've had one for about 10 years now. Basically what that means is I help people get on the news. I help businesses.

Grow, get more credibility and get more exposure to people they may not even customers, they may not even know they had just by getting them placed on the news organically. I'm also starting a new business called AI Easy. It's everyday hacks for extraordinary productivity. AI right now can make you 50 times better at whatever you do. It's remarkable. It also saves you a ton of time. And with that time, then you can do stuff you want to do, spend time with your family, relax, work out, do all these things that we're going to be talking about today. I've been learning it myself and I find now I'm using it almost with every single thing I touch. And it's remarkable. Before that, I was an investigative reporter for abc, NBC and CBS News all around the country for about 18 years after that. Then I left the business after I had my son and I started doing public relations for law enforcement agencies, including the FBI in the Colorado and Wyoming division. After I kind of got out of that because that was a ton of work. Talking about working yourself to death, I finally decided to set things on my own terms. Left that. That's when I started my own communications business. And it's just a ton of.

Stacy, did I lose you?

Yeah, no, it's so good. I am just. Yeah. I'm so happy to have you here. And just so you guys know, a little context for those of you that know do the thing. Deborah is the one that helped me come up with the acronym I'm game, which is the do the thing formula. So it's exciting.

Stacey, did I lose you?

Oh, yeah. No, it's so great. I am just.

Yeah.

I'm so happy to have you here. And just so you guys know, a little context for those of you that know do the thing, Deborah is the one that helped me.

Sorry, guys.

That's called feedback. And it's awful, isn't it?

Well, what I realized was there's so zoom has changed or Facebook has changed the way that they're integrating. And so I realized there's a bunch of comments happening over in another page that I. But we're not able to see it in here. So anyway, I'm going to figure it out, but not today. Thanks, Dr. Nancy. I see yours. So, yeah, thank you, Deborah. So I don't know if you heard that, but basically she's the one that helped come up with the acronym I'm game. She was like, we were coming up anyway, that's a story for another day, but it's really exciting to have you here. And Amber, I'd love to have you share about you as well.

Awesome. Can you guys hear me? Okay, we're good.

Yay.

Awesome. I am so excited to be here. Thank you so much. My name is Amber Bender. I am a functional medicine practitioner. So I help women with their particularly with their food and body journey because many of us have struggled with unwanted eating challenges, with not getting to wherever we want to be with our health. And we also have struggled, many of us, with burnout through the course of our lives. So whether it's burnout with work, burnout with something we're passionate about, burnout with that work life balance with balancing all the responsibilities of life, or even burnout with not getting to where we want to be in terms of our health, with trying all of the things out there. Many of the women I work with have tried all of the diets, all of the plans, and still don't see the results that they want in terms of feeling confident and comfortable in their own skin. So it's kind of burnout from many different areas that can really affect women. So that's what I particularly, particularly help with. And it comes from just a very kind of mind, body approach to health. And so a little bit of a nutshell about me. And then I am actually this year having my first live in person event. So it really is, yeah, super excited about it. And so I Can chat more about that later. But, yeah, it's really about empowering women on their health journey. But really in all of these kind of facets of life where we might feel like we're just stretched too thin and we aren't tapping into our true potential, who we want to be, who we're meant to be. So that's what it's really all about. So, really excited to be here and meet you guys and share more.

So, so good. Okay, Marie, your turn.

Okay.

Well, thank you, Stacy, for having me. My name's Marie. I'm a law partner in an AmLaw200 law firm. I help businesses with employment law issues. I like to take a holistic approach. I often meet a client in crisis because they've been sued, and it's very stressful. But my goal is that I leave them better than when I've met them, help them put in place policies, practices, procedures to help mitigate liab. They get as close to litigation proof as possible on the back end. I have six kids, four dogs, and I'm a leader of a team of attorneys at my law firm. And I think Stacy picked me because I am burnout. I need all your help, but obviously, I have been managing to balance. My kids are now ages 14 to 20, but obviously when they were younger and we were shut down in Covid and we were doing online learning, there were a few moments where, you know, I might have wanted to go and be in a mental institution, but I didn't. I'm here. I'm strong, I'm resilient. So glad to be with such a powerful group of women.

So good. I love it. And thank you guys for your vulnerability, too. I appreciate it because I think it's so important. I don't think a lot of people realize how hard it is to be able to do all the things right. And that's what I think. I'm so inspired about what Dr. Toobie's doing with the masterclass, because when you're able to create these systems in your life.

And sometimes it's just like, one or two things that can really change the lever for you. And so Val would love to hear from you.

