Laura Carney and Stacey Lauren The Power of Collaborations :)

Great. And we are live on YouTube. All right, guys, this is gonna be fun. I'm going live on Facebook right now into the collaboration network group, and I'm showing my fancy skills, and I'm trying to go live on in the challenge group, too, just to. Oh, it worked. I now figured out how to do this, so that's exciting. So, all right, you guys. Well, I'm excited because I have on.

I don't even know. This is crazy, like, how to call you, because it's like, we.

Like, just this, like, transformation that we both went on just from being in each other's, like, orbits, you know, and. And having you say yes to me from just, like, a cold email, you know, of me saying, like, hey, I heard that you did this interview and you wrote this book, and please, please come join me, you know, in the fun that I want to experience and. And then seeing everything that you're doing in your world and how that's impacting so many people. So, anyway, most of you guys know her, but I have Laura Carney on, who's the author of my father's list and also co hosted the Bucket List challenge with me. And, yeah, it's just been amazing to see your adventure. It's been amazing to be a part of your adventure as we continue on with this world. But I'd love you to say hi and just kind of share anything you want right now.

Are you saying that it's weird to you to introduce me as author Lara Carney?

No, I just think, like. Like, it feels like. Like it's not even right anymore. Like, it's because, like, you're. I mean, obviously author is one thing, but the. I think what people.

Because I'm doing other things. Yeah.

It's like when it's like, people don't realize it's like this book that you wrote, like, it's, like, crazy. Right? When you think about just all the expansiveness that comes from a book, so it doesn't even feel. Yeah.

You know, it is for sure taking on a life of its own, which makes me happy that I made the choice back in. I think we probably talked about this. Hi, group.

Say hi to everybody. I can't see all of you talking like Stacy can, so I almost forgot. Hi. It's nice to see everybody.

Yeah. In December, I made the choice to actually say goodbye to the book. Did I ever talk to you about that?

Oh, yes. But please share, because. Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to hear. I'd love to have everyone hear. Kind of like, what that process has been like.

Sure. Well, basically I was getting to a point where I was starting to get feedback that wasn't always positive as far as someone being unhappy about their depiction. This happened with a couple of different people. Even though I thought I had been extremely careful and extremely respectful and positive about everybody in my life. If you're writing a memoir, it's just a thing that's going to happen. And it was becoming really like, it was tormenting me. It was becoming really stressful. So one day I told my husband, you know, we just have. I want to go to a Barnes and Noble and just say goodbye to my book. Because if I keep identifying with this, like, inanimate object, this thing that I made, then every time something like this happens, I'm going to think it's me they're upset with, you know, or like, I'm not good enough. Like I was just basically the book was me and I was a book. We were one in the same. And eventually I realized I'm not the book. It's a thing that I made. And it's almost like, you know, putting it out into the world was almost like waving goodbye to your kid as they get on the bus to kindergarten. You know, that's almost what it felt like. And I needed to let it be that kid out in the world doing its own thing. And now I feel like even though I did that as like a self protective measure so I wouldn't lose my mind.

It actually had a creative benefit to saying goodbye to it because I think somehow I knew this creative thing I had made needed to become something else and I needed to give it the freedom to do that.

I love that.

I love that.

I talked to somebody once about like when she wrote her book, it was like she had a chance for everything to just like live, you know, in this one thing. And then it kind of was this like release, right, of just being able to have it be there. And it feels like it's, it's similar, you know?

Yeah, I've noticed that with some of my. I've made some friends with authors now, which is not a thing I ever thought would happen. It just sort of, that sort of happened because I'm in a Facebook group for memoirs and we've, we've all sort of helped each other out at, you know, the different events we host. And I've noticed the same thing happening to them. Like, you know, they write a book and it's a really big book, right Them. It's like a memoir or it's just something really dearly personal, and then it becomes something else. Then it becomes. Now they're a teacher, and they teach about what they shared in the book, or they become an expert in writing memoirs, and now they're teaching how to write memoir. You could become any number of things as a result of your creative work that you put into the world. You're right. It just builds. It expands and it builds. But I think you have to have. You have to have that moment of letting it go.

Yeah.

For that. For it to become what it wants to be.

I love that. I love that.

And, yeah.

Let's say hi to some people. So I've got it in a few different places. Yeah. So we got. Sarah's here. Sarah Moses, you've been on her podcast.

Oh, hi, Sarah. I had a feeling here. Hi.

So good. And then Julie, you've been on her pod. It's so cool. Like, you've been on her. Well, what's cool is, like, so Sarah was part of the bucket list challenge, so she got to see it full. Full on. And then Julie wasn't part of it. We. She found you, like, after. And it was when she shared about her book that she wants to write. Hidden Gifts of Loss. That's when you guys connected. And I think that's the other thing that's, like, really cool. It's, like, just from, like, it's, like, from saying yes right now, all of a sudden, everything starts to expand, and people that, like, maybe aren't part of this one thing or this other, like, they hear it, and then it starts. It's just this, like, constant evolvement from just being a part of this journey, you know?

Yeah, well, Stephen was sort of explaining to me last night that.

He views my dad's bucket list, like, the actual bucket list, as this. This amazing treasure that I found. Almost like, what did he describe it as? I think he think he called it, like, there's a moment in Pulp Fiction. And I was like, that reference is lost on me. But there's, like, a moment in that movie where there's a briefcase, and whenever anyone opens the briefcase, all of this light just comes out of it. And it's like, you never see throughout the whole movie what's actually in the briefcase. It's just a briefcase with light that comes out. And he said, every time you share the list with someone, no matter what form you share it in, it becomes that for them. And I said, oh, that makes a lot of sense. Because, you know, Julie, for example, when I was being interviewed by Julie. She said that when she read my book, she's from Santa Monica, and she grew up there, and she was reading all the details about Santa Monica early in the book, and she's like, oh, the Rose Bowl. You know, I was supposed to find your book. This book was for me. And I said to her, that's so cool, because it's like the feeling you had about my book is the same feeling I had when I found the list. Like, this very faded discovery. And I think it's cool that, like, that's the. That's one of the emotions that I'm. I don't know, translating or transferring onto the people who pick. Pick up this. This art. And I do think that's what keeps happening. And, you know, I've been doing some very exciting stuff that I'm not actually permitted to talk about yet. But, like, I had a big meeting with people yesterday about that, and I was really nervous about it, and I thought, is it okay that I'm handing over my baby to these people who are going to do something else with it? And Stephen was just like, yes, because it's like, you did your job, you told your story about doing the list, and now they're gonna tell their version that's inspired by yours. And it's just the same thing you've been doing the whole time. You know, when you do the stuff with Stacy, when you do bucket list challenges, when you meet new people, when you get interviewed, it's always that. It's always someone else is interested in it and for their own reasons. And that's the beauty of art, I think. Right? Like, it's.

