YouTube Channel: @dothethingformula

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Oh, my gosh, you guys. We have officially launched the do the Thing Start a Podcast challenge. We had the Facebook Live last night, and 1300 people have joined this challenge. And we had. I don't even know how many people were there, but I know There were over 2000 comments in the first Facebook Live kickoff for it. And it was just unbelievable to see everybody that wants to start a podcast and really get their voice out and be able to make an impact in the things that they're doing. And as I'm planning this challenge, I came up with a really fun dare for people, because this is something that's really impacted me in my life, is going to Toastmasters. And so I'm doing a dare, and it's going to be, I dare you to go to Toastmasters. And the reason why I think this dare is so important, it's not only from the ability to be able to be in a space with other people, to get to speak in front of others, but it's also in the community and the connectedness of the people that you meet in real life that want to do the same thing as you. And also, it's going to be a great way for you to share the things that you're doing about this podcast journey, this that you're on. And if you're not in the podcast challenge or you don't have a podcast, I still suggest you listen to this episode, because the things that we're going to talk about are going to be the things that you could really use in your regular life by being able to expand sometimes outside of your comfort zone and take the rigidity of what something is and really loosen it. And I say that because I wanted to join Toastmasters for 10 years before I joined, but I was too scared because I said I wasn't a good enough speaker. But to join Toastmasters, even though Toastmasters teaches you to speak. So I think this perception of what Toastmasters is is something that isn't even real. It's something in our heads. And so. And I say that because I had that, and so I brought on people that are in one of the Toastmasters clubs that I am involved with. And I absolutely love being able to sit down with people who are in the same space as me that want the same things and being able to have these conversations. And honestly, I would say meeting these people is one of the most fulfilling parts of Toastmasters that I've gotten out of, is the people that I've gotten to meet. And so I am so excited to welcome my fellow Toastmasters to the do the Thing podcast. Hey, you guys.

Hello.

Hey, Stacey.

Okay, I would love to have you guys just share a little bit about who you are and maybe just a glimpse of why you decided to say yes. When I said, hey, I'm giving a dare to the community about them going to their local Toastmasters, and I'd love to hear why you said yes to doing this with me today before I answer that question.

For anyone listening, I'll just say that I think everyone who has heard of Toastmasters has a similar story. They heard about it sounded really cool, it sounded fun, and then they proceeded to forget about it for two, three years. It's something that they want to do, but they haven't made the time for it because it's scary. Public speaking is really scary. And so a little bit about me and my journey to Toastmasters, why I said yes to this and to Toastmasters. I'll start with the podcast. I said yes to this podcast because, Stacy, you are amazing. I think this is our fifth podcast we've done together, and we're doing a sixth on Thursday. I love being in this space with you because you are always doing it before you have the answer. You're doing the thing before it's planned, before you have the blueprint. You're just jumping in. And I think that's what brought me to Toastmasters, is that I was giving a speech for my sister's wedding, and I knew that if I didn't go to Toastmasters, if I didn't get better at speaking, it was gonna suck. And I'll maybe share more of that story later, but I'll leave it there. I said yes to this podcast because of you, Stacey, and because I love you and Francine and Shannon. I've met the coolest people at Toastmasters, and I'm so grateful for all of you.

And I think that's so important for you guys to hear is just there's always something that gets us to do the thing and then all of the things that come out of it. And we'll get more into that during this episode as well, which is exciting. And, Shannon, I'd love to hear from you.

Yeah, absolutely. Hello, everyone. I'm Shannon, and I'm very similar to what Gregory shared. I said yes because of you, Stacy, as well. I just think you have such phenomenal energy, and you're a great space holder and just super open and safe to be around. And I very much Enjoyed the couple of podcast recordings and things that I've done with you for the do the Thing challenges. So it was a very no brainer. Yes, if I can be there and make it work, I'll absolutely be here. And then also, I'm a big fan of Toastmasters because of the benefits it's brought into my life. I've been a member, I think.

