Break the Fixer Reflex and Stop Being the Bottleneck - Live Q&A

Awesome. Well, welcome. My name's Steve Lowisz. Thank you for joining. If you're joining here live, again, my name's Steve Lowisz. I'm the founder and CEO of the Lowisz Leadership Institute. We develop leaders, but we primarily focus on changing the behaviors of leaders, which actually brings us to the subject that we're gonna talk about today. Now, if you're joining us live, make sure you type in the chat who you are, and then I'm gonna pose a question for a second. And then I want this in the chat as well. If you're, if you're willing to put this in there as a leader, what's that one area that you continually feel you have to fix for your team? So put in your name and put in that one area of what— where you think you continually have to fix for your team. And this ties in to a certain behavior that we're going to address today in this conversation because it comes up all the time. And this session is called Breaking the Fixer Reflex. Now, let me explain where this comes from and what the fixer reflex is. And I'm not going to talk at you. I'm going to talk with you. And the reason for that is I have the fixer reflex and so many leaders have it. So what is it? Well, the fixer reflex, think about it this way. You're in a situation where the work isn't getting done fast enough, and instead of taking the time to teach that person, to guide that person, to coach that person, you think it's just Faster if I do it, and you jump in and you get it handled and off you go. That's an example of the fixer reflex. Now, what's the problem with the fixer reflex? Well, there's always a time for us where we need to help our teams achieve whatever they need to achieve, and fixing it once maybe is okay. It all depends on the actual circumstance. But as we continue to jump in and fix it time and time and time again, let's think about the impact that it actually has, right? We start, we, we go from helping our team to actually creating dependence. Now, our intent, or at least my intent, when I jump in to do that, it's the right intent. I wanna fix it for the team. I want to make it easier for the team. I want to take care of the customer, whatever the case is. And as leaders, we rationalize the hell out of this thing, right? It's the right thing to do. But is it really? And that's where we're going to spend the next couple of minutes. Again, if you're watching us live, if you want to use the chat, put in questions, make comments, please go ahead and do that. But let's go back to the key area, this, the subject of the fixer reflex. And it manifests itself in a whole lot of different ways, right? We're stepping in and we're taking the opportunity from our team to actually learn what's going on. Let me give you an example real quickly. If you've ever seen me speak, I've used this example, but I think it's relevant to this issue. And I'm going to use somebody else and then I'm going to use myself. In terms of somebody else, I got a call from an old friend of mine that I went to high school with quite some time ago. And he said, hey, Steve, I've been watching the stuff that you put out online, especially about leadership. And I think, I think I have a problem. And the problem is, is that I have a wonderful team. They're extremely loyal team, but they don't make decisions for themselves. Would you come out and help me figure out what's actually going on? Now, it was really just a reason for me to fly out. He's a CEO of a bank west of the Mississippi to fly out and spend some time with him. So I did that. And we had dinner the night before. Monday morning, I get to his bank and banks open usually about 9 o'clock. I got there about 8:15, 8:30, and he, this guy and I chatted for a couple of minutes and then I just sat back in his office. And about 9:01, one person comes in, sits down. She and him have this conversation. She leaves. A few minutes later, the next person comes in. They talk about a problem. He, she leaves. And it, this goes on almost for the entire 8-hour day. And at the end of the day, the, the, the CEO comes up to me. He said, Steve, did you see what was going on? Is there, what's happening? Why can't my team make decisions? And his name is Rob. And I said to Rob, I said for a second, because you have the fixer reflex. And he kind of looked at me like, what are you talking about? And Rob had the best of intentions. Rob wanted to help each of his team members fix the problem. That they brought to him. And he did that and they went off and they executed on the solution. But think about what we're creating when we do that. That team was way more capable than Rob was giving them credit for, but Rob was the one that was solving the problem for them. And over time, because he's been the CEO there now for 10+ years, we begin to create a habit in those individuals where we're solving the problem for them. And eventually it creates dependence. And then on the backside of that, where we go as CEOs and as leaders in an organization is, man, they just don't own anything. I've got to figure out a way to make sure I hold that person accountable. But it's that fixer reflex. Right intention, but ends up being the wrong result that we really need to focus on. Now, as I mentioned, I have this problem, right? And I know better, but I have this problem where sometimes I just think it's easier if I do it myself. Now the question is, why do I think that way? Why do other leaders potentially think that way, right? Control, to a certain extent, is comfort, right? We, we want to make sure that it gets done and it gets done correctly. But at the same time, what message are we sending to our team members? We think, hey, I'm just going to fix it and get it done and we can move on. They think, you don't trust me, and that's why you you're jumping in to actually do this. We think