YouTube Channel: @dothethingformula

So, for those of you that do not know us yet, my name is Stacy Lauren, and I'm the host of the do the thing podcast and the do the thing dating experiment. And we now have this community of people that are doing the thing by using a formula that I had uncovered through the podcast of what gets people to do the thing. And I've been testing it through challenges, and now meet Randy, who is my cousin, and also the amazing back end of do the thing and do all things with everything and has been transitioning to front end, which is why she just agreed to come on the zoom with me.

It's easier when I'm on with you.

And I think that's a really great example of meeting yourself where you are and going a micro step of away, and then that's what helps you move.

Exactly.

Yeah. So we were just talking, and then, of course, I'm like, we have to get on a zoom because there's just too much goodness in what we're talking about. So we're excited because we had the find your voice challenge. It's a live challenge. It was in January of this year, and up to that point, it was the most transformational challenge that we had had, and so much that by the end of it, you, me, and the community members were just in awe that in 10 minutes a day, that you could have that level of growth. Right?

Yeah. The one thing that I saw, especially with the community members, not only did they find their voice, but they also had purpose and confidence and was able to use that in their everyday life after they went through that. And that was really amazing to see that transformation. Before, they didn't even know what they were doing, and now they had some confidence, and. And now, like I said, and they did something with the purpose and went on to help other people, which I really enjoyed seeing those transitions. Yeah.

And the cool thing was this wasn't even a challenge that we had planned.

Pretty much.

We were doing the startup podcast challenge. The date was already set. I remember I was in Europe at the time, and there was a moment where I'm like, I don't think they're ready for this podcast challenge, because they were getting so hung up with the word podcast. And to me, the podcast was the vehicle to get their voice activated, but it didn't have to be a podcast. And so that's when the find your voice challenge was born. We postponed the podcast challenge, and then we pretty much just did the find your voice challenge. And so that's what's so cool. It was Meant to be just this bridge, but now it's almost turning out to be this root of everything.

Yeah, the root, the start of everything. Yeah, exactly.

And so right now, we're in the middle of doing this as a beta on demand challenge because of the power. And the cool thing is we'd been talking about doing this for a while, but we've been going challenge crazy. And I've done so many.

And then I wasn't until I was walking with a friend of mine who was telling me that she was looking to expand outside of what she was doing. And I gave her this voice note dare, which for those of you that don't know, that's a find your voice is. It's basically a dare a day. And it's a self reflection voice note, but it also gives you an opportunity to go outside of a comfort circle and ask someone else the voice note reflection as well. So it's for you, but you can also expand it outside of you if you're ready for that. And I gave her a voice note dare, and it was pretty much, if you didn't have to worry about money, what would you be doing? And I even forgot that I'd given her that dare. And so when I met her a few weeks later, she was like, oh, by the way, I did your dare. And I was like, you did? And she said, yeah, and I've gone into yoga and I'm getting into all other kinds of things now because that's what I'm really passionate about. And then she said, I'm really wanting expansion. And so I then said, oh, man, find your voice would be perfect for you. And that's pretty much what spurned the on demand because I realized I couldn't just give her the challenge she needed to be around with other people that we're doing it too. And so that's why we're in the beta test right now for the on demand challenge. And we had 20 people sign up and they're doing it. And I am finally connecting the dots on why it was so transformational, because I don't even think we knew before why it worked. And now that I'm like every day recording a video and I am really tapping into the why. I think it's been really eye opening for me too.

Yeah, I love that. And I love that it can be on demand because then anybody can do it at any time and really get the growth and the movement, as you say, through the little micro steps. You really dialed it in. Really excited about that.

I realized that the reason why it works so much is because so many of us just live on this conscious level of thinking, and we're swimming with thoughts in our head all of the time. And really, what this practice, it's like you're building this muscle every day of learning how to tap into your deeper thoughts, and the more you do it, really the better you get at it. And I think that's the thing. I didn't realize until doing this challenge, it wasn't just the actual reflections that we gave the voice stairs. It's the actual flexing of the muscle of doing it and learning how to tap into that.