Seven months, maybe six. Seven months, something like that. I joined last fall, pretty shortly after I moved to San Diego. And so for me, similar to what Gregory shared, I had heard about Toastmasters. It was on my list last year or the year before. I was working with a coach and it was actually one of our assignments for me to join my Toastmasters in Florida. And I did. I researched all these different Toastmasters I had intended on visiting them and then I never did because I was very quote unquote busy and I didn't prioritize it. And also, similar to what Gregory shared, public speaking is so scary. I remember the first couple times I stood in front of the group and my body was uncontrollably shaking. I was shocked that nobody else noticed because all I could feel is the fact that my hands were shaking, my feet were shaking. I felt like my voice was not my own. And it's really scary to get up in front of people and talk and then talk about yourself and talk about impromptu topics. So there's a lot of intimidation with it. So that kind of, I think, deterred me for a while. And I also just feel like it wasn't quite the right timing and fit for me because then when I got to San Diego, I thought to myself, okay, I moved here all by myself. I don't know many people. And similar to what you said, Stacey, I want to plug into like minded people. I want to meet friends, I want to meet community. I'm also huge in growing myself, so I want to put myself in places where other people are into growing themselves and I can get outside my comfort zone in that way. So I shadowed or guested at this Toastmasters Club and very quickly, almost immediately, which is very unique for me because I don't make an immediate decision. That's not really how I do things. I'm much more of a slow decision maker and I feel into something over time. But I knew when I was sitting there, oh my goodness, I feel so good in this group. I love the energy here. All these people are so diverse and different and I love being in groups where everyone's a little bit different. Not everyone's the Same. And I just loved it and knew, okay, I'm going to join this one. As I was in that club. And then I did, and I came back and I haven't looked back since. And I would say I've met incredible people. I mean, all three of you on this call. Some of my really good friends here in San Diego. I've been able to build community for myself. I've had something consistent to go to every single Wednesday, which is really stabilizing for me because I do so many things on Zoom and online and social media. So to come in person, see the same people, show up for myself, show up for the group. Every week has been phenomenal for me through my ups and downs of moving to new place. And I've just seen myself grow in confidence and being able to ground myself, learning a new skill, feeling so much more comfortable using my voice in front of people. So I've really seen myself grow a lot. And yeah, it's the community, it's the growth. There's so many benefits you can get from a Toastmasters Club. Yeah.

And I love that you said that part of being so nervous, that first speech. And I'm imagining it's gotten easier now that you've gotten up there multiple times.

It has. It really does. I mean, I remember, even last week, though, I remember I. After I stood, I went over and touched Scotty on the back a bunch because I was still shaking because we hadn't. I hadn't gone in a couple of weeks. I thought to myself, whoa, I'm actually a little bit nervous to get up here. But it's less of I'm nervous. It's more just my physical body still reacts to being in front of people, so I notice I still do a little bit of the shaky thing. I think there's an adrenaline rush, too, around some of those impromptu topics, but it has gotten so much better. And I more get excited to go up there now, versus in the past when they called on my name. I'd think, shoot, shoot, shoot. I don't want to go up there. So that's changed.

Yeah, that's awesome. And so, just for the listeners, so Shannon has a podcast and Gregory has a podcast. And we have Francine, who's joining the podcast challenge. And I'm excited because she'll be starting her podcast with you guys in the challenge. And so I'd love to hear from you, Francine.

I said yes to Stacy because Stacy is a master gardener and everything she creates is. Is amazing. So I really wanted to be part of this conversation and to share about Toastmasters and let people know the amazing growth that can happen by you participating. I found out about Toastmasters a few years back and I had moved to San Diego a long time ago and joined a group really shortly and I thought it was really great. But then as things went, I didn't continue. And then my daughter joined the North Coast Toastmasters Group and she really loved it. And she says, mom, you should come and join. It'll be really fun. And that's really how I came to the group. And Gregory, our amazing president, leads the group in such a wonderful way. Shannon is an amazing speaker and it's just always an uplifting thing when you go to a meeting and you hear what people have put together in their speeches. And the other thing that's available is not only do you do talks, but you get to do roles inside of the meeting and even in those roles you get to develop skills and comfort. And there's just this cohesiveness that happens. So I can't recommend it enough to do Toastmasters and not know where it's going to lead you.

And I love that comment of where it's going to lead you because I think that's really what happens is you have no idea what's going to happen. And just even from us all connecting when just this is one piece of by being around people that want the same things. And I think that there's just so much that comes out of just showing up to something and then the doors that open from that. I'd love to see if you guys want to speak to that a little bit also.