it's efficient if we just, I make the decision, if I get it done, the client is happy, the team member's going to be happy as a result of that. And that team member thinks, again, you don't trust me enough to actually let me do this. And when we repeat that enough times, it creates the dependency. It creates the lack of wanting to get in the way, so to speak, because they know we're going to fix this. You know, I've done this for years and years and years where it's just easier for me to jump in and to get it done. But it comes down to what I would consider the identity that we put on ourselves as leaders. If we truly believe that nobody else can do it, We'll constantly fix, we'll constantly not let that person learn how to do it. And then on the back end of that, we get ticked off because they haven't actually done it. Yesterday I was actually leading a, a, a leadership development session, a behavioral change session for a group of leaders where we talked about this exact thing. What's interesting is about 60% of us as leaders have the natural reflex to be a fixer. And when we get into the reason why, it's a little bit different for everybody, right? Again, for some it's efficiency, for some it's how they're viewed by their boss if the thing doesn't get fixed right away. So instead of teaching and coaching the person to actually do it the right way, we do it ourselves. Now, I've already mentioned this a couple of times, but how we take care— how we address this is a key. Let me go back for a second. Actually, I'm going to— I'm going to give you something that I think is going to be incredibly important. If you're watching this either live or recorded, what are you? Do you have the fixer reflex? Is your natural tendency to actually do this? And if you're curious about yourself, if you're not sure, I'm going to give you something for free. Go to app. Loewisleadership.com. It'll be pop up on your screen as well. Go to that link. This is completely free. Up at the top, there's a little button for assessments, and the first assessment is what's called the guide type assessment. It's 25 questions. It's absolutely free. You don't need to put a credit card or anything in there. But answer the 25 questions yourself honestly. Don't answer what you think somebody else would see, because nobody's going to see it. It's 100% confidential except for you. And when you're done with those 25 questions, the system will immediately send you a report. It'll also come up on your screen. Are you a natural fixer? Are you a natural driver? Are you a natural guider? Or are you a natural supporter? There's kind of 4 categories of leader. We have all 4. All of us have all 4 components, but it's a matter of which one is actually our driver. And that'll give you a baseline of where do you sit? Are you more of a fixer or not? And if even if you're a driver, sometimes fixer comes second. My natural tendency is to be a driver where fixer comes second. Second, but fixer plays a big role as I mentioned it. But here's the question. What do we do if we're creating dependence? If we are driving, if, if it seems like by others we're controlling by trying to fix, what do we do to adjust for that fixer reflex that so many of us as leaders have? And I think. I think actually all of us as leaders have, it's just how bit, how important and how big of a deal it is and actually causing us to do that. What do we do and why again, are we not doing it? Well, again, efficiency-wise, it's sometimes faster identity-wise. I don't wanna be viewed by my leaders negatively if that thing doesn't get done. So I'm actually going to do it. First thing you have to do is identify what's driving the fixer mentality. In you? And it's only a question that you can really answer, but there's something that's causing you to actually do that. So that's step number 1. But step number 2, we've got to think about where accountability needs to be placed and what accountability is. Natural fixers, you and me, what we have a tendency to do is use accountability as our excuse, right? Where I'm not going to get— I'm not— it won't be done the way I want it to be done. We already talked about that. But from a— how we think about accountability actually makes a huge difference. So we think about accountability as after the fact. Well, because I can't hold them accountable, I'm just going to do it myself. We got to think about it in terms of what accountability is, and it's two pieces. It's clarity and it's holding to standards that creates the accountability. So for us to get out of the mindset of being a fixer, we've gotta make sure that we think about it in terms of clarity of expectation for our team and holding them to the standard of achieving that actual thing. So part of how we incorporate that is what I would, what we would consider in leadership Coaching, right? How do we coach our teams? Yes, I know the answer cuz I'm the fixer, but how do we coach our teams to start solving for the problems themselves? Well, the first thing we've gotta do is set the expectation. Again, clarity of what's expected in their role, clarity of taking care of that solution, and then the standard in which we're gonna hold against them. When we do that, when we do that, Consistently, we create a certain amount of accountability. Now, when a, a team member comes to you with the problem, how do we coach them through the problem? It's not giving them the answer of what to do that my example of Rob, that he was doing, and my natural tendency is to give the answer because I think I know the answer. If you're a leader, you think you know the answer. But what we need to do is actually teach our teams how to come up with the answer themselves. We need to be asking them questions to determine how to solve that problem. Hey, what have you done thus far? What was the result with that? What's the next