Yeah, it's so good. Yes. So good. Okay, we also have Kimmy here.

Hey, Laura.

Good to see you. Yeah. This is so. It's so amazing because.

It'S the. So I. As you know, I have the new group that I launched, which is the do the Thing collaboration network. And I think we're a living example, you know, of, like, what happens also when you're getting to do a collaboration. You know, from just the beginning of. Of us meeting you saying, yes, we did the podcast interview. We did the expert panel for just the book challenge first, you know, and then we decided to do the bucket list challenge, and then you brought the most, like. Why is the word exquisite? Coming up. But, like, the most.

It was exquisite. Yeah.

Like, experts together for us. If you guys have not listened to that yet, it is, like, literally, like, a really. Just incredible, just, like, beautiful way to bring all these people with such just deep Hearted purpose in this one place as we were planning this challenge. And it really got us into the. Into the energy, you know, of what was. What was going to be, and so. And so we'll even just start there. Just that collaboration alone was just kind of like the beginning of. Of this, you know.

Well, what I've learned is that like attracts like. And one thing I struggle with as a person who, you know, I'm not proud of it, but I think I'm probably a person who likes security and control. I like to know what's going on. It's just I tend to be very cerebral. I mean, go figure. I've been a copy editor for most of my career. You know, I like, like making things. I like making things just so you know. And if you're gonna be out there in the world taking risks with your life, that's just. It's just not gonna happen. It's gonna be messy. I mean, I know that's what you teach all the time, but it really is. And you have to get really good with uncertainty. You have to learn that when you let go, sometimes wonderful things happen, and that the people who you want to be with, who you want to take with you on this journey, sometimes you can't. Sometimes they have their own paths they have to take. And that doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means they're on their own path. And you have to be willing to go alone and believe that you're going to meet kindred spirits along the way. And, of course, I feel that way about you, and I feel that way about everyone who was in that expert panel we did. And, I mean, they were able to give me advice as I was doing my dad's list, and I was able to give them advice as they were doing their journeys. And I really do think now that that's how it happens, that as you go along, at first, if you're doing what feels like an impossible mission, no matter what it is, you feel like I'm a crazy person, you know, Like I'm completely alone in this, and everybody I know is gonna think I'm nuts and reject me. And that might happen a little bit, but just steel yourself to it and just, you know, let it happen. Because you are gonna find, as you put it, your people. You are gonna find. And your people doesn't just have to mean a community doesn't just have to mean, you know, like a group of people who are standing there clapping for you. It could mean people who are just like, you and they're going to help you and you're going to help them. And that's what I just keep discovering over and over again.

Yeah, I mean, it's the exact kind of like reason why when you're feeling like, I think a lot of people, they'll stay in that like, I'm a crazy person feeling. Right. Where then they won't.

And then they give up. Yeah.

Either won't do it.

Right.

They, they. I have a saying. I'll share it for when the TEDx talk comes out. But anyway, like, there's like pretty much what, what happens there where it's like, yeah, you're just basically giving up and not filling your, your dreams and then. Or you actually get with people, shared goal. Right. And you're able to actually do it. And I think you're, you're a perfect example of that. Even right now where you just said like, you've been bonding with authors. Right. Because like this has been a journey. You like, it's a whole nother journey where you're starting to. Not that you're not connecting with other people, but like, because your dreams expand and then when you're able to now re. Identify with people that you are, it helps you feel better. Like if comments aren't good, they've had that experience. Right. You know, whereas maybe someone else can't relate to that because that, it does give you a reason to like, not want to do anything sometimes. Right. Like if you're, if you're feeling like the pull from whatever that is. But when you're with people that get it and understand, it changes everything.

Well, I think most of us are raised, I don't know if this is true globally, but I think in our country it's true. I think most of us, especially of a certain generation, we're raised to fit in. You know, in your classroom as a kid, it was like you didn't want to be the problem kid, you know, and you want to be this, the A student and the good girl, you know, and it's like to have that mentality and I think within our families most of the time as well, although our families all have their own complications. But it's like to have that mentality for so long and then to recognize your creative spirit and like the hallmark of being a creative spirit is branching out and doing your own thing. That's very difficult to trust that because you've been taught not to trust it for so long. So I, but I do find that that's what happens. Like, like just Attracts, like my friend Turon likes to say. He's this really great activist I met who's also a school superintendent. He's just this great educator. But he likes to say iron sharpens iron, which I feel like is a really cool thing, because it's like, you know, look at who you're getting advice from. Like, pay attention. Like, you know, as my grandmother used to say, what. You know, what's the source? Because. Yes, and another thing I think we've talked about before is one thing I like to do is what Brene Brown always recommends, which is she writes down the five people whose opinions matter. Oh, I like that.

Yeah, that's so good.

Because you just have to be careful. Like, whose feedback are you listening to as far as, is it going to help you go where you're supposed to go? And with a lot of these creative pursuits, it does feel like a calling, you know, it does feel like something has asked you to do it, do it, as opposed to you just deciding. So it takes a lot of faith to do something like that.

It really does. Yeah, it really does. So continuing on with our journey, so we did the expert panel, and then we did the bucket list. And, like, I just. I feel like I learned so much from just being a part of your.

Your energy, your world and who you are. And I've told you this before, I think, but, like, some of the things that I really love about you are, like.

Well, I love how much you give to the people and how much you care. You know, that, like, what you're saying is, like, resonating, you know, with them. And I think the. The relatable part that, that you bring so much is you said it earlier, and I wrote it down, but I don't think I could read my handwriting. But it was something like, where you make things just so right. And so you've. You've been. You said something like, make things just.

So where I would like.

So.