I can jump in here just because we talk about this all the time. Stacey, I know we were texting about it the other day, is that the people who show up at Toastmasters are a special type of person. There's a high bar. To get there, you have to actually commit to doing the thing that scares you. For us, we have to show up at 7:30 in the morning in person. We have to put real clothes on. We have to change out of the sweatpants that we're so used to being in. So if you are actually at the meeting in person, the people there are high quality. They're people who like pushing themselves. They want to become a better speaker. And I've noticed that every single person in our club is quirky and weird in the best way possible. It's so much fun getting to learn more about their interests, their passions and when you give speeches. So for everyone listening, the first speech is called your icebreaker. It's just about you and your story. And then you move through something called pathways, where you give different speeches on different topics. But between the prepared speeches and then something called table topics, which Shannon spoke to, where you get called on and you have to stand up and speak impromptu. Between those two things, you learn so much about these people that you're in community with that you normally wouldn't learn for years. Normally it would take years and years to develop the type of relationships that you get to develop in Toastmasters because everyone is open, they're vulnerable, they're nervous, they're getting up there and their hands are shaking. And I'll just speak to that real quick. My hands shake all the time. I've been president for over a year and every time I'm up there, my hands are shaking and I'm like, ah, man, why are my hands shaking? I'm not that nervous anymore. I'm excited. But I think it is this ingrained physiological response in the body. And Shannon, I loved your reframe of just shifting. It's not nervous. I. I'm excited.

And that's what I like too, about even just giving a dare, because that immediately sort of shifts your physiology to that childlike state of wanting to go after something and maybe even being a little bit more courageous than you would normally. It's funny that for the Facebook Live yesterday, I was really nervous and I haven't been nervous for one in a while, cuz I've been doing them a while. But because this is a brand new community, I was nervous and I was like, wow, I really feel alive right now. It was actually a nervousness, but it was also an excitement. Kind of like what you guys are saying. So.

And Shannon, I'd love to hear from you on that as well.

Yeah, absolutely. I would echo everything that Gregory has shared. And I think it's interesting because I was somebody who really, really loved school. And that was because I'm such a relationship person. And I loved going to school and being able to hang out with my friends and talk to them and get to know them. And I just, I loved that and Toastmasters because Francine talked about we have roles every single week and there's a structure to the meeting and there's a flow and you're seeing the same people. I mean, absolutely. Guests come in and people will join. And it's always fun to have new people join and you have the consistent people who are showing up week after week that you're getting to know. So for me it almost brings me back to being in school a little bit around, oh, I get to go here and hang out with all my Toastmasters buddies and see how they're doing and see what they're up to. And because of how it's structured, where you give an icebreaker speech about yourself or whatever you want to share about you and your life, just introducing yourself in your own creative way, then you get the opportunity to give speeches as often as you want. And then the impromptu table topic speeches, we really do get to know one another in a beautiful way. You get to know people's passions, people's quirks, how would they would answer certain questions, what matters to them more about their relationships or their, their background experiences. And because everyone brings something unique to the table, you're constantly learning and being stimulated, which I really like too. It's a really easy meeting to stay present with because things are always happening. You never know what somebody's going to say. You're present with the speeches, you're learning. So I think that part is, is definitely one of my favorite parts as far as the community aspect of things goes. And just like Gregory said too, it takes a special person because it's not very expensive to be in Toastmasters. And it's a very self motivated community of people who are showing up for themselves because they want to get better at speaking for whatever that reason is and they want to do it with other like minded people.

And for you, Francine, I would say.

The level of comfort and, and the connection because this group is so, so supportive when you speak. No matter where you're at, whether you're giving a talk or you're a role, everyone is for you in a way that doesn't really exist outside the room. And there is this level of being in a cocoon and being really safe. You don't have to start off with a big speech at all. It's all at your comfort level. One of the things that's a very common response when a guest comes to a meeting is they are blown away of how the meeting is, how organized it is, who the people are, what, how it runs. And I think most people who come as a guest really get the seed of what Toastmasters can be for them. And one of the things that I would recommend is be a guest at a Toastmasters meeting. Check it out, you will be surprised. And every meeting has a different personality and a different flavor. And it is really a place where you can develop yourself in a way that is not available in other formats.

Yeah, you just Gave me an idea for the dare, maybe reframing it to say, I dare you to register to be a guest at a Toastmasters. Because that maybe feels a little bit less rigid for people that might be scared.

And being a guest is completely free. You can be a guest, I think, as many times as you want. I'm sure eventually people will pressure you to join.

That's right.

There's two things I just want to call out real quickly based on what Shannon and Francine, you guys shared. So one thing is that Francine couldn't be more right in that if you join the right club, everyone is for you and they're supporting you. And one of the scariest roles that I have this next week that I still struggle with is Joke Master. It's where you get up and you tell a joke. And for me, it's really easy to be funny and playful if it's off the cuff. But when I'm getting up and I know that in this next 30 seconds, I'm supposed to make people laugh, it's really nerve wracking. But what's amazing about Toastmasters, and I see this every week with whoever is the joke master, is that people are almost laughing before you even say anything. They're so for you and they want you to succeed so much that they're smiling, they're laughing. It's a really comfortable environment. And then, Shannon, something you shared sparked this in me in that I think we become so close as a community one, because there's this shared suffering of getting up in front of people and you're going through something hard together, and that really bonds people. And then I made a joke about this last week is that with table topics, you're called on. You stand up, you speak off the cuff, impromptu. And because you're nervous and because you don't have anything prepared, I think people tend to share overly personal things. And that's one of my favorite parts, is when someone gets up during table topics and you don't expect them to tell the story that they tell and they share something hilariously revealing about themselves. So that's another great aspect of Toastmasters.