step we should take? We've got to take a few seconds to spend the time. Now, some of you are going to say, I don't have the time. I've got too much crap on my plate. I have just got to move forward. That's very shortsighted because again, we get the problem solved, but we're not teaching our team to solve the subsequent problems. So we've gotta teach them to think through that actual process. It's coaching. It's actually guiding them through it, which is hard for us as actual fixers. Uh, couple of notes, comments on there. So the question is, any advice for shifting a culture that quietly rewards heroes and firefighting instead of coaching? So let me say that again. Any advice for shifting a culture that quietly rewards heroes and firefighting instead of coaching? Let's think about that. Lot of leaders get promoted into the role of leadership because they're really good at solving problems, at firefighting, at responding to that. But unfortunately, that is so shortsighted. We want leaders who create teams that are able to do that. Now, how do you do that? If the culture's already set that the firefighters get promoted, what do we do with inside the organization? First of all, it takes time because we've gotta retrain habits and we've gotta retrain behaviors within that organization. But we need to start asking the question, do we want leaders that do all the work? Or do we want leaders that create teams that can separate that work out and over time actually get it done faster? If the leaders want firefighters, then we've got an actual leadership problem that we've gotta start at the top. And work our way down. But we've gotta start asking the question if we're going to start transforming that. Cuz look, in, in my own organizations, I have rewarded firefighters that are reactive to scenarios, and I created that in my own organizations. What we've gotta do is reward those that are more proactive, that get their team to the point where they can see the problem and solve the problem before it becomes a really big issue. And that doesn't happen overnight, especially when we've been rewarding firefighters. David, pull up that second. Also wondering how much failure is acceptable when someone is learning and trying not to step in too fast. So part of coaching. Is actually teaching your team, as I've said, to solve for the problem, asking questions to get there. Part of that coaching is also letting them fail. Now, let me speak to you honestly. As a, as a CEO of, of businesses, I've gotta meet payroll, I've gotta make sure we're hitting revenue and so forth. And some of those mistakes can cost money. So we're always balancing the failure with what we've gotta get done. And that's often my driver of jumping in to fix the problem. But in order to change that culture, what we've gotta be smart about is where we allow people to fail, where it's not gonna cause the business or the department to completely go under. Of course, that's just silly to teach from that type of example. But creating circumstances where, you know, there's a right and maybe a less right answer. And the less right answer doesn't completely crash the organization so that a couple of things happen. We wanna teach the term called recovery. This thing didn't work. I'm gonna take a step back, recover from it, and I'm gonna do this other thing in order to achieve it. But we also have to be really smart about the impact that it has on the organization. And as Leaders bringing up other leaders, we've gotta be specific in those opportunities where if they get it wrong, isn't gonna impact the entire business. That means we've gotta think ahead in order to create those scenarios where if they do get it wrong, they can learn from it, but they also create the confidence in actually making some of those decisions. So look, This isn't— this is not an easy task. We, we absolutely know that. It's— we gotta balance these and we can't let our businesses or our departments fail. A couple of other questions. Um, what would be considered hovering? Essentially, what's a healthy checkpoint cadence? I don't want to be completely hands-off, but we don't want to hover. That's actually a good leadership question. How much How much is too much hovering? How much is too much following up? It ties into this, this fixer reflex, so to speak, right? So when you sit down with somebody to determine what's the, what's the objective, being clear on those things and the standard that they actually have to hit at that point, the checkpoint should actually be decided on. Hey, look, I'll, I'll check in with you. How about if I check in with you at the end of the week to make sure that we're making progress in the right area. Is that fair? Now, if I check in with them every day leading up to that end of the week check-in when it's supposed to be, that's now hovering and we're still being the fixer. But if we check in at the end of the week like we agreed during that discussion, setting the, the objective, then we're less of a fixer. It's the same thing in the heat of the moment. We decide on, here's the problem, that, that employee or that team member makes a decision of what they're going to do. Let them go do it. And if you sit there and follow up, hey, did you do it? Did you do it? Did you do it? Did you do it? That's the reflex. That's the fixer reflex that's coming out again. And it does more damage long-term than it does good. Trust me on that because I've done it. I speak from experience on this. The right intent to fix the issue with the client, to fix the issue with the team member, the wrong execution of that. We have gotta stop. But I also know, and if you're wired anything like me, right intent means you're trying to protect the company, the department, rest of the team, and so on. But the wrong execution where people can't think for themselves. So let, let's just, let's go back and make sure that we, we go through a couple of these things, right? The, the hidden cost of being a fixer is that we absolutely create dependence. And when we create dependence, the team steps back. The team steps back. We come in trying to fix it with accountability and consequences after the fact. We absolutely don't wanna do that. If you're making decisions as a leader, for some of the most simplest things in your organization, you're probably a natural fixer. If you're worried about a, somebody who's buying a 20, 20-cent pencil because it has to go through you, you have now become the bottleneck in your organization. And most of us as fixers who naturally are predisposed that way become the biggest bottlenecks in our own organization. 