The Find My People Expert Panel: Real Strategies for Building Activated Community

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, this is an exciting day. I feel like all the worlds have collided into this moment where, like, this research quest that I've been on and experimentation for the last few years has culminated into the moment when I'm really about to use what I've been doing to solve the world's problems and really kind of tackle the loneliness epidemic on a bigger scale and also help people achieve their goals through that. And so I have gathered the most incredible group of experts to help me on this quest.

And we are basically going to be a Find my people challenge from this expert panel. And I actually am so excited because each person that is here with us today actually has a different piece of this that's going to help us expand this conversation in such a bigger way. And so I am just so looking forward to having you guys hear from them, learn who they are, and then also see what kind of, like, ideas come from this. But basically, what we're going to be doing today is really talking about this find your people challenge that's powered by the do the thing engine. And it's something that I hope that schools will use someday. Organizations, communities, and just all different types of communities that actually want people to find their people within the community that they're in. And so I am welcoming you guys. Hello.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Thank you so much for being here. And I love, like, the do the thing expert panels because it's always like, what are the questions going to be? And, like, what do I need to be prepared for? And it's always just, like, going to come up as we go. So I want to thank you all for just, like, allowing that process to be. And really, just this room is going to take up a life of its own. And so, yeah, I'd love to start off and have you guys introduce yourself so everyone knows who you are. And then we'll get into helping people find their people through communities. And then from this conversation, I'm going to be creating a challenge because, you know, a lot of times people can get information. They can watch something, they can read something. They could listen to the inspiring talk. But then when the talk is over, there's, like, this down part, and that's what the challenges do. They actually keep that inspired action going for a specific amount of time. And so that's what we're looking to do. So, yeah, I'd love to start off. How about we start off with you, Jane, and just share who you are? And, yeah, excited. And feel free to share why you're here, what you're excited about, too.

Great.

Hi, everybody. I'm Jane Stetsik. I run marketing for a software company called Mighty Networks. We are the only community platform that actually is built to introduce your members to each other. So help your members find their people. And we're home to the most $1 million communities, and those two things work well together. I'm most excited to talk about how we can use technology to help people find their people, both, obviously, in what we're doing at Mighty. But I think there's an unfounded fear that technology can only create this dystopian world when I actually think technology has a role to play in bringing real people together. So I'm stoked to talk about that and super happy to be here.

So good. I love that. And Evander.

Hi, I'm Amanda Black, and I'm the founder of the Solo Female Traveler Network. We are a community of women who just are passionate about traveling the world by themselves. And so my mission is to empower women to live their dreams when those dreams have to do with travel. So I'm really excited to be here because I think community is so important, especially, especially.

Well to women, but for any. For everybody. So I'm excited to be here and can't wait to see where this goes.

So good. Thank you, Nyleen.

Hey, guys. My name is Eileen. I'm from Houston, Texas, and I help people do six and seven figure days using virtual events online. And the way they do that is becoming really powerful public speakers. So I have a huge passion around communication and. And the ability to persuade and influence thousands and thousands of people from stage, both physical stages and virtual stages online, like little classes. And at the end, we kind of make an invitation to join that speaker deeper inside of a coaching program or workshop that we'll invite them to. And that is the thing that creates the six and seven figure days. So my real passion is unleashing people to share their message with the masses and at the same time, create financial freedom for them and their family. So, yeah, I'm happy to be here. I'm just excited. Love connecting with you guys. I've been excited to learn from you too, so thanks for having me.

So good. And Nicole.

Hi, everyone. I'm Nicole Hazy. I'm the CEO and co founder of a company called Modern Prairie. And we are about community and connection and meaningful commerce. And we were. We created this brand, really, to celebrate women and empower them to rediscover who they Are we're for women more mature midlife. We have a lot to give, a lot to learn from one another. But in kind of the world where we live in, when you become or you, you're at midlife, you're virtually overlooked. You can feel irrelevant and ignored. And so what we're here to do is create this community, empower them through the content that we provide and really just give them a forum to feel seen, valued, heard, important, relevant and lean in again. I love what we do. I love the community that we're building. And I'm just really excited to be here. And Jane, what you said resonated with me because we are a digital brand. We do have ways in which she can engage. It is very challenging, but it's because she, it's still a little bit distrusting of technology. So it's an interesting way with our demographic to connect her and connect her with one another. And I would say create meaningful connections because that's so important at our age and we kind of lean in very quickly. But how do we do this in a way that is first digital and then in person? So it's, it's a, it's a great, great organization. I'm thrilled to be here and amongst all of you really wonderful empowered women. So it's going to be fun to learn and hear from all of you. Thank you. Stacy.

Okay, thank you. And Felina.

Hello. Hello. Excited to be here as well with these amazing women. I am the founder of a female focused shared workspace and business accelerator called Hera Hub, as in the Greek goddess of women. And we have seven locations here in SoCal, but also Chicago and Washington D and been a huge proponent of creating a community for 14 years. I launched the business April 15, 14 years ago. So we're coming up on our anniversary. We've helped close to 14,000 women in that period of time either launch or scale their business.

Not only through shared workspace, co working space, office space, but also we have two formal business accelerator programs, one for launch stage folks and one for growth stage folks. And it's funny, right before this, I just posted a.

Post conversation on LinkedIn about the topic of business accelerators and business school and how we educate entrepreneurs, how we support folks who want to become entrepreneurs, and I believe traditional education. And this is someone with an mba, so I've been through it myself. Is failing entrepreneurs. Frankly, they walk out with a ton of debt and not a lot of practical experience. And so that's why I created the two business accelerators that we have to really give folks practical, hands on experience in launching and growing a business.

So good. I love the timing of that, right where you're like, I just posted that.

I know I'm gonna be.

I'm on, I'm on with John Lee Dumas next month, his EO Fire podcast. And that's, that's the topic. So I want, I want others to chime in because I definitely could use the community to have a conversation around this particular topic.

So good. And Laura.

Oh, I think you're on mute.

I feel like my, my background in creating community is just, just beginning. It's just burgeoning. So I'm so excited to learn from all of you and very honored that Stacy chose me to be here. And Nicole, I know you already and I feel like we're twinning today a little bit. So I'm excited about that. And I work with Nicole and Stacy on Modern Prairie as a teacher. But the background to that is I wrote a book called My Father's List and it's about how I finished the bucket list of my late father in six years and he died because of a distracted driver when I was 25 and he was 54. And we found the bucket list 13 years later. And I immediately knew I needed to finish this for him and write about it. And it's interesting how I have sort of accidentally come upon becoming a community builder because when I was doing that list, there were times where it felt very solitary to me and a very unusual endeavor. But one of the coolest things about it is it sort of equipped me with this almost hard fought wisdom that I'm able now to extend to other women and I think people in general. But it's mostly been women so far around my age and sometimes women in their, in their 30s and 20s just how to utilize all of the skills that I learned and all of the life lessons I learned while going after something so crazy and unusual. And it's been super fun for me to empower women and to teach them how to. I teach them how to do their bucket lists. I teach them along with Stacy, how to find their voice, how to follow their heart, how to own their play. I'm now branching out into doing a TED Talk. We're adapting my book as a TV series, which hasn't been announced publicly yet. So I'm now also a TV producer. I've got a lot going on and I always just think of myself as a writer first. I went to an event last night with a New York Times bestselling author and it was so strange to me because usually if I went to an event like that that was like, a very, very fancy book launch, I would be like, oh, I don't know why I'm here. Like, why was I included in this? And then I gradually started realizing, oh, they want to meet me. Like, they're excited. And that was a really cool community experience. So that's sort of where I am in my. In my journey of creating community.

So good. And Christina.