Yeah, that's a really good point because you don't have time to overthink it. So it's just whatever you have in your head is humming out of you more freely. I'd like to talk about kind of what Francine was saying earlier about having that safety cocoon. Right. Because what Toastmasters does is it gives you a safe place to fail. And so right now we're talking to the people that are scared to join. So can we talk about this being just a really safe place to fail?

Yeah, I can kick that one off because that's something that's meant a lot to me in joining because I am somebody who likes to speak about more, I guess, vulnerable, personal, deeper topics. And I quickly learned, I mean, I think it is about finding the right Toastmasters for you, too. So I just want to say that before I dive into answering this guest at as many as you want, because it is free and you can guess multiple times and you can feel into different clubs and then you'll feel when it's the right fit for you. And I think we've all been drawn to this one specifically because we are deeper, more open people and we want that kind of environment. So I think what our club has is very special in that people do open up. They do go deep. They're doing a lot of personal development outside of this club. They have a lot of different experiences that they speak to. And it makes it a very safe space because people will go up there and talk about mental health, challenges they've overcome, or dreams they have, or why they joined Toastmasters. And it's a really meaningful why. So it does kind of create that safety when people are opening up in that way. But then you just, you get people who. They're all there to support you, and there's critiquing that happens. And you get your speeches critiqued and evaluated and you're there to get better. So people are giving you advice and feedback, and it's always from a place of, okay, I know this matters to you, and I know you care and you want to get better. So here's some ways to do so, and here's some amazing things you did. And here's what we really liked about your speech, and here's what we really like about your speaking style. So you get both of those things, which helps it feel more safe. It's not like you're just up there getting critiqued. You're also getting boosted up, which is really beautiful. And then I think, because we're all, like Gregory said, we're all doing something very uncomfortable together. We all know what it's like to be up there and you have a table topics and your brain completely draws a blank and you're standing up there and you're feeling like an idiot because you can't think of what to say. And then you're beating yourself up in your head and you go back to your seat and you're thinking, oh, my goodness, what just happened? I could have answered that in so many different ways. And you go through the dozen different ways that you could have answered that question. And then for the next hour or two of your day, you're beating yourself up as you drive home and thinking you're an idiot. We've all been in those places and then we've all practiced, practice, practice for our first speech to share it in front of people. And we've said things that we wish we didn't say or our body's shaken and we couldn't control it. And so it's like we've all been and experienced it. So it breeds a lot of empathy in the group of, okay, I know what it's like to be up there sharing about myself in front of an audience. I know what it's like to do a good table topics I feel really good about. I know what it's like to nail a speech. I know what it's like to fumble a speech. I know what it's like to do a role. Like Gregory mentioned, the joke master, which I have not even signed up for yet. Who knows if I'll ever sign up for that role. But maybe I dare you. Yeah, I should sign up for joke master. Like, oh my God, I stand up there to say something funny that I've created in my head and who knows if it's actually funny? But yeah, hopefully people laugh. So anyway, we've all done the roles we don't want to do and we've been in it. So we've walked each other's shoes. We're walking each other's shoes. And so that does breed a lot of empathy and safety. And then the last thing that I just want to share because this has happened again and again for me and I really appreciate just outside of the club, as we're preparing our speeches, we can support each other in practicing and getting feedback. So I've buddied up with a few different individuals from our club and it's been really helpful for me to think, okay, I'm about to give or even none of you even saw this speech, but I gave a speech on this romantic desire I have three or four weeks ago. And I was so nervous behind the scenes, about to reveal my heart in front of my Toastmasters Club. And I practiced with some members outside of the club before I gave that speech. And I remember I practiced on a Dylan. So that was talk about in nervous, I'm telling Dylan about my big romantic dream and desire one on one in my living room. But then it was so beautiful because he's like, oh, cool.

Awesome. Yeah.

