Jami Dubs Became a Leader of Leaders—Without Waiting to Feel Ready

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, this is cool because I met my next guest at one of the communities that I've been having the do the Thing challenges inside Modern Prairie, which is an amazing community that's really helping women find their voice, get empowered, and really show that there's so much to life that we could do at any point or any stage that we're at. And so my next guest, she actually joined the challenge when Laura Carney and I first did it and then she co led the challenge, then she led the challenge and now she's a leader of the leaders. And oh my gosh, talk about a space creator and what she does because she has just up leveled what leadership even looks like on so many levels in terms of what she's been able to get this group of women be able to do in such an activated state. And so I am so excited to welcome Jamie to the show. Hey, Jamie.

Thank you. Thanks.

It's so amazing. I've been loving getting to know you more through each challenge. And then this last one, I saw a whole nother thing. You even gave the dare. You did the video. I actually wanted to share what the whole do the Thing community. And I don't know, it's been just so cool to kind of see this evolution.

Yeah, definitely.

Well, I'd love to start off. Can you just share about you, who you are? Let's hear your story and then we can kind of dive into all the things.

Yeah. I live here in South Dakota and I'm a teacher, so I have a master's in special education. But I also, I switched over to English language learners about four years ago. I've also taught English to kids online in China, so I spent some time doing that too. So I spend as much time as I can outside. Now is not the greatest time at South Dakota, but we're coming up on some nice days. And I really like through the Modern Prayer. I really enjoy crafting and reading and drilling and doing the challenges and being involved in stuff like that. So that's pretty much who I am.

Yeah. So what do you find being a teacher and being able to do that with students and things like that? What are you finding is kind of the ways to really help people. People really kind of identify their purpose and what they're doing in the world.

Well, one of the things. So writing scores generally are low, especially with our kids getting them to do it. And so I had taken some classes a couple years ago and learned about student based learning, where they have choice and they are in control of their learning. And we're more of a facilitator. And so one of the things that they said was to do journaling, first of all, to get that endurance for them to keep writing longer and longer and being creative and getting their own ideas. And so I started doing that and they said, if it's not connected to the curriculum, so a lot of it's social, emotional. So then they have a choice. They feel like they have a choice in what they're writing about. And it's so funny because at the beginning of the year, the freshmen are like, oh my gosh, getting two or three sentences is so hard. And I said, I guarantee you by the end of the year, you'll be writing a page. And one of my freshmen last week, because they get five minutes, so they write as much as they can in five minutes. And he wrote all the way. There was three lines left on the page. But what I've also started to do is just how it kind of started with some of the challenges from the bucket list. I used them as prompts for the kids because I wanted to see what they would say about it. So it's been fun to see what their thoughts are. And also just one of the things I ask every year is, do you ever feel lonely? And what makes you feel lonely? And if someone else is lonely, what advice could you give them? Because often they're gonna say what would help them. So it's a way for me to get to know them and for them to just kind of buy into the safe space to. If they wanna share, they can. If there's something they wanna share. So that's been kind of fun too. And when you have talked about wanting to get this in the schools too, I was like, this would be great for enrichment or some way to get them into this generation with the anxiety and so much. Especially attendance is so poor since COVID and all these different things we're trying to do to get them back into the classroom and getting them to want to do stuff. But we have to build that courage back up and build up that place for them to want to come and have the desire and how it is when you stay home for a few days and then you have to leave. It's tough to get yourself to go as adults. But for them to say, I'm gonna make myself go is really difficult.

So, yeah, it's so huge being able to even ask people that question, because, number one, you're getting Them to express themselves and really identifying with maybe when they have those feelings, right, of being lonely. And then is there a space where they're sharing it or is it only just their own kind of journal that they're putting it on?

So they journal it. And then at the end I say, does anybody wanna share what they. I love that. So we also do thankful Thursday and then we do Friday. They tell me three things they learned. It can be anything that they learned. It can be at home. Like one, his mom showed him how to cook one of their traditional cultural meals and he was really excited about that. And then they tell me one thing that brought them joy that week. So the thankful Thursday I give them little topics too. So they can kind of decide what they want to do with that too. So I kind of give them like, okay, we're going to talk about somebody in the school who is somebody that's not a teacher in the school. Just so they can kind of see all their support system too and start thinking about who all cares about them. And you see their personality come out. So there's are some days when there's topics that some will want to share. I've had some that want to read their whole page during class, which is great. And then some that just. That don't. But the other day I. So I go through and I write in there. One was if you had any ability, money was not an issue. What job would you think you would love to do? And just the answers there were so interesting. But then I go through and make notes and say, oh, this is cool. Or circle things or star things or say oh, I'm sorry this happened to you. And watching them open their notebooks and realize that I answer and then showing each other and they're. It's so fun because it's a way we can communicate. Especially those that don't want to talk or language is a barrier for some of us, but it's another way for us to communicate. So I just think often, I'm not sure how often they get to express themselves or are taught how to express themselves too. And different cultures have different ways of doing that. So it's one way we can be on. On the same playing fields and they can make it what they want to make it. So yeah, some go deeper than others.