Yes. Hello, ladies. Thank you so much for having me on this panel. I feel super grateful. So my name is Val Moulin, and my company name is Valiance, and it stands for courage because it takes courage to say no to good. So that you can say yes to. Great. And I love this topic because so many of us say yes to good things when in fact we should Reserve those yeses for great things so that we can avoid the burnout and really find this sometimes ethereal work life balance. And you mentioned the word choice or choosing earlier, Stacy. And I think there's a difference between choosing and deciding. So I would love to talk more about that in a little bit, but. So I also call myself the coach of coaches and entrepreneurs, and I help coaches and entrepreneurs step in their greatness and find the courage to take the actions that they know they need to take in alignment with their vision. That this stemmed from my own needs. At some point, when I decided to start my own company as a coach, I was hiring all of the strategists, the business programs, everything. I invested in all of those. But I couldn't perform because I was stuck in fear, shame, guilt, imposter syndrome, you name it, all of the fears. And it didn't matter how many strategies I had, I just couldn't move forward because I did not have the confidence. So I really want to help coaches and entrepreneurs step their confidence game so that they can confidently create and improve in their business and take their business to the next next level so that they can get unstable.

Stuck.

So good. Well, thank you, each of you for being here. I'm just like, so grateful to share the space with you. I really want to get this started just by talking about, first of all, the result of not being resilient, right? So when you're not holding your boundaries and you're not resilient internally, you end up becoming exhausted because you're giving so much to everyone else, right? So what do you guys think is a good way to. And maybe Dr. TB will start with you here since you inspired this to just even get started with, like, not getting to that point where you're able to like, hold a boundary, create a system or something. So then you're. You're able to show up, you know, from your highest level and not from this, like, exhausted, like, sensitive place. Because when you're sensitive. Last thing, sorry. I really feel strongly about this. If you can't tell when you're sensitive, everything's annoying, you know. But if you're able to like, really create these systems for yourself, then you're. You're able to manage it with grace and ease. And that's what we want. Let's have that magic. So we're starting with you, Dr. TV.

Yeah, absolutely. Such an important question because that's, that's really where my angle comes from.

You know. So I did my research was based on proactive coping strategies and I think a lot of us in life, and especially, you know, I'm just going to focus on women. We wait for things to happen and then we react. So we have a plan for reaction, but we don't have a plan for goal setting and prevention. And so my approach is, you know, I did a unique study where we really looked at how do you build yourself up in a proactive way daily so that when these things come your way, you're ready for them and you're actually setting goals for them. It's a different way to look at it. It's not about stress and stress.

Management and burnout happens. It's a preventing burnout. And there's system things you can put in place.

Prevent yourself from going that path. I mean we are hear about burnt corner. We don't have to wait for it to knock on our door. We can put in steps and strategies.

And burn boundaries and systems internally affect us and to do is start with the whole person.

There's different things you can do. I have a powerful morning routine today with Sarah Moses. Was that when I don't do that.

Powerful morning routine, you might get a different version of me.

Okay. If you want the best version of me, I take the time for myself. I wake up two hours earlier than the rest of my family. I drink my tea, I listen to my worship. I stretch and do exercise. I get myself ready for the war. And because everybody was, as soon as everybody wakes up, it's mom this, wife this, and, and everyone's pulling on me. I need that time to myself to charge myself up. So that's one thing I do. I journal. I, you know, I, I set my goals, I plan with prioritization, I chunk. And there's so many more of them. But so these are the things that are things that you can put in place ahead of time. And whenever I notice that I don't.

Do these things, I'm more vulnerable.

I'm exposed, I'm putting myself out there. And before you know it, you're piling things on top of each other and you don't have the time because you think you don't have the time. And then all of a sudden you blow up because you just can't take it anymore. It's just too much. And you're just like turn to like this crazy monster yelling or whatever. And it's because you, you look back and go, oh my God, I had nothing in place. I didn't, I didn't take care of myself. I was just, I was doing too.

Much so we really need to take a step back and put these things.

In place before burnout occur.

Now, if you're already burnt out, you can still work your way out of vetting and things. So I think that's the most important aspect that I think is missing is people are waiting for things to happen to them and then react and be resilient after. But resilience is actually built up ahead of time. And it's from the recovery.

That you rebuild your resilience.

Things happen to you.

You go through challenges, but, oh, but then you, you continue to build yourself up in that recovery so that when that next thing comes up, it's.

Coming.