I really feel you. This is a really Shannon type of speech right here. And you just get that confirmation and safety around. Oh, okay. There isn't judgment here. And I remember even before I gave this speech, I did it in front of Shannon, too. And she was so excited for me, and now she's holding the vision for me. And then I talked to Scottie about it, and in my head, I was thinking, oh, my gosh, everyone's gonna laugh at me, Scotty. They're gonna laugh me off stage. They're gonna think I'm silly and I'm just this romantic and I'm in a wish or in a dream, and I'm not realistic. And oh, my gosh, all my own stories are just coming up, and I'm just in my head around. I just wanna share this thing that's so beautiful for my heart. But I'm so worried that every single Toastmaster person is gonna judge me and. And think I'm just silly and all these awful things. And he goes, shannon, when is the last time you saw anyone get laughed off of our Toastmaster stage? We are all there to support one another. Nobody is going to think anything of you. They're all going to be excited. So it's just nice to get that safety in the tangible relationships, but then in the group as well. And when I gave the speech, it was really well received by everyone, and nobody was lapping me off stage or judging me. And we think it's so much worse in our minds, and we create all these fears and insecurities. But then when you're in the experience, you realize, okay, these are people who have my back and they want to see the best for me, and they're here to support me. And I think there's something to be said about putting yourself into environments where people genuinely are celebrating you, because that's not the case in every single environment, club business opportunity you join. But with Toastmasters, it is that way, and that's really valuable.

Yeah. And I wanted to really kind of bring that out because that is the number one thing that I think I'm really excited about from them joining or at least being a guest at a Toastmasters is being around people that genuinely celebrate you for wanting to go outside of your comfort zone, wanting to do something uncomfortable, something new, something for yourself. And that idea of having people that have your back is just a really beautiful thing.

The my people component.

Yes.

Thank you, Gregory. The M&I'm game for my people, which really do give you the community and the connectedness you need to do the things that you want.

One of the things that is available and it's an intangible, and it's available, at least for me, in every meeting, is inspiration. You are, at some point in the meeting filled with some form of inspiration, whether it's a call to action, whether it's thoughts in your head about what you can speak about, or anything. But inspiration lives inside these meetings.

Yeah. And you're just reminding me to meet yourself where you're at. Right. And I like what you guys said. So you could be a guest and you could not say anything. And so that's a way that you could get started. Another way is for you to. When you do want to take a role or you do a speech, you can read it. So there's no law in Toastmasters that says you can't read your speech. So that could be a good way to start, is you just saying it out loud and you have it in front of you. Or you could just say whatever the heck comes out of your head. There's no Toastmasters Police. It's going to come over. You're going to get constructive coaching. But it's in a loving way. It's not in a oh, you did bad kind of way. It's like, oh, here's what I would suggest. So I just thought I would hear a little bit about that, because I think sometimes we have these rigid thoughts in our heads of what's gonna happen, but they can start wherever they are.

I would love to speak to this. I vividly remember I brought one of my best friends in the whole world, Vinnie. I brought him to Toastmasters, and I think it was his second week. He gave his icebreaker speech. I was giving my third or fourth speech, and he beat me. He won Best speaker for reading his speech. And I was so butthurt. I was like, I can't believe I didn't win. And then I was going through all these things of like, what did I do wrong? What did he do right? And it was just such a good experience. At the end of the day, I was so happy for him that he was up there, that he was sharing his truth and his vulnerable story of who he was. That's one experience. And then there was something else that came up. Shannon, the empathy is such a big part. Francine, the inspiration is such a big part. And, Stacy, it really struck me when you said that you were nervous and you still get Nervous, even though you were CEO of a company, you are such a badass. And yet the fact that you can still get nervous really humanizes you. And for me, I had a couple opportunities in college to speak at some high stakes events. And then I remember being one year into my first corporate job speaking in front of four people, telling them about this work trip I went on and I was sweating. I was. My legs were shaking, my forehead, I literally had sweat coming down my forehead. And then you realize that that's happening and it gets worse because you're like, why am I sweating? So it's not like you become a good speaker once and then you're forever a good speaker. It's the skill that you have to practice over and over again. And if I miss more than one meeting in a row, I get really nervous when I go up there to open the meeting, to close the meeting. And yet it's this skill that you get to keep practicing. And last meeting I was Toastmaster, which is one of the roles, you're facilitating the meeting. And the toastmaster always gets feedback at the end. And I received a little feedback note that said, and I don't know who wrote it because they didn't put their name on it. It said, I wish I could have seen the pre Toastmasters Greg because you've become such a great speaker. And it was this beautiful moment for me because when I became president, I told that to Josh, who was the president before me. I said, josh, I wish I could have seen you before you were president because you're such a good speaker now. And for that to come full circle and for someone to say that to me, it was just this magical moment and it made me really reflect. Cause it doesn't feel like I've gotten that much better at speaking. But when I think about it, I'm excited to speak now. I think that's the biggest change. I look forward to it. It's fun. I can be more fluid and playful. It's not me up there and sweat dripping down my forehead.