Hi, Stacy. Thank you so much for having me here today. All these amazing women. I'm the founder of Women Helping Women entrepreneurs. We have 880,000 women from across the globe in our community on Facebook. And I just love empowering other women to help one another. And I believe in collaboration over competition. So my group has a platform where women can promote themselves in my membership program to these women in the group, and that has launched a lot of businesses. And it's been so amazing to see women being able to use my audience in order to grow their own. So we have just incredible women. And I really am excited today for women to be able to find their people, like you said, in their communities. There's all sorts of communities. Facebook groups have 1.8 billion users, which is crazy, right? So you can find your community and one that resonates with you, what your peeps are, you know, where your tribe is. And it's so, so powerful to grow your business, to build relationships and just really change your life. So thank you so much for having me here today.

So good. And, yeah, I want to share. So the reason we're here to start off with is Laura Carney had did this podcast episode on npr like, it's been, I think two years ago when her book was coming out. And my. The guy that hosts my podcast platform, he told me about her and was like, oh, my gosh, you have to have her on your podcast. And that was when I got connected to her. We then proceeded to do a few expert panels together about, like, starting a book and then decided to do a bucket list challenge in the do the Thing community. And it was amazing. We had people that were, like, so just, like, impacted. They're, like, doing things they had never dreamed of doing before. Inspired from Laura's book. We did a book club first. And so what Laura brought into the do the Thing community was this deeper level of purpose and fulfillment and helping people get more courageous when they're doing things. And then after that bucket list challenge, that's when Nicole Hase her community, Modern Prairie, her Melissa Gilbert asked Laura to basically do a book club about her book in their community. And then somehow I got brought in with the do the Thing challenge. And so that's when we brought in the Bucket List challenge. And what was so cool about that was when we were doing those meetings with Nicole, I was just thinking it was going to be the bucket list challenge. And Nicole and Laura were the ones that were like, it's got to be a Do the Thing challenge. What was cool about that was I got to bring in all the same framework that I had done with the other challenges. And then since then, we've done Find your voice challenge in the community. And then Laura created a challenge just recently called Follow youw Heart that's also a Do the Thing challenge, built on the framework inside the community. And so it's been really cool to see that happening. And then Eileen Wilder's here. She's my mentor and has helped me monetize my mission and helps people, like, really shift the belief and identity around, like, who they are. So you get, like, believe in yourself on a whole nother level. And so that's why when I started, I said, I'm ready to solve the world's problems. It comes from that shift in belief and identity that I actually believe I can now, you know, or at least be a part of it. And so. And now the work that I've been doing for monetizing, I'm actually moving to fundraising too, which I'm actually really excited about. And I've been actually doing the do the Thing challenges on Eileen's high level mastermind. And we've just seen massive results from that. And what's so cool is a lot of people think community has to be free, you know, and it can, and it totally is beautiful that way. But it could also be behind a paywall, right, and have a paid mastermind. That's a huge community that people will literally cry about because they're getting that many, you know, big of transformations. And so that's been really beautiful. And then Felina, I was actually a fan girl of Felina for many years.

Even when I owned my staffing company. It was funny. We had a brick and mortar space, so I wasn't needing the CO working, but I did always kind of dream of going there because it just looked so fun. And then I think during COVID was when you probably went to a whole nother level, you know, because they couldn't go in person anymore. So that's when the online community most likely got kind of, like, escalated, you know, in such a really cool way. And after my TEDx talk, a friend of mine, Christy McDaniel, actually connected me to Felina. I was so excited to meet her. And she did a whiteboard session with me on what I was doing for Communities now and just was so giving of her time, which is amazing. And then Christina Rowe, I was just talking about you this morning, Christina, with Jama Bolos. We were talking about your future. You're talking about your future TEDX talk, which is like, you're reshaping like the global economy with what you've done with women, helping women entrepreneurs and just how many people you most likely have helped, you know, like, impact people with the, with what you've built. And I know when we recently met a few months ago, I was just so, just shocked with just how accessible, you know, you are and helped me personally. And just it's been amazing to just kind of see your journey and what you're doing for people. And then Amanda and I recently met a few months ago, and she actually does these really extravagant experiences like in other, like in other countries and takes people on these like, amazing just adventures. And then just recently, she also started another business called Kindred, where she's like, you don't have to go far if you don't want to. You can actually create these really more meaningful relationships where you live. And, and so she's kind of showing both ways of, of that, which is really cool. And then, Jane, it's been so exciting because I love what Mighty Networks is doing and I love that you word it like cultural software, you know, and, and you're like changing kind of like the, the way people even see community with people, magic and all the things. So I think I got everyone. But yeah, I'm, I'm like, just so excited because of all the different lenses that each of you will have. And so, yeah, let's get to it. So we're going to talk about finding your people. So who are my people? We'll start with that. So I did. This is what my TEDx talk was about, which is basically there's like your normal friends and family and your regular support network, which a lot of people think that's enough. Right. And so what I discovered through my work and through challenges and everything is that you've got to connect to people that have a common goal, common bond, a common cause for you to really be able to achieve your goal. And so that's what these communities are really built of. And when I look at each of you and the Communities that you've created. That's what you're doing. There's a common goal. There's a common bond that you're connecting people to. And so let's just talk about, like, what would be some good ways that people can find their people within a community? If. If we want to just start with that, maybe we'll just brainstorm and riff, and then we'll kind of see where. Where it goes. Jane, why don't we start with you and then feel free. I won't call on you guys. I'll have you just kind of like, we'll just speak over each other and see how that goes.

Yeah, I think it's interesting. People often, at least what I've observed, they think that a community has to be around people who are, like, the same in some. Some way, but they think about that in a limiting way. Like, they're. They live in the same place or they have the same demographic background or they have the same job. But what we've found is, like, the most successful communities rally around a transition. And so, like, it's not just finding somebody who's, you know, a mom like me. It's like, somebody who wants to go from, like, not working out at all to, like, working out once a week, like, that transitional moment. And that could be a mom that could be, like, you know, an older person, that could be a college student. It's just like, the transition is what bonds us together. And so if you want to find somebody in the same transition as you are, I feel like there are multiple ways of doing that, but starting with, like, asking the question and putting yourself out there, like, I want to go from A to B, like, is anybody else on this journey with me? Because transitions are, I think, what the most effective communities are around, because, as you said and so many others have said, it's about transformation. So, like, where. Where are you trying to go on your journey? And so many of us are afraid to voice, like, hey, I'm here, and I don't want to be. Like, I want to be there. But when you put that out there, I think it's a really powerful attractor.

Yeah, I love that. It's funny, when I think about all my challenges, it does come from a transition. Like the dating challenge. Dating challenge, starting a podcast, there's always something that's spurns it.

So.

Yeah, that's brilliant. So good. And actually, this makes me think of Laura. Like, where this challenge even got birth was we were doing the follow your heart challenge, and we were giving. I Give dares, basically. And what was coming up from that? This was in the modern prairie community. What was coming up from that was people were like, well, I'm homebound. So one of the dares was something like, go say hi to a stranger, you know, and that's when several women said, I'm homebound. I can't, you know, leave my house. And that's when we said, oh, do it in the app, you know, and like, let's, let's say hi to a stranger, that someone that you don't know inside the app. And so maybe Laura, how about you go next from that? Because this is something we got to see kind of happening real time, you know, in terms of ways that they could be finding each other, like even saying what Jane said and finding that transition. How do we actually help, you know, like implement that.

Implement it for people who are in.

A transition just in the community and feel free to, you know how it goes, Just say whatever comes up for you right now.