'cause we feel we have to continue fixing. And if we wait to apply accountability to that after the fact, it ends up becoming way too late. Because when we think, if I fix it, the problem goes away, you've got a, a misunderstanding. I've got a misunderstanding of the importance of what a fixer or the problems that a fixer ultimately creates. Now, how do we— what's the moves we need to make? Let me go back to that really quick. Number 1, we've gotta be very clear on the outcome. This is what I need. This is what we need to have done by X. That is clarity. Number 2, we've gotta ask the question. If we ask the question, are you clear? You'll get a lot of different responses, but the most common one is yes. It's the wrong question. The right question to determine if somebody's clear is, what's the next steps that you're going to take? That'll determine if they're going down the right path, but they've made the decision, so they own it. And you're not creating dependence, you're creating independence, because ownership starts with the ability to think. The third piece as leaders we don't wanna stand over and hover. We wanna stand next to them and guide them. Don't do the work for them. We absolutely don't wanna do that. We wanna ask the questions and guide them through the process without hovering, without checking in every couple of minutes to make sure that the standards don't drop, but we're not waiting too far along and we're not hovering on top of that. This is what winning looks like. So what's my point in all this? As I've rambled on and answered a couple of questions on some of this, the, the point is not to stop caring for our team. The point is to think about what caring actually means. Caring is not creating dependence on our team. Creating is not solving all the problems for our team and creating sure as hell is not removing all of the roadblocks for our team. We think that way too much. Too many leaders, and we, we use the term servant leadership for that. That's really the fixer reflex that is coming into play. Our job as leaders, think about this, it's not to solve the problems, it's to teach them how to solve the problems. Our job as leaders is to make them independent. If your team is dependent on you, You're the roadblock, you're the bottleneck, and you're the one— I'm the one that's creating dependence. The fixer reflex is, is something we have got to get under control because of the impact. The first thing is being aware. Where are you on that fixer reflex scale? Think about it on a 1 to 10. If you're somewhere 6 and above, You're creating bottlenecks within your own organization, and we've gotta address it. You've gotta first be aware about it. You've gotta understand the long-term consequences of it. Short-term, it might sound really great. Long-term, it sucks. Trust me, I've been through that. And then third, we've gotta understand how to coach our teams, set the expectations, guide them to get there. Do it through questions. Not by fixing it for them. And be strategic on which ones you allow them to make the decision, even if it's not the decision you would make. And if there's a little bit of a fail, teach them about recovery. That creates the independence and the accountability that we need to make as leaders. Again, you want to know where you're at. I would encourage you to do this. Go to app.loisleadership.com. Click on assessments at the top. Go to the guide type. It's the only free assessment, but you want to take that. You'll get an instant result. Where are you in those 4 leadership types? Where does this idea of being a fixer resonate for you? The reason this is such a big deal— one, it's personal to me because that's my natural tendency, as I've said. But I see so many leaders that say, I can't get my team to be accountable. I have to be the one to jump in and fix it. Here's the thing. It says more about you as a leader than it says about your team, because your behaviors determine the system that creates the culture. And fixers, we create cultures of dependence. Now, if you wanna learn more about about what you can do about it. Make sure that when you go to the Loewes Leadership website, create an account there so that you get some of the free material that we put out there, just so that you actually have it. The focus though is not on just knowing how to fix yourself. The focus on the behaviors to implement, to actually start to make the shift, be less of a fixer and more of a guider. Your team will appreciate it. Your results from your team will show it. Thanks for joining me live. We went a little bit over where I thought we were going to actually be. But look, if you've got, if you've got a question about some of this stuff around leadership, I'll be sharing a hell of a lot more in this format in the future. Join us. Send it. Send me an email, steve@lowiszleadership.com, info@lowiszleadership.com, whichever one. Connect with me on social media. If you want to come on and talk about some of this, make sure you join us on the next YouTube Live. But until then, thank you for joining us, and we'll see you the next time we go live.