[2023.8.4] Studio B: Navigating Destructive Thought Patterns

I'm disciplined out of my dysfunction. And what I mean by that is I know how quickly I can slide into certain destructive thought patterns. And so I've had to put a lot of discipline in my life as a counterbalance to the way that I drift. You know, I almost have to like, put a lot of loaded weight on my life in terms of structure or I'll just slide all over the place.

Yeah.

Whether that's mentally or whether that's, you know, a lot of times I can get into a spiral of self doubt or this is another thing that happens to me. I just get overwhelmed.

Yeah.

And if I don't have some things to anchor me to know, hey, these are the spots where I'm going to be able to meet with God, or these are the spots where I'm going to be able to get in a good flow, it's not going to happen.

I admire that so much about you as I watch you, because I feel like, I mean, we all struggle with discipline. Right. To whatever degree it is. Discipline, it's not a fun word. I mean, it has a connotation of work. Right. Of, you know, it's not like party. It's discipline. And I admire so much the disciplines that you have, because I think we all drift into whatever they are, whether it's negative behaviors or negative thought patterns or even just like patterns of. For me, it's almost like numbness when I drift. It's like I feel less. I don't feel as close to God. I don't feel as aware of God. I don't feel as grateful. I don't feel like God speaking to me. It feels very. It feels. I think for some people, they would say they feel negative. I think for myself, I feel. I just. I start to feel numb. And I love watching you and your, your disciplines. I admire it so much. Can you like.

Well, I mean, I have a lot of little things that are quirky too, that may not be as spiritual. But you have a little clock that I set when I start my workouts in the morning, and it counts down so I can keep everything on track. I don't have somebody there pushing me. I mean, I work out with Elijah a lot of days, and so he's the one trying to stall. You know, hey, dad, tell me a Bible verse. Anything but having to do this next set of squats. So the clock is our boss. Right. Like, it's time, you know, hit the time. Let's go.

You've also never asked me to be your workout.

And when it Finishes, I'm skipping that. And then when it finishes, you know, the workout and I do all the things, I put my workout on the board. We have a room there in the house where I work out, and I go through all my little things. I have a star chart. I've shared some of this things that I don't feel bad about, but they're just maybe a little bit. A little bit boring. And when I'm doing all my stuff, I reset the clock and I put it back on the time of the workout for the next day, you know, whatever the time limit is. And I reset it and I tap it. I say, see you tomorrow. And it's just a way of like, I'm gonna be back here, right? We're gonna do this again. And it's little signals that I send that I'm gonna be back again. Yeah, I might have had a great workout today. I might not have had the best workout today. Might be back here tomorrow. I try to do that in as many areas of my life as I can. So if that's these notes that I write for my sermon or something like.

That, here's the rest.

I'll start the folder once I get the idea of what I'm going to preach, and I'll put the date on there. Like, that's this sermon and I'll put the date on there. Even before I know the title, that's the first thing I put is just, I'm preaching on 7:30, 23. I don't know if it's going to be this message yet, but I put it on there and go, I'll see you on Sunday. This is going to be full, you know, little things like that that just speak to the idea that it doesn't come all at once. And that's been a practice for me that I've had to build because I have a temptation to think of things as one and done now or never. If I don't kill it right now, you know, oh, man, this opportunity, I blew it. Whether that's I went in to create something and wow, we didn't get anything. Kind of like the disciples fishing all night and catching nothing. Or whether it's. I saw that going one way and it totally didn't go there, or these are the three things I want to accomplish. We got over here and didn't even talk about those three things. But, you know, relationships come back around and they can get richer with time. And sometimes there's plowing and sometimes there's. There's sowing and Sometimes there's watering, and sometimes there's sunlight, and there's. There's all parts of this process. Right. So sending as many signals to myself as I can that this is something that we're building over time. We're not trying to build it all in one day.

Right.

We're not trying to have the entire revelation of God unpacked in 50 minutes on a Sunday. Will be back. And so as many things in my life as I can kind of go. See you next week. I'll be back here. Whether that's a therapeutic process or a coaching process or a rhythm that you put in, I just love that little ritual. It's one of the newest ones. I have so many of them that it would be nauseating to go through all of them. You would go, this guy is the most psychotic guy if you heard all of them. But that's one that I really like, because it's just my little way of.

Saying, I think I actually, when I hear you say stuff like that, I think you're brilliant.

Thank you. And I probably should rewire it that way to go. Not that I think there's a fine.

Line between psychotic and brilliant, though.