Well, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm so, I feel so honored that I didn't realize that our follow your heart challenge had such, such, you know, such an impact on what we're doing here today and doing this summer. I didn't realize that. Yeah, I mean, that was really difficult to learn that because the last thing I ever want to do is alienate. Like, my main goal always is include, include, include in everything that I do, no matter who I'm talking to. So, you know, of course we, as you always say, we learn and we adjust it for next time. So that's what we're going to do. But one of the really cool things that happened this time was Stacy had. Because our class was now becoming so large. I think we're almost at like 300 now, aren't we? Something like that. She's like, we really need to, we need to take some of the women who are in our class and appoint them as leaders themselves and have them sort of organize smaller groups of women. And in that way, no one is ever going to feel like we're not responding to them when they post their responses to our questions, which is, that's how the class is running. We'll have like 14 to 17 questions over a two week period. We post. Stacy posts them every day. I tend to play the role more of responding to what everyone is saying and making them all feel seen. And then Stacy and I together will have a zoom once a week and we kind of update everyone and check in on their progress. But the other thing that we do is we bring in experts like all of you. We bring in someone who is, is particularly skilled in a heart driven mission. That's what we did last time. Someone who's very good at finding their voice. So we're sort of bringing them this, you know, really awesome experience just right at their fingertips. But they're also, it's also very interactive and they're doing it themselves. But I think what happened this time, we did have the leaders last time too with the Find you'd Voice challenge. But with Follow youw Heart, they really just took it and ran with it. And they took it upon themselves to have their own meeting. Like, like how Stacy and I will have the Wednesday night meeting when we bring the experts on to them. They took it upon themselves to have a Sunday night meeting and they made like their own little inner group of like, you know, I think there's like eight to 10 of them or so their own little inner group. And then they were like filming themselves singing the Brady Bunch, you know, and now they have, I think Tierra Tuesday Nicole. That was the thing that already existed in the app, but now they're posting about it every Tuesday in on our page, which. And Stacy and I aren't even wearing tiara. It's like, it's just the thing that they're doing. And they've taken what we created and they've turned it into their own empowerment group. And it really doesn't even feel anymore like Stacy and I created it. It feels like they created it, like they brought it to themselves. And I think that that's the goal. I think anytime you are leading anyone, the ultimate goal is that you're creating other leaders. Right? I mean, and also the best leadership is when people think they did it themselves. So, I mean, that's what I would say. As far as how did we reach them with that, I think it was organic. I think it was just here's how Stacy and I do this. Stacy, I like to think that you and I do a good job of demonstrating. If you don't shine, I don't shine. There's no competition. It's you talking about my book, it's me talking about your TED Talk. So we're role modeling that and now they're all doing it. And that's, that's the whole ethos that Nicole created in Modern Prairie. Anyway. So, you know, I know we're preaching to the choir Nicole, but. Yeah, but it's been super fun to be part of.

I would, I would say you know, leading with authenticity. I mean, you know, starting in a. In a place where you don't have all the answers, but being open and honest and authentic, and that's what you bring. You bring this sense of humility, and that draws people in, because, let's be honest, across the landscape of social media, everything is perfect.

You.

It's a really challenging space to be. And what we want to do is create a space where women can come as they are and we can meet them where they are, and then it's really up to them to take that step forward. And I think that's a great part of community, is you can create these boundaries and a space for individuals and women to come as they are, and if they want to venture further, they can. And so I think that's the best part. And again, going back to community and finding your people, I think it changes over time. Like Jane mentioned, you know, it could be based upon a need or your life changing and being really honest with yourself about what it is that you're looking for and really what the end goal is. And I always look at our role, even at Modern Prairie, is that we will open the door, but we won't force you through it. And so I think that's the best kind of thing. And certainly what Stacy and Laura have created with the do the Thing within our community and by them starting and igniting that spark, others are now taking that and running with it and igniting other sparks in women. And women are seeing these things happening, and they're saying, I can see this. I want to be a part of it, too. So it's been pretty profound.

And I would say one thing just to add on to that, Nicole, one thing you and Stacy and I have always talked about is we think that it's really important that it's the two of us doing it. So there's never a situation where it's just me or it's just Stacy, and here's this successful woman and everyone should try to be like this leader. No, it's two of us sharing tips and tricks with each other, and there's something in that dynamic, in that relationship, in that conversation, that is showing them, oh, this is like, even if I did succeed at something I'm super excited about and have been thinking about for a long time, that's still going to be a conversation that's still me developing myself for the rest of my life. It's not like, you know, you write that book or you start that podcast or you do whatever you start that Business, whatever it is that your goal is, and then you're done, and then you're set, you know, and everything's perfect. Because I think if you're just starting on something, it does feel that way. Right. But they're seeing in real time. Here's women who have developed skills to create something, but they're still learning, and they're learning from each other. And that community is something that is constantly evolving and something we all need for everything that we do. I mean, I think it was. Who was it? Napoleon Hill. He said, you need to have a brain trust. That's the secret to everything. That's the secret to success and everything. I like that some of you are shaking your heads and it's making me excited. You might know who Napoleon Hill is.

That was a very eccentric reference.

Anyway, I can't speak to Napoleon Hill, but I will say, one of the things you said that resonated is we often find people hesitant to start their communities because they feel like they're not an expert enough. They're like, oh, I'm not an expert. Why would anybody join? Join this. And I think what we try to reframe that as is, like, all you have to be is one half step ahead. And that half step can just be in seeing the value of, like, we need to bring people together around this, versus, like, I'm going to stand up here and talk to you for three hours about everything you need to know. Because I think that model, if that's your model, good luck, because ChatGPT is the one doing that for people now. Like, your model needs to be bringing people together to talk to real humans. So I think that was even true five years ago, and it's really true today. And getting truer and truer. That community is going to save us all in more ways than one.

I believe that. So true. It. What you guys are saying about it's the power of community. And I always say that, like, a lot of coaches make a mistake, but they start a community and it becomes the guru model of, you know, the guru to the members, and members fizzle out. But when you make it about the members and make it a true community and give them that platform and you step back. That's what I did with my group. Step back and they run the group. I don't even have to really be in there. Like, you know, they're. They're running the group, they're talking to one another, meeting each other, and that's when it becomes powerful. But a lot of people miss that Step exactly what you said. They think, okay, well, I have to be the expert. I have to be the one. But you're just bringing people together and then giving a platform and voices to everyone who wants to speak. And I think if you keep that model in mind, that's how you build a successful community. Like you said, Jane.

Yeah. We call it going from hero to host. And it can be really hard for some people, but when they figure it out, they're just like you said, they're like, oh, I don't have to be on call right now. And it's great.

Yeah. I'm curious, Christina, when you started, did you. Were you really involved in the beginning with like going live and posting? Did people know who you were in the very beginning?

Yeah, in the beginning. When I first started, I first started because I used to have an organization in South Florida where we did live events. So the first thousand people were people who, like, I met or have come to my events. And then it just started growing and growing. And that's when I started taking a step back because I used to do coaching and at first that was going to be my vehicle. And then I saw, okay, well, all these other women are doing the same thing I'm doing. I don't want to compete with them. So that's when I switched the model in 201718 to allow have a membership where they could promote. And I stopped doing personal coaching. I completely switched my business model to support the community so there is no more competition. And it's funny, there's been members now who've joined way back when we started, and now they've built their groups through my group, and now they have the same business model that I have that I started. And we actually collaborate. We just did two summits together. So we've got like the top groups that we come together and then we collaborate. So I, you know, because I believe so much in that, in the collaboration. So I think some women will come into the space thinking, oh, this is competition. You know, somebody else is doing what I'm doing. But, you know, the right person is going to come to you. You can, you know, I've done business with people who do the exact same things I do. And there's. It's never a problem because everybody will resonate with different people. So when you take that out of the equation and you just look at people as, you know, people that you can get to know and collaborate with, when you start your community and remove that feeling of, oh, my gosh, you know, there's not enough. That's when you see things flourish and communities take off and then there's enough for everybody.

Yeah. So good. Yeah. I'm realizing there's going to be. I'm going to have to have two tracks, like the beginning person that has the community and then someone that's more experienced. Because I'm even thinking of you, Nicole, where you guys in the beginning were. And you're probably still doing this actually, but you and Melissa are like, going live in there and posting not, you know, like every day or anything, but, like, showing, like, Melissa's there with her dog, you know, and like, you're just showing, like, the real you. Right. And. And that gives the space than for everyone else to be themselves. And then the other thing, which I know a lot of you are doing kind of like things in other ways, but, like, Nicole's group has something specifically called Trusted Prurians, where she brings in people like Laura and I and different experts that come in and then serve the community. And so. And I think that, yeah, it's the same thing with that. That collaborative.