Up against a stronger you. It's coming up against a you that things in place, then those things overcome you. So that. That's my answer.

I probably went on.

That's my answer to that.

Yeah. So good. And I'm imagining we're all like, oh my gosh. And Dr. Nancy's in the comments and she said, just so you guys know, if you're on YouTube, I see it here. If not, I'm gonna go to a separate page to look at you in a few min. Guys have any questions or you're feeling like, oh, bomb, Dr. Tuby or whatever's happening, feel free to comment and I'll check it in a few minutes. But yeah, I think there's so much to what you said that I feel so deeply because when you're coming from a real, like, we do, we, we. We make a strategy for like when we're reacting. But what if we could already prevent that from happening? So I'd love to hear what's coming alive for you ladies and your thoughts on this, on this as well. So, Deborah, you want to start?

Yeah.

I really relate to Dr. Toobie. So I had a morning schedule, okay. And it was pretty rigorous. I get up, I work out, and if I know this about myself, if I don't do it, forget it. It's not going to happen the rest of the day. I'm going to promise to do it to myself at noon and I promise to go at 4 or 5 or 6. And that's never going to happen anyway. So I got thrown off my whole schedule because my boxing coach had a baby. So I haven't had this routine. And in the last week and a half, I am lost. I mean, this is like routine is everything. It makes it happen, it gets it done. It prepares your mind, it prepares your body. You know, as she was saying, it's just, it's the Way to operate the right way. So I sort of vowed to myself today, okay, you're getting back into it. You can't wait for, you know, the boxing coach to come back from maternity leave.

Or I'll gain, you know, £50. But, but. So that's one thing that I have always done that has really served me well. And the other thing I really do is I build in time for myself. So right around noon, I don't prefer to go eat, you know, lunch. I think it's expensive. I think it's. I mean, I'd rather just pack some healthy food. I'd rather do something else and sit again and eat. So I will go for a walk, I'll take my dogs out, I'll stretch a little or I'll read a book or something like that. But I really afford. I literally carve it out in my calendar. It's on my calendar. That is me time. Then I also take every evening to prioritize my tasks for the next day. Like, what did I get done? What do I have to do tomorrow? I always put first things first because everybody knows the morning is your most productive. That is when you get most things done. And so whereas a long time ago I used to do all my, you know, answer all my emails, go through all that, and the whole morning is gone. If you actually do that. So instead I do deep work in the morning, then the afternoons when I'm tired or there's a lot of distractions going on, you know, kids, what have you. Then I can be sitting there doing my emails and replying to little things. I do scan them to see if anything's urgent, and if it's not, I go immediately into. Into deep work. And then lately, and I mentioned it before, but I'm. I'm really using technology now to spend my time better. So I used to spend three hours on a press release for a client. That's just not necessary anymore. I can put all the information into AI and it will write a really fabulous press release in five seconds. It will prepare me for a meeting. It will create a board deck. If I've got to make a presentation before a board, it will take. Let's say that I have four proposals from people to analyze. I put them in there and AI will tell me the differences, tell me who's cheaper, who's more expensive, who offers more products. And it just. Little things like that have just really saved me a whole bunch of time. But I totally agree with Dr. Tooby. You have to put your routine in and you Literally have to build it into your schedule or it's not going to happen.

I mean.

Oh, and then the other, one other thing that I've started doing, I'd say in the last year is. And I read this from. I can't remember now, which big business person does this, but he never schedules appointments in the morning or the. Never. Because what does that do? Let's say you have a dentist appointment at 10. It really breaks up your whole day. You don't get morning work done. You, you know, you come back late, oh, well, then I'm going to run to the grocery store on the way home. And then your whole day is gone. So now I only schedule appointments as late as possible.

4 o'.

Clock. If I can get somebody to schedule an appointment at 5, I will. So that my whole day then is still focused and it's not out and about getting distracted.

So good. You're making me think. I'm going to text you later. We're going to our peloton thing.

Yeah.

So, because it's true. What's the thing that gets sacrificed? Right? And that's what I love.

But it's always you. It's, you know, and nobody cares. It's always you that gets sacrificed.

And.

And I'm. I'm done with that.

I.

When I was in TV news, we worked round the clock because as soon as we would get home from one meeting, one story, you know, a bridge would collapse and people would die or a tornado would hit or something, and then they call us all back in again. So we worked all the time, and I ended up with severe, severe migraines, and nobody even gave a crap then. And it's just like, I look back and I think, what the heck? And of course, it was a different time then, too, right? Everybody had to be at work. You had to be working a million hours, and there was some sort of stupid pride in that.