Right. But even if you think that, I would like to be able to say that anything that seems like, oh, that's very disciplined or that's smart, or that's cool, it all came out of me getting beat over and over again by kind of feeling like, I got to get it all done right now. No, no, no. I'll be back again. I got to get it all said right now. I've got to get all this done in my 20s. You know, I started the church, and we started the church in our 20s. Yeah. And there is a feeling that you get in that season that, I've got to build this right now. I mean, I've pretty much felt like I was behind running to catch up my whole life since I can remember. I don't know where that comes from, but I know what tends to solve it is as I get an idea of how much God loves consistency, and God honors consistency. And the way he designs our life is sometimes to bring us into things little by little so that we can manage it as we go. It helps me a lot. And it's not something that comes to me naturally. So that's where the disciplines come from of doing something again and again. And that's where any patience that I'm developing comes from, to go. We'll be back at it tomorrow. This is not the only time we're going to get to do this. I'm going to make a lot of deposits in this area. I'm going to make a lot of deposits with my children. So, man, that dinner did not go great. I'll be back at it tomorrow and I'm going to adjust. And being able to coach myself after the fact and let the Holy Spirit coach me has been a game changer because it replaces that voice of condemnation that says, you know what, you screwed that up. You're not getting another chance. Don't bring it up again.

So how do you know the difference between the Holy Spirit and the Spirit of condemnation?

They're, they're, they're, they're not even comparable. One is saying, we're going to work on that. You're going to get another chance. One is going to say, you blew it. And it's actually a deep fundamental issue with you that you couldn't fix even if you got the opportunity back. The condemnation says, that's it, it's over, you missed it, there's not another one coming. It's like, remember when me and Jody flew out to Memphis to preach and he forgot his driver's license so I had to fly by myself. But what he didn't know was it was my first time ever flying and I was in college. When I got to Memphis, I was counting on him to show me how to get through the airport and everything. And the guy that picked us up to go preach was waiting there. And I'm an 18 year old kid and I should know this and it's an embarrassing story, but I was a rookie at flying so I didn't do a carry on. I checked my bag and I told the guys picked me up, I said, I gotta go get my bag. So we go to baggage claim and it's coming around the belt and I'm like all panicked. He's like, what's wrong? Calm down. I said, I just don't want to miss it when it comes by. And he goes, if it goes by and you miss it, you see it's going to come back around.

Yeah.

And that could be a metaphor for me for so much of my life is like, I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss a chance. I don't want to miss this opportunity. I don't want to mess it up. And God is going to. Well, you can get it the first time and that would be the easiest and we can get out of the airport, but it will come back around.

Yeah.

And I need that picture. Of God in my life saying, it'll come back around. The devil. The devil is more like tsa, you know, like, just trying to make a fool out of you, trying to find any reason not to let you through. And God's the one standing there going.

Oh, you don't have your shoes on. Oh, you got liquids in your bag.

All of it. You know, But God is much more patient. And I don't think I have said this as clearly as I'd like to yet. God's patience is what gives me power.

Wow.

For persistence. So follow me. If God is not patient, I don't try again because I can't find the grace to make myself believe that I should or that it's going to be any different this time. Yeah, I'm not going to pray again. I'm not going to join one of those groups again.

I'm not going to believe again.

I'm not going to love, trust people again. Plug in whatever you want, right? If God is patient and if he's going to bring it back around again, then I can stay there and go, okay, so let me get prepared. My favorite line from the sermon that I may pick up a little this week was that it's not the one that got away. It's the one that got you ready. And those are two different ways of looking at it. The enemy says, you know, it's the one that got away.

Yeah, you screwed it up, and you're.

The one that got away.

Yeah.

And, you know, God is. God is. God is not waiting for you to get this right again. He's not going to give you another chance. All right, so it's night and day as a shift to know that God is going to be standing there making a way for me to get back in, making a way for me to learn and apply what I've learned. If I can see a way forward, it's the voice of God. If I can see a way forward. But if I can only stay stuck in that one frame of my failure or a fault in my life, that is not the voice of God. Because God is always going to give me a way forward. Even if the way forward is repent. Even if the way forward is very hard. Even if the way forward is to humble myself. Even if the way forward is to admit I was wrong. But there will always be a way forward if it's God.

Everybody, thank you so much for watching Elevation Plus. We consider you part of our eim, which is our online family.

That's right. So make sure you are liking, subscribing, sharing, Elevation plus and come back here as you can. Find out more about great stories, great creative elements and also join us every week for Coffee Fam. That's right.