But the fact that you've been able to accept, expand, you know, like, through that, I think that's what really connects with people, because so many people are living in that place, and it's really hard to come out of it. And I feel like you're just a perfect example of, like, when you're tapping into the calling or tapping into something bigger than you, how you're able to, like, finally, you know, move beyond it. And the other thing that I like, I love that you say yes, like, that part where you're able to, like, when you feel it, you're like, yeah, let's do that. But I also love seeing you say no.

Oh, really? Yeah.

When it's like, not when you're not feeling it. Because I'm sure I'm someone that struggles with boundaries. Right. And so, like, it's a really good modeling for me when I get to see, you know, when you're like, okay, yeah, I don't. I'm not able to, like, fit this in or whatever it is. Like, I love that. And then I love that you speak, like, what's, like, true. Like, you.

You.

You stand up for, like, what you believe, you know, in. I think, like. And no matter. It feels like. Not that I want to say, no matter what the risk, but it's not. That's not even. It's just you're so convicted, you know, in, like, what you want that you're not scared to say it. And I think that's a really good. Like, it's almost like unexpected things that I didn't expect to learn, you know, from being with you. And I love the modeling that you. That you portray, you know, from that.

Yeah, Well, I mean, if we always just bowed to peer pressure, nothing would get done. Yeah. And I mean, I think you're talking about instances where I insist, you know, that nobody use their phone while driving. They're a part of a live or. You know, I mean, the thing about it is, it's like, that's true to me in my world, and that's real. Like, I don't ever do that. And, you know, nobody I know would dare call me while driving. Like, that's just the world I live in, because everyone knows that's my policy.

Yeah.

It is kind of weird in general, I guess, to have policies. But, like, at some point when I learned the science behind it, it wasn't even just about my dad anymore. It was just the science behind it. I couldn't.

As a loving, caring human being, I couldn't abide by it. Even if it is a thing people do for convenience, because most of the time they do. And they don't have any association either with the science behind why it's actually too much for your brain or with someone could die. They just don't. And I understand that. So I just have to communicate it in a way that is clear and that makes sense. You know, I don't do it with emotion. I know a lot of people who do it with emotion. And that's a problem because, like, you can't just go around getting angry.

Like, no, people don't tend to Listen, if you're getting worked up all the time.

Yeah.

If you just say, this is just how it is for me, find. So, I mean, I guess in a way, even though it started as my activism, it has become something that has helped me, just as an individual, get comfortable with how to say no to things. It kind of reminds me sometimes of, like, when I used to work for primarily women's magazines, like when I was at Good Housekeeping. I remember there used to be these articles for a while there where they would say, hey, if you're on a diet, don't say, I can't eat chocolate or can't eat ice cream. Say, I don't. I don't eat ice cream. I don't eat chocolate. Because it's like, there's something about the I don't, as opposed to I can't that makes you feel like you're owning the choice. And it's not a choice that's been forced upon you, and it actually makes the diet more effective. So I think I just try to apply that mindset, like, here's what I do and here's what I don't do. Yeah.

I think that's kind of cool, like, to even have your, like, what we were saying earlier, like, have your own internal policies, like, what are your, like, true beliefs that, you know, feel strong to you, that you're able to then, you know, own that. Right. Own that language. Yeah. I just.

I love that. And it's cool. It's cool in a way that I'm being asked to do these things, like, to do these interviews where someone could potentially be driving while watching.

Yeah.

It's like, I'm not saying to whoever is conducting the interview, hey, here's what you need to do all the time. I'm just saying, here's what I need.

I love that. Here's what I.

And at least there's one voice saying that probably no one else who they talk to is going to say that. At least there's one.

So true. Yeah. And Julie just said, finding your voice and meeting all of you amazing people has taken my life to a whole other level. So good. And then she said, having a community changes everything. And. Hey. Hey, Shawna. Good to see you. So, yeah. So, so good. So let's talk about, like, so the Bucket List challenge. That was two weeks. That was in January, for those of you that weren't here during that time. And we basically got to do different. It was inspired from Laura's book and what that did for the community. I think the Episode. We did an episode kind of on that whole thing. So we won't get into like the details of it, but the high level, like.

The, the reason why it was so like life transforming for like the do the thing community was because of the, the, the book really, you know, because of the people that read it and even the people that were part of the other people that read it, you know, like it sort of transformed everything. It gave us a deeper purpose, a deeper meaning. And it also.

It was a really great example of showing how like it doesn't matter where you're at, like you could, you could change at any time and you can expand through these micro movements, you know, and sometimes yours were more than micro, but it was just, it was just such a great experience, I think for everyone to be a part of that and then for you to come in, you know, each week and help people on that journey was, I mean, unbelievable.

Well, yeah, I mean even like what my mom said that I ended up putting in the book, this list was for a 29 year old, not a 38 year old. You know, that was one of the first things she said to me when I said I'm gonna do this because my dad was 29 and living in 1978 when he wrote it, you know, and I was 38 and living in 2017 or 2016 when I decided to do it. And very different times, you know, very different people really, if you think about it like a woman of my age in our time versus a man, a very young man in his different goals to just different worlds. And. But I think that that was part of, that was part of the emboldening process for me was that instead of living as like 38 year old me in 2016, I got to have like six years of my life where. And I think even now, still, it's still happening. But definitely for those six years of my life, I was looking at the world through the eyes of a 29 year old man from 1978. So I mean, I think that's why it feels almost like a time travel movie to me sometimes, like back to the future or something. Because it's like, that's weird. Like, it's weird to look at your life through the perspective of like, what would my father be thinking if he were living of the stuff I'm doing? And I started noticing things like, oh, how I'm treated because I was a 38 year old woman that I didn't notice before. Because sometimes I think as we go through life the way other people Treat us, we just take as a given, you know, or. And not even just how people treat us, but what people think we're capable of. Mm. You know, how people. Other people define us because we. We absorb that stuff and it affects how we define ourselves and what we think we can do. And if I'm now suddenly following the dreams of a 29 year old man from 78, like, I'm gonna have to adjust what I think I can do. So as I said, I did. It was a very empowering experience for me.