Let's talk to the introverts. I speak introvert. I had this in my kickoff because I think a lot of times people think if they're introverted, they can't start a podcast, they can't join a Toastmasters, they can't go to an event. And it's really understanding what types of things you can do. And the reason why I like Toastmasters for introverts is because of the structure. I'm the type of person, if I go to a party and there's no structure to it. I do have a hard time because my introvert is screaming. But when there's a structure around it or there's some kind of icebreaker or there's some kind of format, it really helps me settle down a little bit. So I'd love to talk to the people that just aren't comfortable in situations like this and kind of what they can expect.

I'm an introvert. I feel maybe not, but I think I'm 50, 50. Everyone tells me I'm not an introvert and I say, no, I'm an introvert. I get my energy by being alone. I mean, it depends on the people I'm around. So if it's aligned to me, I mean, Toastmasters, I definitely get energy from the Toastmasters Club, but I spend a lot of time with myself. I really, really value my alone time, my morning routines, my evening routines. And I can definitely feel more introverted. And I also feel like I've had the experience of going into different social environments and feeling very intimidated, nervous. Can you really be your authentic self here? Was I really my authentic self? So I really understand that experience. And I would say, Stacy, that is something I genuinely appreciate about Toastmasters is the structure. I'm a fan of structure. I know some people don't love it. I frickin love the structure. I love the organization. I love seeing people do their different roles. I love seeing it all come together in this cohesive way. I think it's phenomenal. And for people who are professional minded, it's so nice to know it's going to end on time, it's going to be this type of way. I know what to anticipate. So I do find that if you are more introverted or shy, even at first, then this can be a really great place to start to open up in that way. And what I always say, and this is something that I strategically do as well, is if you're shy and introverted, don't put too much pressure on yourself to be an extrovert or to be super social or to be anything you're not. Just show up to the meeting, be compassionate and gentle towards yourself, celebrate the fact that you showed up to something that you were scared and intimidated by and then always read the room and feel into who feels like a safe space, who feels open and go to those people. I always do this for myself. It's being able to read and tune in. Who genuinely feels open, who feels safe, who am I drawn towards, who feels friendly and welcoming and Warm and let me go and gravitate towards those people, because you'll have such a better experience and you'll probably have a nice conversation. You'll feel better about yourself if you just make it a goal to, okay, I'm going to connect with one individual at this meeting or one individual at the end of this meeting, then that's a great goal to aim for. Versus, I think sometimes when you are a little more reserved or introverted or shy, you can put so much pressure on yourself, or you can feel like, oh, my gosh, I have to be this social butterfly or I have to be extroverted, or this person has a big personality and I should be like that and. No, you shouldn't. We all need to be our authentic selves. And what we each bring to the table is so beautiful. And that's what I love about Toastmasters, is it's not a bunch of big extroverts. Everybody has their own unique flavor and style and just authentic nature. So just show up in that way. Be gentle with yourself. See who feels open and friendly. Most people will, because they know you're new to Toastmasters, So they're going to be overly friendly and welcoming. And if they're not, it's not the club for you. But in our club, we definitely will. We'll take you under our wings. We've got lots of people who are like that. And I think, just kind of thinking to yourself, again, let's find one person who feels safe, who feels open, gravitate towards those people, and just be gentle and easeful for yourself. Because any type of social situation that's new can bring up a lot. And we can feel fears of rejection or intimidation or all these different normal human emotions and reactions to social situations.

I think Shannon mentioned two words that really classify our club, which gentle and safe. So this environment in particular in our club, North Coast Toastmasters, gentle and safe. And it is the opposite of junior high experience. When you go into a new group. So highly recommend that what Shannon just said, search it out. Because every club has a different energy, a different personality, and that's what you really want to look for and tune into a place where, as an introvert, you can feel safe.

Yeah, and you just brought up a.

Really important thing, too, Francine, because. And I remembered this from my episode with you and Steve where I had said, a lot of people try counseling, and then when they're having trouble in their marriage, and then they don't realize that they think that the marriage is done because they tried counseling but they haven't even considered coaching. And you guys can listen to her episode for a full recap on the program she is part of, which is couples coaching couples. And I remember thinking how important that was for people to understand, because whether you're seeking help for you and your partner, you're seeking help for you, it's knowing what you could tap into to be able to move through that thing. And it's the same thing with Toastmasters. You could go to one Toastmasters and be a guest and then say, oh, no, Toastmasters isn't for me. But you might just need to go to multiple Toastmasters to find the right one and insert Toastmasters for anything. Insert Toastmasters for counseling, for coaching, for weight loss, for what program you're on, for. And it's like, you don't need to have this rigid perspective of what something is by just one experience. Sometimes you can just find out what is right for you. And I'd just love to hear what's coming alive for you guys after me saying that, because I think that's a really important thing for people to realize. So many people can just shut something out because they tried something once and it didn't work.