But now my headaches, I rarely get them anymore, and I just feel. Feel so much better and I think.

I'm being more productive.

So.

Good. I love that. All right, Amber, love to hear from you.

Yes, I love that. And I can appreciate that, Deborah, because a lot of times the stress and the burden of burnout that we take on and that we carry in our body does manifest or present as physical symptoms, and God forbid it goes on long enough can, you know, turn into illness or medical conditions. So I can appreciate, you know, you sharing that. And sometimes we don't know where that's coming from either. But when I think of burnout A lot of times I think of, you know, what are the three things that are kind of like really sacrificed? Well, it's our time, it's our energy, and maybe it's our sense of just fulfillment or our cup is filled up, right. I think in Burnout, we feel like we're absolutely just completely poured out or emptied out. And if it's okay if I just like two minutes, kind of share a little bit of my story with Burnout, I, as I said, I'm a functional medicine practitioner. So I moved on from kind of the conventional medicine in the hospital type of setting to forming my own virtual telehealth practice online. Didn't know anything about business. And I think for some of you, if you're an entrepreneur or in a leadership role, you might feel like it's kind of a lonely journey, right? I mean, here I am in my office. How many of you feel like sometimes you're just alone in your office, kind of grinding away every day? And I felt like I needed a little bit more of that connection piece and a little bit more of community. So I was stressed. I was burning out and doing all of the things, taking on all of the responsibilities, but kind of felt like alone on my journey. And I was working with a team at the time. And we had an event coming up and I had looked forward to this event all year because it was going to be my chance to meet with my other practitioners that I have been working with and so excited to just connect with people. And about a week before the event, had my flight, had my accommodations all set, my schedules all aligned, they canceled it. And it was so devastating to me. And I ended up finding a new group and went to my first event. But what kind of happened at that, that event was that I met other women that were like me, that were very like minded, that had similar goals, right. That were also feeling like they needed some support with maybe whether it was their business, whether it was their health, whether it was their, their career, whatever it was. And we actually, you know, it started from just a couple of women saying, hey, who wants to room together in an Airbnb? Like, you know, I need a place to stay and six of us room together and we've become this group together, we call ourselves the business besties. And one of those women, actually two of them, one is helping us coordinate my event this summer and the other is co hosting it with me. So you never know what these connections can kind of develop into. And I think that it helps in terms of burnout and when we take everything on having that community, other people that understand that, get it right, because it can be kind of a lonely thing. And I think with, especially with women, maybe there's a stigma or, you know, I think we tend to take everything on. Right. Like we mentioned, we put on all the hats, right. I think of, like the determined women that just like, you know, puts her head down and gets to work. Right. But then we don't delegate, then we don't ask for help, then we don't get that support that we need. So I really found the power of connecting with others and having that community was an important piece of managing kind of that stress, that burnout, and just like even that, like, work life balance as well. So part of the reason why I formed my own event was because how much it helped me by going to one myself.

So, yeah, so important. I love that you brought that up.

My life's work is connecting people together through spaces of common goals. I just think you can't do it enough right. With the things you want. I love the business besties.

Yeah.

Business besties. Yeah. All right, Marie, your turn. If you want to just share kind of how you're feeling and.

Well, it's funny, I've been doing a lot of self reflection recently because of burnout. And one of the things I realized that was challenging about COVID is that I used to commute at least 50 minutes each way to work every day. And that was my alone time. That was when I could trend. I could transition from being mom to lawyer, lawyer to mom. And I loved my commute. Even though other people would have hated the commute. I enjoyed my commute. I listened to music I loved. I listened to inspiring podcasts. You know, it was my time. And then when Covid hit, that got taken away because we were all at home working and I had six kids and online learning. So that hearing about Deborah and Dr. Tubey, talking about the importance of that morning routine, that's what's organically started to happen for me recently, is developing more of a morning routine, driven in part by health concerns and also that, you know, this is not sustainable for a prolonged period of time. And because my work right now sounds a lot like Deborah's work when she was a reporter, because it's just constant fire drills, I actually got myself a visual reminder. It's just a simple ring. It's my birthstone. And I look at it and it reminds me. I call it my self care ring because I. I need a visual reminder to pull me out of the constant helpaholic responding to crises kind of activities. Yes, I am a self described helpaholic. I do all day, and if I'm not helping clients and people on my team, I'm helping my kids. So the visual reminder for me has been a recent development that really has helped me remember that, you know, we all hear about the oxygen mask, but how many of you scoff of it? I've scoffed at the oxygen mask on first for years, but now that I'm getting older and I realize there are actual physical consequences of prolonged long hours and stress, this visual reminder helps a lot. So the ring having a visual reminder to me pulls me out of it.