It's so cool because I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to get this the do the thing challenges in schools or in organizations. And the thing I still don't know yet. Cause I'm not in that world right now. But maybe we could talk about that too. But is the community platform, what would they use? Where would they put it? Right. I think a corporation, maybe they would do Slack or something like that. But hearing you talk, I mean, technically you're doing it. It doesn't have to wait, right? They could have the dare. They could reflect on their. It's almost like for anyone listening, I have a horse that I show, which is like, sometimes you don't want to. Did I ever show you that horse? Oh, I don't know if I have. I'll slow down for a minute just in case, so I'll show you my horse. I don't show everyone because sometimes it could be overwhelming to people, depending on where they're at. But I think you're ready because you're now leading the leaders. So. Okay, here we go. So for those of you listening, we're just going to talk through the comfort circle framework. Feel free to watch it on. Oh, yeah, yeah. And this is kind of like even the school, right? The kid that starts as the horse, where maybe they're wanting to stay on the sidelines behind the scenes, they're not wanting to engage it. So maybe that's them just sort of. Okay. And that could be even still, you're dealing with the thing that you're struggling with, right? And then you slowly then find your voice, which is when you start to journal, start to express yourself, maybe even ask for help, share a resource, things like that. And then you get more comfortable sharing your voice, which is when you might want to publish the book or things like that. And so, yeah, it's almost like the challenge being in schools, if there wasn't a community platform, you could almost do it how you're doing it, where they're journaling it down. And then those that want to share with each other, they can kind of that way too.

I also think we have different clubs at the school. We can't say we're associated with the school, but I'm wondering if it would be a club thing too, because we have a journaling one and a knitting one and a magic together. We have all different kinds of clubs. And so I wonder if that's what you would kind of start with too, is an after school one day a week where you can start out with that and then you have your core group that can start to go out and do more with that too, whether it be over lunch, during study hall, that kind of stuff too.

So, okay, so let's talk about Modern Prairie. So when you found Modern Prairie. What was going on with you then, and then why you decided to join and then kind of what Modern Prairie is too. Yeah.

So I actually. I did not have social media for a long time until my niece was born. And I didn't want to miss out on seeing her. So I got Instagram back. And so then I don't even know how I came across Melissa Gilbert. And she was having a Christmas special with Dean Dean Butler. And so I got onto that and she talked about Modern Prairie. And so I think it was right before Christmas I got on, but I don't think I looked at it much just because I'm just not. I was worried about the social media part of it. And then so I just kind of sat back and watched for that first month. And then they had their first book club, and so I joined the book club and was a part of that. And then I just kind of watched from there. And I don't even know how long it was before I even put my first post up. And so I'm not sure at the. What the school years of. I'm not sure how involved I was even in spring, but I think I started. So I did the book club and then there was a couple sessions, I think with Melissa where they could ask questions. So I did that. And I still just kind of sat in the background. And I think when I really got started is during the summer when I took one of the journaling classes. And then I started getting more involved with that. And then shortly after that, so that was like June. And I think we started in July with the Bucket list. And so that's when I really started investing. And I think that when we did the challenge and through the journaling a little bit too, but specifically the Challenge, we were able to meet people and see people individually. So I was able to in a smaller group, connect with people. And so just from there it has kind of taken off and I've slowly been involved with more and more and doing more and more and meeting people, having more, not just the posting and not just hanging back, but we talk regularly and keep in contact with each other and that kind of stuff too. So. And it's nice to have. We all kind of have the same purpose too, being on there, that we're there to lift each other up and to share what we're doing. And there's not a whole lot of my friends at crochet and stuff. I don't have a whole lot to even ask questions or show what I did. They're like, oh, that's nice. But this is a better way to connect with people that have a lot of the same interest. And it's made me even interested in more stuff too. So I've been able to. To make some connections, and that's nice to work through. So it took me a little bit to kind of get involved. It was kind of step by step, and then it just kind of grew from there. And first of all, I don't even feel like I remember a time when I wasn't on there. It does not feel like it's only been a year, but also how much I've progressed through because I didn't know much about it. So I don't think I really had any intentions when I got on there. Just to the book club was the biggest thing because I just didn't have. I tried to get involved in some, but I didn't know how to do that other than through work. And I kind of wanted something outside of work too, to do. So I don't even know how I figured all that out, but it was just nice to find a way to have a book club and still get together, not have to leave during the winter. Used to go do it, never knowing what the weather is. But also, as we traveled, I was able to get on and still be a part of stuff too. So that's kind of how I just kind of grew from there.