Yeah. I mean, it's helped me. I went through the challenge during the live challenge, and it helped me break through some of the barriers that I didn't even know I had and also helped me discover the things that I never knew I wanted or never knew that I thought I wanted. So it was kind of cool as a person that just experienced the whole finder voice challenge itself, you know, during the live. And now what I'm seeing everybody doing the on demand. It's just like, that would all make sense. How many challenges have we done? It just all makes sense. This one challenge is going to be the root of everything. So I love it. Got it.

Exciting. And so what we were just talking about and why we have to get on the zoom is. I don't even think I remember half the stuff that spurns these things. I started connecting the dots more. I'd interviewed Lauren Maldwin on my podcast. I don't remember the number. So she works for my friend Chrissy McDaniel, and she had helped me after I exited my business. And I forgot that's how I process a lot of my ideas was by leaving these voice messages for myself that only she would hear, but it was just voice message of idea, of idea, of idea. I think you remember that episode because you were like, oh, you could do that for me too. And I wasn't even leaving the voice notes. No.

And now that you leave them for me, it's amazing.

Yeah. Because I sometimes don't even know I have a half thought of what I want. But once I'm able to speak, speak to it, it opens it up. And then I forgot until I started connecting these dots. I even did venting voice notes when I was at my worst. I did a venting voice note of me in crisis and just being able to get the thoughts out of my head and being able to listen back to it and hear how I'm really Feeling and honoring that emotion. Because sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel these things, but when we can almost give ourselves this voice to activate it and let us get it out and then to listen back if we want, we don't have to. It gives it a space to be.

Heard and to be seen, you know, I love that. I don't know if you remember I told you when I was little, I used to journal a lot. I had a lot of emotion. And as a young adult, and I never looked at it while I was in the moment. I would write it down and then I'd read it after. But there's something that even visceral is the word that I want to put. When you're actually listening to yourself versus writing it down and hearing that raw emotion and hearing your voice and listening it to it as an outsider, for me, it was much easier to process and understand. Oh, wow, that was pretty deep. Why was I feeling that way? And just to hear that emotion makes it a lot better versus journaling is what I felt. I mean, I think you would have been something that I was upset about while walking and I was going all over the place. But I listened to it recently and I was like. And I said some funny things only because I was trying to analyze what I was feeling. And I was like, you know what? I was pretty right. But it was like I understood why I was so upset at that point.

Well, yeah. And we come from this society of having to suck in our emotions and not say what we get up and being able to work through whatever's coming at us. But when we can learn to process those emotions and. And be able to speak to how we're feeling and not just hide them and let them. They don't go right. They stay. You still feel it. Your energy's off then after that.

Yeah. And I love that because that really helped me a lot. And it's been helping me a lot using a voice note versus writing. Whether it's happy, sad, angry, venting, whatever. Even in the trade that I'm in, I'm always strategizing, figuring out. It's easier for me to. I sleep and I dream these things. I wake up and I pick up my phone and I start recording so I don't forget it. That's kind of funny, too, because it helps in so many ways therapeutically, just for everything. So back to finding your voice. I'm using it for a different thing, but just the act of recording and listening and sharing. I mean, I've shared it. I'VE never shared it before, so that's really brave. And that's like a little microchange. Sharing it is like, whoa. Being brave enough to share it and to be vulnerable enough. And then that's the thing I love about the community, too, is because everybody's doing it, and then you get to have the support of people that are doing the same thing as you, and it's just such a beautiful thing. You don't have to be embarrassed. You can be vulnerable, and you still get all that support. It's just there. It's just great. Yeah.

And it's almost like the more vulnerable you see someone being, the more vulnerable you are, and then the less alone you feel because you feel connected to something so much bigger than you.

Yeah. And you get brave. You're not afraid to do it. Like, some people that are apprehensive to do it, they see everybody else doing it, so what the heck? You know what I mean? And it doesn't have to be perfect, and it doesn't even matter. It's just doing it out there, being the messy people. It's kind of fun, right?