I just am so happy. I just am. I'm like in this, like, happy place right now, just hearing each of you talk, because it just shows how powerful creating a space like this is. Because I think a lot of times when people put an expert panel together, they're bringing everyone that, like, helps the person, you know, and that, like, they're like, that's what their whole role is. Right? But the fact that, like, so many of you are like, living in the life too, and you're. You're able to speak to your own experiences also, and we're mixed with people that help people, I just think there's this powerful thing happening where I'm really excited. I want to actually listen back to it and strategically, like, follow through. And then when I go to your masterclass, Dr. TV, I'm gonna be like, all over every single note taking thing. But. And then the other thing I think I'm realizing too, what we forgot to mention, and I can't remember if we said it with Dr. Tuby, is she also has an events business that she runs, and that's where, like, you get to learn how to create these systems for yourself, you know? And so I'm really inspired right now to get back to a morning routine prioritizing myself. I told Dr. TB, I'm like, it's the perfect time for me to do the expert panel because, like, Marie was saying, I feel like I' lost some of my own stuff. And, and Deborah said it so beautifully earlier with, like, we're the first ones that we sacrifice, you know, And. And why is that? And so when she, when Dr. Tibby told me the name of her master class was scale without Sacrifice, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm all over that. So, yeah. So thank you. And Val, I'd love to hear it from you.

Yes, it was really wonderful to hear all of Your stories. And as a mindset and energetics coach, I feel called to invite you if you're all willing to sit up straight in your chair and just take a couple of long, deep breaths, right? Because we've been talking. This is about work life balance. But how many of us take the time to take a deep breath throughout the day? So put a hand on your heart and on your stomach and you can keep your eyes open or you can close them and then just take two or three long deep breaths, inhaling through the nose.

And gently exhaling out through the mouth.

And just repeat that a couple of times on your own rhythm, tapping into your breath with a little smile on your. On your mouth.

And when you're ready, just come back to the present.

And it feels good. Doesn't.

Feels good to return to the breath and come back to the present. So I want to say that to me, work life balance is a decision that we have to make. So we talked about choice earlier. I think choice is a little bit of a weaker word because when we choose something, we also give ourselves permission to change our mind and choose something else versus when we decide. It's much more of a firm decision. Right? Decide means cutting away. So work life balance is a decision that we have to make and realize that we can't do it all, all at once. We're all in different seasons of our life right now and deciding that we're going to wear only so many hats in this season of our life. And then sequentially we can wear the other hats we want to wear but later, or we can map it out differently. But I find it from my own experience, and I'll share a little bit about my story in a minute. From my own experience, it's almost impossible to wear all of the hats all the time, but doing it sequentially is what's going to create work life balance.

And so I was burnt out for. For about 30 years.

And so much so that my body became extremely ill. I had an autoimmune disease, and more recently, I also had cancer. And when I received the diagnosis, that was my big aha moment. That really said to me, you know, you have to decide on certain things here. You have to stop spinning your wheel. You have to stop wanting to be the best mom, the best wife, the best, you know, business owner, the best whatever, you know, put. Put a name after this on all the hats that you want to wear. And. And so I made the decision right then and there that I was only going to be good at two things for now wear two hats. And one of them is to be the best mom I can possibly be. And two is to be the best entrepreneur that I can possibly be and serve as, you know, my highest self. I am divorced, so I don't have a partner right now, but otherwise, I would add, also being the best partner. But I can definitely be the best partner to myself.

So with.

What does that mean for all of us women living our life today is that giving ourselves permission to seek out support and help from others. I have no shame anymore. I used to, but I have no shame anymore to pay somebody to do my laundry.

When I. When I want to do all of those things myself. I just prevent myself from stepping into my greatness where I can shine, especially as, as. As business owners. I'm sure that you became a business owner so that you could serve at your highest level. There's a calling that's speaking to you and you know that you're here to change people's lives. And we can't do it if we're burnt out and if we don't have some sort of work life balance. And the other thing I do also is that I don't even think about work life balance because I am so.