And it's so cool because hearing you talk, I think that's what a lot of people don't understand about community. They think it's social media. Even what I do on Facebook, I don't call it social media. It's like community. It's where the people gather. Right. And when you aren't sucked into just the group online and you're actually going to these really live events. Actually, in my world, I call it my people parties, but it's like book clubs and crafting and Q&As and all these things. And I know Melissa does this.

What is it?

Like, ask me anything.

Yep.

Yeah, Session. And it's so fun to see that. And then now that you guys get to know each other through the challenges, I know you're doing zoom meetups. And what is that new one with you and Kim? Tierra Tuesday and Rosa.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Tiara Tuesday. And it's a so many things. And it's almost like the community is the starting point, but then it doesn't have to finish there. It gets to just expand. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And it's also fun. I Think it's been great to even watch when people first come on, but even to sit back and watch some of the other ladies grow or change or especially just from the bucket list challenge, how much they. From being quiet and wanting to sit back to all of a sudden being more forward and having that space where it's not judgmental and knowing that it will not be tolerated. And there's a lot of stuff that you just. You don't have to worry about. You can kind of cut off from the real world to be in there and still have communication and you can be for some people are more active than others, and that's fine, too. And it's been interesting to get to know people because then I'm even being a special ed teacher. And with English language learners, sometimes you forget that there's so many different circumstances that people can be in. And so it just makes me even more aware of how can we include them, how can I support them? Because we all are supported in such different ways and what we need. And I think, too, that that's helped me get to know, to see how can I support this person or what is this person's need and learn about different situations that people are going through. Helps me learn about if they have a disease or learning about that from them, too, so that I know how to be more effective in helping someone or be more aware of what their needs might be. So that's been a big part of it, too, I think, especially in this last challenge.

The thing I got from the. I mean, there's a lot I got from the last challenge, but something that is stemming from it, which is exciting, is it's going to be a new challenge. It's going to be called find my people. And it was stemmed from the follow your heart challenge that I did with Laura in the group, because some of the dares people had, and you were actually one of the people that told us, saying, oh, this one's an outside dare. Some people actually aren't able to go outside right now. And so we actually were able to change some of the dares from a comfort circle perspective to be like, no, just meet the person in the community.

Right?

And, yeah, I'd love to maybe talk about that, because this is a challenge. I'm in the middle of kind of. I think you kind of saw how I work now getting energy around and just curious what you saw. And then maybe we could kind of talk about some brainstorming around it, too.

Well, I think that one's. Some of them are like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I don't. And I was like, you know what? The one thing too is I am very literal, very black and white. So when you say to me, it's very specific. But also I'm like, well, no, that doesn't always work because we were having a blizzard during the walking one. And I was like, well, that's not gonna happen. Or picking up fresh. We had some 40 below zero days. I'm like, yeah, no, that's not. But I was like, there's other things that you can do. You can adapt it. And it's amazing because my whole life as a teacher is adapting for these students. But then when it comes to me, I'm so literal. And so I wanted to make sure that people, because I had a few reach out to me and say, I don't know if I can do this part. I don't know if I can do this part. And it really made me start to think, okay, let's be creative and see, bader is there. But that doesn't mean we're all gonna have the same interpretation. And so I think that the power of interpretation is so different, and you have to form it to what you need and also to just kind of. It kind of just grows organically after a while. So it was just nice. Okay, I'm gonna give some suggestions then, so that people don't think that they can't do it or are feeling left out because they're like, oh, now, I didn't realize this was gonna be a physical thing, and I should have thought about that before. And it doesn't have to be. There's so many different ways that you can do the dares, and there's so much freedom. It's all our own journey. So you don't have to do it the way everybody else is doing. Definitely. And whatever you're comfortable with and your own pace. Because, like I said, the first one, I was very specific with doing the dares in the right order. And then I don't think I allowed it to be as organic as it could have been because I was so rigid with it. And so the next one, I was more playing around with the videos and that kind of stuff. But this one, I'm like, there was just some that could happen before others. And it just felt like it was more of a journey created for me rather than just trying to follow the path. It created my own path for myself.

Yeah, I'd love to maybe talk about also what got you to Say yes to doing the leadership role. So for anyone listening, how it works is when you do one do the thing challenge, depending on what community you're doing it in, we get to offer up a leadership opportunity. When you're running the second challenge, and many times it's a co leadership, and then it goes into a full leader on the next one. And so anyway, just kind of curious where that yes came from.

Well, I think I was really excited after the first one, and it. It really resonated with me. And so I think that being a leader of a cohort was just kind of the next step. And I think that there was also things that I didn't know the first time. And so I wanted to help jumpstart the next group so that they kind of knew. So I liked having the small group too, because it felt like I was able to connect more with them and ask questions about things, and I wanted them to be able to ask questions. And then when we had that meeting with you and me and Laura, I just think right then it just felt like it was the next thing to do. Like, we just all had these great ideas, and I'm like, well, yeah, that sounds great that I could move forward into that position and help gather the leaders. And I was still helping members that needed help find their group or had questions on how things worked and stuff. So it's just nice to have the. Depending on what level you need having that support. So it just kind of felt like it was something I was up for the challenge and wanting to challenge myself, too.

So the other thing, and I don't know if this is your teaching background or what it is, but you're a natural leader where you didn't really need much. I don't even know if I even told you what to do, because this is still new, what we're doing.

Right.

So, Right. Because I was doing these challenges in my group, and then I just recently started doing it in other people's groups. Really just in the last. I don't even know, not even long. And so I love how you just made it into this really cool thing. And I just. I don't know. Like, how did you do that?

Or is that funny? Because in the beginning, I often, even in my position, I'm the department chair for my department, so I'm kind of the voice of my department. And so I'm always thinking, how would this person want me to do this? And so for a while, it kind of took away from how I would do it because I was trying to make sure I did it right for other people. And so I wasn't really taking any chances too. So at first I was like, I think I emailed you a couple questions. And I was like, okay, I know that the challenge, you have it set, but you grow it as you go too. And so after I started asking questions, I'm like, okay. She trusted me in this position. So at first I was like, I want her to tell me exactly what she wants me to do. And I'm like, no, that is not why she put me in this spot. It was so she didn't have to do that and I could kind of create the position myself. So I had to sit back and say, okay, make some decisions on my own, and then just kind of see what kind of developed from there and what kind of needs people had. And it was just kind of a day by day thing too, to see how it was gonna go. And I think that's just kind of part of the process too, is like, I'm gonna grow more if I just take this. And I was like, she's gonna let me know if there's something she doesn't like so that I don't have to worry. And I think, too, I am such a schedule and a planner, and I think that's why I have really enjoyed getting to know you and Laura, because you are a little more laid back and kind of let things. And so I think sometimes I take that growth away from myself because I have to have it like this. And so I think too, that this has helped me to be a little more flexible even with myself, to just. It doesn't have to be a week out. It can be day by day or minute by minute. Just kind of seeing what's needed from there too.

Yeah. It's like when you do the challenge, then you're right. What you said was it's that next almost personal growth kind of challenge for yourself now is getting to co lead and then lead and then lead the leaders. And I don't know if you know, but so now you're the first person that's done what you've done.

And.

And it's so validating for me to just see what you did with it and share a little bit for the listeners, the bonds that was created from this group, the leaders of the group, and just. Just to show what you can do when you connect people together, the power that has for a whole community to thrive.

Yeah, well, and two, I think it's part of it is we see each other on there, but we never, we comment on each other's stuff and all that. But this was before the challenge started. We were able to get in our own group. I don't remember if we met before or not, but just having that group chat and all the questions, everybody can jump in. And so we were starting to get to know each other before and a few of us had already connected and knew each other. But then it was, I just remember there was three or four days where a good portion of us were put through the wringer. We just all went through interpersonal lives. It was just like we were getting hit from all sides. And so having that group chat to come back to and say this is what's going on and help each other through, I mean it was just the most bizarre crazy stuff all of a sudden. And so then we were able to, we started meeting on Sunday nights too to kind of see how it was going, see what help we needed. And then the one time, it was the second or third time we met is when I was starting to realize that we have a lot of people who have different needs. And so then we were able to talk through and I was like, okay, does anybody know this person? Because I'm not sure. I don't know them very well or haven't connected with them yet. And they're like, yes, this is probably what they need or we can and just seeing what supports we need and making sure it was a safe space for everybody. And also we all just have so many good ideas too. And we. So it wasn't like I was, wasn't ever on my own because we all were contributing to what was going on and bringing our own ideas and just connecting. And then the follow ups with you guys or the Wednesday night meetings too. Just having those meetings to touch base and see. And also as we went along I would just take little notes like oh, I should have done this different or oh, this would have been helped here just so the next one you have those. No. And each one is different too. But I just think that we already, with Modern Prairie, it's already a group of like minded women. There's just unwritten rules of Modern Prairie. And I just think that having those respected helped us to have that space to grow and to connect and work from there and see what's going to happen and should we shared ideas and instead of it, I just, I don't like. And sometimes these days we get so competitive when you're sharing ideas. I didn't feel like that way we all had ideas. We're like, oh, I like that one. Oh, I like that one. Or let's combine these two. So it was just being able to. I feel like I hope everybody felt heard. And so I just feel like we were setting an example for the rest of them, too, or so they can kind of see what was expected. So I'm hoping it would cause more people to want to step up, too, and be a leader and be a part of that, too.

And yeah, I actually remember you met the Sunday before the challenge started and. And that was when almost like the bond kind of starts, Right?

Yep. Yeah, I think too, just being able to. That's one of the reasons I like the classes is because I see all these people and we post on each other's stuff. But even book club or journaling, whatever circle it is in, is actually getting to hear their voices, I think. And that's why when people start doing more videos, I really enjoyed that because I was actually able to hear them. You can hear the emotion. And so I just felt like that helped me to connect better, was because I finally got to hear their voices and have a voice to the face I've been seeing. And there was just more expression. But yeah, the zooms have just been in for all the sections of the app have just. It's just been great to be able to connect. And even though we're all over the world and it's just crazy, even with the time zones that we were able to connect. Yeah. I mean, we had every time zone, so it's just nice to be able to. We were able to find that time and connect that way.

So, yeah, you're making me realize maybe I would do leadership curriculum. So when someone's going to be a leader. I like that you said that you like the freedom and the flexibility of it kind of being your own. But I also think maybe people that don't have the background you have are going to need more guidance and handholding. And what would that look like, do you think, from a leadership curriculum that would maybe make it easy for people to understand what to do.

Writing curriculum is one of my favorite things to do. Actually.

That's what I'm hoping to get in. I had my interview for my doctorate for the program because I applied in February, so I find out tomorrow, Friday. Ooh. So that they said, what's one of the things you want to do? And I said, research and write curriculum. So I think just maybe examples and just. I think even if there was not rules, but maybe group norms that we follow, especially people coming in and it was kind of interesting with this one because they had just switched up the app before. And so we were trying to kind of navigate the app. And then you had new people coming in.

Right.

And so even showing. We realized there's probably a lot of people that don't know how to use Zoom. And I think on Modern Period, they either had a class or are having a class to show them how to use Zoom. And I was like, that is so good because like I said, I didn't have a choice. Covid hit and they're like, here we'd never heard of Zoom. And now this is where you're going to be teaching your kids. So I have had lots of experience, more than I ever wanted on Zoom. So just things like that and working towards the little logistics so that they can get to the things that might be in the way for them to get to do the challenge. It's like first part, make it accessible to everybody. So I think that would start. But just I think it's important and I'm sure that you would expect them to go through a challenge first. Yeah. Or being a leader. So have that. But just kind of even a little timeline of what they can expect and just how to kind of develop their own route as they go too. So I don't know if that might be some videos and then maybe some examples of what you've done. And some might need more than others, but I think that might help some of them that might be a little hesitant to jump in and try. Just if they are like me and just need a starting point to go from. And also just because I'm so big on inclusion that we can still make sure that they know how to include other people. And maybe some sensitivity training about, okay, these are things you might encounter. This is what you can do to help with that. So I think that too. Just making sure that they have that awareness too, I think would be very helpful. So what do you think about.

Because the bond and this is good for anyone listening. Just so you guys know, and I'm sure you kind of are hearing this. It's like any kind of leap leadership opportunity that you get. Right. Whether it's inside of a app like this or a company or an organization or whatever. It's so important to know how you can get activated as a leader because now you're leading by example, like you said earlier. And I'm curious too, because you really had a special. And I know it was the group, but it does take the leader to be able to activate the space for the fun. And I feel like I want. As these challenges grow and they expanded to different areas, I'd love to have the leader of the leaders make it a fun kind of place. Like, you guys did the Brady Bunch song, you did the Tara. There's so many different things, and I'm just kind of curious if you have any thoughts around that, too.

The crazy part about that was a lot of this stuff just kind of happened. It was not like we planted ahead. It was like, oh, wait, what about this? Or, oh, wait. And a lot of it revolved around a situation where we were supporting someone. And then it evolved from there. They're like, I need help with this. And then it became a group effort, so I think that's part of it too. And just having that time. I think the meeting before helped because then I felt like I had an area like, okay, let's do something different. Oh, no, I don't know about that. You have to have that comfort level before I'm comfortable saying yes or no to something. Or, let's do this. To have disagreements and have that space where it's okay to disagree, I think is big. And then how to handle it from there. So it's like, we all are very creative. So we had lots of ideas, and if we could have used them all, it would have been great. And I think, too, we had some quieter ones in the group, but I think we were. And that's fine, too. Absolutely fine. But also making sure. Sometimes it takes a while before someone feels comfortable talking. So sometimes we have an answer for something right away. But let's just give it a minute so that the other people that need the courage to say something get that opportunity. And so just watching to see what they need and reading people's body language and just saying, okay, so. And so has something to say. Or I saw you writing something down. Just also being aware of. Because my thought when I went in is when I went to the meetings, my first thought was, I hope they don't plan on me talking the whole time. I hope I'll start it off, but I'm not gonna. My voice isn't the only one that needs to be heard. So just making sure. It wasn't like a staff meeting. It was the last meeting, I think for the first few. Maybe half hour, we talked about how the challenge was going, and everything was good, and we just moved on to. So it wasn't even about that because we had a couple that we needed to check in on, and we wanted to see how Everybody was doing. So I think it just. Things just kind of happened. It was not really.

Purposefully done, so that was kind of. I think it was just all our personalities coming together.

How did you open the space up for the ideas?

Some of it came from me watching what other people were posting and then we would talk about. I was like, okay, we need to talk about this. Or sometimes I'd put it in the group chat and say, hey, for the playlist. I said, hey, I'm gonna put together a playlist. Come tonight with a few songs. And then some people couldn't be there, so they were sending them in there. So that's kind of how, like, hey, tonight, let's talk about this. Because some people need time to prepare and process different things to come up with ideas. So not just having different ways of communicating with them so then they could come together and do that. So I think that's kind of how we. And I just. Every time someone, like, I just had my notebook, like, carry with me, and every time somebody had. I just kept taking notes of what ideas, and I'm like, how can we run with this? Or can we go back to this? So I think we just kind of threw the app and then the posting in the challenge, and then just kind of watching what other people said, too. It just kind of helped me to put it all together and tried to make sure that as many ideas as we could get in there, too, so that everybody had a chance to kind of express themselves, too. Yeah. Wow.

It's so exciting. So exciting.

Yeah.

Thank you so much. I'm so grateful.

Yeah.

For you. And you helped me see things in a really cool way by watching this whole process grow. I just really. I really appreciate it.

And this is different, too. And I don't know, outside of Modern Prairie, we have our answers, but we are such a unique collaboration. We just have a different. So I don't know outside of Modern Prairie what things look like, because ours is just such a unique. I don't know what it would be to come and do it with complete strangers on a different platform. I just know because we've already met some. Some of these women, so I don't know what that would be like. But I also don't know how to explain to people what the community is like in Modern Prairie. It's so hard to explain unless you experience it, because it's just. It's not like Facebook or anything like that. It's just such a different feel and just a different atmosphere, I guess. I don't even Know how to explain it to someone. It's just such a unique experience for us. So I feel the being a leader. This was a good group for me to be a leader in. In a safe space rather than I was leading people that I already knew and I already knew that they had the same. We'd been in challenges together before, so I don't know what it'd been like if I was in one of your other groups and you're like, here, I want you to be the leader of these people that you do not know. So I don't know what the dynamic would be or how I'd feel. That'd be a jazz.

A whole nother comfort circle.

Yeah. Yes.

So I'd love to hear, too, any advice you have around the finder people challenge that we might be seeing coming near you soon, which is basically inside of a community, helping people get to know people in the community more. Do you have any thoughts around what could be a couple fun things?

