A short motivational talk by Steven Barnes (Healing Emotions #3: Take Responsibility) that argues individuals must accept responsibility for their own emotions and happiness. Barnes defines responsibility as the ability to respond, reframes selfishness as necessary self-care (contrasting short-term harmful selfishness with long-term healthy selfishness), cites Maslow’s hierarchy to support healthy giving, and offers five practical steps (center yourself, commit to happiness, examine identity, practice long-term selfishness, take responsibility for health/success). The talk closes with calls-to-action (visit diamondhour.com, sign up for daily tips and a brainstorming board) and encouragement to treat oneself with the care one would give a beloved child.
Chapters
The Diamond Hour presents Healing Emotions Part three Third Step Take responsibility. And this is why it's so critical. One of the best ways for people to try to control you is to make you responsible for their happiness. Conversely, believing that other people, or for that matter, any things outside your own mind are causing your happiness is missing the relationship between mind and emotion. This is one of the things that makes a lot of people reluctant to accept responsibility for taking action for their own emotions and status. Remember that responsibility means the ability to respond. You are responsible for making yourself happy. Grasping this can be a liberating experience. Once you wrestle this into submission, once you commit to this, all that remains is the why you are committed to happiness, and of course, the how. But you might ask, isn't that selfish? You bet it is. Now, the problem is with the definition of selfishness. Yes, there are people who attempt to tell you that you're selfish. If you seek to reference your actions to your own value, values and pleasures, it might be useful to ask yourself how often they neglect their own. In general, people who insist you put their wishes first have gotten in line before you to worship at their own image. In other words, it's a con game. It is I take care of me and you take care of me too. Understand the difference between short and long term selfishness. Short term selfishness involves cheating, lying, stealing and abusing. But long term selfishness involves behaviors that lead to supportive, healthy, loving relationships over time. Further, Maslow's hierarchy of human needs suggests that when our basic needs are satisfied, we generally begin to evolve toward more complex, interconnected and spiritual values. In other words, healthy people automatically give and contribute. It is small, frightened people who believe they must hurt or control others to create their own happiness. We don't want that for you. So here are your steps. Number one Grasp that you are the center of your universe. Commit to making yourself happy and healthy first, just as a mother puts on her own oxygen mask first if cabin pressure fails on an airplane. Connect family, friends and jobs to this dynamic center, being certain that everything you do for them satisfies your own needs and aligns with your values. Giving 100% of yourself to your family is fine so long as you are doing it for your reasons and not those of someone who who programmed you. 3. Commit to going more deeply into the question who am I? Every day selfishness takes on a totally new complexion once you go past the surface levels of this question. 4. Commit to long term selfishness. Always deal with people with the assumption that you will want to deal with them again and yet again in the future and that they will talk about you behind your back, comparing notes and that they can read your mind. Number five. And with these protections in mind, go for it. Take responsibility for your health, your happiness, your success. Remember, if it's to be, it's up to me now. What's the next step? Go to my website, www.diamondhour.com and sign up for free Daily Tips. Also, you can sign up for the free 101 board for brainstorming and mutual support. The URL is on your screen. Remember that you are as deserving of love, health, healing and happiness as anyone who's ever walked the earth. Don't ever sell yourself short. Treat yourself as if you were your own most beloved child. You'd go into a burning building to save your child, wouldn't you? Why should you treat yourself with any less respect and love? This is Stephen Barnes encouraging you to become the hero in the adventure of your lifetime. Thank you.