I was thinking about that, too, with the Go Live challenge, because we saw everyone doing it. Right. It was so freaking amazing getting to see people do it. And then the last day we saw Neil go live, and he was like, I've been watching you the whole time, inspiring me and encouraging me, and here I am, and I get chills thinking about it, because people don't realize. The people that are doing the thing, they don't realize there's all these lurkers there watching, and it just. Right word, the right moment, the right whatever. And it can't come from me. It can't come from you. Sometimes it has to come from them, and then they get inspired, and then they do it, and then that's where the movement happens. And to me, that's coolest freaking thing. Right. And so that's what I love about seeing him do his first live. And then he came on the end of Celebration.

I couldn't write. Exactly. It's the first time we actually saw him, too, because he hasn't been participating in the live one, the live lies, the liveline. It was just. Wow, that was really a profound moment because he really stretched his comfort zone and moved through the comfort circles, which, you know, you could talk about, and he just went for it, and I loved it.

Yeah. Okay. So now this is what even got us on the zoom today, because we weren't.

Yeah.

I was talking to Randy about Because right now we're about to do the dating dare challenge that's coming up soon. And then we have the two hour cocktail party. We have all these other things that we're doing, working on, but we're really converting this finer voice challenge to on demand because that is a root challenge that's for everything. And I was thinking, I'm like, this is really also for the dating people. It's not just for the podcast people. It's not just for the Go Live people. It's for everyone. And then I was remembering even when I first met my boyfriend, we've been together for two and a half years now. And when I first met him, I had been married 20 years before. I used to play voice notes that I had recorded. I didn't even think I was ever going to share them with anyone. They were just voice notes for me. And I would be upset about something that would happen with us. Typically, there was some kind of pattern or trigger or something that was coming up, right? Because when you get out of one relationship and even though it had been years and you go into a new one, you don't realize all of this stuff and junk that's still there. So I was recording my voice notes like I normally do, and then I just realized I couldn't speak the words yet to him. And so I played my voice note and then that's how we were then able to process it, what was going on. And then I just wanted to talk about that for a minute because there's so much there that I don't think people realize is that I couldn't communicate it in real life yet. Now, obviously I can, but it took me having this practice, and I'm not saying this is what you should do with your relationship, but I'm saying now that I have this practice and I flex this muscle, I know how to speak those needs now where I didn't before.

And when you told me that this afternoon, I was like, wow, that's really cool. You use that as a tool to communicate, which gave you the courage to actually verbalize what you were feeling through the comfort. First you felt it, then you recorded it, then you shared the recording, which is wow, right? With somebody. And now you're able to talk it.

And verbalize it. I'm sure there's some fear, but without reservation, you're not afraid to use your voice in the manner that you need to be or speak up your truth.

This is what's happening. This is what's so interesting about this, because I didn't remember this until now. I used to before I would talk to people, actually when I was using this practice regularly. But I still was uncomfortable speaking my feelings. I would voice note anytime I was upset. That was the way I would process anything. I would just do a venting voice note so then I could say what I was upset about. The charge would dissipate a little bit. So then when I talked to the person, I didn't sound as agitated and it would help me. Now I don't do that. I don't even know when my last venting voice note was because now I can process the emotions so much faster. But isn't that interesting? So I was using these voice notes as a way to help reduce the charge. And that's why he listened to it. Because that was one of those where I was upset about something, I wanted to process it. I left the voice note and then instead of being able to speak it because I wasn't ready yet, I had him listen to it.

What a healthy way to de escalate a situation that could have been major. Right now you're using it as a tool in this circumstance to de escalate something that could have been explosive and but gave you enough time to process what you were feeling so you can communicate it properly. Yeah.

And I actually still say this a lot of times with him because I'm like, okay, this is something I could easily just suck up because I've been so many times. Because I don't like to be being a recovering people pleaser or wanting everyone to be happy. I'm not that person that's comfortable speaking my feelings, saying what I need, saying what I want. That has not been my norm.

I.

In the last few years, this has been a skill that I'm still working on. And so I'll say it all the time. It makes it easier for me to say it is. I could easily just suck this up because I don't like to be the one that's a bother or whatever that word is. That's just not who I normally am. But then what happens is it's great. He notices if I'm off at all. So he's able to ask me. Which is great to have a partner like that. But also that's where eggshells can come up. Right? Because you don't think the person notices, but it's there because you're not giving yourself the chance to express how you're feeling.