Yeah, no, for sure. And I love that when someone hears about the book and then everything that you did during that time, you would imagine that you've been doing that stuff all along. Right. Like they would. They'd be like, oh. Like it would be something like you're normally like a risk taker. Normally, like into adventure. And that was what I think was so compelling for everyone because it made the way that you wrote the book. So for those of you that haven't gotten. Get my father's list. But for.

I better get it because you keep talking about it.

I love it. Yay. Yeah. No, so good. Yeah. Get the book.

This isn't a plug, but you keep mentioning.

Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, for sure. And I, and I. And I. Is this the one? Do you have this one with the signatures of the people?

No, that's in the other room.

Okay.

So Steve, my husband's getting it for me.

Oh, yay, Steven.

And so, yeah, I think that's what it is, is it makes it. You make everyone seem like it's possible for everybody. Right. Because normally when you see taking risks or doing adventures, they've already been doing that stuff. Right. And while you're already really accomplished with the stuff that you were doing, it wasn't in this way, you know? Oh, good.

Yeah.

Can you share the people that weren't part. I love that. Yeah. So, so good. So like on. That was on your book signings, right? People signed.

That's the mayor of Montclair. The mayor of my town bought one.

Yeah. I mean, you know, it's.

A friend of mine told me to do that because I was like, would you have any advice? I'm about to launch my book. This was a year ago and she had just had her book come out. She's like, yeah, have everybody at the event sign your book too. And I'm so happy I did that now because it's like I get to show people this document. It's almost like a yearbook. And it makes sense that I would have all these people do it. Because the other really important part of my mission, and I think this is what we were trying to teach in the Bucket List Challenge. And sort of what I was talking about before is that I just had so many people help me.

Stephen always says I'm the container of my father's list. I was the force keeping it going. But really, people just became more and more invested over those six years, and they were excited to be part of it. So to have people be excited to come to my event, and then I can say to them, will you sign my book? And they just, like, they light up, you know, oh, my signature. And I think that's so important because it's like. I don't know. I just feel like part of what I'm here to do is to lift people up with me.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Well, can you share? So what. What came for you, like, by being a part of just even, like, the Bucket List Challenge and just being a part of everyone's experience. Like, what. What's kind of the. Well, we'll use you, Julie. Hidden gift.

Behind that whole kind of like, experience experience, Was there anything that feels compelled, Felt, like, compelling for you?

I think it is similar to, you know, I mean, you haven't mentioned this yet, but for the people in your group. Stacy and I are now teaching the Bucket List Challenge again for Melissa Gilbert, which is. It's a private group, and we might do it again later, but I hope it's okay for us to talk about that. I'm not going to go on about it, but I have an interview with the actress Melissa Gilbert, and then she wanted me to do something else. And it was in the middle of us doing the Bucket List Challenge, and I was like, oh, I have this great friend, Stacy, Lauren, and she teaches these classes, and maybe we can collaborate again and do this with you. So we're about to do it again, but we just had the book club part of it, and they were interviewing me. They have, like, someone who runs their book club, and they're interviewing me. And the people who had read the book were sort of like. I think it was one of them got on and she was reading my words back to me from the book. We had, like, five or six different sentences highlighted and telling me how much those sentences resonated with her. And I think when we did the Bucket List Challenge, it was like that, too. It was just like. It was so different from me just going to a bookstore, you know, for those previous six months. I had been going, you know, 20 different bookstores all over the country, and just standing up and doing a talk, and then you get a Q and A at the end, so you do get that audience involvement, and then people come up to the signing line. So, I mean, that was always my favorite part was the signing line. I could actually have conversations with people, and they would start to tell me their story. I think it was because I had been so vulnerable and open with sharing mine. And I always feel like that's where the magic is happening, when someone comes up and connects. And so when you asked me to do the challenge, and we had, like, a couple different dates planned, I think, and then eventually we decided on January. And that actually ended up being perfect for me because I was coming off of this tour, and I was ready to do the next phase of this whole thing. And to have that interaction with your community and to have it happen so fast, you know, like, to watch transformations in people just from. Not just from reading my book, but from going through the steps of what I did and recognizing, oh, this is, like. This is true for everyone. The thing that I did, it wasn't just true for me. Anybody could change their life if they just take these steps. And maybe I don't know if they need you and I as guides, but. Or you and me. Sorry, I lost my copy ability for a second. But, you know, like, I don't know if they need us or they just need, like, the steps written down, but I do think there's just something about having that community. Like, my dad wrote this list in 1978, and he didn't share it with anyone. He put it away in a wallet. And he didn't, like, no. Like, literally nobody but my mom. And he knew a lot of people, and nobody knew he had this. And to see all of his friends show up at my reading in Delaware, and they're like, oh, my God, it's so something he would do. But I never knew he was doing it. I just think there's a lot to be said now for, if you have a goal, share it with people. Don't be afraid. Because I think people do get very afraid. They don't want to talk about it, because then it's like, oh, well, look at how foolish I'll look when I fail. And that's not, I think, how it's supposed to work. I think it's like, so now, basically, I've been taking, like, huge swings in my life with things that I've been doing, and what I'll do is like, I'll be very selective about it, but I do have, like, certain people I will tell about, process with the huge swings. And I don't hide it because I do need to talk about it because it's what I'm doing. And I don't. I don't get, like, oh, well, what if it doesn't work out? Because I don't care what those people think. If it doesn't work out, we don't have to tell everybody. Like, we're living in a time where people share everything on social media. Like, you don't. If you're working on something, don't tell everybody about it, but do tell people and do share it, because it just, like, I don't know. You don't know who might be praying for you. And it makes it. The energy of it just. Just lifts up. It gets more powerful if you share it, I think. And I think that's what your group does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just gonna say. And what's really good is when you're with people that maybe you don't have, like, they don't know who you were sometimes, you know? And so it kind of like, lets you be who you want to be even more, because they're not, like, whole. It's not.

It's.

There's not this, like. Anyway, it just feels more aligned sometimes, depending on what your situation is with your personal network.

Well, I think both could be true. I think there's a freedom to your group because it's private and because there are other people there who are also, like, reinventing themselves. So you're sort of kindred spirits in that regard. But I also think there's something to be said for those people you've known your whole life, because those are the people who, when you are going through these big changes and you're sort of like, where's the ground? I can't find it. They can help you and say, hey, you know, you're still you, and I know who you are, and you don't have to worry about this transformation you're going through because you're never going to compromise yourself. Like, you're still going to be the same person I know you to be. Like, that's really important, too.