Viewpoint. You're getting to see it and in such a. Like a beautiful way. Right. So you're setting the frame for this space to be open.

It's true. And Christina, to that point, we're not all the expert. We can't be. We, you know, and the more that we can branch out and step back, that's when you see it start to flourish. That's when you're like, okay, those seeds I planted, you find your people. And of course, you know, with us, to Stacy's point, with Trusted Prairie, and there's a bit of a vetting process. Right. Because very early on, obviously, with Melissa being in the business, we had a lot of that fandom that would come like, oh, I'm so and so, and I want to be involved. And in the beginning, I was sort of like, I always lead from a point of trust. Sure, you know, let's have a conversation. And then, you know, some things would get derailed, but that's what you learn. You learn, you try, you pivot. I mean, we all have to. Right. As women leading our own. Our own charges. It's just part of the journey. But then as you find, you know, the. That group, it's magical because then you step back and you just see that momentum and you. It's. It does speak to, I think, a lot of us here, all of us here that we all know it's not a competition. And we've. We've a lot of Us, I'll speak for myself. But coming up through the industry, it's super competitive. I mean, I watch the Devil Wears Prada, and I've always been in merchandising and work for big organizations on that level. And it was very much like that. And so I would learn from every role and say, okay, I don't want to be like this. And eventually having the opportunity to create this brand that was truly about community, feeling seen and heard. I mean, we all have those wounds. But knowing that I want to pass the torch and having that confidence to know that as women, we can support one another and, you know, it's game changing. And I think that's where the power of community comes in, because you're all there for the same reason.

So.

Good.

And Eileen, I'd love to hear from you because there's so much about what you're doing inside the community that I feel like so many people could model, which is you really encourage each person to fill the gap, you know, of what, like, what people need help with. And so everyone in there is, like, wanting to serve and help and support, you know, and you're modeling that collaboration sense. And then I love what you told me, actually wrote it down because I. It really stuck with me. One of the things you really liked that we're doing, which is creating a leadership team inside of your mastermind. They're creating resources. They're feeling like they're invested, you know, in it. And I know most of the people in there are saying they've never, you know, experienced anything like what they're getting inside of yours, so maybe just kind of. Yeah. Speak from that lens too.

Yeah.

I mean, I. I have never felt really awesome sauce at creating community. I'm more like the. I'm learning. I'm taking three pages of notes of everything.

Like, I. I just haven't felt that's a strong area for me. So I'm very. That's. That's why one of the reasons I love you, Stacy, and I love learning from all of you guys because I'm so kind of. Kind of like the kid on the playground that's just like super jealous of your gift. All of your.

I don't.

I just don't. I don't feel super strong in. I'm always looking for ways to raise up leaders and create more community. So maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm just like, help, like everyone in our community. I'm like, what are you good at? Like, you know, so I.

But I.

So I'M kind of envious of wanting that ability to step back and just watch everybody go, because that's one of my most favorite things to do. But I'm often feeling like I don't know how to do that. You know, I can get people to, like, spend a lot of money and make a lot. Make them a lot of money, but this is all kind of new to me. I'll let you know. I was a pastor for 18 years, so one of my greatest joys is being in community and caring for other people inside of that community. So. So for you, Stacy, when you, like, watching you do whatever, I don't even. I still. I've known you for a little. I still don't know what it is that you're doing. I just feel like Stacy goes in the group, lights herself on fire, and the whole group is stronger, more in love with our community, more grateful for Stacy, more discovering their personal giftedness and talent, more feeling just unleash themselves. So I'm just grateful to you and for whatever the do the thing framework is doing. I just want to be. I want to. I want everyone in the world to know, you know what? Because it's then that.

Strategically sniper in our community, lighting them on fire. I probably may tend to be more of in the guru model because. Not. Not because I'm intentionally trying to do that. I just don't know how to do it another way.

Yeah.

Well, I think it's so funny because you're kind of in that place of you're doing it. You just don't know it because you're in the middle of it. Because what I see you doing is you're open to experimenting, you know, and so. And then you're also open to the playfulness and the fun piece.

Yeah. And.

And then you're always telling people, like, to. To. To. To be. Oh, there's no, like, what Christina was saying, there's no competence. It's all like, go, you know, like, just do. Right.

Yes, yes, yes. 100%. I feel like there's so much. I love, learn from learning for you guys because there's so much beauty, I think, in action and letting people step. I mean, to be what community has done is it helps people. I always say it like this, like, there's a you inside of you. There's a you inside of you, but you haven't met that person yet. And the only way you're going to be able to meet that person is inside the community. And I think, to me, what. I think the way you can discover the you inside of you is through contribution. When somebody steps up and starts contributing to the group, hey, I've got this 10 minute training, hey, I've got this skill, I've got this ability, I've got this thing. I don't know what to do with it. And then the group reflects back to them like a mirror and says, oh my gosh, that is the craziest, coolest thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life. It's only then that the community member discovers, holy cow, what I have, who I am is valuable.

And that we can't discover it in isolation. It has to come through the contribution to the community.

Wow.

I love that.

Can I add something to that, Stacy?

Yes, please.

I'm real. I'm really happy you said that, Eileen, because I. I think you're wrong. I think you are a community builder.

It is that. It's that me too moment. And I mean me too in a good way. It's like that, that moment where I was like, no, I went through that. I have that. I. And you know, I. It's interesting what you're saying, Eileen, because I used to feel similarly. I used to. I mean, the whole, the whole reason I even set out to do my dad's bucket list, which I wasn't conscious of when I started, but the whole reason was it was because I felt alone. It was because I felt no one has had this experience of a father dying because of a teenager texting or making a phone call while driving. No one's had that. And that was funny too, because I was in these activism groups and it was usually texting and they wouldn't want me to talk about sometimes that it was a phone call because it's like, no, we're focusing on texting now. So even, even in that area, which was the group, you know, I was starting to feel that way a little bit. But, you know, I mean, I love all of them. I have, I have developed a lot of community building and strength because of meeting those people. But I mean, even in situations like that, that can happen. But the point that I'm making is that when I set out to do this, I had to stop being a person whose comfort zone was being alone. Because here I'm going to do 54 bucket list items in six years. I'm probably going to need some help. And I don't know anything about football, I don't know anything about golf. You know, like, those were some of the items like go to the super bowl, how the heck Am I going to make that happen? Meet a president. You know, I ended up talking to Jimmy Carter, but it was like, you know, I used to like to say there were 54 people who helped me, at least, because there were 54 items. So I sort of had to, by necessity, transform myself into someone who's always asking for help. And one of the things I learned very early on is how important it is that every time you meet someone new, you just assume they're an expert. Even like the homeless man at the train station who I used to talk to from time to time. And that actually turned out to be helpful, too, because he knew a guy who was a journalist who was pretending to be homeless and who was interviewing people on one of the days that I was there. And that was the thing that was the real Eureka moment for me, because I was like, never, ever assume that a human being you're meeting doesn't have something to teach you, because all of them do. And when you start to navigate life that way, one of the things I realized was, as much as you might think, oh, I'm not relatable, I'm someone who's gone through something that's so different from everybody else, you start to realize, no, that's not the case at all. And in addition to meeting people who are helping me with list items, the other cool thing that started happening was I started meeting other people doing bucket list missions. Like different authors, someone. I mean, it might be slightly different. Like my friend Mary Latham, who went to 50 states in honor of her mother and stayed with strangers. She was after a sort of different mission than I was, and yet it was the same thing. So Stacy talks about that a lot, that when you go after your dream, suddenly you're going to find my people, because there are other people out there. Even if your dream feels so unique and so different, there's other people out there who are doing the same thing. And those people are going to come to you as well. So it's sort of like.

Really, it's a mindset thing, right? It's like, if you can become the person who treats every person they meet like an expert, then you're going to build community totally by accident. Like, those people are just going to come to you because you're treating them like you belong with me. That's what I think.