Connected to my vision and to who I am in essence and to what my calling is, is that work is not work. It's just me being me. Therefore, I don't need to have that work life balance anymore because I'm just standing in my truth and the work that I'm doing is just part of my life and that's how I balance things out naturally. But yeah, work life balance, definitely. Especially us as women, so many of us have had the lone wolf syndrome where we try to do it all on our own. And thankfully, thanks to Dr. Toby and you, Stacey, and all of you ladies, Amber, you know, we're all trying to create communities where we're seeing each other first and foremost. We're all seeing one another and we're all recognizing the warriore in each other. But we're also trying to give ourselves the permission and the access to support.

Support.

So look at the support you can get in your. In your vocation, but also look at the support you can get at home, whether it's with your daily tasks. If you have children and they're still living under the same room, make them do more stuff, you know, instead of you doing it for them as mom, it'll help them as well. Doing from. Doing it from a loving space. And.

I lost my train of thought. All of A sudden thinking about my children, but.

Paying people to do all kinds of stuff.

That's what we're doing.

And.

And what I've noticed about changing my mindset around all of those things myself is that I started realizing that I don't necessarily have to pay for all the things where I get support. I could just do more, like bartering, exchange of service. What is your superpower? It's this.

Okay.

And what is yours? Maybe we can exchange those superpowers and helping each other out that way. And that way we don't need to think. I need to make more money so that I can pay for the person who's doing my laundry. Yeah, I need to pay for the laundry. But where are other areas of my life where I can do an exchange of service or greatness?

I love that. So good. Wow. So incredible. All right, Dr. Tubey, I'd love to hear from you because we're all saying, like, suggestions of things that we can do. Right. But how do we really. How do we really say yes, you know, to ourselves and be able to.

To.

To when someone else is needing us, hold true. Or we're exhausted and we don't want to do that morning routine because we were up late. Like, how do we actually do that?

Yeah.

So going back to the topic of today, work life balance, what does it really mean for women in life and business and leadership? And the reason I picked that topic was because there is no such thing, in my opinion, as work life balance for women. What we're doing is we're continuing. You cannot balance work in life. Something has to give, right? There's something's gonna. Something's gonna take, you know, precedence in.

Your life at one point. So constantly trying to balance that. Trying to say, how do I balance work? How do. So that term really needs to change. How do I balance work with life?

You.

You just can't.

And so what you have to do is set your priorities. What you have to do, what you have to say is choose what you're going to do in this moment of life. Choose the season, what you want to. You don't have to do it all at the same time. Right. And so if we take off the pressure from ourselves that we have to be all things all the time and.

Decide in this moment, I'm going to be present, fully being present on my birthdays. Okay. I was saying yesterday that, you know, like, the other day I got a really big inquiry for big order.

And I said, oh, I'm so sorry. I don't. I don't work on my birthdays. And they changed their date. And that is a boundary and a non negotiable. I put for myself. It's important to me. I only have one life to live. I want to celebrate my birthday with my children. I want to celebrate my husband. I don't want to work on my birthday. I don't work on my husband's birthday.

I don't work on my children's birthdays. I don't, I don't work on.

Sundays.

Somebody asked me, do you, can we come? I'm not, I don't work. We're not open Sunday.

And they said, okay, what other day?

I go have Friday, have Saturday.

And these are the hours that's choosing, that's choosing myself, that's choosing my priorities, that's choosing my boundaries.

That's.

I'm not going to, I'm.

Gonna go to. I'm not gonna choose money over something that's important to me. So it's, it's. That's the balance you make.

The balance is with are you whole?

Are you balancing your inner self? Are you using that resilience in yourself.

To make sure that you're showing up as the best version of yourself to everything? And I don't want to be there. You're not getting the best version of myself.

If I go do work on that my birthday, I'm going to be resentful. So as the best version of myself and for me to. You have to respect my boundaries. I'm going to set boundaries. I'm going to communicate those boundaries to you in a very professional way. And what happens is a lot of women don't.

I don't want to generalize. Sometimes we don't have those boundaries or we have, but we just kind of go with the flow because we want to be liked. We don't want to disappoint people. But what you have to know is that once you, you set your boundaries and once you start to do those people respect you more.

And you communicate that and they won't overstep it. Try. But when, oh, I'm sorry, I actually don't do that. Or. And you don't have to be, you know, very smart. You just nicely say that, oh, you know, little or whatever or, oh, as a matter of fact, you know, that's not possible. That's not part of my.

My beliefs or whatever, whatever. Your boundary.

Is having the confidence to be able to communicate that. And once you're kating that these are my boundaries and then people cannot overstep them and you begin to step out and become the best version of yourself. And that eliminates overwhelm and that eliminates burnout and that eliminates the need.

