24hourblackbelt mp4

Hi, Steve Barnes here with Life Writing Live once again. If you are enjoying these talks, make sure to share. That's how we know what's going on. This is all about the power of story in your life. Whether you're a storyteller or parent or teacher or, you know, my people, the writers, the artists, the ones I care about the most because that's the path that I've spent, spent the most time on. I thought that I would spend a little bit of time, I don't know, maybe a couple days talking about some things that are extracted from the martial arts that have to do with writing and art. And I wanted to do today what I did today, this morning came to my mind. So what I usually do is I will write an essay first thing in the morning just sort of to kind of skim off what's ever at the top of my head. And this morning, a lot of what came out had to do with, with some very specific lessons that are extracted from the arts. And I called it the 24 hour black belt. Now, there were. I kind of liked that because there were two things that, that suggested to me. One is that whatever it is that you are, you should be all the time, 24 hours a day. And the other is, what is it that a person can learn within 24 hours? What is it? Is it possible to skim off the cream, go to the heart of the matter in a very, very short time? And I believe that it is not the physical techniques, but the emotional attitudes don't take place over time. You can study martial arts for a lifetime and never get those attitudes. Some people are born with it. Some people go through a certain amount of trauma and get it. There are archetypes extremely healthy for the survival of the tribe, that a person is just born there. And other times someone can be beaten or hurt or pushed to the point that they kind of break open. So the martial arts in a lot of ways, well, you know, a real fight is two cats in a sack. It's very rare. It's very rare that a person has the comparative skill level to be able to take somebody apart surgically. That is kind of an amazing thing. It's even more amazing when someone can be merciful to someone who's attacking them. So that path of personal evolution to have enough skill that you can be merciful, that you can move beyond the sort of two cats in a sack, let alone moving on from being paralyzed by fear is the. Is the path that the arts are on for most people. And there are some really specific lessons. So I thought I'd kind of tap into that. And so I'll be sort of reading and remembering what that essay was as I go. I hope that you will allow me to do that. Okay. One of the last things that I heard from another human being that I considered to be a light bulb going off in my head was about three years ago when I heard that the Dalai Lama said that the purpose of life is to be happy. I like that. I like that a lot. And I'll come back to it. Purpose of life is to be happy. Let me tell you a story. Years ago, I was working at a women's self defense workshop under a lady named Dawn Callan. She's the greatest. She was the greatest self defense instructor I ever met. Specifically women's self defense instructor. Cute little honey blonde, about five foot one, Absolutely lethal. Not dangerous lethal, just amazing. She could teach a woman more in two days than most martial arts instructors can teach in two years. And what she would do is she would teach a workshop where there was a combination of working on a few simple techniques and then sitting and talking about the feelings that are coming up. And you do this for two days, really, really drill it intensely with her, encouraging you to find your strength inside yourself. And then she would test this with a pair of padded attackers who were brilliant at psychologically poking holes, poking at the women in there, just generating their fear, generating their insecurity, and then attacking them, forcing the women to fight back. And dawn would become the voice in these women's heads, screaming at them to kind of go into a state of what I called controlled berserk, where they're out of their ordinary heads all together and into a place that is in touch with the survival wiring, where you're connected with a core. But some might say animal, but I would say spiritual truth, that we have the right to be here as beings. We have the right to defend ourselves, to be free of fear. And being free of fear opens the door to happiness. Anyway, there was one specific incident where a woman who I called Ginger in my essay was in the workshop and she simply could not hit the kicking shield. We're holding the shields for them. And you kick it, kick it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't punch it, she couldn't elbow it, she could not kick it. She would just dissolve into tears, just, I'm afraid. I don't want to hurt you. And she just couldn't do it. So after a couple hours, the other people in the workshop almost gave up on her. And they brought her over to me and they said, steve, see if you can do something with her. And I had this hit on her. I had this sense that she was locked into an illusion, locked into the social game that men and women play, that human beings play, rather than being able to be in touch with that deeper place in herself that knew that she had the right to be here and the right to defend herself. So I decided to try something a little drastic. And because this is for public record, I won't say exactly what I said to her, but it went pretty much like this. I asked her, so, do you have a daughter? And she said, no, I don't have a daughter. I said, you have a little sister. She said, yeah, I have a little sister. I said, yeah. Bingo. Great. I said, do you love her? Ginger nodded, sobbing. I said, would you do anything for her? She said, yeah, I'd do anything for her. Okay. I took a deep breath. Like I said, I won't say exactly what I said to her, but let's just say it was a very explicit, ugly picture. I said, if I get past you, I'm going to blank your sister. And let's just say that whatever you're thinking, what I said was probably worse. And something shifted in her. Something broke open in her, just totally. Just. Her eyes flamed. Instead of thinking about herself, she was thinking about her sister. She might not have had permission to defend herself, but she damned well did have permission to protect her little sister. And she knocked my butt across the room and then jumped on me and beat the hell out of me. It took three men to haul her off. And I was, like, in pain and delighted at the same time. I said that. That right there, that moment, that place inside your heart, that place inside your head, that. That place. That's it. That's where you have to go in order to get this. She was sobbing and crying, but she got it. And she had access to that space inside herself. Hold on just a second. I'm going to make sure that I've got this. Boom. And if I have to hold it, I don't mind, because this one's important. She was great for the rest of the workshop and during the padded attacker, she was like the standout. She was devastating. And after we were done, she just gave me the biggest hug I've ever had and told me that I had given her the best and hardest gift anyone had ever given her, that she had grown up in an abusive household and had no right to consider herself precious. And I had broken through That I was just so happy because I'd taken a risk, that I felt like I saw who it was that she was and that what I did could be set, could help her. Now, there are people who will hear this and they'll say, you know, women are taught to be that way, yes, but they're not the only ones that are taught to be that way. Okay. Smaller people are taught to be that way. They're taught their own version of it. Don't fight back or you'll be a target. Larger people are taught this. Don't be scary or people will hate and fear you. Minorities are taught this. Don't make waves or you'll reap the whirlwind of violence and disapproval. The majority group will just stomp you into the ground. Members of the majority are taught this. You benefited by privilege, so shut up and listen. Don't defend yourself or you're an oppressor. There is no group that doesn't get hit with this stuff. In a world of social niceties, where everyone is playing fair, acting according to social rules, this is okay because there's reciprocation. Courtesies are social lubricants. They ease the way. And this is the reason why diplomats speak so carefully. But people aren't always playing fair. And you have to know when it's time to forget the niceties, to forget the rules. The question that I was asking her without saying it explicitly, was, what would you be willing to die for? See, that woman was willing to die to protect her little sister. That meant that once she got there, she didn't care what I or anyone else thought about her. She didn't care if she lived or died. She was only concerned with the maintenance of her ultimate value, her sister's life. When you're clear about this, you can, as that line from Roadhouse goes, be nice until it's time to not be nice. If you've been damaged by life, it probably affected your sense of self, of being precious and divine. This is true for women, men, entire social structures, humanity itself. The truth is that the core attitude of the martial arts is something very close to, I'm ready to die, and I'm ready to take you with me. A human being in that space either dies or wins. Want to be a black belt in 24 hours? Spend that time alone in a room and consider very clearly what you're willing to die for in life. And then you'll know what you're willing to kill to. To protect. Get really clear on the fact that no matter what you do. You cannot live small enough that death will forget to gather you up. You may not be able to think of hurting another human being to protect yourself due to damage or due to the fact that.