It's so funny you say that because we're always in our head, right? We're always in our heads. The thoughts are just coming, whether they're positive, negative. We're just always in our heads. And being able to not suck it up and be able to voice it without any reserve. You could say it without being nasty, but being able to express yourself the way you're feeling. How would anybody know if all this stuff is stuck ringing in your head and you're having fights with people that they don't even know why you're mad at them? Because you're already having the fight in your head, right?

Oh, yeah. And it's interesting because I'm so not in my head now. I'm so. From my heart that I could see it when I watch it Married at first sight show right now. That's what I'm watching. And I literally look at these people and I could be like, they're not saying what they feel. I could tell that it's not congruent. That's how much I feel like I've been practiced at this. So it's so interesting to me just to see that a simple tool like the find your voice can really help someone get all of that out and then be able to speak it in a way that's not reactive and then.

Just taking that either one further and not even talking about emotion. I think by doing the dares in the find your voice, you're also discovering what you really want. Let's not put the anger and all that stuff that you're also great. I never knew I wanted that. Wow. I can actually do that. I did this. Why didn't I do this before? Or some of the dares really put you in situations that are great and they really get you to think what was holding you back. It's silly. It's silly that these little things hold you back from living the life that you should really be living. So using your voice, you know, with me, I had to shut up a lot. And I'm using now. I'm articulating it and really in a productive and respectful way, communicating things that I never had the ability to do before because I was always mind your place, don't speak loud, don't do that. Those kind of things. Don't say those things for whatever reason. And I'm really enjoying finding my voice and using it in positive ways.

Yeah. And it's been interesting because that's the thing I really learned by switching the challenge now to the beta and really kind of diving into why it worked. It's because we don't even notice that we're not doing it right. And the dare is what helps you go deeper and deeper. And I remember we had a consultant who's a friend of mine, Henry. He had said I left him a voice note of all my dreams, and I didn't even notice this until he said it. He's like, I loved it when you said, dream, Stacy, dream. Because I left the voice note and I'm dreaming and I'm saying everything that I want. And then that's how I get myself to go deeper as I'm like, dream, Stacy, dream. And then another layer comes, and then another layer comes. And I still do this. A lot of times when I do my videos, I do that a lot. I edit that out. Most of the time is when I'm saying, okay, think. What do I want to say here? What do I want to say here? Unless it's a live video, they don't go there. But anyway, it's just a way for me to tap in deeper and deeper. And anyone can do this. And you don't need a podcast, you don't need to go live. It's just a practice you could do at any time. We all have a phone that we could press record on. It is the most simple, ridiculous thing that works.

No judging. You're listening to it yourself. Or you could share it. It's easy. No fancy tech. Just record on your voice note. How simple is that? I mean, everyone has one on their phone.

So find your voice. So let's just get here. What do you think? Yeah, what do you think people will get from doing this challenge? This new on demand beta find your voice challenge? What will they get?

Oh, my gosh. It makes me emotional because I see what people, their transformations with just these little teeny fun dairy that are challenging and fun and they really inspire and they're so easy. And to see them start and then to see them at the end, it's night and day. So I get really charged by that and emotional because I see people going through and I don't want to say broken, but some people may be a little broken, a little bit broken and inserted things. And I see them go from this very quickly to participating and doing little teeny, fun things. Dare prompt that. Help them think what's in here and bring it to the surface. So what it's going to do, it's going to develop them into a person. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited because I know I've seen it. So it's going to help them develop into a person that's really going to be able to find their voice. And I'm not talking about just their inner voice, I'm talking about their voice. Their voice that says, I want to do this or I want to do that, or unable to speak their truth or even not speak their truth or even just to internally figure out what they want to do in life. And the best part about it, it's on demand. You can go as quick as you want or as slow as you want and even catch up. If at the end you don't do it all, you can still do it all. We've had people do all the dares because they're like, I'm so behind. There's no rule. Just try. That's all it is.

Yeah, I didn't even think about that from that perspective. Let's say it's someone that was lurking when they first seen the people. Maybe it won't be the first month they start, maybe it will be the second month, and then all of a sudden they'll feel comfortable doing a dare and then kind of the momentum will take them over from there.

Yeah. And even in the live challenges, we see people blitz.