Wow. Yeah, it makes me think, too. Like, even Nicole and then Eileen also, since I've been serving both your communities, it's. There's this trust that you have, right? So, like with Nicole, remember Laura, we were, like, in the beginning, like, oh, is this okay? Are you sure? Like, you know, and then Nicole's like, you guys got it. I trust you. And once I heard that, like, we were good, right? And then, Eileen, the same thing where you're like, you got it. We're good. And so I think that's important to include somehow in this challenge is like, kind of like seeing in the person, you know, seeing in the people, like, what their gifts are, being able to bring those out.

Yeah.

We just had an example. Oh, sorry.

No.

Christina, girl.

You talk.

Go ahead.

Oh, my gosh. No. Back to you in the studio. Christina, I'm a huge fan of yours.

And I'm a huge fan of your job. I was just complimenting Stacy on what she said. This little commentary said, I love it. That's it.

Go ahead.

Well, I was just going to tag in that we had an example, Stacy, yesterday, where we invited guest coaches into some of our workshops, and it was the coolest thing. The guest coaches started doing all this stuff inside the workshop that I had no idea was happening because I wasn't there. And now they were running the workshop. And a mutual friend of ours, Dr. Toobey, started closing everybody in the room. Like, she got up on stage, just started doing all these closes, and basically, like, our conversion rates for this event skyrocketed because she just, like, got up and just started talking, and I was like, wow, Trusting people is amazing. And I would love to know how you guys. How. What are. What is a grid of how you evaluate trusting someone. Like, how Nicole, what made you trust Stacey and Laura just, like, take it. What were they doing? You know what I mean? Because when you get down to that, that quicker, you can release people faster.

Yeah. And it makes me think, too. I was just remembering that Eileen had a mastermind in Texas where there was, like, a hurricane. And I remember, I don't even think I would have ever done this had I not felt comfortable. But, yeah, that morning, like, everything's gone, and then I'm in there, like, helping people do stuff, and it's like, you just feel when you're. When you're feeling like you're trusted, you just feel activated, you know?

Okay, I have to tell you this that we had about, I don't know, 60 people fly to Texas, and there was a hurricane the day they came in. They're in a hotel. There's no air conditioning, no electricity, and it's maybe 90 degrees outside, and I am hosting 60 clients. And Stacy's like, meet me in the Ballroom. It's like dark. They have, like flashlights from their phones. And Stacy starts literally, like, setting up their Facebook groups and their podcasts with their mobile phones with data in the dark. Stacey Lawrence.

Yeah, it was fun, but I would have never done that if I didn't feel that, like, sense of safety. So I think that's really important to somehow incorporate in the challenge. But, yeah, Nicole, do you mind maybe adding that? Because I feel like that's something I've got to have in there for people that don't have that ingrained, you know?

Sure. And then I want to make sure Polina had a comment. I know Polina wants to speak to something too, so I want to give her an opportunity. I mean, look at the end of the day within our forum and what we're doing, it's about best intention. And I think having done this as long as I have, when we have one on one conversations, and let's be clear, like, I didn't just say, stacey, Laura, go for it, right? Here's the platform, here's.

Here's zoom.

Just go for it, right? We'd have lots of conversations. And I think, to me, at the end of the day.

It'S supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be. We, we need to enjoy it. And I think that the content itself, you know, as long as we say we're not misrepresenting, we're not doctors, we're not giving advice, we're not giving information that could hurt people, have fun with it, and what's the worst that can happen? Okay, so something ends up happening, we deal with it. I think, you know, for us, we try not to take things too seriously. However being said, that being said, it's a precious community. These are women who are used to being ignored. So how we speak to her, the way we speak to her, the content, the women that we bring in, the trusted prayers that we bring in, it's very purposeful. But at the end of the day, saying the war on Stacy, you've got the platform. Like, this is your, this is your thing, this is your idea. I never want to be, you know, of a brand where we all take credit for it. That's never going to scale ever, because people will see through that. So for me to say, my gosh, this is a brilliant idea, when I get the chills of an idea, you know, when, when Stacy and Laura are talking to me and I feel it, it's like, this is the right thing. And there's a, There's a lot for Me, it's very instinctual, where I.

It's.

This is going to make an impact, and let's use our forum to do that. And heck if it didn't work. We've had a lot of things that didn't work. We've had financial advisors in our community that, you know, I'm like, oh, we can help women really plan their estates. And I'm like, this is someone I would speak to. And then they come on and they're. They're very polished. And. And it, you know, it didn't resonate. And so. And then you pivot, and then, you know, it's just. It's about the pivot. But I think for me, it's always just been.

And I hate to say it in this way, but we're not curing cancer. And if we were, it'd be a very different type of thing. So, like, let's have fun with it. And I go back to Laura. When I first met Laura Carney, she was very. I don't want to say introverted, but very nervous because we were presenting her book and Laura's. No Melissa Gilbert. And it was a whole thing that I underestimated because I'm like, laura, we believe in you. Your story is amazing. This is about you. And then seeing Laura, then to Laura now. It's incredible to see that blossoming. But that only comes through.

Doing it, doing the thing. Like Stacy's saying, if we don't. If we don't let people do the thing, then they're never. It's that one step after the other, which is. Which is really how at least we try to embody that ideal. But, Stacy, I want Felina to be able to talk.

Yeah. No, I love that. Thank you, Felina. Yeah.

So many amazing thoughts, ideas, sharing. I appreciate this so, so much. So thank you for letting me join. A couple things come to mind, and I want to speak to a few things that were just said. But before I do that, I want to really. I want to go 30,000ft, if I can, for a moment. Two or so years ago, Surgeon General comes out and states, we are in a loneliness epidemic.

Strong words right. On top of that, we're seeing that not only in all of us and our communities and who we serve, but even more, I don't want to say important, but something that needs so much attention is a youth loneliness epidemic. Crisis within our youth in regards to isolation and blame it on social media, blame it on smartphones. Jonathan Haidt's book got a lot of attention around this recently.

The work we are all doing is so important. It is saving lives, truly. I mean, we are in a loneliness epidemic. So I just want to acknowledge anybody who's watching this, listening, whatever, to take that first step, even if it's one other person or two other people or five other people, be bold and step out and create community, whatever that looks like to you. And as has been said, let the community lead. That's also our motto at Herahub is we are a platform.

Right?

We are a platform. We're the floor and everybody comes in and contributes and shares their expertise. So incredibly important. That's what connects people with each other. I've made a thousand mistakes over the years in growing and creating community and learning, truly. But as has been said, letting the community speak and lead and giving them a platform is, is. I think all of you know what we're doing here.

Just a couple other things. Fun. I love that.

And. And just the word is way overused. But authenticity. Right?

Like, be who you are.

Like, if you're goofy, be goofy.

Right.

It's totally fine.

Like, be who you are.

Let people show up how they are, but absolutely have fun. We, we have lots of dance parties at Hara Hub. Silly dance parties.

Just giving people that opportunity to connect over things that are even outside of business. We're obviously in that track of helping women launch and grow their business. That's our focus. But it is important to have fun and that connective tissue. We're a platform for dozens of nonprofit organizations in each of our locations to come into our space and have a place where they can build community as well. So being that platform, platform so good.

Can you share a little bit about how the gurus that you have work? Because I think that's part of what this all is. Right. You're empowering people to take ownership of helping serve the community.

Yeah. So we're a public benefit corporation, and that's one of our four pillars of giving back to the broader community.

So in our version, gurus are subject matter experts that donate their time to the community. So they host office hours. Like, think of like a professor where you can go in and ask any questions. And that is a public benefit. Anybody can come and tap into the wisdom of our gurus. So again, we're the platform where they can step up and we.

Demand that they give. Right. They're not there to sell. They're not there to promote themselves. They really, truly are there to be a resource and a support for folks. So again, it's all within the community. That's a thing in our business accelerator program. A lot of business accelerators bring in outside mentors. You know, it's these people out here that know the things and they're going to come in and tell us and then leave again. Ours is we're the platform where our members can step up and give them an opportunity to lead.