To always. People, please. So that. That's what I really want to encourage women. Mr. Class, this conversation needs to go on and on and on.

I really appreciate everybody, but it's just a lot of. To really unlock that code.

Do you think that men are better at setting boundaries and we're just now kind of getting around to figuring that out?

Yeah. Yeah, I really do. I think men. Yeah, it's so funny. My. I love my husband. Funny enough actually, to be honest. Let me take that back. He's. He has his. I don't think he has really boundaries.

I just think he has what he wants to do because I always love that. Yeah, he doesn't really. Because as a matter of fact, I have so much boundaries. I'd like his. I'll tell him that. No, we can't do that. So I think some men do, but I think their own. Most of most men, their goal is to provide for the family. You know, most good men provide for the family and do what they have to do. So their boundaries. Sometimes it's like.

Don'T mess with my family. Don't mess with my income. Don't mess with my. They have their specific boundaries that they have, but I think that they're more vocal. I think over life we've not been as vocal with.

Yeah.

So I think men are in a. In a space where they're allowed to be. And I think we're. Women are still coming.

Into that place that if I'm. If I'm. If I'm vocal, is that. Does that mean.

Does that mean I'm bossy? Does that mean. You know, I think we just have to conjure your communicating doesn't mean that you're rude.

So good.

Doesn't mean that you're bossy.

Question, Deborah.

But yeah, no, yeah, I think did Deborah.

Right.

Yeah. So I'm so amazing. I wanted to show everyone here and then we're gonn have one piece of advice, but I just wanted to make sure you guys saw Dr. Tubey's masterclass. I don't know if you could see my screen, but this is the resilientblueprint.com and do you want to just share again what they're going to expect and then the date and the time as well? And then I want to have everyone just basically everyone else on the panel after Dr. Tubey shares that share like Your biggest piece of advice for people starting today. And then also where people can find out about you and what you're doing. But Dr. Be, do you mind just kind of sharing first? Just the masterclass, the date time and your biggest piece of advice.

Yeah.

So the Masterclass is Wednesday, May 8th. The VIP hour starts at 1.

First, we're going to go over the.

Four growth areas that you need to focus on to burnout proof you and your business resilient.

We are going to go over the resilient business blueprint, the six. The six stages in that how to have more time for yourself and your priorities while.

And so it's going to be more of a. We're going to go through. I have the guest speakers coming in. So it's going to be a wonderful time. If you can block out that time for yourself, it'll be a great investment for yourself. And the QR code is up there. Love to see you guys in the room. I'd love to hear, hear from you guys.

Yeah.

And it's literally free. It's ridiculous. She has a VIP hour so you can pay for that to get extra time with her. But it's free to go, which is ridiculous.

So good.

And then just share like the one piece of one thing they can do today that could just help them with resilience or creating that work. You know that balance we're talking about. I know we're saying we're not technically there is no balance. But one piece of advice.

One piece of advice I would say is just to choose you, choose you, choose you and.

Choose you over and over again. And so just keep it simple.

So good. Okay, Deborah, So one piece of advice and then where people can find out about you. And this is the first time I'm hearing the actual new company name, so I know.

Isn't that fun?

Exciting.

I would just, I say structure. To me it's all about structure and building my day accordingly and not giving myself. And I think Val talked about this, not giving myself the chance to choose or not.

Right.

You work out on this day, you ride your bike on this day, you box on this day, whatever. Right on. On each day. So that. And then really plan, really put your hardest work first. Do not waste your time going through emails and stuff because that can all be done later. But it's really blocking out times for you so that it's there. And just as Dr. Toobey said, you know, you're not available, then that you know you already have an appointment. It's with you.

Yeah. And Then if anybody wants to, I think people are afraid right now or a lot of people are afraid of AI and so that's why I thought I need to make this really easy and uncomplicated and let them know how powerful it is. What I like to think of is if you can go back to the before the Internet or right when the Internet came out. Right. What if you had been so afraid of that that you never did it, you never went online, who would you be today? How would you be living? Maybe you'd be living a really calm, quiet life. Actually, no social media. I don't know, maybe it'd be just really mellow.

But.

But imagine really kind of how far behind you would be the rest of the world. Well, AI is.

On the Internet on steroids. It is.

There are no numbers to say how many more times powerful it is and it's going to change our lives that much. So that's why I started this. And if anybody wants to learn more, you can go to my new company which is Kensho Communication. K e N s h o communication.com.

So good.

Thank you.

And Amber, so one piece of advice and then where they can find you.