That's such a really good point. I love. I love that you just said that. Oh, Shawna said she got to meet Melissa Gilbert when she did a book signing in her town. She's such a sweet person. So good.

She's really nice.

Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about this prairie pioneer project, if we can. Yeah, it's like, it's really cool because, you know, you. Yeah, I got to be a part of the book club, which was, like, amazing. And that's what I wrote down you said earlier. It's like, it is that it's like this. Bringing this. Now you're bringing it all to life, right? Because you're hearing other people's feedback and then they're sharing their own story. And there was just such beautiful, beautiful moments shared through that. And so now we're going to take it on the road, you know?

Yeah, take the show on the road. Like I've said, I love it. When he said, I heard from Leslie Kane yesterday. She wants to do one.

That's awesome. Oh, yeah, I love her. She's a. Why not today, right? Is it. Yeah, that's great. You know, I love her. Yeah, no, it's. It's cool because now it's like we're getting to. So this is. It's new for me, you know, because I'm like, I've always done it for my own people. And so it's. It's like an expansion now where now it's like, okay, I'm getting to know another audience, which is. It's really exciting, but like. Yeah. So just. Do you want to share just a little bit just about how you're feeling about doing this and what this feels like to you?

I mean, I just was so excited you were willing to do it because I wasn't sure how much of what you do with do the thing is sort of, like proprietary. I mean, obviously it's your thing. So it's like, this is. This is a collaboration and I wanted, you know, it was a little bit nerve wracking for me because here I'm taking two different areas of my life, meaning my relationship with you and then my new relationship with the people at Modern Prairie and just combining them and like, hoping it works.

But I find, like, you know, this is a perfect thing for us to talk about in this particular live, because really, that's what I'm talking about, is what collaboration is. And I mean, you've actually seen me experience this because, you know, me being me, I'm gonna, like, talk about it when it happens. I can't not talk about it. Like, I'll sit there and watch you guys talk to each other in a meeting and I'll just be like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. These people are working really well together. And it's happening because I introduced them and like, in my book, gave birth to this. And, like, so much potential for you working with them in the future. And, you know, I don't know if that's a thing that. I mean, I didn't realize this when I wasn't creating collaborations with other people. That's such a beautiful experience to have. When you're the reason. I mean, I'm preaching to the choir here, because you do this, like, regularly. But when you're the reason that two other people got together, two other people who can really help each other meet, and it's not just like a love connection. Like, it's like, that's what I think of with matchmakers. But really, I've become, like, you know, just. Just by the nature of the work I've been doing over the past six or seven years now, I've become someone who has a very wide network. So if I meet someone and I can think of someone else who's going to help them, I can put them together and it's really fulfilling. And I think that's what is making me the most happy about this Prairie Pioneer Project.

You know, it's so cool. And then the. The. There's so much cool. There's so much amazingness about it. I can't wait to, like, do it with them. They're just. It already feels so good. Like, the energy that I felt on that zoom. Everyone had their camera on. It was like, you know, just like. Like 120 people. You know, it's just, like, so such a cool experience to just even be a part of that. And the surprising thing through this, I mean, there's a lot of surprising things, and we'll kind of, like, probably download it after. But.

Their team is amazing, and. And we came up with this whole thing with the Prairie Pioneer Project. And then all of a sudden, they were like, well, why don't we just call to do the thing challenge? And I was like, really?

And so. Because at that time, I was just doing it because I wanted to stay with you. I didn't. Like, I thought my logo and my stuff would be somewhere, but I, like, didn't know, like, what it looked like. And they. So now this thing that they've just, like, done where they were like, why don't we just call to do the thing challenge? That makes sense now. I'm like, wow, this is really interesting. This is, like, a thing on its own, right? And it just has opened up, like, a lot of more things for now, even the people in my program, I'm like, oh, maybe you Guys could do a Do the Thing challenge because everyone wants to do dares, and I've been, like, resistant to them doing dares, you know, just because it's like, I didn't want to, like, get. I don't want to desensitize the whole thing, but I'm like, if it's part of a Do the Thing challenge, then it makes sense because it's all part of the same thing, you know? And then I can use the formula. And it's like, sometimes people will try to do dares, like, outside, and it doesn't work the same way because they're not using the formula I've embedded. And so anyway, the point is, is it has opened up a whole new world, like, for me personally, just from, like, her saying that and then me get it, like, seeing it as a different idea. Like, everyone can.

Yeah.

Do it, which is really cool.

It's like it almost became its own. Its own concise brand to you.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. In that moment when she's like, why don't we just call it a Do the Thing challenge?

Which is funny, because I think anybody who knows you and sees you doing this already looks at it that way.

Yeah, yeah.

And I wasn't that way to you yet.

That way to me. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I look at almost like, you know, when you see those celebrity collaborations like Sephora X, Lady Gaga, that's how I look at it. Like Modern Prairie and Do the Thing, collaborating to make something. And people. You know, people do that all the time.

Yeah, yeah. No, I definitely didn't see it. It was interesting. Yeah. I'm excited. It's.

Yeah.

I think it's a really good point of collaboration and not sometimes knowing exactly, you know, how something's going to go for anything, but just, like, seeing the alignment of the mission and the purpose and the reason, and that's the thing that. That gets. That brings it together. Right. And that's where the energy and the magic come from.

Well, and I think Nicole is really smart because she knows that it's always better to delegate to people who know what they're doing and to have them do it their way. I mean, that's what I like to. I like. Yeah. I like empowering people to do what they're best at and not interfering.

And that was the other thing she did that was such a gift. Yeah. When she was just saying that. Yeah. That we could run it the way that we did it before. And it's like now, all of a sudden, when it was. It's More freeing now, right? Where. Okay. I just get to, you know, so that's. It's really exciting. I'd love to go back to what you said, because speaking of collaboration and all of that. So I. I have been working on getting other people's minds to open in the way that, like, our minds do when, like, you meet someone and you're like, immediately like, oh, I've got this person, or I know this person. Where do you. How do you think other people can do that? So, like, for example, in my collaboration group, I want to be able to, like, get people to, like, get out of their thing, you know, and be able to not get out of their thing, but, like, just being able to, like. Let me step. I'm gonna slow down for a minute because my brain's going 5 million miles. But basically, it's like, everyone around me, not everyone around me, but everyone out there is, like, trying to sell their thing, right? They're like, sell, sell, sell, right? And. But what I try to do is I help people, like, tap in to the deepest level of, like, why they're doing something fundamentally at their core. Like, what was it, you know, that got you to, like, even want to do this? And then that's the thing that I'm having them then share. And the nice thing is because they're starting from, like, a small Facebook group. So, like, what they share in there may not be something that's, like, comfortable to go out with, but it at least gets it started, you know? And so. So with that now. So that's like, one level, but then the other level is the collaboration, right? And being able to, like, say, oh, I know this person, or I have this person. And I guess my question is twofold. One is, like, how do you think someone can ask for help? You know? And then the other question would be, how do you think they could then give someone else help based on, like, what you're doing, with all the. The connection points that you're creating?

Ask for help in what way?

Yeah, like. So.

Just in terms of, like, meeting certain people, in terms of connecting with others, you know, Like, I'm thinking, let's talk about Julie right now, because we both know her, and she's. I mean, she's like, there's something really powerful happening with what she's doing, you know? So let's say she was going to come up and say, like, okay, I've got this podcast. I'm writing this book. Like, what would be a way that could help her? And we're talking for Everyone right now, but, like, help her say, hey, who wants to, you know, come join me if you have any thoughts on. On that. Just in terms of people, were we.

Asking more like, how do they ask someone else who has a. Who has. Who they look up to for advice or, you know, how do they invite people to be part of their community?

Yeah, let's do the first part first.

Okay. Part I would say you can really talk to anybody you want. I mean, that's the time we're living in right now. And I feel like I sound like Gary Vee or something.

For your audience, if they don't know who Gary Vee is, he's like this entrepreneur who tells kids all the time, you can talk to anybody because, you know, social media. But it really is true. I mean, you know, the first person who entered my mind when you asked that was this author named Steven Pressfield. And he wrote these two really great books called the War of Art and Turning Pro. And they're like my bibles with how to be a creative person. Because what they really talk about is almost like when you become a creative in your life, you're sort of. You have to surrender yourself to something.

So it's almost like you have to surrender yourself to the flow of whatever this creative flow of ideas and whatever this thing is that you're harnessing and you're interested in being part of, because it really is so much bigger than you. And I think that probably what a lot of creative people get really bogged down in is if they start thinking about what they're doing too much as a product, and who's gonna like my product? Because it's the same. I think it's two sides of the same coin of who can I get to be interested in what I'm doing, and am I. Am I important enough that this person I admire is going to take, you know, give me the time of day? And really, it's like, I think you have to get so invested in your particular pursuit, whatever it might be, that it's just undeniable to you. It's like, I'm so passionate about this that I know that this thing matters. And honestly, it doesn't matter if anybody else does, because there's going to be a time period when you're starting out with something where that has to happen. That happened to me with my dad's list and with my book. I mean, I think I've told this story before. I had an agent. The agent ended up dumping me. Meanwhile, he had also advised me to like not do anything public on social media. I had my first two years of doing my dad's list where I was private on all of my accounts. Like it was really just whoever was there in the beginning, it was 100 people or whatever, they were the ones who were going to be there. Sorry, my cat's freaking.

Yeah, no, I love it. That's like what happened during the kickoff.

Yeah, well, my dad, it's here. Clearly he would love it that I'm trying to teach things like this. It was so his cup of tea. But. And he was a great salesman too, you know, And I, but I, and I think that is the hallmark of salesmanship is what you're selling is undeniable. You don't. Because people can feel it. If you're trying to convince them of something and you're, you're too focused on the sale and you're too focused on how do I persuade you. It shouldn't be that the salesman has to be confident, I think, and what they're selling. And it's like, okay, well hey, here's what I have to offer. And it's gonna change your life if you do this because it changed mine. And I can demonstrate for you how it did. But you can take it or leave it. I don't care. Like, that's my attitude. And I don't know if I haven't like read a book on sales, so I have no idea for sure if it works. But I tend to find if you just come with a really positive like life affirming energy, it doesn't really quite matter what it is that you're sell. Selling.

Yeah.

Person is buying your energy. Oh, buying your energy so good. That's what they're attracted to. It's like they don't even, at some point, they don't even know what they're buying anymore. I just want more of you. Like I want more of you in my life. So yes, I will say yes to you. And I find that that tends to be what happens. And you know, as far as like reaching out to people for help who could potentially advise you, I think it's a matter of just like, like I said, you have to have that time period where you're so into your thing that you don't care if anybody else is. And that's what I did, albeit by default. I didn't choose it. It's what that agent told me to do. But now it's one of the most valuable things I did because there were two years there where I was doing the list just for my dad and me. I was not ever a performer. I wasn't like, hey, Internet, look at what I'm doing. Do you like it? Because that's, I think, what people get caught up in now because of the world we're living in. And that's what I mean when I say it's a double sided coin. Because it's like on the one hand how cool that we can put something creative into the world and get immediate feedback. Like that's the type of society we're in right now. But at the same time, it's not great for percolating something really creative and deciding for yourself what it is that you're doing and making it very individual to you. So I got to have this cool amount of space from.

You know, from societal feedback. I had 100 people who were invested from the start. They're still following all of my posts on Instagram and on Facebook. So it wasn't like I had nothing. Like I still had something, but it wasn't going to get bigger until I let it be public again.

Yeah, it's so funny, I tell people this with the, in my program, it's like 100 people is all you need to get something into momentum. So it's just funny that you have that number too.

I mean, the other thing is, it's like people talk about your numbers of followers all the time. Like, that's the world we're living in, like thousands and thousands of followers. And you can easily get intimidated by like, oh, look, so and so has thousands, or even, you know, the Kardashians have millions or whatever. Right. But really, when you talk about like wanting to publish a book or something like that, what, what agents are more interested in.