So good. How do you decide?

Like, how do you identify them?

Yeah, we're usually the ones that are tapping gurus.

Sometimes people who are already giving back to the community and we're giving them a container to do that in a more efficient way. How many of us have been asked, can I take you to coffee and pick your brain? Right? You're like, that sounds painful.

So giving folks who are already giving back to the community an opportunity to set some structure around that so they are not getting over tapped. And we have very specific categories for our gurus. So it, you know, it's around those business acumen things mostly that people need, right? A bookkeeper, an attorney, a digital marketing expert, those types of things.

So good. And Christina, I've seen this in your community too. Do you mind sharing how it works for yours?

So I encourage, I love what she's saying because I encourage members, even the ones who are paying members of the group who can promote to give back and be position themselves as authorities in the group by going in the group and seeing questions and answering them. Instead of coming to the place where a lot of people come into a community, where it's like taking, right? It's like, oh gosh, I've got to jump into that chat and I gotta promote my business. You know, you see that all the time, right? In chat you're like, oh no, here comes the promoter, right? And like, it just ruins the whole dynamic of people are having a conversation. Same thing in groups. People jump into other people's posts and they'll have an agenda. So I tell them, you know, the first thing you want to do is you want to not have the agenda you want to give, because what you give, you'll get back naturally. It's like the law of repetition or whatever you call it. So it's when you do that in communities, people are going to notice you and they're going to want to get to know you better. And therefore, people do business with people they know like and trust. So I love to encourage people to be helpful. And I know when someone posts in the community a problem or they need advice, people just rally around it, you know, and everybody's like, oh, let me help you. With this and that you see like the best of people come out in that. So I think it's really important to encourage that within, within your communities is to set the stage to tell your members that that's what you expect for them to be genuinely helping one another and come with that attitude instead of, you know, being self serving and you know, and thinking only of yourself because you'll, you'll benefit more and then you'll build relationships, make friendships and it'll just be so much more beneficial for you than, you know, doing it the other way.

Yeah, so this is really good because it's like what Eileen said earlier with tapping the you inside of you coming from this place of contribution. Right. That's what, that's what basically we're talking about is. One of the biggest things with finding your people is to be able to identify what everyone's like values and things. And I think Laura, that's why we're seeing it so much in modern prairie. You know, because they're getting to see what they're doing is validated. Validated. Right. And so then it's or feeling validated. So then they're, they're coming more into their own.

It depends on the niche too. So like groups that don't have, like I say, an agenda like, you know, when you get a bunch of women coaches and business owners and you know, they want naturally to get business but, but in other niches. So you're in a knitting, knitting group, you're not going to have that kind of, you know, dynamic. But when you come into these, you know, most people who are in business, business, women can have that, you know, that blinders on where they're like you said, they're not thinking of that contribution like Eileen was saying, you know, and to be able to encourage that is so powerful because we know that when you give away value, people are going to want to buy from you. You know, I see a lot of these coaches say don't give away your free stuff. Well, look how, how Alex Hormozi, he gives everything away for free. Look how successful he is. You know, I always tell people, give your best stuff away for free. If you're ever on YouTube and you start watching a video and it's great, you start binging that whole channel and then chances are you're going to buy from that person. So for, you know, same thing in groups, if you're just going in there, like Eileen, you were saying, giving these great tidbits and helping and sharing your best stuff, people are going to be attracted. It's one of the best marketing strategies you can have by providing tremendous value in communities. And you know, whether you're there for just to make friendships, whether you're there to get business, whatever group or community you're in, if you show up that way, you know, great things will happen for you because people are going to be attracted to you, you're going to make friendships, you're going to get business and it's going to, you know, help your life tremendously. I believe.

So.

Good.

I think one of the things I'm just going to add to that another way to give value because I often, even for people who are joining communities, they're like, oh, I'm just here to learn. I don't have anything to give. And one of the things we encourage both hosts and members to do is just ask great questions because it can start like a chain of conversation that has tons of tidbits and nuggets and really interesting stories even in the comments below. But that's something that anybody can do. Anybody can go in and be like, what is the best question I could ask to get people talking? And that's going to provide value to the person who runs the community because you're going to create engagement, it's going to provide value to the members. So it really is something anybody can do.

So good.

Yeah, this is add to that, if I could.

Oh, please.

Yes. So I really agree with that. I think that, you know, like some of you here, my community is not business based and so it doesn't really matter what you do for work. You're there because you're attracted traveler. But we have a lot of travel dreamers as well and who can't offer travel advice or don't know what women should wear in that conservative country. But what happens is, and Christina, I'm sure that you've experienced this too because we have kind of, you know, both on Facebook and both on the larger side. But I'll, I'll tell you just a really quick story because it's one of my favorites. But we had a woman in our group, this was a few years ago now, who was traveling solo, met a man, fell in love. He was from Turkey. She went to Turkey to like be with him, meet his family, whatever, start a life, I don't know. But he turned abusive and she was there by herself and she locked herself in the bathroom and to try to get away from him. And she was.

Posting in my group, in our group while she was sitting on the bathroom floor telling Us what was going on and what ended up happening is thousands of comments. I mean very quickly we had to turn it off. It was overwhelming. But she was calling the police and they wouldn't come because they just wouldn't. So what we did is we all called the police in Turkey. And so after floods, like probably hundreds of calls, they did finally come and they got her out of the bathroom and there was a woman from the group group standing outside with the police to, to take this girl and help her get home after this happened. And so I think that you know, I share this example because there were plenty of people in the in this comment section who had had never been to Turkey, had had no idea. I mean Turkey is not even the important part here. Wouldn't even know what to do in that kind of emergency situation. But they were given a way to contribute and that was to call the police and to check up on her and to be a part of this journey. So like ask you know in, in my, in my type of community and, and I think you can create it in, in any kind of community. Giving ways for people to contribute in in, in a way that that they can will make them feel a part of it. It makes them feel valuable and that they like they belong because they do. So I feel like finding, finding more of those opportunities for you know, I guess maybe the newbies in in a community is a really good way to kind of just keep like get them to belong.

So.

That'S amazing. You agree this you save someone's life potentially. That is amazing. And yeah we we had sit once was someone was hinting at self harm and she was in another country. And I remember that and that was, you know, I actually called in that country try to call the police to do a well check and other members did too. But it's very scary when things like that happen. And then a lot of times like if you're on Facebook they'll like flag it and say okay, that's you know, like they'll take the post down and then you're like oh that's something real. You know. So it's a very, very tricky but you, I think you see the best in community communities and community when something happens. Like you see like when the they had the with the storms and stuff in North Carolina, all these groups popped up and communities were coming together trying to find people helping one another. A lot of local groups you'll see that sense of community. And like you said newbie people may feel you know, oh you know, I'm shy. I don't want to comment. So, like, encouraging them, like you guys have, saying to just ask your questions, just give support, or just comment on someone else's post. Giving some support to try to get them out of their shell. But I think the best comes out in people when we see someone struggling. That's our human nature. And you can see that. And it's beautiful when that happens in community.

Yeah, I agree.

So good. And Jane, I know you have to hop off, but I'd love to ask you.

What would be, like, the thing that someone could do tomorrow? Like, one action to find their people inside of a community.

Find their people in a community. Oh, gosh, I'm gonna give two things because they're both really easy and it could kind of be the same. Put out there what you have to give and what you have to get. Like, whether that's if you're in a digital community, a field on a profile, if you're in, like, a physical community, like volunteering to do an event or something. But I think I agree with everybody here. Like, like, the more you give, the more you get back. And then my other thing again, I'm a broken record. Ask a great question. Like, people are like, I don't know how to run community. Eileen, you said it yourself. I guarantee with all your speaking training, you can hold a fantastic conversation and ask a great question. That's the skill you need to be a host. Like, imagine if I'm sure every one of us here feels like we could host a dinner party and, like, do a pretty damn good job. That's what running a community is. It's not like there's no other tricks. It's like being the host of a freaking awesome dinner party. And I think more people can do it than think they can do it.