Absolutely. I know one piece of advice. My goodness, there's so many good gold nuggets here. So it's so great. I think I'll go with just find your tribe. Find a community that gets you, that understands that you can lean into. Just because it made such a big difference for me, I was just kind of going at it alone. I wasn't sharing. I was struggling and just we get in the grind of things. So find just your group, whether it's women, men, mix, whatever that, that really understand and that you can lean into for that support, for that accountability for that help. It really, truly does make a difference. And I think all of us here on this panel today can feel this. We can feel the energy. We can feel like we, we're all on the same page. Like Val said something that really, really everyone said something that resonated with me. But when you said, you know, you're, you're not in burnout when you are just following your passion, when you have kind of that north star, that guiding light and it's true. And so when you do find that community that, that gets you, that's on the same page, I think that's when I did really dig down deep. I always knew I was meant for more and that helped me to discover that. Right. They like pulled my potential out of me that I didn't even know was really there. So find your community and just lean into it. And then just to follow me, I think the best way is I'm on Facebook just as my name is here, Amber Bender, so you can jump there. And I know I kind of talked about the event I'm having this summer. It's in July. Would love to have any women that are, you know, just looking to level up and build wealth in all areas of their life. That's what it's about. So if you just jump on my page, I'm public, shoot me a friend request and then you'll be able to see the all the information there. But absolutely, yeah. Thank you.

And Marie, one piece of advice and where people can find you.

Okay. Well I had written down choose you but Dr. TB did a very good job of explaining how important that was. So I guess my second piece of advice would be ask for help. It is very challenging to ask for help. So ways that I ask for help is I have a female law partner who you know, we talk about self care and the importance and so we're accountability partners on that. And I'll say to my husband, if you haven't seen me emerge from my office in 10 hours, I really need you to come and pull me out of here and take me out into the fresh air. So thank help and, and, and that comes with, you know, delegating more. So ask for help. That's the number one thing. So good.

Thank you. And where can they.

Do you want anyone to find you?

Oh yes.

I don't need any more work right now. Just kidding. Probio.com San Diego's largest law firm and we're in up and down California, Nevada and Arizona and D.C. so if you have any legal problems and you would like powerful legal solutions, please let me know.

And then for those of you that know me and know that anyone that I'm bringing into this world is a heart centered person and Marie is the most heart centered.

Person that I've ever met. And she does it from personal but also from the legal side as well. And so I just wanted to let you guys know that added context. So okay. And Val.

Yes. Thank you so much.

Love you too, Stacey.

So I believe that a lot of our decisions are fear based and that's why we're trying to wear so many hats because we there either we're carrying shame guilt or we're having some hidden fears or past trauma. And therefore we're trying to be everything to everyone except to ourselves. So I would say my, my number one Advice is listen to your heart and ask yourself, what would you love and what is your zone of genius? And give yourself permission to say yes. Yes to that. And so I teach coaches and entrepreneurs how to do that so that they can gain massive confidence and avoid the burnout and take their business to the next. Next level and really operate in their zone of genius. So I just renamed my Facebook group. It's called the Coach Confidence Collective. And to piggyback on what Amber said, I think that it's very important to be part of a tribe of women and men. It's mostly women, but men are very welcome as well. Where we can really support one another, see each other and. And build confidence together and resilience. And that's why I love what you all are doing. And it was a very privilege to be here with you all today. Thank you so much, Stacey.

Thank you. Thank you, Stacey.

Thank you, Stacy.

Yeah, thank you guys so much for being here. I thank you guys for the comments. I. Sorry I wasn't able to get to them. It's a little different with the. Now I'm gonna. This is doing the thing. This is what doing the thing looks like. They literally changed the way this settings worked on Monday. And I tried it and anyway, here we go. But I just wanted to thank you all for being here, for coming. Dr. Shibi, I wanted to thank you for inspiring this and creating the space because your energy and the way that you show up for yourself and for others, I mean, it's changing the game in women and leadership and how we actually are able to do life with all the things that we're wanting to do. So I just wanted to. Yeah, thank you for that. And so for those of you that wanted to join her master class or even see it on replay, so if the day doesn't work, still join, because you'll be part of her system. It's the resilient blueprint dot com. And thank you to each of you for being here. I just feel like I want to give you all a huge hug right now. Like, literally, this is like, the most. Like, I feel a lot of energy from this. So thank you so much. I, yeah, really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, ladies.

Thank you, lady. And for everyone, Elsa, let's follow each other on LinkedIn.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

And for everyone, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity.