Karie Kearney: The Recipe for Turning Pain into Power

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, I'm so excited because when you get to know people that are in your community and they become your friends and they know who you are and what you're aligned with and people that you like to connect with, they just like to connect you with people. And so that's how I met my next guest, through one of my amazing community members. Mike Hogan had been following her on Twitter and really loved the way that she helps impact, supports, inspires people, and uses her brick and mortar business as a platform to bring it online and be able to just really give people this motivation and be inspired to be able to do the things that they want. And so I'm so excited to get to know her. We just talked for a few minutes before we started, and I get to meet a new friend and get to. To introduce her to you guys. So I am welcoming Carrie to the show.

Hi, Carrie. Hello. Nice to meet you. You too.

This is so exciting.

It is exciting. I always enjoy meeting new people, especially people that are kind of on the same platform or level as far as energy.

Yeah, I could definitely tell that too. Well. Okay, so I would love to start off because I'm so curious what your story is and how you're doing what you're doing. So let's start there.

Okay. It's an interesting story. So I was married for 21 years. Halfway in, I discovered that my husband had a meth problem. Had no idea. Tried to help him for the next 10 years to no avail. Like we did. Flew in an interventionist. We went to counseling. I mean, we did everything and to no avail. So finally I said, I want a divorce, and you need to get a job so you can support yourself, because me and Madison are going to go start a life somewhere. And I ended up doing cupcakes for my best friend's daughter's birthday. And I had this whole spread out with balloons and colored letters out of chocolate. And I walked into her house and there's this big, burly guy licking his fingers. And he goes, who the fuck made these cupcakes? And this girl pointed to me, and he goes, you made these? And he said it in a way where I thought he didn't like them. I always want to vomit when somebody's eating my stuff because I'm like, are they going to eat it? And I said, yeah, I made it. He said, this is the best thing I've ever had. He goes, I don't like sweets. I don't eat sweets. You have to sell these. So that was the theme of the party. Everybody's like, you have to open up a bakery.

You.

Well, let's come up with the name. Let's. So all night, Ray's drinking and yeah, so I took my tipsy self home. I walked around the corner and I.

Looked in the mirror and I said.

Should I open a bakery? And the mirror said, hell yeah. So also note it was during. It was. We're about to have the. Not recession, but when the real estate market crashed in 2008. 7. 2007-2008. And so I was a realtor for 10 years. And so everything was drying up and I was freaking out because I had a husband who could not do anything and I had to support my daughter. So I called my mom the next morning and I said, hey, mom, I go, how about if I open up a cupcake shop? And she said, if you bake them, they will come.

I love that. That's so great.

So from there on, it took three months. Completely crazy that I did it in three months. And I opened up shop May 2008.

Wow. Wait, so how did you get the guts to do that? To go from real estate to then hearing people say they wanted it to actually in three months doing it?

Well, I've always had a drive and a huge entrepreneurial spirit. I remember when I first heard the word entrepreneur when I was very, very young. It intrigued me and I found out what it meant and I was like, I'm an entrepreneur. And I was in middle school and I was. And I said that. And so I always had these little side hustles besides my regular work. And I just have always baked and I've always cooked. That's just my natural gift. I'm not taught. I'm self taught. So when I decided to do that and then I had the support of some friends and my mom, I said, okay, I'm going to go look for a location. And so I started looking around and everything was so expensive. I was like, I cannot sleep at night paying $10,000 a month rent on something that I've never done. And then so after I looked at a bunch of places, I. My mom called me, so I had to pull over to talk to her. And I pulled up in front of this shop and there was. The window is blacked out and there was a sign that said for rent. And I'm like, oh, there's this cute little tiny shop. I have to go call the number. So I got off the phone with her, called the number, and I said, I'd like to find out how much the rent is for this cute little shop. And he said, I just put the sign out an hour ago. And I said, I want it. And he. And he goes, well, you don't know how much it is. And I said, how much is it? He said, $1,000 a month. And I go, I'll take it. So he came down, I signed, and I just had this blank canvas. And I'm like, okay, what do I do now? So I had to get taught. I had to have an architect drop plans. I had to learn about ADA Title 25 lighting. Just the health insurance part. All the sinks you have to have for every other thing. Just going back and forth to city hall was the hardest part. But I got through it and I opened in three months. Yeah.

And I'm here in the city hall, and it's just. I can imagine the bureaucracy that you're going through. Right. All of that, and then there's not a lot of help to be able to figure things out.

No. And at one point, when I was on my third visit for the same.

Thing, and you wait in line, you.

Get your ticket, and I go, is this not America? Why do I have to have that? Why do I have to have that change? And so this man goes, I'll help you.

Thank you.

So I became friends with him. Oh. And his wife.

Yeah.

So he helped me. But if opening something in that short period of time, doing brand new plumbing, brand new electrical is a miracle, it was meant to be. Wow.

And so it's been 15 years.

It's 16 years going on.

Oh, my gosh. So when did you then kind of go online and start doing what you're doing on. On Twitter?

Well, I've always been on social media, but not big on social media. And so Twitter was more of a. Just a fun thing. It wasn't for business purposes or whatever, but during the pandemic is when I went on there and then I met so many people. I want to do a tour of the United States and Canada and Australia and the UK on all these people that I've met and social media. The pandemic brought us together or something. Yeah.

How cool that you've connected with.

Yeah. That you just connect with.

Yeah.

Wow.

And so one would think. Right. And I remember when Mike originally connected us, I was curious where the connection point was. Right. And so when he told me what you were sharing on social media, it was like, oh, yeah, that totally makes sense. So you're not just showing your cupcakes on there. You're doing the whole.

It's just me.

It's every.

It's everything about me. It's my. I'm writing a book about it too, right now. It's called Second Chances. So a couple years ago, I was. My daughter moved out. I was living alone for the first time in my life. She took my two grandpuppies with her. Never lived without a dog my entire life. So I saw them driving away in the U Haul and I heard that Kenny Chesney song, There Goes my Life. I go into a depression. I get on the couch and I'm just laying there and I'm like, what am I going to do? So for like a year. And then I went through this horrible heartbreak for the first time in my adult life. Just me and this guy I was gonna live the rest of my life with. This guy met, and it didn't work out. But so I would. I would go to the shop and do minimal, come home and lay on the couch. Yeah, I went dark, and I don't go dark. And so one day I told my. I kept telling my mom, I go, I'm depressed. I don't know how to get out of this. And I used to make. Not make fun, but not understand people who were depressed. And I'm like, how can you be depressed? Like, what? I mean, I'm like, what's he depressed about? I get it now. I get it. So I was laying there on the couch and I was looking at Instagram, and I was following this rescue that my daughter had rescued two dogs from. And I saw this dog in this cage, and she had her bones sticking out of both of her arms. Her paws were impacted with mud. Her. She was skin and bones. She. Her face was all cut up. She was hit by a car in Tijuana. And so her eyes. And she's just laying there, and I'm like. I kind of feel like her and her soul called to mind. And so I called the rescue and I said, I have to have that dog.

And they go, really?

And I'm like, I have to have her. So she had to have her arm amputated. So after she had that done and then they put this arm in a cast, I went and picked her up down in San Diego county and I put her in the car and I looked at her and I go, it's me and you, little girl. We're gonna do this thing. And so we went home and I gave her love and fed her. Took her to the vet two times a week for almost a year. She had the surgery and the other arm had a metal plate put in it. And then she got cancer. She had a dog std. So I saw her through five rounds of chemo. Hmm. So then when she got cured from cancer, I got cancer. So luckily I'm cancer free now and I. So for a whole year, I didn't know if I was going to have chemo. I didn't know if I was going to have surgery. I didn't know. I went dark. I saw my funeral. I saw my unconceived unborn grandchild. I was just like, I, I, I don't want to, I don't want to get emotional, but I didn't know if I was going to live or die. So I just focused on Phoebe and we got through it. I had surgery. I had a full hysterectomy. It took the cancer with it. And she was right there with me. She knew. And we brought each other back to life. We gave each other a second chance.

I mean. Yeah, because it had to be amazing to have another living, I would say person, because I feel like my dog's my person.

No, she's my child. She's my little girl.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I had a purpose sitting right there. Yeah, right. You had a reason. Yeah. And it really got it. It kind of almost took you. Even though what you were going through was so horrendous. Right. You had something else to be able to think about. Someone else to be able to think about and focus on. Yeah.

Making her happy and adjusted and everything. And it was the best thing. My little three legger, now she runs at the beach.

So how do you think you do that? Where it sounds like even with Phoebe and then with the business you had, I've gotta have that. I've gotta do that. Where does that come from? Cause I think a lot of people, they second guess those types of things where you are doing the thing where you saw your business, you saw the space, and you were like, I've gotta have that. And then you saw Phoebe. You're like, I need that dog. There's something there that is really powerful.

There's something in my gut. I know I have a very good intuition. And if I get a thought in my head, that's going to be a good thing. I know in my every fiber. I know in every fiber of my body and I go for it and I just. And I'll tell everybody this is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to do it. And so that in turn has motivated people. They're like, if you can do that, I can. Especially when I opened up my, my business. My daughter was young and I was very involved in PTA and a lot of charities. I always did different things and I said, I'm going to open up a cupcake shop. Everybody was talking crap. You can't make a living out of selling cupcakes. And especially the husbands. Now they're like, well.

You'Re still doing it.

And I said, yeah, I am. You just have to believe in what you're selling and what you're doing. And a lot of my customers that are still customers to this day, they said, we started coming to you because of you. Because I became friends with them. I remembered their names, I remember their kids names, their dogs names, and I cared. And that's why I think I still have a thriving business with the same people and new people. It's the most rewarding thing. I still can't believe I did it. And because I'm doing that every single day, I feel like I'm in this bubble and unaware of everything going around me in the community, in the state, until I'm out into the public. And me and my sister in law are in line at Disneyland and there's this group of people in front of us and they were talking about all the best cupcakes. And they said, oh, Ms. Priss is the best cupcakes. And my sister goes, they're talking about you. That is so weird. Yeah, it's like more people know about me than I realized.

Yeah. Yeah. Because you're, you're changing it from the, obviously what you're creating with the cupcakes, but then that you're bringing, let's say humanity back into business, but you're bringing even business into humanity, right? Yeah. You're getting to know people, whether it's on your online platform, your business, whatever it is, you're actually learning who people are.

Yeah. And then I didn't realize that I was putting a face to my brand besides my logo. And I didn't realize how many people were following me that were customers. Oh, no platform. Because it's just under my name, it's not under my business. And I was at the airport in Dakota, Alaska, not too long ago, and this lady goes, my husband loves your cupcakes. And I'm like, are you talking to me? And I said, thank you. I said, oh my gosh. And then she just started talking about all the flavors and stuff. And he goes, I love your cupcakes. So that's kind of cool.

Yeah. Okay, whatever happened to the original guy at the party? Does he know that you started?

Kevin?

Yes. Yeah.

Yes, he does. He does. Yeah. He. I say I owe it to you. I owe it to you.

It'd be so cool if you did some kind of party at your cupcake shop and you brought back those people from that party somehow and did some kind of fun thing there. Yeah, well, it's, it's a group of.

Friends, so I still see him every once in a while, but I named a cupcake after him called the Big Kahuna.

Oh, I love that.

The tropical cupcake. Yeah.

So. And I know you share a lot of inspirational things. What do you think are some things that inspire you? And how do you actually come up with the things that you share? Because with what you're sharing, from what I heard, it's like you're changing people just from. I needed to see that today is what that kind of thing is, what you're hearing.

Yeah, I get that a lot. So how that works is I'll wake up in the morning and I'll have a theme or a feeling like I need to be inspired today. I need to, I need somebody to inspire me so that I'll post something saying, look at people, pay attention, be positive, vibe on a higher level, Put your energy out there. If you have good energy, you're going to attract good energy and you're going to attract the people that you want in your life or in your atmosphere there. And that's how pretty much I do it. Rarely will I post anything negative. And I don't mean negative, I'll mean sad or anything like that. It's usually uplifting because that's, that's so important. I am anti negativity. I can't be around people that whine, complain. It drives me crazy. I can't stand to be around liars. I'm a human lie detector. If me, I'm just, I just can't even listen to you right now. I don't have the energy or time for it. So I like to keep it positive. And nobody knew, except for my super close knit friends that I was going through depression. And I did a post, I said, I just want to let you guys know I haven't been feeling right. I went through a depression. This is how it started. This is what I went through and this is kind of how it ended. And it kind of ended with my dog pulling me out of it and my Friend's husband goes, wow. If Carrie can get depressed, anybody can get depressed.

Yeah.

Because people were shocked. They're like, you really hit it well. And I do. I was. I just like. You just put your happy face on when you're around people. Try to make people happy still when you're not. It's funny going through midlife. I'm going to be 58 and it's been a lot. It's been a lot I've gone through. I've had a lot of stuff. I mean, amazing stuff happen in my life and. But I've had a lot of traumas through some relationships in my past that I'm also going to write about in the following memoir called the Addict's Wife. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just. I want my negative experience to impact people in a positive way. You can get out of this. This is what you need to do things like that. Yeah.

It's amazing when you're able to take the things that hurt you.

Right.

The lessons you've learned and then knowing that you're going to be able to save someone maybe years. Right. Of heartache or sadness. Yeah.

And some might say it's dwelling on the past, but I don't think so. Because I'm taking something good out of what bad happened.

Yeah.

And you're just flipping the script. It's not bad. It happened to me. It's done. But people can learn. There's some steps that I wish I wouldn't have taken. I wish I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did things like that. Just to tell people your life is short. If you have kids, just grab em. Love them. Go find happiness. Yeah. No matter what you're doing, if you're alone, if you're whatever, you have to find your happiness. That's. Everything that I do is hashtag behappy every day. Be happy. I go up to strangers. I'm. I gravitate towards people that have an authentic smile on their face. And there's not that many of them. If you pay attention. I pay attention to everybody. And I'll be walking in a parking lot and there'll be this lady just smiling away. And you can tell she's a Geno. Yeah. And then I'll. And then I'll. We'll start talking. I. It. It happens to me everywhere. I'll be at the beach and I'll meet these random ladies or whatever and we become friends and we start talking and. And it's just. It gives me such a good feeling when people get me and you Feel understood. I feel understood.

Yeah.

There's the purpose. Yeah, I like. Well, I'd love to hear.

What is your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing?

I would say my number one piece of advice is if you don't believe fully in your bones what you want to do, don't do it. You have to fully believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can take it anywhere. You can do anything. You just can't give up. You have to be consistent. Consistency every single day will get you to the finish line. And you just have to have a positive attitude. And on the bad days, you just have to put on your happy face, your big girl panties and just keep going.

How do you suggest somebody keep going when it is hard?

That's a tough one. Sometimes I reflect and then I'll write down in a journal all the good, all the bad. And then the good usually outweighs the bad. And then I always tell myself, this will pass. This will pass. You always get over the hump. You always get over the hump. And you're going to get over the hump. And have faith. I'm a big person on faith and the universe. And so just believing in yourself, you have to. And sleep on it, pray on it, is what I would say. Talk to your friends, people that. And it's not always friends. Sometimes friends can be not positive for you. You have to talk to people who understand, people that have. That's in a like mind that can help you, maybe give you some advice on what to do next. And sometimes a lot of times it's fear. It's fear that holds you back. Sometimes people say it's fear success. I have fear of failure. So sometimes I'll hold myself back for 10 steps thinking about it for a while to make sure that what I'm doing is right. Less. I know for a fact in my bones that what I'm doing is right. And then I'll be full speed ahead. Yeah.

Especially because you already know how to.

Tap into that, which is really good. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. I have a whole thing that I've experimented with, which now I just did a TED talk on it two weeks ago actually. That's when Mike was coming down for that. And it's about. I call it my people, which is different than your normal support network, your friends and your family. It's actually people that you share a goal with. So it could be people that are business people or whatever you're going through or if it's a relationship, relationship people. And so that's how you're able to get through some of the stuff. It sounds like that kind of is what you were saying before, where you immediately feel understood by people who have that.

Oh, yeah, I love feel understood.

Yeah.

Yeah. My ex husband would look at me, he goes, I just don't get you. I don't. I don't understand how your brain works. Yeah. He goes, you're just like. Well, I don't know. I don't know if it has anything to do with it, but I'm tip. I'm a typical Sagittarian, so I'm fine with Wanderlust. I'll just. I just do it. I just do every crazy thing there is. Yeah, that's just me. But I do like to be with people. I get.

Yeah. Well, please share how people can follow along with you in your journey. And then also, if they're in the area, share where they can get cupcakes, too.

Okay. So my shop is called Miss Chris Cupcakes and such. And we are in Long Beach, California, not too far from the Long beach airport. You can find us on miss prisscupcakesand such.com I'm on Facebook, miss prisscupcakes and such. I'm on Instagram Facebook under Carrie Carney. Cupcake. Carrie. Or is it Carrie Cupcake? I don't remember. Anyway, K A R I E. K E A R any Y. That's my name. And that's the same for Twitter or X and Instagram. And that's how you did. Great.

Thank you so much for coming on. This was so good, getting a chance to connect with you.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

And I love how you're taking all of this and you're able to be able to help people through the things that you've gone through.

So. So, yes, I love helping people. That's my number one thing. If I was independently wealthy, that's all I would do. I would just do philanthropy. I would help the vets and the dogs and help people move up to the next level.

And thank you guys for listening. And if you have not checked out my Facebook group yet, go to do the thing collaboration.com or you could do the challenges and do the thingcommunity.com and do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity, create it.