So good. And one more question. What do you think to find someone's transition that they're in? Is it asking what transition they're in or is it asking a goal they want to achieve? I'm always thinking, sorry, I'm answering this question as I'm saying it's so my daughter's about to graduate, so I'm about to be in the empty nester transition. And like, anyone that would, like, talk to me about that, I would be like, please let me join your group. Because I'm like, going through a whole thing right now about it. But I'm wondering, I'm wondering, like, since you've been kind of like studying this with mighty networks, is there something that helps us tap into the transition.

Yeah. And I. This goes back to kind of being an optimist. My favorite way is to ask them, like, you know, close. You don't have to close your eyes, but. But if you're a hippie like me, you can, like, close your eyes and visualize a year from now. Like, what would the best year ever look like? Because you want the transition to be from whatever to, like, better and good.

Yeah.

And I think you can get a really compelling story, and this also helps. And again, this is not the use case for everybody, but if you were going to start a paid community or something and you really wanted to, like, market it, you start with, like, what is that Best year ever? And it should be really, really great, because people want to be aspirational and visualize where they can be in a year. And from there, you can work backwards to, like, oh, so you're in transition around this thing. But for you, Stacey, your best year ever, a year from now, is it, like, your kids visit every holiday, Maybe you have a new hobby, someone's bedroom becomes a craft room, whatever. Like, really visualize it. And.

Even the act of doing that, I think, makes you feel a little less alone and excited about a transition that could feel scary.

Yeah.

So good. Thank you. Thanks for coming, too.

I appreciate it.

I love meeting everybody.

Good to meet you.

So I'd love to just kind of go to. This has been incredible, you guys. I'm like, literally.

The challenge is written. The challenge is written. Laura, do you want. Since you've been. You've been my. We're Bernie and Art together. I don't know if you want to explain that, but, like, we have our roles. Do you want to explain? Like, I want to tap into the energy of where we're at. Like, maybe what I'm looking for from a Do the Thing challenge. And, like.

Explain, like, how it goes, you know, based on what we've been doing and then. And then I don't know where I'm going to go from that, but just maybe start there, and then I'll ask a question after you start.

Explain how I do the thing Challenge goes.

So I'm thinking.

Let me.

Sorry.

I'm giving you more context.

So basically, we're very simpatico. But I'm not in your brain yet.

I know. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, so Laura has a way of putting, like, my brain into words.

Maybe just say what's coming alive for you right now, knowing me and what I'm, like, thinking and, like, what? Like, we're about to do something and Like. Like, just say that.

Oh, sure. What am I getting out of this panel? Yeah. My 20 years of being a copy editor and writer coming handy. I mean, I'm writing things down in my notebook, too. And what I'm writing down is a lot of things. First of all, I love what Jane just said. I'm going to apply that. What would the best year ever look like? Because what she just did was she reframed something. You're looking at something with dread. She's saying, no, look at it with excitement. That's cool. I mean, I'm a big fan of that because I'm a big fan of lists about intelligence, intentions. So I'm going to do that. I would say the thing that's coming alive for me the most as we talk about this is, you know, I keep thinking about the experiences I've had giving book talks. And I would be in a bookstore or a library of some kind. And my favorite part, every time of giving one of those talks was how people would come up to me afterwards and they would say. They would tell me just the. Oh, God, the scariest stories and the most traumatic things that had happened to them.

And.

And I would sit there and think, this is so strange. Why are they sharing this with me? They just met me. And really what happened was because I sat there and I was brave enough to be vulnerable and tell my story in a book form. That created that space. So now I'm the safe person, and they can come and tell me that.

Wow.

And that in itself is a kind of community, because what I would do with that is I would get their email address because obviously I have a line of people, so I can't. I can only give so much time to. My husband would be standing there acting like a bouncer, like, all right, move it along. But you can only give so much time to each person. So I would get their email address and, you know, write to them later, and we could talk about it more. And, you know, people might say something like, oh, that's crazy. Like, you can't possibly have the amount of time to do that with every single person. But I think, actually, no, if that. If your brand is creating community, you do need to do that. You need to be available for. And that's something that Nicole and Melissa do so well on Modern Prairie is. I watched them do that. How they're there for each person. And really what that does is look just like I was saying before, every person is a teacher in some way. Every person is an expert in some way. But a lot of people are leaders, and they don't know that they are because no one has ever taught them to be. And I don't want to sound sexist, but it happens a lot with women, because we aren't. I don't think growing up, it's assumed that that's what we're going to be, and yet a lot of us have those skills and just need the permission to step into that light and do it. So that's what was happening when I gave those book talks. Someone felt like I had given them permission, and then they came up and they told me their story, and, like, what I wrote down on my notebook is, people are just waiting for permission to be valuable.

You know, that's what it is. Everyone is valuable. Everyone has something of value to give. And if you can find some way that you are uniquely giving them that permission, to me, that's how I build community. And I mean, I have communities of writers and Modern Prairie and my activism. Like, I just. I have multiple communities all around, but I think I just did it by accident because I'm very fortunate, because I had a mother who always made me feel like I was valuable, and she was a guidance counselor, and that helped, but she always made me feel like I had something to say, and my father, too. But we have to remember not everybody had that. So it's almost like sometimes I think when we create these communities, it's almost like we're creating a new family for people where you're able to be the kind, giving parent that helps them to come. Like, they just. Like the peacock and Felina's background, they just come up and they just shine, and it's. We've seen it happen. We've seen it happen in Modern Prairie multiple times. It's beautiful when it happens.

Happens.

Yeah. No, so good. And so this is. So. This is amazing, you guys, because I feel like I've got a really good thread now for the challenge, which is, like, the fun piece, right? So making sure there's fun. And I'm. Look, it's so great when I get to see everyone all in one kind of space, because I'm, like, thinking of Nicole. You do this fun with the.

The craft part. You know, do like. You do, like, crafting sessions. There's book clubs. There's, like, a liveness, right? And all the different things that you're. You're, like, creating Felina, you're doing this with, like, your marketing Mondays, you know, co working sessions, dance parties. You mentioned I saw you did a clothing Swap like the other day, like each of you. Christina, I keep seeing everything from you. Eileen, you're doing the offer audits, you're doing the wins where people are sharing their wins and their struggles. And bringing people like on zooms is like a really good way to also connect people together. And then we're going to have contribution. We're gonna have some kind of play making sure something's like also like experimental, experiential. What can you give? What do you need help with? Asking some great questions. And then I did tag once. That could be like a fun thing, like a tag game.

Something like that. And then also kind of like trying to tap into their transition with asking like what that year would look like. So. So I just gave a lot of info. I'd love to have you guys just share as we're closing out, the one thing that you think that we should do to help people find their people inside of a community. So we could just do a little round, round robin of that.

Who do you want to go first? You want me to go first?

Yeah, that'd be great.