Well, I've thought about that too, and I think taking that time to. I liked being in our group when we had our meeting, and I said, okay, I have this one person that has messaged me a few times, and they're like, oh, yes. And they would explain to me their little background and stuff. And I was like, oh, this is someone I can connect with, because this is actually another battle in my life that nobody outside my life knows about. And so I think that the biggest part is as we were helping each other network. And so I think that's important is helping each other. And we have different groups and just being open to. And there's such an age range for us too. But it just doesn't feel like when we're in the group, it doesn't feel like there's any gaps or that kind of thing. So I think that for some people, like we said, leaving the house and going and meeting people is difficult. But what if even when you find your people by the end, it is just one person that you've been able to connect with? The pen pal has been great because I love to write. And so that pen pal writing a letter to someone, you are giving that time to write that letter to just that person you can't be doing. I mean, if somebody can multitask while they're writing a letter, that's pretty impressive. Even little things like that that just some of those members that maybe don't get out. But I just know there's three ladies that write to me, and I just think, oh, my gosh that time they took to do it. And sometimes they're four or five pages long when they write to me. And so I just think for someone to take the time. So I think that would be a neat one to. Even if it's an email or just whatever level that you're on with that. But when someone takes that time, I think that's something that, to me is. And I know I enjoy that time. I like to make greeting cards and stuff, too. So when I make something that's specific for that person, so that's kind of neat, too. So I think finding your people is for you, but also to help other people connect. Because I feel like I have these friends. I had this one lady I hung out with. We used to work together, but I felt like all my friends I knew were through her because they were Shriners and they worked at a school together, and then their kids did this. So they just had this whole network of people that were so different. And so I felt like if I met somebody, it was because I heard, because she knew so many people. So there's just so many different walks of life. If there's some way to also. I don't know if there's a. Some people don't want to share stuff, but if there's a way to know what other people maybe have already dealt with. And so, like, hey, I've dealt with this. Is there anybody, like, especially, let's say, breast cancer, I've gone through this. Do you need help with this? I can tell you what to ask. It goes back to advocating for yourself. And sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and you don't know what questions to ask. And I feel like this group, the Monter Prairie App, has helped with that, too. It's like, oh, I see, you said this, or, I'm sick. What do I do about this? So I just feel like there's some way to connect people like that to also help network. Yeah. I don't know if I'm explaining it well.

No, it's great because it's like a common interest, but also a common struggle. Right. How do you do that so people can connect together? And maybe it's almost as simple as. Because you could tell what books people read. It's funny. When I look at my books, I could see exactly what I was going through. Oh, that was my divorce. That was when I was having the kids stuff. That's when I was figuring out what I was doing. And it's almost like your book list is A way that might be a way to connect people together in that way, because you're seeing what their struggles are just by the books that they read.

That's really funny because anytime we're in a meeting on Zoom, any of the groups that we're in, and actually, when I was even in my interview the other day, I'm looking to see what on people's shelves, what books are on their shelves, because I love to read, so I wonder what they. What they have on their shelf. But I think the find your people want us would be so amazing to do in school because I think that that is one of the hardest things.

Yeah.

And maybe it's not just having friends, but even the adults who can be your support system and who can be your tribe surrounding you. I just think that would be so amazing because I think that is when loneliness is the thing that we hear about the most since.

Yeah.

All that going through, everything we did.

Yeah. I had heard this from somebody else. He used the words operating system, which has me now. I'm like, oh, these do the thing. Challenges are literally like an operating system for human connection and goal achievement combined. And hearing you say that, it's adding my lens to. Now, this find your people challenge, it is a school challenge. You're right. It's helping people find their people within whatever community that is. It could be an online community, it could be a school, it could be a company, something like that, Right?

Yeah. That'd be really great. And you need people for different parts of your life, too. I'm realizing they say that that's one thing that makes marriage so hard is this one person is trying to take care of all areas of your life. And that's why you have to have friends. Because one person cannot do it all. One person cannot help you through every situation. And so that's why we still need. You have those friends that you call like. My one friend told me. She'd come and tell me something was going on, something happening, and then she'd sit there and she goes, well, you gonna say something? And I was like, well, I was listening. And she's like, no, I want you to. I want your advice. So I'd have to ask her when she sat down, am I listening? Which worm do you want from me right now? Yeah. So I knew because I thought I was doing this because I was listening. So you have to have those friends that you go to to listen. And then maybe you have those friends or people you go to because you're like, I need tough love. Right now, you just have the different people to go to or like you said, being validated on some things, if that's what you need or I think that's important when finding your tribe that the kids need, there's that person to sit at with lunch. But I say, I have this friend, but I'd go, if we were going to work on a project, I'd go to this friend and I said, but this friend over here, I love her, but I would not want to ever be stuck in an elevator with her because she's going to panic and I'm going to panic. So it's like you have to have those that balance. If I'm gonna work on a project, I'm good with this one because I know this person's creative. You just have those different people in your lives that serve different purposes.