Are they invested? And I forget there's a word for I think it's invested. But are the people who follow you interacting with you? You know, are they actually paying attention? You know, do they look forward to your posts or are they like potentially bots? You know, and that's what I was developing. Because what ended up happening, I think now is during those first two years of my project, I would go on Instagram and be like, hey, here's what happened today with skydiving, or here's what happened today with my trip to London. Here's my recap of London. And I'm sharing the list items that are now in my book that I now share with everybody. But at the time it was a select group of people and that meant I felt like I had freedom to be very Vulnerable and very personal about what I was sharing. And I think that that was both important to the writing of the book, I would later do, but it was also important to.

I think, the intimate feel of my project, because there is an intimate feel to it. I think when you read the book, it feels intimate. I think there is something very intimate about.

Committing yourself to a creative goal, really. And I think maybe that's what people are losing a lot of the time, because it's like. It's just like what we were saying before. If you set out to do something as a creative person that's unique to you, that feels like a calling, that feels like something bigger than you, that is like, that's not something you have to share with everyone and most people aren't going to relate to.

Can't be like a crowdsourcing thing. It can't be. What does everybody think of this? Is this popular? Because guess what? It's not going to be popular. Like, the best ideas are brand new and nobody can believe in them yet. That's just how it works, because they're different. And you have to have the commitment to see it through. And that means you have to let go of needing that approval.

Yeah, that's what I love about, like, getting community around your idea. Because, like, if you're telling other people that aren't invested and they don't care, then it's like. It's like it doesn't land. But if you're taking the things that mean something to you and then you're putting people around elevates it, and then even if they're not, like, I did this when I was doing my singles Community. I wanted to do the Start a Podcast challenge. And a lot of them didn't want to do it. Like, I didn't let it stop me. I still did it. I just started a new group. And I think there's. There's that too. Like, it doesn't mean you have to do everything that, like, comes from it, but there is some power in putting people around it. But the right people, like, people that are invested in the idea, you know, people that are invested in that thing, you know, and that you have shared language around.

Yeah, but I mean, more than anything else, you have to have a conviction and you have to read books or just consume documentaries or. You know, one of the things I did a lot was I watched a lot of biopics about creative people, usually women, because I always ended up watching these movies or document. Not a documentary, obviously, but biopics about women. From the 1800s. Like, a documentary existed back then, But I think that became my wheelhouse because it was like, oh, yeah. No one understood Marie Curie.

Like Jane Austen. Like, come on. You had to publish your stuff anonymously. And there's something about those stories that are just so. It makes you brave when you realize what other people have been through. And it's really important to find those heroes, as, you know, as Mary, our friend Mary laid up, says, your pocket full of heroes. Like, you have to have that because you're gonna become a hero to other people and to yourself while you're pursuing something. So really, you have to let go of that need for feedback.

So. Good.

Yeah.

Could you share also? Because I know there's some stuff you can't talk about, but what can you share about? Like, what's. What's happening for you right now? Like, what you're excited about?

Oh, I don't think I can share anything.

You can't share anything.

Okay.

You might see my book in another form sometime soon. Let's leave it at that. I'll leave it.

Exciting. We'll have to have you come back on. We'll have to do it after we're done with the Perry Pioneer project and see where things are, because by then, more time could have passed, you know?

You know, it's really cool, though, Stacy. I'm happy you asked about that, even though I can't say anything.

What's cool about it is these kinds of things that I'm not naming, that I'm doing, they take a very long time.

Yeah.

A lot of collaboration involved and working things out. And it is a business. And so because it's taken a long time, and I'm now getting to, like, another. I guess you could say another level of it at the moment. It gave me a lot of time after my book tour to sort of start to define for myself what. Like, what. What is this? Like, what. What am I doing with this in my life now? As opposed to being like, okay, people who want to come and work on this and turn it into something else. Now this is what I'm doing. Like, I was in grade seven, and now I'm in grade eight, and you're graduating me. Like, that's what. That's how I looked at it at first. Like, oh, that will be my definition of success, when really what I needed to do was come up with my own definition, what that looks like for me and, like, unique to me. And that's been a really important lesson because I couldn't figure out what the heck I was supposed to do after the book tour. And, like, I did go through a bit of a depression this winter, and I just kept getting sick. And at first I thought, oh, maybe I'm burnt out, maybe I'm fatigued. But I don't think that's what it was now. I think it was almost like I was a. Like a. I was in a cocoon and I was, like, molting, then becoming something else. Like, becoming this butterfly that had to come out. I had to hide away to do it, and I had to figure out on my own. So what's really cool is now I have ideas for my next book that are percolating. I have a plan with my bucket list that I'm doing. I have different projects I'm doing. Like, I have all these things I'm doing in my. In my creative life while also having this other thing that's now happening that's super exciting, but it's not the end goal anymore. It's just a side thing that I'm doing so good.

I forgot to tell you, this is coming up right now is because of the book club that you and I did. And then also seeing how people were changed during the Modern Prairie Experience and how impactful that was, I've decided to do. I don't know if I'm going to keep it forever, but for now, it feels good to do a Do the thing book club where I'm, like, taking books and just, like, I don't know if I'll do a challenge around them, but at least it's a book club where we're.

Oh, really? Oh, okay. Love to talk about it. I have one for July.

You know what's so cool about that? Is your response when I said that just now. Oh, really? You assume it's going to be great because I'm telling you about it. Meanwhile, I've already talked to the author in question, like, earlier this week, and I was telling her about working with you.

And she comes up with, oh, do you think maybe she might be interested in my book? And I said to her, I wouldn't have even told you about this if I didn't think your book was a possibility. And it's like I was telepathically signaling it. I love that two people collaborating are, like, already excited about it on their own and they don't even know what it is yet.

Yeah, no, it's so true, right? Yeah, it's so true because we're so aligned and that we. Yeah, no, it's Amazing. Yeah. I have one for July, but it's. It's cool. It, like, came from after that meeting. I'm like, oh, I've got to do a book club around it, you know, and so, yeah, I'm excited.

I'm really glad you're doing that.

Yeah.

There'S just something about reading a book club first, right?

Yes. Yeah, it's true. And like, when you put everyone around, I mean, I guess it's my people. Like, you're basically. I mean, that's what it is. It's the piece of the do the thing formula. It's the. My people. And the goal is the book, you know, So I didn't think about it like that. There you go. Connection point. Oh, my gosh. Well, I don't even know how we're at time already, but this is amazing. It's always so fun to talk to you and I love that you're a part of just the community. Thanks for bringing me on the. Your adventure now with. With what we're about to embark on. So I'm excited about that. And yeah, thanks for just sharing your gifts with the world and everything that you are doing for people just by you doing the thing.