The one thing I would say if you're commuting, if you're creating a community and you want to find people and it's coming from place, obviously someplace that's in your heart and you've experienced, is to really think about like, like I think Jane had said about the end result. But when you put into a search bar of any, any software, whether it's Mighty Networks or Facebook you want to put in, what would you be searching for? So like you said, Stacy, about being an empty nester. So think about what you would type in in that search bar. Empty Nestor women support group, let's say, right? And then hit groups and then see what comes up. And that's going to give you an indication of active groups that are similar that you can look through. And then in order to see if they're engaged, you can see before you even join it, like how many new members have joined and more importantly how many posts per week or per day are in that group, because there may be one that was not posted in three months. So, you know, that's not an active group. I would say too you'll see public versus private groups. And on Facebook, the public groups mean they're open, meaning anyone can see what's in it without joining. So, you know, if it's sensitive topic, you don't want other people to know what you're saying. That might not be if the group, you know, kind of group you want to start or find people in if you want to join a group. So you might want to go to a private group and if you're starting your own group, you can use the same technique to actually find a name for your group. Because everything on Facebook is a search engine. The little bots go out and they suggest in groups to your group. If you want your group to get members organically from Facebook, you want to have a searchable term as your name so that the little AI bots will go out and put it in other groups. So one thing I just recently started doing, there's meta AI now you can ask questions. So you can literally just go into meta AI and ask about your niche and, and ask and say what are the most engaged and interactive Facebook groups? And then put the niche and then obviously you know, it works for meta that AI, right? It's such, it's like a little better than ChatGPT because it's for Facebook group related questions or Facebook questions. And then refine it and you'll be able to find groups and it'll start suggesting things to you as well. And then you could say, well, what are the most searchable keywords? What are people searching for? What are empty nesters whose kids are going, moms who are going, kids are going to college, what support groups are they in here on Facebook? And then it will just give you all those names. And then obviously you always make a name your own. You don't take anyone else's name, but you'll come to see and get a feel for the keywords and what's working and what groups have the most members that you can then take and use for yourself, you know, to put in your about section and into your name. And it also help you to join other groups and start modeling that if you're not ready to start your own group, you know, join other people's groups and you then you can even go in and say, you know, we have women in our group. The most popular posts are so simple. They're like, where are my Christian entrepreneurs? And then you'll have thousands of people enter, where are my Muslim entrepreneurs? We have a woman who does that or who lives in San Diego. And that will blow up like it's, it's simple, you know, because people love that to be called out their little tribes, like you're in a big tribe, but they love it. You know, where are the moms who love to crystals and love to meditate and you know, all of them will come up. So it's like this we think we have to be like, really smart and clever to have a viral post. And it's like so simple. So that's what I would just suggest doing.

So good. Thank you.

Felina, do you want to go next?

Yeah. I'll take a different angle to the question is know what your vision is, what you hope to build. And be super clear about that. From the day I started Hera Hub, it was to support over 20,000 women in either the launch or the growth of their business. And that 20,000 number has been out there. We, we've hit about 14 so far. 14,000.

So just be very clear on what your mission is and people will either be attracted to that or they won't. And it keeps things simple.

So good. Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So I was actually going to say something really similar to Felina. I think it is really important that you have a very clear mission. But I also wanted encourage anybody who.

Doesn'T, you know, I'll just say, like, for my community, I'm not the focus. Like, I don't put my face on very much. A lot of people in my community probably don't even know my name or who I am or anything about me. I'm not somebody who is particularly comfortable sharing my, you know, personal stories with a large group of people, especially when those people pay me large amounts of money sometimes to take them internationally. I just feel like it's something that I don't always feel comfortable with. So I'm close to some community members who I, who I meet. But anyway, my point is, if you're not, if you're not trying to lead this thing with your whole heart, like on center stage, it's okay. You don't have to. You, but you do. As Felina said, you do have to have a really strong vision. Like you have to have rules. Like, I think rules are really important in a community because it tells people how they're expected to behave, how they're expected to interact with each other. And it's your job to enforce them. And you, you have to enforce them and you have to get comfortable doing so kindly, respectfully. But, you know, you have a vision. You create rules in order to stay really hyper focused and true to that vision. And you have to be the one to enforce them. But I mean, ultimately I just, I just want to encourage anyone who, you know, sees, like, Stacy, you're so good at.

Like engaging your communities with you, like with these kinds of panels and the lives that you do. And it's something that's Been so inspirational to me because I am the opposite. But wherever you are on the spectrum, you can be a community leader and you can be really successful at it.

So love that. Thank you. And Eileen.

My encouragement so we're trying to find our people is to stop hiding. So it's like the number. I love this quote from Steven Pressfield which says.

Like, what ails us has nothing to do with being sick or being wrong. What ails you and I is that we're playing life as an amateur.

And to me, this quote is like, the thing that's wrong with, like, the pressure, the stress, the drama, llama, you know, the comparison is because we're playing life as an amateur. And I think what. Why we're playing life as an amateur is because we're hiding. And so the way you find your people is simply to stop hiding.

Whatever that means to you. You know, like, whether it's like searching on Facebook group or it's like doing research or jumping in or joining a mastermind or getting it. Like getting in a community will enable you those initial steps. But that's the thing. I think that I would encourage people. Whatever that means to you is just like, stop hiding. And I love this. And I'll just. Yeah. I think there's this other cool quote by St. Irenaeus which says, the glory of God is man fully alive. And I think you. You don't really know what living is, and you don't really know what life is until you're in community and you come fully alive. So stop hiding.

So good. Nicole.

I was. I was gonna say two things, and a lot repeats what a lot of these amazingly fabulous women have already shared. But I think the first thing is know your why, know what it is that you want. I think a lot of us and, you know, think about resolutions. There's a reason why resolutions don't work. Because think I'm gonna lose weight or I'm gonna do xyz. When you actually stop and you think about your why, who it' is it for you? Does it align with your values? I think that's really important because to Amanda's point, if you know your why, you're going to be able to be authentic and stay true to what it is that you're actually seeking in the communities that you find. And the other piece is to give yourself permission. You are worth taking the time to understand your why, to being seen, Eileen, to that point, to feeling visible, to give yourself permission to know that you deserve to take time on yourself again. As women, we Always deprioritize for many reasons. There's not enough time. There's this, there's that, there's this. If it's really important to you and you know your why, then make the time to do it. And I think that is a first step. Many of us are like, I want to climb Everest. That's the goal. But we don't have the right equipment to do it. I think it's really figuring that piece out that's super important to then understand what community you want to be a part.

So.

Good.

And Laura, closing us out.

I have. I'm writing down so many ideas, and I'm learning so much from everybody in here. Thank you. Thank you for everything that you share today. I would say, you know, sometimes I see people start groups and it's like it starts to feel to me almost like they care more about starting the group group than they do about what they're teaching the group, in a way. And I feel I haven't technically started a formal group of my own, but I feel that if I did, the closest I've come is my newsletter, which has been lying dormant for a long time now. But.

I feel like when I start a group, I start to feel that way. What is it that's bringing everybody here and how can I make that happen? I think you can't do that. I think you can't prioritize having the community and making it about you and what it is that you're trying to sell. I think you have to always be providing interesting content in some way, like, make them feel like they're coming there to talk to you and to connect with each other for a reason, because what you have to share is valuable, and you know that. So it's like a confidence level with that. And then. So what I wrote down is undeniable. Like, whatever you're providing should be undeniable, that everybody should want this. And you know that going into it, and you're doing it because you're having fun and it brings you joy because that's like the ultimate attractor to everybody. The other thing I would say is stay curious. You know, I've met authors who, if a podcast asks them to come on and they're like, oh, they only have such and such amount of followers. They won't do it. You know, and you can't do that. You have to continue to. I mean, obviously don't say yes to something if you don't feel right about it. Like Nicole says, use your intuition. But I would say stay open to possibilities. Because, like, let's say I have an event where I'm going to speak to an audience and only five people show up. One of those people could have been a person who helped me to connect with somebody else. So stay open to that. And then the other piece I would say is anytime you start out in any new endeavor, the universe is going to support you.

You.

So if you're.

You've started a community, you're starting to feel nervous, the gremlins are starting to show up, and you're saying, why me? How do I know I can do this? Just remember that any forward action that is producing progress in other people is a thing the universe wants you to do. And it. It is. It is helping you. So have faith.

Wow. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, ladies, for doing this. I appreciate your time so much. I cannot wait for this challenge to be created. I. I cannot wait to listen back to this and actually start writing the dares out. And for those of you that are in San Diego or you want to come to the event that we have coming, Felina is actually going to be one of the speakers, so is Amanda and Nicole. So many great things that said, she talks San Diego. It's coming up April 26th. And for those of you that are also on Facebook, come join my community there. It's do the Thing collaboration.

Thanks for joining do the Thing. Don't wait for opportunity.

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