So, yeah, okay, I'm putting you on the spot. So let's pretend because the dares now and you've given a dare just so you guys are listening. Jamie, literally, David did a video dare of an amazing one that she crowdsourced from the leaders and was originally inspired from Veronica. But then all the leaders, we're able to do it together, which is amazing. So just what would be a couple dares, do you think, for even a school? I love the idea of. It's almost like looking outside at everything and focusing on a school. So would there be a couple things that you think would be fun?

One thing that I have started doing this year is when I walk in in the morning or in the hallway during bells. Between bells is tough, but to make eye contact and say hi to people as they pass me. And sometimes the kids are so surprised and they're like, oh, I didn't know what you were talking. So I think one of the first one would be if you went out too, as you go, and not just say, hi, how are you? Or give them a greeting. Because I just feel like you don't know how many people are not acknowledged during the day. I think that would be one of it. And then one thing we have started doing, and I don't know how you would do something like this, but I was reading a random article and it was talking about how they talked to people that were in their 30s and 40s and they said the last time anybody was so proud of them that they clapped for them was at their either high school graduation or if they graduated college. And they said that's the last time. So in our classroom, we've started clapping for everybody if they get called up to come up to the board for something or we had one student that his attendance is bad and he's still laid back. He knows. And he came in and they all started clapping because it was the first time in two weeks we had seen him. And so he was giving high fives around the room. But just some way of showing someone that you're proud of them or those kinds of things to make. That's so sad that people don't hear that after. You hear it a lot when you're growing up as your parents, but then when you're out. So things like that. Maybe where I started giving note cards, I was gone. And there was three days when I had to be gone. And I had some kids that did exactly what they were. But the sub was great. Gave me notes and said, these are the ones that did this stuff. These were great. And so I said, okay, I have. And I had a little pen. And so I was like, okay. So we called them up and they clapped as they came up and we gave them their. So I had handwritten cards to each of them. And I noticed one of the kids, he's keeping it in his book. So he uses a bookmark now. And so I just see every once in a while I see him taking it out and laying it out there. And I was like, I don't know, maybe he's never gotten a card like that. I don't know. So I think those little things, whether it's just sending, I don't know how to do that. Cause that's hard with addresses and stuff. But if it's outside the group, but letting somebody know they're appreciated, just sending that little note card to someone to take a little time too. Again, writing and taking that time. So those are kind of things I've started. And because of the challenges, I think I'm starting to think about these things and using the challenges in my classroom because it just gives me more of not just the teacher, not just the enforcer, but gives them more of that relax that they can. If there is a problem, I want them to be able to come to me. So just. I think that too with friends and finding your people, not knowing who you can go to is a horrible feeling when it happens. So having that connection. And I like one of the things you've said too in the last one is think about the things that we would do different or think about something in your life, but changing your mentality to how are we going to problem solve it? Instead of stating the problem State how we can solve the problem. And I think that that mental shift too, doing something with that or that attitude, that mental shift. And I think that too, okay, this is the problem. We already know that. But what am I going to do to fix it? Or who am I going to ask to help me with this?

So, okay, I'd love you to share. What is your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing?

I think the first step is just doing it. And it may feel overwhelming, but whatever. I just think everybody has their own pace and I think that's the one thing that people get. I'm behind. I'm behind. You're not behind. Even when the challenge is done, it's. Your challenge is not done. You're just done giving the dares. I mean, it can take. I remember one lady, six months later, she finally posted and we still were there to cheer her on. So it's like the dares end. You got your dares. So I just make sure the journey is your own and do them in the way you need to do them. And just if you force it, you're gonna might miss out on some of the growth. And so I just think take it at your own pace and don't get sidetracked. I mean, it's nice to go through it as you can, but life happens and you don't know what. What's in store for the next few days. And like, it's in the way. So I just think, whatever pace, finish it whenever you can. Whatever works for you.

What would you say to someone that hasn't done a do the thing challenge yet and maybe considering doing one?

I would say you can't hurt by giving it a try. And also, we were in another zoom for. And I don't know if this one you were in for Modern Prairie, but it said we as women are now at the age where if you start something as you're growing up, if you start it, you have to finish it. If it's not for you, at least started, that's fine. We have the right to say this. This isn't for me, or maybe not this time in my life. And so I just think if you just start and know that it's not. I mean, there's a lot of things that can happen just at least getting started. And if you give it a few days and even if you're someone like we talked about, the people that just sit back and watch and maybe aren't ready and maybe po.