A short motivational talk by Steven Barnes (Diamond Hour) on acknowledging and admitting fear as the first step to change. Barnes catalogs common avoidance tactics (denial, blaming the environment, caretaking, setting impossible preconditions) and gives examples across relationships, weight loss, and finances, then urges honest admission of fear and active research/skill-building (search "Fear Healing" or "Personal growth", join Diamond Hour).
Chapters
Stephen Barnes the Diamond Hour presents Healing Wounded Emotions Part 2 Acknowledging youg Fear now this series once again is on simple tools and simple perspectives on healing yourself and progressing in life from the point of view that living a balanced, dynamic existence allows you to learn the things that you need to learn in order to grow in and change and heal. Now, acknowledging your fear is so important because the most common distraction tactic to keep from moving forward in life is for a person to blame their environment to shoot the messenger. In other words, if you point out to them that something is wrong, they'll blame you for pointing it out, rather than realizing that they wouldn't have been upset in the first place if they hadn't already known that there was something wrong. So they also can just deny, deny, deny, try to pretend that there's nothing wrong whatsoever. They're perfectly fine the way they are, and of course, refuse to accept responsibility. They simply there's no way for them to affect it, so why should they care? If we're specifically talking about relationship wounds, and these wounds can exist in many, many different areas, people will often, in their attempt to distract you use the following tactics. They'll say things like they don't want a relationship, or they'll only allow themselves to be attracted to unavailable people. Or they'll set impossible preconditions to begin a relationship. Or this is a real favorite. They'll drain all their energy into caretaking and fixing other people. Now, all of these things are busy work. All of them are distractions. It would be far more honest for them to simply say, I'm afraid I'm not ready to have a relationship yet. Or more specifically, I have more work to do before I'll be ready. So you might ask what's really driving people who use these tactics? Well, here are some possibilities. They are afraid that they're broken. They're afraid of being hurt again. They fear that they are not worthy. They fear that their goals and dreams are unattainable. And they're afraid that they don't know what they really want. Now, relationships are not the only arena in which this happens. You'll also see this in weight loss, where people will either modify their diet or exercise, but not both at the same time. Time back to relationships. They'll work on themselves or work to meet people, but not both at the same time. In their financial arena, they'll work to increase income or get better at managing their current money, but not both at the same time. In other words, they're setting themselves up for failure until they admit that they are afraid and commit to taking control of their lives. They'll continue this cycle of not taking responsibility for where they are and their forward progress. So the way through here, even if you don't yet know how to deal with the fear, is to admit I am dealing with massive fear in this arena and I don't know how to deal with this fear. Being able to tell the truth is critical because the truth will set you free. Once you've admitted it, you have a goal to deal with the fear so that you can move forward. Now, here's your first Fear is an emotion, not an obstacle. In general, begin to model successful fear strategies. We're going to be giving you some more here on this channel, but you can start right now by going out on Google. Spend 30 minutes a day. How about 10 minutes a day researching fear tactics. Believe that there is an answer waiting for you. You're not alone in this. Keep looking. Growing. Believe. Believe. Believe. Now. What's your next step? You can Google terms like Fear Healing, Personal growth out on the Internet and start finding answers. Or you can join the Diamond Hour tip list at www.diamondhour.com and join the 101 board to brainstorm and ask questions about these arenas. Have faith. Never stop believing in yourself. You've just told the truth about something that most people do not have the clarity and self love to admit. Believe in yourself. Be the hero in the adventure of your lifetime.