That actually happened for me. I went to a Toastmasters Club. I won't say where it was. I don't want to bash them. I went and I showed up and it was weird in a bad way. Not weird in a good way, like us. It was. It's interesting because I also love structure. I love how ours is professional. But from my perspective, the other one was too professional. It felt way too businessy and formal and strange. And I had a bad experience and I almost quit. I almost said Toastmasters isn't for me. But I knew that there was another one close by. And I went to our club, North Coast Toastmasters, and it was such a different experience, as we keep saying, it was warm, it was welcoming, it was safe, it was fun, it was weird in a good way. I can't recommend visiting more than one club more. It's super important. Every club has a different feel. And because you can go as a guest, because it's completely free, it's easy to try a couple and you can find the one that really feels right for you.

Yeah. And something else just came to mind as you were talking. The other thing that I really like about Toastmasters with the table topics is when the question is asked, because you don't know what the question or the theme is going to be. So when the question is asked, it pulls New things out of your head that you don't even know you have access to. And I don't remember the exact thing this was, but there was one time that the question was something about who has passed away in your life that made a big impact on you. And it brought to present something that was really important to me from five years before. And it just re brought this memory back in a beautiful way because then I was able to speak to it to the group. And it's almost like a freeing when you're able to access those things that you've had experience with and being able to bring it to the surface. I would love to hear what your guys's advice to people who are joining the Start a Podcast challenge and they'll be starting podcasts and that are going to be checking out Toastmasters and feel free to kind of open this advice up. Whatever's coming alive for you right now, feel free to have that be your advice in relation to what we're talking about.

Toastmasters has been the best thing for my podcast, and I don't even think we've talked about this yet. A big part of Toastmasters and a really important role is something called the AWE counter. There's a person in every meeting who has this little clicking device. I'm sure it's similar in other clubs where every time you say.

Like so but or you repeat words like and and you get clicked. You hear this audible click from the audience that really cues you in to when you're using these filler words. And it has been the biggest positive impact for my podcast because I have stopped using filler words for the most part, which not only makes editing my podcast in post production a million times easier, but it makes the points I'm sharing more powerful and poignant because I'm not saying but stuttering all the stuff and you know, that still happens. And I just said, you know, which is a filler word. But working on removing your filler words is the biggest benefit from Toastmasters, the biggest benefit for your podcast. And people start noticing in everyday life, they can't quite put their finger on what it is, but they'll say, wow, you're a really good speaker. It's really smooth and concise. The words you share are powerful.

I feel they just go hand in hand so beautifully together. Podcasting and Toastmasters, oh my goodness. Because one, you're building relationships. So if you want to ever do interviews, this is a great group of people to find potential interviews with. Phenomenal. Two, you get those skills of Talking about things, talking about yourself, sharing with an audience. Now, in podcasting, a lot of times it's just you and the mic. If you're doing solo episodes, which I find to be very intimate, and I absolutely love that. And when you're interviewing other people, you have to be able to speak impromptu or have different conversations or similar to the table topics. Maybe somebody says something and then you're able to pull from that skill of speaking in an impromptu fashion and respond in a different way and be present in that way. So I just feel like the skills definitely transfer as far as, yeah, the filler word situation, the relationship and connections, the just getting more reps, speaking. Gregory and I went to this workshop a month or so ago, and something that I really walked away with, that the gentleman shared. It was a public speaking workshop. He shared, you've got to make speaking a habit. And I think so often we think of it as, okay, I'm going to practice this speech and then I'm going to deliver it to Toastmasters and it's going to be great. And then I'm getting evaluated, okay, now I'm not going to do it for a month or so, but that's not a great mindset to have. We want to have the mindset of, okay, if I'm in Toastmasters, if I'm having a podcast, if I have a business, if I want to have good relationships, then making speaking, making talking to people, making socializing conversations, an actual habit of ours transfers so much benefit into those different goals or pursuits. So I think if we think of it that way, of I'm going to make this more of a habit, it's going to transfer into the podcasting. And with the podcasting, I know this is the starting the podcasting and kind of Toastmasters together.