Doing the dares because they were lurking, like you said. But this is going to give them a private vehicle to be in a secluded group with people that are doing the same thing that they're doing and having the support of community. So that's one of the biggest things. First of all, the dares are amazing. It really gets you to push your boundaries and try things that you probably never even thought you would do, but a little baby step. So it's fun and it's not intimidating at all. And then to have the community, you seeing them do that, you're seeing them do it and putting it out there, and then they're encouraging you and it's just such a safe place. It's a safe place for you to go through the things that you need to do to get you to discover who you are or to discover something that may be so deep inside that you didn't even know you had it. So, you know, like you were saying before about surface level and deep level, it brings that out in a fun way, in a really fun community way. I mean, it really is. You're a genius.

And then I think the other outcome is just being able to say what you want when you want it and knowing what you want. So maybe that's first know what you want.

Yeah.

Say what you want when you want, not because someone else wants it from you or you think they expected from you, it's because it's truly something that's coming from inside of you. Because how many of us live in that world of thinking we need to be this certain thing?

For all these hustle culture and tussle culture, it's like we're so laser focused on what I faced before. You know, you got to go to school to get good grades so you can get into a good college, so you can get a good job when you get out, so you can buy nice house. We're programmed to do these laser focused things that are expected of us, but what's really true to us in our heart can be completely different.

I'm so glad we're able to do this. Sometimes when you have those ideas, this is a good example of find your voice. We're talking. I was just. I remembered the boyfriend thing and I was like, oh, damn. We got to make sure people know this because I don't get it realized. For me specifically, it's because I flex the muscle enough and then was able to use it in a lot of different ways. And that's how I'm able to speak the things that I need now. And it's a work in progress, right? But I have the tool now to be able to do it. Just like, let's say you gained 20 pounds and you've lost 20 pounds before, you know how to do it again, right? And so it's like just when you know those tools that you can use anytime you want it.

But you know what? It's something to be said. What you just said about you're not afraid because you did it before. You have to be reminded how you can do it again. There's something to really be said about that because we forget. We forget a lot because we're in the moment. Especially when you come. Like for me, for instance, I was married, I had kids. I'm in a different space now. I forgot who I was, who I was before all that stuff. I'm no longer a white. I'm a mother, but not a mother of young children. But you forget who you are and then you lose your voice because you have to adapt to your situation versus being the truth. You, you are. Because it's just something that happened. Your needs don't come first, your children's needs come first or your husband. It's just a natural progression of what happens. So find your voice on that. For me was good for me to remember who I was or to bring out the person I used to be. But a little More mature, a little smarter.

And you're reminding me of Sally, who went through the find your voice challenge, and we had talked about when she was married, she watched football, and then after she got in love, realized that she was watching football, and she was like, what am I doing? I don't even like football. And that happens, right? We're doing these things because it's natural to us for other people, because we want to be so giving and so loving until we realize, wait, what am I even doing? I don't even like this.

That was so funny. She didn't even like football. She was sitting, watching it, like, wait.

A minute, you wake up, right?

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That's what I love about this challenge. And all our challenges are great. Okay, so let's just put it this way. All our challenges do.

Basically the same thing, but we use a vessel for this. We use a vessel for that. But if you don't start with this challenge, this challenge, like Stacy said, it's the root for you to learn how to do the rest of the challenges and really get the most out of them. I think because you're getting the dare, you're learning to flex the muscle, you're learning the formula, you're learning to speak your truth or speak whatever needs to happen real deep through these little micro dare prompts, as I call them, because they are there. But there are also prompts for you to record, for you to write, for you to at least start thinking about things on a much deeper, deeper level. And I think it's the best way to start. I mean, it really is the best challenge. And until we did the on demand, and we knew we saw a lot of progress, but until we did the on demand, now we know why this is the root challenge.

Yeah. Well, thanks for doing this with me. I really appreciate it.

I hope I was helpful.

So stay tuned. And we will be having this on demand version available soon, and we cannot wait because we just know how much growth you're going to get from this challenge.

An easy peasy 17 days, and your life will be completely different on the other side.

Yeah.

And without hours of time, it's like, I have 10 minutes each day at the most.

That's it.

Okay, guys, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity.

Create it.