Really.

You know, when you think about it.

I mean, I'm just. I'm grateful. I'm so grateful for your community and for you. I mean, I'm one of you guys. Like, you helped me a lot. I mean, there are moments this winter when I was really struggling and I would just come back in and just like, write a little. I think I had like five that I wrote and then I deleted. And you're like, no, stop deleting them.

I just don't know if it's okay for me to vent here. But, like, really, like, just the. The whole energy of your group is so sustaining to everybody at every stage of their journey. And I. And I feel like I didn't fully answer this before, but, you know, like, I was talking about Steven Pressfield and his two books and how they helped me so much with learning how to be an artist. Really, like, if you're going to be an artist and this is what he teaches all the time, your job in the world. And I guess this is probably true with being an entrepreneur or being any kind of creative person. Your job in the world is to further the creativity of everything, not just your thing. And that's. I think if you take that perspective, that's when you get really good with the collaboration because it's like you. You become someone who's almost like, okay, art and creativity are this, like, invisible monster. They're like a being, an energy in the world, and I get to be the eyes of it. Like, I get to be some of the eyes of it. I'm a scout, and I'm looking for it all the time. And when I see it, it's my duty. It's my duty to help lift it up. It's my duty to bring it to the attention of other people. Like, not just mine, because there's just. There's something about the energy of giving in that way that. I don't know, it's almost like. What's that saying? A rising tide.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. So if you decide to become a person who's like, oh, I lift this person up, I lift that person up, I'm gonna bring this person to people's attention. The energy of that giving starts to affect your thing too. You. It's like a joining that happens as opposed to, no, this is mine, and this belongs to me, and you can't have it. And don't steal my ideas. Like, that's not. That's not a creative energy. You have to go flow of what is supposed to happen.

Yeah. It's so funny you said that, because I kept. Well, you know, Dr. Nancy Dandrade. Like, I'd had some sessions with her around the dare because, like, whenever people were wanting to use the dare, I felt like a restrictive, you know, or. And I've never felt that, like, not. It's not scarcity, but it was like, oh, my gosh, my dares, you know, And. And so I. I was, like, trying to identify what that was coming from, you know, and I. I couldn't. Other than maybe me not feeling special anymore, you know, which was like. Which was like a thing. And so. But it was like, once I kind of, like, released it, you know, and I. When we worked with Modern Prairie, and I was like, oh, yeah, you guys could use the.

The dares.

Like, we kind of need them, right? Like, in order for it to work, like, the way that it was. And so the connection point, though, from the dare to the formula, because they were wanting to use the dare without the formula, and then it will. If it doesn't work, then it's a. It's ineffective, and it kind of like, dilutes the whole thing. But if it's combined, that's where the magic is, right? And so, anyway, point being is, I felt it.

You.

We all feel it, I think, sometimes. And it's. It's identifying it and being Self. Aware. Whereas a lot of people, I don't think will become self aware about it. They'll just, like, want to hold whatever that thing is in, and then it stays bottled and no one ever sees it.

Yeah. I mean, that concept of control can be really confining, and you don't want to prevent people from getting the good out of what you do.

Yeah.

By fear of them diluting, I think. But. But as far as. The only reason I brought Steven Pressfield again is because I actually have DM'd him a couple times. Oh. And he responded to me. I mean, this is the guy who writes movies. Like he wrote the Legend of Bagger Vance. Like, he, you know, he's like, he's a big deal. And he wrote back one or two sentences on Instagram. So I just. I guess what I'm saying is, you said before, how do you ask for help? You can. I mean, we're living in an age where you really can reach out and talk to anyone and they're probably not going to respond most of the time, but there are people out there who have gotten to a level of success who remember where they come from and they are going to help you. And it might just be one or two sentences, but at least it's something.

Yeah. I mean, it's so true. It's like even me reaching out to you, you know, like, you and it's true.

Yeah.

It'S true. I mean, no, but you were like, to me, you were. You know, I just heard you were on npr. I heard it was amazing interview. You were like, totally yourself. And then I. I'm read. That's who you were to me, you know, like, so. Yeah. So that's. It's really. It's good. Good. You just never know. Right. What's the worst that's going to happen is there's no response or they say no, you know, and. And to me, it's finding the. It's. This is my kind of, like, trick. And then we'll have to end it here. But, like, because this has been so good, but the finding the curiosity in it. I wonder what's going to happen. Like, it's just like, are they gonna respond? Are they gonna see it? Are they gonna say yes? Are they gonna say no? And then just having no attachment to that.

Well, yeah, I'm happy you said that because I think you can't lose the play in what you're doing. And the reason I didn't is I would say probably part of it was because of that one agent's advice to go private for those two years. But the other part of it was I always knew with doing my dad's bucket list that this was an experiment, that this was an experiment that shouldn't work. You know, like, there's this crazy thing I'm doing, and it was an experiment for the first two or three years, and then it started to become my life. But I think to keep that understanding of this thing that I'm doing is still just play. It's just an experiment. It's extra. This is extra to my life. It's not. I'm not. I don't have to be all in, because this is a thing I do that's fun for me, and that's my creative expression. I think you have to maintain that feeling about it, because it's like, if you don't, then you just get too serious about it, and you get into that control feeling, and you get into that. You don't want to get your ego and identity too invested in it. You have to be able to let it go no matter what. Like, whatever it wants to be. Like, I just. To bring it full circle when I said goodbye to the book in the store. You have to let it be what it wants to be, because when you're creative, what you're making is its own thing. It's almost like it's another living being.

So good. And Sarah said she loves that we need to come up with our own definition of success.

So good.

And then different Sarah said, further the creativity of everything. And as Shauna said, this was so helpful and informative.

So.

Oh, my gosh, Laura, thank you so much for doing this. And thank you guys for being here with us in this experience. And I'm just excited to.

Yeah.

Continue this journey and get to see what you're doing too. It's. It's been amazing.

Yeah, I'm. I'm excited for further collaborations, even if it's not me.

Exactly. Yeah. So cool. All right, you guys, we'll do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity.

Create it.

Bye.

It.