Similar to Toastmasters with a podcast, it just gets easier and easier and easier and easier. You get more comfortable being with a mic, whether you're doing a solo episode yourself or interviewing somebody. Every single time you learn something, every single time you grow, you'll have opportunities where you say something and you wish you didn't say it. You have to edit something out. You sit in front of your mic and you draw a blank. So in Toastmasters, you're getting those, I guess, simulation experiences. So they just work really wonderfully together.

I would say what both Gregory and Shannon just said. Absolutely. And if you are listening to this conversation, then the idea of Toastmasters is kind of floating around you. And as in one of my most favorite books, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, she Talks about ideas, how they come along and they land and they wait to be acknowledged. So if there's any inkling inside of you that's hearing something for yourself, move forward, all you have to do is go be a guest somewhere, check it out because it will enhance. If you're doing podcasts, if you're writing, if you're all of the things in your life, it expands you as a person. So that Toastmaster door, open it up and check it out.

You just brought up something I wanted to speak to also, because what people might be thinking as you're talking is I don't have time, I have to work. I have all these insert whatever that is. And I'm just curious if you guys have seen people that have gotten their work to approve it or they've been able to make the time. Do you have any thoughts on that to help them to be able to go to a meeting?

Yeah, I believe other Shannon Shannon Lederman, she just got a new work opportunity that made it difficult for her to come to meetings. So she had a call with or a conversation with her boss and they figured it out and he was more than willing to accommodate and help her come to the Toastmasters. I've heard situations like my sister for example, who just moved to Austin, Texas, I want her to get into Toastmasters and so she's thinking of talking to her company and seeing if they'll actually even pay for it for her because she's a recruiter and it would really benefit her recruiting skills. So I really feel like there are creative ways to make the meeting happen and a priority and then it really is just about finding the day, the time that fits into your schedule. They're all over the place. We happen to meet Wednesdays at 7:30am, so 7:30 to 9:00am it works really well in normally busy entrepreneurial or business oriented life because you can go typically before work, but you could find ones at noon. I think there might be ones in the afternoon. So I think looking at what the options are, finding one that fits your schedule and then just like anything, we all know this from habit building. Schedule your workouts in your calendar. If you want to be a social person, reach out and set the plans you got to schedule things in. So for me, Toastmasters is just scheduled in for the foreseeable future. There's no me not going unless I'm horribly sick for whatever reason or I'm out of town. So I think if you just schedule it in and you know this is a priority of mine, I'm just showing up to this. I've made that decision. It really helps. But it also helps to just find a time that will most likely work for your schedule.

There are evening Toastmasters too. I know many clubs meet at night and one thing I want to say here is that it's so important to commit to do it every week, even when you don't want to. For me, I love Toastmasters. I've been a part of it for a year and a half now, and yet every Wednesday I don't want to go. It's early. I don't like putting things in my morning. Every Wednesday morning, the surf is always the best. The swell is always hitting during that window of Toastmasters and it kills me. But every single time I don't want to go. And yet when I leave, I am so grateful. I have the same experience every Single Wednesday at 9:05 When I'm driving away, I just have this big feeling of joy. I'm so happy that I did the thing I said I wanted to do and that I got to be around these amazing people. And I always feel so much more inspired and filled up with energy and happiness and accomplishment than if I wouldn't have gone.

I'd love to have you guys share where people can find out about you.

You can find me. I'm Shannon Keating and you can find me@shannon keating.com that's the best place to find me. Instagram is Shannon Keating. But if you search my name you should be able to find me. My podcast name is unmasked and open hearted.

You can find me. This is Gregory. You can find me at gregoryrussellbenedict.com to learn more about coaching. I am a professional coach who helps people achieve their biggest dreams. I have a podcast called the Dare to Dream Podcast. As you can see, I'm big on dreams and if you want to learn more about Toastmasters, you can reach out to me directly. I'm currently the President. You can text me, you can call me. My number is 541-678-3855. We would love to have you come to one of our Wednesday morning meetings at 7:30am in Cardiff, California. Encinitas.

Excellent. You can reach me through my website, intervalsofgracemail.com and my upcoming podcast will be called the Inspiration Project.

Do you want to share what it's going to be about?

It is going to be exploring inspiration in all of its facets. How do we make it happen? Can we make it happen? And all of the ways that people have been inspired in their lives.

Thank you so much, you guys, for doing this with me. This was really exceptional, and I just appreciate you doing the thing with me.

Thank you, Stacy. I always love spending time with you.

Thank you, Stacy. And thanks, everyone, for listening.

And we dare you to be a guest at a Toastmasters event.

And the other thing is, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity, create it.