Guiding vs Driving: What Great Leaders Actually Do

You know, if you feel like you're constantly pushing a boulder up a hill, trying to force your team to perform, and the moment you stop pushing, the work stops, you're probably not leading. You're probably driving. And driving people eventually drives them away. You know, most people use the words management and leadership interchangeably, but the two couldn't be further from each other in a more practical sense. Management, we know, it's all about systems and processes, inefficiency, things that are really important. But true leadership is about people and influence and their growth. So what I want to do is talk to you about one mindset shift you need to make to stop stop driving and start guiding. You know, Peter Drucker famously said, "Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things." But let's take that idea a step further with a concept I go into with every leader that I coach or spend time with. It's not about what you get from your people. It's what you want to get for your people. And that's a big difference. This drive mentality in traditional management focuses solely on extracting results from people. In fact, it treats your team like a fleet of rental cars. You drive them constantly to get to the destination, but if the engine blows up, what do you do? You just get a new one. Eventually, this leads to burnout, turnover, and something called the rescuer trap, where you as the leader have to step in and fix everything yourself because you haven't built the capacity in your team. The guide mentality is different. It's about true leadership, focusing on working for your people. You see, when you're guiding, you're acting as more of the GPS. You give them the guidance to find the best path to where they eventually need to go. But here's the truth. They're the ones in control. You're investing in them so that they can get the best result without you. So here's the question. How do you make this switch in the real world? Well, it comes down to 3 specific shifts that you can start to make today. Number 1, this is clear, stop giving answers and start asking questions. Don't just immediately jump on a problem and say, "Here, let me fix it." When you're guiding, you're not telling, you're asking questions. Things like, "Hey, what's working in this situation?" What's not working in this situation? And then guiding the other person to answer that question themselves. In fact, I've curated my own personal list called the Baker's Dozen for this exact purpose of guiding and not driving people. But there's number 2, stop demanding compliance and start inspiring Commitment. Look, we all know compliance is doing what you're told to because you have to, because you might be afraid to. Commitment, on the other hand, is doing what's needed because you want to, you choose to. You know, we get compliance by using authority, but we get commitment by using influence by connecting their daily tasks to a bigger vision that they see themselves actually being a part of and wanting to be a part of. But there's a third shift we need to make. We need to stop being nice and start being kind. You know, we talk about this a lot. Being nice, it sounds great, but it's often just avoiding conflict to keep the peace, and it eventually lowers the bar for the rest of the team. Being kind, on the other hand, is having the courage to give and take candid feedback that your team, and probably you, need to grow. Look, here's the reality. Driving people is exhausting for you and for them. Guiding people, on the other hand, is empowering. If you want to build a team that follows you because they want to, not because they have to, it's time to make these shifts.